And who says romance is dead. I love to read such beautiful things said about a partner after such a long time together. It is a blessing to us all when you share these beautiful creations of yours. Maybe we can all learn a little something if we listen to you. I know you have 'spoken' volumes to me. Thank you for sharing.
You are quite right when you say "it is not a place to linger long". I believe it takes a special kind of writer to craft good poetry. I don't review poetry much because, mostly, I see a lot of rubbish. Your work, however, is amongst the rare and elusive collection of really good poetry. Your truths are ones that speak frankly from your words, finding a home in us all.
I really like that you class this as prose. Often I see this type of writing classed as poetry but for me, that title doesn't fit. This is one of those beautifully honest and open pieces that touches one's heart. There is a depth and a sincerity that resounds within the words. I really enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing it.
And here you convince me of my previous conclusion drawn of you. Genius. The fact that you can create worlds beyond my comprehension and STILL argue with unfailing logic. This very impressive argument is intelligent, well-thought out and unbiased. I have recently reviewed some other pieces on "God's existence" and they were heavily biased. It is always with respect that I view someone who can argue such a profound topic and remain composed.
What a remarkable feat of writing mastery. I don't know if i have ever read anything quite like this before, or ever will again. I read once that writers come from one of two houses. The art house or the craft house. Those from the art house can weave a wonderful tale but need to develop structure and discipline. Those from the craft house have developed their writing ability by adhering to well known principles that create good writing. Occasionally there are those geniuses who were born of the ground between both houses. Within these fabled creatures is that mystical ability to charm their scribes, enticing them to dance over the page spilling ink into stories that write themselves on the minds of their readers. You, my friend, are one such genius.
I was almost scared to start reading this after my last tryst through your port *winks*. I was much relieved. Not only did I get to keep my dinner but I had the pleasure of delighting in your skillfully woven words. Only you can take the modern creation, ecotourists, and blend it with the ancient fantasies that surround King Aurthur. This cleverly crafted short story is a joy to read. Good luck with the contest, it's not like you need it though. :)
Once again you capture the depth of pain that we endure as life throws rocks at us. The loss of a parent under any circumstances is brutal but to loose one who is already gone from you is a cruel twist. I cannot imagine the pain you suffered even though I have lost a parent for the truth is our losses are our own, no two are the same, bearing the same burden and dishing out the same grief.
I absolutely love the form of this poem. I find your poetry to be extremely evocative, touching depths within me I am not sure I like. I too have hidden places that are a source of pain but unlike you, I am not yet brave enough to explore them. Thank you so much for being so brave.
This is an interesting little piece that plunges the reader into the dark and fearful world of death. I wonder how close to reality this is. Chances are, very close. I am impressed with your ability to create a full and provocative piece with so few words. It is indeed an impressive skill. Well done.
I am sure you have a very good reason behind this short piece. It almost sounds to me like you are offering some wise words of advice. I have had a daughter who would run away. As a parent it is difficult to tolerate a childs selfish behavior and yes, all we want to do is love them. Thank you for your words.
Oh what a shame you repeated a word. It is a great effort though. I, myself have entered the one hundred word no repeat contest and can attest to its difficulty. I love the choice of words and the wonderful imagery that comes from it. Quite impressive for only 100 words. Good luck for next time.
Haha very clever. It makes me think, how many times have I dismissed my own children's please for attention. Its not that i think there could be a coffin in my basement but the truth is, I think we miss a lot of really important things. Thank you very much for your interesting read. Good luck with the contest.
Very clever. With a meager one hundred words you have managed to create a complete story. It has drama, tension, surprise, mystery and tension. What an excellent composition you have created. If this is what you can do with one hundred words i can just imagine what your full story's are like. Good work.
Hi there, I am wondering if this is an idea for a story or whether you intend it to stand alone. As an idea it has great potential because it is both unique and clever. I can just imagine how the story will go. You write very well and i am sure that if you spend time this will work out well.
Hi there. Well this short story is a little odd in that I doesn't really present as a story. I know its difficult to write within such a small word count but this really doesn't have a plot or characters to speak of. I do appreciate the angst of a broken heart though. Good luck and keep on writing.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose.
This story is in need of a lot of attention. The sentences are incomplete and the story is fragmented. With some work this could be much better. Good luck and please continue to write.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose.
Very well done. It is very difficult to create a complete story with so few words but you have managed to do so very well. There is so much truth in this piece it rings true for us all. Thank you for sharing, good luck and keep writing.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose.
This really needs some work. The repeated 'so' is hugely distracting and I didn't really get the point. Maybe if you extend it and instead of writing it like you are telling an event, you could write it like a story. Good luck and keep writing.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose.
I am assuming that this little piece is for a contest. Even so it needs work. This story is simply a description of an ugly fish so really there is nothing to critique. Your description is quite good though. Good luck and keep writing.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose. I am not really sure of the purpose of such a short piece. It lacks any real depth and seems to be a mere snippet of a possible story. I would like to encourage you to write more on this. Good luck and keep writing.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose. This has the makings of a very good story. You start it very well and have a great style. You have to watch how you tense things though. Look at this sentence.
"If you ever had the chance to meet Mr. Hawkins at this very exact moment you would think that he was like a earthquake. His hands trembled, his right foot tapped rapidly, while he was staring at the carpet that looked like a pool of blood."
It should read, "If you had the chance to meet Mr. Hawkins, at this very exact moment, you would think that he was like a earthquake. His hands trembled, his right foot tapped rapidly, while he stared at the carpet that looked like a pool of blood."
Apart from that, a great start. Good luck and keep writing.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose. Very well written with great use of descriptions. I can imagine you will become quite a good writer. Although this piece is brief, I thoroughly enjoyed the evocative nature of it. I look forward to reading more. Good luck and keep writing.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose. This is a sweet and somewhat troubling story. A child's faith is a precious thing, a wonderfully strong and simple gift that, if harnessed will stand them in good favour. So, for me, to lie to a child about something so precious is just unconscionable. Besides my personal opinion on this topic, the story itself is well written but somewhat pointless. There is no real plot to speak of but the characters and dialogue are good. Good luck and keep writing.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose.
This is a very well written piece that shows clear writing ability. I love the theme and chosen storyline. It works very well with the dialogue. I found the whole piece to be totally authentic and believable. Well done for creating a great piece.
Hi there and welcome to WDC. Please remember this is only my opinion and as such, can be disregarded if you choose.
Creating a short story is a difficult job, and one I can see you struggle with. You have done well to try and create a unique piece but it lacks the basic ingredients of a good story. The entire story consists of the narrator telling the reader what has happened and even the story line is quite implausible. In time and with the right instruction, your writing will develop. Good luck and please continue to write.
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