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1,808 Public Reviews Given
2,147 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Poetic Embraces  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I like the way you described looking back on your memories. You mentioned a cat, I hope you found it again if that was something real from your actual life. I have loved animals in my life, so I can relate to the loss of an animal friend.

This was a bittersweet poem about memories, thank you for sharing!
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Review of No Control  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your philosophical musing hits home for me, I’ve worried about things out of my control quite a few times. I agree with you! It’s similar to the saying: when one door closes, another door opens, but we’re so preoccupied with the door that is closed that we missed our opportunity.

Good job!
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Review of Ode to the sun  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem reflects how I feel about hot or cold weather. In summer, I look forward to winter, but in winter, I look forward to warmer weather. Last winter I felt the weather was too cold, but this summer was too warm for me. I just can’t accept whatever time of year I’m in!

This poem was a good interpretation of how most people feel during the winter months.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful short story affirming the glory of God using scientific jargon. I couldn’t argue against Albert’s logic! It was a nice surprise when I found out who the author of this theory was.

I would really like to know of this is a work of fiction, or if Albert really spoke of this in real life.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the dark concept of the end of the world with an added twist of hope for the future. You did well for a poem that is so short. The prompt you provided showed what you had to work with, you did a great job!

I came up with a similar idea recently, about the end of the Earth and mankind must migrate to the moons of Jupiter. Your poem reminded me of that.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
After reading the prompt, I think you did a great job with this, considering that the most obvious words for giving directions couldn’t be used.

You misspelled “directions” in the third paragraph. In the 4th paragraph, you have quotation marks with a space before the first word. I also think you misspelled catawampus.
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Review of Park Walk  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an interesting sequence of events, following an older person meeting someone they knew in high school back in the 1960s. I was born in the 1970s, so these characters would be members of my parents generation.

It’s interesting to see people that age still healthy and living life. The ending was unexpected, and we’ll written.
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Review of Puff and Belle  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a cute story set in a fantasy milieu. I disliked the choice of font, but it was somewhat appropriate for this type of story. I thought it was creative that you, as the writer, gave the characters the things they needed to deal with the obstacles they encountered along the way.

I think I spotted a mistake, it looked like you had “craming” when it should have been: “craning” earlier in the story when they encountered the ogre on the bridge.
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Review of Jake McCrary  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an awesome poem about an outlaw in the old west and his lady love! You did a good job with the correct amount of syllables and the cadence of each section of the poem.

I was riveted from the beginning to the ending, and though I knew they would both die, I was surprised at how it all ended.

Keep up the great work!
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was an interesting and chilling tale, it left me wondering what kind of a predator the protagonist is. He seemed like a vampire, or maybe something else. It would be good if you went back and clarified that for the reader.

The exotic location was enthralling, and the character of Gaston was comical.

I hope to read more of your work!
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Review of Space Lasers!  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I wasn’t expecting that surprise ending, very well done! The whole scenario seemed plausible within a modern context. The satellite companies you mentioned sounded like real companies.

You did a great job of setting up the milieu these characters live in, and the buildup didn’t give away the humorous and unexpected ending.

Great job!
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Review of Sharif  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was an interesting story that seemed plausible to me. The way you described the desert made it seem vivid and real. I like the photograph used to illustrate the main character.

The way you described the battle, without going into detail of every move each character made, was a choice of writing style I agree with. Sometimes less is more.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can relate to some of the despair you described, I think most people can. I had to look up the word ardor, so I learned a new vocabulary word. I like the ending, where you implied that there was hope. I agree with that message, if you are depressed because of love you once had, there is always a second chance with a new person.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I normally can’t get into poetry because I usually find it difficult to interpret. I liked this poem, because of the theme and the way it rhymed. I hate poems that don’t rhyme!

Another thing I liked was the character arc Darcy Grey went through, he was horrible at something and then learned to become better at it. I think that’s a lesson most people can learn from.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a humorous item about a rubber duck. I had to look up the title, it seems to be the word rubber duck in German. I like what you said about the abyss, bringing a rubber duck into a nihilistic philosophical discourse was comedic.

If you are German, welcome to Writing.com and I hope to read more of your work!
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a cute story. You did so much with the prompts, you actually put your own spin on them and came up with a unique story with a plausible premise. I actually believed in these characters and want to read more about them.

You did so much with a thousand words!
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
It must be a real honor to have a father in the armed forces. My dad was a Marine, but he got out before I was born. You did a good job of conveying the emotions of a child waiting for their father to come home from the military. Those of us who never experienced this can have empathy for you through your writing.
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Review of Courage  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was a realistic depiction of someone dealing with the early stages of Lou Gehrig’s disease. It was sad, and made me wish someone could find a cure soon! This would be a scary disease to have, thank you for bringing attention to it here in this writing community.
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Review of Haiku 0017  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Amazing how you could tell so much with so little! I like what you did with the prompt, and thank you for providing information about the prompt and the rules of a Haiku.

I could definitely visualize the environment you described. The cartoon predator tracks were a nice touch!
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Review of The Human Magnet  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
It’s interesting that these things keep happening to you, I think they have happened to most of us at one time or another. The idea that it happens to you more often than for the general population is weird, but in a good, interesting way.

In the second paragraph you have the word “when” twice. In the final paragraph, you have the word “aisle” misspelled as “isle.”
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Review of Christmas Wish  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a cute story of a family during Christmas time. I like how the grandfather was an intrinsic part of the childhood of the protagonist. That would be nice to be close to an older relative like that.

I like the grandfather’s spirit, despite being older and in ill health, he was still ready to challenge his grandson to a video game!
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an interesting philosophical take on Halloween. The contrast between how we think as children and the reality of the word that we realize as we get older was an interesting theme.

My only complaint is that you didn’t have paragraph breaks. You should skip a line between paragraphs, it makes it easier on the eyes.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
These are good suggestions or rules for writers. There have been times after I’ve written when I’ve done some of what you advised here, and my stories came out better.

Thank you for taking the time to share your techniques. I plan on copying and pasting this so I can re-read it from time to time.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don’t always understand poetry, and a lot of poetry is open to personal interpretation. I tried to comprehend this poem because it interested me because it mentions science and creativity, two things that are important to me.

I think I comprehend some of what you were trying to say. The universe creates creativity, and creativity created a lens to view the universe. Creativity is very important to us as humans, or life would be boring.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was well written, and your prose is ornate and with style, without being pretentious. That is important for a writer.

My only problem is the paragraphs, they should have a space between them so they’re easier to read. A wall of text isn’t easy on the eyes, and for Internet writing, the style is to have a space between each paragraph, like I did in this review.
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