This was an interesting scenario that applies to a lot of people at some point in their lives. It is a frightening situation to be in, to be the caregiver for someone who is close to dying. I’m glad there was a happy ending!
In the penultimate paragraph, you have “know” when it would be more accurate for “known” to be there.
This was a beautiful story, I like the telepathic connection between the cat and Rosy. The battle between the ghost of the cat and the villains was awesome, this would make a good comic book or film.
In the final paragraph, you have the word “the” before the word Rosy, and I don’t think that is supposed to be there.
This was a great way to get to know more about you! I like learning about the writers here at WDC. It’s too bad about your eye sight, I wish I could heal you. Something similar happened to me while riding a bicycle in 1999, I got hit but my bike was damaged, and I was okay.
In the penultimate paragraph, you have a lower case I where upper case is needed. In the final paragraph, “when” is capitalized and it needs to be lower case.
Having this turn out to be the delusion of a mental patient was a nice touch, however, I anticipated the ending a mile away. I have a history of mental health issues and I've had similar delusions like this when I was in my teenage years. This seemed very plausible and accurate for someone who is mentally ill.
I like the way you described looking back on your memories. You mentioned a cat, I hope you found it again if that was something real from your actual life. I have loved animals in my life, so I can relate to the loss of an animal friend.
This was a bittersweet poem about memories, thank you for sharing!
Your philosophical musing hits home for me, I’ve worried about things out of my control quite a few times. I agree with you! It’s similar to the saying: when one door closes, another door opens, but we’re so preoccupied with the door that is closed that we missed our opportunity.
This poem reflects how I feel about hot or cold weather. In summer, I look forward to winter, but in winter, I look forward to warmer weather. Last winter I felt the weather was too cold, but this summer was too warm for me. I just can’t accept whatever time of year I’m in!
This poem was a good interpretation of how most people feel during the winter months.
I like the dark concept of the end of the world with an added twist of hope for the future. You did well for a poem that is so short. The prompt you provided showed what you had to work with, you did a great job!
I came up with a similar idea recently, about the end of the Earth and mankind must migrate to the moons of Jupiter. Your poem reminded me of that.
After reading the prompt, I think you did a great job with this, considering that the most obvious words for giving directions couldn’t be used.
You misspelled “directions” in the third paragraph. In the 4th paragraph, you have quotation marks with a space before the first word. I also think you misspelled catawampus.
This is an interesting sequence of events, following an older person meeting someone they knew in high school back in the 1960s. I was born in the 1970s, so these characters would be members of my parents generation.
It’s interesting to see people that age still healthy and living life. The ending was unexpected, and we’ll written.
This was a cute story set in a fantasy milieu. I disliked the choice of font, but it was somewhat appropriate for this type of story. I thought it was creative that you, as the writer, gave the characters the things they needed to deal with the obstacles they encountered along the way.
I think I spotted a mistake, it looked like you had “craming” when it should have been: “craning” earlier in the story when they encountered the ogre on the bridge.
This is an awesome poem about an outlaw in the old west and his lady love! You did a good job with the correct amount of syllables and the cadence of each section of the poem.
I was riveted from the beginning to the ending, and though I knew they would both die, I was surprised at how it all ended.
This was an interesting and chilling tale, it left me wondering what kind of a predator the protagonist is. He seemed like a vampire, or maybe something else. It would be good if you went back and clarified that for the reader.
The exotic location was enthralling, and the character of Gaston was comical.
I wasn’t expecting that surprise ending, very well done! The whole scenario seemed plausible within a modern context. The satellite companies you mentioned sounded like real companies.
You did a great job of setting up the milieu these characters live in, and the buildup didn’t give away the humorous and unexpected ending.
This was an interesting story that seemed plausible to me. The way you described the desert made it seem vivid and real. I like the photograph used to illustrate the main character.
The way you described the battle, without going into detail of every move each character made, was a choice of writing style I agree with. Sometimes less is more.
I can relate to some of the despair you described, I think most people can. I had to look up the word ardor, so I learned a new vocabulary word. I like the ending, where you implied that there was hope. I agree with that message, if you are depressed because of love you once had, there is always a second chance with a new person.
I normally can’t get into poetry because I usually find it difficult to interpret. I liked this poem, because of the theme and the way it rhymed. I hate poems that don’t rhyme!
Another thing I liked was the character arc Darcy Grey went through, he was horrible at something and then learned to become better at it. I think that’s a lesson most people can learn from.
This is a humorous item about a rubber duck. I had to look up the title, it seems to be the word rubber duck in German. I like what you said about the abyss, bringing a rubber duck into a nihilistic philosophical discourse was comedic.
If you are German, welcome to Writing.com and I hope to read more of your work!
This was a cute story. You did so much with the prompts, you actually put your own spin on them and came up with a unique story with a plausible premise. I actually believed in these characters and want to read more about them.
It must be a real honor to have a father in the armed forces. My dad was a Marine, but he got out before I was born. You did a good job of conveying the emotions of a child waiting for their father to come home from the military. Those of us who never experienced this can have empathy for you through your writing.
This was a realistic depiction of someone dealing with the early stages of Lou Gehrig’s disease. It was sad, and made me wish someone could find a cure soon! This would be a scary disease to have, thank you for bringing attention to it here in this writing community.
Amazing how you could tell so much with so little! I like what you did with the prompt, and thank you for providing information about the prompt and the rules of a Haiku.
I could definitely visualize the environment you described. The cartoon predator tracks were a nice touch!
It’s interesting that these things keep happening to you, I think they have happened to most of us at one time or another. The idea that it happens to you more often than for the general population is weird, but in a good, interesting way.
In the second paragraph you have the word “when” twice. In the final paragraph, you have the word “aisle” misspelled as “isle.”
This was a cute story of a family during Christmas time. I like how the grandfather was an intrinsic part of the childhood of the protagonist. That would be nice to be close to an older relative like that.
I like the grandfather’s spirit, despite being older and in ill health, he was still ready to challenge his grandson to a video game!
This is an interesting philosophical take on Halloween. The contrast between how we think as children and the reality of the word that we realize as we get older was an interesting theme.
My only complaint is that you didn’t have paragraph breaks. You should skip a line between paragraphs, it makes it easier on the eyes.
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