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1,808 Public Reviews Given
2,147 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of (un)Fitness  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. You did a good job of following the prompt. As an avid gym-goer I like reading anything about the gym. I am also out of shape like your character, but my goal is to become aesthetic.

Errors/Suggestions: I found this mistake: My motivation was quiet clear. "quiet" would make more sense if it was changed to "quite"

What I liked: I'm glad you posted the prompt at the bottom of the page so readers know why you wrote about this topic, too many writers don't take the time to do that.
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Review of Review Please  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I actually agree with your opinion about guns in this article, I think making them illegal would be a mistake, because criminals would acquire guns some other way, while law-abiding citizens would have no way to defend themselves. I have felt this way for a long time.

Errors/Suggestions: I found an error: The reader can quickly understand his essay is bout gun rights and gun ownership. The word "bout" is misspelled and needs to have an "a" added to the beginning of the word to make it "about"

What I liked: I liked the theme of this article, that making guns and ammunition illegal would be a mistake.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This poem was short and sweet, with so few lines you really packed a punch! Not only that, but I like chocolate too, and I think it is a perfect choice for the subject of a poem!

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind!

What I liked: I like that first line, it is very poetic. It seemed to me like a line written by a professional! I also like that you took the time to explain what type of poem this is, more people should take the time to do that, it's a nice touch.
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Review of Jimmy Moses  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was an interesting story, I like how shaky and scared the guy was at the beginning of the story. It would have been interesting to learn more about what happened.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind, but as a suggestion, I think you should expand this story and give more information about what the protagonist experienced that made him so shaky.

What I liked: I like how initially the word aliens implied aliens from outer space, at least that is what the reader assumes, only to have it actually mean aliens from Mexico.
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Review of Amanda  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I have tried writing extremely short stories before, so I know how much more difficult they can be compared to longer stories where you don't have a word limit. I think you wrote this story effectively, and conveyed the horror your character experienced adequately.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked how short and to the point this story was, and I liked the surprise ending!
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I like poems and items about God and what he does for us, even though this was written from the perspective of someone from a different Christian denomination than me. I was raised Southern Baptist, and I plan on converting to Catholic, so the Jehovah's Witnesses denomination has some belief systems that I don't agree with. That said, I still think there are things we can all learn from each other, and I read those Watchtower pamphlets sometimes and there has been good information in there in the past.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I enjoyed how you mentioned that God solves our problems when we need him most, I have found that to be true in my personal life.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was an interesting story, I like how the big cat and the new kitten got along. Usually, the older cat doesn't approve of the new kitten.

Errors/Suggestions: I found an error in the first paragraph: I had found and ad "and" needs to be changed to "an"

I found another error: I am so glad that love each other I think "that" would make more sense if it was changed to "they"

What I liked: I like stories about cats! I hope this was a true story.
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Review of To You  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I enjoyed this, mind reading is an interesting subject. At one time or another in my life, I've believed that certain people could read my mind, that's why this item interested me on a personal level.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I really liked the surprise ending, when we found out who it was that has mind reading abilities.
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Review of The Break-Up  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a tragic story, I hope it wasn't based on a true story. We read about stories like this in the news, it's really sad.

Errors/Suggestions: I found this error: The sound of the gun rung threw her ears "threw" is misspelled, and should be changed to "through"

What I liked: I like that you're dealing with a tough issue.
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Review of My Little Flower  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I really liked this poem, I could visualize that beautiful flower in my mind. I'm curious to know if this poem is based on a true story.

Errors/Suggestions: I found this mistake: It had grown in a crack, on the side of one them. I think you should put "of" in between "one" and "them"

What I liked: I like how you took the flower and put it in a pot and brought it home, flowers like that are probably more beautiful than flowers you can buy at a store.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I like your use of the prompt, you developed an interesting story with believable characters. I could almost see this first scene in my mind, with the space ship hovering near the silo. I've always loved science fiction, so I'm glad you ventured into that territory with this prompt.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't catch any technical errors of any kind. Good job!

What I liked: I like the surprise ending, verifying the boys' suspicions.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This seemed to be a nice poem about foot prints in the sand, but it also seemed to be a metaphorical expression of life. Using the beach as a metaphor is a good idea, because people associate positive thoughts with the beach.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: I liked the beach reference, it reminded me of summer time. I also like that you mentioned God, that makes the concept of past and future and destiny seem like they are under God's control.
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Review of Titan  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. The title caught my eye, this was about the titans of Greco-Roman mythology. The message seemed to be that they were created by man, so they must bow to man.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked how you re-worked the mythology to include men as the creators of myth, and acknowledged their contribution in your poem.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This poem reminds me of the early days of Stories.com, before it became Writing.com. I got locked up in 2002 after being on this site for a year and a half, and came back in 2004, so I missed out on the third anniversary. This poem makes me yearn for those early days of WDC!

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind, but you might want to capitalize Writing Dot Com. Of course it isn't necessary, but it's a style choice.

What I liked: I liked the line about ratings toughening their hide, we can all relate to that!
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Review of Into Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a cute poem about a candle, I like poems that anthropomorphize objects like this. You did a good job of breathing life into a candle.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like the way the candle had a personality, and felt joy just like us humans. I also like the candle's sense of purpose, to bring light to others. We all need a purpose in life!
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was an interesting attempt at writing about a dystopian society, reminded me of "A Wrinkle In Time" or "Fahrenheit 451"

Errors/Suggestions: The paragraphs you wrote are all huge blocks of text that need to be broken up; it is hard on the reader's eyes to not have smaller paragraphs. The first word of the second huge paragraph needs to be capitalized. Here is a misspelled word in the final paragraph: wich is again the word "wich" needs to be spelled "which"

I noticed some word in bold, if these were prompts, maybe you could write a post script that explains to the reader what contest sponsored these prompts and when, and how well you placed in the contest, if it was a contest.

What I liked: I liked the way this society functions, though I wouldn't want to live there. They even control the weather!
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Review of Dream  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. As a science fiction writer and comic book artist, I love the concept of this poem, and I agree with everything you've written here.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked the theme and philosophy of this poem, you did a fantastic job! from one writer/creative person to another, this could be the mantra for people like us!
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Review of Peas in a Pod  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I like this introduction to your character, he/she seems interesting. You included a lot of details.

Errors/Suggestions: Two things, you misspelled "nicotine" as "nicotene," and the other problem I had is I couldn't determine the gender of your character. By mentioning there was a female partner named Lizzie, it would seem your character was a lesbian woman, but other signs could indicate this is a male character. You should establish early on whether or not this is a man or a woman you're writing about. It could be embarrassing for a reader to like a character thinking it was one gender, only to discover further into the story that it was the opposite gender.

What I liked: I like how much detail you used in developing this character.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I liked the jokes, this seemed genuine, from the perspective of a farmer. I thought it was interesting that your character was doing a stand-up comedy routine.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind, but as a suggestion, you never explained what sow’s ears or bush hogs are to those of us who aren't in the know.

What I liked: I liked the jokes, they were funny.
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Review of My Dad  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a sad story, I'm sorry for your loss.

Errors/Suggestions: I found quite a few mistakes, I'll mention a couple. Here's this mistake: It was there last day in Texas before they go back to Arkansas. You used the wrong version of "there," you should've used "their"

I found another mistake: My dad airport base was moved to a lot of different places. You should have an apostrophe and an "s" after dad, like this: "dad's"

What I liked: I liked the happy times you described with your dad, he sounded like a cool person. At least he accomplished a lot in life, being a pilot takes a special kind of person, he must've been very brave!
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Review of Down the Well  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I think you did a good job of following the prompt, you wove together an interesting little story! The imaginary friend seemed vivid and realistic.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked how scary the proposition was the imaginary friend made to the little girl, he seems friendly at first, but then he seemed dangerous.
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Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I enjoyed this poem, it was sort of a shout-out to the end of the year for the month of November, I never really thought about November that way but now that I've read this, I guess you're right. You mentioned gratitude and veterans, that covers Thanksgiving and Veteran's day, the two main holidays in November.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: I like that you mentioned veterans, we should all have gratitude for them. I also like how neatly you wrote this poem into fourteen lines, it stands out as well-written compared to some of the poetry I've read on this site that are sort of thrown together without thought to form.
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Review of Embrace My Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the review selection tool. I enjoy love poems, and this one was inspirational because it dealt with a couple who were very old but who had remained together for many years.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked how happy this couple were despite advanced years.
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Review of Sirocco  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I like the scenery you described, metaphorically I'm sure most people can relate to what you were describing.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like your use of metaphor to describe your emotional state, the landscape you described did an adequate job of describing your state of mind. I also like that you mentioned an oasis, so we know there is hope.
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Review of Blushing  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a funny little story/poem, it sounded like the protagonist was calling a sex line, but ended up asking a totally unrelated question.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked the ending, that was kind of funny. I wasn't expecting something like that.
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