This would be a good story without all of the spelling errors. The orb was mysterious, and had properties that were beyond human knowledge. You have a good imagination!
I found some mistakes. You misspelled “regarding” in paragraph 2. In paragraph 4, you misspelled separate. In paragraph 6, you have “as well” as one word. In paragraph 7, you misspelled colleague.
This was an interesting children’s story about anthropomorphic animals. Something like this could be made into a comic book or a cartoon, you should add more short stories to this milieu and collect them and publish them as one unit.
A dragon and panda are both predators, so they make good investigators. I enjoyed this story!
One thing that is unclear to me is that I’m not sure who is attacking at the end, the large number of people over the hill, or the smaller group of protagonists. I feel that you need to go back and edit the ending and clarify for the readers exactly what is happening at the end of the story.
I know as writers we know what is happening in our stories, and we feel that we were clear with what we were writing about, but there may be a lack of clarity for the readers that we don’t identify unless someone points it out to us.
I thought this was some kind of alternate universe scenario, I was unfamiliar with Guy Fawkes day in Great Britain, I live in the United States. I looked it up on Wikipedia, thanks for teaching me something. I hadn’t noticed the 1953 at the top. I was waiting for some kind of clever ending indicating a weird future or alternate reality.
This was a plausible family oriented short story that’s could’ve really happened. I enjoyed reading it. And thank you for teaching me about history.
Love poems are my favorite type of poetry. When I read something like this, I wonder who the person is the poet is writing about; are they someone the poet knew in the past, or a current partner?
You’ve done well with this, better than I possibly could. Keep up the great work!
This could’ve been entitled: “A funny thing happened at the mall today…”
Something like this, that could really happen, is more incredible than science fiction or fantasy stories, in my opinion. It’s funny that your protagonist stumbled into a robbery and foiled it, then an additional funny thing happens with a reward he can’t use. This reminds me of Peter Parker’s bad luck in the Spider-Man comic books.
This is is a great outline for a novel, I like the hidden treasure and the curse. Those were nice touches! I was disappointed that Keith didn’t find the treasure. You’ve got the skills to put together a solid drama, I think you’re headed in the right direction.
This was a humorous story told tongue in cheek. I actually thought it was a real recipe at first! If you haven’t already, you should take a shot at writing more comedy items.
I spotted some errors:
In paragraph 7, you have the word worst when it should say worse. In that same paragraph, you have the word your it should be you.
I can relate to poems like this, I’m religious and agree with most of what you’re saying. Poems are open to interpretation, so I might get things out of this that you as the author didn’t intend.
I spotted a few errors:
In the first paragraph, you have a comma by itself with a period that does not belong there.
In paragraph three, you have a misspelled word: pierched also, in that same paragraph, you have a comma a space away from a word by itself. This needs to be moved next to the letter that precedes it.
In paragraph seven, you have the word “alonenes” and it needs an “s” added to the end.
In paragraph eight, you have a period that doesn’t belong, between the words authentic and spiritual
Finally, in paragraph nine, you have a comma by itself after the word “finally”
This is an interesting poem about the fight between good and evil. I’m glad good won out, I believe the things you wrote about are true to some extent.
I have religious beliefs, and I want good to prevail.
I think I may have spotted an error: It lives with them, directing its biding. I think biding should have been bidding.
I love dogs and cats, so I love poems and stories about them. Your poem reminds me of my grandmother’s dog when I was growing up, he hated the mailman!
On lines 8, 13, and 14 you have a comma that is one space away from the letter it is supposed to be next to. In the second paragraph, you have the same thing on line 9.
I like the message of this, but it would be interesting to have you try to explain exactly how people weaponize these concepts. I’m half Mexican, so equality and equity are just as important to me as they are to you.
I like reading true stories of people giving back to their community. There are still good people left in this world, you have proven that! The description of the foods you delivered were vivid, and I like the way you put “fixing’s” in quotation marks.
I hope you continue to help the less fortunate each year!
You have a very eloquent way of wording things without being pretentious. I like poems like that. The scenes you described were vivid and interesting, and you touched on a lot of different types of people.
In the second sentence, you misspelled the word “pulse” as pusled.
This was a beautiful poem about a wedding day. I’m assuming this was for a real wedding for people you know, and if so, they must be lucky to have you in their lives.
I like the color of the font and the bold lettering, that really makes it stand out more. It sounds exciting that these two people are starting their journey in life together, I hope I find that special someone some day and experience the same joys as the couple you wrote about.
It’s amazing that you could write a poem with so few lines and still get a point across. The protagonist is green with envy over the neighbor’s good looks, and the use of green is applied in comparison to the neighbor’s lawn in a metaphorical sense.
I’ve never read a poem this short before, you did an excellent job!
This must have been a harrowing experience to go through at 16 years old, you must be very brave. I would’ve been terrified in your place. You’ve done well sharing the emotions you felt at that time.
On the fifth line, the period is a space away from the last letter of the sentence. In the last line, you have a lower case i when it should be capitalized. Also in the last line, you have a comma a space away from the word it’s supposed to be attached to.
As a person with a mental illness, it sounds to me from reading this item that you may suffer from depression. I’m glad that you find little things in life to give you enjoyment. I wish I could help you and take your pain away.
My advice is to seek the services of a mental health professional, there is nothing wrong with admitting that you need help.
As for the structure of your essay, I would say if you have two paragraphs, you should skip a line between them, as I have done here. I have three paragraphs separated by a space in between them, that makes it easier to read. Other than that, thank you for sharing your experience.
This story had a clear beginning and end, with a humorous climax. I liked the fantasy element, it reminded me of old Twilight Zone episodes.
It’s amazing that you could tell a cohesive story and still get your point across with so few words. I think you did well with the prompt you were given.
This is an interesting premise that I’m sure many people have suffered from. Actually, two things: insomnia and fear of death.
As far as the insomnia is concerned, maybe you could exercise during the day to make yourself tired. I’ve had times in my life when I was manic and didn’t sleep for 3 days, but I focused on happy thoughts.
On to the essay you wrote: you did a good job of conveying the feelings of someone going through these things. The way you worded it was eloquent and prosaic.
This was a good short story with a comedic, punchy ending. You’re great at writing comedy, I think you should write more short stories like this one.
I wrote for a comedy show in 1991, and I had a lot of fun coming up with funny stories. I can recognize good comedy talent, and I think you’ve got that touch.
This was a deep poem, I like it when people get philosophical about life and the universe. You did a beautiful job with this. It’s good for humans to think of the mysteries of the universe, that is how we find the answers we seek.
I agree with what you said at the end, that knowing later is better than never knowing. I can relate to that concept.
This was a cute and funny poem. I like the way your words had two different meanings. You managed to tell a story with a beginning and ending, and it all rhymed. I hope to read more of your poetry in the near future.
I like the twist ending with a mention of a national chain we're familiar with.
This is the most comprehensive, well put together treatise on vulgarity that I’ve ever read! You really put a lot of effort into this, I found it interesting and enlightening.
You articulated yourself so well, it seems like you must have a college education. I’d be interested in knowing your major. You could be a college professor if you wanted to!
This was a humorous story involving a police officer who probably thought he had seen everything up until he met the protagonist! I can imagine an officer patiently waiting and listening to the explanation as to why the man was nude.
I’ve been in courtrooms before, and have heard even wilder true stories than this one, so most of it seems plausible to me.
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