Hello sandraaaa19 , how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " Concrete," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
This sounds like the ending of school days perhaps? Reflecting on all the ups and downs.
Suggestions: This line, "we all went through this all," not sure why you have written,"all," twice.
Also this line, "and ill always remember you full of grace." Ill should be I'll.
Hello woody, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your your story, " Humpty Dumpty," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I love this, it had me laughing from beginning to end. I shall never think of that nursery rhyme in the same way again!
As you like comedy, perhaps you might like to enter the
Hello little d , how are you? I hope you are enjoying your time here at WDC. I have just read your item,"Memories," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I think a lot of people suffer depression. I am not sure why or what causes it. There is usually some deep down cause I have no doubt. Some people are able to hide it better than others, it seems. It is good that you had your mother to talk to.
Suggestions: You need to put spaces between your sentences so it does look crammed together. Also perhaps if you separate in to paragraphs.
Hello Bulldozer, how are you? I hope you are enjoying your time here at WDC. I have just read your essay, "Saving Money," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
Some very sensible advice in your essay. Of course we should all try to save, no matter how little, one day it will be of good use.
You have set your essay out very well and it is well written. However, I did find you used the word acquire, rather a lot. I wonder if you could replace that with a different word in some sentences.
Hello Raneyuu, how are you? I have just read your poem, "Trust," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
You are right a lot of people do have trust issues, mostly because thye been hurt in the past. However, we cannot tar everyone with the same brush.
I enjoyed your poem.
Suggestions: I did find it a little bumpy to read as you have good rhyme but the rhythm is uneven. I think if you tighten up the syllable count, it would make a much better read.
Hello Beautiful Tragedy, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " Masterpiece," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I know it is fashionable to have tattoos now, however, I am not fond of them. Having said that, your poem makes them sound like a lovely piece of art.
Hello Feather Pen, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your story, "Yellow Umbrella," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
What a lovely little story. Isn't it amazing how doing a kind thing for someone makes us feel a lot better?
Suggestions: I would separate this in to paragraphs, it would make it better for the reader. Also you have some words like this one, "didnât" in it.
Hello s.c, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Like A Flower," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
Sad story of one who is discarded when the looks fade. If only people could see beyond all that.
Suggestions: Just my opinion, but I do find the lines a little too long for poetry, it reads more like a short story. Also always use a capital I when speaking of ones self.
Hello ~my heart is made of words~, how are you? I hope you are enjoying your time here at WDC. I have just read your poem, " Puzzle," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I like this poem, very inspirational. You are right, of course, we cannot find our pl;ace unless we create it.
Hello anne, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "The bridge Beyond," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
What a lovely poem, you have some great imagery of a place we do not know yet.
I really like this verse:
"Faces appear within a mist
Ancient, kind, and wise
'Who are you folk who greet me here?
Please, journey at my side.'
Hello Jaakuna Yasashi-sa, welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " Her," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
A very thought provoking poem. It is sad to think a lot of girls and boys go through this kind of thing and often the root causes are home life and school.
Hello Robbylove, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " Know Your True Colours," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
Nice bit of inspiration.
However,I did not understand this line,"I bust my oh my and I make it for myself," it does not seem to make sense.
Also this line: "this world it's mean never let let rub off on you." not sure what you were trying to say.
Hello Valeska, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Dark Alley," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I often wonder about homeless people and what their life was before they became homeless. It is sad that this sort of thing goes on in this day and age.
I did not understand this verse:
"They call her a user, they call her a bum
the government tries to
a place to run. The shelters
are no better than this
alley she sits in."
The sentence, "the government tries to a place to run." does not make sense, I am not sure what you were trying to say.
Also, " The shelters
are no better than this
alley she sits in."
By saying," this alley she sits in," it gives the impression that you are in the alley. It should read," the alley she sits in."
Hello Bette Lou, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem,"Beautiful Soul That Was Robin Williams," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I loved Robin as did many people and I enjoyed reading your tribute to him. Such a funny lovely man.
Hello Jenna Toler, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your item," Music Can Change The World," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I love music too. I find if I feel down, I put some lively music on and instantly feel better.
Just one suggestion: I think this would be better if separated in two or three paragraphs.
Hello Ben M, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your item," The Storyteller," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
An unusual way to describe the boys words. Bubbles, I quite like that. let us hope the, "demons," do not stop him from writing altogether.
Hello Bulldozer, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your essay," Television Informative Essay," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
I am not sure I would agree with everything you blamed television for. For example, I do not think obesity can be blamed on it. People have choices and if they choose not eat correctly and not to exercise, then will become obese whether television exists or not.
However, I do agree that violence on the television should stop.
Hello joewynne, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.I have just read your poem," I Don't Know," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
You say this is your first poem, well it is very good.
The only part I did not quite understand are these lines:
"Is forever for some?
maybe
Not for me"
Hello Choconut, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Anxiety," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
My son suffers with anxiety quite a lot, so I do understand a little. Although, I could never know the extent of it, as I do not suffer myself.
I was curious at these lines:
"I know that I am rotten
I deserve all that I get," and I wonder why people, with anxiety problems, blame themselves.
Hello Matricaria , how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Cherished Tears," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
What a beautiful poem. Although I am not religious, I can see how many would get comfort from this.
My favourite lines are these:
"Tenderly, You bind my deep wounds
soothing, crooning, “Hush child, I love you”
A lovely thought.
Sanita
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