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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/schneider
Review Requests: OFF
83 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of God is This  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your seventeen year old mind knew what it was talking about. God is the all knowing and God made everything and God knows what we are going to do each and every second of the day, so he had to create everything even those things that human believe came from their own minds. I like the randomness of the poem, makes it an interesting read. Paper clips, Starbucks, Louvre, you tube video, ha ha . Keep up the good work and keep on writing. Thanks for sharing! Victoria
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Review of Waiting on Hope  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a good poem, good choice of words and seems to flow pretty well. I think that for a suggestion I would find another word for eith the end of the first line or the second. "thinks it" in a row. Besides that I think it demonstrates pretty good writting. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work. Keep on writing. Victoria
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Review of Limerick: Clare  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (5.0)
AHH you are to much..he he. Thye ideas you come up with are outrageous, to comical. I bet where your from people just love hearing your limericks. you really should do something with your limericks, Put them as a collection or something and try and get them published, if you haven't already. Well I will have to keep an eye on what you write, I like a good laugh every once in a while. Take care, keep on writing, and thanks for sharing. victoria
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Review of Broken Glass  
Review by Victoria
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is really good but sad, sounds like depression. Just wondering why you wanted some of the lines red, they significant?
She empties herself
Of everything of worth
And leaves with what she has
She repairs her wounded hand

why does she empty herself of everything of worth, I would think she would keep that? Mabe I'm not taking it right. But the poem is still good, keep writng and thanks for sharing.. Victoria
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Review by Victoria
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
That is to funny he he , That sure would be something.Give the man a reward ! ha! A simple poem that may be shocking for some, not me, I like the humor in it. Very creative. I like the randomness of this poem, a plane, inseminate, girl, upside down. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed it, and keep writing, I'll have to see what you come up with next. Victoria
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Review of Understanding  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (3.0)
I understand where you are going with this, I think. I would add in some explainations, why is she feeling this hurt, well we know a little but not enough. She wants to explain, so have her explain. Why won't he understand, even though his feelings toward her is different then what hers are. Nicely worded, just need more description. Thanks for sharing. Victoria.
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Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a nice poem that flow pretty well. Describes the seasons in a cheery way.
Where the brilliant sun casts its light

Even the snow seems warm and bright.

I like that part and this one:
To steal our warmth and chase us inside

Where by the fire we choose to reside

You did a good job, thanks for sharing. Keep writing Victoria
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Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a cute story and I'm sure would grab a childs attention. With a little more work I think it would be great, the first part moves well, but toward the end it doesn't. I would consider taking that last line out and find something more catchy. Great imagination on an idea for a story, thanks for sharing and keep writing. Victoria
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Review of make a wish  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow! What an imagination. This poem is very creative, I like it. Blue m&m a broken mirror glued to a ceiling, eyelashes on a cheek and a certain time of the day. What random objects..he he he . Those random things are what makes a poem or story interesting. It makes people want to read it. Some of the best works I've read had random things included. Keep up the good work, you are onto something. Keep writing. Victoria.
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Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.0)
D.J.
I really like this, might want to spell check though. I got a really good picture of the characters, they seemed real and truthful. This was a very sweet story and inocent to. I'm sure those are the kind of guys most girls find attractive. It was beautifully written you did a great Job. Keep up the good work and keep writing. Victoria
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Review of LOVE'S SIN  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.0)
Oh wow! This made me laugh the poor one weakness of men for sure. very well put together, great word use. loved the part about the mandrake root and wolfsbane. To funny. Keep up the good work, will be looking for more. Victoria
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Review of MOTHER  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! I love it! Great use of words. You are a poet in the greatest sense. I wouldn't change a thing to this poem ...ever. This was writen from the heart.


I love this part...

'Twas me who learned my most sacred utter...
'Twas when I learned to call her Mother.

and this..

The Angels' dance in skies above
A joyful paean to her love

Great Job! keep up the good work!! Victoria
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Review of Thunderstorm  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really like this. You did a very good job at writing it. It is expressed in a most vivid way. lots of imagery. you used great dealof detail as in a story. very capturing. Good work. Victoria
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Review of $1.25  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is good. Has great meaning. I suggest you try this poem out in rhyme, just to see how it sound. Some of those ending words you used would work perfect with another word that rhymes with it. Good job overall. Victoria
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Review of Rain  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love it, you made rain out to be passionate. I loved your choice of words. I always liked poems that didn't rhyme better then the ones that do. You did a good job. Simple title works well. Keep up the good work. Victoria
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Review by Victoria
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I'm curious to what this novel is about. The title kind of grabs you and the prologue makes you wonder. I'll look out for the chapter. keep writing. nice job. Victoria
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Review of Mahogany  
Review by Victoria
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
THis is different, I like it. Where does this tradition come from? Just wondering. You did a good job, and I love the title. keep on writing. Thanks for sharing. Victoria
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Review of Her in Me  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting title, it is true that we daughters seem to always possess traits of our mother. You used the four "M" words I call it. Strengh, courage, loyalty, passion and love.. mother traits. You did a good job, keep up the good work and keep writing. Victoria
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Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! This is so emotional and I know you wrote it from the heart. I wanted to cry. I love the way the poem flows with those magical words you used. You are talented, keep up the great work. Thank you for sharing. Victoria
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Review of Woodland Fairy  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is really cute, flows pretty well and has a very colorful picture. Good title! This would make a cute childrens book if you could add some more lines. Thanks for sharing. Victoria
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Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is good, suggestion: you might want to leave some foot notes at the bottom like traditions, places people are not familar with..etc. This is a very cultural and meaningful poem that describes how someone feels in that society. Again good job. victoria
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Review of The Haunted Trail  
Review by Victoria
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Good job, short, sweet, easy to read and imagine. suggestion, add more detail, makes things a little more frightning. victoria
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Review of The Formula  
Review by Victoria
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I like this because it deals with an issue that is still in play for todays society. It takes a person who knows what it is like to describe it. You might want to write a short story about it, I'm sure you would get some great reviews..victoria
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Review of Roses in Heaven  
Review by Victoria
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is great! So emotional, enough to choke anyone up...this writing came from the heart! Good Job! Victoria
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Review of Red Confusion  
Review by Victoria
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is really good, you kept my attention. I was just wondering why Eli knew who his wife was and himself at the beginning, and then he seemed a little bit confused having to look in the mirror, and the man who was his first patient that died, why was he showing his face? You might want to describe some things a little bit furthur, slow it down just a bit. Good work!
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