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Review Requests: ON
1,230 Public Reviews Given
2,213 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I used a template for all of my reviews. I will comment on plot, characters, scene/setting, grammar, and anything else that comes to mind.
I'm good at...
short stories, novels, and blog
Favorite Genres
dark fantasy and horror However, I will read anything that is similar to a VC Andrews story. I also like any books about cooking.
Least Favorite Genres
romance, comedy, mystery, science fiction
Favorite Item Types
short stories, novels, blogs, anything about cooking
Least Favorite Item Types
poetry, campfires
I will not review...
Romance, action-adventure, mysteries/thiller, science fiction
Public Reviews
Previous ... 9 10 11 12 -13- ... Next
301
301
Review by very thankful
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is such a cute poem. The rhyme is perfect, and the flow is good too. I like your use of metaphors. I loved the line, "Put peanut butter in your shoe Pandemonium widespread". I also liked the reference to the haunted house. The dirt in tea, oh yuck, but I could picture in a naughty child doing this.
Thanks for sharing and good job! Write on!

Sister of Mercy
302
302
Review of Bouquets  
Review by very thankful
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading your prose about gardens. I like the way you write about beauty, and I agree with what you write. I do have one suggestion. In the third paragraph, gaden should be garden. I really liked the first sentence in the last paragraph. It has a lot of meaning in it.
Thanks for sharing this and good job! Write on!

Sister of Mercy
303
303
Review by very thankful
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thank you for entering the Best Chapter contest.

Suggestions
1. Edit for punctuation (mostly commas).
2. Make sure the readers knows who is speaking during the conversation with the crone sisters.
3. Write in the past tense.

Overall
This is an interesting prologue. The ending makes a reader want to know more.
304
304
Review by very thankful
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Thank you for entering the Best Chapter contest.

Suggestions
1. Edit for punctuation {only a few errors}.
2. Dialogue should be in its own disinct paragraph.

Overall
This prologue was breathtakingly. Readers will definetly be able to picture the events in their minds. This is a great blend of the fantasy and horror genres.

Sister of Mercy
305
305
Review of Prologue to WIP  
Review by very thankful
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for entering the Best Chapter contest.

Suggestions
1. Edit for comma errors.
2. Only use contractions in dialogue.
3. Do not start a sentence with a conjunction.

Overall
I like the mystery of this prologue. I also liked the way it ended. It makes the reader want to know what happens next. I could also picture the events in my mind.

Sister of Mercy
306
306
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Thank you for requesting a review from Sister of Mercy's Reviews.

Suggestions
1. Only use contractions in dialogue.
2. Do not start a sentence with a conjunction.
3. Edit for comma errors.
4. Drop the e in blond.
5. Drop the hypens for the most part.

Comments for chapter one
I am very interested in what the Academy is like. The characters Calixte and Eunae interest me.

Comments for chapter two
I like the new character, Kasity. I am wanting to know what happens to her.

Comments for chapter three
I definetly love Kasity. I cannot stand Adely. She does make a good bratty character and reminds me of a female Draco Malfroy from Harry Potter.

Comments for chapter four
I simply love Kasity. It was interesting to learn about the other clouds.

Comments for chapter five
I am really starting to love Calixte too. I really like reading about the Academy. A reader would definetly like to read more.

Comments for chapter six
The members of the council were not so nice to Kasity. I am very curious about the divisions in the cloud. I believe any reader would be.

Comments for chapter seven and eight
The action is great. Readers will love this.

Comments for chapters nine and ten
This rivalry reminds me of Griffendor and Slitheren. Your story reminds me of a female version of Harry Potter.

I would love to read more as you write more chapters.

Sister of Mercy
307
307
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you for entering my best chapter contest. I wish you good luck.

Suggestions
1. You only need to edit for comma errors.

Overall
This is an action packed chapter that would keep any reader interested in wanting to read more! Your main character shines right away!

Sister of Mercy
308
308
Review of LUSUS NATURAE  
Review by very thankful
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thank you for entering my best chapter contest. I wish you good luck.

Suggestions
1. Combine small paragraphs together.
2. Editing for comma errors and typos.
3. Only use contractions in dialogue.
4. Do not start a sentence with a conjunction.

Overall
The chapter has an interesting end to it making the reader want to know what happens next. I would suggest letting the reader know the name of the main character.

Sister of Mercy
309
309
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Thank you for entering my best chapter contest. I wish you good luck with your entry.

Suggestions
1. Edit for comma errors.
2. Do not start a sentence with a conjunction.
3. Some of the paragraphs should be combined.
4. I think the reader needs to know that William and
Latherine were married earlier in the prologue.

Overall
The prologue did hold my interest. The ending was good because it left me wondering what happened to the baby.

Sister of Mercy
310
310
Review by very thankful
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
You did a good job with this poem. The flow and rhyme of this poem is good. The questions at the beginning are ones that are asked time and time again. I have asked those myself many times. I like the imagery in the last stanza. Thanks for sharing this and good job! Write on!

Sister of Mercy
311
311
Review by very thankful
Rated: E | (4.0)
It was my pleasure to review your poem.

Suggestion
1. In the first line of the third stanza, drop the word "but".

Overall
The poem has a good story. This poem shows how special Christmas is. The flow is this poem is good.

Thank you for requesting a review from my forum.

Sister of Mercy
312
312
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
It was my pleasure to review your story.

Suggestions
1. Only use contractions in dialogue.
2. In the last sentence of the third paragraph, a comma is needed after world.
3. There are a few places where you use a lower case i when it should be an upper case I.
4. In the seventh paragraph, commas are needed after meek and aged.
5. In the tenth paragraph, the first letter in the sentence needs to be capitalized.
6. In the eleventh paragraph, remove the words "and then".
7. In the twelth paragraph, remove the comma after bottle.
8. In the last paragraph, a comma is needed after shelves.

Overall
I liked how you used the sense of smell to remind you of someone. This story was quite moving.

Thank you for requesting a review from my forum.

Sister of Mercy
313
313
Review of inspired  
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
It was my pleasure to review your story.

Suggestions
1. Only use contractions in dialogue.
2. In paragraph one, monarch does not need to be capitalized, and the parentheses should be removed.
3. In the fourth paragraph, a comma is needed after soft not a semicolon.
4. In the fifth paragraph, "my skin in sensitive" should be "my skin is sensitive". In that same sentence, a comma is needed after visitors.
5. In the last paragraph, her does not need to be capitalized.

Overall
I found your telling of a dream quite fasinating. Your story was erotic and tasteful.

Thank you for requesting a review at my forum.

Sister of Mercy
314
314
Review of Chapter 4 - Trapt  
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
It was my pleasure to review this chapter for you.

Suggestions
1. Only use contractions in dialogue.
2. Write out the word pounds.
3. In the eighteenth paragraph, a comma is needed after crappy.
4. In the twenth paragraph, a comma is needed after basic.

Overall
I am very interested in what happened to Earth and how Wayne got there. I would love to read more.

Thank you for requesting a review from my forum.

Sister of Mercy
315
315
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
It was my pleasure to review this chapter for you.

Suggestions
1. Only use contractions in dialogue.
2. Take out (my heroine perhaps?) in the first paragraph.
3. In the third paragraph, your should be you're or you are.
4. In the sixth paragraph, "this" should not be in all caps.
5. In the seventh paragraph, a comma is not needed after the first "and" in the last sentence.
6. In the twelth paragraph, a comman is needed after disguise.

Overall,
The suspense is mounting slowly. I am wondering what is standing at the door.

Thank you for requesting a review at my forum.

Sister of Mercy
316
316
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It was my pleasure to review this chapter for you.

Suggestions
1. In the second paragraph, you need a comma after dark.
2. In the last paragraph, you need a comma after crummy.

Overall
This chapter peaked my interest. I am wondering how he got on the moon. I am looking forward to reading more.

Thank you for requesting a review on my forum.

Sister of Mercy
317
317
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
It has been my pleasure to review this chapter.

Suggestions
1. Only use contractions in dialogue.
2. In paragraph one, the second sentence should read, "I am in a car and driving."
3. In paragraph three, sentences three and four should be combined like this, "It is extremely long." and "Miles long" should be dropped.
4. The last sentence of the chapter should be "I hear the click of an .............. instead of ckk-ck.

This is an unusual beginning of a novel, since this is only the beginning I will not review plot until I read more of the story. The way the chapter ended made me curious to find out what happens next.

Thank you for requesting a review at my forum.

Sister of Mercy
318
318
Review by very thankful
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
It was my pleasure to review your story.

Suggestions:
1. Only use contractions in dialogue.
2. Write out numbers under one hundred.
3. Write out the word pounds.
4. Do not start a sentence with a conjunction.
5. Never use "that there" in writing.
6. In paragraph twenty-eight, both of is not neccessary when referring to parents.
7. Use spell check to eliminate spelling mistakes and some typos.
8. Write out the word number.
9. In paragraph forty-five, you repeat Billy too much, use he to refer to him.

Overall
This was an interesting look at meeting someone and learning about something new.

Thank you for requesting a review in my forum.

Sister of Mercy
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