I know I shouldn't do this after I the e-mail about my edit but your last line a thought came to me. Use it if you like? [The obstacles in the road] other than that I wouldn't change a thing. Another nice job. Keep up the nice work!
A heart wrenching piece and truly a memorial to a tragic loss. This is above review and says it all. Thanks for writing this one as it needed to be written.
Very thought provoking piece with excellent word play. Especially like the very first line and wish it was a longer piece. Yah, I know I write some short ones too! Nice job Viv and keep up the nice work.
There's a very important message here and I hope more people take the time to read this. A very, very well written piece about a great man and the sadness of his passing. The important message is that we all can learn from him what true family values and what it means to practice these values in our everyday lives. Thanks for a memorable story about a man that I believe the world could have listened a little closer too.
Nicely put and isn't it the truth. Good job and well written piece. I've had some experience with putting on a game face at work and it isn't always easy to do.
Loved this poem and the wonderful imagery. Did notice one small typo, I think? did you mean [which will fill] instead of [fills] in the second line last stanza. I know I hate not to catch something like that in one of mine.
There's a lot of deep thought going on here and it was a wonderful piece on all that the city is and who makes it what it is. Thanks for a well written poem.
Hey! Nice work Blue Thunder and I see you like to rhyme too when you can. Most of my poems rhyme and I get the feeling that it's not the norm but I keep doing it anyway. Especially like the true native American feel of the piece. Keep up the nice work and I'll stop in again some time.
Thought this was good but noticed a typo in the last line of #6 stanza. something about the rhythm had me going but then I thought maybe a lyric format would fit this piece better, just a thought.
This is beautiful and ranks in my opnion right there with the greats. I appreciate all the help and remarks you've so graciously given on my work and felt I should look at yours. Very nice and am humbled by a master at his craft. Thanks for sharing this with us out here.
I loved this and it shows an unlimited and boundless supply of beautiful thoughts interwoven with a great imagery. Very, very nice work I'll be visiting more of your port again. You're the second person who's reviewed something of mine and made me look at my writing and wonder if I'm wasting my time and that of others.
I can see clearly now that the title better befits your wonderful poem than mine and I humbly submit.
Thanks for a very nice poem and especially [love's other name] nice line!
I know what I just told you about the poem you reviewed of mine and now here I go with something similar. This is very good and when I got to the end I couldn't help think maybe just a little different play on words would help it even more. Mind you this is just my suggestion and you don't need to pay it any mind if you don't want to. Here goes and let me know if it's anything you'd use cause like you I love to help if I can.
So in love's sweet surrender her
eyes are moistened by her tears.
Now what she really needs is
his kisses to last for years.
Just thoughts of mine about a beautifully written poem
this is very good and I can see why they gave you preferred status. Just one suggestion in the second stanza, fifth line [ leave THE out of the line] I think it sounds better that way but it's just my suggestion.
Beautifully written piece on what we can imagine in the mirror if we care to look close. I'm gettin there myself and have come to realize that no one escapes it. Thanks for a fine piece of poetry.
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