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145 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This was cute. I liked this very much. Only thing was a few of the words that distracted me from reading. such as disquiet. Words such as that that made me stop and reread. Other than that. Great job here. Love the story, sad sad ending. But comical at the same. well done.

Dawn
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52
Review of Thick and Thin  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is really sweet. You have a great friend. The rhyme on here stays good until the very last stanza. It hurts this peice. i know its the way you feel, but if you clean this up and stay consitant, this will be amazing.

Dawn


Keep writing, you have a good start here.
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Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is such a great read, as I sent in the e-mail this reminds me of each night. I sour, alone, no children to teach, no one to answer for other than me. i write, I let my imagination flow. I write truths but fiction more. I loved this again

Thank you,

Great read
Dawn
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Review of Bleeding Heart  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is really good. I see the meaning behind your words, suddly expressing the same. This is really a good read. Thank you for sharing this.

Dawn
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55
Review of The Lost Child  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is such a great story, it says so much about who you are and the needs you had that were pushed aside to make a little girls time with you happy. That is very selfless. I admire that so much, but no matter what the mom did to try to cause a rip, she was only causing the rip between her and your daughter. Wonderful thing. Children are not stupid, they know who loves them, and if she loved her daughter, she would have never have asked her to chose. I hope you gave this to your daughter, she would love this so much, it would help her understand you so much better. Kudo's to this, as a mom, who has given everything up just for my kids, to always show them love, respect and understanding. To allow them to love others, and to never deny their feelings. Kudo's to this.

Wonderful read. Tears swelled in my eyes.

Dawn
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Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a greatr story. i love the way you incorporated the time of day with mother nature. I lovrd thid part.
Hide and Seek seemed to be the game of choice -- or was it Tag? I saw her smile brightly before ducking behind a cloud. I searched the sky but after a while decided she'd gone. Only when I turned my back did she reach out with shimmering beams to touch my shoulder and say, "You're it!"

It is playful, funny and your style of writing kept me going. I wanted to get to the end. I wanted to see how clever you would end the day. Diamonds? I really like that. Great read.
Dawn
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57
Review of Editor's Note #1  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is so funny and the sad thing is I remember the earlier commercials. Sigh... I loved your spin on making this commercial it is almost as silly as the mediteranian butter. who is going to swim across a channel to get butter for their bread? Poeple are to lazy for that. I laugh every time I see it. I agree this your insight into this and the late night shows that have you spelling nite instead of night. That'why I live in this site, to avoid it now.

Great read

Dawn
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Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very touching poem, but it is so true. Poeple do not look at what they do not wnt their eyes to see. Wonderful point made here.

One fix missing word

Heaven sent (a)fallen angel.

This will make it read an avoid distractions away from the true meaning you are pointing out.

Keep writing

Dawn
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Review of Too Young  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is very emotional and sad. I have seen through the years such waist of life taken. Ones that did not have a chance to so know who they are, to find themselves, then those whom never had a chance from the beginning. Then those cut in their prime that was just reaching their goals, but was still to young to go. This touches all I have seen and anyone who reads this can relate. Kudo's on this peice.

Keep writing
Dawn
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Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a great poem, easy to read and flows so wonderfully. Each line give the reader hope, anyone with a life long friend can relate and for those who do not know, it could offer hope. Great read

Dawn
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Review of A Maiden Strong  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thias is a wonderful spin off from your last peice. I love this. If you are thinking about making a theme/book with this. This would work, great read.

Dawn
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Review of A Knights Tirade  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is really good. it shows what one will do for love. This peice flows and the rythim matches so well. Good job on this peice. I would not change it.

Dawn

p/s

I would have gottenm around to this sooner as promised, but I have had so much going on, and some personal battles I have been conquering.

Read {bitm:1243608} and you will understand.
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Review of Empty Shell  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is good, I would dump "From the rest of the world." It takes from your poem. This peice is great, but without that it would say it, it would be so much better. sometimes too much is just that.
Dawn
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Review of Goodbye  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
This is so sad. How many people really feel the same. It seams people we do not know are eager to be a part, where family take it for grantid. Good flow of feelings. One this you have a mixture of rhyme with prose. this may have been what you wanted, what you planned. Your first stanza is the only one that rhymes. I read it twice to feel the meaning. May want to rhyme in everyother stanza to keep it equal in a scence.

Good read, I really liked it.

Dawn
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Review of Just Friends  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Bravo, this is short direct to the point and offers so much feeling. poems like this makes the reader remember when they had a crush that they would not tell. To want someone, to hold it, to never share those feelings. Amazing how you said in a few short lines what so many people feel.

Good write

Dawn
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Review of Dancing Alone  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so sweet and sad all at the same time. You show the emotion of hope so well when he/she looks in he/she eyes. then you manuver to the confussion/sadness that is a part of this lonely soul, and then bring it back to hope. This is one fine poem. Rear on this site to read. Good job I would like to see more like these.
Dawn
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Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is an insite to your soul. Good job with it.
One suggestion though.


Because I feel to be so free- would read better

Because I feel the need to be free.

You did a great job with this. It shows your frustration with life. Very impacting. There are so many poeple that feel the way you do.
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Review of Trying to be Real  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a strong peice it tells a story yet gives insite to so much wrong.

Good peice
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Review of In search of Iris  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is so well written and yes you are right. To read quickly you would think it was a girl in the field but the reality is this is a flower.

This is such a sweet poem, rear from what I have read in a while. It has a metaphore do well disguised.

Great read. Keep writing.

Dawn
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Review of Amanda  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a sweet poem. It expresses so well and says so much for such a short poem. I like this part the most..This strange and flawed beauty that only we know is there.

I am writing a book based on this feeling. A feeling that only her and I knew. Very well writen, it broughtback a sweet memory.

Dawn
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Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful essay and I hope you get an A+ on this. The world ever changing still has the few people who are what I use the term "closeted" These people are so afraid of what they do no understand that they rather hate it than take the time to know it. You have to admitt that times have changed, what was considered bad yesterday is acceptable today. Gay marriage ban will one day be part of our past and people will accept it as they do many other things. It is the youth of today that will change tomorrow.

Copied here is a poem I wrote about this subject.

It is said...
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
What is beauty?
What is the on looker looking at,
the cloths we wear?
The shape of a person’s body?
The smiles that creep across a person’s face?
Is it no longer the kind things we do?
Is it no longer how a person makes you feel?
Or is beauty meant for any one race?
Anyone religion?
Any one faith?
Does beauty reflect ones gender?
One's beliefs?
One's lifestyle?
Does beauty have a gender orientation?
Does beauty matter who you are with?
Does beauty care if you are a boy or a girl?
If your partner is of the same sex?
Does beauty matter to anyone any more?
Or is beauty who you are?
Who you know?
How do you see the beauty in a person?
When all you see is the package.
A Label?
Is beauty a person’s life style?
The person’s outer appearance?
If beauty reflects a persons heart?
Then why aren’t all people beautiful?
Then why do we judge?
The answer is right before you.
We believe what we perceive.
But we are all beautiful whether you believe.


Hope you like this and again great job on this
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Review of Lesbian Life  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: GC | (5.0)
This is awesome, i played, Oh my god I must be bord. Sad life on a friday night.

Dawn
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Review of what is truth?  
Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is perfect. It has so much feeling, very powerful. Death to me is only the beginning of a life thereafter, so to look at it with such wide eyes and know it should not be feared was done so well here. I just called my friend Shawn who has started to take med regiments since his count has changed and he liked it so much. He said it gave him peice as I read it to him.

Thank you for this. Wonderful poem.

Dawn
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Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a good peice. It reads very well and the climax hits at the right point. I like the way it started off as a nightmare, but the reality was a dream of beauty that made it so bad. Like a tormented soul who has lost the love of his or her life.

Well written

Dawn
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Review by LuciDreamer
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
THis is a nice poem. I like the way you used the dusk and dawn- The battle between the two and ended it with lovers. It sends a message and much can be read from this. Great read. A`Wonderful differet approuch.

Dawn
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