This is a fabulous write. I enjoyed it immensely, although I am sure many would find it a little dark. But that said, you have lots of talent and I appreciate your sharing this little sliver of that with us.
I enjoyed this poem. It is exceptionally well written, and speaks to the subject in a whole new way.....that of being our own downfall. I loved it! Well done.
Good luck with Round 11 of Kansaspoet's Poetry Contest. As guest judge for this round, I've thoroughly enjoyed the abundance of talent displayed.
I enjoyed this poem and the story you weave with the words. The rhyme was not overly forced except perhaps in the last stanza, and that is an accomplishment in itself. Well done.
Good luck with Round 11 of Kansaspoet's Poetry Contest. As guest judge for this round, I've thoroughly enjoyed the abundance of talent displayed.
Thanks for this very interesting submission for Round 11 of Kansaspoet's Poetry Contest.
I'm fairly certain I've never seen this form used, and must say I was intrigued by it long before I got the explanation. You've done much better than I could with such constriction.
Excellent work. Keep writing and good luck with the contest. As guest judge for this round, I am delighted to find so many good entries.
Thank you so much for your entry for Kansaspoet's Poetry Contest, Round 11.
I enjoyed this immensely. Very well done. I particularly liked your choice for the first and last line.....
Very nice flow and true to the form used for this round. Good luck and keep writing. I'm honored to be a guest judge for this round, and appreciate your lovely submission for review.
Thank you so much for your entry for Kansaspoet's Poetry Contest, Round 11.
I enjoyed this piece, although my only comment would be that it could be a little longer. But with a few words, you've painted a vivid picture of the strength that two people can create together (beyond any they know separately). Well done.
Good luck and keep writing. I'm honored to be a guest judge for this round, and appreciate your lovely submission for review.
Thank you so much for your entry for the Kansaspoet Poetry Contest, Round 11.
I truly enjoyed this piece, and it reminded me of pearls that my grandmother had at one time that were given to her by a sister. My grandmother claimed the sister got them from some boyfriend she was cheating with....and dubbed them 'cheater's pearls'. It was a story that stuck with those pearls long after my grandmother died.
Very nice flow and true to the form used for this round. Good luck and keep writing. I'm honored to be a guest judge for this round, and appreciate your lovely submission for review.
I enjoyed reading this piece, and am glad to see it posted for this round of Kanaspoet's Poetry Contest.
You've done a good job with staying true to form with this piece, although the subject matter is a little dark for my personal taste. For that reason, I struggled with it a little. Otherwise, it was nice write.
Thanks for posting and good luck with this Round. I am honored to be guest judge and to have had this opportunity to read your words.
I enjoyed reading this piece immensely and am glad to see it posted for this round of Kanaspoet's Poetry Contest.
You've done a good job with this form in creating a vision of dancing gypsies.......swirling colors. Very well done without forcing the rhyme for the form.
Thanks for posting and good luck with this Round. I am honored to be guest judge and to have had this opportunity to read your words.
Thank you so much for sharing this as an entry for Larry's contest.
I enjoyed reading piece of prose, and the message is one of timeless grace and wisdom. If we are truly to be a gift back to the Father, we must be ourselves with the gifts we were given by Him.
This flowed well and I am glad I had a chance to review it.
Thank you for your entry. I am honored to have the chance to review for this month's competition.
Thank you so much for sharing this as an entry for Larry's contest.
I enjoyed reading this very nicely written poem. Although I tend to shy away from forms because so many seem to be 'forced', this was an exception and I enjoyed it very much. It speaks of a bittersweet acceptance of friendship or love lost.
Very well done.
Thank you for your entry. I am honored to have the chance to review for this month's competition.
Thank you so much for sharing this as an entry for Kansaspoet's Poetry Contest.
It's nothing less than exceptional work, and the message is soft with thanks and love....of grace found at a point when you thought all such extravagance was past.
I noticed one typo in the first stanza. The word is 'giving'......one that I have no doubt you're very familiar with.
As always, your work inspires me....and I am delighted to have the chance to review for this month's competition.
This is a wonderful write, and a great tribute to such a wonderful woman and friend. Knowing Sherri, I am sure this brought her great joy....as it should .
Thank you for sharing and good luck with this entry for the Shining Stars competition.
This is very well done, my friend, and your words pay honor to those who fought and fell for your country. There is no greater place for words than in paying respect for those who have paid the ultimate price so that we would be free and at peace.
Very well done...thanks for sharing as part of the Shining Stars competition for April. Good luck.
This is very well done, and I found the addition of the story to the prose to be very complimentary on both counts. Although the subject is one that is a little depressing, it is realistic in its hopelessness.
Very well done...thanks for sharing as part of the Shining Stars competition for April. Good luck.
I enjoyed this article. So many would become discouraged and give up something they love rather than find a way to make it work......rather than find a way to remain sane and still enjoy themselves.
You make a very good point about writing. You must write because you love it. And you must write about what you know. Perfect.
Thank you for submitting this for review in the Shining Star contest. Good luck.
I enjoyed this writing and found much of I can relate to. More than anything, I believe it speaks to the history of a person that lives within them...that pushes them to choose and decide, and to react. We don't get just what we see. We get the whole messy/pretty package.
Other than some corrections you need to make as it relates to the use of apostrophe(s), I saw no major errors. If you cut and paste this into a word processing program, it should tell you where corrections are needed to show possessive tense. If you don't have access to that, let me know and I'll send you the details on changes I would recommend.
Thanks for this write and welcome to WDC. If there is anything at all I can do to assist you, let me know. Thanks again.
I enjoyed this work very much. I see the deeper meaning to these words, the desire to put an end to destructive behavior.....to make a different choice, even it requires 'relearning' what comes naturally.
Very good work. Thanks for sharing and welcome to WDC. I'm delighted you've decided to grace us with your words and your presence. Let me know if I can do anything at all to assist you.
This is an exceptional piece of poetry. You've done a wonderful job of describing the simple joy that comes in loving someone, and in allowing yourself to be loved in return. I commend you on this fine work.
Good luck with the Shining Stars contest, my friend.
This is a well conceived work of words, a prayer for strength and guidance, a reassurance of peace beyond the turmoil.
Here are a few recommended corrections to this otherwise extraordinary work:
Be steal o you soul of mine, be steal. (steal should be still in both cases)
And it’s pleasures or only temporary. {should be 'its are')
Lead me not astray from the words of the lord. {lord should be capitalized as 'Lord')
So the heaven’s can bottle them up. {should be 'heavens')
For Tomorrow they’ll be the wine we drink, that will bring us joy. {tomorrow should not be capitalized)
Or Dive into the sea if you chose. (dive should not be capatalized)
Be steal of you soul of mine, be steal. (steal should be 'still' in both instances)
Welcome to WDC. May you find a home for your words here, and enjoy all the resources that have been put here for that purpose. Should you ever need assistance, please do not hesitate to call on me.
These words remind me of a prayer...reassurance of a high place of respect and holy honor. Very good work.
Welcome to WDC. May you find encouragement for your words, and a home for your gifts. If there is anything I can to assist you, please don't hesitate to ask.
Always,
Tornado
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