As always it is a pleasure to read your poetry, rhymed or free verse.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on having completed yet another year at the WDC. Have a lovely day.
Cyclone is a great metaphor for a person's turbulent state of mind in the aftermath of death and loss. The specter of loneliness and pain of missing a dear one is aptly compared to the raging cyclone.
"It's all about horrid death."
Mental peace is in a shambles and the physical state is beyond redemption at least for as long as the cyclone continues its deathly dance.
"leaving me stunned and undone.
Thoughts of you left me craze."
The misery of loss and missing of a loved one have to subside by itself like the cyclone ends its disastrous impact.
Rhyme and rhythm are splendid. Word choices and imagery are apt for the chosen topic.
It is an incredibly interesting story. It has several themes to it.
The daughter's question-
It is the daughter who launches the search for her mother's past life. So we plunge along with her into the labyrinths of the past.
Her father has nothing to say except losing temper when the past is raked by his daughter. The readers get more curious as to the kind of character the mother was.
The girl's saga to finally reach the truth about her mother took her through many turns and twists before landing at the address given by Lydia who knew the past of Carol Ann, the girl's mom.
Here the tragedy begins. Her search for truth took the life of Andy.
Carol Ann's story is one of impossible love.
I think it is a story that certainly warns those who try to uncover past out of curiosity and an unstoppable desire to "know". It is better to let bygones be bygones.
A very sensitive of poem on love that was. Yet, it lives in memories. But alas, those memories have a way of being erased by time, the tyrant.
Of once having
The state from loving company to complete loneliness is well shown in this free style poem. The format speaks of the confused consciousness and the struggle to get back to life.
Fingers running through hair. This figure is well exploited to show the difference between now and then. Change happens in a second but adjusting to change takes forever.
Imagery is visual and sadness carried through clear and sharp.
It flows well.
Dragon James did the right thing at the right time.
A child's point of view of his father is well presented in this free style poem.
Dad is hero to many of us and we do take pride in emulating him for as long as possible.
Yet, time erodes that idealism somewhere along the line of life to plunge us into the depths of harsh realities.
"his dad became
a mortal man
not so smart
and not so strong
and not so perfect
However, impressions made at a tender age last longer than we expect and Dragon James is no exception to that observation. Now he has to wear his dad's shoes and it is only appropriate that he orders "poached eggs and corned beef hash."
That's wonderful Nick. You told a real good story that effortlessly pulled me along all the way to the end. So this is what happens at the gambling place. Good that you noticed how you have been losing money while others took advantage of your skill at throwing darts.
The wind changed the moment it dawned on you that you yourself could be the lord of the ring. Great.
"... after that night most Thursday’s ended up with me taking them on for money and me usually coming off best."
Told in a conversational style, the story gives good visuals of the bar near the Catholic club. Descriptive passages are interesting.
Shock at the unexpected death of a friend is well expressed here in this poem with mono-rhyme. No wonder that life is described as a drama and men and women, mere actors. We act our part and depart forever. Another universal truth no doubt.
However, certain kind of shocks can stun to the extent that it takes time to come over it like the death of Kim.
"Just last week we took a walk
By the beach"
and in another week she lay in a "coffin."
What can be more unbelievable?
Indeed, we should cherish friends and dear ones while we can.
Active brain that goes restless is shown here. Like a lake where the water is ever in endless gyres, her brain has thoughts that never stop rotating. Brain is an independent organ. It has a will of its own.
"I beg it to stop, but the whispers keep coming."
They can worry us to no end. Unless we either check the thinking or diverting it from one thought to another it keeps slamming back.
The torture is clear. A never ending hell. Sleep is disturbed. A frightening situation.
Free style poem appeals with its structure and descending order of the lines.
Simple cruel facts well expressed.
A lovely confessional kind of poem. once bitten twice shy? I understand the fear and hesitation to dare again. Imagery shows the hesitation born out of disillusion in the past. But there is nothing like getting away from attraction or instant love. It may sometimes lasts longer, no one can say.
"So I stand afar, where I know it’s safe'
Poem has allusion to Brutus. Comparing love to Brutus? But Brutus had different motives, mostly political.
It flows well with well chosen words and rhyme and rhythm.
True reflections of love and passion.
Delicate expression of a delicate situation.
Imagery brings out the romance under the old oak.
"under oak and in the imprint of leaves
on the back of your thighs."
Words and word pictures paint the passion in a pleasing way.
sensory and sensuous.
This poem strikes me as one written while observing various situations including your own. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being an excellent writer at the WDC. Have a great day.
The verses make me think of life and its quirky ways. A person's condition as the body is in the process of slowly shutting down. Surprisingly, mind is sharp and alert to the outside events.
at the black edge of my consciousness."
Your reflections on life and its futility finally, are the essence of experience and sharp intake of what is happening around and the thoughts thereof.
There is a cold contempt in observations.
The first two stanzas are devoted to self and others respectively.
From the third stanza onwards you talk about your opinions about body and mind. while one decays, the other is surprisingly sharp.
Children are so resilient and hardly know what sadness could be. But this little child, torn between separated mom and dad surely suffers because he would definitely want both of them in his life. yet, for various reasons things are not easy for all kids.
You have shown us that both parents love the child and spend as much time as possible with him.
The father's condition is almost serious as he has been suffering from a terminal illness.
you raise some curious questions about dreams, the new and old me and God in that order. They are thinking questions not mere surmises.
My review of this free verse is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations! Have a great day!
Dreams and the stuff with which they are made melt away if we naturally evolve being realists. That would open our eyes about the truth about dreams and self and God too.
You are right about the fact that there is but one reality, the reality of God and nothing else besides. Dreams dissolve, only He remains.
you are lucky to have a brook behind your house and that you listen to its voice perhaps everyday. Your detailed description of the brook's adventurous meanderings has me in thrall. I am sure it inspires pleasant contemplation besides creating delightful verses like you did.
"Where the sky is so blue
And the grass ever green"
This poem has remarkable visual images including those of nature and the world of man. The brook covered ups and downs as it passes through various levels of land. It is like the river of human life going through a variety of experiences.
reflections on nature are spellbinding. Each word picture you created is beautifully visualized by me. I can see what you mean when you felt that people should take time to listen to the music of nature instead of the blast of raucous sound and the mad dancing that goes with it.
You are right in saying that we should spend more time outdoors enjoying the various colors and quality life created for us.
"the sun on flowers and at rainbows arcing over a yard sprinkler and experience that sweet shiver of pleasure of all the things man did not create."
I cannot agree more. I feel the blue of the sky soothing to my sight and the touch of wind is pleasant to my mind.
I do feel like speaking to trees and flowers.
In fact nature wipes away fears of any kind like fear of regression etc.
I enjoyed this little vignette full of visual imagery.
this piece of nonfiction is a proof of your love and affection for the family. Christmas gathering at home is a great reminder of the bonds of love with friends and family. It is a great time to celebrate togetherness with the near and dear.
You have a fine view of looking at the children and finding similarities between them and those who departed.
" I see all these kids, including my own and realize that Dad, David and Angie are not really gone."
I think we should believe that everything that happens has a reason for it. That thought is consoling and takes away the edge pain and sorrow of missing departed members of the family.
Your final thoughts are sensible and soothing.
" As I get ready to leave, I see their pictures on the living room wall and smile. Comfort takes the place of pain. Joy takes the place of sorrow."
Language and style appeals to me. It is a well organized article.
Let me wish you a very Happy WDC Account Anniversary! Have a wonderful day.
it is a wonderful Christmas story. I could nor resist reviewing it. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulation on turning one more year at the WDC. Have a lovely day.
The main attraction for me in this heart-warming story is its descriptive power. Imagery you used is visual and spiritual as well.
"When it was time to start, Santa’s eyes lit up like candles.....Then Santa and the elves carried the toys out in sacks..... The stars twinkled in the cold night sky while the elves harnessed the reindeer, ...."
I found this quite interesting because of the attention given to details.
The way you split Santa and Mr. Clause is reasonable, for they serve two different zones of the earth delivering gifts to the children of both North and South hemispheres of the world. That is quite thoughtful.
this is a wonderful bunch of poems. My review is for the first poem "Fruit of labor". This is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing another year at the charming WDC. Have a wonderful anniversary.
This poem is impressive. The metaphor worked well. Like the enjoyable sweet fruit, we reap the fruit of our ancestors' labor of love. Our roots count tremendously. We need to remember and respect all those people who have done their best to keep the river of life flowing smooth through countless generations.
"As if river of love crosses the generations"
The sweet fruit of the tree bears an invaluable vision of "love"
Everyone needs the message, this poem conveys. Everyone knows that they are going to die and death is the ultimate end of life. Yet, they act and talk as if they own the earth and given a chance they can move it. It is just an illusion.
That's just the truth."
After death nothing matters. Nothing comes with us money or fame and friendships. We come alone and leave alone without luggage of any kind. To ashes we return.
wonderful words that assure us that nothing lasts and it is a waste of time to cling to anything.
"So just live the best life you can."
this free verse is full of enthusiasm and hope. Believing in yourself is what it is all about. Going on an adventure of writing different stories and poems sounds exciting. Nothing like artistic expression where emotion prevails.
This poem shows your way of processing your writing combined with a feeling of speeding it up.
"Tales of happiness,
Tales of love,
Tales of sadness."
It sounds like a literary feast.
The poem records the reasons and expectations behind the poet's return to writing again.
Nothing like transformation in the mind and heart. It does wonders to life. This works like a loadstar. Shows the way and guides our thinking and impulses too.
"On pure blackness this improvement
Explodes inside a mind transformed"
Imagery absolutely shows how it happened. You also said it was a moment of "Divine spark." A significant observation. Nothing happens without feeling it. Believing in self is perhaps synonymous with it.
"write this poem in a brainstorm
of love, life and light, Amen"
I think how we look at things matter.
I feel the rhythm of quick change of think-feel process.
It was a wise decision to have the box instead of throwing it away considering it useless.
These mementos that carry memories pile up as the years pass by. One fine day finding time to look through we get a little confused what to throw and what to retain. Sometimes it is sentimental value and sometimes it could be association or a memory that could persuade us to keep that item back in the box.
"... has about the same emotional impact as looking at old photos made when the kids were little..."
Language and style appeal to me.
Imagery is visual. Sentiments win over practical reasons.
If this is an experience, it is very strange. There are reasons why you might be feeling out of touch with the surroundings that suddenly make their appearance. It could be a dense outgrowth at that particular place you were at that moment. It could be a place where there is dense darkness.And the rain adds to the gloomy quality. It could be a place where spiders were more and the briers grew in abundance.
But the appearance of the sky suddenly is a welcome break. Not only from the dark gloomy woods but also the tension created by the untimely walk in the woods.
Nicely described and narration appeals due to images of light and darkness.
Nature can create fear in the most unexpected manner.