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1
1
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Fin,

This is a typically thoughtful piece. My reflections on it are for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have lovely day.

Although they say that life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel, I see by dint of your train of thought, it should be reversed.

I see self reflections, self examination and finally, a kind of wish for detachment out of disillusion of things of life.
Despite high thinking, we lead our routine lives because we are not prepared to give up. Right?
There is nothing more peaceful if we give up worldly trappings and lead the lives of the sages of yore. They realized this emptiness, monotony, endless cycles you feel and instead of sticking on they left to seek supreme bliss on their own.
All cannot do that. Frailty being our cardinal quality, some of us don't have that kind of detachment.

But it is creditworthy that you question the ordinariness, the low quality of life. Your reflections and rage are of great value.

Thank you for sharing your philosophy.

Write on!
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2
2
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A nice and meaningful poem which shows the way to feel happy in times of weariness.
"And a sad tired heart laughs with joy
at the wonder of God's creation.

To me this tribute to a red flower with a silky touch and pleasing fragrance represents nature's beauty, the kind of beauty that delights at any given time and whatever the season happens to be.

"...a bright red flower
on a drizzly winter day?"

You have used all the senses to create a nice free style poem with visual imagery.

It flows well.
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3
3
Review of Until I'm Home  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A pretty sci-fi story.
perhaps this is what awaits us in future. Virtual love and communication. Somehow, there is something quite human and natural about this story. Previously, we used to express feelings and exchange news through letters or email. The events in the story appear as convincing as they are in any other mode of communication.
Interesting to note the Indonesian language with its way of greeting and making enqiries about welfare of the family.
The color of culture makes the story all the more fetching.

Write on!
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4
4
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi,
this is a pretty engaging story. You said in the description that it is a children's story. That gives me the idea that it must be a computer game played with skill.
Somehow they were landed in trouble by killing the guy and having a valuable carpet(according to their mom) thoroughly soiled.
Events followed and they thought things are fine for the present.

Another give away that it was written for children is the mode of punishment they were expecting.
"“We have to make sure they never find it. If they do we’re looking at two, three weeks without TV.”"

A good make believe.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary!

Write on!
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5
5
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
He acted like the one born of forest. No amount of civilization could change his mentality or physical habits. He was happy to be back in his natural habitat, the forest.

So the civilizing mission failed and the English masters proved themselves, foolish.
The process-
There seems to be a method to this madness of civilizing innocent natives. This happened with several countries where colonization took place.
Education, religion, punishment and realization have taken place in the life of a Native born and bread in the bush.

I think it is a brilliant narration, wherein fragments meet to make splendid creation of a combination of facts and fiction.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary, Leif!

Write on!
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6
6
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi,
this ghost story kept me reading till the end. You have created a number of angles to it, each convincing in its own way.
It took sometime for me to realize that the ghost is the daughter and not the parents. I thought unless the one is a spirit, he or she cannot see and communicate to the other.

I thought it is a refreshing way of creating a spirit story with normal people in contact with it for a long stretch of time.

Told at a leisurely pace, the story's main character is drawn as someone acting normally and his reactions to the unusual things taking place in the neighbor's house are naturally shown.

The couple's presumption to escape from their dead daughter is a bit far fetched, I think. How can anyone escape being traced by a ghost?

A very interesting story.

Write on!
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7
7
Review of Grandpa's Road  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Age eight is still innocent and a stage where one believes any kind of information. No wonder your "poppop" got away with that make-believe.
Travel is fun if you have a taste for it.
The keen eye of the boy is admirable. He noticed everything on the road including villages with produce from the farm, the roads that he traveled on.

The story shows the difference between travel of long ago and the present. Everything is done in a hurried way and the chance to observe the passing things, places and people and traveling is not as leisurely as then.

Well done. Thanks for sharing.

Write on!
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8
8
Review of The Stop Off  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello there,
I find this flash fiction quite stirring my curiosity. The presence of spirits next door might have some history of its own. Some mysterious happenings during the Hitler regime or something equally ghastly and horrendous.
You have built up the tension in a convincing manner and the way the whole episode ran to a climax in the dark room.
The outstretched arms surely indicate something that the ghosts would like to convey perhaps.

However, one cannot be certain of safety in a room filled with dead people's spirits. The lodger is sensible enough to vacate it and escaped further agony.

My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations.
Have a wonderful day!

Write on!
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9
9
Review of JUNO  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A short but compact horror flash. You have the characters, the tale and a convincing twist to it. The eternal question whether ghosts exist or not hangs on.
Yet with certain proofs and feelings of being led by the invisible spirit of the dead dog persuade us to believe in it.
The midnight setting is well done with the girl feeling the dent in the bed and the way she is led out to the kitchen to get the gas leak plugged by the parents.

Interesting write.

Write on!
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10
10
Review of Light and Shadow  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Simonson,
This strikes me like a curious tale of mystery. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations for being a member of WDC for another year. Have a wonderful Anniversary.

This brings back the age-old question whether there are ghostly or invisible presences in our lives.
There are always two sides to the answer. Some brush it aside as an insignificant nothing while others swear to their presence. Both provide proofs. So we are not sure which side is correct.

I come across this incident in the story that leaves me believing in the unseen presences. The proof is found in the book with a sentence about the dead person. Who wrote it is again unknown.
" Please, help my sister find me."
I am a little confused as to whose remains are they, the patient's or her sister's?

The story ends on a note justifiable logic.
"I am left wondering, what is shadow and what is real?"

Write on!
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11
11
Review of Waking Up  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
The confusion and bewilderment of a soul that just left the physical body are visually brought to the reader. The author's imagination regarding the events that take place after life are conveyed in convincing terms. Once the breathing process is over, we imagine the person has traveled to unknown destinations.
Here we see Lowell observing each single person and their purpose. Yet, it is only with the metaphysical plane and not within this material world.

The separating lines between the dead and the living are drawn in quite a subtle fashion. This leaves the reader understand the sequences well.
"“Function complete,” the Curator said and stopped. It didn’t shut its eyes or even close its mouth. It just stopped, motionless, staring blankly at Lowell.'
Lowell is still at the mundane level, just as a soul that just left his body.

Language and style make a mark.

Write on!
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12
12
Review of Exalted Company  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Bill,
my review of this poets' poem is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations for another year of creative activity at the WDC. Have a wonderful day.

This is a dramatic poem that takes me into the worlds of mythology created in Keats' Endymion. It also tells me of the love that ruled the hearts of Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. The title justifies the content.

Imagery and metaphor-
imagery paints a quaint pictures of the goddess and the shepherd Endymion, evocative of the Elysium.

"Goddess of the moon--the same who loved
Endymion, now dreaming in his cave"

Lines like these prove that romance lives on despite age and era.
Moon beams on the book makes the poet wonder, in a tone of dry humor,

"Is there no printing press on Mount Olympus?-

The Moon was waiting for me to turn the page."
Perhaps, there isn't one.

Poetry of that kind, I mean the kind that Keats or Marlowe wrote, exists no more.

"And sank back into that symbol-woven world
Where poets dwell--or used to--and we who care"

This is the kind of poem that flows spontaneously right into my heart.

Write on!
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13
13
Review of Life after Loss  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there,
this appealing poem begins with an empty chair speaking of loss of someone dear.
Almost the whole house echoes with the absence of the person who was in and around not so long ago.
Certain harsh realities are difficult to digest. Although death is a stunning reality, we don’t want to believe it easily.
“The thought you might return to sit
and eat, it’s just a fable.”

Excellent rhyming, apt word choices and an appealing rhythm make the poem impressive.
Imagery is visual and it draws me into the context, effortlessly.

It flows well.

Write on!
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14
14
Review of Which God?  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
It is true that God does not claim to have a shape, voice or the other typicalities attributed by various religions and creeds.
In my view He is a power, a faith, a belief. It is up to us to choose our own God. He is also our inner voice, a voice that makes me aware of my negative qualities and He does his best to persuade me to give them up.
He urges me to be more compassionate and not critical. I realise that everyone has his/her faults.
It is inspiring to read lines like,
“My God gives me wisdom, comfort, courage and hope.”

I find this prose-poem is the result of long contemplation and sincere thinking.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary!

Write on!
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15
15
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Bubblegum J.

I found this haunted house story interesting. You have an appealing narrative voice.
The dead people’s way of reappearing in their former body is intriguing. A ghost is a spirit not a being.
The story of this old couple has an appeal. They seem to be benign ghosts. Still, people feel apprehensive about staying in the house. Everybody has a negative feeling about a ghost, be it good or not. Nobody can be friendly with a ghost.
The history of the house draws us in. There is something quite attractive about a ghost story as it happens with this one.

The pace is leisurely and the language, easy and spontaneous.

I have enjoyed it.

Write on!
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16
16
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

the blessings and benefits of rain find fine expression in this poem.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a great day.

Rain makes a welcome change to earth and all the living beings after a scorching summer.
Imagery is visual in effect. It shows the grass gleaming greener and the earth feeling happier.

‘’softly caressing the grasses…”

The rhythm follows the falling rain and the way it pleases the lonely flowers.

It flows well.

Write on!
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17
17
Review of Don't Trust Cupid  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
That's quite a sorry state you found yourself in. It is a rare case, where Cupid failed to find the target, especially on Valentine's day.

These couplets rhyme well evoking an evening of disappointment. The mistake could be by either party.
Some phrases are particularly eye-catching.
"danged old Cupid, sweet Evelong,derisive laughter,thorned plants(stems, aren't they?).
It is difficult to imagine a girl kicking you in the knees. It sounds humorous though.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary!

Write on!
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18
18
Review of Exhale  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Quite an appealing free verse.
I enjoyed the feeling of exhaling as shown in this poem.
Meditation does seem to help one breathe easy and free so as to make one feel the flow of breath and imagine the final moment.
The "Soul of the Spirit" is united with the Universal spirit via free exhaling.
Concentration on the breathing process has a delightful effect on the body, mind and soul as shown here.
"But the Spirit, ah, the Spirit
She lives forever"

It is an assuring verse for those who fear the last breath. Death is shown as a happy and liberating moment.

Thank you for a fine poem.

Write on!
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19
19
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Elska,
the painful experience of losing your dear father is narrated in moving terms. Death is so rudely final. A big cipher awaits us after the passing of a loved member of the family. It leaves the family in a spot of desolation and dismay. There is nothing one can do to bring him back to life except to pray for the peaceful resting of the soul.

Your thoughts about your father, his youthful personality and his past joys give a glimpse into his character and living style.

I am sure you have many joyful memories of your father to think about and relive the moments.

This nonfiction is written with a lot of love and intensity of emotions.
Sometimes we wonder what we are doing here without them. But life goes on irrespective of our experiences.

My condolences to you and the family in this moment of profound loss.

Write on!
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20
20
Review of Gracie  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Lou,
this is a cute puppy poem. Sounds like a ditty. Puppies are so engaging.
The one in the rhyme is like a small kid. Its actions are like those of a toddler.
Rhyming rolls away with ease. Keen observation of the puppy’s movements finds apt expression in the poem.
It is persuasive enough for me to go get a puppy of my own.

It flows well with a set rhyme scheme and visual imagery that appeals.

Write on!
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21
21
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,
Ha ha. I can see the moment of embarrassment you had. I agree it is a difficult matter to explain to kids especially if they are at an age of curiosity.
The mother can neither tell the truth nor can lie about reality. That’s a cleft stick situation indeed.

Indeed, why not leave the topic of a mother’s anatomy to a time when he needs to study it?

I appreciate his innocence and quick response to “I am going to put you back…..”
Poor kids are pushed to take a lot of uncalled for information.

A great lesson to over-assuming mothers told in an appealing style.

Write on!
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22
22
Review of A DAUGHTER  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Most of the points made here are true to life. The traditional family structure is one of the most impending of the obstacles for a woman to rise beyond the four walls of her home. Her life revolves only around her immediate family. She has no ambitions or goals.
It is fortunate that you have supportive in laws. Marriage proved to be a blessing in your case contrary to what generally happens in India and other such traditionally rigid countries and cultures.

Congratulations on succeeding in achieving your goals while facing the challenges. It calls for a lot of courage and will power.

There is just a typo in the sentence,
" and had was extremely intelligent."
(and was extremely intelligent.)

Language and style are appealing.

Write on!
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23
23
Review of Love.. Forever  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Ani,
I came upon this vignette on love and passion in your port. It was an impressive piece of prose.
The aphrodisiacal effect of love on the couple is shown expressly.
Love changes their lives as the two are driven to unite presently first, and thereon to a life time.

Language reflects the deep feelings with a spontaneous flow of sentences.
Edging on erotica, yet not so, it maintains its exposition of raw emotions.
Balanced and beautiful.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary.

Write on!
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24
24
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Mia,
This prose poem exposing the lives of those who fall prey to evil due to circumstances, has appeal. Nobody can escape from harsh realities and unpalatable ways of life.

Yet, as you state, there comes a time, when these rough methods to live could be abandoned. With the help some serious soul-searching and the feeling of love and self examination, life can change for better.

The last three lines suggest a commendable means to be released from the torturous paths of life.

“This is for all of us….”

Write on!
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25
25
Review of The writer in me  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there,
I appreciate the thoughts you have expressed regarding your stories. I think almost all the writers have experiences similar to your own. Nobody can write consistently forever, because creativity is not always waiting in the wings. Rather, it is vice-versa. We need to for it. Right?

“Sometimes a good writer, sometimes not…”

One of the cardinal principles of writing, as I heard is editing and rewriting. This seems a process that never ends. Turning out a new poem or a story everyday sounds tough, yet not impossible I suppose.

I enjoyed reading through your method of using your creativity.

Write on!
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