This is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a wonderful day.
This story is good because the right response to Steve's withdrawal from the relationship he had with Joan is provided by destiny itself. It is a good move you brought on in the shape of someone who literally dropped from the sky.
Setting is good enough for a picnic and later for a break-up.
Both characters come through transparently, Steve being the louse he is and Karen the innocent, hopeful for a bright future. Girls are so vulnerable.
For a person who is habituated to writing, it is a great stress to pass the day without penning few lines or words. It is difficult to imagine not writing everyday, something or the other, or about this or that.
This essay shows the color and quality of the days without writing. They are spent listlessly, thrown out of gear and unable to decide what to do next.
"Every day was empty, every day was dark, every day..."
Once you understand the impossibility of not writing, you will have no option other than going back to writing.
I am reviewing this poem for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a lovely day.
This is a love poem that appeals to me mainly due to imagery.
You created so many images or word pictures that show the blissful love you have for the beloved.
I might be able to call it sublime because the departed lover sends down her heartfelt love to her beloved on earth. That love is eternal and crosses the mundane borders of life and death is shown here. She sends her love on the wings of wind, the waves of ocean, blessings for his weal and welfare in every way possible till he joins her in their heavenly abode.
Form and structure-
With five quatrains, this rhyming poem has the scheme of ab cb. The five stanzas talk of different aspects of love being sent from heaven to earth.
Lines and line ending are found to be rhythmic and of smooth and spontaneous flow.
I am here to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a wonderful day.
This contest story contains memories of a music group,The Eagles. They were crazy rich in popularity all over the world. I remember my cousins dancing away the nights with the Eagles playing in the background.
I like the way you created this story around the songs of The Eagles.
I am pretty taken by the way you have woven the narrative. The first person narration shows happy-go-lucky girl, a " hippie chick" by admission. The liberty she enjoyed is enviable. She lets her soul and spirit take the route they are meant for.
What surprises me is the fact that she keeps the child she conceives despite the inconvenience. The concert was of top value and nothing would come in between her and her Eagles.
This is the ultimate for any girl who loves music and in this context it is The Eagles
Each song has a story element attached to it.
I don't think in recent times I have read as good as this story connected to music from top to bottom.
This is a different kind of encouragement you give to those suffering from shyness and negativity. I think sometimes shyness may not be of the negative kind but negativity, on the other hand may give rise to shyness.
That apart, you spoke of courageous encounters, which I thought would be with the outside world. Shyness is displayed mostly in the presence of the outsiders and the outside world. However, I do understand the kind of courage needed to face self and self motivated actions such as rising from the bed and conducting functions like getting out of home and driving to office and so on.
The message at the end is of great value.
"Courageous encounters are those wonderful things you do to make you feel better about yourself."
Being happy and comfortable with one's own self surely help us gain confidence and courage.
This is an interesting story,hullabaloo. By sheer dialog you created an air of mystery and curiosity.
Perhaps Carla's room mate is right about being paranoid about the white van.
You left the reader to fill in the details as to how and what happened to Carla. How did she get time to ring her friend and so on.
I thought that the friend is procrastinating in going to the police for help. I found her attitude too casual.
These are just my observations. It is brainchild anyway.
It is true to be ordinary is not easy. There are too many attractions to be in the limelight. Many people revel when surrounded by others, being praised and being noticed.
On the other hand, there those who do useful things, yet go unnoticed. They don't mind. In fact they like it that way, to be quiet and unobtrusive.
"Who don't intend to seek attention from the crowd,'
yet they know
"where to find his happiness!"
Imagery in this free verse shows a simple but successful person.
Poet has explained in appealing human terms what life and real life mean. In other words it is life lived with others(public) and life that you alone know of(personal). The second part is more important because you alone can judge yourself and not others.
It is a spontaneous free verse that shows the thinker and philosopher in the poet. Indeed, it turns the searchlight inwards and makes you think of the stuff you are made of.
it is about freedom of the soul. shedding fear and hesitation one should go ahead with the future assured of safety and joy.
Shedding fear and doubt will open doors on a world hitherto unknown to us. A world where the vistas are full of beauty and grace.
"Let us leave the past behind.
Let the future be our own."
form and structure-
Written in a three-line stanzas of six, this poem has the rhyme scheme of ABA except in the last stanza where it adds one more line AB AB.
Images of the new world are on the horizon. The poem entices the poet's partner with the tone of courage and assurance that everything is going to be fine.
it is a down-to-earth kind of poem. You stated nothing but truth in an appealing poem
Form and structure-
It is free style poem with long and short stanzas of different length.
Each stanza reflects on the kind of life we are surrounded by.
Content is interesting. Anything about life and humanity makes great reading material. Yes, the struggle to equal the haves and the have-nots is eternal. It has always been present from times immemorial. Each century produced numerous books on this state of humanity.
Yet, as you have said, there is no chance to equal them.
"To better himself as the rich man gloats."
The story is mirrored in the images of the rich and the poor and the human race to achieve acclaim and prosperity.
Imagery is visual and draws the reader into imagination.
Insight is in the last line. Luck or no luck "you must never give up!"
I can read it aloud to find the rhythm to which the poem moves.
I am truly impressed by the fact that the Hittites never spoke. You also affirmed that speaking less will help us save breath and thereby live longer. I do believe the scientific truth behind this observation. However, under some conditions we need to use our speaking faculties too. For example, when in danger you shout for "help", and so it is with extreme emotions. But these can be controlled, you might argue. Yet, how many of us can suppress impulse? besides these observations, your suggestion to save breath and live longer is enticing and encouraging enough to practise writing more than speaking. Silence is golden in every way.
Love has a way of blinding people into believing falsities and flatter. And then it is too late to recognize and realize the real truth behind the mask of lies and deceptive appearances.
Tells us what will follow. Yet, we read on to track the wolf.
Form and structure-
Free style verse with five quatrains. Each of them shows a different stage of fall for a wrong person.
"Although you uttered many tender words..."
Rhythm is reflective of how things changed from being bright to dark.
Content is well dealt with. It has a novelty despite being repeated, for each story of deception has its own uniqueness.
"You painted a pretty picture
Then lured me in with gentleness"
this is finest aspect of the poem. Nature imagery to mirror the inner condition is well done.
"The sun's rays of gold turned black"
You brought the person alive in the poem with appropriate word choices.
It is one of those stories, which makes us smile as we draw to the end. Liz's character is well-defined and shown in her roles as a mother, as a hard-working employee and an ambitious hopeful to realize her dream.
There are many more angles to her personality. Her patience and forbearance too are shown effectively.
A nurse is what a person like Liz should be.
Dialog and setting are quite appropriate.
Lou loves her. Yet kept his silence understanding her future plans and the deep bond she has with her husband who served in the army.
The story unfurls itself in a natural way. Smooth flow of sentences keep us to reading it and expecting it to continue.
Congratulations on being placed First in the contest.
I perfectly understand your taste for real life beauty in fiction as well. A classic, they say is forever. Books that describe and talk about life as found in real world with an addition of its beauty are, in my opinion become classics. The two books you mentioned are famous for two different reasons. While Huckleberry Finn is based on a real life character, Frankenstein is the first Gothic novel referred to as the first true science fiction story. I appreciate your point that there is a child in the respective books.
The fascination you have for reading is remarkable.
" As I enter into those hallowed halls I have become fully engrossed in this book, ... I see the setting as a real place, the characters are ... This world is no longer an escape, it is reality."
The above observation is hundred percent true.
Great assessment of reading(with complete pleasure).
Gift shops such as the one you mentioned, namely, Harlan Kirwan, Anna Kirwan, and Harley Kirwan Deadwood are not easy to find. I went through the experience of buying suitable gifts to friends and relatives. I wasn't happy with my finds.
In this advertisement, I find that I can get gifts to be given to various people including the smallest in the family.
The author has done a great job, showing the circumstances under which he went to the above shop and had a nice pick of the gift, he intended.
I came across this nice story in the Weekly Newsletter, "Short Stories: Seasons Change".
In this romantic story you had shown how the seasons change in human lives. Both the central characters are well defined. Elliot's part is important because we trace the life of the couple through his recap in the park. I notice the key role played by Rusty.
Anger's effect and speed are shown visually.
" His heart was racing, as anger coursed through him."
This story mirrors one of those sweet experiences of couples in love,i.e, fight and patching up.
I felt that a short dialog in the park could be nice.
I like the way the sentences and paragraphs connect. Smooth transformations are a draw.
This is a gentle but passionate poem on "Glenda", your lady love. You traced her poetic portrait quite appealingly. You have shown her to be beautiful from inside and out. The fact that she made an effort to bring you back to the paths of love and truth is well dealt with. We can read between the lines.
"Yes I've made mistakes.
And Glenda has felt their pain."
To err is human, to forgive, divine. She stood up that standard, I believe.
Imagery speaks of your unconditional love for Glenda and am glad that she reciprocates the feelings.
I love the happy endings and this poem ends on a happy note.
Rhyming is faultless and the flow, superb.
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