Your story is interesting and makes the girl very believabe and real (oh, if it's a true story, come visit me). I remember the era when children would not dream of interrupting adults, which younger readers may not understand.
I so wanted to give this 5 s, but there were just several run-on sentences and some places that could be a bit smoother.
This had nothing to do with the rating of this piece, but something for your information: To take your writing to the next level, try to avoid using a vague it. For example, one sentence in the story states, It was a normal Friday about thirty years ago. My mother was in the kitchen cooking dinner. What does it refer to? There is nothing, so the word is a vague it. "One normal Friday about thirty years ago, my mother . . ." Vague it is gone, and the writing is tighter.
This story manages to build characterization in a few brief "word" strokes. I can visualize father, son, and accountant.
I know everything can't be covered in a short story, but you do very well including the needed items.
In the sixth paragraph, the pronoun reference was a bit confusing. Now who was thinking about his grandfather's farm?
All right is two words, just as all wrong is two words. "Alright, Brian. Get that pencil pushing accountant in here and let's see if we can figure out how to use a skunk to subtract some of the red ink from out books." Also this has a run-on sentence; a comma is needed after the word here. Then I think you mean our rather than out.
Overall, this was enteraining and interesting. I enjoyed it very much, and the skunk was in the firm the whole time.
You create another example of marvelous imagery in short burst of phrases. I like the oxymoron "full in empitness."
The one problem I have with this piece is the bursts of phrases that don't seem to flow together. Yes, violence may call for staccato type wording, but can't they at least be joined together some way?
You use alliteration beautifully and effectively: water weighted weariness; darkness descending; Sun's soft. The imagery throughout the writing is sharp and clear, leaving a lasting impression.
Without needed punctuation, the reader either reads aloud choppily by pausing at the end of each line, or she needs to hope to have enough breath to read it all without a pause. Neither gives due to the beauty of the words.
This poem I really like, very much. The use of alliteration is excellent. The analogy of one becoming lost on a hike and lost in life is true poetry. Perfect.
If I'm not mistaken, Gethsemane is the correct spelling (brief description).
Oh, wow, the imagery is terrific in this poem. I especially like the wording of stepping into the storm and trusting. That does take faith and is so difficult for me to do. I don't like storms unless I'm safe inside.
This piece would be perfect if it weren't just one long, run-on sentence. One revision might be changing crashing into crash in line three after omiting the comma at the end of line two.
I like this poem. It's a bit different with an off-kilter flow that matches the "argument" and debate. It's not "pretty" and doesn't use flowery language, but it presents a precise, concise message.
Perhaps poetic "purists" might not care for the form and substance, but the sharp repartee makes the message enjoyable.
Your crisp metaphors bring spring alive. Since I am partial to roses, the first line brings a pleasant memory to mind.
The off rhymes bother me, for example pane and lanes. Lanes could become lane easily:
"Cherry-blossom showers across each city lane." That would also avoid "city street lanes."
You might want to check for run-on sentences and fragments. Fragments used occasionally for effect works sometimes.
As usual I enjoy your writing. I just don't think this was up to your usual standard.
I really like the introductory poems for this folder. They are short but vivid glimpses of nature, the name of this folder.
The imagery brings sharp, clear pictures to mind: the simile of the dark clouds to herds of buffalo; the personification of colors groaning out for night; and cold-nosed puppy kisses.
The first poem has needed punctuation, which I like so that thoughts don't run together. The last two don't have punctuation, and "Promise of Night" works okay without it. However, "The Fog" doesn't: the thoughts run together.
As usual, your word craft is tremendous. I enjoyed your creativity.
This poem contains some lovely imagery and poetic language. It is a good example of free verse.
I especially like the use of mist coverlet.
You might want to revise the first stanza a bit: The use of its is confusing and unclear since you have the same pronoun used for two different things with no distinction.
Also a few places the punctuation needs a bit of adjustment, but that is a minor problem.
When an article can be written about something so technical so that someone like me can understand, it is well written. Thanks for helping me to understand something else about the site and its tools.
Using the Entended Item Statistics has allowed me to understand who or what group of readers like or dislike my writing, rather which find it tolerable and which like it. At least now I understand what I'm reading.
Writing so that anyone can understand is a creative talent in and of itself. Good job.
You might consider writing cannot as one word, the accepted spelling now.
I enjoyed reading your work. You manage to have some excellent detail and some believable dialogue.
The first paragraph needs to grab the reader's attention. Yours starts with "The traffic light turned green," but then digresses into a descrition of a car and of buying it. You might want to find a way to include a "hook" into those first words.
Using "was" or "has" or "had" often in writing tends to lose the impact of what you're saying. You might want to see how you can revise so that you are using more action verbs and less passive voice sections and fewer perfect tenses.
If you do revise, please let me know. I'd love to be able to adjust the rating on this story. You show some remarkable talent.
Welcome to Writing.Com. Please know that I'm here to help if you need me.
This poem cries with the pain and sorrow felt by someone going through divorce. The understanding given by the author also is expressed well.
In many places the subject and verb are separated by a comma which shouldn't be there. For example, you use the same two lines to begin and to end your poem. At the end, the punctuation is correct, but at the beginning, you have a comma after "feel," which is incorrect. You have the same problem in several stanzas.
I'm not sure why you capitalize heart in one place, where it isn't needed, or love in another.
The emotion, the flow, the meaning of this poem is very good.
Oh, how funny. I thoroughly enjoyed this story, enough though the part about what the pickle resembeled was not my favorite part by far. You have a good story telling talent. Your dialogue and plot were believable and entertaining.
e:idea} The following sentence seems a bit awkward and is a run-on as written. This had been his routine for almost eight months and he had been promoted to "floor manager," a position that seemed to have no solid definition. " A comma after "months" would solve the run-on problem, but I wonder if that's what you mean. This had been his routine and he had been promoted, maybe "since" he had been promoted?
Another sentence is a run-on. Kinsworthy usually counted the money again, but Kyle didn't really care; his mom was proud of him and he made enough money to pay for the dent he'd accidentally put in the fender of her car. A comma is needed after "him." You might want to break this into two compound sentences at the semicolon so that it's not so long.
A question mark or an exclamation point, but not both, are usuable in *teal*"What?!"
Ah, SM, you seem to always come up with ideas to benefit the members of Writing.Com. Your newest idea, to reward those who give "quality" reviews, is an idea that should help more writers have better reviews.
Thank you for all that you do for us. We are forturnate indeed.
OH! You have even given us a character counter! You are so cleaver.
For someone who claims not to know how to write free verse, you write it remarkably well. I really do like this intro to your folder of free verse.
Captitalizing at the least the first word of each stentence would help with the reader being able to better understand. A few punctuation problems pop up, too.
The rhyme, rhythm, and poetic language in all poetry is just a bit different. Free verse simply doesn't have a set rhyme or meter.
What a delightful acrostic. You caught halloween and painted it with words. Very enjoyable.
I thought you had a rhyme scheme of each two lines rhyming, but true rhymes are not there for each two lines. Then the last line is a bit longer, with a rhyme between fun and done. Minor distractions, yes, but just enough to keep it from being perfect. I'm sorry.
First of all, welcome back, Jacque. We've missed you.
I really like this poem. The free verse format works beautifully for its flow and imagery. The question, "What now?" could definitely lead to an answering poem.
I had no idea that this was hidden in the forum for TWAU submissions. I had no idea that a forum had been made for me. I was rather low tonight, and this touched me so much.
What a wonderful surprise, and of course I give it a five.
What a wonderful group of people wrote messages. I have lots to read.
Viv
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Your story is interesting and makes the girl very believabe and real (oh, if it's a true story, come visit me). I remember the era when children would not dream of interrupting adults, which younger readers may not understand.
I so wanted to give this 5 
Oh, the progression from love to hate with the rain and her emotions, her life made me cry. The imagery of each step grabbed my mind and heart.
This story manages to build characterization in a few brief "word" strokes. I can visualize father, son, and accountant.
I know everything can't be covered in a short story, but you do very well including the needed items.
Overall, this was enteraining and interesting. I enjoyed it very much, and the skunk was in the firm the whole time.
You create another example of marvelous imagery in short burst of phrases. I like the oxymoron "full in empitness."
You have a unique talent with words.
This poem I really like, very much. The use of alliteration is excellent. The analogy of one becoming lost on a hike and lost in life is true poetry. Perfect.
The imagery brings sharp, clear pictures to mind: the simile of the dark clouds to herds of buffalo; the personification of colors groaning out for night; and cold-nosed puppy kisses.
This piece lacks the power and punch of the other works by you that I've read. The smoothness and imagery isn't as noticeable, either. 
I guess this must be your experimental period, huh?
Writing so that anyone can understand is a creative talent in and of itself. Good job.
Ah, Harry, you do know how to use words and craft them into works of art. The sail down my river of life revealed many of the images you portray.