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1,142 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give reviews the way I prefer to receive them. Honesty, thoughts for improvement, and identifying strengths are aspects that I prefer from others, so I give these things in return. Rising star award
I'm good at...
I can pretty much review anything, whether poetry or short stories. My favorite genres to read are horror and the odder side of fiction, but I am open to reading other genres. If I do review a genre that is not one I particularly enjoy reading, then I am most likely going to review it based on the structure, rather than the content.
Favorite Genres
I tend to gravitate toward writings in the dark genres. With short stories and novels, horror is my favorite. With poetry, I prefer writings that display raw emotions. If your writing tackles a subject that people find offensive, I might like it.
Least Favorite Genres
Christian literature, Western, and Children's. I will NOT read or review anything that consists of XGC material between minors and adults or encourages abuse as acceptable behaviors.
Favorite Item Types
Dark poetry, horror, emotional, autobiographical, erotica, psychology
Least Favorite Item Types
Horror is one of my favorites to read and write. Also, poetry that tackles intense subject matter interests me.
I will not review...
I WILL NOT review anything that encourages abuse as acceptable behavior or includes XGC material between a minor and adult. All review requests asking me to read whole novels or later chapters will be rejected. The reason being is that I can not give a fair review of chapter 3 when I have not read the chapters before that and, the time allowance when requests for reviews are made does not allow for enough time to read a whole novel.
Public Reviews
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Review of NYC  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hi, Rach. This popped up on the random review page. As you may know by now, if you checked your e-mail. SM's is giving us double gift points for reviewing items in the random review tool. *Bigsmile*

This is an excellent little glimpse into a moment in your life. Since it is a contest entry, I suspect that there was a limited word count. You did well showing a lot with the limited allowance of words.

I especially appreciated all the imagery that is shown in this. You add all of the senses, which made me feel like I was there in that moment, experiencing the world around me in anticipation of getting married.

This was a beautiful short little write. Thank you for sharing it with me. *Heart*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Mirage  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi, Ken! This popped up on the random review page. Since us preferred authors are getting more gift points for random reviews, I am stalking it a bit today.

This was a great little story for such a short write. Since it was for a contest, I'm thinking there was a word limit, so I'm going to judge it as such.

Something that I really appreciate about this is that even though there was a limited word count, you still managed to show a lot through dialogue. I really get a sense of these characters.

The fact that the woman was more interested in shopping really shows that she is a little empty, incapable of seeing the deeper meaning. I mean, she is on a beach right before sunset, which must have been beautiful, yet she was more interested in finding what she could buy, rather than enjoying the world around her.

The husband has quite the imagination and is an avid reader. Dune, as I remember it is quite a lengthy book and a great book at that.

The only suggestion I have is there are some areas where you mention that people said things, rather than maybe showing some body language. For example, instead of just writing that he said after he mentions the smell of the air, he could close his eyes and inhale.

Overall, this was a great little read, with a ton of character development and showing, which is challenging when given less words to work with. You are an excellent writer. *Heart*

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember the thoughts expressed here are from only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine what advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Pinwheel  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)


Hi there! I found this in the random read and reviews. Great little myth. It is quite haunting.

The hook
The way you begin the story is a little cliche and is as often used as "once upon a time." Maybe consider revising with just beginning with her marrying her sweetheart.

Strengths
The ideas expressed are excellent! The thoughts of this woman holding the dead child throughout Winter is haunting and made me cringe a little.

Then the imagery in the conclusion is haunting as well. It is one of those haunting myths that kind of stick with the reader.


Suggestions
For me this seemed like a telling of the story, rather than a showing. Of course most of it there would be no dialogue, especially since it is the woman left alone with her dead child. More descriptions here would probably help. I mean, she was holding the baby all Winter, so she must have been decaying. Did she just act like she was alive, trying to feed her and putting her to bed? Or did she just hold her during her waking hours and mourn her as she touched her hand? Maybe she was in shock and thought the baby was alive, it is unclear.

There are some formatting issues. You forgot to space one of the paragraphs, but with a quick read you will see the error.

Final thoughts

I really enjoyed this story! It has potential to be an excellent haunting piece of writing. It just needs to be expanded on with some showing, rather than just telling us what happened. Hopefully you will get around to expanding on it. It is definitely worth doing so.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, the thoughts expressed here are from only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts here have been helpful. If you get around to doing any repairs, hopefully you will let me know so that I can up my rating according to improvements made.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)

Hi there. This popped up on the random read and review and I thought I'd share my thoughts on it.

Reading your words brought me back to those with dementia that I have encountered. I once did in-home healthcare where I took care of elderly, many of which had dementia. Many of the things you describe, like the lack of eating are common with those with the disorder.

Like you express, it is a huge toll on the family. Though, I also see it in a different light too. It is traumatic for those who are experiencing it too.

You mention that you give her one word explanations when she asks what you are talking about. Hopefully you are kind when you do so. She may not remember it in after a while, but at that moment she does and her emotions are still very real.

Interesting that she wants people to do things for her. From my experience, most want to do things themselves when they really shouldn't. I found that giving them the allusion of control worked well in compensating them and helping to get them to do things they need to do.

For example, one lady I took care of, the family claimed nobody could get her to take a shower. The reason was is because they were speaking to her like a child, telling her to do it, rather than giving her choices. My solution was to go for a walk with her. She loved walks and there was a donkey around the corner that she loved to pet. When we got back to her home I would say, "Eww, I smell like B.O. and like that donkey." Then she would say, "Oh, so do I. I'm taking a shower." So, I manipulated her into doing what she needed to do, without taking her choices away.

Reading about your family member, I thought to myself, this woman seems sweet. When you express that she likes to flirt with men, I thought it was adorable. It saddened me when you exclaimed that her sleeping a lot was a positive thing. Although she has dementia, these are your last years with her. In between her forgetfulness are stories, her stories that are worth hearing, even if you have heard them a hundred times. One day she will be gone and those stories will be all you have left.


Suggestions
This is written from the perspective on how dementia impacts the family in the form of annoyances. It would be nice to have a little more substance, since this is an article. By substance I mean maybe resources that help families who are dealing with this, scientific reasoning of why those with the disorder do what they do, how doctors say family should handle loved ones, suggested counseling services etc.

There is also an issue with your formatting. Paragraphs are not spaced and some are moved awkwardly mid-sentence. This sometimes happens when you copy/paste from another writing program. Once you give it a readover you will see what I'm talking about.


Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, these are just the thoughts of one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful. If you get around to making any corrections, hopefully you will let me know and I will up my rating according to your corrections.















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Review of Disembodied  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
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I am reviewing this as part of "a very Wodehouse challenge. The obective is the review five members in the "CAA Hall of Fame.

What an interesting concept. This idea would work great as a novel. Maybe what we consider diety is really an alien inhabitant.

The hook

The story begins with the creature looking at his/her dead host. I thought it worked great as a hook.

Dialogue
Words spoken were excellently done. Their speech was realistic and aided in building each distinct character. I especially like the strength in the young girls voice toward the end.

I like the way you did the internal dialogue. With two thinking in one brain, internal dialogue could have gotten confusing, but you did well.

Character development
The men in this story are clearly shown as jerks. You did particularly well showing their anger too.

I love how this being latches on, giving them strength. When she stood up to the perv stepfather I kept hoping she'd shove him in front of a bus.

Plot
The plot was interesting! Though, I think this would work better as a chapter, rather than a short story. Once a new host was found, I pretty much knew the outcome of the story, especially since the same thing happened with the first host.

Mechanics
I found a few things that need attention.

If I we had been joined by years

Teeth clenched (and) he snarled up at us.

Jessica took a deep breath and as we walked toward the front door.

Before she could bolt the door opened and an older version of Jessica opened up the door.

Final thoughts
I felt that this story was unique, which is challenging to find these days. It just needs some editing. Hopefully you will get around to doing so.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, the thoughts expressed here are from only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful. When you get around to editing, hopefully you will let me know so that I can up my rating according to repairs.



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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
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I am reviewing this as part of "a very Wodehouse challenge. The obective is the review five members in the "CAA Hall of Fame.

I love horror, which is why I chose this. The title and description were catchy too.

The hook
The first paragraph shows two young boys walking towards a semitary, lured by familiar music. It works well as a hook, but needs a little editing, due to being a little wordy.

Maybe just describe that the two boys were walking in the setting son towards the familiar music. Somehow show that it is forboding, rather than telling this. One way is to show the boys fear. Maybe his stomach knots as the sun dissipates or hairs stand up on the back of his neck.

Dialogue
Spoken words are done well. The slang really shows these two boys. The confidence in the oldest really shines through too.

Where there can be improvement is to remove said, responded etc. and instead add some body language and the actions of the story. For example, the youngest is uncomfortable with the situation, so he could display signs of nervousness like biting his lip or wringing his hands in front of him before speaking.

Character development
The personalities of individual characters are shown really well. The youngest is frightened easier, while the oldest is the bravest of the two.

You explain that the youngest was seven or eight, but I would suggest choosing an exact age.

Scenery
Scenery is done well. I imagined one of those older semitaries overgrown in weeds. That, with knowing it takes place at dusk, helped in seeing the creepy atmosphere.

Plot
The plot was interesting and the ending was surprising. Though, a third of the way I suspected the boys were dead. This was mostly due to their age. No child at that age would be left unattended at that age. Making them older and possibly adding that they snuck out their window might distract from the reader realizing they are dead.

Final thoughts
This was a good short story, it just needs a little editing. Hopefully you will take the time to fix issues. It has a lot of potentual.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, the opinions expressed here are from only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to decide which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful. If you get around to doing some editing, feel free to let me know so that I can up my rating according to repairs.


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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I am reviewing this as part of "a very Wodehouse challenge. The obective is the review five members in the "CAA Hall of Fame.

As I was browsing your port, I realized that I have read your writing quite a bit, but have never reviewed you. I tend to read way more than I review. This poem in particular I remember reading a while back. It was posted in a newsfeed if I am remembering correctly. Anyways, I thought it was a great poem then and still do.

Emotive qualities
The title mentions sarcasm and you deliver it. It seems that you are speaking to an attention wh##e that is very surface. The world surrounds around her and in a way you will take advantage of that ignoarance by appealing to her inflated ego. Or, at least that is the conclusion I came to when I got to the end of the poem. Also, she lacks deeper thought, which is evident when you mention her blank stare.


Flow
Line breaks are done well. Each line flows into the next cohesively without any confusing bits.

Final thoughts
This poem made me think of those annoying women I avoid. They are more interested in the tabloids and their two hundred dollar purse, than they are in actual other people and real issues in the world.


Great little poem. Thanks for sharing your writing. ♡


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Review of The Dropout  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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I am reviewing this as part of "a very Wodehouse challenge. The obective is the review five members in the "CAA Hall of Fame.


I do like a good horror story, so I browsed your darker stories. The title and description of this one caught my attention.


The hook

Right away we are told that events over the Summer changed his outlook on life. This was his last year in highschool, yet he isn't planning or expecting a bright future. I was curious of why, so it works as a hook.

Dialogue
There is no dislogue. In my opinion dialogue would show the story more. For example you could show the chatter of students and how he slumps down silently seemingly invisible. Then when the principle speaks over the intercom, you could show us in dialogue rather than tell us about it. Including emotional responce of fellow students would create more of an emotional responce from your reader.

Character development
The only character we really get to know is David. To me he seamed like a depressed teen, which is fitting to the ending.

Scenery
I imagined a typical school, even though there was not much description of the area, other than the chatter of people.

Plot
The plot is really good! You give a few hints in the beginning that are not too obvious. The ending was a surprise, which is refreshing.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, the thoughts expressed here are from one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


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Review of The Chest  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Wow, what an emotional read. Beautifully written too! What an amazing gift to leave behind for his grandson.

The hook.
The story begins in italics showing the past of these two lovers. You don't say it, but it is easy to assume that he is going off to the military. I half expected him not to return. I wanted to read on to learn of their fate.

Dialogue
Dialogue is done very well. Little details like the grandson struggling to pronounce a word make speech seem realistic. You also add plenty of body language which shows the characters and the story.


Character development

We learn about the grandparents mostly through the grandfather's memories as he gathers items into the chest. Using italics worked well in showing the transition between memories and current actions. In those memories the love these two shared is shown extremely well. When we are moved to present time, it is obvious that his wife is no longer here and his sadness is clearly shown in your writing.

The body language from the father towards the end leads me to believe his father's death was recent. His character is shown through his interaction with his son and his emotions about the loss of his father.

Scenery
In the beginning, I imagined a scene from those classic movies, where the woman watches her young lover leave on a train to go off to war. When we switched to the room when the man is much older putting objects in the chest, the descriptions of scenery are pretty basic, but too much would have distracted from the most important thing in the room, the chest.

Plot
The plot is excellent. It is both sad and inspirational. There is loss, but there is hope in happiness in the legacy left behind. In some ways it was very symbolic. When the old man was putting items away in the chest it seemed like he was letting go of something, but I didn't realize it would be his own life.

Final thoughts
Wonderful story. This seems like something that should be submitted to Chicken Soup for the Soul. They are currently accepting submisdions. You should give it a try.

Thanks for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed the read. ♡


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Circle of Life  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I'm here for your final review that was purchased by Andy in the Holiday Cheer Fundraiser. I've had a lovely time browsing your port, especially learning the most emotional aspects of you through your poetry.

First thoughts
This was a beautiful poem! Your mother must have been amazing woman. Although this is sad, it also has elements of healing. Most importantly, you were lucky to have had such an amazing connection with your mother. Not all of us are gifted with such things in life.

Imagery
For me this poem seemed like an analogy of healing from loss. The flowers surviving in Winter symbolizes great strength, posibly reminding you of the strength of that mother and daughter bond, but also that strength it takes to move past grief, yet still cherishing those memories.

Emotive qualities
This poem was a tear jerker, but not completely due to sadness. It is one of those situations where there are tears, but still smile thinking, "She will always be with me."

Flow
When read outloud the poem flows beautifully. Rhymes are consistant without seeming forced. Each stanza flows effortlessly into the next without any confusing bits.

Final thoughts
This was a well written poem, deserving of the merits it has received so far.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed the read. ♡

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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I'm back to conduct the last review in the package purchased for you in the Holiday Cheer Fundraiser. I've enjoyed stalking your port. ♡

This was a funny read. We all have that one friend who does not have cooking as a skill.

The hook
You begin by describing this amazing majestic cake. Right away the reader knows that this cake is going to be important. I was curious to what this cake had to do with the plot. So, for me it worked well as a hook.

Dialogue
For the most part dialogue is done well. There are a few areas where you put "asked", "answered", and "said" where it is unneeded. Most of the time it is obvious that someone asked, said etc. due to the quotation marks. It shows the story better to include body language instead.

Character development
Poor Betsy! Through conversation and her body language it is apparent that she is a sweet woman with good intentions. She spent so much time making that cake beautiful for it not to taste good. Her embarassment is obvious through the narrator's descriptions and her dialogue.

Scenery
Scenery descriptions are pretty basic, but there is just enough to show the story.

Plot
This was a fun little read. I had a belly laugh at poor Betsy's expense. The little twist at the end with cheesecake saving the day was cute.

Final thoughts
This was a great little story. It was relatable.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed browsing your port. ♡



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi there! I'm here to conduct the first of the three reviews Andy purchased the "Holiday Cheer Fundraiser. Reading the description inside the book item, you had me at politically incorrect.

I've read a few of the adventures by Hooves, but this one is my favorite so far. It is relatable to us writers and humorous.

What I liked
I just love the name for the whale! It gave me a giggle. *Bigsmile* little personification details like when he "huffed and spit" really show his character and the story.

The reviewer smelling gave the impression that he/she passed gas. This wouldn't be an analogy for your feelings toward reviewers who make head-hopping claims against your writing now would it? I got a good laugh from that. I too have been judged for switching POV. Nothing wrong with third person omniscient or third person limited, so long as the plot isn't given away too soon. Like the animals said, novelists do it all the time.

Suggestions for improvement

Honestly, it is great as is. As far as I could tell, it is error free, without any confusing bits for me to trip over.


Thank you for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed the read. ♡












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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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I'm back again to conduct your second review purchased in the Holiday Cheer fundraiser. It has been fun browsing your port. I clicked on this particular story because I remember you talking about it on the Newsfeed a while back. If I am mistaken, you previously had several chapters, but removed them due to someone copying the character as their own.

It is a cute story and I can see how, much like Garfield, this character could be equally loved. Cats are funny creatures, so there is plenty to work with there.

My favorite parts
Sir Trever is an interesting character. You did great showing his bossy, independent nature, which is fitting to cats.

Just the other day, my boyfriend and I were talking about the secret language among dogs, so that aspect in reference to cats was cool. They do seem to have their own form of communication, other than meowing. The vocabmewary used to describe communication with humans was cute too.


Suggestions

"It started out as a good day I batted her in the nose a few times to wake her up and get her out of bed." - This is a run-on sentence. I would suggest putting either and or a period between day and I.

"She has an electric coffee warmer so" - There needs to be a comma before so.

"I was hungry I wanted my breakfast so I reached out one front paw and pressed on the pretty blue button that turns the computer on and off."
- This is a run-on sentence. You need either and or a period between hungry and I. There should be a comma before so.

Final thoughts
This was a great little intro to his character. Animals do seem to train us. Just as much as we teach them commands, they too train us. Like your Sir Trever trains his human servant, I have a dog that has trained us. One way is he licks us between the eyes in the middle of the night when he is out of water. As good servants, we must make sure the bowl is full if we want a full nights sleep.


Thanks for sharing your imagination with me. I enjoyed meeting Sir Trevor, the feline master. ♡



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Review of I Need Coffee  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi there! I'm here to conduct the first of the three reviews Secret Santa purchased for you in "Holiday Cheer Fundraiser. This was a great little non-fictional flash fiction. I love how you turned real life frustrations into a bit of commedy.

The hook
The first paragraph is relatable, especially if one is not a morning person. Though, I must call to your attention that you are missing a period between the first two sentences.

The plot
Pretty much anyone who has spent any time in hospitals or doctor offices has experienced medical employees with bad bedside manners. This, in addition to the lack of caffeine can make for a bad morning.

When that nurse didn't listen to you, I caught myself shaking my head. That is so frustrating when nurses act like I'm an idiot and they know my body better than I do. Then of course when you were correct, it was your fault that she kept missing your vein.

I bet you needed a coffee after that ordeal! I'd probably need a cigarette in addition to caffeine.


The conclusion
It is interesting how we can look back on something frustrating and giggle about it. Not that your experience was funny. It was more your sarcastic ending that put a smile on my face. Sometimes we have bad days, but hey, at least we have coffee to help us through it.


Thanks for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed the read. ♡






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+
For group members


I'm reviewing this story because you requested a review. All the thoughts expressed here are given for the purpose of helping you evolve into an even better writer than you already are.

The story is actually really good, but there are a lot of areas that need some editing. If I am not mistaken it was written for Sinister Stories back in October. If so, it was a unique approach to the piano prompt.

The hook
The title is great and matches the story. If one likes a good horror story, it would heighten curiosity for the darkness that lurks inside.

That first line hints to something Sinister and dark, which is a good start. The issue is that you begin with improper punctuation. Below is the introduction with the correct punctuation.

This story is a warning to all who will listen. I don't have long until "She" comes, so here goes my story.

By the way the red lettering works well here. It causes the word to scream off the page, hinting that "she" is dangerous. Though, I would suggest bold lettering, rather than quotation marks. It would have the same effect, while not distracting from the actual dialogue.

Dialogue
There is very little dialogue. The dialogue that is there works. Her words are quite terrifying. Though, there are some punctuation issues in her speech and it is too wordy. Also, towards the end of her words it gets confusing. I think she is trying to express that you have woken something that is worse than any pain the Devil could inflict and that she is going to harm everyone you love?

There is an area where you express internal dialogue. Italics work better when expressing unspoken words.

Character development
This is told in first person, as if you are trying to write this down in a hurry, before She returns. We get a lot of background story, and I can see what you were trying to do. In my early writing, I used to do exactly the same thing.

It seems that you are trying to give a clear image of the writer, but a lot of the details are errellivent. What does working at the music store have to do with the plot? Unless there is an eery attraction to the piano or something equally suspicious about the music store, it is unimportant to the story. But, the piano is arriving at the home, making the whole music store unimportant.

Simply letting us know that he arrived home from work and the piano was there is enough.

The descriptions of She are done particularly well. You added sight and smell, which help show Her to your reader. I imagined, through your words, a rotting female, visually and in smell.


Plot
We have a haunted piano that releases an intity who is going to destroy everyone you know. That is a great plot for a horror story, but there are some holes in the showing of the story.

First, we are told that you are receiving a new piano. If the piano is haunted, wouldn't it be antique? Secondly, you are trying to write this before She returns, but I am confused to where she went.

At some point you mention some writing on the piano. If you mentioned that the writing looked hieroglyphic or ancient, it would hint at something scary about the piano.

When you describe what the piano actually looks like, I would suggest showing the character's attraction to it a little. For example, you could touch it and it feels worm as if alive, or maybe electricity runs through your fingers while you touch the mahogany finish.

Mechanics
Improper comma and punctuation, or lack thereof is a constant issue throughout. Most of it would be caught if you wrote your story in Microsoft Word or a cheaper equivalent.

Final thoughts
It is apparent that you have a wonderful imagination and this story has the capability of being really good. You just need to hone in on your skills a bit. My thoughts expressed in this review are meant to help you do that.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of one person. It is up to you, the writer, to decide which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
191
191
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi there. I'm here for your second review, which is part of the gift purchased by your Secret Santa. ♡

The description you give for this poem is what caught my attention. Since this is in your non-fictional poetry file, I figured it was about your personal spiritual journey with the Goddess.

Imagery
Since I am Pagan and go to many Pagan centered events, I totally understand the dancing at midnight. The only imagery missing was the fire. Dancing around the fire to drums is pretty common in Pagan circles. Due to these elements not being there, I get the image of you giving a personal devotion through dance, whether than doing so in the coast of others.

There is also evidence that this personal ritual was for healing. This is clearly evident in the last stanzas.

Emotive qualities
I especially like how you express the Goddess holding your hand, as if she is guiding you to freedom through dance. Dancing in itself is particularly liberating, whether for spiritual reasons or not. So, the expression of it having healing qualities is very fitting.

Flow
Enjambment is done well. When read out loud, my first thoughts were that it would sound well with drums. Also, each stanza flows to the next without any confusing gaps.

Mechanics
Choosing not to use punctuation works. From my perception, there were no mispellings or word usage issues either.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed your devotional to Isis and could find no faults to bring to your attention. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself through verse. ♡







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Review of Letting Go  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Elizabeth! I'm here to conduct your reviews as part of your package in the Holiday Cheer Fundraiser. My favorite type of poetry is non-fictional because I believe the best poetry is an emotive expression of the poet and very personal. So, I searched your poetry file with a description claiming the writings were about you and your experiences. This particular poem caught my attention due to the title. Letting go told me that the poem would have to do with healing.

First thoughts
My first impression after the first read through it seemed that this was about a cleansing of the heart. In order to move on completely, we must clear all the muck away to accept the new.

Flow
This is a free verse that depends on enjambment to enhance the emotion. I feel that line breaks are done well and I didn't trip over any areas when read out loud. In addition, each subject in stanza progresses smoothly to the next stanza, with no confusing gaps.

Imagery
I like the more Pagan imagery with the Crystal. For those who use Crystals in their spiritual practices, there is an understanding that they store negative or positive energy. A heart could be described in the same way. Depending on our experiemces, it holds on to emotional energies.

Emotive qualities
Poetry should be emotive to some degree in my opinion. I felt that your personal little poem tugged at the emotions of the reader. I appreciate how the writing goes from hurt to healing. There is a strong message in your words.

Final thoughts
I liked the poem. Thanks for sharing a little piece of yourself. ♡










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Review of The Appeal  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Excellent read! I like this Farrington! Definitely the perfect revenge stoty.

The hook
You had me hooked at "finger". I love how you begin all nonchalant, and then end the paragraph with the addition to his collection being a finger. I just had to know what he did for 20k and why he had a finger.

Dialogue
Dialogue was done excelently. I felt like I was watching this transaction between the voice in his head and him. Well done.

Character development

This hitman seems like a real selfish man. He's killed someone and shows no sign of guilt, which shows that he is a true sociopath. I found myself not liking the man and finding pleasure in his demise.

We are not shown the wife much, but it is easy to equate that she is equally a bad person with the given evidence.

Scenery
There is just enough description to show the story. Anymore and it would become too wordy.

Plot
There were plenty of twists to maintain the reader's interest. That little episode with the whores was excellent, adding some imagery to the end. It was sort of simplicity too. And, the conclusion with the wife was perfect. It is easy to conclude what her outcome will be.

Final thoughts
Thanks for the entertaining read. It was a fun read from beginning to end.





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Review of I See You  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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This is so my fear, especially since I'm getting older. Stress can seriously age us. Well, in her case it was pretty extreme.

The hook
The fist few sentences do grab the reader. You address that there is an issue that she will knows she will be confronted about. I was curious about what it was.

Dialogue
You did really well with incorporating the dialogue into the actions of the story, with the addition of body language. It helped me to see the conversation between these two women more clearly.

There are areas toward the middle where italics for internal dialogue would work better. Other than that, dialogue is excellent.

Character development
The dinamics between boss and employee resembled friendship. The main character doesn't have to give an explanation, yet she cares enough about her secretary that she cares whether false conclusions are made. This tells me that she doesnt want to worry her friend.

Scenery
Since no other employees were mentioned, I imagined it was a small business.

The atmosphere in the home was shown well. It gave a dark vibe which suggested something was going to happen. Once she flicked the light on my heart raced a little in curiosity of what would happen.

Plot
The plot is good!I especially like the ending. It was unexpected. There was just one area of inconsistancy. First she tells her employee that she hadn't slept due to a nightmare from Friday, which seems as if she had a single dream that haunted her enough to make her not able to sleep. Then you expressed that she had it three consecutive days, which contridicts her first explanation.

Final thoughts
Overall, I felt this was a good story. Other than the few areas I mentioned, it is well written.

Thanks for sharing your writing. ♡









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Review of Why?  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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I'm here again to spoil you with more reviews as part of your package in the "Holiday Cheer Fundraiser. This was an interesting use of the prompt words.

The hook
The first few sentences do grab me. Though, I would suggest expanding on what there were more of in that second sentence, rather than just "them". After reading it, I imagined the dead had risen because he took something from their gravesite. Maybe "them" could be expanded to men with rotting flesh or something to that effect.

The dialogue
Dialogue was done well. There are a few areas where body language would show the story more, but overall you did really
good with the speech.

Character development
I imagine you were restricted by word count restrictions. If so, given the word count, you did well showing the characters. If you expand this some, I would suggest adding a little to the characters, mostly the husband. This way the reader is disturbed by a likable character dying or happy some pick met a demise. Since their isn't much development with his character, I don't really have any emotions about his death.

Scenery
From what I gathered, they are in a home or cabin. The husband had taken a skull from a gravesite and now the (dead?) aboriginal type men are coming to get revenge. The time period is not really specified, so I assumed it was modern times.

Plot
The plot is pretty good, especially the ending. I just feel it needs some clarity. I'm not sure if the men outside are the living dead or just angry that he stole from their ancestral gravesite.

Final thoughts
The story was interesting. I just feel it is missing some elements. Hopefully you will expand on it adding more clarity at some point. When you do, hopefully you will let me know so that I can up my rating according to repairs.










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Review of I Remember Daddy  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)

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It is so sad how people succumb to greed when prope die. This exchange between sisters seems to portray that aspect in human nature. Apparently, one was left the home, but the other is trying to be steal it in a way.

The hook
You begin with the dialogue between the two sisters, which introduces us to part of the conflict of the story. This serves well in hooking the reader.

Dialogue
The dialogue shows a lot of the characters personalities. The story is shown through the exchange of words with these two sisters. One is apparently trying to cheat the other and lying about why the father left them as children.

Character develment
You use a lot of body language that help with showing these characters. Magyn seems to be a bully, belittling her sister. Rather than respecting her, she calls her crazy. Jez seems to have a lot of confidence, which is likely to do with her understanding the truth.

Scenery
The story takes place in what I imagine to be an older home.we are not given a lot of descriptions, but there is enough to show the story.

Plot
The plot is interesting and relatable. I think that most of us who have experienced someone's passing can relate to this. The little twist at the end was pretty good.

Mechanics
There were a few word usage and grammar issues. Below are what I found.

I want to know what you, think, you remember from the night Daddy abandoned us."- commas are not needed.

Megyn gave her, younger, sister a sidelong look.- commas are not needed.

Now, if you want to here what happened that night- Hear

George, told you. Didn't her?- he

watched Magyn removed a box of groceries- remove

Jezebel sat down on the, sheet covered, couch- commas not needed

Final thoughts
This was a good flash fiction piece. There just needs to be some corrections made.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, the opinions expressed here are from only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine what advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful. As always, when you get around to making corrections, let me know and I will up my rating according to repairs.





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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

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This was an amazing article! The title is what first caught my intererest. Knowing that this was written for Project Write World, I knew it would be a cultural piece on India. The title is sort of light, but when I understood the deeper meaning of that title it weighted heavy on my heart. It is one of those aspects that always sticks with you. When I see a balloon, I will forever see that barefooted girl and her story.

This article shows the sad truth of the cast system in India, but ends with the hope for change present in newer generations. It could serve as a literary write, advocating for change.

You don't include this in your article, but those in the United States contribute to this sad system, encouraging prostitution of these young girls. Sadly, many travel to places like India because the can buy the sexual services of children. It is horrifying to me to think of this being the norm of existance for a child.

Your explanation of modern generations gives me hope that this is in the process of changing. No child deserves such a fate.

I found it interesting how you explained the way of thinking being a comfort to those who are in poverty. It encourages some heavy contemplation. I can see how the acceptance of where one is as being a punishment can serve as a comfort. When one realizes that it is an injustice and wrong, I imagine they would be less accepting of their plite and angry.


Overall excellent writing! You even include some great resources to learn more. Thank you for sharing a part of your culture to educate others.





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Review of Impervious  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

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This was an emotive read! My first thoughts with my first read through is how the step stanza format matches the words perfectly. It is as if you are expressing that hard shell being removed as she descends downward.

That carefully constructed calm, expressed in the beginning, is one I know too well. It is that void presented to protect from others looking inside. At least, that is my perception. Though, poetry is perceived through the reader's experience a lot of times.


This was a wonderful free verse! Thanks for sharing your writing.












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Review of The Quilt Block  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

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What a lovely story, Snow. I am assuming that the words in bold print are prompt words. If so, this was a creative use of the prompt. It is one of those stories that reminds the reader to appreciate those that we love.


The hook

Right away we are introduced to one of the main conflicts in the story, which is finding the letter from her mother. That is a great hook. Though, there are some unneeded descriptions in the first paragraph. We don't really need to know so much about what she did with the scissors and pin. It doesn't really add to the story. Instead, it makes it a bit too wordy.

Dialogue
Dialogue includes realistic speech. You do well adding the actions of the story, rather than the redundant said. This helps the reader see the story more.

Character development
The characters need more emotions. For example, when she notices her mother walk into the room and asks her mother about the quilt, one would think she would be shocked and emotional, yet she just seems calm as if it is a normal life event. With removing some of the wordy content about the scissors and needle, you could add these details while remaining within your word limit.

Scenery
Scenery is pretty basic, but just enough to show the story.

Plot
The plot is really good! This was an excellent use of the prompt words. Even with such a short word limit, you were able to add a twist.

Final thoughts
I really liked the concepts in this story. It was spiritual and inspirational.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, the opinions expressed here are from only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)

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I noticed that you were requesting a review on this for the Power Review Raid. It is an emotive read and I am sure it was emotional for you to write.

I imagine that your reasoning for the capital Y in you and your is to give strength to it, similar to what we do in poetry. For that purpose it works.

The story you present in the letter is a touching one. It is of a daughter who once put a lot of distance between her and her father, yet she realizes she was wrong to do that. I am happy that you made peace with your father.

The issue with this is that you use commas incorrectly throughout. To show you where would be editing the whole item for you. There are also multiple sentence fragments. I would suggest getting a good program like the most recent Microsoft Word.

Again, this is a sweet letter and your words to your father are quite emotional. There is just too many grammar issues for me to give it a higher rating. Hopefully you will take the time to correct this at some point. When you do, hopefully you will notify me. I will be happy to up my rating according to any repairs you make.




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