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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/warpedsanity/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7
Review Requests: OFF
1,142 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give reviews the way I prefer to receive them. Honesty, thoughts for improvement, and identifying strengths are aspects that I prefer from others, so I give these things in return. Rising star award
I'm good at...
I can pretty much review anything, whether poetry or short stories. My favorite genres to read are horror and the odder side of fiction, but I am open to reading other genres. If I do review a genre that is not one I particularly enjoy reading, then I am most likely going to review it based on the structure, rather than the content.
Favorite Genres
I tend to gravitate toward writings in the dark genres. With short stories and novels, horror is my favorite. With poetry, I prefer writings that display raw emotions. If your writing tackles a subject that people find offensive, I might like it.
Least Favorite Genres
Christian literature, Western, and Children's. I will NOT read or review anything that consists of XGC material between minors and adults or encourages abuse as acceptable behaviors.
Favorite Item Types
Dark poetry, horror, emotional, autobiographical, erotica, psychology
Least Favorite Item Types
Horror is one of my favorites to read and write. Also, poetry that tackles intense subject matter interests me.
I will not review...
I WILL NOT review anything that encourages abuse as acceptable behavior or includes XGC material between a minor and adult. All review requests asking me to read whole novels or later chapters will be rejected. The reason being is that I can not give a fair review of chapter 3 when I have not read the chapters before that and, the time allowance when requests for reviews are made does not allow for enough time to read a whole novel.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)

waterfall power review signature by Flight to Fantasy Signature Shop


Hi,Beholden ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest.


What I liked
These two hermits were interesting characters and the pessimistic hermit does make a good protagonist. Plus, I liked the comical revelation at the end. Honestly, I was thinking the experience conflicted with their beliefs, especially with all the conversing with people along the way and the convention, where there would be a lot of people.

Suggestions
The story was wonderful and easy to read, without a bunch of issues to trip over, but it seemed very predictable to me. Even that being the case, I do like that the weakest of the two seemed to be the smartest. *Bigsmile*

Final thoughts
Overall, this was a fun read. I really liked these characters and the premise of the story.

Thank for sharing your writing. Hopefully, you will continue to submit your writing to future contests. *Heart*
2
2
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)

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Hi,PureSciFi ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest.


What I liked
I thought that the concepts within the plot were interesting and unique. It is definitely an imaginative story for sure. Also, you adhered to the prompt. Your villain was made likable. Even though he did so for his own selfish means, his actions were for the greater good.

Suggestions
I tripped quite a bit in areas because you switch from present tense to past tense constantly throughout the whole story. Also, there are some sentence structure issues, where you use sentence fragments.

Final thoughts
This was an interesting science fiction story. I just felt that it needs some editing.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Hopefully, you will continue to submit your writing to future contests. *Heart*
3
3
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

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Hi,Royal Eduardo ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest.



Honestly, I can't find anything to not like about this story, except for the bigotry of the family. I found myself rooting for the villains in the story, even though their acts were harmful to others. Of course, they could have found their freedom through more legal means, but it was easy to see how these young men may have not seen another way out of the abuse they were living in.

Overall, you have given us a great story, with plenty of character development and a great plot that hits the reader in the gut. Great job.
4
4
Review of The butterfly  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)

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Hi,K.HBey ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest.

What I liked
I love the story itself and feel that you did well in creating a likable villain. This man did a horrible thing by stealing his wife's discoveries to claim as his own, but his remorse and love for his granddaughter make him likable. Plus, in the end, he rights some of his wrongs.

Suggestions
My chosen rating for this story is not a reflection on the ideas expressed in the story. The story itself is excellent. The rating reflects the repetitive errors in the writing. Throughout the whole story, you put exclamation marks in the incorrect place, which makes it appear like the old man is telling someone about someone saying something, rather than the actual character saying it. Yet, you make no mention of the man telling this story to someone. It appears that he is simply remembering what he did. If that is the case, then the quotation marks should be before replied, said, or any other character body language, rather than before.

Final Thoughts
I thought that this was a great story. It just needs a lot of editing. You might benefit from a free grammar program like Grammarly.

Thank you for submitting your writing. Hopefully, you will continue to submit your writing to future site contests. *Heart*
5
5
Review of Deadline  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)

waterfall power review signature by Flight to Fantasy Signature Shop


Hi,Angelica Weatherby goals on. ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest.

What I liked
I thought you did a great job adhering to the prompt. Obviously this character is not the greatest person because they were creating potions that are harmful to humans. Yet, they are likable because they end up using the potions for just means.

Suggestions
I felt there were some issues in the execution of the story. The intro is a bit wordy with a lot of telling, and some grammar issues. Plus, there are some run-on sentences, sentence fragments, and comma issues. You would benefit from using a free grammar program like Grammarly, which would catch a lot of these issues for you.

Final Thoughts
I thought the storyline was good and it adhered to the prompt. I just think it needs more editing.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Hopefully you will continue to submit to the contest. *Heart*
6
6
Review of The Summoning  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

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Hi,hullabaloo22 ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest.

What I liked

I thought there was some pretty good character development here. They sort of reminded me of the characters in the classic, The Craft. The storyline was good too, with some little twists.

Suggestions

The only likable character here is the shy girl. The other three girls seem like bully opportunists. Then, of course, the thing they summon is obviously evil. I'm thinking that you meant for the shy one to be the likable villain, but I'm not seeing how she is a villain. Maybe it is because she is into witchcraft, but personally, I don't think that is enough to make her a villain.

Final thoughts
Overall I thought this was a great story with plenty of character development and a great plot. I just don't feel that you were able to adhere to the prompt which was to create a likable villain.

Also, in the beginning, I was a bit confused about who was speaking. You might want to consider clarifying who is speaking through body language, then add the dialogue, rather than dialogue first then body language.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Hopefully, you will continue to submit to the contest. You are a good writer. *Heart*
7
7
Review of Jake  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi,Lovina 🐕‍🦺 ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest.


What I liked
I thought you did well creating sympathy for Jake. Even though his lack of stopping the crimes makes him a villian by association, one can't help but understand his reasonings. That and he Jake seems to have some morals because he understands what the others are doing is evil and is disturbed by it.


Suggestions for Improvement
You added a little slang to show that this was the old west, but I don't think it worked well enough. Adding more slang would have worked better, especially in the dialogue.

You might benefit from a good grammar editor, like Grammarly. There are multiple comma errors in the writing.

Final Thoughts
Overall, I thought this was an interesting read. I just thought it needed a bit more editing.

Thank you so much for submitting your writing. Hopefully, you will continue to contribute to the contest. *Heart*
8
8
Review of mGur on Spirit  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Oh, what a lovely little poem! With so few word allowance, you have express such deep meaning.

I believe most could identify with these words, to at least a small degree. We all at one time or another have held back that free-spirited part of ourselves for a multitude of reasons.

That last line was a perfect way to summarize the verse. It expands on the spirit, showing us that you are referring to love. At least that is how I understood it. But, like most poetry, the reader interprets upon their own experience and knowledge of the world, a lot of times. So, for me, I understood it as the writer holds back their heart.

Structurally, as far as my analysis, the poem follows the format of the form perfectly. Grammatically, it is well executed and flows beautifully.

Excellent job and good luck in the contest! *Heart*

9
9
Review of Dragon Poem  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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It is so awesome that you are motivated and doing so many of the extras within Rising Stars! You've put a lot into these pieces too and should be proud of yourself for the effort you have put forth.


First thoughts

My first thoughts after reading this the first time are that this was a cute idea. It would make for a great children's story, with pictures and such. I don't think there is a story published story about a dragon that meows yet. *Bigsmile*

Imagery
The imagery is fun and lively. I could clearly see this big, pretty blue dragon, who might seem fierce, that is until it lets out a meow, rather than a large beastly sound.

Flow
The poem flows well due to rhyme. You use some less cliche rhymes like "various" and "nefarious", too.

The only thing that threw me off a bit with the flow is that in a few places you switch the subject and predicate. For example, "Pets their owners do resemble". If the subject and predicate were not reversed it would read, "Pets do resemble their owners." Often times when the subject and predicate is reversed like that it feels forced, rather than smooth.

Mechanics
I didn't find any grammar or spelling issues, so excellent job on the editing.

Final thoughts
This was an adorable idea. I love the concept and could totally see you expanding on this dragon named Cat into a larger children's series.

Thank you for sharing! And, good luck in the contest! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of By Any Other Name  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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I ran across this while browsing the random read and reviews. To my surprise, it is also in your Rising Star folder. Apparently, you have only just written it today as one of the challenges. WdC was awfully quick with putting it in the random reviews!

The hook
Right away we are taken to one of the main dilemmas in the story, her insecurity with her given name. We all have known that one kid in school where we think, what were their parents thinking when they named them that. Kids will find anything to tease others about, why make things worse with targeting them with a horrid birth name.

This made for a good hook, especially since it added to the conclusion, where she contemplates the sound of her possible future name.

Dialogue
The dialogue was executed well, showing these characters well. Thoughts in italics, which makes them stand out hearing the words in our own heads, much like the character would.

Character Development
I liked Ruby. She is easy to relate to because, like her, most of us have some aspect in our childhood we'd like to run away from. She seems to be a bit of a romantic because she already considers how her name would sound if she marries a man she only recently met, or I should say thought she only recently met. Although, this also makes sense to her personality due to the trauma of growing up with a name, which made her a target for bullies.

Scenery
There is just enough to show the story without making things overly drawn-out. You show the most in the traffic scene, which is the most important scene in the story. This brings more attention to it and is fitting. Plus, the scenery is thrown into the actions of the story, making it an important part of the plot.

Plot
The plot is great. There are is enough twists to keep the reader curious without giving away the conclusion. The little surprise was really romantic too.

The only area that caused me to pause is when we find out her boss gave out her personal information. For me, this seemed unrealistic because it is very unprofessional and illegal.

Mechanics
I didn't find any structural issues within the writing. Well done on the editing aspect.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed this story. It is a great little story with plenty of surprises to keep the reader reading. Thanks for sharing it!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Snow! I ran across this emotive little write while browsing the random read and reviews. Your words sort of punch the reader in the gut, forcing them to see the horrors that exist.

There is some strong language here that really impact the reader. This line is especially effective:

"while on the street corners of extinction
innocence victims gather,"

Reading this line, I felt I was looking at a crowd of people gathered in an area, doing mundane things, unafraid as if they were going to have several tomorrows ahead, when in fact soon they will be dead. It is quite chilling if you think about it.

Excellent verse! Hopefully, you won that round. Thank you for sharing your writing. *Heart*
12
12
Review of Meditation on Sun  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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What a lovely little poem!

There are a few aspects that make this poem stand out to me. For one, the parallels between the darkness of the second verse and light is somewhat like an analogy in life. Even in the darkest moments, there is light.

With the second verse, there is the language that has a dreary feel then the last verse ends with the enlightenment of giving life. Then that third creates a good rhythm in this poem and a dramatic effect, right before the calming of the last verse.

Overall, a great little poem! Good luck in the contest!

13
13
Review of One Life  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I ran across this little free verse while browsing the random read and reviews. At first, after reading this, I felt that I could relate to this on many levels. Although most of the time, if the reader does not know the writer personally, we tend to interpret poetry on our own personal experiences in life or those we have been exposed to.

For me, I thought of the writer overanalyzing their choices in life. Sometimes when this happens there is no movement. The anxiety of whether the choices we see are the right ones causes us to pause and try to see what changes that choice will make in our lives. Yet, the future can not be predicted and we have to have courage, which comes from faith in order to trudge forward in hopes that it is the correct choice to make.

I think it is a poet curse sometimes to over-analyze everything, looking for the greater meaning. In a way, this poem was the embodiment of that for this reader.

No matter, if I was correct about its meaning or not, it is a great little free verse. Thank you for sharing your writing. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of The Poet  
Review by warpedsanity
Rated: E | (5.0)
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While browsing the random read and reviews, I ran across this little treasure. I absolutely love this. For me, It is showing how the poets intent many times differ from how the reader interprets it. People tend to interpret poetry upon their own personal experience, much like I am right now since I am a fellow poet.

There are some awesome metaphors in this poem. My favorite is

"But the poem
does not wrinkle
smoothed sheets."


Although at first, I saw this as how people misinterpret the writer's original intent, on second reading, I found a possible dual meaning. The poem can represent the embodiment of what poetry is. It is very personal to the creator, because like you wrote, "she arranges and stacks a preponderance of evidence against herself." When I read that line I thought of how many of us poets share aspects we normally hide from the world in our poetry. The evidence of who we are beneath the mundane surface mask we share with the world, one would only have read our hearts in verse.

An amazing poem you have here. One of the best free verse poems I've read in a while. Thanks for sharing!

15
15
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was an interesting read. Upton Sinclair was quite the activist. I'm sure he'd be screaming in his grave if he could see what is going on in the news and the political arena in modern times.

I appreciate how you show how history is repeating itself. It does seem that we don't learn from past errors, or maybe they are feeding on the lesson in another way, expanding on ways of manipulating the public view.

Reading about his influences, I couldn't help but relate because I too grew up in extreme poverty and with a parent who had an addiction. It is a hard life and like him, I too had a family with money, but on my father's side, so I saw the disparity as well. It does give one a unique and more well-rounded perspective.

This was well-written, full of informative information, and even though it is about someone in history, much of the information here is relevant to today. Plus, you use language that shows you have a great appreciation for the writer, which creates more interest in the one reading this.

Overall, great job on the assignment. Thanks for putting so much into this. You are a good writer.



Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
16
16
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


What a lovely write-up for a truly legendary writer! Hemingway was an interesting fellow. Like many artistic individuals, apparently, he was prone to depression, hence your mention of his suicide and experienced shock therapy.

I like that you post some of his writing to show some of the creative thought he is known for. In addition, you add why you chose him. It must be quite an honor to say that he is associated with your home town.

You share some information about him that I was unaware of. I guess though, I should not be surprised he was being tapped by the FBI. A lot of people were at the time due to widespread communist fear.

I especially appreciate that you share references. Due to my years in college, I guess I became a bit of a stickler for this. It is important to use the information in your own words, but give credit where credit is due.

Thank you for putting a lot of effort into this assignment. You did well with it.


Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
17
17
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi, OOT™ ! For my "a very Wodehouse challenge I've been challenged to review five fundraisers on WdC and I've chosen yours as one of them.

This is a great little raffle. I love that you feature a new group each week. It gives the opportunity to spread the love a bit more.

Another cool aspect of the raffle is that you award the one who bought the winner the tickets too. That is pretty creative and something I haven't seen in a WdC raffle before.

Visually, your template is pretty simple, but not so simple it is boring. The theme, in general, seems to match. The image with the tickets, teamed with the top image is like we are buying a vacation ticket. Plus, the image matches the season, at least in my part of the world anyway. The Spring weather has been beautiful and perfect for the lake or beach.

Something I like as well is that you put the ticket number and user in a list on the page. That way, members can visually evaluate what the winnings might be and possibly check your virtual dice roll. Some people do check the dice rolls to make sure the raffle is being fair to know whether they will contribute more in the future.

The only suggestion I would have is maybe to put the tickets bought into a dropdown menu. It would make the page cleaner and more visually appealing. Other than that, I really have no other suggestions.

Thanks for hosting this lovely raffle! I'll be buying more tickets each week for our lovely Rising Star candidates. *Heart*



18
18
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi, Amy! For my "a very Wodehouse challenge I've been challenged to review five fundraisers on WdC and I've chosen yours as one of them.

What I think is pretty neat is that you make it a daily raffle, that way people don't have to wait a whole month for their awards. Plus, more people can win.

The title is perfect for the season and catchy. I like the play on words. Plus, the top image on the forum is blingy, which adds to the lively feel spring gives.

In addition, you tend to support some great groups with your raffles. For me, this is always a plus.

I do have a few suggestions though. You seem to have forgotten to change the dates on the page. It states that the raffle is taking place in 2017 when it is actually 2019. Also, a dropdown menu showing raffle tickets bought and their number would encourage more to buy tickets. There are a few reasons this would be beneficial. One, as the number goes up, it will show an estimate of how many gift points they might win if they buy tickets. Secondly, it would also give people the opportunity to view your dice roll, since you would be using the numbers listed with the names, which would clarify to others that it was a fair win.

Thank you for hosting this great raffle. Any suggestions I have are only thoughts on making something already good better. Of course, this is the opinions of only one person. It is up to you, the author, to decide which advice to apply.


19
19
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)

This was a great little review. After reading this, I'd definetly check out the movie.

I love how you share little parts that you enjoyed like I'd see if I were watching a preview. With your descriptions, I get the gist of what the story is about, yet the whole journey these characters take is not given away so that I can experience the movie as if it is new to me. It is always disappointing when someone tells me about every detail of a movie, especially the ending before I have a chance to experience it.

Overall, great job on the assignment. I enjoyed reading your review and I just might have to find this movie to watch. *Smile*




Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
20
20
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You had me at "A mysterious killer targets women walking the streets at night; stealing body parts for reasons unknown." But, I'm a bit demented when it comes to my movie preferences and I love when they come with a "slice of cheese." *Bigsmile*

It looks like they should have given Alita some more weaknesses so that the action creates more tension. I could totally see how that would be a disappointment. And, your descriptions of what is supposed to be love scenes, I imagine were more laugh or eye-roll worthy than warm and fuzzy.

There was some good wording in here, two of which are listed above. "But it’s not all candy and sight-seeing" is another great phrase in this review.

This is actually well written with plenty of pros and cons. The only thing I would suggest was not to give the whole movie away. For example, you took the surprise away with learning that the mysterious stranger is not so safe, so when I get to that part I'll expect it, rather than be engulfed in the mystery. There are ways of expressing this without giving the scene away. You could simply write something to the effect of, "Not all is who they appear to be. Some friends are enemies in disguise" or something to that effect.

Spoilers aside, you did a good job on the assignment. It looks like an interesting movie to watch. It appears to have the right amount of B quality that I love. Yep, you read that right, B movies are the bomb.

Thanks for putting so much effort into the assignment. *Heart*



Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
21
21
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi again. *Bigsmile*

Reading your description, this sounds like a great family movie, albeit a sad one. After reading this, if I were looking for an inspirational watch, I'd check this one out. The film seems to focus on real-life struggles many of us face. There will be tears shed, but the overall theme of the poem is an inspiration through Christian morals.

The only thing I would suggest here is maybe not giving the whole movie away. There are ways to share aspects without giving specific details. For example, when you tell the reader about all of the son's failures that lead to his eventual theater career, you could simply write, "He rises above life's mishaps, finding his true calling" or something like that. Then, we know that we are going to see some inspiration, but the journey is still a surprise.

Other than that, I think you did a good job on the assignment. I like how you share that this is family friendly, even though it does have a subtopic of overcoming abuse. Then you also encourage the reader further by watching it by making sure to let them know what awards the film has received. In addition, you highlight some famous actors who are in the film. Big actors always catch people's attention.

You did well with this. Thanks for putting so much effort into the assignment. *Heart*




Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
22
22
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Although some aspects are false, some parts hit home somewhat. I am not an anti-vaxxer, but I did opt out of the HPV vaccination per recommendation of a few nurses. At the time, several young people were in the hospital with autoimmune disease due to the vaccine.

Your fictional story does show the controversy and judgment towards those like myself who make that choice. It also shows how things can get out of hand when people feel strongly for or against something. This knitters club was merely raising money to help the family and not necessarily supporting the antivaccination movement. Yet, since their child had a poor response to the HPV vaccination, their child became a poster child of sorts for the movement.

You also taught me something new. I was totally unaware of laws in place that prevent creators of vaccinations from taking responsibility for any issues that might occur. That is pretty disturbing. One would think that they should be held responsible if it is found that they knowingly put something out for the public without the proper warnings.

This was an interesting read. Honestly, if you wouldn't have made me aware of what was false and what was true, I might have believed the story to be true.

Great job. *Heart*



Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
23
23
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I'm reviewing this for my challenge in "a very Wodehouse challenge. This is truly an awesome auction/raffle, which is why I chose it as my first to review.

Design
It was smart to use a theme that is familiar to all. I mean, who hasn't read or at least watched Alice in Wonderland? It makes it memorable for those who see it in passing and they are more likely to return.Plus, you keep to the theme throughout, making it visually appealing.

It was smart to offer both an auction and a raffle. Not everyone can afford to bid on packages, so this encourages more to contribute.

Mechanics
There are no spelling or grammar issues. Also, the rules are easy to understand.

Promtness of Responces
As always, you are prompt with your responses. I don't see any anonymous gifts in your forum right now, but I know from experience you are awesome at adding a note in the forum, tagging the gifted and letting them know they have received an anonymous gift. This is why I utilize your activity when I am participating in Secret Pal or Secret Santa.

Final thoughts
This is a great fundraiser that benefits some great groups. Keep up the awesome work. *Heart*
24
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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)

*Ha* *Rolling* *Rolling* *Rolling* ! Hillarious!

I knew this was going to be great once I read the title!

"“Paul’s always acted a bit dog-like but only recently has he started to accept it. I think it was when he caught a frisbee in his mouth that Paul realized it wasn’t some quirk, this was real.” " *FacePalm* *Rolling* I almost spit my coffee out in laughter with that line.

This just got more humorous as it went. You seemed a little self-conscious about sliding this in on the last day of the week, but it is apparent you put a lot of thought into writing it.

This is relevant to today in a comical sense. Funny thing is, my guy is a white guy named Joe and the other day he announced to me that he's decided to self-identify as a Mexican and I should now call him Jose. I better not show him this or he'll decide to self-identify as a dog and howl when, well, you know. Buahaha!

Thanks for the laughs! This was five stars all the way!


Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
25
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Review of Bridget's Miracle  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi OOT™ ! This is your third review for your winning package in the "Chinese New Year Celebration. This was another wonderful story to start my day off with. It was light and fun to read.

The hook
Again, we are introduced to the conflict. She's witnessed a miracle and I wanted to read to the end to find out what it was.

Dialogue
The dialogue was executed exceptionally well in this story. It was mostly thrown into the actions of the story, which made it feel like I was watching the story unfold, rather than just being told someone said something.

Character Development
There is a ton of character development in this one. With such a short word count you were able to develop four characters without it getting too confusing. That is not an easy thing to do.

Both the mother and father seem like typical stern parents. They neglect to listen, only focusing on the fact that she is hanging out with someone she was told not to. Also, the father seems judgmental because of him judging the friend due to the mistakes of her parents.

The brother appears immature in the way he teases her. The teasing he inflicts on her felt realistic. It is realistic to sibling rivalry.

Scenery
There isn't a ton of scenery shown, but the scenery there is thrown into the actions of the story, rather than being long drawn out descriptions that the reader would skip over. For example, the father sitting behind the newspaper is shown into the actions of the story before he begins to lecture her.

Plot
The plot is interesting. I felt sorry for her when nobody would listen to her. Apparently, she had witnessed something important or else she wouldn't be so distracted that she'd unknowingly spill water all over the floor. Then when we find out what it is, it is something totally unexpected. I had to giggle at how she chose to tell them, which suggests that others are reading her secret stuff.

Mechanics
I didn't see any issues to address. Unlike the other two stories, this one has more of an active voice due to the lack of the word was and there is also a lot of showing, rather than telling, which helps the reader see what is going on more clearly.

Final thoughts
Overall, great story. It was a fun and entertaining read.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed raiding your port the past few days. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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