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251
251
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there 💙 Carly
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering February's Slam Cupid, Intentionally bad poetry. The object of this contest is to write the worst poetry possible to get the coveted 1-star rating. *Bigsmile*


My First Impression:

I liked the title, "Conjured Heartbreak." I entered the poem with visions of some really horrible Cupid Slamming about to happen. *Shock2*

Further Impressions:

I couldn't help myself. I had to read and reread this poem trying to find something to sink my teeth into that would grab me in a way to deal out a one-star. This is the purpose of the contest. However, I found there was so much saving grace, so well-penned and filled with imagery, I just didn't have the heart to down-rate this poem.

It really is a good poem! Dark, as love can have a darker side that doesn't involve the Cupid arrow. It shows many points (not arrows) about the disappointment of love and the heartbreak.

Did I miss something? This poem is well crafted and rather deep. Much more so than Cupid deserves.

My Dilemma:

I know the object of this contest is to find the baddest of the bad out of available 1-star ratings, but I think this poem deserves better ratings. If it were to be covered with 1-star ratings, it would have a difficult time recovering. And I repeat, it's much better than a 1-star rating. The ratings you have brought it up to 3-stars, far removed from the needed 1-star. I think it's better than 3 stars (average), so my rating should get it lifted a bit for you.

So, not to pull down your ratings any more, I am giving this a 5-star rating for being a fine poem that allows the reader to actually feel the emotions that come through woven within the lines. It did not truly "Slam" Cupid as it took a more serious path. It is dark, but well-written. Cupid does make a showing but merely as a character for whom one blames when love turns bad, not the sickly-sweet character we imagine during this contest. *HeartBroken*

Thank you again for entering the contest. We Slam Cupid annually in February. Do join in, again. *Smile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
252
252
Review of Cupid Plucks  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Words Whirling 'Round
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Bigsmile*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our February SLAM CUPID, 1-STAR Poetry Month prompt!

Initial Impressions:

Loved the first lines with the rhythmic rhyme and use of alliteration. I knew at that moment the rest of the poem would be a fun read. Good way to hook a reader! *Bigsmile*

Further Thoughts:

This poem was quick and quirky and totally falls within giving Cupid the old Slam! It was a humorous read all the way until the end.

Parting Thoughts:

Got a kick out of this:
"Candy, gifts, and banjo muse all failed to impress her
but still his urges Rose again, Beau wanted to undress her." *Rolling*

Conclusion:

Your intentionally bad poem did what it intended to do -- it was awfully bad, yet terribly good at producing images in the mind of the reader about Cupid and Rose. The one with the thorns beats the one with an arrow who can't put his hands on his thorny love interest! *Laugh*

As you might guess, it is a difficult job for the judges to pore through the pits of Hades to find the best of the worst. Yup, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it!

Good luck with the contest!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
253
253
Review of A letter to Cupid  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (1.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Sumojo
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thanks for entering February's Slam Cupid, intentionally bad poetry contest, where one-star is coveted. *Bigsmile*

Initial Impression?

*Rolling**Rolling*

Further Thoughts:

Okay, this was a cleverly crafted version of bad-poetry, whereas the reader seems to be lulled into the warmth of lovely rhyming couplets only to be smacked alongside the sleeping mind and pulled into reality.

It takes a trained bad-poetry mind to sift through the smoke screen and see the BAD! *Shock2*

This is a bad-poetry contest prompt. Despite the cute couplets about modern day dating online, which should be a real lesson for Cupid to learn, the one-star rating wormed its way through to my brain. I mean, that is the purpose of the Slam Cupid, contest, right? *Smirk*

Parting Thoughts:

So, although I hate to have to break apart the lovely shiny stars you got ... I just can't resist giving this the coveted badge of honor ... 1-Star! *Star* This is why the contest exists, is it not? *Smirk2*

As you might realize, it's difficult for us judges to find the baddest of the bad that is also soooooo good in its badness. *Ha*

Good Luck!

Until next time--Slam On! *Smirk2*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
254
254
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Prosperous Snow celebrating
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thanks for entering our Slam Cupid contest in February! *Bigsmile*

What I loved:

I loved the various rhyme schemes within the lines of the poem. It is great to think outside the box, yet try to keep the flow and rhyme captivating! *Think*

Also Loved:

The horribleness of being caught up within intentionally bad poetry!

This was fun to read and also let out an audible Groan.

Observation:
A little typo? Perhaps part of the being bad, but in case not I highlighted it. *Wink*
"Go ahead a[nd] sue me, if you must."

Parting Thoughts:

You had me hooked at this line:

"I know your love interest isn't a dog!
Lady, it isn't my fault you kissed a frog!"

Good one! *Laugh*

This poem is bad, really bad. I'm surprised it got such high ratings! *Shock2*

As you know, it is a difficult job for us judges to pore through the bottom of the pit to choose the very worst of the worst. *Headbang*

Good luck with the contest! *Rabbit2*

Until next time -- Slam On ... or not. Must save up some more bad stuff for next February, too! *Ha*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
255
255
Review of Swinging Fairy  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Princess Megan Rose GOT Fox
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the random Read & Review.*Smile*

I love the magical quality of your prose-poem. You describe the fairy and the little creatures sitting on her lap on the swing. They are good friends and love nature and the beauty of their surroundings.

The cat and the bunny get along just fine in this fairy's world. They can share a space on her lap without fighting.

You filled the reader's mind with fantasy of a perfect world. The colors and gardens and trees all come to life with the swing on the tree and the red-haired fairy and her friends.

Loved the images at the bottom of the poem. They fit beautifully within your descriptive lines.

Well done! *Fairy*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
256
256
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Princess Zelda
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our January photo prompt contest. *Bigsmile*

First Impression:

I loved your title! Beauty in the Bleakness.That really does reach out and get the reader's attention. I love that you chose to point out that even in the bleakness of winter there is some beauty that is mesmerizing. I loved watching the snowfall from the comfort of my hearth and home. I hated the aftermath of having to shovel out my walkway. *Laugh* Now, I spend winters in Florida and look at wintry pictures sent from New England, have a momentary missing of the snow, and quickly get over it as the sun warms my skin and the ocean waves crash ashore. *Ha*

Further Impressions:

Your poem was very succinct, well-balanced in the rhythm department and yet, managed to paint a huge picture for the reader to view. I saw the falling snow flakes, it took me back to those wintry times, years ago.

Loved This Line:

"You choose not to be brooding and bitter,"

"Brooding" "bitter" Great combining of words for impact.

Parting Thoughts:

I enjoyed your poem and your interpretation of the Photo Prompt.

Well done! *SuitDiamond*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
257
257
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there brom21
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our January Photo Prompt. *Bigsmile*

Initial Impressions:

You opted for the short story rather than poetry based on the prompt. Your story would lead your reader to someplace frosty yet magical!

Further Impressions:

The characters could be pictured in the mind's eye because the descriptions made it easy to do so.

Observation:

Griselda tried to reach out but she could [not] move.

Suggestion:

I know there was a 2000 Word Count limit. However, I think this story could have been tightened-up a bit. There was a lot of busyness surrounding the story. I know Griselda was compelled to find her brother and save him. I think the beginning of the story needed to move on quicker. Introduce her father and that Nathan's missing and it would be futile to go after him. Get her on her journey sooner, perhaps add more layers to the travels and develop more of the magic involved, the locket and Sulta.

Further Thoughts:

One little photo brought action, adventure and love of family and specifically, Griselda's love for her brother and his safety. She had an ability to hear his cries for help after he disappeared, and knew she had to save him no matter how dangerous it would be.

She's a likeable character who put her life on the line for her family. Her brother Nathan? Not such a person of good integrity. He was willing to sell-out for fortune and power. Nevertheless, he saw the mess he was in and had to face the consequences. Of course, his sister protected him and family's good name.

Parting Thoughts:

This was quite an interesting take on the prompt. In the end, it is a story about one sibling's loyalty to the other, and great bravery.

Well done! *CastleRight*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
258
258
Review of Winter Impact  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, jaya

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our January picture prompt contest! *Bigsmile*

Initial Impressions:

I love the vision you painted in my mind of one looking outside the window while the cold snap of winter made its presence known.

Further Impressions:

I love how you twist it up a bit by describing palm trees in the Caribbean, the ultimate picture of warmth and sunshine, its beckoning beauty calling out to visitors to come join in the fun. However, the reader is reminded it is winter's frosty chill that really exists at the moment of looking outside that window."


Observation:

"a pictures of palm fringed-"


Parting Thoughts:

"a vista of reposing beauty"
"ensconced in the warm interior"
"not ostentatious, nor flaunted"

Beautifully penned words that weave the scenario together effortlessly. The home is warm and cozy and the exterior is icy and hazardous, symbolizing two totally different states of being from one side of the glass to the other.


Well done! *SuitDiamond*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
259
259
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Redtowrite
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering the January picture prompt contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

The reader can glean by the title and brief description that this poem would fall into the darker side of life as 2021 approached. It brings about questions of whether there would be a more joyful year ahead, or would the discontent linger through another year. "Deathly quiet" sends chills up the spine. When thoughts of the past year flash back to being locked down and missing out on friendly, human contact due to the Corona Virus, one can't help but interpret it as a deathly quiet that can strike anytime and change the lives of families forever.


Loved these lines:

"Memories hang in icy air.
One last cold breath."

Very strong descriptions. They have impact adding to the depth of darkness and despair of the loss of so much.


Observations:

Green grass is gone to stay. A little confusing "gone to stay" I think you mean it won't return but it does make me pause. *Think* [Perhaps "green grass is gone away?"]

"Lost loved one by one." [lost loves? or lost lovers?]

Parting Thoughts:

Your poem hit on the icy image that was the prompt and magnified the darkness and chills, left behind of those hiding within the confines of their homes.

Much to ponder from these lines!

Well done! *PenP*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
260
260
Review of A Place to Hide  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Angel&Witch

Hello there Angel
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our January Picture Prompt contest! *Bigsmile*

Initial Impressions:

Your title and brief description alert the reader to be prepared for something mysterious and perhaps horror-filled nightmare involving a child and the need to escape and hide.

Good hook! *Hook*


Observations:

"but wit[h] so few places to hide,"

"the girl crouched behind a Bush,"["bush" not capitalized, unless she was crouched behind a former president *Laugh*]

"gagged a[n]d tied before she had a clue what was happening."


"She had no idea who had done this but there was no way she was hanging around to find out. Also, the girl needed a hospital urgently before she succumbed to hypothermia, or her injuries."

This paragraph is a bit wordy. Try condensing it to bring forth the most important parts first, such as the need to be hospitalized. The way it's written, it almost downplays the urgency of medical help. *Sob*

Further Thoughts:

*Pencil* There were some interesting ideas being played out in this story. The thing that I believe needed more attention was descriptions of character and development of plot including more fleshing out of the mysterious kidnapper, and how and why she was allowed to escape. Is he toying with her? These are things that add to the reader's ability to visualize the characters.

*Paperdoll* The tone of the story did jump out, however, that only keeps the reader's attention for so long. Without more development of characters and scenes, it leaves the reader with too many questions.

*Thought* There was definitely more room in the word count to fill in some of the missing parts of the story line. And several more days before the deadline to do some editing.

Parting Thoughts:

This story has a great deal of potential. It just needs a little more time spent on editing and taking into consideration some of the suggestions above.

The ending is especially interesting as a reader knows there is more to fright out there should the story be continued. *Smirk*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
261
261
Review of The Ballroom  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there SeanFear
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the random Read & Review.

Initial Impressions:

I loved the feeling of ebb and flow in the rhythm of your poem. Talk about holding a woman within his heart and carrying that torch forward for many years! He just felt the time wasn't right to settle down, just yet.

Further Thoughts:

I simply adored the refrain. It kept the poetic ties connected and reminded the reader about the girl left behind.

Observation:

I had to change the content rating on your item. The use of the phrase "the drunk men" is a non-E phrase due to the reference to alcohol inebriation .. No mention of the act of drinking/getting drunk on alcoholic beverages can be in "E" rating. It cannot be ASR either, thus 13+.

Parting Thoughts:

I loved your choice of words, the rhythm of the poem and the huge picture painted within the verses for the reader to enjoy. I could put a face to the characters and you did a fabulous job setting the tone along with a bit of wit!

Good job! *Bigsmile*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
262
262
Review of Mirror, Mirror  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Anni Pon
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the random Read & Review! *Smile*

Initital Thoughts:

I was convinced by the "mirror" in the title and the opening lines of the poem that this was an introduction of a vampire character. Boy was I on the wrong path! It just goes to show you that although vampires don't see their reflections in a mirror, and commonly despise garlic, doesn't mean all beginnings of mirrors and garlic lead to a vampire! *Ha*

Further Thoughts:

I enjoyed the building up of the philosophical look at narcissism, and how much time of one's life can be devoted to "self-love." Pride is one of the deadly sins, after all. *Devilish*

Observations:

I saw the poem get stronger as it went on. Thus, even though I thought the opening stanza was a little weak at pulling-in the reader, the unfolding of the truth as being described through the looking glass gave it much more depth. *GemBL*

Suggestion:

Perhaps another opening line-word other than "Sometimes" being repeated would be a plus. *Wink*

Parting Thoughts:

I loved the comparisons of envy of one actress' perfection of certain body parts and the person finding flaws with their own body. It clearly shows an obsession to become that which they feel is ultimate beauty. They look only skin deep with aid of the mirror. *Mask3*

Conclusion:

Wise words from a worn-out mirror, used for purposes of selfish obsession. However, the things that have been shown to the mirror are a truth that the user could not bear to accept.

Well done! *HotBalloon3*

Welcome to WDC! *Books2*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
263
263
Review of Lazy Larry  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!

The Character:

And what a character he is -- Larry, the lazy elf.
He is the unkempt elf who hated to work and tried remaining behind in his bed when all the other elves at Santa's workshop went off to work.

He had been warned that his laziness would not be tolerated. When he finally arrived to work he was given a couple jobs working with toy trains. He did a lazy job of that and was finally reported to Mrs. Claus. *Laugh*

I like that the Missus knew exactly how to teach Larry a lesson never to be forgotten. Larry was sent to the stalls to upkeep and feed the reindeer.

Larry tried to shirk his duties there, but got a "kick-start" so-to-speak, by the head reindeer himself, Rudolph.

Further Impressions:

This was a cute read. It has a wonderful message woven within about doing one's job and maintaining cleanliness and good character.

Parting Thoughts:

Larry was prevented from ruining the toys that would go to children that Christmas. He learned his lesson with the help of a very demanding reindeer with a swift kick. He also worked his way back into Mrs. Claus' good graces.

Christmas was saved! *Bigsmile*

Well done!


Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Witchlegs1*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
264
264
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello there, Mulungi
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!


The Character:

Charlie, a precocious youngster who was street-wise and jaded about life following the death of his parents and his being placed in multiple foster homes, the most recent domicile had alcoholic foster parents.

Charlie was teased due to his constant change in foster homes, and inability to attain good grades no matter how hard he tried.

Nevertheless, Charlie is a lovable character, and although he didn't believe in Christmas, he didn't want other children to suffer from its attempted sabotage by a couple of Christmas thieves, so he went after them to put a stop to it.


Observations:

it was mid night[midnight, one word]. It was time for Santa to pick the good kids’ gifts.

"As for Charlie’s former parents, they celebrated Christmas like they always did; they got DRANK." [DRUNK]Unless someone made a smoothie out of them. *Laugh*

Parting Thoughts:

What a great adventure for this young man. He deserved it! *Bigsmile* I loved how Charlie got the convincing of his life in the most special way from Santa himself.And, that he found a true home to be happy and enjoy his childhood with Christmas being believed in again.

Good job!

Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Witchlegs1*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
265
265
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello there, Roari ∞
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!

The Character:

What a character Elfenezer is! *Laugh*

He portrays a disgruntled elf who believes he should have been chosen over Kringle to be Santa.

Partners in Crime:

Doug and Noble, agreed to conspire with Elfenezer to sabotage Santa's route to deliver all the nice list names and replace the route with the naughty, thus putting a mess into the whole marketing success of Christmas, and, putting the blame for the mess-up on Santa, himself.

Happy Days Again!

A several reindeer clued Santa in on the destructive plan, and Elfenezer and partners were sentences to five years behind candy cane bar imprisonment! *CandycaneR*

Parting Thoughts:

You followed the prompt, well with your Elfenezer character, and the planned threat of a very serious crime at Santa's workshop.


Well done!


Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Witchlegs1*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
266
266
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!



This story definitely followed the prompt someone about to commit a serious crime at Santa's work shop. I must say threatening to potentially kill a child is a serious crime.

There was a character, a man with a Tek-9 under his jacket. He seemed non-nonchalant about the whole, "killing a kid" thing. Even Santa had a difficult time wrapping his mind around it not being some kind of joke. However, it is written under the "Comedy" genre. So, figured the set-up would play out all the way to the punchline. I do enjoy comedy, and parts of this story had its humorous moments, but there also seemed to be something missing in the whole delivery of it.

Observations:

He looked around, trying to see if they were gone. Had it worked? Was he truly in control?
Just then, he looked around and saw that a small boy was standing behind him, looking like he wanted candy. There's a whole lot of "looking going on, here. Perhaps tighten up this paragraph to knock out the repetitiveness of similar phrases and/words.

“For your gift?” siad [said] Santa.

Additional Observations:

It would be advantageous for your reader if you clicked a couple spaces between paragraphs. It makes it much easier to read on WDC, breaking up the format so it doesn't look like a wall of words with nothing to break it up.

It may just be me, although I reread this story and still, it seems to be a little disconnected. It's difficult to tie up the scenes neatly in my mind. Santa,the murderous suspect, the intended killing of a child? The FBI question Santa under the word of an anonymous reporting about him? I'm still trying to untwist some of these events.

My thoughts, most likely a futuristic scenario where things can be done electronically without need for Santa to be at any workshop where children would need to stand in line. Still having a problem grasping the true context for the kid-killing, whether for real or part of a game, play, prank, etc.


Parting Thoughts:

A bit more editing taking into consideration things discussed above, writing tighter and streamlining your story making it flow better.

Conclusion:

There were a couple amusing parts in the story. Mrs. Claus enters the interrogation room. Although there seemed to be some tense moments with a crime about to take place and children all around with their parents, the ending was a bit jolly, and a sort of "Gotcha" from Santa realizing the agent was curious about his gift.

Perhaps this was the reason they took Santa aside -- to question him about their desired gift for Christmas while the other guy was playing a part to cover up what they were doing.

It has some interesting potential, though! *Bigsmile*


Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Witchlegs1*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
267
267
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there, Anna Marie Carlson
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!

Initial Impressions:

This was definitely about an interesting character. He was a stranger to town and gave the townspeople a weird feeling whenever he was around them. They couldn't quite put their finger on it, but it was definitely an uncomfortable feeling. His name is Lyon Coldstone; (A play on the name -- Stone Cold. *Wink*)

Turns out, they were right to mistrust this character. He had a plan to ruin Christmas by stealing away all the gifts that were to be delivered from Santa's workshop. I like that the town pulled together to help bring back the joy of Christmas.

Other Characters:
Emelina, a Caring individual who was determined to help make Deserae's Christmas special. Deserae is a special needs child and was happy to be a friend of Emelina.

Emilina found a storage area that was filled toys and the town quickly retrieved them and delivered them to the children.


Observations:


ColdStone OR Coldstone? I think capitalizing the "S" on stone is not necessary and not grammatically correct, since it's not a name with a Mac or Mc , etc,where the start of both are capitalized. The name should be capitalized at the start not at start and in the middle of the name if it's to be believed that this character is regular guy not some character of a character, like WebWitch.*Laugh*

Also, you do spell it once or twice as Coldstone without the second capitalization. I realize you want the reader to get the "Stone Cold" emphasis, but it was not hard to decipher. *Wink*

There are a few spots that could have been tightened-up a little in sentence formations.

Parting Thoughts:

You followed the prompt handily. The story had a lot of heart and love woven within. It sounded like a beautiful place to live, especially at the holidays.

Nice job! *Smile*



Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Witchlegs1*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
268
268
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello there, THANKFUL SONALI 17 WDC YEARS!
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!

I love that your story puts the love and caring back into the whole Santa scenario filled with commercialism.

The Character:

Easter Bunny, I'm shocked to report is the culprit who committed a serious crime at Santa's workshop. The toys had been meddled with so as to make them unworkable and to make the children sad at Christmas. After all, he never got the attention he needed while growing up, thus others do not deserve the attention that is given to them.

Further Thoughts:

The Bunny did have a conscience as he pleaded guilty and avoided a trial. He was on TV, though, which gave him some attention, albeit as an infamous destroyer of holiday happiness.

Saving Grace:

Mrs. Claus is quite the generous, loving spirit. she knew that offering kindness would do more than punishment of the Bunny. She understood his need for love and attention, and invited him to a New Year's party.

This changed his life for the better, and he would never cause trouble for the children by messing with Christmas, again!

Nicely penned. Great Children's story, too!


Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Witchlegs1*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
269
269
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello there, LightinMind
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!


First Impressions:

Your title and brief description grabbed my attention. Words like "last elf" and "global conspiracy" which involves Santa Claus, made me anxious to read what was before me.

The Character:

Legolas, a 3-foot tall, hundred year old, lab created elf. He is a likeable character who actually has a good character and pure intentions.He was pursuing the true meaning of Christmas, which was lost over the centuries as gift giving became more commercialized.

His Mission:

His intent is to destroy the AI which wiped out all the jobs of the mostly deceased elves, who took control of Santa's workshop and began its corporate manipulations of the season for greedy purposes.

Other Characters:

Clare, the human, who is a professor of genetics, and had the knowledge to fill-in the history of the creation of Santa and the elves.

Mention was made of Dobbins, a 200 year old, dead elf who was his former roommate and whom he apprenticed with during the mass marketing to be done for the holidays.

Observations:

"Clare had always been nice to him yet it was hard to be the object of someones [someone's] compassion, a harmless friend to be pitied."

I enjoyed the concept of the story, which is taking back the spirit of Christmas and its true meaning. The AI/human blend of lab creation through aborted fetuses -- a something to definitely cringe about.

There seemed to be a lot of information and details woven within which tend to bog the reader down a bit.I wonder if this could have been written a little tighter, leaving out characters that were a mere mention. Trying to keep together who created Santa, Da Vinci? Dobbins wrote the script for classic Christmas books? The thing is, I had to go back a reread some spots to get the full picture.

Parting Thoughts:

I loved that Legolas had a good friendship with Clare and would manage to be with her again. Although, the method of getting him back to Ireland was quite a big-bang! *Shock2* However, mission was completed, AI's job at Santa's work shop ended there.

All in all, quite a creative story with truth woven into it, as big corporations do take over the spirit of Christmas with their plans to convince parents to buy expensive toys to make that what Christmas is all about.

Good job!
Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Angelic*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
270
270
Review of Ryan's Gift  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Aurthor
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering!

The Characters:

Buddy, as the mischievous, the school bully, and particularly one who despised Ryan. Ryan had everything he could want in his own life, from parents who were together and loved him and gave him a perfect homelife in Buddy's eyes. Buddy had a strained homelife with his divorced parents and bouncing from one parent to the other. Strange magic shops are involved to boo!*Wand*

Ryan:

Ryan, although bullied by Buddy, knew Buddy was acting out due to his less than desirable homelife. He even made and extra sandwich so both he and Buddy would have a decent luch that would have been stolen by Buddy, otherwise. *Ha* Ryan is the kindhearted, unselfish character in the story. It is further shown in the ending of the story.

Observation:

"...so he made sure [to] say thank you as he accepted her meticulous handiwork."

Parting Thoughts:

I loved the ending! Buddy would be taught a lesson with his Christmas gift that would be totally surprising, yet well-deserved because he wished such nastiness to be directed toward Ryan.

Santa knows -- he always knows the naughty ones from the nice ones!

Well done! *Snow5*

Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Angelic*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
271
271
Review of An Unusual Letter  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Angel
This is a "The WDC Angel Army" Review! *Angel*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our December Holiday Rush contest! *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

The brief description got my curiosity. An unexpected place receiving an unusual letter. I had to know where this place was. *Ha*



Further Thoughts:

So much was revealed in this holiday letter, it kept the reader involved. The characters could be pictured easily, making it more real to the reader.

The letter itself was informative and thoughtful to the recipient, supposedly her husband who is away due to his work.

Of course local politics as well as those abroad, plus the Covid pandemic were discussed as 2020 was that sort of year. *Pthb*


Prompt Followed?

Yes!You chose the holiday letter prompt.

RULES FOLLOWED?

Word Count within 500? I can't say because the word count was not included. *Sob*


Parting Thoughts:

This was quite a spirited holiday letter. It packed a lot of info, but, the best was yet to come!

LOVED the surprise ending of the location where this letter was to be sent!!!

PRICELESS! *Devilish*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
272
272
Review of My 2020  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, The Puppet Master
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank yo for entering our December Holiday Rush prompt! *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

I enjoyed your holiday letter. It was uplifting to read. 2020 could be a complete downer so far as the inconveniences, lock-downs and a Covid scare-level beyond that of the haunts you performed in at the church's haunted house. However, that sounds like lots of fun to be a part of! *Ha*

Further Thoughts:

Your letter is also inspirational. It was lovely reading about your mom's renewed interest in going back to church with you. Although the whole eater leak and moldy bathroom running you out of your home was not the greatest situation for you.

Observation:

" I used to do a haunt that ran from 2001-2012 and 2013-2014 before it closed."
Wouldn't that be from the years 2001-2014? Or did it stop at 2012 and start-up again a year later? Just wondering where the time-line break was.

Rules Followed?

You followed the rules handily with your choice of doing a holiday letter , plus, you added the word count.

Parting Thoughts:

Fun read! It is a mixture of faith, hope and the arts! *PaintBrush*


Good Job! *Delight*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
273
273
Review of A Ghostly Mistake  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Jeannie Cheering for Martel
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our December Holiday Rush contest! *Bigsmile*

Wow, this was a unique read. *Shock2*

You chose the prompt option of receiving a "gift" meant for another that had surprising results. I must admit, the results were surprising! *Ha*

You also wove in some horror along with the possibility of a new romance budding out of the whole evil spirit, possessed doll. *Smirk*

Great way to twist the holiday theme along with chills and thrills!

You know, 2020 was scary enough with the year from hell. You managed to make it even scarier as the holidays approached!

Good job!

Happy 2021, Jeannie. *Smile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
274
274
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our December Holiday Rush contest! *Bigsmile*

You sure hit the nail on the head about 2020 and Covid. Lives were churned-up, destroyed, heartbreak and feelings of helplessness were noted from country to country. Luckily your step-mom had you to help her out during the pandemic. It's good to know she is fine.

You followed the prompt handily, choosing to write the holiday letter prompt. It was a good twist your addressing the letter to the Corona Virus personally! *Smirk*

Many of the hardships caused by this pandemic have been addressed in your letter. Love the strong resolve at the end of the letter.

Nicely done! *Cool*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
275
275
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello there, Prosperous Snow celebrating
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering the December Holiday Rush Prompt!

This was indeed hilarious. I loved the unapologetic holiday letter sent to friends. It was that kind of year where I believe many of us would approach a holiday letter we were writing, as well.

Funny beyond super funny -- the cause of the plumbing back-up.

Observations:

There are a few typos/punctuation issue. Nothing overly problematic, just binging your attention to them. *Wink*

"by products" I believe there should be a hyphen between these two words.

"While they are here the[y] feed the one-armed bandits..."

"The plumbers had to turn [off]the water, to the entire complex, off while the[y] worked on the drains."

*Knob* This was such a fun read! I enjoyed the zombies and the chocolate fascination, the plumbing issues and the general humor of the letter.

The letter could be fiction or non-fiction. You wrote this letter in a way to make the reader believe some of these things actually happened to you. Perhaps the plumbing issue of the guy occupying the only studio apartment in the complex sounded too real not to believe! *Laugh*

Good job following the prompt and making it a pleasure to read! *Hotair*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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