 
Hello there, billwilcox
This is a Review! 
 What dragged me into your story?
I ran across your story on the newsfeed. It was a while back, I read it right away with the full intent of getting this review in. So now, after the life's interruption delay, here I am. 
Initial Thoughts:
"fading flashlight" snap of a "dead branch"shadws ..."alive and menacing" not to mention "running for their lives"
 With teasers like that in the brief introduction above the story, how could I not take the bait? 
 Does Snooping Pay?
Perhaps the guys thought of it more as exploring than snooping or spiritual trespassing, but nothing good can come out of disturbing an old Indian burial ground. However, a shiny new object was liberated by one of the guys.
Fright in the Night!
 Yup, crime doesn't really pay. It definitely disturbs one's sleep. Things that go bump in the night, fading light, while running for your life over tough terrain -- this really paints vivid and frightful images for the reader. 
 My favorite Scariest Part:
"They left the structure the same way they entered, on all fours and closing their eyes to keep any stray branches from scratching them. It was at that time, Jesse felt the most vulnerable, half expecting something to grab him and pull him back in"
Okay, this hit me with super panic fear of suffocation. Having to crawl into a small opening already hit my claustrophobia. Not knowing what lies beyond the crawl, or how long one would be stuck in such a vulnerable position, or how quickly one can escape, all makes the heart beat faster. Great fear inducer that makes this reader cringe! 
Observations:
Will the real Jesse please stand up!
Jessie/Jesse?
"Jessie Spinone "
"Jesse felt a chill,"
It appears he is given the name "Jessie" in the beginning of the story, but then as the story progresses, it becomes to "Jesse."
Light Focusing:
"but it was so dark, he had to focused [focus]it on the ground to keep from falling. Luke ran next to him."
Parting Thoughts:
Bill, this read is a chiller-thriller! Your story comes alive and reaches the reader to the core. It has mysticism, horror and youth getting in trouble, done in a classic Stephen King manner. Really fine story, well-developed, well described, characters that could be imagined in the mind's eye, and location, location, location! Woods, gnarly trees, grave sites, trinkets and symbols ... Vulnerable guys who are curious, yet dumb. Never crawl into anything unless you know what's at the end of the tunnel.
Conclusion:
Racing heart and beads of sweat -- one of your finest spine-chillers yet! 
Until next time--write on!
Regards,
WebWitch 
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I'm a winter child, too, although I'm in February. But I loved reading about such a special birthday, the night before Christmas. The light of saving grace was shone upon you. I could feel the love, faith and spirit woven within the lines of your poem. 
Simply beautiful There's a feeling of awakening reading this. Yet it brings some sort of peace within. I felt the mood of the poem brought that spiritual flair to it that makes a reader pause and contemplate their own birth time on the calendar as well as what unknown meaning it has for each of us if we just stay quiet and ponder it.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
This gripped my heart so deeply. I felt the sting of tears forming in my eyes. What a brave and loving thing you have done for your beloved wife.That had to be the most difficult hours of your life!
It's much easier, I suppose, to call in the paramedics and let them take her away and try their mechanical means of keeping her alive for how ever long, dragging the ticking clock of death slowly. 
It was a very precious moment you shared with the readers. You put her feelings ahead of your wishes -- to call in for help. She had made up her mind and wanted you by her side, not strangers. She wished for your hand to be her strength when moving to the other side of this corporal life. 
I guess if there's something I would have liked to see, is a bit more back and forth between Misty and the human that was a bit more scenarios and descriptions. A way to show us readers Misty's personality rather than telling with shorter dialogue. A little more story within the dialogue I guess I'm trying to say to extend some of the scenes.
I am also reviewing your item because I was looking for some lighthearted birthday items to review for my task in "
I found this item both charming and adorable. I so remember those days when my daughters were young and thrilled about their impending birthdays. It seems the girls were more involved in making sure everything was set and ready for them. My son, just knew it would be special and left all the preparations to Mom.
I could picture my youngest daughter, Hope, and how she was so curious about gifts, and cakes and colors as the theme. Elizabeth made me think of her when I read it.
It is a flash fiction, big story picture with fewer words, but the reader gets it.
Fall has always been a welcoming season for me in New England. The cool crisp air, the scent of apples and cinnamon wafting from the kitchen, the gateway to the holidays!
Yeah, well, I'm done with that! I also suffer from the wrath of arthritis stabbing my joints when the cold season comes. After one particular winter, we threw some luggage in the old SUV and headed South. Didn't know where we'd end up, but wouldn't stop until it was sunny and soothing warm.
Loved your free verse. It plays like and orchestra that lulls the reader in with a sweet melodious tune of the string section. Then, bang! The percussion section storms in and brings us to the harsh realization that the kindness has ended. Fierce frigid finger of winter points an icy dagger in our direction and with it comes the pain. 
So happy to be away from it all during snow shoveling season! Once the foliage finishes its full autumn bloom, it is but a memory in my rear view mirror as I head South to where the sun awaits.
Your dad was truly dedicated and did well in S.A. up until retirement. He sounds like a person who couldn't "just retire" and continued to work part time back in England. I can see why his was given the title "a good man." He raised a fine son, after all!
Yeah, poetic terms and strict forms -- not my cuppa, either. I write what I feel where poetry is concerned.
I loved the feel of days gone past. It's a nostalgic view of more innocent times, life in black and white so to speak. Perhaps even a "Pleasantville," feel, except this is for real. Leave it to Beaver childhood memories fill my mind.
You have so much experience and knowledge to share, both in faith and in years of living along with military service and service to God.
Truthfully, this is a blog filled with information and it introduces us to YOU, your life and times. However, being on the judging end of reading the entries, I would suggest breaking up the entries a little better. I think they got very lengthy and it became harder to to get through them. Some of these entries could be ended with "to be continued tomorrow." I'm not saying they are wrong to be long, just that you would get more readers if you broke them up and focused on a particular issue in each of them. 
The whole girlfriend attraction as a young boy was so precious! My heart sank as your parents told you you couldn't go to the party. More on the subject could follow in another entry. Hit the highlights for a contest, expand on another entry. Keep your readers wanting more rather than giving them all the answers in one entry.
The added nostalgic photos, videos, music embedded within. They were priceless additions to go along with your descriptions of youth and growing up in the fifties and sixties.
Re-Google-tration (love that title!) for finding one's ancestry, all fun reads, informative and engaging! Good job!
Liked it, laughed, and found no spots that need an edit. It's perfectly MOOving if you ask me!
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "
You pulled me into the struggle, the hardship, heartbreak, loneliness and spirit of a soul with your poem. It really has a magnetic, gut-wrenching appeal. I could feel the pain in the head and the hands trying to get the brain to stop its relentless reminders of what was and what will never be again. It is the epitome of change that tears at every fiber of our being. 
It is a free verse poem. The flow was smooth and easy to follow. This has the makings of a true epic poem. It would need a little more freedom in line count to do so, and I know we placed a limit of 40 lines for this contest.
I just loved its strength and internal meaning which also hit the reader on point with certain parts of my own existence throughout the years.
I hope you will portion-out some of the lines for more impact when this contest has passed. It is quite powerful, very vivid and the imagery is strong. I found no grammar errors at all. The free verse allows for its uniqueness. 
These words set the mood that it so fitting when such a sudden change does disrupt life as we know it. "Suddenly thrown into chaos"
Very fine interpretation on Mary Shelley's quote. Your poem was well-constructed. With only seventeen lines you painted a very potent image for the reader.
The quick touch and hide of the bottle in the towel cupboard came to life in the reader's mind at the end of the story. Not difficult to imagine what the secret was, and why it was there.
I found no blaring errors that distracted from the reading. Your story moved along at a good pace and pulled the reader into the scene through its narration. The ending was very satisfying and made me smile. It is one of those "Where there's life, there's hope" type of story that warms the heart.