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373 Public Reviews Given
415 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of White Lace  
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This was a nice story. You potrayed the characters very well giving me insights into who they were and what they struggled with.

You also spoke in clear, short sentences so I could follow the story.

The only thing I would comment on is you called Maria, Trina's mother-in-law, would she be her mother-in-law before they got married?

I know that is nit-picking but that is the only thing I could find.

Good job.
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52
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a nice story.

I am saddened that so many people could still have hate and prejudice. But it is great news that God found a way to shine through despite that.

That gives me hope.

Thanks for sharing.
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53
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice Poem

Short sweet and to the point.

Thanks for sharing.
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54
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
What a wonderful experience. Thanks for sharing.

I too realize the importance of seeking God's face instead of His hands from time to time.

Everytime I seek His face, I grow closer to Him.
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Review of Revenge  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
An interesting take on the afterlife. Nice story
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56
Review of SMS  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
An interesting story. You started off well and kept me in throughout. I think you did a good job setting up the suspense with the cell phone. I was pretty sure it was Marc calling her after the first text message.

However, I am not sure what happened to her in the pool. Was it Marc's spirit who did that to her? Surely she would have found out who or what killed her.

I thought your description of life after death was pretty chilling in itself.

Overall, a good story. However, I do think she would at least wonder who killed her and/or why.
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Review of The Communicator  
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is an interesting story. You told it as if it were an urban legend which is an interesting touch.

It reads like one of those spooky stories you read in the anthology at the book store.

Still, I liked it. I enjoyed your descriptions. I liked the disappearing fire. I thought that was a nice touch.

Good job.
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58
Review of A Crack Of Light  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You did a good job with this. You described the characters in good detail. I liked your little inserts where you where reliving a child's experience. That added a good touch.

I thought the dialogue was realistic as well. I thought Max's struggling to remember and speak about his memories was realistic.

I am somewhat confused as to what exactly happened to him. But, you did say that this was background for a story you wrote.

Good job.
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Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An interesting story... It started off well. You gave a good description of Jeremy. I liked the mystery surrounding Mr Rockwell as well.

However, your story just trailed off. It didn't end satisfactory, it didn't really end at all.

What happened?

Is it not finished?

I would like to read a finished version. I would like to hear your ideas on who Mr Rockwell really is.
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60
Review of Midnight Whispers  
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is an interesting story.

I enjoyed the beginning. It was very creepy that voice whispering in her ear.

I also liked the use of all caps it made it easier to read.

I have to admit though I lost the narration through the middle. When the woman suddenly killed her husband I was confused. You explained what happened but I feel the explanation could have been better.

Still a nice, spooky story.

Write on.
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61
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Lovely story.

Great ending.
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62
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a very engrossing tale. You used excellent descriptions to bring your story to life.

I enjoyed the use of diaries to bring the past to life.

However, my once concern is why wouldn't the colonel just think Anna's diary wasn't the writings of a madwoman?

I mean there was no recorded evidence of anything she said actually being true?

Just something to ponder.

Good job.
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63
Review of The Red Knight  
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
What a cute poem! I ordinarily don't like poetry but I liked this one.

I loved your imagery. You started off well with the dark and stormy night.

Then you went on this noble quest.

What great lines

"Or a hairy werewolf covered in ticks" :) priceless.

I loved the ending... how sad, how tragic but yet how poetic.

Great job
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64
Review of Satan's Welcome  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nice poem... well not so nice but you do describe Satan's tricks

The only suggestions I would say is

"Many HAVE (rather than has) spoken out against me"

You seem to mix up the tenses in other portions.

For example "You seek the truth and I feed you only lies" Wouldn't this be in the past tense if the devil is speaking after the human is dead?

Just a thought.

Nice Job.
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65
Review of Jesus the Mortal  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
You spoke a truth that we all should recognize.

Nice writing.

:)
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66
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Loved the story. I thought it was a nice, well told tale.

I enjoyed the name of Johnathan Harker. I keep thinking back to the Dracula story.

Nice job
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67
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I thought the story started off intriguing if a little confusing.

However, you did a good job of leading me into it, especially when the man threw her off the ledge.

The scenes of her climbing the divots was really good. I could see her agonozing climb. I thought it was very suspenseful.

I loved the part where Lucifer lied.

I understood the beginning from the ending. A circular story.

Nicely done.
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Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think camping is fun. But I can definitely understand the other side of it

:)
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69
Review of Route Six  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An interesting story. I always wondered what would happen if characters in novels were actually real.

I think the story moved slow at times. There were spots where I had a hard time reading. That may have been because you put all the background in the front. Perhaps try to interject the background into the actual story. Just a thought.

You have an interesting concept.

Write on
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Review of The Lake  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You did well with this. You definitely took this story in a different direction then the prombt indicated!

It took me a while to get caught up into the story but I was caught towards the end. I think you had a great ending which was even better because it left you carefully hid the true shape of the monster.

Nicely done.
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Review of A Jump in Time  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
You did a good job with the words you had. You also put in the prombts very well to make the story believable even though a bit odd.

nice job
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Review of No More Holidays  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think you make some good points. I think the taking Christmas out is an attack on christians.

However, not all non-christians see it that way. Many of them just see it as having respect for people of different faiths who celebrate that holiday. Of course, if you are a different faith then why celebrate Christmas? It seems you are milking a christmas holiday.

I wonder if we can milk Ramadan? Or Hanneukah? :)
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Review of He Did It For Me  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a perfect poem for the grace of God.

Nice Job
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Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
So the real Santa kidnapped the little creep and made him into an elf? Perfect ending to a good tale. I really enjoyed this. I think you may have used to much description and perhaps longer paragraphs then you should of, but overall very entertaining.

Nice Job

Keep writing.
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Review of One Late Night  
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Man what a story A friend offers to lend aid and this is the thanks she gets. Still, you did a good job here. I confess I was a little confused not sure what was going on in the beginning.

But I do like the ending, it wasn't what I expected.

Good job
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