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367 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Calling  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You displayed passion very well in this poem. I liked the imagery.

Nice job

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52
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a good little article. I learned a long time ago that setting time aside for God must be a priority in my life. Now, I believe that I do hear from God and He shows me things. Of course those things aren't always easy to bear but I would rather have to deal with that then the confusion and uncertainty I deal with when I don't hear from God.
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Review of The Bus Ride  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like this story. This speaks to my heart the need for forgiveness. I always feel sorrow when I see people cheering when a convicted man is put to death. Granted, justice needs to be done but their laughter and mockery only reveals the pain in their own hearts.

You have shown clearly that Beth will be in prison until she can forgive the man who killed her daughter.

Nicely told.
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Review of The Changeling  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was a nice story. You drew the characters very well and gave them good detail.

I was a bit confused at first but you explained yourself very well.

All in all I thought you did a good job. I can't find too many criticisms.

Nicely done.

Write on.
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55
Review of Done  
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This story is horrible in the fact that George never found out why his tormented did this to him.

Nice Job.
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56
Review of White Lace  
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This was a nice story. You potrayed the characters very well giving me insights into who they were and what they struggled with.

You also spoke in clear, short sentences so I could follow the story.

The only thing I would comment on is you called Maria, Trina's mother-in-law, would she be her mother-in-law before they got married?

I know that is nit-picking but that is the only thing I could find.

Good job.

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57
Review of Chubby's Place  
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
You started off with good descriptive words bringing the place to life-I like in particular the line about stubborn flecks of paint, I thought that was a nice touch.

I liked the way you introduced the characters as well. However, you already told us with her dialogue that Maggie was suprised to see Peacock... there is no need to tell us again. My suggestion is just leave her dialogue alone without the accompanying explanation.

All throughout the story I noticed that you relied more on telling then on showing. If you say that someone expresses something try showing how they express it.

I have to admit that I lost the point of the story. It seemed like you were describing this place and the events that happen from night to night instead of telling a story. Maybe I missed the point which is very possible.

Overall, you did a good job with description. Try to work on your showing instead of telling. Also try to cut out the unnecessary parts that don't relate to the story you are telling.

Write on. I hope this helps.

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58
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a nice story.

I am saddened that so many people could still have hate and prejudice. But it is great news that God found a way to shine through despite that.

That gives me hope.

Thanks for sharing.
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59
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice Poem

Short sweet and to the point.

Thanks for sharing.

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60
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
What a wonderful experience. Thanks for sharing.

I too realize the importance of seeking God's face instead of His hands from time to time.

Everytime I seek His face, I grow closer to Him.
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Review of Revenge  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
An interesting take on the afterlife. Nice story
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62
Review of SMS  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
An interesting story. You started off well and kept me in throughout. I think you did a good job setting up the suspense with the cell phone. I was pretty sure it was Marc calling her after the first text message.

However, I am not sure what happened to her in the pool. Was it Marc's spirit who did that to her? Surely she would have found out who or what killed her.

I thought your description of life after death was pretty chilling in itself.

Overall, a good story. However, I do think she would at least wonder who killed her and/or why.
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63
Review of The Communicator  
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is an interesting story. You told it as if it were an urban legend which is an interesting touch.

It reads like one of those spooky stories you read in the anthology at the book store.

Still, I liked it. I enjoyed your descriptions. I liked the disappearing fire. I thought that was a nice touch.

Good job.
64
64
Review of A Stolen Passion  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a powerful story.

You started off well describing Lisa's passion for riding.

Then you described the accident well and the drama that resulted from it.

I loved the scene between Lisa and her instructor.

I also liked the ending.

Nice Job
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65
Review of A Crack Of Light  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You did a good job with this. You described the characters in good detail. I liked your little inserts where you where reliving a child's experience. That added a good touch.

I thought the dialogue was realistic as well. I thought Max's struggling to remember and speak about his memories was realistic.

I am somewhat confused as to what exactly happened to him. But, you did say that this was background for a story you wrote.

Good job.
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66
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An interesting story... It started off well. You gave a good description of Jeremy. I liked the mystery surrounding Mr Rockwell as well.

However, your story just trailed off. It didn't end satisfactory, it didn't really end at all.

What happened?

Is it not finished?

I would like to read a finished version. I would like to hear your ideas on who Mr Rockwell really is.
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67
Review of Midnight Whispers  
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is an interesting story.

I enjoyed the beginning. It was very creepy that voice whispering in her ear.

I also liked the use of all caps it made it easier to read.

I have to admit though I lost the narration through the middle. When the woman suddenly killed her husband I was confused. You explained what happened but I feel the explanation could have been better.

Still a nice, spooky story.

Write on.
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68
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Lovely story.

Great ending.

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69
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a very engrossing tale. You used excellent descriptions to bring your story to life.

I enjoyed the use of diaries to bring the past to life.

However, my once concern is why wouldn't the colonel just think Anna's diary wasn't the writings of a madwoman?

I mean there was no recorded evidence of anything she said actually being true?

Just something to ponder.

Good job.
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70
Review of The Red Knight  
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
What a cute poem! I ordinarily don't like poetry but I liked this one.

I loved your imagery. You started off well with the dark and stormy night.

Then you went on this noble quest.

What great lines

"Or a hairy werewolf covered in ticks" :) priceless.

I loved the ending... how sad, how tragic but yet how poetic.

Great job


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Review of Satan's Welcome  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nice poem... well not so nice but you do describe Satan's tricks

The only suggestions I would say is

"Many HAVE (rather than has) spoken out against me"

You seem to mix up the tenses in other portions.

For example "You seek the truth and I feed you only lies" Wouldn't this be in the past tense if the devil is speaking after the human is dead?

Just a thought.

Nice Job.
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Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a nice story. It is great that you heard the Lord's voice in that situation. It is also good that you held on through the pain. I am sure your wife and family are glad you made that decision

:)

I know the Lord will bless you for your decision.

Thanks for sharing.
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Review of Jesus the Mortal  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
You spoke a truth that we all should recognize.

Nice writing.

:)
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74
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Loved the story. I thought it was a nice, well told tale.

I enjoyed the name of Johnathan Harker. I keep thinking back to the Dracula story.

Nice job

75
75
Review of Fresh Meat  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was a good story.

I enjoyed your description of Burt's character and his techniques.

I also enjoyed him getting his comeuppance in the ending.

However, I think you used to much description. I got to much detail which made the story hard to follow at times. Maybe you can try and cut out some of the redundant descriptions. I don't think it is necessary to say something more than once.

Still you told an interesting story. With a little work it can be very good.

Write on.
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