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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/zhen/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9
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571 Public Reviews Given
586 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give comprehensive reviews.
I'm good at...
I like reviewing poetry and short stories.
Favorite Item Types
I really love structured poems with good rhythm and rhyme.
Least Favorite Item Types
I don't enjoy reading long stories riddled with grammar or spelling mistakes because these distract me.
I will not review...
If I don't enjoy reading it on some level, then I won't review it. So if you got a review from me, even one with a low rating, I enjoyed the read.
Public Reviews
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201
201
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)
You wrote a long exposition explaining the ghazal, its history and its modern ways. I feel more intimidated by the form than I felt before I read this.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found one mistake distracted me.
- It is both fun and satisfaction.
*CheckGr* It is both fun and satisfying.

Well done writing a great exposition!

Write on! *BigSmile*


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202
202
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.0)
You wrote a description of useful books you have recently found. Your piece reads as though it could be a diary entry.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me, apart from
- and ect. (sic)
I was taught to avoid using etc, and so on, and other vague endings just like this one. The idea is to think about what you want to say and to say precicely it.

Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself wondering where NHA is, what your course assignment is, and to whom you are writing. If it's a diary, it's fine. It could be a letter home to parents about how school is going.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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203
203
Review of Acting Up  
Review by Zhen
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
You wrote a fun story about growing up.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found the conflict in the story kept the tempo active. I wasn't distracted by your writing as I read your story.

Well done writing character growth in such a short story.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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204
204
Review of Assignment - Fear  
Review by Zhen
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You wrote a believable story that could be based on a real person's reaction to death.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself preparing for plot twists that didn't happen, so I was distracted by that. Your writing conveys how emotions grip some characters.

Well done writing what could be true fiction, or at least seems like it.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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205
205
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
You wrote a really nice, happy story.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me. The violet words are a bit distracting but I guess they are prompts that were given, perhaps for a contest.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing, and so does the image inside your piece.

I found your story lacked compelling action and dialogue. It reads like a description.

Well done writing such a happy story well. Stories are usually made interesting with conflict, and yours has only a little conflict yet is still interesting.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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206
206
Review by Zhen
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
You wrote a good poem about shark-infested waters.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Two genres are well-chosen, but why Health?
You could add a cover image that is great and really suits your writing.

I found a couple of distractions:
- On an unsuspecting human’s horrified radar - if they are unsuspecting then it isn't on radar.
- As the enchanted orb makes its nightly appearance... The daytime sees firsthand - the moon rose, nothing happened then it's day again. You go back to dark, but what you want to say isn't clear.

Well done writing a good poem!

Write on! *BigSmile*


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207
207
Review of KINDNESS  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (5.0)
You wrote a heart-warming, short poem.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found your poem ended before I was ready for it to end.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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208
208
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.5)
You wrote a compelling fantasy that moves quickly.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found your dropnote ml text is visible as though in double curly braces. Also, at one point you call the cat "Tabby" but a tabby cat is different from a black cat.

Well done writing a quick read that pulled me in and interested me from beginning to end.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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209
209
Review by Zhen
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
You wrote of a distant world not unlike our own.

Grammar and spelling are good and seldom distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself wondering why your world is as it is, and that distracted me from my reading.
- "seen not heard" needs a comma: "seen, not heard"

Well done writing a good flash fiction story!

Write on! *BigSmile*


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210
210
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.5)
You wrote a fun story set in another world that you start to bring to life.

Grammar is good and doesn't distract me.
Two genres are well-chosen, but why Holiday is chosen is unclear.
You could add a cover image that is great and really suits your writing.

I found a distracting spelling mistake,
- has be for nothing: has been.

Your writing is choppy and the focus in the story jumps around, so it's hard to sink into the story. What's the problem with duplicating humans? What can the clones do? Why is "him" such a threat?

Well done writing about another world.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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211
211
Review by Zhen
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
You wrote an interesting story that had me feeling apprehensive throughout.

Spelling is good and doesn't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found this phrase doesn't need a comma:
- To the hearth’s right, stands a tall...

I think the witches succeed too easily in the story because the challenge (the snowstorm) is done when the story starts.

Well done writing a good tale with good dialogue.

Write on! *BigSmile*



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212
212
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.0)
Your cheerful poem could be easier to understand by adding punctuation. "and not supporting a lie." is obvious from the previous line so doesn't need to be repeated. Your poem is free verse but includes some rhymes.

The grammar is a little confusing, as in
- and will ask you to spread out yourself and have fun.
- even though if you feel it annoying.


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213
213
Review of Homecoming  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)
Blech: your story disgusted me, as intended. Well done! The trolls reaction to tea is funny. You have a good cover picture and the background of finishing school is great. The ratings are good and the genres are well-chosen. I found no grammar or spelling mistakes to distract me.

Your story could be developed more, given a clearer beginning and end, so it doesn't feel like a chapter from a book in progress.


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214
214
Review of Expecting Rain  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (5.0)
You wrote a compelling poem in very few lines, with simple words so it is easy to understand. The imagery urges the reader to pause and reflect while reading your peom. The punctuation is perfect.

Rhyme and meter are great. The poem could benefit from an image of rain. A long time ago, Chinese artists paired paintings with poems. It's just an idea. The images in your poem lend themselves well to a painting.


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215
215
Review by Zhen
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Sadly, this competition seems to be closed although it does not say so.

There are two invalid items listed in {bitem:} format. The last time winners were announced was 15 year ago and there is no new prompt, but also no word about the contest being shut down or kept for its potential resurrection.

This looks like a good contest to continue. I wanted to enter.

I think the rules regarding the required number of entries is too convoluted and maybe that's why the contest stopped. I think if there are 3 entries and 3 prizes, then the prizes go to the entries.

I hope the contest opens again.
216
216
Review of GrimRerper  
Review by Zhen
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
You wrote a sad story that's probably been played out many times.

The line "Snipers and guards guard the surroundings of seven fully-equipped infantry walking
along the street, lined with buildings of the same color as the sand that has been floated up." doesn't need a paragraph break between walking and along.

The genre "women's" is unclear, but the other two genres fit well.

This is a good military snippet. Write on!


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217
217
Review of Dragon Boy  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)
You finished your story with a good amount of urgency, capturing the reader's attention.

Your whole story reads well. I found no grammar or spelling mistakes to distract me. However, we're supposed to open with the action and also open with ordinary daily life, a contradiction I haven't resolved yet. You do the latter in great detail, but it is too long and I almost stopped reading.

Children's fiction is simpler, with simple words and ideas in shorter sentences. I felt there was too much foreshadowing, stealing our surprise when he turned into a dragon.


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218
218
Review of Rigged  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.5)
Ccatholic isn't spelled well. Same with triaail. You can find these by searching your text as I just copied and pasted your spelling here. In children1, the purpose of the 1 is unclear. If it is a footnote, it needs to be formatted.

"the office culture is problem" -- capital T.

Your 7th footnote needs to be formatted into tiny font to match 1 to 6.

Great writing, interesting read.


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219
219
Review of I Need Him  
Review by Zhen
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
You've written a deeply personal piece set in religious form of expression. As compelling as the narrative is, what surprises me is how different it is from other compelling narratives on the same topic.

Your main character changed from the dialogue, after approaching a point of no return. Maybe you mean "bewildered" instead of "bewildering".


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220
220
Review of The Dream  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.0)
Your poem tells a nice, little love story with a surprising ending. The hawk would take on more meaning if it is introduced earlier in the poem. You set a syllabic pattern and break the pattern well. However, your ending leaves questions. Is the hawk's kill supposed to symbolize something that will happen in the relationship?


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221
221
Review by Zhen
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Thank you for this casual yet complete description of how you review, and what you review. I used to have a review template I made in my folder, but I deleted it years ago when the review tool was made. Your work is reminding me that maybe I should organize my own review framework again.

I believe in putting images on items because we can and because the available space looks empty without an image.

You have an Invalid Item that's not available - something you awarded long ago. That should be updated.


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222
222
Review of Learning to Swim  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.5)
You wrote such a sad, surprising ending to your story. I was surprised.

I think the lines
- "“You need to join us, while you can. Soon the kids will be back.”
- Mary dried off and laid in the shade."
need a paragraph break in between them.

You've written a good story and your writing pulled me in.


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223
223
Review of Nosedive No More  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like your story. I wasn't going to read something this long but your writing pulled me in.

""Ow, my ear! I think there's a hole in it," complained hopper." Capitalize Hopper. Also two lines later in "I'm sorry hopper". You could do a ctrl-F search for "hopper" if you are writing in Word or something similar.

I think Nosedive apologizes too often. Twice is enough and then the story needs to move on.

"Let's take a brake and try again tomorrow," -- break, is the right spelling.

Your story develops and ends well. You should send it to a publisher as you are wanting to do.





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224
224
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is, in essence, a great and short article on how to write poetry. I needed to read the phrase "The same may be referred if necessary" twice because its meaning is unclear to me. Do you mean we can refer to the folder?

I like the emphasis on accurate spelling, grammar, and meter, because although absolute freedom is attractive to many, we need these forms and restrictions to better communicate. Many people experience thoughts as prelingual impulses and reach into that incohate experience for inspiration, but we translate such impulses into words expressing feelings in order to communicate with each other. So, I agree with the author's preference for rules as these formats aid us and increase the joy of success when we express ourselves well.


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225
225
Review by Zhen
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your poem has a good format without grammar or spelling distractions. The topic you cover is the contemporary issue that those who rely on force and vapidity to meet their needs are required to confront. Those ones are increasingly required to talk to sensible ones, thus we learn from such talks, the followers of King Silas say we who make sense want to be tyrants to them, which is false, yet they are so scared of their hell they imagine and feel so angry hearing us say what they imagine is false and we do not want to be their tyrants, they yell instead of talk and won't listen, so they do not yet know that after decades of their fear, anger and pleas for pity while they suffer delusions, we are still waiting for a sensible conversation to be allowed to start, and we are still waiting for them to understand we do not want to be their keepers. Normal people cut through all of those issues in a simple, straightforward conversation taking 4 to 6 hours, calmly showing evidence. The core problem is childish king silly-Silas is scared he will be irrelevant unless he is always unproductive and only fighting. Why not seek a normal solution instead? What motivates the silly-Silas types to feel angst, fear and rage in response to the request to be normal instead of being vapid thugs begging for pity and abusing anger to threaten harm?


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