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| Why is it that some people seem so on task and driven? They apear to know things the rest of us don't. What do they have that we don't? Is there some type of key they use to unlock the access to the plane they are at? By this I mean, some people are a step above. They can find the time and effort to be a governor or president. They can win olympic medals or rake in billions of dollars for no apearant extra effort. I read about this guy that is CEO of a large corporation his 2008 salary (not including benefits) is 48 million dollars. yes...I said 48..MILLION! What can a person do productive that makes them worth that kind of money? To put it in prospective, that is $923,000 dollars a week, or $3536.00 a day if you consider it a 5 day week. Relating that to sports, he must be capable of hitting a lot of homeruns and score an awful lot of goals. At a million dollors a week, this guy would have to have one heck of an incredible idea every single week to help the buisness earn more money to support his salary plus the rest of the companies overhead. Not only that, but when he leaves this job he will get millions in severence pay...yeah that's right they pay these guys when they fire them....when I get booted out of my job they will let me have my personal belongings and say good riddens.......I will surely not get paid to leave. What does that really mean when they pay you to leave? It seems to me that that would mean they feel it cost them less to get rid of you than it would cost to keep you. So if you are not worth what they are paying then why did they offer that much in the first place? I am not sure I would hire someone that was paid to leave their previous job. I have a hard time understanding how someone gets to that point. What do they do different than me? Are they that much smarter? Is there a lot of luck involved? Or is there some key or switch out there that unlocks the door to that level? I work 12 hours a day, I have very little time to do any hobbies or get things done around the house. These people take month long vacations and their family seems as though they have never suffered. Don't get me wrong, I am not jealous of people that work hard and get places in this world. If they put in the effort then they deserve what they recieve. I just can't fathom how much harder I would have to work to get that kind of money....I have to assume I am not too bright. It doesn't add up in my head, we pay teachers $30 - $40,000 dollars a year and at the college level maybe $100,000 .......so how can they teach these people to have million dollars ideas if they can't make a million themselves? Because I can't bring this to reason in my head, I have to assume there is something missing in my head......some smart gene I just didn't get or maybe some powerful friends I never met. If I did have that kind of money, I would surely be able to help an awful lot of unfortunate people........it seems that there are a very few in that position willing help others....so if we are rewarded for our actions, how come many of the super rich people are the ones that are stingy and the poor people are the ones that would share and help others? Anyone got a spare key? one they don't need anymore as they have more fortune and fame than they need? Perhaps there is an old almost used up key in some dumpster somewhere that has a few thousnd left in it. You know just enough to make my family safe and secure. |
| When I am at work and I have questions about something, I use the many means available to me to find the answer. I have reference books, the internet, special phone numbers and my own extensive background. I am good at what I do, not because I know the answers but because I have the ability to search out and find the answers. So, where is the place to go for life's answers? Why is it so difficult to know what to do in certain situations? Wouldn't it be so much easier to be told what you should do next and believe so blindly in that to just go do it? I have lived most of my life believing in my own heart and using my judgement to guide my path. Mostly I have done ok I think but have always questioned my decisions. Did I make the right choice? I would ask the question of many people and everyone has a different answer. A deeply religious person would tell me to follow God and I would find all my answers.....Hmmnnnn there are over 1000 religions and each one has a different idea of what God is and how one should follow. I would ask an atheist and they would say it is foolish to blindly follow God but at the same time have no alternative.. Others would say our world is controlled by alliens or Satan. A rich person might say follow the money, but money, though it can make your life easier at times, does not solve problems as much as it creates distance between the ones that have it and the ones that don't. I could ask 100 people and get 100 different answers........None of which fit my needs...So where is the book? That book of "the right" answers. Does someone know? are they hiding it from the rest of us? I think I have come to the conclusion that life is supposed to be traveled with no provided answers..It must be that way I guess...perhaps that is how we learn and prove we are worthy of what comes next....but what comes next? And why do some people seem to do so well at it? Do you think they have a guide? why don't I have one? Now what if I picked one of the many paths available and blindly follwed that route? What if I spent my whole life believing I was doing the right thing then at the end I find out I was completely wrong? Do I have to do it all over again? Do I get a slap on the hand and go directly to jail and not pass go to get my $200 dollars? As an example, think of a man that blindly believed in his church and did what ever they preached. Sent his kids to sunday school and let the church guide his children, only to find out years later that his son was molested by the very person he trusted his life to.......what then? Of course, it wasn't the church, it was the person that was the problem...so how do you know? How do you weed out the bad seeds? I think there are answers out there but we just can't blindly except what others tell us is true or right. There is good and bad in everything. I think we have to travel through life with our eyes open.....embrace the information that makes sense to us and hope our decisions are somewhat correct. But in the end, we are the ones responsible for our own path. Well at least until Borders advertises "the book of answers"............Then I would be the first in line to buy one! |
| Are there days when you are not really in your body but feel like you are watching yourself as if you are seeing a movie? Not that you are actually out of you body physically but perhaps you are sensing your own feelings as if they belong to someone else. Does that make sense? I am sure I am not explaining it too well. I am sure it sounds crazy to some of you but there are times that I can view myself and what I see does not impress me......then other times it does. I know I am connected to others in some way.....I can feel things and sense things....but can not understand them....like waking up but not being able to open your eyes or focus on things. You know they are there...you can hear them, feel them sense them but not quite touch them or understand them. They say your sixth sense is actually your first sense but we are trained not to acknowlege it......I think that might be true as there are people that seem to know things...things the rest of us do not understand.... That is my problem today, How can I explain to you how I feel and what I am doing, if I don't understand it myself? This is the type of day that I could sit on the front porch, watch the rain and how it affects the world around me.....kind of a calming thing actually... a comfortable chair outside so I can smell the rain, the air, the mist around me but still be dry and relaxed....problem is, it is not raining today, I do not have a porch and I am at work not at home.........Hmmmnnnn... a delema. |
| I was thinking about how our lives are today and the minimal advancement that takes place now. Sure we have electronic technology and some medical advancement but not world shattering advancements. By this I mean, we do not have regular people solving normal problems and encouraging inovation. I am thinking about normal everyday things. Things that were amazing inventions years ago and have gone nowhere. Electricity is one example.....it was discovered and within a few years was perfected for our everyday use......then..well that's it, we have done nothing to perfect it or it's use. We pretty much still cut down tall fairly strait trees and hang the wires on them, we have a distribution box in our houses than channel the electricity to each room. AC (alternating current) runs our appliances. With the exception of the microwave, nothing new has been invented for many years. One day, some person decided to take a weed type product, grind up the seed area and make bread....what ever possessed them to even think they could accomplish something like that? Who was the ginuea pig? Someone had to eat this stuff and decide it was good. I wonder how one would get a job like that? NEEDED FOOD TASTER......NEED TO BE PREPARED TO DIE IF THE STUFF IS NOT EDIBLE. Someone must have eaten that first poison mushroom right? SO who decided we can eat plums but not choke cherries? Why are blueberries ok but the small blue colored berries on a juniper bush are not? Who knew enough to break the hard shell off a coconut to find food and water inside? Who looked at wild cotton growing somewhere and suddenly thought, "hey! I could make clothes out of that." The indians were very smart. They somehow figured out that they could eat corn. Then one drunken night an indian must have run out of wood so he threw some old dried up ears of corn into the fire figuring it would give him a little warmth. I am sure the sound of that corn popping was quite a shock and then surprise......popcorn...a light fluffy snack we enjoy for decades. So OK popcorn, but why do some things stick and others not? The Indians in the northeast took acorns from an oak tree, tried eating them because they saw animals doing that, but found them to be bitter. They figured out a way to add some type of liquid and suddenly it was good........but we don't eat acorns anymore...why? We eat other nuts. See what I mean though? Ordinary people were so smart....I think because they had to be to survive. They would devise ways to make things work. It is amazing to think about. Someone had to sit down and figure out a way to entertain their children. They had radio but the kids would not sit and listen so they came up with this box made out of tubes and stuff that showed a picture of what they were listening to......So what came first? the TV or the TV transmission? one with out the other is useless. Then of couse they had to find a way to send these new waves all over the place ....that doesn't seem too cost effective with out a bunch of TVs out there to receive right? So how did it happen? How did people know enough to invent the things that would be with us forever? I am so happy with that guy that decided one day to take a coffee bean (that I guess was growing wild) crushing it up then filtering some hot water through it and creating liquid coffee........I would be lost with out that. I wonder how many horrible tasting drinks he created first? There had to be some tatse tester that said, "now that's good coffee!" There are so many gross looking foods that we eat now......there had to be some crazy person out there saying, "sure you can eat that" I mean I can't imagine thinking, as I crack open a lobster shell for the first time ever and looking at that crap from the intestines and thinking....Oh that's gonna be good! Actually I don't like Tomallie but may people do. I guess what I am trying to say is that we aren't smart like we used to be.....now we wait for some big corporation with their think tanks to do our inventing and the only thing they come up with is computor technology.....which seems to actually make the rest of us kind of lazy........as I hit the keys on my computor and send this message to you, I think yeah, we are not so smart anymore. I don't know one person that invented something usefull do you? |
| I stopped this morning and asked myself this question. I notice that I spend a major portion of my time acting and doing without stopping and thinking.. Does everyone do that? Or perhaps I am alone. Shouldn't I think first? Think before I do........perhaps the outcome of many situations would be much better. If I stopped and thought about the situation I was putting myself in when I had the accident..it would not have happened..I wounder how different my life would be today? When I think back at some of the stupid times in my life..why didn't I just stop and think about it? What is it about my personalilty that refuses to do that? What if it made no difference at all? What if I stopped and because I didn't have that problem something else would have happened..maybe it is just our destiny and we can't change it that much. Perhaps if I didn't get hit in the face that day, I would have had a car accident on the way home or fell down the stairs when I got home. Maybe things happen and we just have to learn that particular lesson in one way or another. So.....then what is my lesson? why don't I know? wouldn't it make more sense if you knew why things happen? I think I would learn the lesson a lot faster if someone would just tell my or I received a letter stating what my stupiddity was. I am sure I could correct things much faster.....or at least not do the things I am not supposed to.....but if I don't know........well I rest my case! I am not a mind reader nor am I intelligent enough to understand life and why we live it........... Some people win things like cars and trips, some can excel in sports and beat everyone they go up against, some find gold through everything they touch....what have they done to be this lucky? It not that I am complaining because my life is pretty good, but it would be nice to get lucky once in a while. |
| What is it about people's percptions? How can two people look at the same situation and view it so differently? My oldest son who is 28, has been with a girl and her two kids for about a year. They went to nursing school together. Things seemed quite well, though My wife and I noticed that our son was either working or taking care of the kids. Apearantly he was willing to adapt to their life style as he seemed to love her and the kids alot. It felt odd to us as our son was always very active, working out, bike riding running. Anyway he didn't have time for this stuff and wasn't doing much...including spending time with HIS friends. He even changed his work schedule to be more available for the kids in the morning and evenings as his girlfriend was working at the hospital and had long hours (lots of weekends) Long story short, he moved into our house last night. they split up......she asked him to stop and think about what he was contributing to the family.......Hmmnn.....he stopped seeing his friends, changed his work schedule, paid for the apartment, gave up his weekends to take care of the kids,Stopped all his hobbies............even brought the kids to our house on some of her days off so she could have some free time to relax......... I felt it was a matter of time before he would get tired of living HER life instead of THEIR life.....so I wasn't surprised ..........It is hard to understand why she can't see his effort and why she want's to break it off because he can't give more....yeah give more....what more can a person do? He is worried about the kids as they are now in transition again......they will miss him...and us! We will all miss them........It apears she was using him and now want's new blood...........so he will stay with us until he finds a place.....hey, didn't my daughter just move out? Will we ever be alone? HAHA no, parents are not allowed .....ever!! |
| I was reminded of that today.....good ole Jimmy Buffett...he knows where all the beach parties are. We actually have a sign from Margaritaville that has that saying on it. It is hanging on the pool house. My wife is a huge buffett fan and she plays his music when we are out at the pool......makes it feel like 5:00 I sometimes wish I could be a beach bum and laze around the sands of some warm tropical island...if only I had money and no comitments.....well actually if I had momey, I could hire someone to handle the comitments. OK, that is my plan...to become wealthy somehow and then have a dream life at the beach......It could happen! |
| I am tired today, Not sure why.... ever had a day where you didn't want to be expected to think? Just to be able to sit back, relax and let your brain ramble through time? I think that is my day today........I want to be just left alone and let my brain go. Perhaps some nice background music or a good movie. irrational meaningless conversation. Don't make me think about numbers, schedules, world problems or even my problems. I want a down day just to myself. Think that is too much to ask? Well it is, as I am at work and have to do all those things I don't feel like. My brain is protesting though. Yelling for me to leave it alone....let it be...that isn't going to happen. Maybe anouther day? It's not a big deal, I can handle it. I will take care of problems, deal with work and the family, take care of things, because that is what I do. I am good at it and actually am quite proud of it. Doesn't mean I always want to though. |
| I read Innana's blog about the loss of her friend. It is tradgic and very difficult when we have emotional ties that are strained or cut. The loss leaves a void that is unfillable because no one can take the place of that individual. We have to be careful not to take advantage of friendships that could fall in that catagory.......to not appreciate a friend until they are gone. Luckily in Innana's case she did appreciate and enjoy the friendship so she has many memories to savour. I found myself taking stock of my emotional ties and what they mean to me....which ones would affect me if they were suddenly gone (as Michelle is experiencing)? Or what about people that leave before we have the chance to connect completely leaving a lost feeling because we have unfinished business? It is strange as I think about it, I have quite a few friends here but only four of them I consider very good friends. Four people that would leave a void if suddenly gone. I find myself asking, do I let them know they are special to me? Do I take the time to enjoy their friendship? Does life sometimes get in the way? Funny, I think of these four, their personallities, their lives and how each one is so different from the other. What is it about them that has a common thread with me? Why is there more meaning with these than others? What is I reflect to them that keeps them coming back for more interaction? One thing I know, as different as these four friends are, and I don't mind naming them..........Innana, Bugzy, Michelle (shelly sunshine) and Alfred. They all have a meaning in my soul when I think about them or talk with them. I can't explain it that well (though I am sure Inanna could). But it is something above and beyond a casual type of friendship. These vastly different people have a few things in common. They all are very loving and special people. They embrace mankind and go out of their way to help others. They have empathy and are truely caring deep down inside. Their writing reflects the true essense of who they are and how they feel. They are honest with their emotions and with interaction with others........As I read this paragraph, I can see why they are special and I consider myself quite lucky that they allow me in their lives.... I want to point out that I have many other friends and aquaintances here and just because I didn't write your name down here does not mean I don't appreciate you. Ski |
| I remember someone once said that everything we write derives from something deep inside us. A feeling or thought that provokes the image in our mind. A piece of truth we may not be aware of. If that is true, I am in deep trouble as I have written some very strange things....things that I didn't think related to me personally, things I thought my vivid imagination created. I suppose, if a person believed in reincarnation, they would then have many previous life experiences that could surface in their writing. The experience would not neccesarily reflect who or what they were at this point in time. Perhaps that view would make some sense as many writers seem to have the capability to write from other point of views than their own. Like a man creating a story from a womans view and being very believable. I would rather believe in reincarnation and an unending array of previous experiences than the fact that the ideas I have submitted to stories are somehow a part of my subconsious that could surface at a moments notice. Do you think some of these deranged people in our stories are merely our inner thoughts and feelings? Could we become what we write? Kinda scary huh? |
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But, honestly, I take the good with the bad, even when it is really bad. Emotions are a huge, huge part of who we are and sometimes holding them back doesn't allow us to truly experience life.
I don't really know what it takes to be a writer but heck, I like to do it and it seems the more I write the more I like what I write. That, I think is the most important thing about being a writer. 