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76
76
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello zumirrah
I am here to offer you the following review for your item: "what dreams may come" .

Initial impressions: I found this item to be more strange than comical. The fast pace and erratic rhyme structure encouraged the bizarre nature of the piece. It was nice to read something different.

The title was a little distracting. I am unsure if you are aware on not but your title is shared with a movie which many have seen. No matter how absorbed I became in your item I could not shake flashes of the movie also associated with this title.

Content: The item is in need of some division. It is extremely long-winded due to it being compacted. I think the traditional four stanza format would work perfectly for your item because it would allow both the piece and your viewers sufficent room to breathe.

Errors/inconsistencies: I happened to notice the following errors in your item:
Line 11- alchohol should be alcohol.

Line 16- moustache needs a plural.

Line 23- The needs to be capitalized as you are making reference to yourself.

Line 24- The in this line also requires capitalization for the same reason noted above.

Suggestions for improvement: I encourage you to incorporate some division within this piece and correct the noted errors that are present in your item. I also feel some more attention needs to be directed to your overall punctuation. There are many errors in this area.

General comment: Your item is refreshing to read because it is so different and strays from the ordinary and mundane. The general content is in need of a polish but it was entertaining nevertheless.
Well done and write on.
77
77
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Lauriemariepea
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review for your story: "Divine Interference" .

Initial impressions: This is such a bizarre item and I think the oddity of it was what made the item funnier. I think after the initial shock and denial of the source, one would have no other option than to laugh at the ludicrous nature of the letter. I suppose, once they had gotten over the offense of her words. LOL

Content: I like the way the item has been set out. It has been structured well and is free of complication. Even the bracketed comments do not distract but make the item more personal and comical.


Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present


Suggestions for improvment: I have only one suggestion for improvement and this is to remove all of the exclamation marks featured in the bracketed areas. It makes the angel appear as though she is shouting when she is merely sharing her thoughts.


General comment: The item is funny, intriguing and completely off the wall LOL I love how refreshing this is to read. You tapped into a great idea and delivered it to your readers well. Well done and write on.

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"Invalid Item" 
78
78
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello bittersweet
Welcome to WDC. I am here to offer you the following review for your item: "Digging through dreams and memories" .

Initial Impressions: Your item description states that this is a tale of longing and indeed it is. It is a yearning of a profound need, almost obsessional in its reach and devoid of any independence.

Content: The content itself is in need of a major polish. Whilst all of the emotional elements are strong and thought provoking there are a large amount of errors causing distraction.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are a number of errors in both categories featured in your item. They are as follows:

Line 1- The word 'our' needs to be inserted between of and time for the line to bridge properly.

Line 6- turned would read better as tended.
Remove 'on' and insert the word 'same' between the and heartbeat.

Line 7- Replace 'on' with in.

Lines 8 and 9- Remove: to feel yourself. This section is redundant and not needed.

Lines 10, 11 and 12- All of these lines are not bridging together correctly and make no sense. I encourage you to fiddle with them until they align or remove them completely.
* 'It looked the same organism'- adjust this to read as: We were the same organism.
*A space is required after the period featured at the end of 'back'.

Final line- Reverse 'sinking now' to 'now sinking'.

Suggestions for improvement: I encourage you to correct the imperfections noted above. I also direct you to take a closer look at your punctuation. There are too many periods and commas featured in your item and they are hindering any natural flow you may have been able to establish. Some divisions in your item would also benefit the overall quality of the piece.

General comment: The emotional aspects are not in any need of improvement. All are strong and have been delivered well. Once the rest of your item has received a polish to remove all of the blemishes this will be a fantastic read.
Well done and write on.

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This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.

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"Invalid Item" 
79
79
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Daizy May
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review for your poem: "In Search Of Serenity" .

Initial impressions: I love this poem! It is unique, creative and I love that you have chosen to refer to serenity as a person. You had me hook, line and sinker by the end of the first stanza.

Content: The content is mysterious whilst also being jovial and playful. You have balanced all three elements extremely well and I found this apsect of your poem delightful.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors or inconsistencies in your poem.

Suggestions for improvement: I have only one suggestion for improvement and this is merely me being picky, nothing more. I will direct your attention to stanza 4. The timing, presentation and crispness of the beat are all in perfect unison. If you can fiddle with the remaining stanzas to reflect as closely as possible to this one you will have a very formidable poem on your hands because that stanza is perfect!

General comment: Your imagination is at its upmost in this item. Your pleasant nature shines through each word you have written and the playful theme serves to increase the number of people who are able to receive it. There is nothing at all that I do not like about this item. A wonderful read. *Thumbsup*

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#1525013 by Not Available.

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"Invalid Item" 
80
80
Review of Green Apples  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Noelle ~ TY Anon!
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review for your story: "Green Apples" .

Initial impressions: I enjoyed the description you have provided in this story. It is the small but important details which make creative items like this stand out.

Content: The story is presented in a neat and tidy manner to the reader and has been set out well. I did not find this story as gripping or potent as your previous story but it is still well written. *Thumbsup*

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present.

Suggestions for improvement: It feels like there is something missing in this item and I am not completely sure what it is. I am thinking it may be some spice to give it more volume.

General comment: Your story is well written and error free. You have abided by the 55 wordcount perfectly. Well done and write on.

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This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.

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"Invalid Item" 
81
81
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Daizy May
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review for your poem: "In a Moment's Space" .

Initial impressions: I love the evolution in this item. You begin with the negative and slowly progress it to the positive side of this situation. You did a fantastic job with this aspect of the poem. I loved watching it transform and grow.

Content: I love the two sides of the coin you show us in this poem. There is always a pro and a con to every situation and each of those are delivered to the reader in a crystal clear manner. I feel the only facet hindering this poem is the rhyme. It is too abundant and extreme and would work more to an adavantage if you were to trim it down to abab.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present in your item.

Suggestions for improvement: My only suggestion for improvement is to filter down the rhyme.

General comment: I know I keep repeating myself but I truly love the the way this item snakes around to show us both the positive and negative sides. My favorite section of your poem is:

An aging man can die with grace,
A newborn babe could take his place.

They are very powerful lines and stuck with me long after I had finished reading your poem.
Well done and write on.

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This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.

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"Invalid Item" 
82
82
Review of Foggy Morning  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello VictoriaMcCullough
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review for your poem: "Foggy Morning" .

Initial impressions: I love the tone of narration you have captured in this poem. It is very lulling and relaxing and meshed in with the beautiful imagery you have provided in this poem I found it to be almost hypnotic.

Content: Your poem seems to be touching upon many different things but a sense of recollection is coming to the frontline for me and taking center stage. I like that you opted to write this poem in free verse because I feel in doing, so you have not boxed in your creativity or central message by needing to keep to a rhythmic pattern.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present in your poem.

Suggestions for improvement: I have only two suggestions for improvement and they are as follows:

1. Trim down some of the larger lines which appear lethargic. In compacting your item, your overall flow will become crisp and a stronger melody will be captured.

2. Sprinkle your item with some much needed punctuation.

General comment: I think this is a lovely poem with some fantastic imagery visible through out.
The tone of narration is quite special and I am able to think of nothing which I dislike about it. It was a pleasure to read this poem.
Well done and write on. *Thumbsup*

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"Invalid Item" 
83
83
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello VictoriaMcCullough
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review for your item: "How Writing.Com Changed My Life" .

Initial impressions: I love reading items where the person tells the reader of their adventures since joining this amazing site. I especially like the appreciation you have shown not only for this site and a few selected friends of obvious importance but for all of the members who have influenced you in some way or another. This reads like a fairytale.

Content: I was so excited that not only did you find the will to pick that pen back up and begin writing again but that you managed to be so successful at it to the point of publication and contracts. I had to supress a 'Woo Hoo!, Way to go!' whilst reading this. LOL

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present in your item.

Suggestions for improvement: Suggestions for improvement are not required.

General comment: This is a fantastic and inspirational story of what can be achieved through this magnificent site if you only allow it to happen. Again, I am so pleased you managed to get back on track with your writing and that it brought you such success and happiness at the end of it all. This is an item I am sure nearly every member can relate to in terms of appreciating what the Storymaster and Storymistress have provided us with.
Well done and write on. *Thumbsup*

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"Invalid Item" 
84
84
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello tarafouts
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review. *Smile*

This is a fantastic shop. Yet another great organization available to all of the WDC community.
Your packages are affordable and I like that you have offered customers such a wide variety of categories to suit their personal needs.

The forum page looks outstanding and very inviting. I can see from the forum posts that I am not the only one who also thinks this a great venture. *Smile*

I wish you the best of luck with your shop and will be sure to stop by and make some orders from time to time. If you are in need, I am also quite happy to offer you some help with making reviews if you need it. *Thumbsup*

Way to go!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.
85
85
Review of Love Letters  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello fyn
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review for your item: "Love Letters" .

Initial impressions: This is such a beautiful poem. It reaches out to the reader, takes hold of them and transports them to sit beside you in that room as you go through the chest of memories. It is impeccably written and very potent in emotion.

Content: I am not usually a fan of lengthy poetry as I often find there are many areas where insignficant words have been used which attribute to the length. This is not a problem at all in your poem. Everything featured in the item had an importance of its own and needed to be there. It was like observing someone doing a jigsaw puzzle. Piece by piece you delivered the heart of the item to your reader until the story within the poem was complete.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present in your item.

Suggestions for improvement: I have only one suggestion for improvement and this is to break down the poem into smaller sections. It becomes very long winded and this impacts upon your presentation.

General comment: Although I feel the presentation of the poem could use some minor improvement, I will not allow such a small blemish to affect my overall rating for this piece. It is a beautiful story delivered to the reader poetically and I was completely mesmerized by it. It is a very powerful write and most certainly deserving of the recognition it has received. Well done Fyn. You have so much talent!
Write on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.
86
86
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello mangledfairy
Welcome to WDC. I am here to offer you the following review for your item: "Having My Cake and Eating It Too" .

Initial impressions: The first thing I will address is the categorization you have selected for your poem. You have classified this item as Romance/Love. Your item would be better suited to the erotica category as there is nothing romantic or love related in your item. With that being said, your item seems to be centered around just one scene of passion, which you depict with graphic descriptions.

Content: There is a loose rhyme featured in your item which appears to have no particular pattern. I feel this rhyme added extra volume to the piece and enhanced the spontaneous actions of the two characters. This was the highlight for me in your poem.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible grammatical errors nor are there any inconsistencies present. The feature of elipses is not needed and I encourage you to remove them.

Suggestions for imrovement: I suggest adding more content to your item. It is too short for a connection to be established between the reader and the piece. I also encourage you to focus further upon the erotica elements in the story to ensure it is as explosive as can be. I suggest this merely because the item is devoid of any other emotion than passion and lust.

General comment: What you have so far is well written but it needs more to hold a firmer grasp on the attention strings of your readers. I hope you continue to work with it until it is just right.
Well done and write on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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87
87
Review of Indigestion  
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello PC Miller
Welcome to WDC. I am here to offer you the following review for your item:"Indigestion" .

Initial impressions: After reading your item it has become apparent that you have deliberately left it wide open to the interpretation of the individual viewer. It was a very odd piece but intriguing nevertheless.

Content: For the most part your story has been well written. I know you have classified your item as 'poetry' but I feel it should be categorized as prose as there is nothing poetic about this in regards to your format and this is why I am referring to your item as a story.
You sufficently piqued and built up my curiosity as the item appeared to be striving for a crescendo of sorts. The somber tone and direct narration created a feeling of depression and reclusiveness but at no point in the item do you reveal why this particular character is behaving this way.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible inconsistencies in your item but I did happen to notice two errors.

Line 2- frightfull should read as frightful.

Line 6- repetion needs to read as repetition.

Suggestions for improvement: I feel some more volume needs to be added to your plot. Too many unanswered questions remain for the viewer to feel satisfied by the conclusion. Due to this, your item feels unfinished. Why is this character feeling this way? Is the character male or female? Who exactly is looking for this person and why? etc, etc.

General comment: What you have so far has been well written and delivered to the reader with a strong sense of presence. I believe that once you have provided the reader with more information, a stable connection will be forged and your story will be received as you intended. Well done and write on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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88
88
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello seth alister
Welcome to WDC. I am here to offer you the following review for your item: "feels like im in heaven" .

Initial impressions: Your item is essentially based upon a feeling of bliss and contentment. You show the reader that you share a kindred bond with someone and you are very happy. The item is designed to eject these feelings of tranquility onto your viewers.

Content: The format you have used is sporadic and quite bizarre. It seems to be a mixture of poetry meshed with prose. In all honesty, the two are not combining very well at all and this has a huge negative impact upon the piece. I suggest writing this item as either poetry or prose without fusing the two together.

Errors/inconsistencies: Through out the duration of the item you seem to be having issues with anything which requires an apostrophe or abbreviation. 'I'm' should be featured exactly how I have just written it as you are referring to 'I am '. The same rule applies to 'it's' as you are referring to 'it is'.
There is an extreme lack of appropriate punctuation in your item and I encourage you to remedy this.

Suggestions for improvement: I offer you the following suggestions to take onboard if you wish:

1. Poetry or prose only. Do not combine the two together because it is not working for this piece.

2. Further concentration focused onto your rhyme and overall timing of the poem is needed.

3. Your wordplay is very basic and simplistic. Branch out and challenge yourself by attempting to use more complicated and in-depth descriptions to hook your reader.

4. There is too much rhyme featured on each line and this is making your piece very sing-song. Although the item is intended to be a feel good item, any signifcance upon the importance of the bond you both share is lost and made to appear comical.

General comment: I like where you were going with this, I just feel that you did not quite get it over the finish line. It has a very real potential to become something special if it receives the attention required to do so. Thank you for sharing and I hope my review is of some help to you.
Write on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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89
89
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Just an Ordinary Boo!
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review.

Initial impressions: I have come to realize through reviews that alot of the times our own interpretations of the meanings of certain items are not always correct and so I do not ever make the mistake of presuming I am correct.
What I am receiving from this item is a feeling of unappreciation and lack of acceptance. I hope, if I am wrong, that you will correct me and set me on the right track. *Thumbsup*

Content: Your poem has been written to the triplet format. I like the incorporation of rhyme on the beginning and ending lines. You have captured a nice, relaxing melody and I found it a pleasure to read. The tone is somewhat somber but I feel it appeals to the reader on an emotional level.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors in your item nor are there any inconsistencies present.

Suggestions for improvement: Suggestions for improvement are not required.

General comment: I like that you have managed to capture depth in such a short and direct poem. You definitely have a flair for exceptional wordplay and this is in full blaze in this piece. It was a pleasure to review you and I look forward to reading over some more of your writing. Well done and write on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.

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"Invalid Item" 
90
90
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello aralls
Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . I am here to offer you the following review.

Initial impressions: This is a fabulous story depicting that the teacher is often educated by the student. I think the two go hand in hand. No person is above education and I feel when the teacher is willing to be educated by others, like yourself, they often make the best possible teachers for students to have. It certainly makes it easier for the student to relate to them. I am not a teacher and therefore cannot speak from personal experience but like everyone else I was a student. I am 28 years of age now and have only fond memories of the teachers who were willing to speak to me as an equal and show me the same amount of respect I showed them. I can't even recall names or descriptions of others who chose not to be as courteous. It is very obvious Aralls, that you will be one of those teachers who makes a huge impact upon their students as my teachers did with me.

Content: Your story is exceptionally well written. It is direct and your ultimate navigation does not swerve onto other paths, even for a moment. I was spellbound by your story and found it to be very touching. It must be a wonderful feeling to know you made a positive impact upon this boy when many others would have been very caged. I am sure you will linger in his memory.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present.

Suggestions for improvement: Suggestions for improvement are not required.

General comment: Your item is a story of both give and take and opening oneself up to other possibilities. I found it to be moving and in all honesty, quite special. There are so many great entries this round that I just know us judges are going to have a hard time with our decisions, and your item is yet another. Thank you for your entry and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Well done and write on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1514815 by Not Available.

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"Invalid Item" 
91
91
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello warriormom
Thank you for your entry into "Invalid Item" . I am here to offer you the following review.

Initial impressions: Your story is a non-fiction account of the ups and downs you and your family have experienced since adopting a child with Attachment Disorder. I have read many of your items which have been associated with this condition but this is the most moving because it gives us all a glimpse into your every day 'real' world. It has been through your items that I have come to learn about Attachment Disorder. I had never heard of it bfore until then so in that respect it is fabulous that you have passed on this knowledge to others.

Content: I think it is wonderful that you decided to share something so personal with all of WDC. Through this item we are further shown just how much of an amazing and kind spirited woman you truly are. Not all people are blessed with the tenacity, patience and dedication it requires to see a situation like this through. You are amazing, Pat!

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors but there are some areas where the structure of your wordplay can be improved upon by some simple reversals for a smoother flow. I also encourage you to keep close watch on your tenses. The story is being told in the present from your viewpoint but during the item your tenses do slip into the past tense at times when they should be focused upon the present.

Suggestions for improvement: Suggestions for improvement are noted above.

General comment: Due to the few blemishes here and there in your item this would usually result in a rating of 4.5 from me but your honesty, sincerity and willingness to allow us an intimate glimpse into your life far outweights these minor imperfections. You truly are an angel, Pat and quite obviously you and your wonderful family have saved this boy and given him a second chance. Thank you for allowing me the opportuity to read your item and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Well done and write on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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This item number is not valid.
#1514815 by Not Available.

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"Invalid Item" 
92
92
Review of Falling For You  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ShiShad
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review.

Initial impressions: It was very interesting to watch the inner conflict taking place through out the entire length of the item. From the beginning your intuition is warning you this person is wrong for you and as such you are determined not to allow yourself to fall under his spell. This determination is consistent until the final stanza when you realize you miss this person's presence and only then do you understand that he managed to break through your shield and pierce your heart.

Content: Reading this item was like taking a ride on a rollercoaster. Up and down, up and down until I reached the end. It made my mind spin and the irony at the end of the item was superb. It just shows us that emotions have a sneaky way of getting the better of us no matter how determined we are not to let them win.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors in your item nor are there any inconsistencies present.

Suggestions for improvement: Although you have stuck to a particular syllable pattern in the item I feel it is hindering certain parts of your item. The pattern count requires you to cut down certain sections within each line but in doing so, some of the lines are not bridging properly and appear unfinished such as line 7- show would read smoother if it were written as showing. There are other areas where this also happens, this is just one example. I suggest taking a look at this item again and fiddling with some of your wordplay so you still keep to the syllable count whilst losing the negative effect.

General comment: I love the poem, especially the many ups and downs and twists and turns it presents to the reader. The format is a little shaky for me and I feel something stronger would have worked better but in general I think you did good with what you had to work with.
Well done and write on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.

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"Invalid Item" 
93
93
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello ShiShad
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review.

Initial impressions: Your poem is based upon all the little naggging ailments one suffers as they age or mature as I like to call it. *Wink* I love the light-hearted tone in which you have delivered this to the reader. This poem could very well have taken an entirely different tone of narration as these afflictions would no doubt get to you from time to time.

Content: Your poem features a stong rhyme which is all direct and remains consistent through out the entirety of the poem. I admire your ability to fuse the item with a fun and carefree flair. The title is fantastic and drew me in with ease. It is a title which demands attention and lures the reader in to find out why getting old is so frightening.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors in your item nor are there any inconsistencies present.

Suggestions for improvement: Suggestions for improvement are not required.

General comment: It was a fantastic write and an enjoyable read. Your sense of humor is on display for all to see and it is great to see that age has not soured this great trait in you as it can often do to others. Well done and write on!

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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.

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"Invalid Item" 
94
94
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Daizy May
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review.

Initial impressions: Taking the title and item description into consideration, when I began reading this my first thought was that the lawn mower was going to refuse to start and you were going to be placed in a position where you had to ask for help. I did not expect that the lawn mower would be gone completely! LOL LOL LOL!

Content: The highlight of this item for me was the paragraph you used to signify that you are a capable and independent woman who has the ability to do things presumed to be 'a man's job'. I could not help but laugh as I read it, that you took the time to plead your case. *Laugh*

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present.

Suggestions for improvement: Suggestions for improvement are not required.

General comment: This story brought tears to my eyes from laughter. I not only love the way you deliver these stories to your viewer but the fact you share them at all. Thank you for sharing your abundance of bad luck with all of us here at WDC. Your honesty is refreshing. I assure you, I am laughing with you not at you! LOL
Well done and write on.

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This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.
95
95
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Daizy May
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review. *Smile*

Initial impressions: This is a true account of a situation which occured that you ultimately took care of but not without getting some pay back of your own. Ohhh, what a great mind you have! I would have loved to have seen the look on all of their faces when you placed the corn onto their trays. LOL

Content: The content is direct and your story unfolds at just the right pace. I love the way you showed no fear in a situation where most women would have been repulsed and cowardly. You did not let those kids get the better of you. Bravo!

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no inconsistencies in your item but I did notice one small typo:

Line 2- hospitlity needs to be corrected to hospitality.

Suggestions for improvement: Suggestions for improvement are not required.

General comment: An awesome read with a great outcome. You go girl! LOL
Well done and write on.

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 Invalid Item 
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#1525013 by Not Available.
96
96
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello ShiShad
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review.

Initial impressions: Your acrostic is essentially based upon encouraging others to keep themselves as healthy and fit as possible so as to avoid the health ramifications which touch those who have not kept a healthy diet and lifestyle. The poem has been specifically written for a great cause: 'SADS UK' and it is great to know that people such as yourself took the time to get involved and show their support.

Content: I love the array of colors you have used to highlight 'Healthy Heart'. It attracts and sustains the attention of the viewer. You have kept the acrostic direct and to the point and I love that you kept it simple. I feel in doing so you have ensured a wider audience to receive it.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no errors in your item.

Suggestions for improvement: Suggestions for improvement are not required.

General comment: I loved reading this acrostic. I could find absolutely nothing about it which I did not like. Well done and write on!

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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.
97
97
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ShiShad
I am here to offer you the following "Invalid Item"  review.

Initial impressions: The moment I spotted the name: Dr Linda Hazzard, I knew I just had to read this item. She was such a malevolent creature with a perfect disguise to get away with all she had done for such a long time. The reader is given a brief glimpse of her sadistic personality as you take them on a historical walk through the place the events occured.

Content: You have written this item to a shakespearian sonnet format and have done so quite well. I found no areas where you had strayed from the form even for the slightest moment. Your poem has a haunting tone of narration but I feel this could be made more potent with some added information fused into the content. Afterall, there is much to tell about this evil woman. *Wink*

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors in your item nor are there any inconsistencies present.

Suggestions for improvement: What you have here is great but it could be made better by lavishing some more information upon the reader. Delve into her spiteful nature without a care in the world as you present her for the monster she truly was. Details go such a long way.

General comment: I find the whole topic intriguing. It is a subject which has captured my attention quite often over the years and I was thrilled to come across an item specifically written about it. It was a treat and I am pleased to see it received recognition with an awardicon. *Thumbsup*
Well done and write on.

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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1525013 by Not Available.
98
98
Review of UNLIKE A ROCK  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Sherri,

I am here to give you the final review of your "Invalid Item"  package, gifted to you by Stephanie Grace .

Initial impressions: Your poem, "UNLIKE A ROCK" , is a picure of a woman who is fed up with being taken for granted. You constantly express that you are unlike a rock and of course you are! The toughest of people still have feelings and would like some form of recognition for things they do for others whether this be by a simple thank you or the common courtesy of treating someone with the same level of respect that is shown to them. It works both ways and your poem reminds us of this.

Content: Again, you have done an outstanding job with your rhyme. It is all direct and does not stray even for a moment into the indirect category. I am not usually a fan of repetition in poetry but in some cases it is easy to see that a certain item requires it. This is one such item. The repetition served to enhance not hinder.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present in the item.

Suggestions for improvement: A sprinkling of punctuation.

General comment: I am amazed by the strength of the rhythm you have managed to capture in this piece. It was just one of the highlights for me. It was a pleasure to review you and I look forward to visiting your port again.
Well done and write on.

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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1527427 by Not Available.
99
99
Review of PARTING  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Sherri,

This is review number 2 for the "Invalid Item"  package you were gifted by Stephanie Grace .

Initial impressions: Your poem, "PARTING" , is based upon a woman who has been given no choice other than to leave the person she once loved due to his ill treatment of her. It is sad and unfortunate when people are unable to return the love and kindness shown to them. Not only is the person being treated badly a victim but so is the person doing it because it is not until it is too late that they are able to see what they freely tossed away.

Content: There is a tremendous amount of regret being expressed in your poem by the female character. It is crystal clear that she is in a great amount of emotional pain and wishes that things could be different. Although sad, I loved the inspirational ending. It was fantastic that she valued her self-worth enough to break free.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors nor are there any inconsistencies present in the item.

Suggestions for improvement: My only suggestion for improvement is to sprinkle your item with some punctuation to strenghten your overall flow.

General comment: A well written poem with a strong emotional impact. The mixture of feelings this woman is experiencing kept my sole attention fixed upon your item as I wondered if she would receive the happy ending she deserves.
Well done and write on.

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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1527427 by Not Available.
100
100
Review of ETERNAL SLEEP  
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Sherri,
I am here to give you the first of three reviews as part of your number 2 cNote package from "Invalid Item" , gifted to you by Stephanie Grace .

Initial impressions: This is a very moving poem based upon a young girl who has been hit by a drunk driver. You vividly express her inability to express her actions as she fights to survive but the reader is made aware of her internal struggle through powerful thoughts she is experiencing.

Content: You have an amazing talent for rhyme and this constantly appears in your poetic items for the readers viewing pleasure. This item is no exception. All present rhyme is direct and fits into the content nicely without feeling forced or insincere. The emotional qualities are of the upmost value and I found myself emphatically drawn to this poor child.

Errors/inconsistencies: There are no visible errors in your item nor are there any inconsistencies present.

Suggestions for improvement: 2nd line of the final stanza- I encourage you to place an before the word 'try' to bridge the line.

General comment: A moving poem which has the ability to pull on the heart strings of all who read it. Beautiful image, great rhyme, neat and tidy presentation and a very deep central theme.
Well done and write on.

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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1527427 by Not Available.
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