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 |   My journey through (and beyond) the valley with Cancer as my companion. |
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Dear Friend: This is not a Blog about writing! (I already have one of those.) This is a blog about a journey I am taking with illness. I have recently been diagnosed with Cancer. My goal is honest therapy as I progress through, and beyond this new reality in my life. I hope that, somewhere along the way you will find some words that will help you too. While this is, in fact, an interactive Blog, I hope that you will scroll slowly down this page. For you see, the front of this Blog IS my journey. The entries are conversations that are held along the journey.Yes, there is a lot on it--before actually getting to the Blog entries. But, I hope that by the objects and words which appear before the Blog itself, you might come to understand just a little bit about me, and my journey, and some truly amazing friends who have agreed to journey with me. I hope that you, too, will choose to accompany me on my walk--through the Valley. I invite you to join me, and discover the wondrous truths, meet some truly amazing people, and share those "memorable" moments this journey will undoubtedly present. Come along, won't you? In His Care, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Would you like to help me help others? I found this amazing organization, and I am proud to be a sponsor. I hope you will check it out. It's called The Network For Good.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "RISUS OMNIA - INCRUMENTUS PER DEDECUS - SAPIENTIA PER DAMNUM" ("Every thing is funny - Growth through humiliation - Wisdom through loss") ~Leunig~ The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. ~Helen Keller~ "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ~Virginia Woolf~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "There is strength in truth." ~The Barton Family Crest~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller, American social activist, public speaker and author (1880-1968) I have moved the list of my thanks for those who have helped to make this little Blog so very special. I hope that you will take a moment to read the list, growing every day, and let these fellow travellers along this journey know that you appreciate the contributions they make to our walk together.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please feel free to click on the Blog Rings icon below to be transported to some of the very best of the Best Bloggers around WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you are new to WDC, or to our Blogging community, I highly recommend the monthly edition of "The Blogville News". Feel free to click below, and let scarlett_o_h know that a Blogger sent ya! Hey! We've started a Christian's Blog Ring on WDC. Click on the logo, and join us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Budroe
 Ring LeaderI have three publications at the moment. Here is a link to purchase my latest one. Buy a great read, and help a fellow writer out, Okay?  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
In " Newsletter (Spare)" , northernwrites gives a wonderful explanation of the "Ethical Will". I cannot really expound on her suggestions further because of the excellence of the article. I strongly recommend it to you! Besides, if you don't read it, the rest of this entry will make little or no sense whatsoever to you!  One of the overwhelming passions of the last few years of my life has been the fervent desire to "leave something" of merit before I complete this journey. Many would say that I already have, through an entire lifetime of work. To know that I have positively impacted another life is a great blessing to me. To have lived the life I have been given has been second only to my conversion to Christianity. The bad times have not nearly outweighed the great times. If I had children, or grandchildren, I would want them to have a perspective on my life as I had lived it. Most progeny know "what" happened in someone dear's lifetime, but I wonder how many understand "why" someone makes certain decisions in a lifetime. How much more we could understand of the legacy we have been given if this were known to us. Even though we might well discover things that upset or anger us, we might well come to at least understand, answer questions, and "know" someone else in a much more meaningful, personal, "under the skin" way if we could fathom the original causative moments in their lives. This is interesting to me. Who knows, maybe by this point in my journey I am ready to do a "fearless moral inventory" of my life. That anyone might ever care enough to read it is not terribly significant to me. That I could actually complete such a task is significant to me. A "Memoir" as such has no meaning to me, personally. Frankly, I do not believe that my life has been (so far) anywhere near important enough to write one, save possibly the amazing people who have given so much to it. But, I have long defined the value of my life as: "If, when I die, someone hears about it and doesn't regret the knowledge, but feels something positive, then my life will not have been in vain." I often think this is a great way to leave an immortal footprint. But, how did I get here, to that point? Why is it so important to me? I can't honestly say that I know. Perhaps, creating an "Ethical Will" will help me answer that question. So, I'm going to work on it. It will take a while, and I won't be working on such an item exclusively. But, I will attend to it as I would a small garden. I will research a little, plant a little, water a little, weed a little, and wait for the result to reveal itself. How about you? Would you do such a thing? The first thought I had when considering this idea was that I really didn't need to. That's when I determined that I really DID need to, if only for myself. I hope you will. Soon. I remain, and constantly strive to be, In His Care, Budroe |
| Life can truly be a difficult journey. This particular part of my journey began on October 28th, 2006. By the time I was evicted from that first hospital, I was looking at a life expectancy of around 18 months--if all went well. I had (I thought) that much time to do something that might help othrs, and even possibly make a difference. One of the reasons I wanted to do that was because of the friendship I had made with another member of this site, Lawrence   . ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Like me, things happened to Larry at the speed of life. He had to remove himself from this site for personal and health reasons. So, shortly after, did I. Ours was a strangely parallel symmetry. He came back to the site, and picked up right where he had left off. Larry Powers was the Kansas Poet. He was Lawrence P. He was my friend. He was one of the first people I met on WDC. I didn't figure we had too much to talk about. I was a newly registered author, while he was the exalted colored case! Yet, his welcome to me was genuine and heartfelt. It was warm, and funny! Here's the latest on Larry P. He was a poet--a really good poet, too. He was a poetry teacher, a really good teacher, too. We worked together and shared our teaching passion with many hundreds of fellow WDC members for more than two years. Larry was my friend--a really good friend, too. He was along on the journey. He helped me selflessly go through the first rough parts of the valley. I knew when he left, why he left. We communicated for many months. He came back to WDC. I knew why he came back and was thrilled! He was so happy to be here again. I know how he felt. Not because he told me (but he did), but because I had returned, and had felt very much the same way. I was still on my journey, but with Larry alongside it seemed as though maybe--just maybe, the steps would be just a little easier to take. That is something we shared together. He told me that being along on my journey somehow made his better. He was much too humble to ever believe that he could actually help someone else. He would never accept accolades, or even thanks without deep blushing on the inside. That wasn't what he was about. But, he was so happy to be here. He had many friends here who had not forgotten him, who still liked and loved him, and who were fed by his words, his poetry, and his presence. I never imagined that his journey would be shorter than mine. If you read the link, you will find nothing of his writing life. That's truly amazing. But, I think it is probably also appropriate. He was ours. He deserves to be remembered here. His gift deserves to be celebrated here. I hope you will celebrate with me the joy of having known him and his work here. I am only one. He touched hundreds, and thousands here. All have a "Larry" story. I'd love you to share them here. But, what I really hope is that Lary knows we loved him, and will love him still. I know I will. That is the living of life on this journey. Some come along, and some leave along the way. It is something that all who are called upon this journey come to realize at some point. Life goes on. It has no concern for whether or not you are in it. That is entirely your choice. That is one ot the great lessons that my friend Larry taught me on this journey. You cannot slow it down, or carve it into the picture you believe it should represent. You can, however, choose to embrace every day you are given with the wonder of a child, knowing that, with God holding your hand, you will get beyond it because you have what it takes to get through it. Even the difficult times along the journey give you a choice. Embrace them, and go beyond them, or let them cover you with dirt. How do you handle such a loss as this? After more than forty years of active ministry, I can't tell you. I can just tell you that, no matter what today's life requires of you, it is worth it. He, my friend Larry, lived that truth out in front of me for years. On October 22, 2009, Larry R. Powers began a Blog here. In his first (and sadly, only) entry, he said: "Today and tomorrow, the future offers us good things and a few not-so-good things. As we me[e]t these challenges, we will be made into different people. As we grow together, we will be asked to see a bigger picture - as of yet many of us don't know those bigger pictures. Here, we have a chan[c]e to grow together - to see things together. While we are he[re], this is our greatest hope - to see things in a way that will give us better eyes to see. To see things..." Oh, my friend, what things will soon be set before your eyes to see! Thank you so very much for giving me such beautiful moments with you. I will remember them until I can share with you those wonderful moments again. Oh, how I will miss him! But, with him now on an entirely new journey, I feel just a bit safer somehow, In His Care, Budroe |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** When I put all the parts together, I posted and verified 114,973 words for The Salt Lake Concert in rough draft! Man, it's a good thing that I'm not verbose! There was a major knot that had to be carefully undone that caused me to drag through the middle of the month. I finally got it undone about a week ago, and it has been me writing like a ferret on steroids ever since. I'm going to take a little writing break during December, and try to convince those who love me that I really did not get abducted by alien life forms! It has been a concerted effort to get the job done in a busy life around a busy world. I didn't handle it nearly as well as I should have, but it is (for the time being) done. That's a blessing. Editing? Ummm, not so much. But, it is a talent I have had to acquire for the long-term plan. I do learn, eventually. Thanks for the encouragement, love, and support during the month of chaos. It was a great diversion; even a diversion enough to make me disregard, for the most part, the journey that this chaos was a part of. Yep, that's what it takes. I am, and remain, In His Care, Budroe |
| Over at my MSN Blog, I wrote a quick entry about radical thanksgiving. I hope you will look at it here. . I hope you will take a look at it, and respond if you feel like it. I love you all, so very much. Thank you for being the first on my list of things and persons to be thankful for. Happy Turkey Day! In His Care, Budroe |
| Yesterday was a very "doggie downer" kind of day for me. There are a lot of reasons, most of which don't really matter; none of which matter to this discussion. So, I go to bed this morning after about 2 AM, resolved to leave that day where it belonged, there. I woke up this morning with an emotional "hangover" (if you've had them, you know what I mean.) that had me fighting for the sunshine on a rainy Tennessee morning. Cold and blustery, I got a clue that SAD is kicking in--hard. Great! Another monkee hops aboard for the ride! Pilin' on has never been attractive to me. What I could really use is a dose of goodness. Where do I go to find a dose of good? Here, of course. WDC is usually a place where, if I can't find a dose of good, I can give one. (Shhh, it's a secret!) So, I open my email. Today, that wasn't one of my happiest ideas. One email, from The Vigilante Angel  . In it, I find a WOW! kinda good:What even makes it better is that it's right at the very top of this Blog! The Blog got an AwardIcon! Okay, so I gotta ask ya: How cool is that? We got a award! All of us! YEAY! Thanks, The Vigilante Angel ! For all of us who share this journey, thank you. Just when ya need it around here, somehow it just always seems to show up, in the most amazing ways. I tell ya, sometimes, it's just plain scarey! In His Care, Budroe |
| I've been watching, over the past two or so years, a growing reality which is spreading across this country--especially in our largest metropolitan areas. Because I live at the present time in Southern Illinois, because we here in the "Land of Lincoln", where so much has happened in the past few years that many would say could potentially endanger our society and our freedom--just to name a few reasons--I thought I would bring this issue to the discussion bar from the perspective of the latest metropolitan area to be publically affected: the city of Chicago, Illinois. If you live in Miami, San Diego, Tampa/St. Pete, Atlanta, Memphis, Cincinatti, Philadelphia, or several other major cities in the United States, you may well be aware of the issues to be discussed. I'm going to ask you for your help on this one. It won't be too much, but it will take a few minutes of your time. I'm only asking here because I trust the input I get here more than other places. I appreciate you all. I would like to find out what you think of this, but first I would like to ask you to complete a short survey on the subject. If you complete the survey with your writing.com email, I will reward you with 500GPs. The survey is limited to 100 responses (one per address). I am only looking for general opinions at this point. The survey is located here. After completing the survey, please go to the article which caught my attention. Any reference you can give in your comments will be appreciated. Please read this short article before we begin. It really is important. Read it here . Then, post your comments here, and let the discussion begin. If there is sufficient interest, I will create a group for further discussion. Thank you for your help. This will probably become a series of articles on like subjects. Your input will be greatly appreciated. In His Care, Budroe |
| I am in Columbia, Tennessee for a few days. I can't believe it, but it has been colder, wetter, and more humid here since I got here on Sunday than it has been since late Winter in Southern Illinois. To me, that is just strange. When Sara came up to get me, the trees in her back yard were "on fire" with deep, rich golden and orange leaves brilliantly standing against a backdrop of large Spruce trees. When we got here, a bit more than a day later, every leaf was on the ground. "The big thud" had hit Columbia, TN before it hit Illinois. Okay, so that's just really difficult to explain. I've heard of temperature inversion...but seasonal inversion? Wow! I hope that the weather is giving you some really good Wow! moments, too. It's a really awesome adventure! And, the leaves smell and feel just as they did so very many seasons ago, when "bundling up" was an invitation to great fun, kicking and jumping into piles of leaves, and we left the raking to the old folks! I'd love to stay and reminisce, but I've got to find a rake.... In His Care, Budroe |
Okay, first you have to understand the premise. There's this Raffle, see, over at
I can't really divulge all the details, but if you read carefully, you might be able to draw some successful inferences that are, umm, *gulp* really important. So, do a fellow blogger a favor, okay? Head over and spend a few GPs. While you're there, you might want to create a prize package. The group could use them, and umm, someone could really appreciate your help! In His Care, Budroe |
| Or, "How To Kick Your Own Butt"! I don't know if this year's NaNo is so much more difficult because of all the things suddenly invading my time, or if the effects of the disease are dragging me down, or just having uninvited space aliens in my spinach are affecting me...oh, I didn't tell you? Whatever it is , the writing of words this time is a very difficult task to me right now. The fact is, I'm way behind, with a good story waiting to be written. Distractions are coming at me like scatter shot. Whatever the reasons and/or excuses may be, this year's NaNo is becoming an overwhelming task. I just thought I'd vent. Thank you. In His Care, Budroe |
| This does! And This does! And This does! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And This does! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And This Does! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And, this does, too.... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you know a Veteran, thank them. If you are a Veteran, Thank you! If you are on active duty, protecting our country from all freedom's enemies, thank you for all that you have given, and given up so I may write these words today, and others may read them without fear of recrimination. If you are the parent, sibling or relation of an active duty service member, or of a fallen hero, know that you are in my thoughts, and my prayers this and every day. Happy Veteran's Day. In His Care, Budroe NB:All images courtesy of Bing Images for Free |
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