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 |   My journey through (and beyond) the valley with Cancer as my companion. |
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Dear Friend: This is not a Blog about writing! (I already have one of those.) This is a blog about a journey I am taking with illness. I have recently been diagnosed with Cancer. My goal is honest therapy as I progress through, and beyond this new reality in my life. I hope that, somewhere along the way you will find some words that will help you too. While this is, in fact, an interactive Blog, I hope that you will scroll slowly down this page. For you see, the front of this Blog IS my journey. The entries are conversations that are held along the journey.Yes, there is a lot on it--before actually getting to the Blog entries. But, I hope that by the objects and words which appear before the Blog itself, you might come to understand just a little bit about me, and my journey, and some truly amazing friends who have agreed to journey with me. I hope that you, too, will choose to accompany me on my walk--through the Valley. I invite you to join me, and discover the wondrous truths, meet some truly amazing people, and share those "memorable" moments this journey will undoubtedly present. Come along, won't you? In His Care, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Would you like to help me help others? I found this amazing organization, and I am proud to be a sponsor. I hope you will check it out. It's called The Network For Good.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "RISUS OMNIA - INCRUMENTUS PER DEDECUS - SAPIENTIA PER DAMNUM" ("Every thing is funny - Growth through humiliation - Wisdom through loss") ~Leunig~ The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. ~Helen Keller~ "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ~Virginia Woolf~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "There is strength in truth." ~The Barton Family Crest~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller, American social activist, public speaker and author (1880-1968) I have moved the list of my thanks for those who have helped to make this little Blog so very special. I hope that you will take a moment to read the list, growing every day, and let these fellow travellers along this journey know that you appreciate the contributions they make to our walk together.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please feel free to click on the Blog Rings icon below to be transported to some of the very best of the Best Bloggers around WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you are new to WDC, or to our Blogging community, I highly recommend the monthly edition of "The Blogville News". Feel free to click below, and let scarlett_o_h know that a Blogger sent ya! Hey! We've started a Christian's Blog Ring on WDC. Click on the logo, and join us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Budroe
 Ring LeaderI have three publications at the moment. Here is a link to purchase my latest one. Buy a great read, and help a fellow writer out, Okay?  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| My computer will not turn on. I know a ton of stuff about Information Technology (read software). I have no idea what is going on with my computer at the moment, but I am in the dark. As soon as I'm not, I won't be. You'll know because I will holler, loud and long. I am back home. Figgers, don't it? Finally get back on my own turn, and Murph decides I need a recertification. There are words I could use, but I won't. This is a most special day in my world. I'll blog about it in a minute, but it will, I repeat WILL be updated later. May the peace meant to abide in you today find a willing and joyful welcome in your moments today, and tomorrow. In the meantime, I am suprizingly still, In His Care, Budroe |
| I noticed the new upper menu on the site recently. Several of our item types disappeared. Specifically, I cannot find the link to Quizzes. I wish I knew where they went. I like following certain item types, because they tend to be good sources for first reviews. Finding new items to review is easy. Finding good items to review are sometimes more difficult. I do review Blogs on the rare occasion, but I have a question about that, as well. Anybody know what is going on with the Blog Ring? This seems to be one of those "transition" times around WDC. Names I know, I cannot find. New names are appearing at a large rate, and that's good. I think maybe there is an "upper limit vacuum" going on around here. I don't know. It's a pleasurable pastime, for sure. But, for the creative writer WDC is also a haven community, where others of like mind come and meet. I would hate to be responsible for keeping the ad info fresh and interesting. Then is usually when I realize that the "fresh and interesting" is mostly left up to us, the members. It has got to be much like herding cats to keep such a site clean and in control. I say all this to say I've been thinking about where some things have disappeared to. Are they on a different (new) menu, or drop down? Am I becoming jaded, or fatigued at the notion of joy at a new member? Is it time to step back, step away, or just step into my own creative writing? I'm doing a lot of that. That's a good thing, I think. I don't know. I'll ponder on it a while. Back to West Frankfort, tomorrow (finally!), I think. Developments in the healthcare and benefit departments are again playing havoc with my peace and sensibilities. It looks like that other foot I've been waiting on is about to drop, after all. It's going to take a powerful mind to get it all sorted out, and a good bit of time. As much as I look forward to seeing my "girls and boys" again, I am mostly just wondering where this turn will take me. I hope you are cruising on easy roads today. I remain, as always, In His Care, Budroe |
| Sara awoke this morning quite ill, we suspect the flu. "We"? Yes, we. I have whatever she has. No travel today. Yet, there is another, even more logical reason for the delay. The car is in the shop, awaiting a part to be delivered. It should be here by Wednesday, late afternoon. It's a computer so it isn't held on-hand at the dealership. I couldn't travel today if I had to. I can't get my nose to consider the positive attributes of dam-building intra-nostril. sneezing, running, and overall body aches extraordinaire! Yuck! So, within the feelings of the local news, I am here. So, tell me (and the others), what is in YOUR local news today? The stranger, the better.  In His Care, Budroe |
| First we were going to be home on New Year's Day. It didn't work out because of things going on here. Then, we were going to be back in West Frankfort on the Fourth. It didn't work. This week, we didn't travel due to the weather, and we didn't travel today because it was just too cold and icy. We are leaving early in the morning--so far. Neither Sara or I is really overwhelmed with that reality. But, "there is a season for everything...." This trip has been pretty much stress free, at least for me. The folks here have really done just way more than an outstanding job to make my extended visit here an exceptional one. They have worked very hard to make life easy for me here, and have invested their time, talent, and treasure in doing so. Christmas with family included me, replete with a haul from the "fat man" himself. The birthday was a tremendous "Gala Festivities" which went through the first weekend of the new year. (Only appropriate, after all.) Football on a television screen larger than my living room wall has been a really awesome and wonderful opportunity. I have experienced the magic of the Nintendo Wii, and the games thereof. I have learned that Rock Hero is a possibility--a very long, slow possibility. (*sigh*) Being with a family unit has been a very nice experience for me. It has been a very, very long time. I floundered, and I foundered, and I eventually just quit trying to figure out how to act/feel/speak/hear, and just WAS. It took a long time, and I still feel like a fish well out of water. But, for an interventive beginning, it wasn't so very bad. I promise it was much more difficult for my hosts. You should pray for them; they have been under some extremely significant pressure because of their kind generosity to me. Sara, Cedric, Matt and Katie, and the pups have all given liberally to me for no special reason. This is just the quality of people it has been my privilege to be around during the Holidays. Epiphany has now passed, and it is time to go back into MY world. I don't know that it won't feel very good to be back in my environs. I just think it will feel very different. The question is, how much different is too much? I have that still to discover. I will. Until then, I will most surely continue to be, as I have so clearly been of late, In His Care, Budroe |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Over the course of years now, the issue of privacy, especially within the realm of "social journalism" and "social networking" has been sporadically and/or casually brought up in this very Blog. To some people, discussing points of my personal health or (in some few cases) my personal life make the reading uncomfortable. Now, it seems the issue has become a matter of the rights of personal privacy in a constitutional sense--in at least two countries. Believe it or not. Scientists, jurists, attorneys, and those many other "interested" persons have, it seems been studying the effects of personal disclosure in such venues has courts, arrest warrants, and even Supreme Courts. The British view is that, since the majority of social networking sites are American, it is our fault that the British courts are considering the "further erosion" of personal rights of privacy. Please look at this article . It is an interesting piece of BBC information. But, it does bring up an issue for me, and for others as well.There is another supporting article here .The seeming focus of the piece is that we should have a lesser expectation of privacy than perhaps we do. Or, conversely, perhaps we should be aware that we have less privacy than we believe. The answer, in both instances according to the article, is the nefarious "social networking sites" that have blossomed over the past decade. It is a most interesting problem. But, while you are considering that issue, I would like to offer you another article which, in my personal view, directly applies to both arguments. These are dots that must be connected to make sense. But, if you do connect the dots, there is an almost transparent nexus between all three. Please check out the article here .There have been many pivotal events in our recent history, most of which can or at least should be pointed to the activities of September 11th, 2001 in New York City. The conditions which spun this nation into an entirely new reality have been spinning ever since. We, as Americans, have lost several significant "rights" previously considered to be sacrosanct. We have done so without even so much as a whimper from most of the people of America--or, to be fair, other countries. Someone might also be aware of the fact that what happens within the "protector of democracy and freedom" borders does eventually float around to the rest of the planet. This is not a "leveling" action. It is a diffusing action, which takes the rights (no matter how limited they may be) from all citizens. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Back to the question in my mind. Does the voluntary dissemination of personal information here (or anywhere else) automatically remove my right to the expectation to the right of privacy? If so, to what degree? For how long? Is such a right inviolable? Once lessened or removed, should it remain so? What do you think? I'm pondering this these days. I'd like to know what you think, and why. How about it? If it's not too personal, that is. I remain, In His Care, Budroe |
| At 9AM this morning, I was sharing a Shoney's breakfast buffet with five other people at my table. These poor folks have no idea the panic-driven terror that can accompany my being anywhere at 9AM. Of course, it is a rule that I do not have to be awake to be at one of these mind-numbing functions, mind you. Very little to eat for me. First of all, I generally do not eat in my sleep--generally. Had I owned them, I would have gone in my pajamas, I swear! "Come on, it will be fun!" Okay, so much for that old saw. New rule: No, it really won't! No, Really! The big attraction, it seemed, was that there was an ever-so-slight suggestion that perhaps there was some snowyou-know-what (YKW) on the ground, somewhere in our general vicinity. Weather had predicted the precipitation should begin to arrive somewhere around 7AM this morning. By nine, it was slightly spitting. It truly was bitterly cold outside when we sat down. It got progressively worse as the morning wore on. Around noon, we did have a few moments of serious intent, yet very little result. It was right about that time that we learned that the school systems had called school off for tomorrow as well. *Rolls eyes* Meanwhile, Chicago gets 10" and the kids are beefing about having to walk home from school when it lets out--at the regular time! Yes, there will be school tomorrow. It's only a foot! The frantic nature of the warnings around here with the news bustin' in on the soaps was quite the event. Hot, homemade Potato/Cheese soup was a very special treat, for sure. Sara can make her some soup, y'all. Later, Cinnamon rolls and coffee somehow magically appeared. This day was for being indoors. Indoors we were. The day got warmer, and the sn...umm, precip came in full force--for about a minute. Streets are clear. Driveways are clear, mostly. Grass has maybe 1/2" on it. There's some pretty mad school boards around these parts tonight, I'd say. But, when it's Winter you have to remember the first rule of good planning: flexibility! We had the joy of an 8 year-old friend over (no school) in the house today. Therefore, I was proud to attend a "Tea Party", and then set up Barbie Dolls for "court". This evening included some fierce argument over a particular football game. SEC Rules! My personal opinion is that USA NCAAF could do much better than this. I am a proud advocate of the national championship via playoffs. No matter, Men's College Basketball is upon us, and the mess of the gridiron will be minimized until August. Tonight is for WDC. It's a blue kind of day. I'm feeling better in the head cold, but it has migrated south, to my chest and lungs. Breathing is about 40% more difficult for me today, so any effort causes me concern. Much to the dismay of my host, I didn't even feel like cementing posts into the frozen sod this day. The fence can wait. Altogether it was a bit of a tepid, pedestrian day. If I could only put this day into a bottle, I'd have made my fame for all time. How was your day? I remain, In His Care, Budroe |
| it was a foreign invasion or something! All day, television has been blaring the news. Schools are closed tomorrow, and have been since early this afternoon. Grocery stores are under siege. Gas stations have long lines. Women and children are huddled by the emergency exits. Men are bulking up, and getting out the "long handles". Emergency crews are standing by on the sides of the roads to direct the exodus. Why? Why, you ask? Well, I'll just tell ya why. 1-2", sometime tomorrow. Very cold conditions here, and an easterly moving cold front make for the perfect combo--especially when coupled with wet air coming up out of the Gulf. Those who know me best know that I cannot utter (much less spell that four-letter word). Let's just say we are expecting a dose of post-autumnal precipitation in Southern-middle Tennessee in the next 24 hours. The way these folks are acting, you'd think they'd be doing platoon formation drills with their snow shovels! I remember Stormy Rottman, the forever weather man for NBC, Channel 4 News in Denver casually mentioning a chance of scattered showers around this time of year. Lor-dee! Every person in town hit the grocery, hardware store and gas station in a frontal assault every time he did it. Why? Because he was right--every time. His scattered flurries inevitably wrought "the worst blizzard in recorded history!" But, everybody (except poor ole Stormy) knew what to do! It was hilarious. Once, he did it in the middle of June! Same response. Same response from the viewers, who were just not taking a chance; same response from Mother Nature, who musta heard him say it. 24"--in JUNE! Of course, when I think on it, these folks are probably doing the right thing, too. According to my hosts, "All we have to do now is just watch the snow fall. Won't that be just funnn?" Yeah. Fun. But, as I think on it...have you ever seen the folks around here drive? I gotta go to the hardware store! In His Care, Budroe |
| Very nearly zero. Your average cold has me on the skids. Yesterday it was sniffles and fever. Last night was a NyQuil Hallucination Extravaganza! Today, the cold is in my chest and lungs, and I am just a slight bit more than concerned by that reality. I've slept, and had a meal. That's my entire day. I began writing a post last night about missing the 3rd, and a couple of my pet peeves. It was really good! Where did it go? I have no idea! I'll see you in the morrow, and we can skin my hide for missing two days in a row in the new year, bringing my wonderful blue "stats" to 50% for the year~~ now I'll NEVER get that merit badge! SNAP! Fear not, I am still, as always,In His care, Budroe |
| Today, I had an opportunity to visit with a long time friend from long ago. a fellow truck driver. He, his wife and her 8 year-old daughter drove all the way down to Cool Springs, Tennessee from Elizabethtown, Kentucky just to enjoy my company for a six-hour lunch at Famous Dave's Barbecue. The food was pretty good, too! In His Care, Budroe Ode To John Matthew I know a trucker named John, who hauls freight hither and yon. With his freight he would go From lands of desert to snow, Look! He's here! Now he's gone |
| Like a blank screen, an entire decade opens up before us. Why is it, that for a writer, that can seem like a fatigue-creating moment? As a person, I can try to eliminate all the entire decade from my mind, minus those things I must need to remember. That takes a bit of energy on my part. I want to do that, really. I need to make room in my heart for an entire decade's worth of joy. The only way I can do that is to remove every moment of bitterness, sadness, anger, frustration, fear, and hopelessness from the corners of my heart. Only then will I have the room I need for all the joys that could be waiting for me in the years ahead. Even thinking in those terms terrifies me, but I'm working on it. It's pretty hard work. It's tiring, and for me very dangerous activity. But, it is an important task for me to complete, too. Look at the calendar on the left: it's so clear and clean. What would be the value of an entire year of blue? Has it ever been done? Not by me, it hasn't. Is it a realistic goal? Isn't it true that writers write--every day? Is five words in a blog so much? Not if those five words are significant to me, personally. My goal for each day this year is to live a life significant enough to merit five words a day in this blog. It's NOT a resolution, just a goal. I don't want to dirty the calendar, I just want to mark each day's significance here--no matter how significant, or why. Will I notice a kindness, a smile, or a hug from a stranger? Will I know that I did a good thing? What does it take to qualify for a five-word mention? I don't know. I'll have to take it one day at a time. That's nothing new. That's what I'm used to. If I can wake up, sit up and eat, it's a good day. Maybe I'll have to create a star system, or some kind of rating system for this. Any ideas? Any ideas worth five words? I know five words that are worthy of a mention: I remain In His Care! Budroe May this new day, month, year and decade bring you all the blessings of Heaven which are rightfully and especially reserved just for you! Write Well! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Bud Budroe  Buy the new book! |
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