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 |  Take a look into the world as I see it. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Blog header made by my good friend ~*~Damiana Returned~*~  "Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." ---Edgar Allan Poe ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Traditional Gemini Traits Adaptable and versatile Communicative and witty Intellectual and eloquent Youthful and lively On the dark side.... Nervous and tense Superficial and inconsistent Cunning and inquisitive ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** LIKES  Talking Novelty and the unusual Variety in life Multiple projects all going at once ReadingDISLIKES Feeling tied down Being in a rut Mental inaction Being alone Liars** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
It's been over a month ago since I adopted Jezebel. She is such a little charmer and such a flirt with Max.  Yesterday, Jezebel pulled her collar off just as I was about to leave for the dentist. When I came home later on that evening, I tried to put it back on her, and she attempted to bite me. I gave up trying to make her wear it for that night. Then this morning just before I left to do my daily 4 mile walk, I tricked her and was able to get it back on her. She didn't like that one bit. I know that cats don't typically wear collars and tags, but I am just doing it as a safety measure in case she were to ever run out. Max has a collar and name tag too, which has his name and my phone number on it. I actually got into a staring match with both cats today. They were both staring at me in a weird way, and I was staring at them. I lost my composure and just burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter. I couldn't help it. It just struck me as being funny. |
I heard about that He/She/It who's pregnant just a few days ago. I think it's unnatural and gross.  For the most part, I am very open-minded, except when it comes to transexual people. These people are so screwed up in the head. When a person has a sex change through surgery, they are legally declared a man or woman once the surgery is performed. If this is the case, they should be required to have all of the anatomy of the gender they are being transformed into. If you used to be a woman who wants to be legally declared a man, then you should lose the right to carry a child or become pregnant. I think this is so wrong......in fact, sex changes should be outlawed if you ask me. They are going to show this sick freak on Oprah, who is also a sick freak. I never liked her in the first place, and now I dislike her even more. Oprah's show is not a talkshow anymore, it's a freakshow. She's just as bad as Jerry Springer. Shame on that him/her for making this freakish crap a national spectacle. I feel bad for that child that's about to be born. What's going to happen when that child is old enough to understand how they were born? What if the other kids at school find out the whole story, that this child's alleged "dad" gave birth to them? That poor child is going to be subjected to all kinds of ridicule and teasing, and will probably need psychological therapy. It's sick! People say that it's no one's business but their own, but when they make it public on Good Morning America, and on Oprah, it becomes everyones business. Children are now under the impression that men can now have babies.  Why not? America was built on lies since the day it was founded. So, why not keep lying to our children?  You cannot change your gender. You cannot change your DNA. It's as simple as that.****For the record, I never said that gays or lesbians shouldn't be allowed to adopt or have children. That is a completely different issue. I never made this into a religious issue, and never mentioned anything about the bible in this entry. I am just stating that if this person was born a woman, and decided to be a man, but then decided to keep her female organs, then this person is severely confused and needs psychological help, because they can't decide on what they want to be. I am more worried about what this child will have to face when they grow up. That was my main focus for this entry. My sister Sheila agrees with me on this and so do my grandparents.....that it's immoral and gross. This is NOT a man, this is just a woman with a beard and biceps that's carrying a child. He/She/It isn't anyone special, and is just after undeserving attention. I just wish that the media would stop advertising it. There are more things in this world that deserve more attention, like the economic crisis; the homeless; and the criminals that are decaying our beautiful country. |
I called the dentist today because of my teeth acting up, and they had me in there almost 30 minutes after I called them. He shaved a little bit off of the very back tooth. Apparently, that's the one causing all of the trouble, and affecting the other teeth from doing their jobs. I am still favoring the left side for chewing. The Dental Assistant said that I might eventually need a crown for that tooth. In the meantime, they gave me this desensitizing paste to rub on my teeth to help with the pain, along with a sample of Motrin. She also told me to avoid anything that's hard to chew. Well then, they might as well wire my jaw shut so I can't eat at all.  I love raw veggies and raw fruits. The stuff that you buy from the freezer or in a can doesn't have all of the nutritional values of the raw foods. And when you cook the veggies, they lose even more of their nutritional values. |
| I am going to make this entry short. Ever since my dental visits on Thursday and Friday, my teeth and jaws have been bothering me. They replaced my metal fillings with resin (tooth colored fillings) and worked on some other teeth as well, so 8 teeth altogether, and then I am scheduled in less than a couple weeks to have the last two metal fillings replaced. Every time I eat raw veggies, anything crunchy, or chewy, it sends shock waves of pain through my jaw bones, ears and to my head, causing migraine-like headaches. I have to drink liquids or soft foods to get any type of nutrition. The sudden shift with the weather hasn't helped either. It went from 30-something degrees to 60-something degrees to 30-something degree weather within a 3 day period. My sinuses are in an uproar. I went to bed lastnight with a terrible headache which made it difficult to sleep. Light hurts my eyes and makes the pain worse, plus my ears and both sides of my jaw hurt. I think that it's my teeth and the weather that's responsible for the agony that I am in. I am going to lay down shortly because the headache, jaw, and ear pain are back tonight.  I just feel like my head is stuck in a vice grip and is about to explode! |
I had three more teeth worked on today. He fixed the very back one which happened to be the worst one and the most painful to fix. Now I just have two more to go and I will be all set. I am still in pain from the several shots of numbing medicine, along with some swelling and bruising. Then after all of that, they had to fit me for a bite-guard, where I had to sit there and hold the bite for two minutes straight. During what seemed like forever, I had massive amounts of drool dripping down, and I had to hold the bib to my mouth.  Very embarrassing. I'm glad that part is over with. |
| I went to the dentist today and had five of my teeth worked on. They asked me to come in tomorrow for three of the others. Then I have two more left after that. The right side of my mouth is still numb from four hours ago. I hope that the numbness is gone by 4pm, at least. I finished my fourth day in a row of walking. I am starting to feel the effects. I didn't really feel anything pulled or strained muscles the first couple times, one from last Thursday, and the other time on Monday. So technically, this is my fifth day of walking. Some people find working out a drag, but I think it's fun. Just call me weird.  I am not even going to count calories because that just takes the fun away from getting into shape. I think that's the biggest reason why most people fail. The last time I went through a dramatic transformation, I lost a ton of weight, and I didn't even count calories or restrict myself from anything, and I still lost a lot of weight. This was back in 2003. I know that I can do it again, and this time lose all of the weight.  |
In response to leading entry: "Invalid Entry"  The only abbreviations that I ever use are, LOL or LMAO. I don't even use OK, I would rather type "Okay", instead. For the most part, I hate abbreviations with a passion. Some of them are so stupid, like, IDK (I don't know), U (you), R (are), or PLZ (please). The list is endless, and I just don't have the time or the energy to list them all. Most of all, it's lazy. I hate short-hand and I will never resort to it, unless it's a prompt for a contest or something, then I can allow myself for such craziness.Written for:
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My Leading Entry For:
I have so many people ask me what my political preference is or who's side am I on. The truth is.......I am not political at all. I hate discussing politics with anyone, because it always ends in bickering and fighting. I have been called Anti-American because of this. Our country was built on democracy and politics. I don't condsider myself Anti-American by any means. I believe in the rights and fair treatment of others, as long as they're not guilty of some heinous crime like murder or rape. I vote too. I have been called Anti-American because the words, "I hate politicians." has been uttered from my lips. I hate politicians, because most of them lie and do shady things. They can't be trusted. Especially this latest incident regarding Detroit's political scandal with Kwame. Being a citizen of Michigan, yes, it does make the entire state look bad. But it shouldn't, because not all people from Michigan are whores like that. People don't need to be judging what they don't know. Of course, I have been called a heathen because I am not always in full agreement with what Republicans do. I don't feel that I have to believe in everything that the church preaches in order to be a Christian either. Although, I get labeled as such. I guess my question is this; What makes a true American? I guess this wouldn't be a fair question, because there aren't any right or wrong answers. Our country is so diverse with many cultures that have different beliefs and ideas. I would like everyone's opinion on this subject. If you live in any other country besides America, list what you think is unfair in your own country. |
| In response to leading entry: "Invalid Entry" I have to agree with that entry on some level. When certain people become popular, they do become stuck-up snobs, and think that they are better than everyone else. When I became promoted as a Preferred Author in 2006, it didn't change my personality or make me behave differently. It might be true about some people on here, but it isn't true about me. If anything, it inspired me to do more on this site. I can say this about myself. I am genuine in my journal. What you read about me, is the real me. I don't put on a show, and I tell things as they are. I have always acted like myself on this site and off-site. I don't put on a show to please others. I think it's stupid to pretend to be something that you're not. What's the point. Plus, I never act or behave like I am better than everyone else in the first place. Sure, I would like to see those who do act like that, get knocked off of their high-horse for a change. But what can I or anyone else do about it? Nothing, I guess. All I can say is, they will get theirs at some point in time.Written for:
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| In response to leading entry: "Invalid Entry" I can't recall ever falling off of a desk in front of students. However, I can recall doing other clumsy things in front of them. I have had many crowning moments of sheer and utter embarrassment in front of classmates, many of them being during band rehearsals or parades. Tripping in my shoe-laces at a football game in front of countless others, where students roared in hysterics, was one of those moments. Thank God it was before me and my band had to march out onto the field. I was fully dressed in my uniform, so I don't think anyone knew it was me. Boy, was I so embarrassed. Written for:
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| I started working out again since Thursday until the snow storm started on Friday. I finally started up again yesterday. I am feeling better already. It took the third time walking again to actually feel any effect from it. I am really excited about all of this. Oh, and I have an appointment to get into the dentist for the right side of my mouth on Thursday! Whoo hoo! Originally, they told me that they couldn't get me in until April 29. I don't think that I could've waited that long, especially since it's been painful to chew food. I am going to be so relieved to be getting this done. |
| In response to leading entry: "Invalid Entry" My next account birthday is on October 1st and I will be 3 years old that day. My real birthday is Friday, June 13th, and I will be 31. I will be 31 on the 13th, and it's on Friday the 13th, how weird. It never fails......I am always alone on my birthday, and I always get dumped on by my family. It doesn't make any difference to me anymore. It gnaws at me, but I try not to let on that it really does bother me. My 30th last year wasn't a total waste. My ex tried to salvage what I didn't get from my family. He took me out to this bar with his co-workers. I had a great time, it would've been even greater if we were actually a couple and not pretending that we were still together, or better yet if he were totally not there at all. One of his co-workers that always flirted with me, made me drink two pitchers of Bud Lite, which made me sick. I can't even drink one glass of beer with out wretching my brains out. I can drink a few hard drinks without it doing too much to me, but for some reason I just can't handle beer. Yeah, my 30th was a total bust for the most part in my eyes. I know the ex tried to do something for me, but it would have been better if he hadn't. Talk about sending mixed signals. I am in a better place now.  I am greatful for that most of all.As far as boundaries go, Sheila and I for the most part have settled on things. It would be a lot better if we were living separately from each other. We will just have to deal and compromise with each other until one of us can afford to move out. Written for:
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| I will be spending Easter alone today. I am not that upset over it. I am going to the grocery store in an hour or so and pick up a few goodies for dinner. I can take advantage of the alone time and maybe belt out a few new poems or something. My sisters all have plans to go places and my grandma is going to a relative's house, and grandpa is doing taxes. So, here I am. Happy Easter Everyone! |
| In response to leading entry: "Invalid Entry" I am Christian. Yes, I believe Easter is all about Christ dying on the cross and rising. I also believe he did it because he loves us. We would go to church first, and then to grandma and grandpa Clelland's house for a huge Easter dinner, and then hunt for eggs and baskets. I miss the family togetherness and traditions of Easter. My grandma & grandpa Clelland are gone, and now my dad. Holiday's are not as fun as they used to be. Grandma and Grandpa Meeth are busy this year. Grandpa has to do taxes and grandma is going to a relative's house for dinner tomorrow. My how the traditions have died. It is my hope that one day, I can meet a wonderful man, and have children to create new traditions with. I long for that day soon.When I was a little kid, I used to believe in the Easter Bunny. I always looked forward to finding the hidden baskets full of chocolate and candy. There were baskets hidden at both my house and my grandparents house. My favorite Easter basket item has to be the solid milk chocolate bunnies. Yum! Now, as an adult.....chocolate affects me differently than it did when I was a child. Chocolate for some weird reason, makes me.......well, ya know.........horny after I eat it. LMAO! It has to be good chocolate, not that cheap Hershey's crap. Unless it's Hershey's yummy organic chocolate, then I like it, or that cacao reserve kind. I am a sucker for milk chocolate. I am not too fond of dark chocolate.......too bitter. I only like the dark if it's complimented with mint or some other flavor with it. Gourmet chocolate cake with thick chocolate frosting is my biggest weakness. *drools in delight*  Written for:
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| In repsonse to leading entry: "And they paved paradise" I don't go on very many roadtrips. I have never even met any WDC members, with the exception of my cousin Melissa is fashionably late! , of course! One roadtrip that I remember the most fondly, was a trip to Orangeburg, South Carolina, in 1993. I was sixteen years old. My dad took us (me & Jill) down there after Christmas to see Belinda, our sisters Sheila & Molly, and our cousins, aunts, and uncles. It was a very scenic and beautiful trip down. Ohio was the most boring to travel through because the area we drove in was all industrial and business. It took 8 hours because dad drove straight down the middle. As soon as we got out of Ohio, the trip went a lot faster, lol. I enjoyed the drive through West Virginia with all of the mountains and other natural scenery, then Virginia was just as nice. We even went through this long-dark tunnel, and dad had me take a picture of it. North Carolina was also very pretty, then we made it into South Carolina. My aunt Scarlett who isn't originally from the south, made huge southern-style breakfasts' every morning. I ate everything except for the grits.  I can't stand anything that's runny. Ick! The best part of the trip was going to Myrtle Beach. I think that was the first time I had ever seen a palm tree. I just loved swimming in the ocean, and going to the Pavilion (an amusement park). I was with my cousin Matt who was just a couple months older than me. When we dried off, we were covered in salt. We went on a few rides that made us develop motion sickness, lol. The first one was the Gravitron, which didn't bother me, but it bothered Matt, lol. Then we went on the Witch's Wheel which is the ride that made both me and Matt sick. We didn't actually hurl or anything, lol. But we didn't feel very good afterwards. All in all it was a wonderful trip, with lots of pictures. I will never forget it. I think that if I ever go back there, I will fly there instead. Roadtrips are nice, but can be very rough with the long hours.Written for:
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| I wanted to be in pain after exercising yesterday, but I am not. I want to be in pain so that I know what I am doing is working. I guess I will have to walk twice as long as I did yesterday. I walked for a whole hour lastnight. I only feel a slight pull in my right leg and my feet. I am going to have to push myself to the point where I am in pain. Not that I like pain, but I want to know that it's working. |
| Well, I have finally started my walking routine again. I walked 3-4 miles today. I already feel good! My goal is to lose 60 pounds by June or July. Who knows, I might lose more than 60 pounds. I have read that the more a person weighs, the faster they lose the weight. That's what happened the last time I walked like this. I will probably walk everyday just to boost my endorphins and get my cardio up. My legs ache, but it's a good kind of pain. Since I am not working yet, I see this as a great opportunity to get in the habit of exercising. |
I really really really hate Jazlyn's father, Dan. I think Sheila put him up to calling me and asking if he can come and hang out at our apartment to watch my niece while Sheila does her promotions. I told him that I probably wasn't going to be home. I was going to come home at around 3:30pm today, but decided to extend my visit with my grandmother, since I hardly see her at all. So, at least I have a good excuse to stay away from home now. That is until Sheila has left for her promotions.  I don't understand why Sheila has to dump such shit onto my lap when it involves that sorry excuse for a human-being, named Dan. He had her for the weekend anyway. I told Sheila a long time ago that the scumbag wasn't welcome to our apartment. It never fails, when I want to go out and do something, I am asked to do things that stress me out. I don't want to watch my niece either, because she acts like the devil's child. She's too much to handle. If my cousin, Melissa is fashionably late! were to watch her all by herself for a day or two, she would be driven to the brink of insanity. |
| When Sheila and I first moved in, we had pretty decent neighbors and the building smelled nice. A lot has changed since November. For the worst. Just last month, some punk defaced the walls inside of our building with the word, "SOLE". It was on the arch of the door outside, and then on some of the doors, and on two of the walls on the second and third floors. We have quite a few new neighbors now, and I can honestly say that I hate them all. All of them smoke and stink up the building. I walk out into the hallway and I want to hurl. Cigarette smoke mixed with the stench of something else that I can't pin-point, gives me a headache and makes me nauseated. Then this past Saturday, there were some noisy assholes banging on shit and yelling between the hours of 11pm & 1:30am. Someone was even blaring their horn, which pissed me off, and then I heard someone yell "Shut Up!" It was annoying and very frightening. I wanted to call the police, but I couldn't figure out who was doing it. I could hear them inside the building and outside, but they weren't in sight. It finally stopped and I was able to fall asleep. Next time I hear this going on, I will call the police. All the more reason for me to move out. The smell and the loud noises on the weekend make me want to move out. I can't take it anymore. |
| Response to leading entry: "Invalid Entry" There are a lot of things that are unknown to me. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever: 1) Find a stable career 2) Get down to my ideal weight 3) Find a wonderful man who will love me for who I am 4) Get married 5) Have children These are the 5 main things that I wonder about all of the time. The first two are easier to achieve than the last three. At least I know that I can accomplish the first two. As for the others, it's very unknown whether I will have those things or not. I can only hope, pray, fantasize, and dream of these things for now. Written for:
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