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 |  My first blog! |
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A Haunted Place  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Who Am I? Ghoulish and dark, serious and intense Okay, I may have exaggerated a little bit! I'm not that gloomy and miserable. I do know how to have fun and I love to laugh. This is my first blog and I've set it up to help motivate myself to write every day... well, almost every day... well, more often than I write now.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I'm docked at "Blog Harbor from The Talent Pond"  , a safe port for bloggers to connect. |
| Question to anyone reading this... have you ever looked in the mirror and covered your eyebrows with your fingers to give you an idea of how you’d look eyebrow-less? If not, do it! It’s fun! Ha! Random! And silly. (I hate the word "silly". It doesn't even sound like a real word). Here’s more randomness... can you mirror write? I can, though I only discovered I could do it recently (thought I’d try it out after going to the Leonardo Da Vinci exhibition!) I can do it naturally, without thinking about it and at roughly the same speed as normal writing (well, perhaps a fraction slower). The weird thing is though that I can only do it with my right hand. Mirror writing is associated with left-handedness so I imagine right-handed mirror writing is quite rare??? Brains are soooo weird... especially mine... I’m in such a weird mood tonight. I’m bored. I can’t settle to anything. I’m addicted to “Firework Columns” on Facebook and have been playing it obsessively. Now my wrists and eyes hurt! I watched Finding Neverland earlier, which is one of my favourite films. I was an emotional wreck the whole time I was watching it! I love Johnny Depp in that film. His performance is just incredible. Plus he’s so nice to look at!  And Johnny Depp + Scottish accent = very hot!!! The only bad thing about Finding Neverland is the youngest child—the one who plays Michael. Why did they give that kid lines? Or why didn’t they get a child who could actually act and deliver lines naturally? It would be a perfect film otherwise...Aw, I feel bad for being harsh about a little kid now! I don’t know what to do... I’m sooooo bored...! |
| No, I haven’t suddenly become a lover of heavy metal music and the head-bobbing and hair-swinging that seems to be an obligatory component of that genre! Yesterday I banged my head. Well, I didn’t just bang it, I actually smacked it with an incredible amount of force against my car doorframe. I was taking my dog to the vet (nothing serious) and had just strapped her into the back of the car. Then I straightened up but totally misjudged how much room I had and that’s when I whacked the back of my head. I was momentarily stunned and just kind of stood there for a few minutes with tears streaming down my face and the poor dog staring at me as if I’d gone crazy! Ow! Anyway, I’ve had a headache since then and the back of my head feels very tender. I guess it is going to take a while to recover from such a shock! Today I feel like I’ve been repeatedly banging my head against something hard, and that has nothing to do with the lingering effects of actually banging my head yesterday. I saw yet another new doctor from the mental health team this morning and again went through the whole medication tango which is now so familiar to me I could dance it in my sleep. Yet again I was told how medication side effects wear off after a couple of weeks and yet again I tried to explain that I understand that but cannot possibly spend two weeks feeling so dizzy and drowsy that I can’t function. Nor can my nerves stand my thought processes and memory being messed up. They think I’m not listening to them and I know they’re not listening to me. So round and round we go. It’s exhausting. I am just exhausted. There are no words to adequately describe my level of exhaustion. It is unbearable. I could write about the positive things I have achieved today but that would spoil the overwhelmingly negative vibe of my blog! |
| Today I have applied for two healthcare assistant jobs and tomorrow I hope to send a vacancy enquiry email to a private healthcare company (I’m just waiting for my employment advisor’s feedback on my letter). ARGH! I’m not hopeful but at least I’ve tried. At least I’m being proactive. I really don’t know if I’m ready for work but I also don’t know if I’ll ever know without actually trying, if that makes sense. It just feels like it is a risk I need to take. And there’s no harm in sending out job applications. They might not come to anything. But if they do and I do manage to get an interview by some miracle, there’s no harm in attending it either. It’s useful just to get the experiences involved with job hunting and if I end up being offered a job and feel then that it’s too soon, I don’t have to accept it. Nothing is set in stone just because I sent out a couple of job applications! I need to keep telling myself that so I don’t go into full panic mode. It feels like the job stuff has taken up a huge part of my day but I did go out for lunch with my sister this afternoon, which was nice, and walked Jadey too, which was also nice even though it was raining. My doctor appointment yesterday was a bit of a disaster with him saying he’s not going to prescribe me any new medication because he thinks I’ll just say it gave me side effects and then not take it. I was so incredibly offended by that but wasn’t able to express it to him. So I just accepted it. But really, how rude! They’ve labelled me non-compliant and fixed the label to me with superglue it seems. He just wants me to attend my appointment with the doctor from the mental health service and see what he says. I knew he wouldn’t believe me. It’s so frustrating and really puts me off even going to doctors appointments. If they’re not going to listen to me, believe me and respect my view of what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to medication side effects, then what is the point in even going? Doctors can be so damn arrogant. I think they sometimes forget that they have a person in front of them, and not just a set of symptoms. But that’s enough of that. I’m so tired and stressed.  |
| Since I’ve been finding out more about autism I’ve realised that I have some quirks that are common in people who have an autism spectrum disorder. For example, I notice patterns in things a lot and always notice car registration plates. I could probably list the last three letters of every car plate on my street because I always read them as I walk down the road... and love to make words out of them! That’s such a fun game! Another one is that I find it extremely difficult to talk on the phone if there is any background noise, even if it’s just the TV on low or people talking quietly. I can never talk on my mobile next to a road and I really don’t understand how people do that! Anyway, apparently this is pretty common for people with autism and is something to do with auditory processing issues. I never knew that! Talking of phones... I hate them and wish they’d never been invented! I get so nervous about talking on the phone and if the person on the other end is a stranger and says something I’m not prepared for, confuses me, or gets impatient with me for whatever reason, I can’t cope and will usually just hang up or cut the call short with “okay, bye”, without waiting for their response. I hate to be rude like that but sometimes I just don’t know what else to do! I’m a weirdo, I know! But back to the whole autism thing...I haven’t spoken to the doctor who initially said he “senses” I may have high-functioning autism but I think I do want to speak to a professional about it to explore it further. The more I’ve read and learned about it, the more I think it makes sense for me. It just feels right. I know labels can be unhelpful and shouldn’t be important but I actually love them! They help to make the world a much more organised place. Labels can help a person to understand themselves better, which can only be a good thing. Plus, certain labels are important for people when it comes to accessing certain services and getting the help and support they need etc. Tomorrow I have to go to my interpersonal skills course but I’m not feeling especially motivated. As I need to get up early for it, and will be there for a few hours, I’m taking a sleeping tablet tonight to ensure I get enough rest. I do love those!  I also have an appointment with my GP and will be telling him that I’ve stopped taking the second antidepressant I was prescribed as they started to give me disturbing side effects too. I’m not looking forward to that... But there’s no way I’m going to take something that affects my ability to think.In other news I’ve received some pretty awesome reviews for "Invalid Item" so far, so yay!  |
| Well I did end up watching the Wimbledon final and I must say I’ve changed my opinion of Andy Murray. I think he did himself proud—not just in the way he played but also in the way he conducted himself in general. He was very dignified and gracious when his heart was clearly breaking. Roger Federer is just pure awesomeness though! I love to watch him play. It was a very exciting match. I kind of let my “Plug of the Week” slip and left "Invalid Item" up for about 3 weeks I think, though I only focused on plugging it for a week. It ended up receiving 63 views, 5 ratings and 4 reviews. I think the ratings were all 4.5 and 5, though I can’t be bothered to verify that!My new plug of the week is:
Here is the entry from my "Invalid Item"  "Invalid Entry" . |
| Today marks seven years since the terrorist attacks in London. It seems to me that people don’t care much, even British people. I hope I’m wrong about that. I certainly care. With the Olympics drawing closer I’m starting to feel afraid that something awful is going to happen. You couldn’t pay me to go to London right now! I’m looking forward to the Olympics but I can’t wait until it’s all over either. I need to stop writing about this now. Seems like this is Britain’s year for sport what with Andy Murray being the first British man to reach the Wimbledon final in seventy-four years. I might watch it but I’m not that excited. I don’t like Murray—he’s surly and seems to have a bad attitude. I hate that in sport.  I have a plan. At this stage it is a very tentative plan. I’m going to look into getting a job as a healthcare assistant. I recently went to a healthcare open day at Bedford University with Mark to find out more about nursing. A staff member there recommended I get a healthcare assistant job for experience and gave me the name of a private company that has an apprenticeship scheme. I’m going to ask my employment advisor if he can help me write an enquiry email to the company and take things from there. If it works out and I get a job and I like it, then I am going to apply for nursing courses that start in 2013. ARGH! I’m kind of torn between adult nursing and mental health nursing but I think I’d be better at mental health nursing and my grade A psychology “A” level might come in very handy for that! But nothing is definite and I still don’t have a clue if I’m cut out for nursing, which is why I must, must, must get some kind of experience first. There is NO WAY I’m applying for courses without feeling 100% certain that this is what I want to do. I’m not making that mistake again. I’ve already done the whole degree thing and I’m not putting myself through another one without knowing that it’s the right decision. I must be mad to even consider doing it again! I feel like this blog entry is really scattered. But that’s how my thoughts are at the moment. Plus it’s almost 3am and I’m exhausted. I must go to bed very soon! |
| One of the most annoying things about mental health professionals is the way they just dismiss people’s fears. For instance, I told my therapist the other day that I can’t cope with seeing yet another new doctor as it makes me too anxious and so I’m thinking of cancelling the appointment for the 20th. Her response was pretty much “Well just try”. Oh. Just try? Why didn’t I think of that? Does she really think it’s as simple as just trying? Does she think I’m not going to try? Then she said “I’d like it if you could go”. I’d like it if I could go too! That doesn’t mean I’ll be able to though. It’s maddening! Today has been pretty crappy. I haven’t done much. I don’t feel any better. I also have a very painful stye which is making me more miserable. I seem to be prone to styes. They are not fun! What is fun? I think I need some more positivity in my blog! I’ve started watching The Big Bang Theory from the very beginning with my mum. She loves it so far and I’m enjoying watching it again. This is probably my fourth time re-watching the series but it doesn’t lose anything on repeated viewings. It is, without a doubt, my favourite TV series EVER! I’m still reading the panda book which is also fun and I think I have come across the weirdest yet coolest job title: expert electroejaculator. Can you imagine this? “Hey mum, dad, I got a job today. I’m going to be an electroejaculator!” Ha! I wonder how someone would get into something like that. Maybe I shouldn’t wonder too much actually...! And on that note, after seriously lowering the tone of my blog, I’m going!!! |
| Well don’t expect any support from the mental health team! I’ve been told that if I’m in a crisis I can call the mental health team and ask to speak to M (my therapist) or C (the psychologist). I’m in a crisis so I called and this is how it went: “hello [name of service], this is C speaking. How can I help? (her name is C too but I knew I wasn’t speaking to the psychologist). Me: Can I speak to M or C please? C: We don’t have an M here. Me: (Thinking: yes you do. I have weekly appointments with her). Me: (saying) MT? C: We don’t have an M here. Have you got the right number? This is [name of service]. Me: Yes, I have the right number. Can I speak to C please? C: I’m a C. Me: (Thinking: no, you’re a moron). Me: (saying) CD (I was a little unsure of her surname, which is why I didn’t say it at first). C: Oh. She isn’t based here so I can’t put you through to her. Can I take a message? Me: (Thinking: ARGH!) Me: (saying) I’ll just leave it thank you. Okay, so I was an idiot because I could have left a message for C to call me but I panicked as the woman on the phone was so impatient and trying to make out I’m stupid. I know these people get a lot of crap but they also deal with very distressed and vulnerable people so you’d think they’d be able to demonstrate a little patience and maybe intuition and initiative too. Instead of asking for a message, which made me panic as I couldn’t think what to say, she could have asked for my name and number to pass on to C. She could also have openly asked if I’m in a crisis and then could have found someone to help me. But she didn’t. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I was going to speak to my employment advisor yesterday but he was off sick and was still away today. My therapist is a figment of my imagination apparently and the psychologist isn’t available by phone. I don’t know what I need but I feel I need some kind of help. I’d call the doctor if I wasn’t terrified they’ll have me sectioned. Plus I want to speak to someone who actually knows my history because I have absolutely no energy to go back over my life story. I suppose I’ll just struggle through another night and see how I am tomorrow. If I feel better, great, if not I’ll try to decide what to do. I don’t want to die but that really seems like the simplest option right now. That’s scary. Mental breakdowns are so damn exhausting. |
| Today has been the shittiest day I’ve had in a long time and this is probably the closest I’ve ever come to losing it. What “losing it” means for me, I don’t know, as I’ve never actually “lost it”, but maybe I’ll find out very, very soon. So... I found out today my CBT will come to an end sometime in the middle of August. It’s not like I thought it was going to go on indefinitely but I did think it would be more “long-term” and that when it ended I’d have made significant progress along the path of recovery. Really doubt that is going to happen now. I feel like my therapist sprang this on me today and now she’s on holiday so I get two long weeks of panic, stress and worry. The little bit of trust I had built up has been smashed to pieces. I knew it was stupid to trust or rely on anyone other than myself but I did it anyway. Well that is seriously the last time. I will be getting referred elsewhere in August. I don’t really understand where and don’t think I care much anymore either. I kind of shut down when the therapist was talking to me about it as that is my way of dealing with blind panic. I don’t know what is going to happen for me now but I do know I don’t have the strength, energy or desire to begin again and get used to yet another new person. I can’t believe this is happening and to make things worse, my employment appointments end in September. All the things that are keeping me going are being withdrawn. I feel sick with stress and worry. I feel so completely alone and frightened. I feel that all the people who’ve said things will get better and that I’ll recover are fucking liars. I feel hopeless and desperate and that I have no options other than suicide, but I don’t have the courage, strength or energy to do that. So what does that mean for me? I don’t have a fucking clue... |
| My ability and capacity to obsess over something is absolutely astounding and I really freak myself out sometime. The whole autism thing is still really getting to me. At least it has given me something to do! It has been another odd day! I won’t go into it. I just started reading “The Way of the Panda: The Curious History of China’s Political Animal” by Henry Nicholls. I have been in love with pandas since I received a cuddly toy panda for my first birthday (which I still have). The book is fascinating so far and it must be well written because I’m actually enjoying the chapter on genetics. I hated the genetics module I had to do at University but I think that’s because I had two very uninspiring lecturers. It is such a mind-boggling subject though! I might get a book on it from the library the next time I go. Grrrr... I’m finding it hard to blog because my sister is watching a really irritating youtube video on her laptop. Think I’ll give up! |
| I hate blog titles! Anyway, my day... what can I say about my day? Things got very, very weird this afternoon, stressed me out greatly and made me feel very down. But I can’t be bothered to elaborate. Don’t think I even want to actually! I’d love to just obliterate the whole “event” from my memory. Anyone know how to do that? My evening was better. I went shopping with my sister and we laughed a lot. I didn’t buy anything. When we got back I walked Jade and we had a nice time, even though I took her on her least favourite route! Tonight I have been kind of bored and lonely. I’ve read and watched a bit of TV. I haven’t eaten properly today, which obviously isn’t good. I’m tired but am avoiding going to bed. My medication is still making me feel sick and now I am worried that it is affecting my memory/concentration too. Okay, my concentration for things like reading can be bad sometimes, but my memory is normally excellent. Over the last few days I have often had a thought, then become distracted, and am then unable to remember what I was thinking about. I also keep forgetting what days and times my various appointments are, which isn’t like me. It is quite frightening but “memory problems” isn’t listed as a side effect so I don’t think the doctor will believe me if I tell him, and will think I’m just being my usual non-compliant self. But I can’t think what else it could be as I have never had this trouble before and it has coincided with me starting the tablets. Don't think I'm going to take them anymore.I can’t believe this is happening. |
| I’ve been neglecting my blog again! And I didn’t pick a new plug of the week. Mark has been visiting but he left this morning so I’m pretty sad. Things have been up and down for me. CBT has been going okay. I’m starting to feel more comfortable with the therapist and feel like I am saying more in sessions. I’m finding it so tough but am trying my best to keep up with everything, though I’ve been finding doing my scheduled activities extremely hard. I was prescribed some new medications, which has been incredibly stressful. Firstly, the psychiatrist told me that he wouldn’t prescribe me anything that could potentially cause weight gain after I said I wasn’t comfortable with that and then he went ahead and did it anyway. I really, really didn’t want to take it but eventually decided to give it a go and had the worst reaction to medication I have ever had. It made me unbelievably drowsy and dizzy to the point where I couldn’t function. I felt like I’d taken a sleeping tablet which just wouldn’t wear off and it was horrible. I was exhausted and frustrated and that made me snappy and I now feel really guilty for getting impatient with my dog. I’m not taking that one again but am persisting with the other one, even though it makes me feel very sick and has had a negative impact on my sleep. I was pretty worried about telling the doctor today that I don’t want to take the first tablets as I have been labelled “non-compliant” for medication (which I think is highly unfair, but that’s another story!) It all turned out fine though and the doctor was pretty nice about it. He did half-heartedly suggest I persevere with it until the side effects wear off but I told him that just isn’t possible! I need to be able to drive! Anyway, when I went to my GP last week I finally got a copy of the letter the psychiatrist sent them. Like the first one, there were a lot of errors in it. I am so amazed that psychiatrists can’t listen! Also, he wrote something which has since been on my mind a lot. He wrote that one of my responses in our discussion was “quite autistic in nature” and that he “senses” I have high-functioning autism. I have become pretty fixated on this and have been obsessively researching autism. It is driving me mad that I can’t remember my response so can’t figure out exactly what made him think this. I have wondered about this myself in the past, to be honest. I have always felt different to other people and have always been socially awkward. I have also come to realise over the past few days that I am very socially naive and have no idea how to initiate a friendship. I have trouble with communication, especially with people I’m not used to and find it hard to keep conversations going, particularly if I haven’t been asked a question (though open questions terrify me!) When I kept being told that I wasn’t engaging in therapy or my employment appointments I was totally confused because from my perspective I was and I remember saying to Mark at the time “do you think there is something wrong with me? Do you think I’m autistic or something?” When I think back to when I was getting assessed by the CPN before I started CBT, I can see we had some very circular discussions, because I just couldn’t grasp what she wanted me to say. Also, although I consider myself an emotional person, I often have difficulty expressing them or sometimes even defining them. Some other things fit too. I don’t like physical contact and before I put this down to what happened at the hospital. But now that I think about it, I’ve never liked it, even as a child. I didn’t even like (and still don’t) being hugged by my own mother! I also have this memory from school when I was about eight that kind of haunts me for some reason. When we were in the playground, after the bell went we’d have to line up in our form groups and then our teacher took us back to our classroom. Anyway, whoever was at the front of the queue always held the teacher’s hand. One day I was at the front and as we started to walk back in, the teacher held her hand out for me and I just didn’t want to hold it! So I pretended I hadn’t noticed and didn’t take her hand. This still gets to me now and I don’t know why. But some things really don’t fit and if I do have a form of autism, I believe it is very mild and atypical. I don’t think I showed many signs as a child. I was imaginative and enjoyed playing. Also, I am an extremely empathetic person, sometimes to the point where it is overwhelming and harmful to me. However, I read a theory that people with autism are actually over-empathetic but often “shut down” in an attempt to protect themselves. If true, this would fit me much better. Some other things that don’t fit are that I understand sarcasm and humour. I can also make eye contact with people, though to be honest this is something I have had to train myself to do and I don’t think I’m particularly good at it. I much prefer to look at someone’s mouth when they are talking! Now, with people I don’t know well or feel uncomfortable with, I mostly just glance at their eyes, then look away for a while, then glance back. Making eye contact is a very conscious thing for me, if that makes sense and I constantly have to think about it and work at it when talking to someone. But that’s enough on this subject for now. I’ve written loads! I feel like it’s consuming me. |
Here is the entry for it from my "Invalid Item" "Invalid Entry" Last week’s plug, "Invalid Item" , did really well. It got 37 views, 12 ratings and 11 reviews. I got 5 ratings of 4.5 and 7 ratings of 5 stars, so I’m extremely pleased about that! I'm happy today because Mark is coming later. I can't wait to see him! |
| Today has actually been a good day. Mark got some good news which has made us both so happy and relieved, plus, he can now come to visit me and is coming on Sunday. We’ll be together for our four-year anniversary on Monday, which we didn’t think would be able to happen. I was pretty distressed at the thought we’d be apart on our anniversary for the first time EVER, but thankfully it has worked out great! I had such a great walk with my dog earlier. She was in a “loving life” mood and really threw herself into the walk—quite literally at times as she did a few flying rolls! I saw lots of wildlife, including a heron, a mother duck and her ducklings, two swans and their cygnet and two geese with their gosling. That reminds me, my sister and I saw two foxes and a badger when we were out driving the other night which, which was so amazing. I’d never seen a live badger before. They were all together and I hope they didn’t start fighting or something.  They seemed pretty chilled though!Tonight I went swimming. I have been going fairly regularly as part of my CBT and I’m amazed that I’ve managed to do it every week so far, except one when I visited Mark. But then I just substituted it with badminton so that I was still doing something active. Anyway, tonight is the first time I went by myself as my sister couldn’t go. I was so nervous but I did it and I feel so proud of myself. And because I am in a good mood, I will share my current favourite song. It’s “Mystery Girl” by Roy Orbison which was written by Bono and The Edge of U2. I have a live version performed by U2 which is just STUNNING but I have only recently discovered Roy Orbison’s version, which is quite different but equally as good. I love it! This has got to be one of the greatest songs ever written!!! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] |
This week I have decided to concentrate on plugging:
The entry for this poem in my "Invalid Item" can be found here: "Invalid Entry" . |
| I’m tired and bored. I’m very stressed. I’m the heaviest I have been in a while. My weight is right at the limit of what is acceptable to me and that makes me feel so anxious and down. It doesn’t matter that even at this weight my BMI is still (just) in the underweight region. I feel enormous and when I look in the mirror I see enormous! This isn’t good, obviously. It’s pretty messed up. And I’m so sick of it. I’ve just spent a week in Cardiff with Mark, which was nice. It was a pretty full visit. We ate out a few times (which is probably why I’m getting fat!), went to the cinema to see Snow White and the Huntsman, had an afternoon out in Caerphilly, went shopping and played badminton. I’m happy to be back home but I already miss Mark. As I’ve had sporadic internet access, I didn’t pick another item to concentrate on and plug. I’ll do that tomorrow. I think it works pretty well! Since I started plugging it, "Invalid Item" has received 51 views and 9 ratings and reviews. I’m not sure what I’m going to choose next!I have a great idea for a poem but I can’t write it, which is so annoying. I don’t know what to do! |
| I could not be feeling sorrier for myself than I do right now! I’m seeing my therapist on Thursday but I wish it was tomorrow because I feel like shit. I keep thinking maybe I should call and try and speak to her tomorrow but then I think what’s one more day of struggling when I have been struggling for 11 years? And what’s the point anyway? I’ll say “I feel like shit” and she’ll say “why?” I’ll say “I don’t know” and she’ll probably say “are you going to kill yourself?” and I’ll probably say “no”. Okay, so maybe it won’t quite be like that but that’s the gist of it anyway. Wow I'm tired... |
| I can’t actually believe it but I have finally finished all my contest reviews! I know it’s bad that it has taken me this long, but I have been pretty unwell with depression these last few months. So at least I have done them. I said I would review them all and I kept my word. It feels like a weight has been lifted. Those reviews have been hanging over me for a long time! My plan to focus on plugging one of my items a week is going well. Since yesterday, "Invalid Item" has had 19 views and been reviewed 5 times. I’ve received two 5-star ratings, one of 4.5 and two 4-star ratings. That has been pretty frustrating actually as no explanations or suggestions were given with the lower ratings so I’m not too sure if the reviewers thought there are any problems with my poem. I don’t think it has any problems! There is nothing I want to change in the poem. I just want it to be read and see what kind of reactions I get.I think sometimes people think short-form poetry is easier than other types but I completely disagree with that. It can often be so hard to capture a moment or an experience and express it in very few words, while conveying the emotion of it and creating a memorable image in the process. I don’t achieve it often, but I personally think I did with "Invalid Item" . But perhaps I’m wrong!Anyway, I’m just happy people are reading it and I always appreciate it when someone takes the time to send me a comment. I got a 1-star rating for another of my poems today ("Invalid Item" ), with no review. How annoying is that? The poem really isn’t great but I know it isn’t that bad. Never mind. I just feel that if a person thinks a piece is that awful, they should tell the writer why. It’s kind of rude and also baffling, especially when the other ratings I’ve received for it aren’t as low. One good thing is that although I find this kind of thing irritating, it no longer upsets me, which it used to. I suppose now I’d rather someone hate my poem than feel indifferent about it! |
| I think I’m going to start plugging my work again. I thought it would be nice to choose one item each Sunday and then spend the week plugging it as much as possible. Then if I come across anything that I don’t want to plug, I’ll put it on private. If I think I’ll never want to plug an item, then I’ll delete it from my port! Anyway, this week’s poem is:
And here is the entry about it from my "Invalid Item" "Invalid Entry" .Now I’m off to the plug pages! |
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