StephBee's (sgcardin) Reviews

StephBee

Review Requests: ON

4,014 Public Reviews Given

4,228 Total Reviews Given

276

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4621898

Review of Day to Day happenings in my life

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE BLOG

Day to Day Happenings in my Life engages the reader by touching on life as it's passing by and topical conversations.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the length of the entries. They were just the right size. Not too long, not short, and always left me with nugget.

ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. They discussed life, family, and topics of the day.

EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. I liked the conversational tone.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more graphics, and links for a visual appeal. I enjoyed visiting your blog for the 2021 Bard's Hall Blogging Contest.

Reviewed by StephB

277

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14 days may be credited.

#4620885

Review of Spiral Bound Journal

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE BLOG

Spiral Bound Jounal is a blog that features fictional writing.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the creativity in the entries.

ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to dive and discover the characters.

VARIETY

There was a variety of posts, including topical themes and how today's world looks at them.

EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal. I especially liked how each entry was uniquely presented using WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I enjoyed visiting your blog.

Reviewed by StephB for the 2021 Bard's Hall Blogging Contest.

278

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14 days may be credited.

#4614061

Review of Matters of Heart

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Lady Elizabeth hires a physical therapist to help her with her spinal problem.

WHAT I LIKED

I thought the story offered a nice twist with the heroine being a physical therapist. It's not something I usually see with the genre. I thought the hero was spot on!

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Ann. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I might suggest a minor edit for dialogue tags. Only use "he said or she said" to identify the speaker. Use an "action" tag when speaking. For example, as written: "Thank you with the arrangements," he said warmly, taking her hand. A wave of joy washed over her.

My suggestion: "Thank you with the arrangements." Clayton wrapped his warm hand around Ann's. Her heart raced.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses, smell and touch to put the reader into the scene. The use of flowers and meaning would do well here.

SETTING

TIME: the past
PLACE: England

This is something that could be a tad more clarified for the reader. Is it the Regency period or perhaps the Victorican era?

CHARACTERS

Ann

There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's very warmhearted and giving, perfect traits for her line of work.

MECHANICS

I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. My other suggestion concerns voice. "Liz" is a much more modern way to say "Elizabeth," and it was slightly jaring for me as a reader, as it would take me out of the time period. I might suggest using "Elizabeth," or "Beth," but after Lady Elizabeth gave permission. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

279

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14 days may be credited.

#4609076

Review of Sunrise on Anzac day

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

THE PHOTO

The photo displays a sunset over water.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice compliment to the picture, tapping into hidden stories/people and inspiring the reader to remember them.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the picture evokes memories of the past.

STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which does not follow a 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I would suggest tightening up the poem to reflect a 5-7-5 traditional syllable pattern of a haiku. I love how the picture and poem compliment each other and inspire the reader to go deeper into the meaning. The poem/picture evoke a sense of peace. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

280

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14 days may be credited.

#4609065

Review of Antheraea

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

THE PHOTO

The photo is a moth against a ruler.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice compliment to the disturbing picture, as it explains how the moth got there and evokes the immediate feelings of the viewer.

WHAT I LIKED

This picture invoked an instant reaction from me. "eewww." It's a very powerful picture that says "look at me."

STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which follows the 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The picture grabs your attention and the poem adds depth. Well done. The poem/picture evokes emotional disgust and well, I think we'd all be freaked out seeing that moth. I also like how the title, which is strange, (it's the name of the moth) plays right into the dynamic of the picture and poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

281

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14 days may be credited.

#4609064

Review of Fyn Wave

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

THE PHOTO

The photo shows a whole showing off it's flipper.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice compliment to the playful picture, evoking a sense of reverence and respect as the whale says "hello."

WHAT I LIKED

The concept and the lighthearted word play. I enjoyed the sense of awe the author invoked with the words.

STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which follows the 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. I love how the picture and poem compliment each other. The poem/picture evoke good vibes with a lighthearted beat. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

282

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14 days may be credited.

#4609063

Review of Jumping Dolphins

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

THE PHOTO

The photo is a playful one, showing dolphins jumping out of the water.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice compliment to the picture. It's nice to see the dolphins enjoying themselves and bringing happiness to others.

WHAT I LIKED

The photo is very vibrant and expressive.

STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which follows the 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I like the picture, but I would would like to see the poem do more than describe what the dolphins are doing, maybe tap into the emotional response of the picture such as fun, vibrant, playful. The poem/picture evoke good feelings. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

283

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14 days may be credited.

#4609062

Review of Leaving

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

THE PHOTO

The photo highlights a sunflower surrounded by autumn foliage.

THE POEM

The poem is a perfect compliment to the autumn picture, as old becomes new giving into what nature wants.

WHAT I LIKED

The concept. Nice word play about old and new.

STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which follows the 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. I love how the picture and poem compliment each other and inspire the reader to go deeper into the meaning. The poem/picture make the reader think about nature's cycle, and even deeper, our own. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

284

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14 days may be credited.

#4609058

Review of PINK AND BLUE

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

THE PHOTO

This is a nature photo taken "upward" to reveal the skies. Trees are witnessing the sunset.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice compliment to the picture. As nature bares witness to God's work.

WHAT I LIKED

I enjoy nature photos and I liked how this one tied into God's wonderful work on Earth.

STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which does not follow the 5-7-5 syllable pattern. The pattern here is 5-10-6.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

My only suggestion is to work on the 5-7-5 syllable scheme. The poem/picture evoke a feeling of wonder. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

285

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14 days may be credited.

#4605264

Review of Once More Now

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Dylan and his invisible friend make pub night interesting.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked what happened to Annie. Poor thing. It made me chuckle.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person omnicient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

This was a dialogue challenge so the dialogue drives the story. The dialogue is conversational and engages the reader.

DESCRIPTIONS

It's hard to fit descriptions into dialogue, so I would say good use of trageted sentences to dribble in the description of the Pub

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting, Irish Pub

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Annie, Dylan, Unnamed friend

There's enough here to understand all their motivations.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. This was a challenging contest and the author did a great job with it. The dialogue felt natural to the Irish and there was a solid story that weaved in Irish lore. I like how the unnamed friend was implied to be a Leprechaun. It made me think as a reader. I had to read it a second time to make sure I didn't miss anything. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

286

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14 days may be credited.

#4605152

Review of Three Score and Ten [Now Thirteen

Review by StephBee

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE BLOG

THREE SCORE AND TEN
The blog was active SEP-DEC 2020. The blog focused on biographical entries.

ORIGINALITY

Each day was something new and I liked reading about Luna and Biscuit.

ORGANIZATION

The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING

I didn't spot any real isuses. I liked how the entries took on a conversational tone.

CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS

The blog had nice focus on biographical content. All the blog entries I reviewed were spot on - not too little, not too much.

VARIETY

Discussions were varied and well thought out. The theme of the blog, "biographical" tied all posts together.

ACTIVITY

Posts were hit and miss. Some had good engagement, some had none. I would have liked to have seen only because it was an interesting.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The introduction frames the theme of the blog well so you know what to expect.

This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!

Reviewed by StephB for the 2020 Quills

287

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14 days may be credited.

#4605124

Review of Writings in the Sand

for entry "Coffee and Philosophy"

Review by StephBee

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE BLOG

WRITINGS IN THE SAND
The blog was active about 6 months out of the year in 2020. The blog focused on personal/entertainment type musings from the author. Any posts having to do with Coffee

was a big hit with me.

ORIGINALITY

I liked the every day musings. It allowed readers to connect to the blog.

ORGANIZATION

The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING

I didn't spot any real isuses. I liked how the entries took on a conversational tone.

CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS

The blog had nice focus on personal, whimsical thoughts. The content on all the blog entries I reviewed was spot on - not too little, not too much.

VARIETY

Discussions were varied and well thought out. The theme of the blog, "emotional/personal" tied all posts together.

ACTIVITY

There was good engagment on the posts.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The introduction establishes a theme, but I might suggest using a graphic to lure more readers in.

This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!

Reviewed by StephB for the 2020 Quills

288

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14 days may be credited.

#4604997

Review of Complex Numbers

for entry "Got Muffin"

Review by StephBee

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE BLOG

COMPLEX NUMBERS
The blog was active every month in 2020. The blog focused on a WDC prompt, "30 Day Blogging Challenge."

ORIGINALITY

The replies to the prompts were very oringal and well thought out. I like the use of videos to frame some of the posts.

ORGANIZATION

The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING

I didn't spot any real isuses. I liked how the mechanics made the blog easy to read, and I like how the tone took on a conversational tone.

CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS

The blog had nice focus on the "30 Day Blogging Challenge." The content on all the blog entries I reviewed was spot on - not too little, not too much.

VARIETY

In regards to the prompt content, Discussions were varied and well thought out. The theme of the blog, "personal" tied all posts together.

ACTIVITY

There was good engagment on the posts.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The introduction gives a shout to complex numbers and highlights the Merit Badges the blog has earned.

This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!

Reviewed by StephB for the 2020 Quills

289

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14 days may be credited.

#4604931

Review of These Are My JOTtings, Part #2

for entry "Psalm 3:1-3, 8"

Review by StephBee

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE BLOG

THESE ARE MY JOT-TINGS PART 2
The blog was active all of 2020. The blog used WDC prompts, for example, ""Rhythm and Rhyme Challenge."

ORIGINALITY

The replies to the prompts were very orginal and well thought out. I also liked how the author used different poetry forms from hiakus to sonnets.

ORGANIZATION

The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING

I didn't spot any real isuses. Good use of WDC ML.

CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS

The blog had a fantastic focus on poetry. The content on all the blog entries I reviewed was spot on - not too little, not too much. I also liked their was a spiritual theme throughout. On several of the hiakus, I appreciated the nature theme.

VARIETY

In regards to the variety content, what I liked was the various forms of poetry the author used.

PARTING ACTIVITY

There wasn't as much activity/engagement which was a bit of bummer because the poetry was well written and engaging.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The introduction was engaging. Good use of graphics, WDC ML and inspirational quotes.

This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!

Reviewed by StephB for the 2020 Quills

290

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14 days may be credited.

#4600830

Review of Conjured Heartbreak

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 18+

| (1.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!

Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!

Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.

This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.

Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

THE POEM

Something happened to Cupid's bow so now it causes decay and darkness.

WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: UGLY. Cupid's good intentions have caused toxicity, decay, darkness and damning the lovers to hell and purgatory. That's rough.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem that doesn't have a rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

While intentionally bad, Cupid's slam seems to come off a bit misdirected at the couple and not on him.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

291

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14 days may be credited.

#4600827

Review of Cupid Plucks

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 13+

| (2.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!

Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!

Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.

This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.

Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

THE POEM

Cupid's arrow clearly wasn't tipped in St. Valentine's elixir because Beau can't get nowhere with Rose.

WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: BAD. Cupid plucks in vain.

I liked the story of Beau and Rose. This just wasn't their Valentine's Day.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with 8 two line stanzas. The lines in each stanza rhythm.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

While intentionally bad things happen to Beau, Cupid's slam (he plucks in vain) seems to come off a bit easy.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was not listed in accordance with the contest rules.

292

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14 days may be credited.

#4600825

Review of A letter to Cupid

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (1.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!

Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!

Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.

This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.

Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

THE POEM

Who needs Cupid when you have Tinder?

WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: UGLY. I especially liked: "So put on some clothes, don't flash your ass, go on a diet, at least show some class."

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with 2 stanzas and each line in the stanzas rythming.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Well done intentionally ugly Cupid's slam.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

293

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14 days may be credited.

#4600823

Review of Cupid's Dissatisfied Customer

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 18+

| (1.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!

Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!

Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.

This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.

Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

THE POEM

Cupid gets chewed out for his choice in "love interests."

WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: BAD. Cupid missed and gets cussed out but we only hear his side of the conversation.

I liked the line: "The only thing you'll get is brown bows and rose rust."

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem that has a AABB rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

While intentionally bad, Cupid's slam seems a bit tame to me.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was not listed in accordance with the contest rules.

294

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14 days may be credited.

#4595986

Review of The Cold Lands of Ifria

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Princess Griselda desires to find her brother despite her world's cold challenges and evil wizards.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the opening. I thought it was very engaging.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited in Griselda's point of view. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good job with dialogue tags.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might tap into the five senses, especially smell and touch to heighten the descriptions of Griselda's world.

SETTING

TIME: unknown
PLACE: cold, rural setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader. Time really isn't essential to the broader context of the story.

CHARACTERS

Griscelda

There's enough here to understand her motivations, she stays true to wanting to find her brother.

I thought the brother changed his motivations too quick at the end and it didn't feel natural to him, so I would on his character being a tad more consistent.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. You use exclaimation points a lot which makes the story feel a little melodramaic.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. Good imagination to create Griselda's fantasy world. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

295

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14 days may be credited.

#4595985

Review of A Place to Hide

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: ASR

| (3.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

A child is looking for a kind face after escaping horror.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. It offered hope in the face of a tough situtation.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. I might suggest a line break between the 4th and 5th paragraphs when the character POV shifts.

DIALOGUE

There's one line of dialogue which accents the narration. I might suggest using quotes=" and not ' for the dialogue.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: side of the road

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Josie

There's enough here to understand her motivations; she's looking for a safe haven.

MECHANICS

I might suggest a minor edit for spelling and punctuation.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. A creative take on the picture prompt. A suspenseful vignette. Good luck in the contest.

296

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14 days may be credited.

#4595793

Review of Final Thoughts of Human Discontent

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A thought provoking poem about loss.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem grew naturally shorter and shorter until the ending. It added to the meaning to the poem; as life got shorter and shorter.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no rhythming pattern.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

subtle yet effective. Examples:
Green grass is gone to stay
Memories hang in icy air.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I thought the title encouraged the reader to mull on the meaning. Expressive. I have no suggestions for improvement. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph

297

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14 days may be credited.

#4595738

Review of Winter Impact

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem describes a winter scene in all it's cold beauty.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the words used to describe the outside:
gnarled trunks
willowy branches
pale, dull, lazy, reluctant mid-day sun

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no rhythming pattern.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's a lot of nice, succinct word play. See above for descriptions. I think the poem paints a vibrant, chily, picture that puts reader nose-to-nose with the window.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I thought the title matched the poem. Very expressive. I have no suggestions for improvement. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph

298

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4589316

Review of An Unusual Letter

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE LETTER

A poignant look at how COVID has turned the letter writer and a nation around in it's response.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the conversational nature of the letter. It describes life and how one has readjusted to COVID and it's restrictions.

TONE

Nervously serious. There's a lot going on, a lot of uncertainity and the tone of the letter does a nice hinting at that.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything I might suggest a bit more paragraph spacing to make it easy on the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The letter touches on good and bad. It rambles a bit, but contains a lot of heartfelt emotion. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

299

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4589312

Review of A Ghostly Mistake

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

A couple of people who love horror stories get their dolls crossed up in the mail.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the characters. They were interesting and quirky.

DIALOGUE

There's a nice blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue accents the narration.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

300

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4589309

Review of A letter to COVID-19

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE LETTER

A heartbreaking look at watch COVID did to 2020.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author communicated in a way to really touch people. A lot of people had similiar struggles and can totally identify with the struggles and challenges.

TONE

Poignant. The author tells a personal story how COVID forced changes we all can identify with.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The letter is honest, full of emotion and to the point. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.