My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Warren has no patience in teaching his daughter, Grace, to drive.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the presentation of the story. Good use of WDC ML. The story was easy to read.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person omniscient. Present tense is used to tell the story, which for me, as a reader, was a bit disorientating. Most professional editors recommend telling a story in past tense. Present tense was consistent and the story did not jump tenses or POV narration.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Grace
Grace is the main character and she wants to learn to drive. Her father is exasperated and impatient while teaching her.
MECHANICS
I might suggest a minor edit for spelling mistakes. As written: "And she does look too well." I think that's supposed to be doesn't.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. My suggestion would be use the past tense. The characterization is consistent, but all the characters come across unsympathetic. I might soften them up by tapping into how each can be a tad more compassionate toward the other. I can see where the story drew inspiration from the song. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Georgios meets Maria when her family goes to turn in their olives, but can he get past her family?
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the ending and how it tied into the title of the story. Nice tie in, and made the story come full circle.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited by Georgios. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a separate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.
FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "It was good to meet you Georgios," she said stepping into the truck.
MY SUGGESTION: She stepped into the truck. "It was good to meet you, Georgios."
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural setting in Greece
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Georgios
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's attracted to Maria and wants to make it work with her, despite her family.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation, especially for commas. There are a couple of run on sentences. I would reword the following. As written: She spoke with an accent he had been taught to hate but he loved the way she spoke and the joy and energy in her voice made him want to sing out.
I would write: She spoke with an accent he had been taught to hate, but he loved the way she spoke. There was a joy and energy in her voice that made him want to sing.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening intrigues the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Billy's getting a new car with a lot of fancy features, but sometimes, new isn't better.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked Sadie. She fit like an old glove. Good characterization and good character voice.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited in Billy's POV. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue drives the story toward the end.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses. I can get a good visual sense of the setting, but as a reader, you can put me in the moment with a few strategic sentences that tap into touch and smell. What does the new car smell like. How does Sadie feel? What's the emotional reaction to that?
SETTING
TIME: the future
PLACE: dystopian desert
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Billy
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's excited to get something new, and doesn't realize what he might be missing.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE CNOTES
An all occasion batch of cnotes.
WHAT I LIKED
I thought the images selected where appropriate for the message.
ENGAGING
I liked the flower and bee. I wasn't sure what the first one was - a lollipop?
VARIETY
If anything, I might suggest expanding the folder. If you're going for all occasion, you might pick images for: encouragement, (the yellow you have now can go for promotion) inspiration, get well soon, happy summer, birthdays, etc...
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might define the tone/mood a bit more, maybe use a graphic or simply say Cnotes for all occasions. A good effort at creating cnotes! I would say the notes are a bit on the higher end of affordability. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE FOLDER
The folder houses the author's Cnotes.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the folder organized the different Cnotes.
ENGAGING
The introduction to the folder has a nice little gif of a gnome making a heart. That pulled me right in.
VARIETY
There were a lot of choices between cnotes: just because, halloween, get well, promotion, anniversary, birthday.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS
For the Bard's Hall Contest, I was looking to be directed to the Cnotes itself, as this link is to the folder that houses the cnotes. I enjoyed the creativity and the whismiscal graphic the introduction. That made me smile.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
The poem takes a look at the Christmas hustle and bustle, but hints there is more to the season if you just slow down to listen.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the message of the poem, very heartfelt and honest.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "the season is not all baubles and bows"
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. I liked how the author explored the dichotomy of the season, commercialism/fast pace vs slowing down and enjoying the emotional elements (gratitude/appreciation/kindness).
Reviewed by StephB for the Angel Army SEP 22 Review challenge
The poem, on it's face, tells the tale of changing weather, but upon introspection, hints at changing emotions that humans deal with as well.
STRUCTURE
This a Haiku. A Haiku is a traditional short form of Japanese poetry that engages the reader using a cutting word (kireji) Here, I would say that word is "harsh." There is a 5,7,5 syllable pattern.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem is easy to read and encourages the reader to go a little deeper.
Reviewed by StephBee for the Angel Army
and Submited to Good Deeds Get CASH
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE CNOTES
"Cnotes for Strength" is a great way to encourage and uplift someone who might be a bit "down."
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the quotes. I thought they were inspiring.
ENGAGING
Great quotes and I thought they matched the pictures well.
VARIETY
There's a good selection for specific occasions such as strength, courage, and inspiration. My favorite was the sunflower.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.
PARTING THOUGHTS
The introduction sets the tone of what to expect. If anything, maybe add a graphic to set the tone/mood? I loved the images for the cnotes and thought they were appropriate. Also, I thought the cnotes were priced well and affordable.
Reviewed by StephB for the Angel Army July Reviewing month.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Gary and Gnome is kidnapped and goes on the adventure of a lifetime.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the whimsical feel of the story. Very fun and heartwarming.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person from Gary's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural travel/tourist places
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Gary
Gary wants to go home. If I was him, I would too. If anything I thought that Gary just remembering the spell was a bit too convenient and I might have had him find a piece of trash with the words, or a maybe he overheard two other gnomes talking about the spell.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. A lighthearted story that is fun to read.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE FORUM
WdC SuperPowers Reviewers Group is a forum that encourages and rewards group members for reviewing the WDC Community.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the Raid with Us link. I thought it was a great opportunity to develop reviewers. The list of Quill nominations and finalist badges were impressive.
ENGAGING
I thought was very engaging. The community members are listed which I liked and it was heartwarming to see the white suitcases as well.
RULES
I thought the rules were easy to understand and read.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS
Good use of WDC WL and graphics. The opening YouTube video was something neat and that I hadn't seen before. It does a great job setting the tone/mood for the Group. If anything, I would have loved to see what the exclusive merit badges were.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE FORUM
Daily Flash Fiction Challenge is a forum that offers a daily prompt for the writer. The flash fiction must be under 300 words.
WHAT I LIKED
This contest is definately a challenge - in a good way. I thought of it like a "tune up" - in that if you were getting ready, this is a good way to focus on a particiliar element of your writing you wanted to develop.
ENGAGING
The form is very encouraging. There is a lot of community support and entries.
RULES
The rules were clearly stated.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to highlight rules/points for the contest.
PARTING THOUGHTS
The graphic grabs the visitor's attention and sets a good mood/tone for the the forum. This contest is a good way to be active on WDC.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE FORUM
Shadows and Light Poetry Contest is a forum that focuses on Free Form poetry. The contest is open from the 15th to the 14th of every month.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked that the focus was on free form poetry.
ENGAGING
The form is very engaging. There is a lot of community engagement. I thought the title/name of the forum was intriguing.
RULES
The rules were clearly stated and easy to understand.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to highlight rules/points for the contest.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I liked the presentation. The graphic grabs the visitor's attention and sets a good mood/tone for the the forum. I'm happy to say I was honored to enter the contest! I would encourage others who enjoy writing Free Form poetry to enter as well.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE FOLDER
The Folder contains a variety of nature poems.
WHAT I LIKED
I enjoyed all the poems I read. They were easy to read and enjoy.
ENGAGING
I liked the conversational style and rythmes of the poem.
VARIETY
I read a poem about the sun, winter, a flower and autumn. I enjoyed how one poem played with words, and how one tapped into the sense of touch. One poem evoked emotion, while another evoked a heartwarming visual for me.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone/mood for the folder, if doable. The folder stays consistent with the types of items within it.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
A poem about the beauty of winter.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the word play of the poem, using the word "beautiful" in the first lines makes the words "frost" and "stars" (implying cold) glitter in beauty.
STRUCTURE
This is a contest entry which requires the poem to be 24 syllables and use the word tarnish.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling, punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the font bigger and easier to read.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem is easy to read and is cold, evoking a shiver, with a focus on the sensation of touch.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
On The Write Path is a travel blog and engages readers through the various travels of the author. The author went to Portugal for a visit!
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the pictures and just every day notes about the places visited.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts in that it was a different city, different day, different people, and different set of circumstances. Every hostel is different.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm not so picky.
PARTING THOUGHTS
Good use of graphics, pictures, and WDC ML. I enjoyed visiting your blog and sharing your adventures.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
Spiral Bound Journal engages the reader by telling a fictional story of characters who are a couple of degrees related to each other.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the characters were interwoven into each other's lives. Well done.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to keep reading - onto the next post to find out what's going on next. It may not be what you think, which keeps the reader on their toes.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts, in that characters, setting, situations changed. Nice focus on life situations.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read. I liked the color switches with the font, if anything, my only suggestion would be to increase the font size a little.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm not so picky.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic maybe in the manner of a cover in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I enjoyed visiting your blog. Thanks for blogging for the Bard's Hall 2022 contest!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.75 seconds at 1:24am on Jun 17, 2024 via server web1.