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Review of Under the Bed  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review for "Under the Bed"  from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones" 

*Reading* THE POEM

Is it safe to look under the bed even if your feet are firmly under the covers? You never know what lurks in the dark.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I used to keep the covers tucked up to my chin so the vampire wouldn't get me when I was a kid. And I never looked under the bed because there were evil things like "Dust Bunnies" under there. I like that this poem has a universal appeal, not only to kids but to adults.


*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. While there are rythmes, there's no pattern to the rythming. The way the poem is structured does make a for a rhythmic read.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

The descriptions appeal to the kid in everyone. They're simple and easy to visualize.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

This is a poem that resonates with a majority of readers. We're all safe in our beds. Darkness brings the unknown and the unknown freaks out everyone. Good use of words to paint pictures. Write on!

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Steph's Signature for Game of Thrones }
452
452
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review for "Resignation Letter from ACS"  from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones" 

*Reading* THE LETTER

The letter is a passionate resignation letter to the American Cancer Society.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the passion behind the letter. Obviously something happened that upset the author very much.

*Star* VOICE

The voice is passionate, upset, and on a mission to let the American Cancer Society know that it shouldn't treat hard workers and people who invest in cause so shabby.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

If anything, I think describing an example of where the ACS treated Issac so badly would make the letter extremely poignant.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. It's a shame that institutions such as the cancer society are run by people who "twist" the cause and don't follow thorugh like they should. It just brings down the good that is trying to be accomplished.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Steph's Signature for Game of Thrones }
453
453
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review for "Medical Treatment Is A Pain In The..."  from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones" 

*Reading* THE STORY

Dorothy isn't impressed with the medical care she received.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

This is an easy to read story, and readers, especially myself, can identify with just about everything Dorothy went through.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Dorothy. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue accents the narration. Good use of dialogue tags.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses. Put the reader there with Dorothy. I think a few stragetically places sentences about smell would be great in this story.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: hospital

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Dorothy

There's enough here to understand what she's going through. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything, I might suggest spacing between paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes here on WDC.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader and kept me reading. I enjoyed the 'character' voice of the story. ((hugs)) to Dorothy for her less than steller medical care.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Steph's Signature for Game of Thrones }
454
454
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review for "The Effects of Hypothyroidism:"  from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones" 

*Reading* THE ESSAY

The essay talks about what Hypothyroidism is, how to recoginize it, and how to treat it.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

There was a lot of information in the essay and I learned a lot about the topic. I knew about hypothyroidism, but I had no idea how it effected the body.

*Star* STYLE

The writing style is very "up front" and presents facts. While I found the topic interesting, it's a "dry" read.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to understand how the condition effects the patient.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I thought it was very interesting to discover that Napoleon suffered from hypothyroidism. It was also interesting to learn that the condition affected men and women differently. I would be interested to know hypothyroidism has affected any more famous historical figures.

Overall, there's a lot of knowledge in the essay. Thank you for sharing.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Steph's Signature for Game of Thrones }
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455
Review of Time  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review for "Time"  from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones" 

*Reading* THE POEM

Our society is moving forward with industrialization, but will how far will it inspire us to change our norms?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the visuals. I could the machines working, the brass parts glowing in the steam, and technology moving us toward the future. Good use of words to paint pictures.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form with an ABAB rhythme scheme. I might suggest using a line break between quarterns so it's easier on the eyes for the reader.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for a bit more punctuation.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to visualize a room full of steampunk machines hard at work.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I liked the last two lines:

The pendulum swings to and fro
… it'll never take our crown

Steampunk is change. It's different, and yet, how does it move society forward? When HG Wells wrote and inspired the genre in the UK until now, there still is a monarch on the throne. Does what matter in the world change? Government? Government policy? Food for thought. Time will tell.


Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Steph's Signature for Game of Thrones }
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456
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a review for "To Begin Again ..."  from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones" 

*Reading* THE POEM

HG Wells inspired us to build a time machine, but will we like what the future holds for us?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the visuals that the poem offered. I could see steam and brass coming together with rivets and metallic smells, pushing pistons and daring us to dream.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a poem with quaterns. There's an ABAB rhyme scheme in the quatrains. Common meter is 8/6/8/6. The meter makes for a easy read.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to present the poem.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to visualize a future filled with steam and attitude.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Steampunk was born out of the industrial age, but if it's not reigned in, then what will happen to the Earth? This poem gives us a glimpse of the future and dares to change it. Just what HG Wells did when he was writing. I also liked how the poem starts with Wells' inspiration and takes it forward. The poem embodies the steampunk genre well.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Steph's Signature for Game of Thrones }
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Review of Wrong Delivery  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review for "Wrong Delivery"  from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones" 

*Reading* THE STORY

Stacie gets some flowers, but are they really for her?

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I think this is a situation that a lot of peope can identify with.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Stacie. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue drives the story. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "That's what we're all dying to know. Open the card," Carole demanded

MY SUGGESTION: "That's what we're all dying to know. Open the card." Carole put her hands on her hips.


*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I don't know if you had a word limit, if so, this works. If not, you might consider a few stragetic sentences that touch on the 5 senses. How did the roses smell?

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: office

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Stacie

There's enough here to understand her motivations. I think she does a great job downplaying the incident. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. I thought the dialogue was very natural and not forced. Write on!

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Steph's Signature for Game of Thrones }
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458
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a review for "Lassy Tries to Try "  from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones" 

*Reading* THE STORY

Lassy the cow likes to stay in her herd and moo her heart out. What do her fellow cows think?

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the heartfelt lesson of the story and the narrator's voice.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Lassie the Cow. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I could definately picture Lassy the cow and her pasture.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural setting?

This is something that that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Lassie

There's enough here to understand her motivations. Lassy is very comfortable with what she knows. She she's forced outside her comfort zone she must adapt and grow. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. Check: "mi-moo grinned to herself."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. A delightful read for young readers!

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Steph's Signature for Game of Thrones }
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Review of The Sun Also Sets  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a review for "The Sun Also Sets"  from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones" 

*Reading* THE STORY

Hooves uses a time machine to visit Ernest Hemingway.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the character voice. Hooves is a larger than life character, indeed! *Smile*

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 1st person by Hooves. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue moves the story forward. Excellent use of dialogue tags. I especially liked: "What a fine, noble bull!" Mr. Hemingway stated correctly. It really lets Hooves personality shine.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I suppose you've could've added a tad more description to Hemingway's cafe. There's a good economy of words which really convey the tone of Hooves' personality.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day then the 1920's.
PLACE: cafe

This is something that is clarified enough for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Hooves

There's enough here to understand his motivations. Hooves is a writing bull full of inspiration. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML makes the story easy on the eyes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

My only suggestion would be a tad more description on Hemingway's cafe. The opening line is a great hook. This was an easy, enjoyable read that brought a smile to my face.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Steph's Signature for Game of Thrones }
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460
Review of J'ai Vu  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE IMAGE

*Reading* An image of a cat and a French expression hang from a post. It reminds me of signage in Europe, especially when I was stationed in Germany and they would have signs hang near the doors.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

The image is whimsical and inviting.

*Star* ENGAGING

I like the soft colors. They engage the viewer to explore.

*Star* INTRODUCTION

The introduction does a great job explaining the meaning of the image.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good spacing.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I have no suggestions for improvement. A heartfelt image that dares the viewer to say, "What did you see?"

Reviewed by StephB for Bard's Hall MAY 2017 contest .
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature }
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461
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

This is a story about the Banshee Queen and her lover.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem told a story. I especially liked this stanza: "Yet, he could not assemble it..." I was challenged to think about what was being said and excited when I figured it out. The poem touches on many things, temptation, devotion, love, and angst, fear, and death.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with an ABAB rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Great storytelling!

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
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462
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Jim and Doris take an anniversary trip and get stuck on a ski lift.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the couple's dynamic. Fussy and honest.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told past tense.

*Star* DIALOGUE

This is a dialogue contest. The dialogue drives the story. The dialogue comes across as natural.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: ski lift

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Jim and Doris

Both characters are engaging. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion would be to spell out "OK" as "okay."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening gets the reader's attention. There's a very amusing ending that's consistent with the charaters and their fussy nature. Good character driven vignette. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Frosty's Revenge?  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Frosty is a Snowman scorned when Prof. Hinkle and Hocus Pocus do him in at the Greenhouse.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

The writing style is easy to read and understand. Good voice.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Frosty. The last line shifts to Hocus Pocus. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue compliments the narration.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the five senses. Just a few strategic sentences would help to paint a visual for the reader. I would focus on Prof. Hinkle's house.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban setting?

This is something that could be a tad more clarified for the reader. Is this an urban or rural setting? Is it modern day or 50 years ago?

*Star* CHARACTERS

Frosty

There's enough here to understand his motivations. Frosty wants revenge. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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464
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Definitely a dark look at the secrets of the heart.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Good use of word play.

*Star* STRUCTURE

All the lines in the stanza rythme: AAAA, BBBB, CCCC etc...

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem explores dark themes using dark words, offering up: what secret of the heart could of have died? My interpretation: happiness, but it's let open for the reader to discover what secret works for them. My suggestion going forward, having read the poetry in your port is to explore different styles, different themes, slant rythmes, which I think you'll be good at and have fun with your exploration. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

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Review of Effigy of a Life  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

An effigy defined, is a model made which is intended to be destroyed. The poem then goes on to explore the "effigy of a life."

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem explored "darker" themes such as depression and life after death.

*Star* STRUCTURE

There are no stanzas, and an inconsistent rythme scheme along with slant rythmes. If anything I might use stanzas and tighten up the rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem makes the reader think. There's nice word play. A life is made and then the challenge is to keep it from being destroyed in an unhealthy way.

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

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Review of An Enigma  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Is life an enigma? The poem explores the question.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Defined, an enigma is a mystery, a puzzle, something to figure out or difficult to understand. It plays into the overall theme of "life is an enigma."

*Star* STRUCTURE

Every other line tends to rythme, but the scheme differs from stanza to stanza and the 3rd stanza uses a slant rythme, similiar to Emily Dickenson's style. I might just tighten up the rythme scheme to show a consistency in the patterning.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Nice word play. The last stanza is very poignant. Enigma, simply put is how we choose to live to our lives.

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

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467
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Darkness has a way of imparting secrets. If you're willing to listen.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how each stanza start with the invitation: "Darkness, what can you tell me?" It brought the discussion back to the center of the circle for the reader to ponder.

*Star* STRUCTURE

Roughly, the ryhme scheme consists of 2 lines rythming with each other, but the lines are consistently inconsistent. The 1st stanza is AA, BBB, CC, DD, EE, FF, the next stanza is different. The rythmes do make the poem more engaging.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Some of the themes I identified, or at least spoke to me:
Learning the hard way (you'll remember it better)
Some pain time cannot replace.
There is hope after life, despite the darkness in one's life.

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

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468
Review of Atlas  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Atlas is the world bearer who sees the plays of the world as they unfold.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poem has a nice flow to it that makes it easy to read.

*Star* STRUCTURE

There is a AA BB rythme scheme. With the longer last stanza, there is a CC added.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem makes the reader think about the totality of life and dares one to stay true to themselves. (At least, that's what I personally got out of the poem.) Well written.

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

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Review of The Blind Date  
Review by StephBee
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Danielle prepares to go out on a blind date.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author captured the anxiety of getting ready for a date. I think we've all felt that at one time or another.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person limited by Danielle. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a limited amount of dialogue. It accents the narration well.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses and placing a sentence here or there to accent the description.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Danielle

There's enough here to understand her motivations. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening draws the reader into Danielle's world. The author did a great job with the ending, as I didn't expect it as a reader. Write on!

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by StephBee
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

There's a witch doctor in Barcelona causing trouble.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the story flowed. It was tense and nervous and I wanted to know what happened next.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue heightens the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. The author uses good work choice to "amp up" the suspense. For example, "Her eyes prowled."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: historical
PLACE: urban historical setting

This is something that could be clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Enriqueta

There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's a witch. She wants money and will do anything for it. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

Check the spelling of "witch" in your blurb, it's written "which." I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. Punctuation should be included in a dialogue tag, not outside.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader and keep them reading. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

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Review of Canine Crossword  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CROSSWORD

*Reading* "Canine Crossword" is a Game of Thrones inspired crossword.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

This was fun to take. I knew most of the answers without having to look anything up.

*Star* ENGAGING

The questions were engaging to the taker.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of questions.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the crossword. Well done.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration.

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Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CROSSWORD

*Reading* "House Greyjoy Crossword" focuses on Theon and his family.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Good use of Trivia about house Greyjoy. Wish I knew more!

*Star* ENGAGING

The crossword engages the taker using a Game of Thrones inspired theme.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of choices.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I liked how when I plug in answers, it automatically showed it on the crossword.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Good use of a graphic in the introduction to set the theme for the crossword.


Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration.

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Review of In Time  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is about losing someone from your life, than gaining them back.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem evoked emotion, especially longing. I think it's an emotion that any reader can connect with.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme varies from stanza to stanza. The author also uses slant rythmes within the stanzas.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. This was an easy poem to read and understand, but you could easily take it to a deeper level. Word selection was dynamic.

Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum

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474
474
Review of Closed  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

What happens when a closed mind is opened?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

What I liked about this poem is that words are used to paint a picture of a steel cage, but the deeper meaning deals with the cage of the mind, and what happens when the mind is free.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme varies from stanza to stanza. Slant rythmes are employed in a Dickinson-esque manner.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem makes the reader go deeper, to think about the different "cages" in life that hold us back. Or perhaps prejudices? At least, that's what I got from it. I think that's the brilliance of the poem - how different people can take it to mean different things.

Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum

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475
Review of Sorrow  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Very visual - a scary scene is painted. What comes to mind is a medieval prison.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poem evokes emotion well. I had a scene of being chained, cold, scared, and uncertain.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme varies from stanza to stanza.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Good use of dynamic words to evoke a picture.

Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum

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