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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. 
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| Just a lazy kind of day, not getting much of anything done, and wasting away the day. I did get the van in to the shop to have the fuel filter changed, and I did make us a nice lunch. I still need to do a schedule for work so I can go over it tomorrow, and then it's just more of the same, lazy, take it easy day. I am getting this written now, so I don't end up staying up late tonight to write this, since I have to work tomorrow. I should finish figuring up the bills and get some stuff sent, but then again, why mess up a nice day. Of course, I do need to get to this task right soon, and I suppose today's as good a day as any. But, that's about all I plan on getting done, and then it's relaxation until it's time for bed, and hopefully I can start my work week out rested and ready to go. I already ate a big meal, so we will only lunch a little later this evening, and maybe some brandy to relax with after. I've got kind of an upset stomach, so I'm not sure about what I will eat later, or if I want to drink anything other than water or not. It's always difficult to say if a brandy will settle the stomach or make it worse. Maybe I'll have a mint and a cup of tea instead to see if that settles it down some. Other than the tummy feeling a bit off, I feel pretty good, just tired. Not that I didn't get enough sleep last night, I had a nice night and a full night. But, I still feel tired and think the weather today is as much to blame as anything. It's dark and gloomy, wet and cold, and the wind is howling outside the windows. Even the dogs are just sacked out; a Dinger on the bed and a Bugoo in the chair next to me. What? You don't know what a Dinger or a Bugoo is? Well, let me explain. When Rhonda and I started our life together, I had been divorced for a few years, was raising my three teenage children, and working in a sawmill in northern Minnesota. Of course, living amidst all those fine looking Minnesota women, I had tried my hand at a few romances after my divorce, but nothing really seemed to work out. A big part of the problem was the fact that I had been married for some time, was a dad to three teenage children, and wasn't up on the dating seen. Also, I had married the first time right out of high school, much too soon, and before I even knew who I was. On a side note, for any non Minnesota women who read the above comment, please don't think I'm suggesting that if your not from Minnesota, your not fine looking. Quite the contrary, after spending some years in the United States Air Force, I was quite aware that there are fine looking, wonderful women in every state, as well as around this big ole world. I only intend to point out, I was living in Minnesota at that time, and was deprived of the beauty and charm of all the other fine women the world over. Now, to continue. I tried some romance, but I wasn't ready yet, I needed time to find myself, and most importantly, I needed to find happiness and contentment within myself. It was time to stop looking for a female partner to provide these things, since there was none who could. No, I came to realize I had to find it in myself, and then, and only then, could I enter into an intimate relationship and share that happiness and contentment with another. This was not a sudden realization, an epiphany. No, it came slowly through some unpleasant relationships, some deep soul searching, and spending many nights under a northern moon, watching the reflection dance on the waves of a cold deep lake. I would meditate and look inward, then write what I found. Mostly I wrote some poetry and prose, but even a short story or two came up and out. The thing is, they were perhaps fiction in nature, but they were real in my emotions and feelings, my thoughts and desires. I had found within, a way to express myself and to finally see who I was once all the layers of living were peeled away. Again, this was over time, and bit by bit I rediscovered who I was, what I believed in, and what I stood for. Yet, I had not even scratched the surface of what would be revealed, in time. It was enough to understand that I needed time and space to uncover more of what was there. Yet, even then I would find an inner loneliness that was eating away inside. It wasn't just the divorce that had left this loneliness, it had been there for a long time. I could search back to my early childhood and see that beast, called Loneliness, raging inside. In my portfolio is a poem about that very beast, by the same title. I know knew what the battle was, and it would be a long and bitter fight, but in the end, I won out. At this time, however, I really doubted I would ever beat the beast within, and longed for someone to share my life, to share a sunset, or walk through the autumn leaves holding my hand. But, I had learned that this was not going to happen until I had managed that journey alone first. Luckily, there was someone who could provide the companionship I needed. A new born Golden Retriever puppy. I missed her birth by a few hours, but right from the start she had connected to me. Since I was so out of touch, though, I had picked out two other pups from this litter that I was thinking about keeping one of. Of course, this young pup who had connected to me wasn't going to let that happen, and by five weeks, she had managed to escape her holding pen and seek me out. After that night, there was no keeping her away, she would eventually find a way out, or cry so much that I would let her out. Once she was with me, she would sleep or lie peacefully on my shoulder, nestled in my hair. That was in December of 2001 and except for a few times when there was no choice, and when I was at work, we never left each the others side. Her name was Klarissa, and she was a very special friend. I cannot use the term dog, for she went way beyond what a dog can do. She never stopped learning new tricks, and could do more than I could even remember. Even more amazing was how I taught her. It was easy enough, I just had to show her what to do, and then tell her the command. Twice, or three times was all it took, and then she knew and we moved on to the next. She could hunt and retrieve as if schooled for the task, yet she was gentle and nurturing as well. When Rhonda entered my life, in February of 2002, there was a little tension. Klarissa tolerated Rhonda, but had not accepted her. In Klarissa's mind, Rhonda was second female, and she was first. But, then the time came when the last child graduated, and it was time for me to start a new life with Rhonda. We moved here to South Dakota, and at first stayed with my brother until we found a house. It was when passion overcome Rhonda and I while working on this fix up project of a house, that Klarissa relinquished her position to Rhonda. We had been working up in the bedroom and passion took control. Soon enough we were in a lover's embrace on the bed, and then making love. After, we lie in each others arms, and Klarissa comes up to Rhonda and tells her just what she has on her mind. Of course, it didn't come out in words, but it wasn't barking or growling either. It was a serious of sounds, almost sound like, as this Golden Retriever pup looked straight into Rhonda's eyes. Then, when she had finished, she tipped her head and placed it under Rhonda's hand. From that day on, Klarissa never slept next to me again, but had switched over to sleep by Rhonda's legs. Even so, Klarissa was very set to let anyone know she would mind only as much as was required, but she would do anything I asked of her. She was always by my side, on my feet, or beside me, except at night when she took her place beside Rhonda, who was now beside me. Rhonda of course loves animals, and it was difficult for her since she had just lost a very loved wolf she had raised from a pup. So, since it was clear Klarissa was strictly my companion, we set out to look for a Golden Retriever for Rhonda. We found one who was in desperate need of being saved from his fate. Being the runt and already showing signs of neglect and malnutrition, we couldn't do anything except bring him home. But, I wondered, how would Klarissa take to us bringing a puppy home. Hyko, the male Golden we had brought home was six weeks old, Klarissa was about two. We set Hyko down and let Klarissa see him. She showed little interest in him at first, and needed to let me know she was not happy being left at home while we had gone and picked him up. Then she went to him, licked him and accepted her puppy. It was plain by her actions, she never thought of Hyko as Rhonda's puppy, I had brought him home for her. She now had a puppy to teach and take care of, and life was good. Of course, Hyko was no Klarissa, and had his very own unique personality. She nurtured him along, taught him to do the tricks she knew, and they became best friends. I never had to do much to teach Hyko, Rhonda did a great job; but Hyko learned the most by watching Klarissa, and she would make sure to show him just what was expected of him when a command was given. He became very close to Rhonda, and even closer to Klarissa. They were never apart from that first day, until she passed away in December of 2013. The term, Bugoo, came from Hyko. Klarissa was beautiful, graceful, and too damn smart for her own good. Hyko, well he was, and is, majestic in nature, with his golden red hair, long and fine as it is, his lion's mane in full splendor, and his very pose of pride and elegance. They shared so much, yet had so much difference in personality that it was down right funny. Klarissa could always outsmart him, and tricked him quite often. If he was getting attention and she wanted it, she would get his favorite toy and entertain herself with it right next to him. Of course, this was all it took and he would rush in and grab the toy and take it off and lie with it, so she could not get it back. She had no intention of getting it back, and as soon as he was off with the toy would move in and get all the loving and attention. If he had a toy and she wanted it, she would reverse the technician and come find some loving and attention. Soon enough Hyko would abandon the toy and push it to get some loving for himself, and Klarissa would have the toy. When this happened, I would borrow a phrase from a cartoon I used to watch, and tell him, "Oh Magoo, you did it again." This was fine, and Rhonda soon picked up on this as well. One day, when Hyko was buncoed once again by Klarissa, she told him, "Oh Bugoo, you did it again." I heard this, and even though it was an honest pronouncement, it was just too damn funny. I broke out laughing and Rhonda thought I had lost my marbles. I explained how she had said Bugoo instead of Mugoo, and we both cracked up laughing. Klarissa came to investigate this outburst, Hyko dropped his toy, and fluffed up his ears, and the two cocked their heads as they wondered what had gotten into us. When the laughter finally subsided, I looked at Hyko and called him Mr. Bugoo. He rolled his lip and did kind of an Elvis Presley imitation at me. That was all it took and he was Mr. Bugoo. Even Klarissa seemed to find this funny, and did some kind of a twirl and then nudged him, as if she was poking fun at his new name. So, I looked at her and asked her, "What's so funny, Mrs. Bugoo." She turned right back to facing me, cocked her head and looked. I repeated her new name, "Mrs. Bugoo." She pondered it a minute, then went and picked out a toy and had me toss it. But, she didn't go get it. I told her to get the goose, but nope, she just looked at me. So, I said it again, "Go get your goose, Mrs. Bugoo." The race was on. She tore after the toy, Hyko tore after her and they did some kind of funky dance as he tried to get the toy and she tried to avoid his reach. From that day on, we had a couple of Bugoos. Then, in December my wonderful friend passed away in her sleep, along side Rhonda and we found an emptiness that still remains. Of course, Hyko took it the hardest, he had never known a day without Klarissa since he was six weeks old and we brought him home. I was also devastated at her loss, and Rhonda thought it best if we looked at a new female to bring home, to provide me some comfort in my grief, but mostly to hopefully pull Hyko out of his depression. We didn't go out and buy a Golden, but went to the local shelter and adopted a female about two years old, who had never had a home outside the pound since the day she was brought in as a young puppy. She was smaller in build, black with some white markings, and a stubbed tail. We were told she was half black lab and half springer spaniel. We brought her home and began the process of teaching her what having a home was all about. I also did some research on her breeding to understand better what needs she would have. Online, I discovered the term for a Labrador and Springer mix is a Labradinger, and I learned how she would interact with us, how much energy she would have, and a lot of her natural traits. Only living that long in a dog pound, with no interactions of much with humans had left her a bit different than her breeding stated. Also, she had been adopted out a few times, but because of unwanted behavior, she had been returned the following day. This young female was full of energy, but had only once ever ran free outside, and that was when she slipped her leash at the pound. She had been called back, and had returned when called, so her freedom was short lived. We live in a small town, and have a big yard. But until she adjusted, we had to keep her tied and did not let her run free at first. She had a long run, and she went crazy with the freedom to run and jump, but nothing compared to the day I took a chance and released her and let her tear it up. She did, too. She ran, she jumped, she was all over and everywhere, but she didn't leave the yard and came when called. The next task was to teach her to play, she did not know how to play with Hyko or with us. She did not even know how to play with her toys. Some of Klarissa's old stuffed toys were shredded in minutes, others were put up so she couldn't destroy then all in one shot. But, in time she began to understand how to play with them, how to fetch, and catch, and how to interact with Hyko. Even so, he had little to do with her. He had gotten better, but was still grieving and just not accepting her as anything more than another dog in the house. Then, she went into heat, and Hyko began to have an interest. Luckily they did not breed and we do not have a bunch of little ones on the way, but they would have been very welcome and it would have taken no time to find them all a good home. Instead, they became closer, and then she stopped and they continued to share a friendship that has helped a lot. She did not take Klarissa's place, and she never will. That was not the idea anyway. She did bring a new personality into our home, she provided companionship for all of us, Hyko included, and his natural instinct to nurture has them now very close. Even so, Hannah, the Labradinger is no Bugoo. She is much different and adds a whole new perspective to what we have become accustom to. She is very snuggly and warm hearted, but she is a bundle of raw energy. She still runs and leaps, she is quick and springy, and almost a contrast to what a Bugoo is. No, Bugoo doesn't fit her at all, but someplace along the line, Labradinger and her being so springy merged into dinger, and then she was, Hannah, the Lady Dinger. So now, as we miss Klarissa and move on with life, we find we have Mr. Bugoo left to bless our home, and with him comes his friend, the Lady Dinger. Of course, we often just shorten the terms down to a Bugoo and a Dinger, and life is good. Yes, I still miss Klarissa, and wish I could have had a few more years to give back to her the love and companionship she so selfishly gave to us, but there is a bright side to her passing. Another wonderful animal with no hope and about to be destroyed found a home, filled with love and compassion. She still hides her face if I raise my voice, but she no longer trembles in fear of being torn away from our home and taken back to the pound if she does something bad. That will never happen, she is a part of our home and our family, and she is learning fast. She has brought love and companionship with her and seldom leaves my side when I'm home. I have bonded with her, and she with I, and along the way, I have been astounded to see so many of Klarissa's unique traits. Not at first, but with each passing day she seems to pick up more and more of the things Klarissa used to do. She does not have Klarissa's personality, but she share a great deal with her, even though they have never met. |
| It is just one of them days that starts out fine and goes completely our of whack before one's very eyes, and there is no getting things back into whack. It's almost eleven o'clock in the evening and I don't know where my day has gone. I had a great start to a nice day off, and things were moving right along in a most relaxing way. I had slept in, but not too late, then got up and enjoyed coffee with Rhonda, and some pleasant conversation. Then, it was getting on to lunch time, but not quite. We had opted to skip breakfast and just do a nice brunch. I cooked, and Rhonda got things set up so we could enjoy or leisurely meal. We ate, then fed the dogs, and took them out for a nice break and to go to the bathroom. When we came in it was time to get some things going, make a list for groceries and start planning out our day. I set down to see how much money would be left after the bills were paid, and Rhonda set out to assist me in figuring out when everything would come do. I use a calender program to keep track of all of this, and have much of them set up for automatic payments. So, it's must a matter of know what comes out when, and making sure there are funds in the account to cover them. Now, I need to add that we do not have a lot, and survive from paycheck to paycheck, but keep trying to get a little ahead in this game. We had everything figured in pretty good, set up a budget, and really gave it a good shot, but some of the utilities changed on us. For one, energy costs have gone up, and so has gasoline. So, we struggle and try to get by as best we can. We also set up payments to balance at the first of the month, and the middle of the month, since we get paid every two weeks. But, from the time we set things up, costs have changes, as I said, and so has the billing. Bills that used to be due from our second check now come due from the first, and some from the first are now due from the second. Others, and only two, thankfully, switched to every thirty days instead of once a month on the same day. It makes it difficult to budget when the larger bills now come out from the same check instead of one from one check and the other from the next, and with every thirty days, it's constantly changing instead of being due the same day every month. If we had a little extra, it wouldn't matter, but when you have to base how much food can be bought on how much money is left after things are paid, it's a real pain when there isn't any consistency. To try and get things back under some system of control, I wanted to fix the schedule and adjust things to fit a routine again. So, I had to remove everything from the calendar I use, and start over. So, I removed the entire program, since I could not find any means to change things without having the sync change the online calendars I link to. I ended up removing the program, and then reinstalling it to start fresh again. Only the application data was saved and when I reinstalled the program, all the old settings were also installed and I had gained nothing. About this time, I found my computer running slower and slower. I suspected a Windows update, since that is usually the problem, but sometimes it's my anti-virus or something different that using up all the computer resources and leaves me moving at a snails pace. So, by the time I did a search and found the application data, deleted it all, and then reinstalled the program, I was running very slow and it took forever to load, to set up the settings, and to accomplish what I had set out to do. While things updating, I turned on the netbook and did my updates online from that while my laptop shut down, and hopefully finished updating. I don't know if it's done yet, but I'm back on it and it's running normal again, so I assume everything is updated. But, by the time I finished what I set out to do, it was getting late into the afternoon, and I became a bit frustrated. Then, in figuring up what bills were due, it became clear that we were pretty broke and may have to juggle a few bills to get things paid; no getting caught up this payday, either. More frustration since I have increased my hours to attempt to get caught up again, but it's not working. Even as I put in more hours, more costs come up and more payments come due. It's like the more I work, the more I earn, the more I owe and the more places I have to send my money. No, actually it's like for every dime I earn, I pay out twelve cents. So if I earn a dime, I owe two cents more than I have. So I put in more hours and earn two dimes, now I have twenty cents, and should have eight cents left, but when the bills come in and it's all totaled up, I find I now owe twenty four cents, and I'm four cents shy of breaking even. So, I adjust a little here, and a little there, I shuffle some bills and get a little behind, but by the next payperiod, I have increased my hours and now make thirty cents. I should be six cents ahead once everything is said and done. But something comes up, or breaks, or we need to get this, or that, and once again I find that my thirty cents is not enough to cover the cost of living, which is now thirty six cents, and I'm further behind than I was before. Now, I also need to add, we do not go out to eat, we do not go out drinking or to clubs. We do not go out to a movie or anything like that. We skimp and skimp, in every direction we can, to try and make things go further. I cancelled my music account, I can't afford it, I'm going to stop Netflix DVD rentals, and if we still cannot get ahead a bit, all of the Netflix will have to go. Next is the online fax, but if I do not purchase this service I have to drive fifty miles round trip if something comes up and I have to send a fax. It was because of the cost to drive in to fax, that I joined up with online services. So, we are going through the bills and it comes up that there isn't really any money left for groceries if we pay everything. But we need to eat, so we will have to find a way to shuffle the bills so that we can spend fifty bucks or so and manage to get by until next payday. Of course, the shuffle will have a service charge and that will short us next payday, but what else can we do? But, even if we manage to come up with a little for groceries, I can't afford the extra gas to drive in, so it will have to wait until I go to work, then pick up a few items after work. Well this frustrates me even more, and it burns up my day, so that soon it's time for supper, but there's little to work with to make it, since we didn't go shopping, and that leads to more frustrations, and that leads to serious discussions on how we can try and get out of the rut we are in. Even as we discuss options, it's clear that we will not be doing much of anything this summer, other than work and strive to get our bills paid. At least, unless something changes a lot, there will be work, and skimp, pay bills, and try and get by. I don't know how, but what choice is there? This is the discussion as we look at the need to make repairs on both vehicles, I need tires on one, the house is in need of some repairs, and there are personal items we need. Now, on top of being short on funds, we find our day has passed, we couldn't do what we had intended, and now we are also running behind on time as well. Sometimes it feels so helpless, and useless to even push on. It's like being in quicksand, and the more a person fights to get out the faster one sinks. I really am running out of options, and there is little left to do except to start shutting things down. The internet relies on a phone line, so the two cost ninety bucks a month to keep, online services I use often for work cost twenty bucks a month, but without internet, they would not work. I have a membership in here, WDC, and one in Netfllix. Not needed, but really the only entertainment I indulge in. But without the internet, they will do me no good. So, I shut down the internet and land line, I'm now ninety five bucks ahead, but have to add to that the other services I kind of need, and kind of enjoy; lets estimate it to fifty dollars a month, and that's guessing on the high side. But, added all together, it's going to save me about one hundred and forty bucks a month. But, I have to run into town to do my faxes, and that's going to cost me in gas and mileage, as well as time. I won't be able to pay my bills online, so there's checks and postage, and more time. I also won't have the ability to do my reports and schedules online for work, unless I use the computer at some place I can connect to the internet. That's a trip into town, again. Also, the only place that I can connect with any peace and quiet is the library. Other than that, I can get limited connection at Target, I can get WiFi at HyVee, but they do not have anyplace I can sit except in the main traffic area, and then there's McDonalds, which again is anything but quiet. So, I have to spend money to connect, since the WiFi's are there for customers, but you have to purchase to stay. The Library, you say? Not here. I have to pay to have a card and access to the services. The residence of town get that service free, but I live in a different county, and we do not have a library, other than the school, and that is not open for public use of the internet. So, more trips into town, at fifty miles round trip, an hour of time driving plus the time I spend doing my work, and it's not looking like I'm really saving much at all. By the time you figure an amount in for time, mileage, and fees to use the service, I may actually pay more in the end. So, what then? How do I manage to get a little more out of each dollar? What can a person do to reverse the system, and get twelve cents in, but only a dime out? This is the problem right now, and has been for some time. There has to be a solution, and the only one I find is to take a second job. But, and this is the problem, I can't set aside any time for another job. I have to fill in if someone can't make it, and that happens quite often. So, if I took a second job and someone is sick, I have to miss work to fill the security guard position. I could ask Rhonda to take on more work, by having a second job, but again, I need someone I can depend on to pick up hours so I don't go into overtime, and she is the only person at work I can depend on. We are not permitted to work overtime, unless there is no other possible way, and even then, it's not good to go over forty hours, so I only create more problems if I don't make sure I can count on someone, myself included, to fill shifts without going into overtime. I suppose I could look for a higher paying job, but then I'm giving up a job I really like, and enjoy doing, and don't have any way of knowing if it will work or not, or if it will even last. Things are not very secure in the workforce, and I could take a different job only to find myself out of work in a month or two. Also, being new, if things slow, I'm the first to get cut, but with my current job, I've got the most time in, I'm the supervisor, and there is no chance of cutting a slot out, it's required to have the times filled. They either hire enough people and keep them on, or they provide overtime for less people to cover the required times. Again, no real solution, just more of the same, maybe even make things worse. So, what does a person do? Where do I turn to find the answers? |
| What a cold, wet, and windy day. On top of that, they are saying a possibility of snow on the way. The winter just doesn't want to end, and even though spring has arrived, it's like they are having a tug of war over who has control. Barely made it into the forties today, winds at 30+ miles per hour, gusts as high as forty-five miles per hour, and rain, light drizzle to torrential downpours. The only good thing was it was slow at work, so we didn't have to spend a lot of time out in the nasty stuff. Now, I should have the next two days off, but with snow coming in, that could change. I'm hoping it will not happen, and I will get the next two days off with Rhonda. It's going to be cold and wet, so not much we can do outside, but that never stops us from enjoying our time off together. I'm thinking some time playing games, and some time to maybe even write something other than just my journal. My brother wants to get out fishing in the boat, and has it ready to go, but with the weather forecast I seen last, it's not looking good. That's alright, I'm really not ready to go out in the boat anyway. It's just too early in the season, and I know it's going to be cold out on the lake. We will have plenty of nice days to spend out there when it's hot, and when the cool breeze blowing over the water will feel welcome and good. I also received an update from him in my email, about his graduation. It's on a Saturday, which is going to make it tough. I work eleven hours on Saturdays now, for the summer, and will have to have Rhonda come in a little early, as well as have someone else fill in for me while I'm there. I will have to see who's working that weekend, and maybe get someone to come in for me for a few hours. I don't want to take too much of the day off, or it will cut into my paycheck too much, unless I take a vacation day. It's coming up fast, too, so I won't have a lot of time to set things up. I'll work on the schedule tomorrow, and then I'll see what I can fine out about how long it's going to last and if someone can come in for part of the day for me. Back to today; I worked the opening shift, and would have stayed for double coverage if needed, but with the rain and cold, it was slower than a regular Monday. Rhonda was in at eleven and I stuck around a little while, but traffic did not pick up at all. So, after a half hour I took off and headed for home. I stopped and picked up a fuel filter for the van, in hopes that may help solve the problems we are having with it. I had hoped the vented fuel cap would have made a difference, but it didn't seem to. After I picked up the fuel filter I went over to The Liquor Store and picked up a bottle of brandy for Rhonda and I. The lady working told me, "Stay warm out there." I'm assuming she thought I was going to work, since I was in my uniform, but it made me smile. I mean, if I'm going to work as a security guard, why would I be picking up a bottle of brandy before work. I know, it doesn't mean I'm going to drink it on the job, but that's the first thought that passed through my mind. I lifted the brown bagged bottle and said, "This will help accomplish that." She laughed, then got kind of a puzzled look as it sunk home. I interjected an explanation before she had time to ask, telling her I just got off my shift and was heading home with two days off. That removed the puzzled look from her brow and put the smile back on her lips. She still seemed to be at a loss for words, however, and didn't reply with anything as I walked out the door. She's a nice lady, friendly and attractive, and usually is pretty talkative, but today the cat seemed ot have gotten her tongue. I drove home an alternate route since I was way across town, and came in on Mustang Avenue. There's a slew right off the road just a few miles down the road from the highway, and as I approached it, I seen a dozen or so pelicans in it, right up close to the road. There's a drop there, and it was offering them a break from the cold wind driven rain. As I got closer, I slowed some, knowing they would likely take off in flight as I got near them. I was right, as I came up on them, they all began lifting off the water, right over the hood of the Jimmy. I was moving slow enough I could stop if I had to, to prevent hitting any of them, but the wind gave them quick lift and they were all just high enough I could safely drive under them. The lower birds were maybe three or four feet above me, and flying into the strong wind had them almost at a hover as I slowly passed beneath them. They are so graceful, and beautiful, especially that close. This was the first time I have been this close to them, and it was a wonderful experience to see so many of them so close to me. Even as I passed under, some of them turned their head to observe me even as I was cranking my head up to see them. Of course, I had the most pleasant view. Well, that's a wrap on this entry, and now it's time to enjoy some desert, and then its off to bed. |
| Kind of late getting in here again tonight, I need to get back to the early entries, they go much better. I worked again today, but didn't have to stick around all afternoon. It was pretty quiet and slow, which was good considering it was non stop yesterday. Also, it was cold, wet, and windy out today. I mean windy as in almost blow a person over, windy. They came out of the east at about thirty five miles per hour, with gusts averaging in the fifties, and occasionally in the sixties. This made it feel even colder than it was. I think we hit fifty degrees today, but the winds made it feel like about twenty or so. I seen in the forecast more rain and wind for tomorrow, but not as severe as it was today. Of course that can change a lot by tomorrow. For example, yesterday I looked at the weather at about four in the morning before leaving for work. It was suppose to be a pretty nice day, with winds in the teens to around twenty. By the time I got to work, the wind was in the twenties and by six it was blowing at thirty miles per hour, with gusts into the forties. But, at least the sun came out for a while, and the temperature hit about sixty. From the forecast this afternoon, we may see snow by Tuesday if things stay as they are now. It's the same weather pattern we have had all winter, we get one or two nice days, but they are very windy, then the snow or rain hits and the temperatures plummet. Then, after about a week we get another day or two of nice weather, but the wind comes with it, then another round of cold and wet. The only difference now, is the sun has climbed farther into our hemisphere and is warming things up some, so even when the cold weather hits, we don't drop much below freezing anymore. Also, as soon as the clouds break up and the sun gets to shine, it's warm enough to melt off the snow quickly, and warm the air back up until the next round of arctic air moves into the area. Other than the weather, it was a nice enough day, slow at work, but that's a good thing when it's miserably outside like it was today. Then, on the way home I called my brother and had a nice chat with him. He had some car problems and had to switch out the gas cap again. It was running all right, but the engine light came on. Seems the cap leaks after a while and it messes up the emissions system. When he told me this, I thought of the problems we have with our van. We had the EGR replaced and it got better, but still gives us problems that get worse as the vehicle is driven. After Rhonda has her days off, the van runs great. Why? Well it sits for the two or three days since it isn't running good. If we need to go anyplace, we take my Jimmy and let the van sit. So, after her days off, it runs fine the first day she returns to work. The second day it gives just a little trouble, the third, it acts up a few times, and by the forth, it's a lot of problems. This has been the the only consistent thing we can find, it gets worse each day until it sits for a few days. So, today my brother mentions the gas cap causing his engine light to come on, and this gets me thinking, did our problems get worse after I changed over to a locking gas cap? They did. And, I recently learned that our vans fuel system is kind of odd, it has no regulator to control fuel pressure, and there is no return line to the gas tank. The vehicle computer tells a module in the back of the van how much fuel is required, and that module controls the fuel pump speed. As the vehicle needs more fuel, the pump runs faster, as it needs less, the pump slows down. There is a little bit more to it than just this, but it's the general idea. So, our system needs to vent as the pump pulls the fuel out of the tank and pushes it to the engine. Most other fuel systems have a return line and a regulator. The regulator holds the fuel at a constant pressure, and any extra fuel pumped is returned. These type systems need a sealed tank to work correctly, and if the fuel cap leaks or is loose, it will trigger the emissions light. But, our system is just the opposite, the system needs to vent or a vacuum will build in the tank and restrict fuel flow. That means the fuel cap must be vented to allow air into the tank. We had replaced the fuel filler cap with a locking cap, and that's when the problem started getting worse. So, tonight I looked at the old cap, and seen it is indeed vented, but it was gummed up and sticking. I got it to pop loose and then sprayed some lubricant into the venting system valve. It should work great now, and if that was the problem with the engine, it should run better tomorrow. I have my hopes up, but then again, it seems too easy and simple. But, just maybe, this will fix the problem. At least, I sure hope it does. |
| Here I am, getting in here plenty late tonight. Of course I expected as much, even though I have been doing pretty good at getting in here earlier. The last few days, anyway. Things get a bit out of the ordinary on the days that I work, and even though I've made a bit of progress with great effort at correcting this, some days are still going to be like this. See, I get up most workdays at three in the morning, so it kind of messes my day up a bit. It wouldn't so much if I was better at getting to sleep earlier, and I am improving a lot. Even so, I still tend to get to bed a bit too late. That means I get too tired, and don't function as well, especially late afternoon and in the evenings. But, I have been getting to bed earlier and doing better with not taking naps after work. With more sleep, I've been more functional and have been getting more done. Like getting my journal entry written sooner in the day, instead of at the last minute, like tonight. So, what happened then? Well, it's like this, I went in to work this morning like most days, and it started out much like any other day. Being a Saturday, the early morning was quiet, no freight in, nothing going out. After seven it did change a little, but still very slow, and only a local load going on delivery. Then, around nine, it started to get busier, by ten it was nuts and by eleven I was ready for a break. I had been on my feet steady for two hours and couldn't even get enough time to pour a cup of coffee. Rhonda came in at eleven, and started helping as soon as she got to the guardhouse. It stayed like that for the rest of the day, busy. It was also cooler today, and very windy. This made it feel cold, which only adds to the tiring effect of working that hard and steady, and the wind put up a steady blast of about thirty five miles per hour, with gusts reaching into at least the mid fifties. So, by the time I finished, I was beat. I had been working for eleven and a half hours with very little time to even sit down. Then, my shift was finally over, but Rhonda wanted me to stop and pick up some ice cream. Not a problem, so I head out, and on my way home, stop and shop at HyVee. Only, I'm hungry, so I end up picking up a few other items, like pizza and chips. So, I'm finally on my way home, fifty bucks lighter, and a few bags of groceries heavier. Once I get home, I need to let the dogs out, and of course they have been missing me, so they are not interested in anything other than me. But, finally I get them to go out into the yard, and hopefully take care of business. Then, after about fifteen minutes of walking around the yard with them, they are ready to go in. I grab my stuff and the food, then head in. In short order I have stuff organized and put away. Then, I get a call, Rhonda is on her way home. I hustle and get stuff put away, then start some paperwork for my job until Rhonda gets home. She worked on supper, or dinner, what ever you call it, I spent some time writing my e-report and sending it. By this time the food is smelling good, and I'm ravished. We have frozen pizza with some added toppings, and to compliment the meal, potato chips and dip. By the time I finish my report, it's time to eat. We have a movie that came in from Netflix, so we decided to watch it while we eat our pizza. Then, it's a matter of getting a couple of tv trays set up, so we can enjoy dinner with the movie. Soon enough the food is done, the trays are in place, and we have hot pizza for lunch. After, we rested while we watched more of the movie, then it was prepare for sleep. But first, I need to stop in here and get my entry done, and posted. So, here I am, writing my entry and so tired I am having trouble even staying a wake. So, if you read this and it kind of jumps all over, as well as not making much sense, you know it's a result of being half asleep as I type. In fact, I'm about to start dozing off right here, so time to go. |
| I'm in here kind of early again tonight, it's only five thirty here. It's a good thing I did come in here this early, too, since I'm already dead tired. My first day back to work is usually like that. I get to sleep in for a few days then have to get up before time and this is the result. Not so much the getting up so early, but being up kind of late last night. Of course, ten is late when the alarm goes off at three in the morning. It was a nice day, and everyone said it was seventy degrees this afternoon, but it didn't feel quite that warm to me. The wind was blowing some, and maybe that was the reason it felt cooler. Even so, lots of sunshine, and the wind wasn't blowing very hard. It was wet this morning from rain last night, but none today. Tonight and tomorrow we will more wind, but no rain until tomorrow night, or at least the last time I checked. After work, I stopped and talked to the local mechanic about the van. He didn't sound very sure of the fuel filter problem, but said it may cause the problems we are having. He did say it was a cheap fix, and wouldn't hurt anything. It's probably past time to change it anyway. So, I'll pick up a filter and either change it myself, or more than likely have him change it Monday. It just depends on what the weather will be like. It seems like we have rain and wind on my days off, so it's kind of difficult to work on the vehicles for me. We don't have a garage I can put them in, and the driveway was filled in with rock, so it's hard to sit, kneel, and lie on, and if something falls, it's likely lost for ever. I had me a little pause there, Rhonda called, she's on her way home form work, so I need to get this done and posted, then get ready to spend a little time with her before bed. I resisted taking a nap today after I got home, and did some work instead. My job requires me to do some of my work from home, since we cannot have electronics while working. I still need to send the weekly report, but finished up just about everything else. I do need to make some copies, but I'll do that after work tomorrow, from the stores copier. We don't work for the store itself, but provide security service to them. Even so, they let me use their copier to run off stuff for work, which saves me a lot of paper and ink. On a non related topic, the grass sure did turn green fast after we had some rain. Of course it's growing fast, too, and I'll have to get some mowing done on my next day off. I may get a chance to mow on Sunday or Monday, time wise, but it's suppose to rain on Sunday and Monday, so no mowing until my day off Tuesday. If, by chance, I'm home before the rain I will mow what I can, but I expect it to be busy tomorrow and Sunday. I expected it to be busy today, too. But it was pretty slow for a Friday, and especially with the nice weather. We have been a bit busier on Fridays and weekends, but maybe things have mellowed a bit. I know part of the reason we were so busy the last few weekends was the fact that we had a long and cold winter. People just want to get out and get something done. Maybe now that we have been having some nice weather, they have settled down a bit. I also think a lot of them went out fishing since the lakes are open now. Here, in South Dakota, they don't have a spring opening to fishing. We get to fish all year long, and only a few areas are closed in the spring, like streams and rivers. Other than that, if the lakes open, you can fish. I don't fully agree with this, since the fish are in spawn yet, and they are easy to catch while sitting on their beds and spawning. I also believe they should be protected until they have finished the spawn, so they can repopulate the lakes. The state says it doesn't hurt the fish population to take them in the spring however. Of course, they have a few fisheries to raise game fish and restock the lakes, so it must have an impact. It is my opinion that it's not a matter of what's best for the fish, or the lakes, but what's best for the local economy. South Dakota is a farming state, and the only other source of revenue is tourists and sportsman from other states. They don't practice conservation, but instead practice economics by having spring hunts and no closed fishing season. It does bring a lot of people into the area and I suppose that's good for business, but if they have to restock the lakes I would think the benefits would be diminished by the cost of breeding and stocking fish all over the state. Maybe I'm wrong, and then again, maybe not. I know most other states practice much firmer conservation practices. Time will tell, it always does. |
| Getting in here a little earlier today, and it feels good. It's my last day off this week, and it's likely I will be working some long hours for the next two or three days. I wanted to get a lot more accomplished before returning to work, but it just didn't work out that way. Even so, I did have a nice three days off, and I did get a lot of rest and relaxation in. What I didn't get is much time to write. That's been the problem for some time now, not much time to write, and when I do have time, I'm so tired I can't think straight, let alone type anything coherent. Another problem, that is related, is time in WDC. I just don't get much time to do anything in here, even though I would love to spend a few hours a day just reading and reviewing. I'm just now going through my last two weeks of newsletters, and trying to get caught up a bit with them. I was surprised to see I had an item in one of the newsletters. It's a pleasant surprise, for sure. The item was my journal, and it was included in the " For Authors: Capture Inspiration" newsletter. The article had to do with writing everyday, something I try to do, and why I started this journal. I have done a very good job, but have missed a day here and there. More often than missed, I'm late. See, here in South Dakota, it's an hour earlier than in WDC, so I may have the item written, but not posted before midnight WDC time. Even when it's close to the mark, I find I don't get it posted until later than midnight sometimes as a result of writing in 750 words, and then copying the item and pasting it in my journal. The reason I write here, is because it takes a bit of effort to write seven hundred and fifty words, as well as some thought about what to write. My journal, on the other hand, requires no minimum number of words, and I could easily just ramble on a few minutes about nothing and still have an entry. That would be fine for the entry, but not for me wanting to write everyday. Even though I have little time to write, by doing seven hundred and fifty words, I am at least keeping my writing up to a small degree. It's not very creative by any means, since I tend to write about what's going on or even venting, but it's still writing. Also, it proves to me that I can make myself write, even under pressure, out of time, and when I have very little for creative energy flowing. But, after seeing my journal listed in the newsletter as a recommended read, I decided I need to put more into my daily entries than just venting and going on with my normal problems. I will to some degree still write about these things, but I want to put more into the journal than just a recap of what took place. What I mean is, I want to put more thought into the items I enter, more opinions, and even more feelings. If I need to vent, sure it's a good place to let out some built up pressure. If there are things taking place that I don't like, it's a good place to put them down, as well. But, along with this, it's a good place to think and find solutions. It's a good place to work out problems and find solutions that may just provide me with a little more time to write, to read, and to do a few reviews. It may also provide a good idea to follow up with a story, or poem. If nothing else, it will help to clear the junk out and maybe let a little creative energy flow. Now, it's time to move on to fixing some dinner, Rhonda will be calling from work and on her way home very soon. Then, I need to spend some time with her, get myself ready for returning to work, and then get myself to bed earlier than I usually do. I also told her I would dye her hair tonight, and I would like to take some time to just soak in a hot bathtub. I work for the next four days, then have a couple off. But, I have some work to do from home as well, so along with some extended hours over the next few days, there's some scheduling and reports to send off. Not much time for anything else, as you can see, but we will do what we can. I purchased a netbook for this reason, so I can bring it along in to work and maybe get some time on it. I can't use it at work, but after, I should be able to. That is, once the hours extend to the full eleven and twelve hour shifts. For now, it's hit and miss, but I am still going to do my best to get a little more time in here. |
| Two days of my three days off used up, they sure go by fast. But, I got a good start on the yard yesterday, then today we had a little rain with a lot of wind, so no yard work at all today. I had planned on getting it finished, but just too wet, then too windy. Not that I mind, it was a great day; a lazy, rainy day. We did haul the garbage and did a bit of house work together, but other than that, it's been just a "take-it-easy" kind of day. Right now, it's time to get this written, then eat dinner and enjoy a quiet evening together. We also made dinner together, and it's smelling very good. We have a nice beef roast cooking in the dutch oven with potatoes, celery, carrots, and onions. I took some of the juice from the roast and added in a few ingredients to make a very rich beef sauce, and once it's all cooked, I'll add a bit of the finished juices in, then thicken it up and enjoy a wonderful dinner with my wonderful wife. I know it's a pot roast, but instead of putting it all together right away, we precooked the roast about three fourths done, then took most of the juices from the seasoned roast, but not all. Next we added the potatoes and vegetables, a little more water, and put it all back in the oven to slow roast. That's why I said I took some of the juice and will add some of the finished juice. The first batch I took was just seasoned, roasted beef, the second batch will have the vegetables and potatoes cooked in with the beef, to add that final pot roast flavor, but not as strong as if we just took the final juices. Then, after dinner, we will enjoy some quiet time watching a series on Netflix, and then it's off to bed a little earlier. I don't have to work tomorrow, but Rhonda does. Of course, she doesn't have to be there until eleven, but we still like to get up a little earlier so we can enjoy the morning together before she has to get ready for work. I'm not sure what I will work on tomorrow, it depends on what the weather does, and what I feel like doing. If it's nice, I may look at the van and see what I can do with it, or I may work on the lawn a bit. I may even get to both if it's nice enough, since the yard won't take real long to finish up, and I likely won't actually work on the van, just look to see if I can, and what I need to have on hand. Friday it's back to work for me, and it's likely going to be a long day. If it's busy I may be working twelve hours, but I'm thinking it will be slow enough to get me done around noon, maybe one. Then Saturday will be a long day for sure, and I will have another eleven hours in. Sunday should be slower again, and I should be out of there by early afternoon. Monday is again a possibility of a twelve hour day, but I doubt it will go much past noon again. It's just so difficult to say, though. Weather has a lot to do with how busy we get, but with this long and brutal winter finally over, more people seem to be eager to start outside projects even though it's not real nice out yet. If this weekend does prove to be busier than anticipated, I may have to redo the schedule to bring in another guard sooner. Right now, I'm planning on bringing him in on the next schedule, but I have discussed the possibility of needing him to fill in sooner. He wants hours, so I don't see it as a problem, and since he lives close, even if he doesn't have to stay for the whole shift, it's not costing him much to come in and then go home after an hour or two. It should work nice, and give him more hours, as he wants, while I can pick up a few more myself for the summer, and -- this is the best part -- get three days off every week. They will be Tuesday through Thursday, but I don't mind. In fact, since most people are out and about on the weekends, I kind of like having my mid-week break. It's quieter, less crowded, and for me and Rhonda, more enjoyable. Sure, we miss some things on the weekends, but it's a trade off we happily make. Now, the timer has gone off, it's time for us to enjoy that scrumptious smelling dinner. |
| Here's a start, just under the wire to get this entered on today's date. It's eight minutes to eleven my time but counting down quickly to midnight at WdC. I usually don't write my entry here, but instead write in 750 Words and copy it here. It's my way of keeping my journal updated, while being held to at least 750 words and keeping my entries in that site as well. Tonight I will also write there, but only after this introduction to get my entry date set, which I have done. Be back with the rest in a flash. I already started my journal entry in WdC so I could have it entered under today's date, and all of that is explained in the introduction I wrote there. So, on to my day, I reckon. Today was my first day off this week, and a nice day. I didn't know if I would have a guard out today or not, since one missed yesterday do to illness. But, no calls today, so he must have been feeling better and made it in. Of course, it may have been illness, or not having a car to drive in, or a bit of both. I want to believe the reason was illness as he said, and have no grounds to question it. I only mention it because he himself stated to me that his family is now down to one vehicle after the other had a breakdown. He also had a vehicle but it also had problems that were not repairable. He had informed me that he was using his dad's vehicle, and if his dad needed it to haul anything, he could be unable to get to work. Now, that's the vehicle that suffered damage and left him dependent on the families only vehicle. I don't know what arrangements have been made, who needs to use the vehicle other than this person, or anything, but can see a very likely chance for conflict over who needs the vehicle for what. For instance, if either of his parents needs to use the vehicle, and he can't, he would not have a way to get to work, and would have to call in and either inform me that he does not have the use of the family car, or use another excuse to cover this. And, if he's unsure if he would be excused for missing work because of no transportation, he would be motivated to use an excusable reason for missing, like illness. It's a tough spot for him to be in, but since he is back to work today, and I don't have any reason to question if he was ill or not, it just get's passed off as him being sick, missing a day, and now he's back. Unless this becomes a repeated problem and he starts missing more work, I really don't want to know for sure. I would rather just accept the reason as being sick and not having to take any action anyway. He's a good kid, and does his job pretty well, wants to keep on working and is trying to get himself some transportation of his own, or so he has informed me. So, unless this gets to be a problem, I won't question it and give him time to do what he needs to do. But, with our double coverage hours starting, we are going to be tight on covering for anyone who misses too much. So, if he continues to miss work for what ever reason, I may have to hire another person and that means some of us will lose out on hours. Not just the person I mentioned, but I would also lose a few hours and so would my wife. That's how it works out to get another person trained and provide them with enough hours to keep them interested in the position without taking so many from the person I was talking of, that he is forced out the door. Again, this is a possibility, but one I will not pursue unless he begins to miss on a regular basis and creates the need to have another person trained in and working to cover the hours he misses. For now, things are working and we have it all covered. I have my two days off, and unless something comes up tomorrow, I don't see that changing. I enjoyed the day, had a nice chat with my brother on the phone, and Rhonda talked to her mom. There was still plenty of time to do some yard work and still have a relaxing day. Even some family problems that came up did not dampen our moods or mess up or enjoying this wonderful day. The family problems are serious, but there really isn't anything we can do about it and even if we could, I'm not sure what we could do except let those who messed up face the results of their choices, and hope they get the message loud and clear they need to make some serious changes. But, they did not even let us know what is going on, and we ended up hearing about it in a round about way, again. This same problem came up once before and we were not informed at first, then told lies about what was taking place, and now after things finally worked out, they do the same thing again, only worse. As hard as it is, sometimes it's best to just step back and let children take the full force of their bad choices. It's the only way they can learn and make better choices. I hope this is the case now, and it will work out for good in the end. I don't know enough of the facts or what's going on to write about it now, but in time more will come to light and we will eventually hear enough of the facts to know what was going on. Then, after truth is found, lies set aside, perhaps I will write about it here and try and sort it all out. |
| Monday night, but my Friday night. How's that? Because I get the next few days off. Three this week, unless something unforeseen comes up. I have one person out sick, so it could mess things up, but I'm hoping not. I'm going to think positive and plan on having the next two days off with Rhonda, then one more after she returns to work. See, we each get one three day break, opposite weeks from the other, so this is my three day break, last week was her's. It was a pretty nice day, and kind of busy at work this morning, but it slowed a lot by the time Rhonda came in. I stuck around a bit just in case yard traffic picked back up, but it seemed to be a slow day from about noon on. The temperature was almost sixty degrees this morning, but it didn't warm up much at all, only about five degrees higher. Even so, it was nice, sunny, and comfortable up to about nine, then teh wind picked up. It blew pretty hard, with gusts around fifty miles per hour. It switched around to the north and then north-west, so it was a cold wind, but not enough to drop the temperatures. It settled down this evening and it's pretty nice again now, but cooler. Right now it's forty three degrees and dropping. I haven't looked to see how much it will drop tonight or what the weather forecast is for the next few days. It doesn't matter, anyway, it changes a couple of times a day it seems. I'll check and see what the forecast is in the morning, that should be the closest. Well, unless it changes again after that. Hopefully it will be nice enough to get some yard work done, the grass is turning green and we have a lot of winter cleanup to do before it gets time to mow. I would also like to take the dogs for a walk, but not just around here. I'm thinking of packing up a day-pack and going to the park or something, and walking some trails. We will see how it goes getting the yard cleaned up, and how much time we have, as well as how much good weather. Speaking of weather, I seen something interesting this morning on my way to work. I was heading east at around for thirty and off in the distance I seen lightning flashing. It was clear here, with a bright moon, but to the east I could see by the flashes, there was heavy cloud cover. What made this different than seeing lightning in the distance any other time was the color. I don't know if it was just the clouds, or if the dry air had something to do with it, or what. But, the lighting wasn't just yellow and white flashes. This morning they were red; deep multiple shades of red, ranging from pinks to crimson and violet. Like a colorful sunrise in the east, but in this case, flashing at different points along the distant horizon. It was very pretty, and I wish I could have shared it with Rhonda. But, I was going in to work, and she was going back to bed for a few more hours before getting up to come in and relieve me. Hopefully we will get to share another colorful lightning display like this in the future. It may not be so rare, but it's the first time I have seen red lightning. I could research it, and possibly will, but for now, I just savor the mental image it left and just wish I would have had more time to enjoy the show before turning north and finishing my drive in to work. Now, it's ten at night, past my normal bedtime, but early for a night without work the next day. Even so, I'm tired and looking forward to getting to bed, and then having an early start to my time off. This is a change for me, since I tend to stay up late even when I have to work the next morning. My internal clock must finally be changing over. It's been a long haul, and it feels good to know that I can adjust my time schedule and adapt to working early and getting to bed early. The next thing you know, I'll be enjoying more usable time and getting more done in my day. Hell, I may even find time to write again, and wouldn't that be sweet. |
| Just getting started in here and I should be in bed asleep already. Oh well, Sundays kind of get our of sync a bit because I don't get up as early for work, so I tend not to be as tired Sunday evenings. Tomorrow it's back to the early alarm, but only for one day, then I have the next three off. I'm ready for it, too. It's been a long three days. Of course, I really got messed up last week when I was suppose to be off Tuesday and Wednesday, but had to work Wednesday do to a bad winter storm. I got Thursday off instead, but the switch really messed me up for some reason. I don't know why, I have done these fill ins quite often through the winter, and from the start at this job, for that matter. So, working Wednesday shouldn't have knocked me so far out of whack, but it did. Perhaps it was more the lack of sleep that messed me up so much. I only managed about two hours before I had to get back up for work on Wednesday. Again, I don't know why I couldn't sleep, but I'm guessing it was because I had kind of slept in on Tuesday morning, then could not get to sleep that night. I know eating late was another factor, and the meal was pretty heavy and late. Put them all together and the fact that time kept slipping past faster than it should have, and it made for a late night getting to bed, and then not much sleep once I was in bed. I did manage to get back into my routine pretty well, being so tired Wednesday and then even with Thursday off, I still was in bed pretty early that night, and again Friday night. I was up a little later last night, but I think I got to bed around ten, so not too late, and then I didn't get up until six this morning so I had a pretty good night sleep, and I slept sound, too. What messed me up this weekend is the double coverage and the increase in traffic for us. I worked eleven and a half hours Saturday, then did a little grocery shopping and came home. I also worked a couple extra hours on Friday, and I'm not used to the longer hours yet. Also, yard traffic has been pretty slow all winter, especially early in the mornings, on my shift. But that's all changing now, with the nice weather. So longer days and a lot busier. That's got my legs fatigued and my back tight. I had another long day today, with two extra hours, but they were not as busy as yesterday. Tomorrow may be a little longer, too, but it depends on the weather and how heavy the yard traffic is at shift change. I anticipate it to be pretty slow, just a typical Monday. Another two weeks to a month and Monday will be a pretty busy day, but not yet. At least if last year was any indication it won't be busy on Mondays for another two to three weeks. But, then Sundays are a pretty slow day, too. Easter last year was pretty quiet, with very little yard traffic, but it was enough today to keep me on for an extra two hours. Part of that was the circus was in town today, and a lot of people had come from all over to attend. So before and after, they picked up items while in town. Of course, some of them could have gone to their local store instead of the one here, but I still have not figured that one out. What I mean is, we have a lot of people come from far away to shop here, when there are the same stores closer, sometimes in the same town. For example, there are two stores in Sioux Falls, the same store, just different location and of course, bigger. One is a little bigger than the one here, the other is a super store, and is a lot bigger. Yet, we will have people from the Sioux Falls area come up here and shop instead of just going to one of the two stores there. And, it's not just Sioux Falls, they come in from Minnesota and from all over the state, even though they often have to drive past closer stores on the trek over here. I know, there has to be some reason. It just isn't clear to me. Not that it matters, and what ever frosts their cookies, right. |
| It's Easter Eve, and it's getting late. Luckily, I don't have to be up at three in the morning again. Easter or not, it's a work day for me, and the only reason I don't have to be up at three is because Sundays are a late day, so I don't have to be at work until a quarter to eight. It was a very nice day, not too windy, quite a lot of sun, and warm out. There was enough of a breeze to make it feel cool if you were exposed to it in the shade, but other than that, very nice. A typical spring day, or at least what a typical spring day should be. It's been so long since we have hod a typical spring day that it's difficult to remember. They are sure a rare comity this year. So, it was great being able to enjoy it, even if it was from work. I had to open at five and then worked with Rhonda from eleven this morning when she came in until four thirty this afternoon when the evening guard showed up. Yep, eleven and a half hours at work, then I stopped up front and sent a fax, went around back and picked up my gear, then headed over to the store to pick up a few groceries before heading home. I arrived at the house at six o'clock, fourteen hours after I left this morning. Now, that's a long day. Tomorrow could be another long day, if it gets busy, but I doubt it will. If last year was any indication of what work will be like tomorrow, Easter Sunday, it should be very slow all day. At least it was last year. That's alright, I can handle a slow day, and getting out of there early. Other than being tired, it was a good day. I did get a fair amount of sleep last night, and I slept very hard and deep. In fact when the alarm went off this morning, I couldn't get it to shut off. I was trying to touch the app and get it to open so I could shut the alarm down, but it wouldn't stay in the foreground long enough. See, my alarm is a program on my netbook, and I have to touch the shut off on the screen to turn the alarm off. Normally, this set up works great. I can program alarms for each day, specific to the day. I can repeat them on set days, and have multiple alarms set at the same time. Like I said, this app works great, and it's a wonderful alarm. But this morning I could not wake up. I heard the alarm start, very quiet and low, and it continued to get louder and louder, as I fought with the computer to try and turn it off. Only the app kept going to the background, so when I would touch the screen to hit the stop alarm button, it would be gone already. Of course, in time Rhonda nudged me with her foot, which was enough to wake me out of my dreams, once awake instead of stuck in a dream, I was able to reach over and touch the red stop alarm button on my netbook. That's right, I was dreaming I was awake and needed to shut the alarm off; it was only in my dreams that I was having so much trouble, and once awake, it worked like a charm. It's kind of funny, or at least I think so. Dreaming that I'm trying to shut off the alarm, but the alarm is actually sounding and needs to be turned off. It's also a good thing that we have a second alarm set. I mean, it would have been terrible had I actually shut down the alarm in my sleep. But, with the secondary alarm, even if I did shut down, we would have another go off in plenty of time for me to get up, get ready, and get to work. I messed up once, as did Rhonda, and that was enough to indicate that we need the back up alarm set and ready just in case. As long as we have it, it will not be needed, but if I didn't keep it up, I would over sleep for sure. So, the primary is the netbook app, the secondary is the regular alarm clock, and then there's Hannah. She's not very reliable as far as time goes, but she does a great job of waking Rhonda up in the mornings. The only problem is, she doesn't do it at a steady time. maybe one day, but for now, I'll keep two alarms set and double my chances of waking up on time. |
| Not quite so late tonight, but it could just as well be after midnight as far as how tired I am. I got about two hours of sleep last night before getting up at three thirty for work. I say about, because it was two hours from the time I got in bed till the time I got up, but the alarm went off the first time at three, then again at three fifteen, and then at three thirty Rhonda helped me drag my sorry butt out of the bed. On top of that, I didn't sleep well, had trouble falling asleep, and was up twice during my very brief night. Then, it ended up being a very busy day, even though it was pretty cold, very windy, and cloudy for most of it. Tomorrow will be even busier, I'm sure, but if all works right, I should be in bed here shortly, sleeping shortly after that, and hopefully not up at all, until the alarm goes off in the morning. I work at five again, but may not get done until four tomorrow afternoon, if it stays busy all day. Sunday, Easter that is, I get to sleep later and don't have to be up until five thirty. But Easter or not, for us it's work as normal. If last year was any indication, however, it will be a very slow day at work, and I should get to come home by noon. I did take a nap this afternoon, after I got home. But, I ate lunch first and then did my weekly report, so I ended up only taking about an hour nap. It was enough to take the edge off, and with a good night sleep tonight, I should be pretty good tomorrow. Then, after tomorrow, it should slow down some and be pretty quiet and slow for Sunday and Monday, then Tuesday I'm off for a few days. Not to bad, just getting through this week has been kind of difficult. See, I was set to be off Tuesday and Wednesday, but we had a winter storm move in on Wednesday and I had to work for another guy who couldn't make it in to work. So, I got kind of out of synch working on the day I should be off. I did have another guard fill in for me on Thursday, so I still got two days off, but not in a row. It helped, but the whole day yesterday was kind of out of synch as well. Or maybe I was out of synch with it, I'm not sure. Either way, it wasn't a very productive day and just seemed to slip away faster than I could take advantage of the time off. I'm sure that's part of what went wrong last night, too. Just out of synch with everything, and up too late. It was like I was running three hours behind. My internal clock was saying six and dinner time, but in fact it was nine and likely much too late to eat that heavy of a dinner. But I was hungry, and since the food was done, I ate late. Then it was sit up and let it digest a bit. Of course, I was thinking about ten thirty when it was in fact twelve thirty, and with so much food in my system, of course I wasn't going to sleep well. Crazy, but that's the way it just ends up going sometimes. Today was much better time wise, but since I was working, it would have been kind of nice to be thinking its about noon, when in fact it's three in the afternoon all ready and I can go home. Of course, it never works that way. The only days that time moves that quickly are the days off, and times after work. Then, on work days it moves twice as slow to counter balance the effect. In the end, one week passes in just exactly one weeks time. For that matter, one day passes in twenty four hours, just as it should. The only difference is, the six hours I spend working takes twelve hours, and the time I spend at home ends up only four hours, and the eight hours I spend sleeping only comes out to two our three, and the rest just vanishes, until the next day when my work day finds the missing hours and tacks them on to the work day, again. It's probably done at a minute level, too. For example, work hours are composed of one hundred and eighty minutes, while off work/at home hours are composed of fifteen minutes. Sleep hours also end up short sheeted, but in the end, it balances out. That's why my time goes past so fast off of work, but goes by so slow at work, to make the balance. |
| I had intended to do this earlier this afternoon, but then time kind of slipped away from me. It's amazing how fast it can, too. Part of the problem is having two days off this week, and then having to work the second day, so it messed up the whole general plan. I did manage to get my second day off, but with a day of work in the middle of it, and that had me all discombobulated, too. So I got up early enough, but then it seemed like every time I looked at the clock and started something, I was running a little late. Then I would look up thinking it was just a small amount of time later, to find a large portion of time had passed. For example, I needed to check some financial information out at the bank. I had logged in around six this afternoon, thinking it's only going to take a few minutes to check and see when the payments went out, set up the next payment, and then log out. After, I went and started preparing some chicken for dinner. Rhonda was working on some laundry, and said she would assist me as soon as she finished up with the clean cloths in the bedroom. I got out the items I needed, peeled an onion, some garlic, and started chopping, slicing, and getting the meat portion of our dinner ready. By the time I had everything ready, Rhonda was there and she started the rice and then washed up some vegetables for dinner. I had the chicken cooking, and a good start on some vegetables for the next part of the meal. With the meat portion now set aside, I began stir frying the vegetables that would need longer then added the softer vegetables, like onion and zucchini. Soon all the vegetables were ready and I added some stock and thickener. As soon as the stir-fry was thickened, the chicken went in and I held the heat just long enough for it all to reach a steamy hot temperature, then took it off the burner. The rice was ready, the egg rolls were done -- frozen and heated in the oven, and the other side was now ready as well. I looked up at the clock and was mildly shocked to see it was a couple of minutes after nine. What happened? It was six, I logged in and spent maybe fifteen minutes checking the information. I logged out and then logged in to make a payment and then logged back off. I went to the kitchen and started dinner, at what should have been about six thirty. Instead, it had to have been around eight. Twenty minutes on the rice, as well as twenty minutes for the egg rolls in the oven. We had a timer set, so it was twenty minutes from the time we started the rice and egg rolls. Now, I had the chicken about done when Rhonda started the rice. If I started preparing the dish at six thirty, it should have been seven or quarter past when Rhonda started the rice. Lets give the benefiet of the doubt to time, and say it was seven thirty, an hour later, by the time the meat dish was done and Rhonda started the rice. Twenty minutes on the timer and the rice is down about ten minutes to eight. We only took a few minutes once the rice was done, to set up the rest. The egg rolls came out, the rice was done and the stir fry was finished. We dished up our food and ate right away, after the rice was done. Everything completed at the same time, and even if we were slow in setting the food out and dishing up our plates, we would have ten minutes to eight when the rice was done, and if we went slow from then on, we still would have been eating our food by eight, or things would have not been so hot. But, before we even dished up our plates, when we had the food out and set up, ready to dish up our plates I looked at the clock and it was a couple minutes past nine. What happened to an hour and a half? It was just gone. And, it has gone that way all day long, since I got up this morning. I woke before the alarm went off. Rhonda came in and worked a calf muscle for a few minutes, because it was sore after a bad cramp during the night. So, I should have been about a half hour later getting up. But, it didn't work that way. The alarm went off while she was working the sore muscles, so I know time had not slipped at that point, it was about a half hour since I had woke up till the alarm went off, as it should have been. We snuggled for a few minutes after she rubbed my leg, then got up. She had her coffee on my dresser, and I took a drink. It was fairly hot yet, but not to the point I had to sip it. I took a big swallow of her coffee, and she teased me about having my own by my chair, waiting. Then she went for my robe, and I took another drink of her coffee, still hot. Then, when she turned, with my robe in had, held it for me while I slipped into it, and then I went to my chair and sat while she got herself another cup of coffee. I lifted my cup and sipped. Only it was not hot, it was actually kind of cool. I then looked at the clock, and the half hour we used up in the bedroom had now become just over an hour later. How? It did not take us more than a couple of minutes to snuggle before I got up, it was no more than a couple of minutes while Rhonda got my robe for me and I took a couple drinks of her still hot coffee, then came out to the living room and my chair where it was now about twenty or twenty five minutes later. It really doesn't make any sense how time slips away like that. |
| Wow, I can't believe how beat I am. I was scheduled for yesterday and today off, but we had a storm move in, and no one knew for sure when it would hit, or how bad. So, the person who was scheduled to open called me yesterday afternoon to let me know he would not be going in, do to the storm. I got up at three this morning and drove in around four. It was cold, but mostly because of the wind. The temperature itself was about thirty five, but the wind was blowing at about forty mph and gusting to around sixty. Other that this, it was dry and I had no trouble driving in. I wasn't feeling very good, but that was the only trouble I had. Around eight, a few flakes began to fall, and by nine it was snowing pretty hard. Still, not bad, and nothing like had been predicted. By ten thirty, it was useless to shovel the slab off, it filled in as fast as I cleaned it off. By the time I made my drive home, it was icy and slick, with visibility down to about a block or less. But, I made it home and didn't have much for problems. It was very slick, but I was driving slow enough not to have any trouble with the Jimmy, although I did witness a number of other vehicles having problems. For example, the garbage truck came up behind me as I made my final turn towards home. I was creeping along and made the turn fine, but could feel the tires slipping ever so slightly. Meanwhile, the garbage truck was gaining on me quite rapidly. Well he was until he made the turn, but even as he turned, the truck didn't. He went right on into the ditch. Luckily it wasn't a steep ditch and he must have not gotten stuck, since he was out in short order. Even so, he had not learned and was soon coming up behind me again. By now, I had reached a road that leads into another small town. The highway here was covered in about four to six inches of wet, sticky snow, on top of ice. I felt it pulling me all over the road, and even thought I may need to use four wheel drive to get through, but slow and steady did the trick, and I soon had myself back under full control and plowing through the mess. As I looked up, I seen the garbage truck was now almost on my backside. Then, I thought he slowed and started to turn toward the other town. I looked up again to see he had indeed left the highway, but his headlights were still facing me. Then another gust of wind and he was out of site. A little while later, here he comes again, only now with only one headlight shining through the snow. He must have slid off the road when he hit the deep, wet, sticky snow, and hit something to put out a headlight. I'm guessing it was the sign for the town I mentioned. You would think, after going off the road twice, you would begin to understand the need to slow down. Nope, not this guy. He was soon coming up behind me again. About the time he was within one hundred feet of my tail, I hit a patch of very dense blowing snow. The road wasn't any worse here than anyplace else, but visibility was ten feet or less. I could not see him at all, and was a bit concerned that if he continued at his last speed, he would soon be right up on me, and with the slick ice, unable to slow by the time he could make out my lights through the dense blowing snow. But my concern was unwarranted, he never gained on me. In fact, when I got close to home, the wind let up a bit and visibility cleared to about a quarter mile or better, and there was no one behind me. I had slowed even more as I was driving near blind, but the garbage truck never gained, and had in fact vanished from sight. The ground rises a little as I get home, and I could see quite a ways back, but there was no sign of any headlights or the flashing yellow light on top of the cab. I can only assume he went off the road yet again, only this time the ditches are steep and he would not have been able to drive back out. Luckily, they are not real steep, so there would have been little chance of a roll over, but one never knows. A short time after I pulled into the driveway, the county plow came by, and if the garbage truck had needed assistance, he would have called for it. So, I didn't attempt to go back to see if he had went off the road, or just turned off and giving up trying to get into tow to pick up trash. I didn't see any sense in putting another vehicle out on the roads, and taking the chance of one more person going off the road, so I had a light lunch and then took a much needed nap. |
| Well, what can I say? I should have been in here sooner, but things kind of got out of control today. Not in a bad way, and it was a good day, it just slipped away faster than I had wanted. I had the day off, with Rhonda. We got up kind of early, she at seven thirty when the Dinger woke her, me at eight thirty to the sound of singing birds when the alarm went off. We had some coffee, then started our days tasks. First on the agenda was a trip into town to do some grocery shopping. Of course, when Rhonda and I go shopping, it can take hours. We enjoy looking and shopping together way too much. So, instead of a quick run into town, it turned into a half a day event by the the time we returned home. This wasn't anything bad, since we had a great time shopping and spending time together. But, there were some pressing matters to finish up. So we return home around four or so, and just as I'm about to get out of the vehicle, my cell phone rings. It's the guard who is scheduled to open in the morning. Seems there's a bit of a problem, though. For one thing, he lost his vehicle over the winter, and since he still lives with his parents, is using one of their cars. Well, the one he was using also broke down, so now the family has only one vehicle, and that's kind of causing a problem. Also, the weather isn't helping out. Tonight there is a winter weather advisory in effect until tomorrow evening. Rain changing to snow, blowing and drifting, and poor visibility. Of course, we don't know for sure if it will hit or how hard, but it's sounding like it can be a bad storm, and with using his parents only vehicle, he is kind of stuck if they say he can't use it because of the weather. I can understand it, since he lives in an area that has terrible roads when the weather is bad. So, he won't be in tomorrow to open, and I must forfeit my second day off to fill the shift. I may get Thursday off instead, if another guard will work it, but I don't know yet. So, I assume that it's back to work tomorrow, and if I do get Thursday off, great, if not, the pay check will be very nice. But, this means I don't have time that I thought I would have. So, just enjoy the afternoon, right? Wrong, that's not going to happen until after the taxes are done. Rhonda had them about done, but we owed and thought if we itemized we could lower it some. So we took the time to deduct expenses and ended up not having them done after all. We finished them up this afternoon, but in the end, it didn't make a damn bit of difference. I don't quite understand why it didn't, but the best I can figure is we just didn't have enough withheld. After the taxes were done, sent, and the amount due taken care of, we enjoyed a nice dinner, then relaxed a bit before having dessert. Then it was time to take the dogs out, feed them, and get this written. I should be in bed sleeping, so I don't get behind on my sleep again, but I didn't get up that early and just haven't been tired enough to sleep anyway. But, tomorrow I will be up around three in the morning and I know I'll be plenty tired then, as well as at work. Then, after I come home, I'll be ready for a nap, but that means I won't get much of anything done. It's almost funny, but not at the same time. I have been struggling to try and get my sleep pattern set, so I can work this early shift, get home and not need a nap, and then get to bed on time for a while now. I was finally getting a good routine going, then something like this comes up and kind of sets everything back again. Well, it could, but I'm sure I will recover fine. Tomorrow I will resist napping and then get to bed early and be right back on my schedule, but with a little bigger check coming next payday. So, for now, I haven't gotten much done online or anyplace else, but mostly as a result of putting off the taxes and letting some other things pile up. Tomorrow I will do what I can to get a bit further with catching up, and one of these first weeks, the winter weather will end. For now, it's a spring storm, and they can be worse than the winter ones. I once spent a week snowed in, at the end of April. I was on the other end of the state, but they have even nicer weather most of the time. So, will we get hammered or not? Time will tell. |
| Here I am. It's going to show me a day late in WdC but it's actually just a little after ten here in SD. I want to get this written, then get to bed and get a few hours of sleep before the alarm goes off. No, I don't have to get up at three for work, I'm getting up at two to watch the eclipse. Then, it's back to bed and up again about eight thirty or so. See, both Rhonda and I have the day off tomorrow, so we can enjoy the evening, get up in the middle of the night and see the eclipse, and then sleep in till sometime tomorrow morning before we start our day. Today was a trying day, up at three, but I didn't sleep real well last night. Better than the the last few nights, but still not real well. I suppose I slept fair, but woke up quite often. Part of the problem is my elbow. It's feeling better today, but it's still pretty sore, and it was throbbing a lot during the night. I don't know for sure what I did to it, but it's healing and that's the main thing. Two days ago, on Saturday, I cut the strap off of a package of tie-downs and pulled something in my elbow. It hurt like the dickens, and got worse as the day went on. It swelled up, hurt up into my upper and down into my forearm as well as in the elbow. By Saturday night, there was a read area forming over the most intense pain in the elbow, like a bruise but coming from within, not out. This indicated something was bleeding within the elbow, and I feared it may have been a tendon, which would require medical attention, possibly even some surgery to correct. By yesterday, it had not shown any improvement, and the pain continued to shoot down into my lower arm as well as up into the upper arm. I had it wrapped and babied it all day at work, then kept it supported and took it easy at home. Last night it was throbbing and hurting pretty steady yet, was still swollen, and the bruising had surfaced even more. Today I wrapped it again and took it as easy as I could on it at work. The wrap was driving me nuts, itching and irritating to the point I had to take it off. But, I forced myself to wait until I was done with work, so that I didn't cause any further injury. I have had it unwrapped all afternoon and evening, but am still taking it real slow and easy with my right arm, but the swelling is down now, and it's not nearly as sensitive as it was. It still hurts, but the throbbing has subsided, and it's beginning to itch. I assume it's a result of some healing taking place in the area of injury, which brings me reinsurance that the damage was in the muscle, not the tendon. It also means it's healing up quickly, and if I take it easy on it for a while yet, I should be recovered in no time without any further problems. But, the trick is to take it easy. I'm right handed, and it's difficult to restrain from doing things I normally do now that it's feeling better. I know I shouldn't, but it's not a matter of choosing to do something, it's just doing it out of habit and not thinking about the arm. When it hurt like the dickens, I had no problem remembering to not use my right arm, but now that it's not hurting so much, I don't think about what I'm doing until I feel it hurt again. I'm doing pretty good, but I am also going ot use a sling on it when I do things, just so I will not habitually reach out with my right hand and tear the same injured area again. I may also wrap it when I'm doing some activities, to give it some support and keep compression on it so it does not swell up again. It depends on how it's feeling in the morning and what I'm doing. I guess the way to look at it is, by what I chose to do, and if it's needed or not. I just know this, I do not want it to hurt like it has been, and I really don't want to habe to have any surgery for a torn ligament or cartridge damage. A few weeks to let it heal good is nothing compared to the time I would need to heal after surgery, and then there would also be physical therapy to attend, and I doubt that any doctor would let me work until such a time as the healing and therapy warrant my return. No, it could be weeks, maybe even months before I could do much again, and I want to do a lot this summer, so I'll baby it now and let it heal. |
| This is just a sample of what this summer may be like, so I will have to make other arrangements to get in here sooner. I worked today, starting at eight, and got done about one this afternoon. Not a bad day, but very cold and windy. It didn't get as busy as a result of being cold and windy, so I didn't have to stick around to provide double coverage after one. I did a little shopping, just picking up a few groceries, and filling up with gas. But, this was enough to let me know it was pretty crazy in the stores and a lot of traffic on the streets. So, not wanting a repeat of yesterday, I went back to work, but was off the clock. I hung out and did some paperwork, just in case it got busy and I would have to clock back in. For me, it's twenty five miles to work, and then another twenty five back home. So, if I had driven home and needed to go back in, I would have the extra fifty miles of driving for the day. This almost happened yesterday, after it got slow enough for me to clock out and come home. Around two thirty they got real busy at work, and really should have called me. Today they would have called if it got busy, so I decided to stick around and save fifty miles. The price of gas is too high to warrant that many extra miles, especially since I'm working the double coverage hours as needed. In other words, if it gets busy after I clock out, I have to run back in, and then if it slows back down, I have to clock back out. I could easily end up working as little as an hour, and that would barely break even with what it cost me for gas. So, I stuck it out, but it did not get busy enough for me to have to clock back in. I did have enough time to work out the next schedule, and then left around three thirty. By the time I got out of the store, however, the next guard was just getting there, so I didn't actually leave for home until about a quarter to four. Then, I started looking for some information I need to finish my taxes. I found what I needed, and was just getting set to start in on going over the dates I needed, when Rhonda got home. So, I put things aside and talked to her for a little bit, then she started supper and I started looking up dates. I got through to June of last year by the time she had our dinner ready, so I put my work aside and we enjoyed a nice dinner in front of the TV. After we finished, we paused our program and she fed the dogs while I worked on the next schedule. See, I had it done at work, but since we cannot have any electronics I couldn't do it on the computer. Instead, I just filled out a rough copy by hand, and had to enter the information in Excel, then print it. Once I had that done, it's eight in the evening, and I should be thinking of getting ready for bed. After all, I have to get up at three tomorrow for work. But, I had not logged into 750 Words to write this yet, and I had not been in to WdC at all. So I started this journal entry and once I get it finished, I'll log into WdC long enough to take a quick look at messages and post this journal entry. Then it's time to relax a little with a brandy water, before turning in for the night. Weekends are going to be crazy like this for the summer, since by next month I'll be working double coverage Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Also, the "as needed" will change next month to just a regular scheduled time. Friday will see me working twelve hours and getting done at five at night. Saturday will be eleven hours and I will get done at four, and Sundays will be my short double coverage day, at six hours, getting done at four. Of course, every other weekend I will get done an hour earlier, so three instead of four. That's not going to leave much time to get anything else done over the weekends, but I will get three days off each week. Well, if things go right, which sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't. We will see, and hope, that most of the time they will. |
| Today I'm kind of late getting in here to write. Not real late, but a little after eight, my time. If I had to work early tomorrow, it would be real late, but since tomorrow is Sunday, I don't have to be there until eight, so I can sleep in until around five thirty. As you can seen, then, this isn't too late, but still a lot later than the last few days have been. I've been doing a lot better at getting this written earlier so I can get to bed on time. But, even with this done, and trying to get things finished up so I can get to bed early, it hasn't made the difference I had hoped. Not that I have thrown in the towel by no means, but so far there hasn't been much success at getting to sleep earlier. One of the problems has been just getting to bed earlier, and I have made a lot of improvement, in the right direction. Even so, it's taking a lot of time to get the time pushed back to where it should be. I'm doing good, but so far have not gotten to bed before nine. That's a half hour later than I want. I want to be in bed by eight thirty, at the latest, and preferable by eight on the nights I have to be up by three the following mornings. Even though I have not made this mark yet, I have seen a lot of improvement and nine is a whole hell of a lot better than eleven, twelve, and even one in the morning. That was the typical times for me, with ten to ten thirty making the early nights for me to retire. I know it's going to take time, and with persistance, I will push the time back to eight thirty and then back to eight. For now, nine is good, and even if I managed to get to bed before then, it would serve little purpose. That's the other problem, sleep. I can go to bed sooner, but that doesn't mean I'll be sleeping any sooner. The last two nights have proved that old habits die very hard, and very slow. I had a terrible time trying to get to sleep Thursday night, and even though it was ten thirty before I even got to bed, and I was feeling pretty tired, I just could not get to sleep. Eventually I did fall asleep, but it was after midnight before this would happen, and then I was up at least six times from midnight to three when the alarm went off. I was tired all day, but fought off the desire to nap, and was sure that I would be in bed early and sleeping early last night. I made it by nine, and then I tossed and turned, still unable to fall asleep. I did sleep better once I did fall asleep, but it took a long time. I don't know what the time was when I finally got to sleep, but I know it was after eleven before I was sleeping sound. I didn't pay any attention to the clocks the few times I had to get up and go to the bathroom, but Rhonda was up quite a few times and said it was after eleven before I finally fell into a deep sleep. This should insure that I will fall asleep quickly tonight, but then again, who knows. It's not a matter of being tired, it's that damned internal clock that has me messed up. It just won't let me sleep sound until a set time, and it's going to take some work at getting it reset. But, I plan on doing just that, putting the time and effort into following this new routine until I reset my internal clock and can get a good sound sleep going earlier in the night. I know it's been a long time set where it's at now, and I don't go into the sound sleep until about the time I need to get up. Or, at least that's the way it's been for a long time now. But, I'm beginning to see results that this is changing. Slow, but sure, it's changing. Instead of being into that deep sleep that is so difficult to break out of when the alarm goes off now, I hear the alarm before Rhonda does. I have an app for my netbook, and it's great. I have it programmed for each day I need to get up, and the different times I need it to go off. Another wonderful feature is it slowly increases the volume as it goes off. So, I have it set to play revile but it starts out with no sound, and over five minutes it slowly increases to the full sound. I now wake up before it makes it past one minute, and still too quiet for Rhonda to hear. That means I am sleeping very light when it goes off. I'm beginning to adjust to the time I need to be up, and I must be sleeping sound sooner. Now, all I need to do is work on getting to bed a little earlier, and also getting to sleep right away, instead of taking an hour or so to fall asleep. Then, when I have this mastered, I can wake up feeling rested and refreshed, even on the days I work the early hours. |
| I'm taking a little time to get this written now, or I have a feeling it may get kind of late on me. Hopefully, with this done now, I can get to bed on time and get a good nights sleep in, or tomorrow is going to be hell, since I didn't get much sleep last night. I don't know why, but I just couldn't get to sleep, and once I did, I was up and down four or five times. Take into account that I didn't get to bed until eleven, and got up a little after three, and you can see it wasn't a very restful night at all. I have to be up that early again tomorrow, so I'm hoping to both get to bed earlier, and sleep better tonight. I'm plenty tired now, and could fall asleep sitting here if I let myself. Funny how tired a person can get, but then when you get into bed to actually sleep, you can't. Luckily for me, that's not very often. As a rule I fall asleep very quickly. Nights like last night are the rare times this does not hold true. And, it's starting to look like this is most common after I have had some time off. I suppose I get caught up on my sleep over the two or three days I get off, then when it's time to get to bed early, I'm not tired enough to sleep. It must be something similar to this. I've been working on our taxes this afternoon, since I got home. Rhonda had them about done, but we would have had to pay in this year. So, I decided to see how much we could get that amount reduced if we listed deductions. Unfortunately, we didn't file and sort things for this, since we didn't know we would need to list these items. I spent the better part of the afternoon, looking for documents and figuring up totals for the deductions we can claim. I haven't gotten far enough along to see if it's going to help out or not, but I'm hoping we can at least break even. Just think, there was a time in our history as a nation, that we did not have to pay any income tax to the government. Of course, things were different then, but it still seems like something went way out of whack from those days to the present. I like the idea of no income tax, or if we must pay, just having a flat rate straight across the board for all earned income. No exemptions, no special taxes, just base it on earned income and do away with the rest of the crap. No refunds, no corrections, no taxes due, just a set amount from the money a person earns, deducted straight from their check. If a family of five has one person working, then it's one income and it's taxed the set rate, no adjustments or other crap. If two of them work, they each pay the same rate on the income they earned. Think of how much simpler it would be, and how many government jobs would be ended. The money they save on the current tax system would lower the base rate to five percent or less, I betcha! Of course, I think that government as a whole could be downsized and save a lot of tax money for us. I've never been a fan of big government, and feel the fed should only provide basic services for the states, in order to protect their sovereign rights to govern themselves. In today's age it's becoming more and more common for laws to be passed and enforced to end bullying. Yet, each of the fifty states are bullied by the bulky fed constantly. Do this or you lose money, do that or you have to pay more -- it's almost like blackmail, in my opinion. Well, enough about that for tonight, I don't want to give myself nightmares. Besides, I'm coming up on having my 750 words written for this site. Yes, I'm writing in 750 Words still, and when I hit the mark, I make my quota for the day. At the same time, I'm writing my journal entry for WdC and will copy and paste this over when I get done. I get two birds with one stone, and like the fact that I'm also holding myself to a minimum number of words, so that I don't get tired, lazy, or short on time and just whip out a handful of random thoughts in two or three short paragraphs and call it my journal entry. To write 750 words requires some thought, and it shows more control over my writing. Hey, I may be in a slump and not getting any poems or stories written, but at least I have my journal entries done. I feel it's better to write a little than nothing at all. |
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