My thoughts released; a mind set free
These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations.|
Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free.
Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written.
|It's a bit late getting in here again, 11:19 my time. Once again, it's the same daughter with the same issues and I'm still just as stumped with how to deal with it. But, I did make it in again and just managing to get a daily blog entry is kind of nice.
It was kind of a long day, the oldest daughter was having some difficulties right away this morning with her distant learning, so she emailed her advisory teacher. The school is shut down until after the first of the year, but he's managed to get advisory students in a couple of days a week so they can get extra help. He set it up so she should be able to go all week, starting today, so we had to scramble a bit to get her off to school when my wife drove in for work.
The younger girl did pretty well, but had a bit of an attitude because her sister gets to go to school and she doesn't. She loves school but a lot of it has to do with hanging with her friends, but she doesn't quite understand that even if she did go, they wouldn't be there. In her mind, it's unfair that her sister can go and she can't and she argues that if she could go so could her friends who are also advisory students.
Once she was finished with school work, she relaxed with her phone for a bit. I had taken my computer in for repairs and have been waiting for it. I received an email that it was fixed and ready for pick up. It's an hour and a half drive to the store where I took it in and had to pick it up, and when I tried to drop it off, I had to make an appointment, which had me waiting for over two hours to leave it to get fixed. So, when the email stated that I needed to make an appointment to pick it up, I didn't hesitate to click the link and do just that.
The soonest I could get the computer was today at 7:40 to 8:00 this evening, so I took it and confirmed the reservation. A few minutes later, I received a confirmation email that I was to bring with me to get my computer. Great, I was excited to have it back. But, about half an hour later I got a call from the store. I was told that the store closed at 7:00 so I wouldn't be able to get in at the reserved time. I explained why and what, and he apologized for the whole mess. He said if I could get there before seven, I could pick it up anytime and didn't need a reservation.
So, I decided to drive over and get it, taking my youngest with me to do her Christmas shopping. This got things stirred up again because she doesn't like long drives and would rather stay home on her phone with friends. We talked for a bit and she seemed to do pretty good again, we went to pick up the computer and then to get something to eat. After I let her do her shopping and we drove home. The evening went fine, then she went to her room and watched an hour of television and came out to read before bed. Instead of settling in, she insisted that she wasn't tired and didn't want to go to bed.
I explained, again, that if she wasn't able to sleep after spending time on her phone and watching television, I would have to set the times back and get her off the screens so she could sleep. She instantly developed an attitude about if I didn't get my way I would take things away. I didn't want to get a fight going tonight, so I dropped it, she read for a half-hour and is now still trying to get to sleep. I know screen time can interfere, but she tends to do pretty well. It's more her general attitude that I'm up to spend time in here, then she should be able to stay up, too.
I know it's nothing more than her not going to school and being upset because of the restrictions, She has no way of directing her frustration towards our elected officials or the virus behind this, so it's directed at me. But, I'm getting tired; I can't do anything about any of it and it's making everyone's life miserable, but how do I relay that to a thirteen year old?
|Sunday, 11:14 and once again I'm in before midnight. I was starting to doze off waiting for the youngest to get to sleep, but now I have a little quiet time to come in and write.
Yesterday the question was what to do today, go Christmas shopping as we had planned or go to my mother-in-laws and help her out with setting up her new freezer, moving some stuff around, and helping her get her garage organized. Originally, we wanted to shop Saturday, but it did not work out so we decided on today, then the request for help came.
This morning both my wife and I were up early again; so much for sleeping in on the weekend and catching up on some much needed rest. We talked it over and still could not decide. We really wanted to get the biggest part of our shopping done but we also wanted to help my mother-in-law. Part of the problem is, not very many of her family goes to see her and she gets very lonely, especially this time of year.
For example, she called another of her daughter's because she needed toilet paper. We assume she had figured we would put her off and do our shopping, so this was a good way to get someone to come over. Well, we didn't put her off, but planned on getting things done early so we would have time t shop for a bit this afternoon. The other daughter did bring her a package of toilet paper, made her pay her back for it, and also charged her mother for gas money.
My wife took the package of toilet paper to the laundry room to store it and seen there was four more packages, large packages, already stacked in there. When she came out, she told her mom, "You have enough toilet paper in there to last the winter, you didn't need more."
My mother-in-law nodded and said, "I know, but that's the only way I could get her to come over for a little bit."
I'm glad we made time this morning to help her out and visit for a little while. After, we came home, relaxed for a little bit, then headed in the opposite direction and got some shopping done. It made for a long day, a lot of driving, and I'm feeling beat, but I'm also feeling good.
Oh, and she already requested some help next weekend, but I've already forgot what for. It wasn't really anything important, she just gets lonely and looks for ways to get someone to visit. Maybe, if things work out, we can deliver her Christmas present a bit early and spend the day.
Her Christmas present is from another request she has for me, her microwave light burned out and she wants me to change it. It's an old microwave and it looks like the only way to get to the bulb is to pull it all apart. Oh, and it was purchased in 1984; I'm surprised it still works. Well, it kind of works, it took three minutes to heat up a cup of coffee that was at room temperature. She doesn't know it, but we found a simple microwave that will be easy for her to operate. Even though it's half the size of her old one, it's the same size oven inside, and it should not only heat her food and beverages up quickly, it should use a lot less electric, too.
|It's eleven o'clock on Saturday night; I made it before midnight my time and the emphasis is on made it in. Saturday morning, no alarm and everyone gets to sleep. But, I was up before eight,, even though I didn't get to bed until almost two-thirty. As a result, I was falling asleep in my chair a couple hours ago and figured I'd be in bed as soon as the girls were tucked in. I just got the last daughter tucked in and she is trying to go to sleep now. Of course, they did sleep in.
We had planned to go Christmas shopping today, but things didn't work out until it was already late afternoon, so we decided to put of shopping until tomorrow. But, I found a voice message from my mother-in-law earlier this evening saying she had been trying to get a hold of my wife and to have her call her. She also added that she needs a little help.
She purchased a small freezer she needs set up in the entry between the house and garage. Whoever hauled it brought it in but didn't bother to move anything and set it in place. Currently there is a bench sitting where the freezer needs to go. The bench needs to go to the garage, but before there's room in the garage, other things need to get moved to the big garage which is so packed full from some re-flooring, there's hardly room to walk. Again, most of this stuff should have gone to the big garage, but my brother-in-law who put the new flooring down was short on help.
We, my wife, daughters, and I, were supposed to go help move everything, but we had one sick daughter, just a bad cold, and had possibly been exposed to Covid. We had to self quarantine until the person had her test results back to know if we had been exposed or not. There was no Covod, just a nasty cold, which explains where my daughter caught it.
My wife called her mom back, but we didn't have an answer for her because we were both tired and wanted to discuss what direction we plan on going tomorrow. My mother-in-law lives about forty minutes east of us and our shopping will take us about forty minutes west, opposite directions.
I hate to not help her out, but at the same time, I hate to put off the shopping, too. With hind sight, I see we should have gone today, but of course, we don't have foresight until it turns to hindsight. There is also the other issue, my back. It's done great today and isn't even real sore anymore. But, being the first day of full recovery had me thinking that maybe it was a good thing we didn't get out shopping. All that walking, bending, and just the stress of shopping on a Saturday may have set me back. But now, on the same hand, moving furniture and a freezer may also be too much too soon.
The part that makes it so frustrating is that the son-in-law who did her floor lives a couple hours away, but was able to come help her out. We live almost an hour away and make it over quite often to help her out. But, she has a son who lives about ten minutes, if that, who won't do any more than he absolutely has to. She also ahs two other daughters who live less then twenty minutes away who also won't do much to help her out. Of course there are adult grandchildren who also live close, one in the same small town, about three blocks away.
It's undecided, but if we don't go tomorrow, it's going to be next weekend before we can go help. I hate to leave her waiting that long. Besides, she wants me to change the light in her microwave for her, she asked last weekend. Of course, it would require removing the entire cover to do this, a rather big job. Also, the microwave is about twenty years old! We had planned on getting her a new one for Christmas, but maybe we can find one at a decent price not too far out of the way and deliver her gift a little early.
Of course, that means paying more that if we go the other direction where there is a Menard's and a Walmart. What to do, oh what to do? I hope tomorrow I can update this item with our decision and how everything played out.
|In a bit later again today, but still before midnight my time. It's kind of funny looking at the little calendar just to the left and seeing a day missing here and another there, however, it feels good to be in here writing something every day, no matter how late it gets.
I'm glad to say my back is doing a great deal better today, sore and a bit stiff, but no spasms and I'm able to do a few things again. It felt great to be able to actually cook my daughter some lunch this afternoon, and even better to cook supper for the whole family this evening.
Tomorrow, if things continue to go well, my wife and I may be able to follow through on out plans to go do some Christmas shopping. We have some items ordered, but the expected delivery dates range from Dec. 8 through Jan. 8, and some items haven't even shipped yet. I'm also surprised to see how many items are out of stock; this has been the case most fo the year now, but at least toilet paper is in good supply again.
One day, after I pass from this life to the next, all the questions of the universe will be revealed, but until then, I don't think any of us will ever really know why there was such a shortage of toilet paper. I'm still waiting for the episode of Hoarders where they find a big two story house with full basement and attached three stall garage packed so full of toilet paper that there is barely a path to get through. Then again, perhaps it was a government conspiracy and someone, someday, will unearth a huge underground vault in some moutain range packed full of every type of toilet paper known to mankind.Yet another theory is that aliens discovered our pandemic early on, before we even knew how severe it was going to be. And, in this same scenario, consider Earth to be the only planet in the known universe that produces toilet paper. With an inter-galactic fear that Earthlings may not survive the pandemic, aliens flocked to our planet and abducted all the ass-wipe.
Anyway, it could be something else less dramatic, but then again...
|Wow, I'm in here pretty early for a change, only 10:30 here and 11:30 site time. It wasn't looking good for getting in here this early, but I got a nice surprise. But first, I'm going to save my entry and then edit it, maybe that will log the time I got in here. Maybe not, but it's worth a try.
It's been a pretty uneventful day as a whole, but it started out looking like the beginning of a troubled day. Our oldest daughter was supposed to catch the school bus this morning for her advisory class. The school is closed for normal classes, but her advisory teacher finagled it so his students could attend Thursday and Friday instead of online classes at home.
But, the bus that was supposed to stop didn't. My wife works at the school and starts at nine, so she gave the oldest a ride in. But, it already had our daughter's anxieties going and I didn't know how the day would progress.
Our younger daughter, who loves school, didn't get the same option, so she had to be up and do her classes online. I perceived problems here as well. She was a bit late logging into her first hour class, but since it was the first day of online classes, a lot of other students also logged in late.
her classes went well except for her second period, the teacher, for what ever reason, wasn't able to hold class. But it was posted and she had already worked ahead and had the assignment finished. The rest of the day went pretty smoothly.
After school, both girls did pretty good but then about 9:00 this evening, they wanted to watch their television show. It was done a little before 10:00, but the youngest said they wanted to watch a second one. This has been the routine over the last week. My wife wanted to go to bed, and since their TV is easy to hear in our room, I had them move out to the living room to finish the show.
That's when the older girl stated she didn't want to watch the show, but the younger girl had started it and she didn't want to miss any of it. Of course, the younger girl said her sister was lying and things started to heat up. I was sure we were going to have them both at it, but surprisingly, when I told them from now on, no television after 10:00 from now on, they both got quiet and didn't argue.
Once the show was done, the oldest sent to bed, the younger snuggled up with her blanket on the floor and closed her eyes, happy to sleep where she was; she often sleeps in the living room and as long as she's going to sleep, I'm not going to stir things up by trying to get her off to bed.
In all, a good day. How things worked out as they did, I'm not sure. But, if it's a gift for the day, I accept it, if it's a change on how things will be looking forward, that's even better. It does leave a question in my mind, however, "Where did our girls go?"
|I made it in, a bit later than I should have, it's just after eleven here, but it's still Wednesday so I'm good.
I almost put this off, since sitting up at the desk is a bit discomforting tonight. I also thought of trying to sit in my comfortable chair in the living room and type this out on the laptop, but I wasn't sitting very well there, kind of lisping to one side which would make typing a bit difficult. Yes, my back is still being a pain, and as soon as I'm done here I'm off to bed.
I was doing better through most of the day, sore, stiff, and not having full feeling back in my right foot, but the shooting pain down my right buttock was gone and the spasm that I had yesterday had ceased. I was doing so well that I was thinking about hanging the cane back up, but decided against it until more time had passed.
My wife had just gotten home from work, bring us deli chicken and sides for supper. I went out to smoke and get the door for her and my daughter who was helping with hauling everything in. I was fine until I came inside and set my cane off to the side to take my jacket off. I had just slipped out of it when my pelvis decided to slip out as well. One big spasm, a bolt of white-hot lightning shooting down my right buttock and leg, and total loss of feeling in my right foot.
Even as it hit I felt myself starting to buckle, but I couldn't stop myself. The muscle spasm was too strong and down I started to go, holding the back of the chair to keep from falling completely. I did manage to hold on for a bit, but another spasm and more pain ended any chance of not ending up on the floor. Once down, all I could do was lie there and wait out the following spasms and hope they would subside. If they did not, I knew I'd be going for a ride to the hospital, but once lying flat on my back with my knees bent, the pressure was off and the spasms left. I was able to get up and back into my chair.
So far, the spasms haven't returned, the pain isn't really bad, but that's only because there's a sense of numbness in my lower back, and even the shooting pain has subsided more of a tingling than actual pain. That there are still some nerves pinched is clear, the right foot is red and feels like it's asleep, but I hope by morning it will be better again. Usually, this only lasts a few days, and then as quickly as it hit, it's gone again with just some general aching in it's wake, like bruised muscle.
|I'm late again tonight so it's looking like I missed a day on my calendar, but this is still my December first entry, it's just thirty minutes into tomorrow.
I'm having some problems with my back tonight, and it's a real pain. I know, bad pun. But, if I don't make humor of it, I think it coud drive me batty, and this is the wrong holiday for bats. It's funny, in a non-humorous kind of way, how I can do so many things that could throw my back out, and I'm fine. Then, without really doing anything, it's just out.
I injured my lower spine and shattered my tail bone many years ago. At the time, I had a lot of pressure on my spinal column that left me with limited use of my legs and some major lower back spasms. After a few weeks in the hospital, I was able to return home with the aid of a walker. With lots of physical therapy and getting my spine extended on a modern day version of the rack, I eventually was able to move with a cane and then without.
It healed pretty well, but left me a couple of reminders. One of which is a disc that bulges out of place and creates a weak link in my lower spine. The second is a pelvis that sometimes shifts out of place and kind twists and tilts on the spine. This of course creates a lot of pain, muscle spasms, and pressure on the spinal column as well as pinching some of the nerves that go to my legs, especially the right leg. It also leaves me looking very crooked and bent.
As I mentioned earlier, I can do al sorts of things that involve lifting, bending, and twisting and not get anything more than a sore back from them. Then, like today, I can be relaxing in my chair for a little while after getting things ready for dinner, then go to stand up and my pelvic shifts and I'm back to hobbling around with a cane, sharp pains shooting down my leg and no feeling in my foot.
That has a lot to do with me not logging in earlier. I spent some time sitting in my chair with seems to support my back very well and let it rest for a while. It helped, I'm moving around without the need of the cane again, but keeping it close just in case. I took a couple of Advil for the pain and it's helped a lot with my back, but I still have a lot of pain shooting into my right buttock and down the back of my right leg. My foot feels like it's asleep, but it's got feeling, and I'm able to sit up and type without discomfort.
Now, it's about time for bed. I'd say, "A good night sleep and I'll be good as new", but that's another problem, I cannot stay in bed for too long or I will wake to a very stiff and sore back. So, maybe being up late tonight will be a blessing and I won't make my back any worse by sleeping too long.
|Getting in here even earlier tonight, ten-thirty five. That's the earliest in a long time.
Even so, not everyone is in bed, my youngest is still awake, but reading. It usually puts her to sleep in about a half an hour or so, and I'm hoping it will again tonight. She was up early, about six-thirty, so she should be tired. Everyone was up early, before the alarm, even our oldest daughter, and that doesn't happen very often. I think the idea of returning to school but through distance learning had them anxious and a big factor in the early morning wake up.
It actually went real well today, both girls got logged in with a few minutes to spare and then set about getting their school work done before noon. Well, except for the younger girl, she still has some math to work on, but it's not due until Thursday and she asked if she could put it off until tomorrow when she can work on it with her friend, online of course.
Both girls had a lot of questions with their work today, some in language, some in science, and even some in biology. I was able to bring out most of the answers to their questions, but there were a couple I had to do a bit of googling over to understand the terms. The oldest asked me how I knew the answers and the younger one a bit later stated that I must be pretty smart. It made me feel pretty good, even if it was a bit early for me to tax my brain so hard. Well, perhaps the earliness of the hour wasn't so much the problem as not enough coffee yet, it's kind of a toss up.
Later this afternoon, when my wife got home from work, she brought in the mail with her. Another nice surprise, my package from Writing.Com had arrived; I wasn't expecting it until mid week. I had purchased one of the stocking hats when I seen them in the Newsfeed. I am not disappointed with it at all. It's soft, comfortable, and fits great. It's also nice and thick, very warm, and will be wonderful when the temperatures drop down. We may see single digits by morning, so I'll be able to try it out very soon.
As with every other order I've made here, there was an included bundle of goodies. A couple pens, a couple bookmarks, and a magnet. Oh, and another eraser. Do you think they know something? Actually, I do tend to go through erasers when I write, especially poetry. For some reason it's easier for me to capture the idea on paper, writing freehand, then go through it and work out the rhymes and counts. I like to use a mechanical pencil for this and often do a lot of erasing.
Now, it's time for me to get ready for bed myself. My youngest has her book put down and is falling asleep even as I finish this. Soon, I'll be doing the same.
|A bit earlier in here tonight. As much as this is a blog, it's also become kind of a time log for me as well. The times I post in here are my time, but I usually log WDC time as well; I'm not going to do that anymore, it's irrelevant. My time, however, is kind of nice to log. It's a reflection I ca//n easily look back on and see how late it is before I get the kids to bed and to sleep, so I can have my little bit of peace and quiet time.
Tomorrow it's back to school for the girls, but online until next year. My wife also returns to work, but she is working yet a different time from before. She was doing evenings, going in about three and home at about midnight. Then they switched her to days, so it was in at seven-thirty and back home at four. Now, with the schools not having classes, she goes in and does a nine to five-thirty shift.
It's been a lot of changes over the last couple of weeks. In all, we all handle it pretty well, but my youngest daughter does not do well with changes. It was a big adjustment when my wife switched from evenings to days, and she was finally starting to get more accustomed to it when Thanksgiving break came along. So, no school since Wednesday and my wife home since Thursday, another big change for her. Normally it would be easier with school starting back up tomorrow but instead, it's distance learning until after the first of the year another big change.
I know she's struggling with it, and I also know it's part of what's been keeping her from going to bed at night. It's also a lot to do with her mood swings, especially tonight. I'm hoping she and I can have a nice chat tomorrow so she can get some of this out. She holds so much in, but sometimes if I talk to her and understand a bit of what's going on, she opens up and it comes flooding out. It helps, she still has to adjust and still has a difficult time, but she does better knowing someone understands it's difficult for her and understands where she is at.
We all have suffered through the year with the pandemic. We lost hours and wages, we had to stay home and change our way of life, we had to change and adjust almost daily. For some of us, it meant relocating and starting all over, for others it's personal loss and grief. But we are adults, we have lived through other crises and we know we will come out the other side. That things will change, that's a given, we've seen that with 9/11 as well as other historic events.
But our children have not seen anything like this. For them, this is bigger than life and tomorrow is unkown. They have no point of reference to look back to, only an unknown future that so far this year has changed constantly. Children need stability, in the home and at school, this year, they have not had anything stable in life. It's not anyone's fault, it's life, but we can take a step back and try to understand how difficult this is for them, stop fretting over how difficult it is for us,and understand it's tenfold for them.
Please, take a few minutes every week, every day, as often as is needed to remind them, we are still here, we will see them through this and out the other side. Give them a safe harbor in this global hurricane of change we are living in.
|Tonight it's well after midnight, an hour and five minutes after by the little clock at the bottom of the screen, another hour after that by WDC time. Why so late tonight? Well, most often it's because of problems or difficulties with our youngest daughter who really fights going to bed a lot of nights.
Today, she had slept in almost till noon, my fault for not waking her, but she has been looking pretty tired and she and her sister were both up kind of late last night. But, after she was up, she was in good spirits and looked more rested than she has in a while. She had a pretty bad cold and it's been taking her a while to get completely over it.
Normally we put up Christmas decorations right after Thanksgiving, sometimes even that same evening. This year, we had to do some major rearranging to make room for the tree, so we didn't start decorating until today. Both girls helped out and had a good time while I watched some and fixed us a nice dinner. After dinner, my wife wanted to watch A Christmas Carol, but the girls weren't too interested in seeing it again. They instead watched a few of their shows in the bedroom.
They wanted to watch one more episode but my wife wanted to go to bed so I let them watch out here in the living room. Of course, I like the time right after everyone's in bed to get in here to write and unwind a little before going to bed myself, so I put off writing this until after their show was done. But, after it was finished, the younger girl wasn't very tired yet. I anticipated this to become a problem, but to my surprise, when I offered her the chance to read for a while, she happily agreed.
While she was reading, I went over to the Question of The Day and shared a story from my past. Once done there, I came over here to my blog. I wanted to turn the lights down and get my youngest tucked in and hopefully asleep first, but when I checked on her, she was already sound asleep, her book beside her.
Now, everyone's asleep, it's quiet and nice, my blog entry is done, and soon I'll be joining them in slumber. Sweet dreams...
|Wow, this is the earliest I've been in to write my blog in a long time. I have one minute till midnight by WDC time, but here it's only going on eleven. I may be in bed before midnight!
So, it's black Friday, but with the way things are, a lot of places have been doing online black Friday all week. Still, I know a lot of people were probably our for the sales, if the stores did an in-store sale.
My wife and I don't do the black Friday thing. One reason is the madness of people competing for the sales items. It's like, Thursday give thanks for all you have, and then Friday it's push, shove, and do whatever you can to get what you want. The two days are kind of an oxymoron.
The biggest reason we don't do the black Friday thing is because for years we worked it. We did yard security for a home improvement store, so we didn't see how crazy it was inside except for shift changes. Even so, many items were set out in the yard and we had to deal with guests, as the store called them, coming in to pick up items. The people were rude, would not follow directions, and even became somewhat hostile if they had to wait to enter.
Normally, if we needed a break we would radio the store and have a store employee come out and fill in for us while we took a bathroom break. But on black Friday, we couldn't get a break because the store was too busy to send anyone out. Of course the yard was also busy, non stop running to let people in and to check people out. The only solution was to try and schedule the guards for three or four hour shifts, which meant having to spit shifts up and needing to work numerous shifts to cover the day; a real pain in the caboose for me since I did the scheduling and often had to fill unfilled shifts.
|Happy Thanksgiving. Yes, it's Thursday night here at home even though it's after midnight within the site.
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, even though it wasn't starting out that way. Our plans were to spend the day with my mother-in-law at her house with my sister-in-law and her family also meeting us there. Of course, things changed; that's the motto for this year, go ahead and plan, but it will change.
A couple of weeks ago, they had a positive covid exposure within their family. It turned out fine, the fella who contracted the virus didn't even get sick and if it hadn't been for mandatory testing, he wouldn't have even known. Not only did he not get sick, but he also recovered very rapidly and tested negative the following week. The rest of the family also tested negative to covid but had contacted another virus, the common cold. Since they all got sick with the cold, they stayed home to prevent spreading it, even though they're all feeling better already.
We had plans to be up early, get things ready, then head over to my mother-in-law's to fix dinner, with plans to eat around three. That meant getting everyone to bed on time, but the youngest girl couldn't sleep. I finally got her to doze off around midnight, spent another hour online to ensure she stayed asleep, then retired myself at one-thirty. I was very tired and fell asleep quickly.
A couple of hours later I woke from a bad dream; a real nightmare. In my dream, the youngest girl woke up and went out to the living room and turned on the television. Instead of streaming from Netflix, it streamed a demon into the living room which killed her and left her lying on the floor in front of the set, then proceeded to the older girl's room and killed her. In my dream, I had woken up and found my youngest daughter on the floor. Before I ran to the older daughter's room, the demon had done its work and had moved to our room, and even as I checked on the older daughter killed my wife.
I knew it was a dream, but I had to get up and check. I told myself, "No, it's just a dream." then went to the bathroom and was going to return to bed. But I couldn't without checking on the girls. I looked in on the youngest daughter and her bed was empty!
I hustled out to the living room and there she was, flat on her back in front of the tv, just like in my dream. I knew the dream wasn't real, and the last thing I wanted was to wake her, but I had to check. I got down on the floor beside her and put my ear close to her mouth. She was breathing slowly and deeply, sound asleep. Satisfied, I checked on the older girl and found her safely sleeping in her bed. It was, I repeated, "Just a dream."
I got back into bed and snuggled up to my wife and soon began drifting off to sleep. But even as I began to doze, the nightmare continued. The demon was there telling me in my half-sleep that I had missed my chance to save the girls and send it back to hell by turning the tv on and capturing it. It then turned and kind of wafted into my youngest daughter's room.
I had to save her so I forced myself to wake and follow. But even as I got ready to turn on the tv in her room, it pushed past me for the living room. It halted at my room and commanded my wife to stop me, then floated on. As I tried to follow she got up and started asking me if I was alright and what was wrong. I told her I was in a nightmare and pushed past her to the living room. As I got to the room the demon was leaning over my daughter and reaching for her chest. I grabbed the control and turned the tv on just in time. The demon went into the bright screen and was gone. With a sigh of relief, I returned to bed.
But when I got into bed, my wife sat up and asked me what was going on and if I was alright. I couldn't tell if it was still the nightmare or if I was asleep; I was stuck half awake, half asleep, half in reality, and halfway in a dream. I told her I had a bad dream and that everything was fine, but I wasn't sure if I had woke up or if I was still dreaming about everything. I got back up, grabbed my robe, went out to the kitchen, grabbed a cigarette and went outside into the cold.
I sat out there in the cold smoking my cigarette until I was sure I wasn't dreaming anymore. I put it out, went back in, checked on everyone, then went back to bed and fell asleep a little after four. I was up again at seven-thirty, very tired and feeling very beaten down. My wife was also up and knew I had a rough night. She told me I was up a couple of times, went to the girl's rooms, turned on the tv just to turn it back off, and when she asked, just ignored her and got back up and went out to smoke.
I explained it all to her before we left, took a nap after dinner, and so far it's been a good night. I hope by writing it all out, the dream will not return and I can sleep soundly tonight. Perhaps somewhere in all of this, there's a good story to be told one day.
|This is my Wednesday night entry, but again, after midnight. That means it is officially Thursday and Thanksgiving.
We aren't doing anything too much for the day, but since my mother-in-law is getting up there in years and would be spending her first Thanksgiving home alone, we're heading over to her house right away in the morning. Well cook dinner over there, spend a nice day, and then the plan is to come back home. She tends to do her best to get us to spend the night, so that may also be a possibility. Even so, I will be coming home tomorrow to take care of the pets.
We have three now, Hannah our dog, Pizza, the oldest girl's hamster, and Hurricane, the younger daughter's chicken. Yes, you read that correctly, a chicken. Hannah was already adopted when we started fostering the girls, adopted herself from the pound, pending euthanization. After the girls moved in with us, they each wanted a pet but being in an apartment we were limited on what to get for them. Also, Hannah tends to be very tough on other animals; she never learned to get along with any growing up in the pound. For some reason, she doesn't always get along with other dogs, even though she grew up with other dogs in the pound.
The older girl got a hamster about the size of a small guinea pig and it's still doing great. The younger girl got an older hamster from a friend and it passed shortly after we took it in. We purchased another, a dwarf hamster, but it also passed within a few months. Next, we tried a gerbil that did a little better, but not much. She loves animals but can be a little rough on them, but we have no way of knowing why they didn't live longer.
Late this fall, I was surprised one evening to see a chicken in the driveway. There isn't anyone close with chickens, but some distance away I hear a rooster once in a while. I figured it got out and would soon head back home for the night. The next few days were cold, snowing and we didn't go out all weekend. Monday, however, it was nice again, the snow was melting, and I wanted to get the recyclables hauled. I was surprised to see the chicken come out from under the pickup.
I felt bad for it, living for three days under the pickup without much for it to eat except snow. I grabbed a handful of birdseed and tossed it out, the chicken came right out to me, hungry and pecking up seeds. So, instead of taking the truck to haul recyclables, we took the car and drove around the area to see if anyone had chickens, but we didn't find her home. Next, we drove to the local farm and fleet store and purchased a huge dog kennel, and fixed it up a bit for a chicken.
by the time we were ready for her, she had retired under the vehicle and was roosting on the axle. It took a little coaxing to get her to come out, and it took a few minutes more to get her to trust me to pick her up, but soon enough we had her in the cage. I wasn't sure how well she would like to be caged up, but she made herself right at home. In fact, it almost seemed like she was accustomed to being in a cage and felt safe and secure again. She became another pet, supposedly the younger girls, but we all take care of her.
|I made it before midnight, again. Well my time, not WDC, but that's alright.
It was a pretty trying day, but it worked out good even if it started kind of rough. The girls were slow getting up and then ended up missing the bus because they had to get on their phones instead of getting ready. My wife works at the school and left just after the bus usually stops. She asked the girls if they wanted to ride in with her, but they opted to wait for the bus. Why? So they could spend more time on their phones before school. Of course, I didn't know this at the time.
I was just getting my day started when in comes the oldest and tells me that the bus didn't come. I looked at the clock and it was already ten minutes after the bus stop schedule. It kind of upset me how she so quickly decided that the bus didn't come, even though she knew she was running behind and had missed the bus. I started up the truck and started cleaning the snow off so I could take them to school. Imagine the surprise when we turned the corner by the school and seen all the buses leaving.
Next on the agenda was my computer. I had decided to take it in to Best Buy today, since it's under warranty. It's about seventy miles one way, so I tried doing as much as I could online. Only, when I tried to set up an appointment, I couldn't get the site to comply, it wanted me to go into chat to set it up. I went into chat and after waiting for fifteen minutes and still not having anyone to chat with, I decided I'd just drive in and drop it off. I loaded it up, made sure I had the receipt and extended warranty, a cup of coffee, and Hannah, our dog. By this time it was a little after ten.
The drive was slower than I would have liked, since it was sleeting a little, had snowed earlier, and was also very foggy. I got to Best Buy about eleven-thirty. I put on my mask and carried everything across the slippery parking lot and into the store. I was greeted right away by a young woman who was more than happy to help me. She took my name, asked about the problem I was having, and checked her schedule, I could bring the computer in at two-thirty.
Of course, I knew it was going to take a while to fix so my plan was simple, drop it off, then once they get it fixed next week, or thereabouts, I would return to pick it up. The young lady confirmed it would be a week or so, but I couldn't leave it without an appointment. This made no sense to me, so I inquired why I would have to make an appointment to drop off my computer to get fixed sometime in the future when they could get to it.
I was trying not to get agitated and she was nice about it. She explained that they were short on help in the repair section so it was taking longer than normal. She also stated that because of the pandemic, they were required to set up all repairs by appointment and could not just let people come in and drop off. I knew it wasn't her policy and that there wasn't anything she could do about it, so all I could do was book the two-thirty slot and thank her for her time. She smiled, apparently she was more use to customers venting their disgruntlement upon her instead of realizing she was doing the best she could. She leaned in closer so the other person at the front couldn't hear, and told me she could get me in at two.
I was back at two and had the computer hauled in. She smiled and verified my name and sent me back to repairs where they looked up my warranty and got some information, slapped a sticker on the computer and said they could look at it there if I wanted to pay for labor, or they could send it in were it should be fully covered under the warranty. Either way it would be about two weeks to get it back again. I picked the free option and was done in about five minutes.
As I was turning to leave, another employee asked if I had everything taken care of. I informed her I did, but wasn't the happiest about not being able to get in without a two hour wait after driving for almost as long to get there on crappy roads. I also informed her that I knew there wasn't anything that could be done about it, except maybe get their scheduling problem corrected online. She surprised me and asked if I could hang out for a few minutes while she checked the site.
After a couple minutes on her tablet, she apologized and said they would get someone working on the problem right away. She also said she could offer me a discount on anything in the store to help over come the long drive and wait. Since I was out my Windows computer and my wife has been using my netbook that is at least ten years old and slower than slow, I decided to look at some computers. I was interested in a laptop for my wife, since I have a nice desktop machine. Most were way more than I wanted to spend, but they had some deals that were withing my purchasing powers. I ended up looking at a Lenovo that went about $600.00 originally but was on sale for 450.00. I asked a few questions about it and it sounded like the computer my wife and I had looked at a couple of times, only a different company.
I was hard pressed to get it, knowing my wife needed one and I could use it until I got mine back, but I just wasn't sure I should spend that much right then. She said she would be right back and returned with a store manager, explaining my long drive, my wait, and how I was interested in this particular computer. She asked if there was any way I could get it for the Black Friday online price. The manager agreed and I ended up buying it for 299.00.
It's kind of funny how being nice and understanding can turn a bad day good.
|I just logged in to check the site quick before heading off to bed. As I scrolled through the Newsfeed, an item caught my eye. Yes, it was the Writing.Com beanie or stocking cap, as we called them growing up. So, before going any further, I had to go shopping and purchase one before they are all gone. If they are as nice as other items I've purchased I already know I'm going to love it.
Then, since I did my shopping and spent some gift points, I decided I would head over here and write a short entry. But what to write about. Well, about how I got a nice surprise logging in and finding the beanie, and how nice it was not to have to go get my billfold to purchase it. Yes, I purchased a Writing.Com beanie with Writing.Com gift points. Points earned by doing the things I enjoy and why I'm a member anyway. Well, some are earned, but just as many are gifted for various reasons by various people around the site.
I would also like to add that a few months back, when things were pretty tight for us here, I was about to expire my premium membership and did not have the means to pay at the time. Again, the gift points saved the day and purchased enough of an extension to hold me over until I could afford to pay my annual membership.
I've been wanting a sweatshirt, or hoodie, as they call them now; I'm old school, remember. That's next on my list, along with more gift points. With this being such a wonderful place, I'm happy to make a few purchases when I can to help support the site and make it possible for the founders to continue this wonderful place.
|Wow, I'm actually writing this before midnight, well my time anyway.
I should have had this done already and been snuggled into bed if not sleeping, but my youngest daughter is having trouble falling asleep tonight. One of the problems is she slept too late this morning, which is my fault for not waking her sooner. But, since she was up late last night with cramping I just didn't have the heart to wake her up. I also think her anxieties are up with Thanksgiving this week.
Most kids would be looking forward to the break, but she loves school and would never miss if she had her way. Also, our school is shutting down for an extended holiday break and won't reopen until after the new year. That means distance learning and her not being able to visit with friends. None of her friends live close, so school is their main point of interactions, and that's going to be difficult for her. Hell, it's going to be difficult for all of us.
Once again, we are not sure of my wife's work hours, since she also works at the school. They are keeping K through third grade open, so hopefully she will not lose any hours. But, with the middle school and high school closed, they aren't going to need the entire custodial team, and that's where we aren't sure about how many hours, if any, she will get cut.
All of this is a result of the pandemic going on strong, or at least as strong as it's been since it hit. Our local numbers are higher, but then again, they are testing more people more often, and many of the ones testing positive aren't even getting sick. I personally haven't seen anything change much at all. The testing increases and so do the numbers. It's never really dropped much, but they say we are in our second wave now. I haven't seen the end of the first wave.
For now, all we can do is hope and pray. Maybe one of these days the numbers will start dropping and continue to drop as more and more people become more resistant. The other hope is better treatment for those infected, and a vaccine to help prevent catching the pesky bug. I'm thinking it's going to take all three to put a stop to the pandemic.
In the meantime, we continue on as normal as we can. No, I don't like to wear the mask and I and my family aren't really worried about catching the bug. Hell, as far as we know, we all had it right after it first hit, but we have no way to know for sure. My family and I continue to live as we always have, we shake hands and share hugs, we don't shy away from anyone who isn't wearing a mask, and do our best not to let this virus change the way we live. However, we also respect those who are afraid of catching it, we respect their right to be out and about without fear, so we wear our masks for them, sanitize our hands in the stores, and do our best to let them live according to their beliefs and concerns.
We are all in this together, and together we all wait for the day the numbers drop and life returns to normal.
|Once again my blog entry falls after the midnight hour. Even so, this is Fridays entry.
I would have made it in time, if not for my youngest granddaughter who was suffering some cramps and unable to fall to sleep tonight. She was tired, but with the cramping, she fought going to bed and going to sleep. Instead she spent some time on my lap, as long as she could, anyway, she's almost as tall as me and I'm sure she wasn't comfortable. Even so, it brought her comfort and I am not about to turn her away, it will be soon enough and I'll be looking back and wishing she would come sit on my lap for a spell again.
Once she became too uncomfortable, she retired to Grandma's rocker, and tried to curl up in that, but again, she has grown too big and the chair was just too small. I was finally able to convince her that maybe, if she got a good night sleep, tomorrow would have her feeling better.
Of course, she still fought going to sleep. She has almost nightly since we took her in and eventually adopted her. We still do not know why she fights going to sleep, but we have learned to accept it and have found ways to get her to try and go to sleep. Tonight, like most nights, once she committed to lying down and closing her eyes, she was out in minutes, Of course, she's sleeping soundly on the living room floor where she could stay close. I just covered her up and hope she sleeps well, with lots of sweet dreams, then wakes rested and cramp free in the morning.
|Another entry posted a bit late, just after midnight; it suppose to be Friday the 20ths entry.
Things seem to be more normal, if there is such a thing around her anymore. My wife worked days again, but then also had to work most of the afternoon shift as well, so she didn't get home until late. Both girls seemed to be in pretty good moods and we had no problems.
They headed off to bed around ten, the youngest one wanting to read for a while. My wife and I sat up and had a couple of mixed drinks and relaxed until just a short time ago. Now she is tucked into bed and most likely dozing off, while I spend a little time in here, posting to my blog.
I'll be off to bed next, and sleeping in minutes. I'm extremely tired tonight, since I have been short on sleep most of the week. But, no alarms tomorrow, so we can all sleep in. I'm hoping for a good night sleep and waking tomorrow feeling rested and renewed. It's been a hell of a week, but it's coming to an end.
Of course, next week we have Thanksgiving, so the school will shut down for the holiday and not reopen until after the new year, so my days of quiet and peacefulness will be gone for a spell. It's going to be difficult for the girls with the distance learning until school reopens, but I'll remain hopeful that it will pass quickly.
|Second entry for the day, however the first one was posted for yesterday but submitted after midnight. So, this is actually today's entry, after which, I'm thinking it's time for bed.
My topic tonight is kind of a rant, but if you happen to read this and have any advice, I'll gladly listen, err read it, that is.
Yesterday we had a bit of a blow up with our younger daughter shortly before bed, and by the time things de-escalated it was past eleven. Since she has some issues from her past, she's adopted, I knew she may not sleep well, or even be back up, so I gave her till after midnight and then checked in on her. She was sleeping, but very restless. I was late getting in here as a result, and late getting to bed; I crawled in a little after three this morning. I get her and her sister up for school so the alarm sounded at six-twenty five after a bit of a restless night myself.
She has been doing pretty well, in general, but if things are getting to her, she escalates quickly and her defiance flares. Over the last couple weeks, it's been kind of hit and miss with her, but in general we have kept things manageable. I know part of her problem is change, she does not deal well with any change, and big ones can really mess her up.
The big change a week ago was my wife getting moved from nights to days. Week nights it's just me and the girls, and we have our routine pretty well set. But now, my wife, the girls grandma, is home shortly after they get home from school. It's been a difficult transition for both girls, my wife, and somewhat for myself.
Another pending change is the school, which is in a hybrid mode, is closing up at the end of the month until after New Years. It's an extended Christmas vacation with some distance learning involved, and neither of the girls are looking forward to it. The younger, however, is most distraught because she will be separated from her friends and really loves school.
The biggest problem, however, is with one of her instructors. Since she has some learning challenges and an IEP, she goes to school all week. If she was in full stream classes full time, she would do distance learning on Monday and Tuesday, have Wednesday as catch up day, then attend regular classes on Thursday and Friday. Instead, she attends advisory class on Monday through Wednesday so she can get extra help.
Things were working fine until she was having a bad day and things escalated and she ended up with a day of in-school suspension. She wasn't happy, but took the consequences and then moved on. Her advisory teacher's para, however seems to be knit picking over little things that were never a problem before.
Most of the stuff going on is all blown out of proportion, like her spending time on her phone or chatting on her school tablet with a friend while they work on homework together. She is getting A's and B's, but they continue to say she's not doing any work. Worst of all, they don't address it to her more than to mention it. After which, my daughter tells them they can look to see that she's working with her friend on homework, or she's done already.
To make it even worse, instead of handling the situation right then and there, the advisory teacher will email me and tell me what's going on, then want me to talk to my daughter about it after school. Since it usually comes up in the mornings, it's hours after the fact, and not really my problem anyway. I addressed this issue to the advisory teacher and told her flat out, if you want to gain any respect from this girl, you have to enforce the rules and policies, not email me to tattle on her and get her into trouble at home.
But, it has done no good, and I do talk to her after school and try and be open and trusting. She has not shown me she is behind in anything and I have no reason not to believe her . But, the damage is still done. She attends school all day and then comes home to be lectured on things that happened hours before. It's got her on edge, and it's not doing any good; it may be doing more damage.
I've decided I'm not going to address anything school related with her unless it's something serious, that will take a lot of pressure off my daughter. But, the emails will still continue to flow in, sometimes three or four a day. Do I reverse the situation and replay back about little issues going on at home and ask the teacher to talk to her about it the next day? I doubt she would get the hint. I even thought about acting like I take her numerous daily emails as flirting and make a pass at her, maybe then she will back off? I just don't know. I mean after coming right out and telling her face to face, she needs to impose the school and class rules at the time, not email them to me, I wonder if anything will get through to her. Do you think if I attach a scantily clad, provocative photo of myself she'll stop?
|Since I've been doing so well at getting in here and writing a bit these past few days, I thought I would get a short entry in yet tonight. However, it's not going to show up as being written tonight since it's already the next morning. Confusing, right? Here's a little simpler explanation, I wanted to make an entry on Wednesday, but by the time I got in here, it's 1:22 Thursday morning.
I would have made it if things hadn't gone bat-s***-crazy this evening. That' the problem, you see. Things finally get settled down and I find myself with time to enjoy in here, usually after everyone is asleep. But, child problems flared this evening, an by the time things had settled, the smoke had cleared, and I had everyone off to bed, it was pushing midnight.
Sure, I suppose I could have done a quick entry, but I was stressed and would not have been able to focus. Instead I did some research and checked things out so we can get this problem taken care of; I hope we can get it settled and come to terms we can all accept.
Lets see, anything else worth writing about? Yes, I did have a productive day, not writing productive, but productive just the same. My wife's new phone arrived today, so we got her all set up and ready to go. She's not the most tech savvy, but she did pretty good. The hard part for her is going to be figuring out how everything works on her new phone, it's a lot different than her old one.
Another task I set out to do today was some baking. No, I didn't get baked, I did some baking; food items, in the oven. See, I like rye bread; I know it's not for everyone, but I like it. The problem is, I'm the only one in the house that does. So, if I purchase a loaf, I have to eat way more than I want, faster than I would like, to keep it from going bad.
Also, the stores in our area do not carry a selection of rye bread, no they are doing well to have one kind available. I also think they do not sell much of it, so I have to get what ever kind they have, usually not the best kind, and it's often old by the time I get it. In fact, the last loaf was dry and the crust was so tough I had trouble biting through it. I'm sure it's also packed with way too many preservatives for as long is it has for a sell by date.
Anyway, I'm kind of rambling on now, another problem of staying up and writing too late. So, the last time I went shopping, I picked up the items I needed to make my own rye bread. Today, I had the time so I set about creating two loaves of fresh baked and so much better than store bought rye bread, that my wife even liked it. Both daughters tried it, one was disgusted, the other said she would eat it if she had too, but it wasn't her first choice for bread.
Well, that's enough for tonight. Sleep well.