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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. 
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| I spent quite a bit of the day researching computers, comparing prices, and trying to decide what would be the best new computer for us. I also researched different brands, to determine which would be the most reliable. Researching the computers wasn't bad, most of the information is pretty basic, and all I needed to know was what operating system, how much memory, and how large of a drive we need to meet our needs. Windows has been our operating system for many years, so that was easy to decide. Since we don't do much for gaming, memory wasn't very difficult to figure out. Currently, 4 Gb would be enough, but since memory needs tend to increase with time, more would be better, so 8 Gb should take care of our needs for quite a while. Even so, wanted our new computer to be capable of at least a minimal memory upgrade. Finally, what kind of drive and how large would we need? Again, the question was easy to resolve. Our current compute 7 or 8 year old netbook has 250 Gb, and we still have ample room. Although I've never had a problem with a mechanical hard drive, I have heard of other's who have. Also, they are a bit slower and more prone to damage than a solid state drive, even though they offer a lot more storage room. I decided to go with solid state and about the same as our netbook. I don't keep a lot on the computer, since we have 1Tb available through our Microsoft account as well as unlimited photo storage with our Prime membership. Which brand proved to be more difficult. It seems like every reference and review I looked at had a different opinion. Now, a person would think that they would research and rate based on similar data; not the case at all. Everyone seems to have different opinions about which make is the most reliable, with much of the data based on how innovative they are, not how dependable. Even so, I narrowed my list down to three makes, HP, Dell, and Lenova. HP and Dell kind of went neck to neck as which was better, but Lenova rated very close to both, and in a couple of sites, better. Price was also a determining factor, and from my online research, HP ranked a bit less expensive than Dell in similar machines. I also checked into places to purchase that offered the best deals, and again HP was the most affordable. Our local Best Buy had a sale on quite a few computers, and in the end, they seemed to be the best place for a purchase. With my information in hand, I headed over to Best Buy to make my purchase. One of the employees was right there to help out, and I provided him with my list and desired computer. He took me over to see it and then showed me another very similar, but a bit more expensive. The higher priced machine had a CD drive, but it cost almost a hundred more. I told him I wanted to think about it a bit and browse, so he left me to my looking and thinking. I looked around at the types of computer we had decided on, and found a Dell that was similar to the HP I was interested in, but over a hundred dollars cheaper. I asked another associate about it, and he said that a customer had been in the process of purchasing the Dell and wanted some software installed. They hadn't even completely unpacked the machine when he changed his mind, so they had an opened box but unused computer. They had run out of inventory on this Dell, except for the one opened box, so it ended up getting marked down even though it wasn't originally in the sale. It was just the machine I had wanted, but opted for the HP because it listed for almost 200 dollars more. It didn't have the CD drive either, but the associate provided me with an external Dell CD drive for 40 bucks. I took it, the Dell all-in-one with wireless mouse and keypad, as well as an extended 2 year warranty for the same price, give or take a little, as the HP with CD drive the other guy tried to get me to purchase. I payed, brought it home and proceeded to set up. All in all, the setup went quickly, and even better, very easily. Even so, I was up till midnight putting things on, setting up apps, and transferring data. The longest part was getting the info from my netbook into the clouds, especially the music. I ended up going to bed while OneDrive loaded. This morning I turned on my Dell and looked at OneDrive, it was complete. I downloaded a very large audio file, a Bible study about an hour long, in just a couple seconds... Wow. It's not even been a full 24 hours, but I'm in love with this new computer. One cable, the power cord, so it's very portable as far as ease of moving, it's not real heavy, even though it has a huge touch screen (both my wife and I agreed, it's about the size of the TV screens we watched in the sixties), and the sound is terrific for built in speakers. |
| It's been a few days since I've written anything, so time to update. First, I have been able to have a good talk with my daughter over her incident at school this week. She seems sincere and I'm hoping we can continue to communicate and keep things moving in a positive direction. She's 12 now, and typical of her age, she is curious about and questioning many things. Since she has not had a typical upbringing, she tends to keep things to herself and has a lot of difficulty talking about things. She is also prone to follow other's without question, especially when it aligns with her questions and curiosities.After our talk, however, I think we will be able to discuss more, and I'm hoping she can begin to feel more secure in trusting and coming to me with these questions and curiosities. Second, I did not stay smoke free. I haven't given up on quitting and want to keep moving towards this goal. I'm currently thinking about a new start day in the very near future. I am also focusing on smoking less, and cutting back a bit more over the next couple days. This aligns with the information in the booklet given to me by the doctor, and I'm hoping it will help me along this path. One thing it says I should do before my quit day is to cut back to an amount I am comfortable with, but less than I normally smoke, for a few days. Another thing is states is that it helps to succeed by doing a few mini-quits. So, for the next few days, it's cut back a bit, and then I'll follow their advise and try a mini-quit. I made one day this past week, so I'm looking at trying two days this week. Of course, if the two days go well, I will go for another, and another, so the mini-quit may be the final quit. If not, I'll cut back even more after the mini-quit and in a couple days, do another mini-quit, shooting for at least one more day than the previous. If I can do three to four days with a mini-quit, I should be able to keep going without any more difficulty, or at least, that's what the booklet states. Finally, my wife and I did a bit of window shopping for a new computer. Her desktop computer was ten years old, maybe more, and my laptop at least two years older than that. Her desktop crashed, the processor burned when the fan quit. My laptop still works, but the battery is shot and it's very slow, out of memory and just plain wore out. Currently, we are using a net-book I purchased before I started working as a security guard, so about eight years old, and like my laptop, out of memory. It's definitely time to get a new computer, and we looked at some yesterday that are on sale this week. Not the fastest or highest memory computers, thy are way out of our price range, but they should be adequate for our needs. The plan is, one laptop and one desktop, if we can afford them. |
| In a couple hours I take the girls in for their weekly therapy appointments. Last week we did updates on treatment plans and both had advanced and we updated their plans accordingly. The youngest had actually met a few of her goals and we were able to mark them off as completed. Today I'll have to speak with her therapist and inform her that we were duped, she has not achieved them, she just played the part very well. But, with the passing of time, she has shown that she has not held the position she had shown, her actions and disposition over the last week have not shown any improvement at all. In fact, she has started some new behaviors, some very negative ones. This is a pretty big let down, but hopefully we can get her back on track again. |
| I was out and about doing some shopping for dinner tonight and stopped by the liquor store for some beer, since both my wife and I enjoy relaxing with a can or two in the evenings. Because I also enjoy a nice bourbon every now and again, I decided to browse the bourbon isle thinking of getting a bottle of Wild Turkey or Jim Beam, both of which my wife and I enjoy, although she prefers a good brandy more. As I looked over the selection, like a kid in a candy store, I seen Jim Beam Double Barrel Bourbon. I have tried and like Black Label a bit more than the original Beam, so I thought this would be good. It's aged just as the original, then re-barreled and aged a second time, which to my thinking would add a lot of extra flavor and undertones. The price wasn't bad, not more than a five spot more than regular Beam or Turkey which run the same, so I grabbed a bottle and proceeded to the checkout. I left and picked up the needed items for dinner, then drove home and unloaded the pick-up, put everything away, and admired the bottle of bourbon. It's a bit early for me, but heck, one shot isn't going to topple the balance of nature... I opened the bottled and poured a light shot into a shot glass and let it breath for a few minutes, then lifted the glass to my face and let the aroma waft into my eager olfactory senses. Wonderful! The color was a bit darker and looked as delightful as the lingering aroma. I gently put the edge of the small glass to my impatiently waiting lips and sipped; definitely a sipping whiskey. The first taste was delightful! The bourbon had a great taste as it flowed over my tongue, leaving a bouquet of secondary flavors as it passed down my throat. The after taste was terrific, so many flavors its difficult to describe, with a lingering sense of slight sweetness in it's wake. I took a second sip and it was just as wonderful. A swallow of water to chase it down and rinse my tongue off, then a third small sip, to enjoy the whole experience again. That left only a small sip left, which I didn't hesitate to devour, rinsed my shot glass out and then went out to smoke a cigarette. About half way through the cigarette, the effects hit, and wow, that's some potent stuff. It kind of sneaks up while your unaware and lets you know, it's aged in double barrels and packs as much of a kick as my old double barrel shotgun. |
| Wednesday will be my first day smoke free. The date is set to begin this new journey on a busy day to help make the transition, I also have a lot of support and a few items, gum and nicotine patches, to take the edge off. I quit many years back and went for a few years without smoking, but then a new job with a lot of stress had me back into the habit, which has only gotten worse with time. I restarted with just an occasional cigar to relax with. A few months passed and it became a daily thing, but still only a few cigars a day. Next it was a change to a pipe, with a pouch of tobacco lasting about five days, but that increased slowly as well. Finally, it was just more convenient to smoke cigarettes, and I am currently at about a quarter to a half a pack a day, depending on the day. A few months ago, I was down with a bad cold, or something, and it just wasn't possible to smoke without triggering a coughing fit, so I decided it was a good time to give the smokes up. Cold turkey had worked in the past, and for a couple of weeks I did stay tobacco free, but I was getting so grumpy my family didn't like to be around me; hell, I didn't like being around me either. I went back to smoking with the thought of waiting until school started. This would give he kids a break from me, and for me, be a bit less stressful. I also went in and talked to my doctor about quitting, and received some information on quitting as well as some possible ideas for making it easier and avoiding the grumpy stage. I was set, had picked a date, the second week of school; the first week is always hectic. Also, knowing I could be a bit grumpy yet, I wanted to wait until after my daughters birthday; nobody likes a grump on their birthday. A couple of weeks ago, I came down with a cold, or whatever it is that's been plaguing me for almost a year now. Once again, smoking only made it worse, so it seemed like a good time to quite. Also, I visited the clinic for the illness and the doctor I seen told me it was better to stop right then instead of waiting for the date I had set. Of course this was based on the illness and she didn't consider what my family doctor had insisted was needed. Me to be ready, have a set day, and have the items she recommended on hand. I did stop at the pharmacy for my prescribed medications and picked up the nicotine patches and some gum. I had not smoked that day or the day before as a result of the illness, but I wasn't ready, not really. The kids hadn't started school yet, there was some stressful stuff going on, and I wasn't able to get much sleep. As soon as I lie down, the congestion would increase, I would have coughing fits, and end up back in the living room trying to sleep sitting up. This only added to the stress and I went back to the smokes after just a few days. But, I was still focused on quitting on the day I had set. I've focused on that ever since, letting myself smoke as I desire, but thinking a lot about each and every smoke. Why was I smoking? Was I enjoying it? Did I like the way it messed up my taste and made me feel? Last, I asked myself if it helped with the stress; I'm still asking these questions and the answer in short, "No." Of course, the nicotine does help in a small degree, but mostly it's the withdrawal symptoms that I don't like, almost as much as I'm beginning to not like smoking. So, as the smoke free day approaches, I find myself ready and wanting to end this madness. I already know, from the few days I used them, that the patch and the gum help a lot, Now, with the proper frame of mind, lots of family support, medical support if I need it, and something to take the edge off and keep me from getting the grumpies, I'm ready to start feeling better, breathing better, and end the madness that is smoking. |
| Three days ago I blogged about being sick and tired of being, well, sick and tired. I seem to keep getting the same thing, over and over, since last December. It hits and I'm congested, have trouble breathing, cough, fever, and just feel run down. Then I'm off to the doctor, get tests, give blood, and get put on antibiotics for some kind of infection. A month goes by where I'm feeling better and think it's over, then the cough starts, then the sinuses go, and next thing I know, I feel like three day old road-kill. So, the last time I was in, the same thing, but with allergy meds added to the mix, It didn't help and I was planning on going in again if not better by tomorrow. Well, I'm glad to say, I do feel better, but its a slow process of getting completely over this. The phlegm has broken loose and I haven't had a fever for a few days. I still get feeling mighty tired, but I'm getting better. I spent the weekend doing some research on what may help speed up this recovery and prevent another onslaught of the dreaded "crud". Yes, I know, self treatment and self diagnosis aren't the best, but I have done well over the years trying various treatments for things from an old, and well worn book I came across a couple decades ago, called "The Green Pharmacy". With this and a lot of information from the net, I have added some natural products to my daily intake to help boos my immune system and balance out my vitamins and minerals. See, nothing drastic or dangerous, just compensating for a lot of added stress that started a year ago, and is likely the culprit behind a lot of my problems. So, hopefully, I will recover even faster and soon be feeling like my old self and maybe, just maybe, I won't have another case of the crud for a long, long time. |
| It's been a few days and still not feeling much better. This is going on the third week now and maybe time to return to the doctor, although I don't know what else they can do. I was in a week and a half ago, had a bunch of stuff done and never did get an actual answer to what I have, but at least I got some answers to what it's not. I did have an elevated white count so they prescribed antibiotics, but they didn't do anything except mess up my stomach. I also got a nebulizer to help clear up the flem and improve my breathing, which helps a little. Finally, some pills for the constant coughing, that do nothing. I'll give it the weekend, and if by Monday, there's no improvement, then it's back to the clinic. |
| It's been a couple days, very busy ones here. Yesterday was spent setting up my older daughters new bed. It's designed like a bunk bed, but has a full size bed on top and a desk beneath it. I shouldn't say new, it's new to us, which means no instructions and a bit of a challenge. We purchased new hardware for it, since most of the old screws had stripped heads, and with her help had is set up relatively quickly. Of course, there was a lot of last minute getting things ready for school, their first day was today. There was a lot of excitement from both of them, eager to be back at school, which is nice. I remember dreading the day school started and, for that matter, going. My youngest daughter had gotten a hamster about a week ago and had really become attached to Popcorn, her hamster. Yesterday afternoon, she lifted up the house in the little critter's cage and found Popcorn had left us. We have no idea how old Popcorn was, or if anything had resulted in her passing. Nothing new had taken place except her cage had been cleaned, and unknowing, my daughter had used the hand soap in the bathroom instead of dish soap. Also, we were in the room next door moving stuff and setting up the new bed, cleaning and vacuuming. Since I was already close, I did vacuum in Popcorns room as well. I don't know if she was accustomed to the noise and hustle and bustle or if that may have contributed. Not that it mattered, my daughter was devastated. With her history and past, she assumed she did something wrong and was sure she was in trouble and would not get another animal for a long time. Of course, I talked with her, we discussed anything that may have stressed Popcorn, all the while re-assuring her that she was not to blame and we just needed to consider anything that may have contributed, so that we could learn from them for the future. I also added that she could get a new hamster, and because we didn't know the history of the cage and items in it, a new habitat. My older daughter, so she wouldn't feel left out, was also told she could get a hamster and new habitat. My wife drove them up to the pet store, and again, disappointment. Closed for the holiday. I looked online for habitats so they would be ready to get their new pets today, but the store only had one within our price margin. I reassured them we would work it out. Today, they headed off to school, I did a bit of cleaning and vacuumed their rooms knowing they would have new pets in them tonight. After, I did a bit more around the house, then looked online for another pet supply store. Found! I headed over and looked at the starter habitats. They were nice, but lets say, "lacketh" a bit. For another ten bucks I could get a nicer habitat. I picked the nicer for both of them, picked out a little wooden house for each cage, and a couple of stuffed toys for our dog. I was able o assemble both cages, put bedding, food, and water in them, and have them ready for their new inhabitants before the girls got home from school. My wife took them to the pet store, and now, they are home and I have to go meet the two newest members of our family, DJ Pizza and Lunna. |
| Here it is, the last day of August and here I am, back into my blog; it's been a long time. In fact, it's been many months since I've even been back into the site. So much going on, and so little time; not just life going on, but a complete new life for me and my wife. I started journalizing this life change, or would it be this completely new life, last year. Now, as I make a new, fresh start here, I wonder, should I continue to log all that has taken place? All that is still taking place? I think not. I would rather focus on moving forward and restrain from looking back. Not that it was a bad journey getting here; no, it was a journey, both filled with good and bad and a lot of change. Perhaps some day I will sit down and write about how my wife and I ended our lives, transitioning from it to our new life within a mater of a few weeks. For now, however, it's better to look at each new day and begin afresh here, with my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations that each new day presents. |
| How do you write something meaningful in twenty-five words or less? At first, it doesn't sound very difficult, but after giving it a try for the last few weeks, I have found it to be a nice challenge. I'm speaking of the contest here on WdC called, of course, Twenty-Five Words or Less. I'm sorry to say, the contest is now closed, but for the last three weeks, I have participated and enjoyed the challenge. It wasn't just the idea of winning something, although it's always nice to get some kind of recognition for writing something. In fact, when I first found it, it wasn't any kind of fancy payout, just a point system based upon a person's entry, and once you accumulated enough points, you would win a merit badge. Having been suffering from writers block and little time to chip through it, I thought this may be the way to go. I mean, with such a short entry, I could focus my writing on an idea that could be drafted, edited, and submitted rather quickly. It provided the motivation to get some ideas and work with them without being too demanding of my limited time. I know little of hosting activities and contests on the site, but I imagine it takes quite a lot of time and effort. With only one person doing all of this, I can understand why the contest came to an end. I had thought about offering to help out, to pick up some of the workload, but with barely enough time to write for the contest, I know I wouldn't be able to help much. Even so, it saddens me to see it end. Not just because I enjoyed it, although that's part of it too, but because it was very unique in getting a person to write in few words instead of many. I'm thankful I had the opportunity to participate for a few weeks and surprising as it sounds, learned a bit about the art of expression. I already knew that good writing paints a picture with words, but Twenty-Five Words or Less taught me to create a picture with just a few crayons. |
| It's been over a week without an entry here, so time to write something; but what? It's the same old story at work and nothing I really want to write about. On the personal side, life's been interrupted by the problems at work, so not much there to write about. That means it's time to look through some of the writing prompts provided by WdC and pick one. Today I found one that states: "A key is missing from your keyboard." I went through a few prompts but this one stuck out because there is a key missing and it got me thinking about my trusty old laptop with the missing key and how it's performed over the years. Purchased back in 2010 it was fast and up to date, a real treat from my previous computer. It not only was faster, had more storage space, and the latest Widows Operating system, it was portable and it went many places, a real dream come true for me. The first thing to go was the power supply, but I found another online and soon was back to using my trusty computer. Shortly after, however, the battery began to degrade and soon I found that unless I had a plug in, I wasn't going to be taking my laptop with anymore. Not a big problem, since I could usually find a place to plug it in. The next thing to go was the keyboard. It worked fine, but the print had worn off most of the keys. Luckily, I do know how to type without looking and pecking at the keys, so I was still in business, but it was a bit of a nuisance. Then, I spilled a cup of coffee on the keyboard. I quickly pulled the plug from the side and removed the battery, hoping for the best and fearing the worst. I did my best to remove all the liquid and dry the computer. Once I was sure it was dry, I put the battery back in and restarted it. It worked! Well, it kind of worked. The computer was fine but the keyboard didn't function properly. Some of the keys stuck, others just didn't work. In desperation I researched removing and cleaning the keyboard. Removing it wasn't too difficult, but removing keys and cleaning the surface under them was quite a difficult task, but in time I had it clean and reassembled. I reinstalled the keyboard and found I no longer had any keys sticking, but some still did not work. Being a writer, this meant the computer was about worthless now. Not being able to afford to replace it even though it was now four years old and a bit outdated, I found a replacement keyboard online and ordered it. Soon I was back in business and happy as a clam on Sunday. Doesn't make any sense, but it sounded good. Of course, by this time, the old laptop was outdated and running pretty slow, but it served my needs just fine and I had no complaints. However, after a few years the new keyboard began to show signs of wear, letters were fading, and the computer in general just did not function as it should. The biggest problem was the Windows System installed had become outdated, been logged down with years of updates and additions. I should also mention that Microsoft no longer supported this version so it was time to move on. But, money was tight and I made do until one day I got a notice that I could upgrade to Windows 10. My operating system was capable of the update, but just barely. I figured I had nothing to loose, and soon was surprised to see my old laptop given a second life. Not as fast and powerful as a new computer, but fast and powerful enough for my needs, I thought my problems were over for a few more years. But, soon my system had a few updates and things began to work slower and slower. I found I had to remove programs I seldom used to make more room for other things, I also found myself waiting for web-pages to load and downloads to complete. Many of the keys showed a lot of wear and some had completely lost their letters. Then, one day while typing away, I reached my little finger up to the back-space key and when I pressed, it came right off. I know, not that important of a key to lose, right? Wrong. I never realized how often I used that key until it was gone. Like I mentioned, I do know how to type, and do pretty well, but am no speed typist. My biggest problem is my fingers and my train of thought don't type at the same speed. This results in typos, and the need to go back and make corrections. I had gotten so used to just tapping a key with my little finger and correcting typos, I never even gave any thought to it until the key fell off and I couldn't back-space without stopping and placing my finger in the very small little rubber nib that pokes up through the circuit board that the key once sat upon. I have adapted to the keyboard and do pretty well, but the little nib is difficult to hit without stopping, so it has slowed me down. Now, a few years into Windows 10, my system has also slowed down, I find I can't utilize any of the fancy props that came with the operating system, and am once more looking at having to replace my trusted friend and company. Can a computer be a friend and companion? I say yes, we have written many items together, done lots of research, kept in touch with friends and family, and completed many tasks for work. Being my first laptop, I suppose there will always be a special place in my heart for this machine. But even so, I know it's time to move on; in fact, if this old laptop could talk, I'm sure it would tell me the same, "We've shared a lot and had our time, but now you must move on." |
| I was scrolling through some prompts, looking for something to write in my blog about; this was an idea I had some time back for days when I just could think of anything to blog about. I came across the following prompt, and remembered just such an incident. The dog jumps out the window of a moving car and... Of course, there are many ways this story could progress, but since I had just such an experience, why not write about that. The dog was Sade, a down on her luck miniature poodle who had belonged to my ex-wife. Sade had belonged to a teenage girl who dotted on her and gave her a good home --- most of the time. Her brother was a brat and loved to torture the poor dog. But, as long as Sade's girl was around, she was protected and life was pretty good. When the girl wasn't home, however, all sorts of evil deeds befell the poor poodle. When the teen girl entered college, she was not around to protect poor Sade, and the girls mom feared that Sade would end up severely injured or even dead, so she looked for a new home for Sade. My ex didn't treat Sade bad, but didn't really go out of her way to make her life grand, either. Sade just kind of existed and did her own thing, which often was misbehaving and in her own little dog way, rebelling. She wasn't happy with her new life, had been abused in her old life, and abandoned by the only person who had ever shown her love. I already had a dog, a beautiful Golden Retriever, and not looking for another animal. I was raising two of our three teenage children, and trying to restart my life after the divorce. But, when my ex explained to me that she was moving into an apartment and couldn't take Sade with her, so she was going to have her brother take the poor thing out and shoot her, I had to intervene; I know had two dogs to go with the two teens. Sade needed attention, liked to misbehave, and had her own negative attitude, but with a little time and effort, she adjusted. She was never a good dog for us, but she did drop the bad attitude and didn't cause any real problems. With time, she accepted us as family, just as we accepted her. The kids gave her a nickname that fit her profile, Sade was the "Goat Dog". She did look quite a bit like a little goat, walked like a goat (I believe she had suffered some damage to her legs from previous abuse), climbed on things like a goat, and got into things like a goat. Sade could manage to get up on counters and tables, no problem, although we never discovered how. I was aware of her past and tended to be more lenient with her doing these things than I probably should have, but knowing how abused she had been and how close she had come to being put down, I couldn't do more than scold her and try my best to teach her a few good manners. All in all, we had a good relationship and Sade would live out her life in a loving family. Now, my Golden Retriever and I were real close, even though she was still a puppy. We had a wonderful bond right from the first and we went everyplace together, if it was possible. Of course, Sade didn't understand any of this, and wanted to tag along as often as she could. Sometimes it was practical, so she would have to stay home with the kids, which worked out fine. but, if she was left home alone, she was guaranteed to cause some problem or another. She just refused to get left behind and insisted she be included in everything. It was on one of these times when my dog and I were going for a drive, I forget the details. Sade would have been home alone, unhappy, and gotten in to mischief, and since it was a nice day, it would do her good to get out for a while with us. It was spring time and very warm out. My dog loved having the window down so she could put her head out and feel the wind in her fur. Of course, I never put the window down far enough she could jump out, even though she was very well behaved and likely would never try anyway. My thoughts were, why take the risk. But with the window down halfway, it was enough for a Goat Dog to fit through. I had not even thought about Sade jumping out, mostly because she wasn't much of a jumper and could barely see out the window when she stood on the seat, with her front paws on the armrest. I wasn't thinking about how this same dog could find her way onto tables and counters, defying the laws of physics. One minute were were driving down the highway with Sade standing and looking out the glass while Klarissa, my dog, had her head out the window. Driving fifty-five miles an hour was a bit too much wind for Klarissa, so she sat down next to Sade and before I could put the window up, Sade had managed to launch right out the half open gap. I didn't see how she managed to get from her seat to the open top fo the window, but I did see her dropping towards the pavement going by at fifty-five miles per hour and my heart stopped as I pictured in my mind the devastation she was about to endure. Without hesitation or actually even conscience thought, I lunged towards the passenger side while controlling the car with my left hand. I reached out and down even as Sade vanished from my view and felt my fingers against her curly, goat-like fur. I closed my hand and gripped tightly to the little fur bundle as I slowed the vehicle down and steered towards the shoulder. Once off the driving lane I stopped the car and retrieved Sade through the now fully open window of my Grand Marque. She had been caught by the scruff of her neck and had suffered no injury, but her back feet hung mere inches from the pavement. She had come within less than a second of having her little life ripped and shattered from her small body. Even so, she didn't seem to really care. As I placed her on the seat beside me I could feel the trembling of my hands over the knowledge of how close she had come. Sade on the other hand, just waged her stubbed off tail and seemed to think this had been a fun adventure. With the window rolled up far enough Sade could not possibly fit through, we returned home. Sade lived for years to come, even though she was already getting old when she came into my life. She even found a wonderful gal to dot on her once again when I met my present wife and we all lived as happy as a Goat Dog can be. |
| It's a good thing this isn't a daily journal, but even so, I do need to do better at getting in here and writing. Eleven days... sheesh! I found a wonderful surprise when I logged in today, one of my posts was tagged in the March 2018 Blogging Bliss Newsletter. It's always nice to get a little recognition; just wish that post would have had better results. At the time, I had just done a corrective action for attendance problems and was to review it with the person at the end of the month. She didn't make it that long and has again called in less than twenty-four hours to say she can't make it. I tried to help her find a solution, since it was just a blown tire, but everything suggested was shot down. Then she let me know she could borrow a vehicle to go get a tire, but wouldn't be back in time and have it on the vehicle in time to make it to her afternoon shift. I bit back my question, "If you can borrow a vehicle, why do you have to miss work?" I already knew the answer, she didn't have to miss work, she chose to miss. The verbal warning was nil, and I would have to take the next step, a written warning. I contacted my boss to inform him we need to look for someone to possibly fill her position and that if she failed to correct the problem, I wanted to terminate her. Today, I wrote up a written warning, and on Wednesday I will go over it with her and inform her that the problem ends now or she's out of a job. It tends to take quite a while to find someone, so I'm looking at the possibility of not having much for time off until the position is filled. So much for having more time to write and spend in WdC. But, we do what we have to, even when it's the unpleasant things like reprimanding and terminating someone or having to give up my days off to cover shifts. Things will work out with time and I still intend to do my best at getting here as often as I can. |
| It's been a pretty good week, but a busy one. I was off on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and will be returning to work later this afternoon. Even with the three days off, I wasn't sure if I would be off or filling in for our problem child. If you haven't read anything on this yet, our problem child is a new hire who does a great job, but has a real problem with attendance. It has gotten so bad that I had to do a corrective action, and had planned on going over it with her last Thursday, but she called in and that plan fell by the roadside. Instead, I spent Monday afternoon writing up the document and then went in to work and went over it with her, so much for being a day off. After, however, I salvaged a bit of the remaining day and took my wife out for dinner and then some shopping. Tuesday was another messed up day, but not work related. Both my wife and I had to make a two hour drive to take care of some personal business, nothing enjoyable at all. But, it was nice to get it done and over with finally, a little less stress to deal with now, and just a few loose ends to tie up and that whole situation will be done and over. Being on the road pretty early and then spending an hour or so in conference before heading back home meant we were up way to early for a day off. As I mentioned, it was also very stressful, but everything went well and soon enough we were heading back home. Since we both just wanted to get home, we didn't stop for anything other than gasoline and a breakfast burrito on the return home. Then, after getting back home, we settled in and took a nice long nap. The last month has been exhausting having to fill in at least once or twice a week for our problem child, the stress of that, as well as the stress of the situation we had just taken care of. We slept deep and hard, getting some well deserved rest. Yesterday we just kind of sloughed off most of the day, enjoying the one day off together with nothing going on. It was nice and relaxing, no problems at work, and nothing interrupting or day. I'm hopeful that maybe our problem child responded well to the corrective action and that situation is now under control. Of course, she does have a lot going on and does still need some days off, but nothing we can't handle and plan around; I'm still a bit skeptical and waiting for her to prove me wrong. All in all, not a three days off, not very relaxing, but productive and hopefully paved the way to having our time off undisturbed and open to enjoyable activities. |
| It's been quite a week, but then it's been quite a month, for that matter. I wish I could say that in a different context, indicating it's been a good month and an especially good week. But, in my case, it's just the opposite. I am hopeful that things will get better, but I'm also experienced enough to know they may get much worse first. Time will tell. Despite the problems of the last month and especially this last week, I did mange to get quite a bit of time spent in WdC. I'm especially happy with all the reviews I've done. There was a bit of embarrassment with some I wrote on Wednesday, thinking they were included in a Flash Reviewing Event for the Power Reviewers Group, when in fact, the event was the day before. Oh well, what can I say, it's been the kind of week that I haven't even been sure what day it is. I'm happy to announce that I have gotten my days figured out, today is Friday. For most, the last day of work and the for bearer of the weekend. Not the case here, it's the last day of my weekend, so to speak, and tomorrow it's back to work. Of course, with things going the way they are at work, I never seem to know if I'm working a particular day, except for the ones I'm scheduled for. Days off have been a rarity and sporadic at best. My scheduled time off is about as decisive as the weather forecasts! I'm scheduled to be off Monday through Wednesday next week, but already I see I'll have to go in for a while on Monday for some unpleasant business, Tuesday I'll be in court -- no I haven't been naughty, but Wednesday should be a relaxing day. Hopefully I can get in here for a spell then. |
| Well, I know I wasn't functioning at full capacity yesterday, too stressed and a lot of unpleasant work to do. It even showed up in WdC, when I took a break from work and came in here to relax. I first looked over the latest Newsfeeds, then went to my email. I seen the Power Reviewers has 12 hour flash review event going on, so I began browsing for items and did three reviews before the deadline. Yea me! Today when I logged in, I again looked at the Newsfeeds and then went to my email. I still had yesterdays items in there and looked through both the new and the old, only now realizing that the 12 your Power Review event was on Tuesday not Wednesday. Not that it's bad that I got my dates messed up as far as the reviews, but to not even know what day it is? My lovely wife, Rhonda, who is also my supervisory assistant and fellow worker also noticed how burned out I'm getting from all the problems at work over the last month. She was scheduled to work this afternoon, me this evening. Of course, when I covered a shift for another worker on Tuesday, she had agreed to work my shift tonight. But her attendance is terrible, most of the current problems at work, and as expected, she text me that she wasn't going to be able to work today. When I told Rhonda, she informed me that I am not working this evening, she will cover the shift; I am on direct orders from her to enjoy my day, relax, and not do anything work related. I was a bit heated, since this isn't the first time she's agreed to switch a shift and then called in and couldn't work the shift she had agreed to pick up, so I text her back and informed her that she needed to decide if she wants the job or the time off. I also let her know that if she's not able to work, I would have no other option than to cover for her, but there would be even more corrective actions when she returns (I'm the site supervisor, not the best co-worker to screw over on top of her excessive absences). I still don't know if she will show up this evening or not, she did reply and said if she's able to, she will work today. But, that is not a real answer, so Rhonda may be pulling a double so I can get at least one day off this week, or she may be home around six this evening so we can spent a little more time together. Either way, I'm thankful for the break and a chance to clear my head a bit. |
| My last entry was a short story written from a prompt here on Writing.Com, since I couldn't think of anything else to write about. Not that I don't have anything to write about; I have plenty. It's just that it's the same problem still going on, and who wants to read, over and over, about my problem. Hell, for that matter, I don't want to waste my time writing over and over about it. But, the problem continues on, and if anything, is getting worse. Personally, it's a real pain in my backside because it takes away my time off and often with very little notice. It's created a problem for me to even think about having any activities or going anyplace on my days off without fear of having to cancel, drop everything, and run into work. Yes, the problem, even though I mentioned it a time or two before is a new hire who just cannot work her scheduled shift and tends to call in anywhere from a couple days to a couple hours to say, "I can't make it." For me, it's more than just the time I end up having to work for her. I'm the supervisor and have a professional liability with her absences as well. Even though I try to be a nice guy and try to make things nice and smooth for everyone, I also have to interfere with other's time off if I can't cover her shift. In short, her position exists only so my wife and I can have our days off together, and for the last month, that hasn't happened. Considering this new hire has only been with us for six weeks, you can understand the problem. I find myself dreading any information coming over my phone, both calls and texts, suspecting that she's letting me know once again, she can't work. It's also making more paperwork for me updating schedules and letting everyone involved, the corporate office and the store we work at, updated to the constant changes. I just recently talked with her and informed her that this has to stop. In fact, it was just last week when she sent a text requesting the day off. So how did it go? Well, she worked Monday, called in Tuesday, today, and just a short time ago, text me to inform me she won't be able to work tomorrow. My day has been spent finding someone to cover her shift, updating schedules, and contacting the corporate office with the problem. I had hoped to work on a poem I'm trying to write, but the only writing I've done so fare today is emails with the office, texts with the person needing yet more time off, and filling out corrective action forms. If she does work tomorrow so I get one of my days off, I will have to go into work anyway to give her the corrective action, if she doesn't make it to work... well then I'll be working her shift and waiting for her to return so I can present the corrective action. I have reached the point that I have requested permission to terminate if she continues to take time off, and that is the most unpleasant part of my job. |
| Written to one of WdC's writing prompts, "As the Frisbee left his hand, he knew ..." Jimmy, his mom, and his dad, lived in a small two bedroom house. It was small, just a kitchen and a living room that doubled as the dining room. His parents bedroom was right off the living room, there was a small bathroom off the kitchen, and Jimmy's bedroom had formerly been a fair sized pantry off the kitchen and right next to his parents bedroom. The house was old, the walls thin, and not much for a yard, just a bit of patchy grass behind the bedrooms. His family has just moved to the small, rural town so his dad could take a better job, so they rented the small house, for now, until they could afford something a bit bigger and better. Jimmy's mom had found a job at the littler cafe uptown, working as a waitress. His dad, worked for the sheriffs department and since he was the newest member, worked the night shift. He would get home shortly before his mom had to leave for her job. She would wake him after she got home, either bringing supper with, or after fixing something. They had the evenings to enjoy together as a family, as well as every other weekend. While school was in session, everything had worked fine, but now, it was summer vacation and Jimmy was home with his dad, needing to entertain himself without making much noise, or it would wake his dad. He didn't have enough room in his bedroom to play, so he had to entertain himself in the living room. As long as he was quiet, this was not a problem. But, after pushing his toy cars around the hardwood floor for a couple hours, he had become bored. Not thinking, he had turned on the television and was looking for a movie to watch. He settled in with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich his mom had made for him before she left and was just getting started with the western he had picked out of the DVD's. But, when the cowboys started shooting, it got louder and his dad had waken and stormed out of the bedroom and shut the television off. He yelled at Jimmy, "What are you doing? You know I need to sleep so I can work tonight!" Jimmy lowered his eyes to the floor, "Sorry Dad, I didn't think it was too loud." His dad glared at him through red, sleep depraved eyes. "I know. it's got to be hard for you. But, Jimmy, I've been having a rough time sleeping with the sound of you scampering around the floor in here and the TV was just too much. I know you didn't mean too, but you need to think about what your doing. I have to be up all night and need to get some sleep. Find something quiet to do -- if you wake me up again, your going to find yourself in trouble. Understand?" Jimmy nodded. He felt bad, he knew his dad was tired and didn't get enough sleep, and he had tried to be quiet. "Well," he mumbled to himself as his dad returned to the bedroom, "You will have to try harder." He sat on the sofa for a while, then decided he would read one of his books, that would be quiet. He went to his room and looked through his box of books, picked one out, and headed back to the sofa. He almost fell asleep reading, so he put the book down and walked quietly around the small room to wake himself back up. Stopping in front of the small window, he looked outside. It was now early afternoon and the sun streamed in. A beautiful spring day. Jimmy knew now what to do, he would go outside and entertain himself in the small backyard. He quietly left the house and was exploring around the bushes and hedge that enclosed the back yard when he found a Frisbee wedged into the hedge. He worked his hand and arm into the overgrown shrubbery until he felt the bright yellow plastic disc. He had to work at it a bit to get it free, but after a couple of minutes and a few little scratches, he was staring down at a slightly beat-up and dirty Frisbee. He turned it over and pondered where it may have come from. One of the neighbors, he thought, but who? Most of the people that lived in his neighborhood were elderly, he had not seen any other children close by. he pondered this for a few minutes and then decided that it was unlikely anyone would be looking for this, at least, not anymore. How long had it been stuck in the hedge? Had a former renters child lost it? Well, he thought, it's mine now. He had seen people in the park playing catch with a Frisbee, but he had never thrown one himself. He went through the motions and liked the way it felt in his hand. Cautiously, he tossed the disc a short distance. It curved to the right and went almost straight up. After retrieving it, he turned and tried again. This time it went much straighter and bounced off the over-grown hedge. Jimmy's heart skipped a beat when it hit the hedge, he didn't want to loose this treasure like someone else had. "No," he spoke quietly to himself, "I won't throw it towards the hedge." With his back to the hedge, Jimmy found the proper grip on the Frisbee. He concentrated on holding his hand level, drew back his arm and as the Frisbee left his hand he knew, he was in big trouble. The disc flew straight and level, quickly traveling across the small yard and impacted dead center on his parents bedroom window. With a loud crash of busting glass the yellow disc vanished into the curtained room as a very deep and horse voice cried out, "What in the hell..." |
| Yes, I'm here physically, but mentally I'm not so sure. I have a head full of cobwebs and so far the coffee hasn't cleared any of them. How did they get there? Well, there's a few ways to get cobwebs in one's head. One most of us are aware of is drinking too much. The alcohol creates them but often we don't even realize it until we wake the following day. This often is a very painful way to get a head full of cobwebs. Of course, there are other substances that can do the same thing and have the same results or even worse ones. For instance, I know a few people who smoke something that creates these cobwebs, and they have done it so much that even when they don't smoke anything, they continue to have a head full of cobwebs that never go away. I've heard of this phrased as perma-fried. Another way is just talking to some people, they don't make any sense and trying to figure out what they are even talking about can create cobwebs in the head. More often, however, it just results in a headache and sometimes a stomach ache as well. I learned of this years ago when the Peanuts Cartoon was popular. Charlie Brown often got a stomach ache when talking with Lucy. I've also experienced this myself, numerous times. Other times cobwebs form in the head from medical conditions and or the medications used to treat them. Fevers can create them, severe pain, and even a sharp blow to the head. In fact, having a bad cold often no only stuffs up a persons head, but stuffs it up with cobwebs as well. I'm sure many of you have suffered this form of cobwebs in the head from time to time. Mine are a combination of two things, one being lack of sleep. Again, not sleeping forms many cobwebs in a person's head, and the longer you go without sleeping the worse they get. Other times you manage through many hours of not sleeping without letting the cobwebs develop to much, then sleep for a few hours, but not enough, and wake with a head full of the nasty things. That's partly how I got mine. I was up fairly early yesterday, had a pretty good day, and was looking forward to a nice relaxing evening and getting to bed a little earlier than normal, since I was pretty tired. But, that all changed when I got a call requesting someone to come in and work through the night, from 9:00 pm to 5:00 am. Well, there was only one person who was available to do this, me. So, instead of relaxing and getting to bed early, I had my supper, visited with my wife for a short time and then headed in to work all night. I got home about 6:00 am, had a bite to eat and relaxed a bit, then headed off to bed felling very exhausted. But, wouldn't you know, sleep just wouldn't come. I was too tired to get to sleep. I did finally fall off into slumber about the time the alarm went off for my wife to get up and get ready for work at 7:00 am. Yes, blissful sleep, finally. At 11:30 am, I woke up. Yes, only 4 1/2 hours of sleep, but i was awake and there was no going back to sleep. So, I got my retched carcass out of bed and poured some coffee to get myself jump-started. after three cups of coffee, I was jump-started and ready to start my day, but unfortunately, the coffee wasn't able to burn through those dreaded cobwebs. To top it all off, I have been dealing with a new employee who is taking excessive time off. On Tuesday she was given a firm talk to and it was explained that she needed to work her shifts or face more serious consequences. Later, Tuesday evening, I received 3 requests for more time off for her. I was tired and frustrated, somewhat stressed over it, so I ignored it, deciding to put it off till the next day. Wednesday, before I can even address this with her, she texts and needs to take Thursday off to go to the dentist. I was literally dumbstruck by this. It was like the talk had never happened, or if it did she completely miss understood the part of not taking any more time off to mean she was suppose to take even more time off. My head hurt and I was getting a stomach ache; I know how you felt Charlie Brown. Well, to wrap it all up. I got home this morning, slept for a few hours and then got up to start my day. My wife is working today because the other person took the day off to go to the dentist. So, with a head full of sleep deprived cobwebs, I look on the company web site and find another three requests for time off from this person... As Charlie Brown used to say, "My stomach hurts..." |
| Well, it's the end of February and getting right close to spring, even though it may be another few months before it really looks like it. Even so, we should be past the worst of the real cold weather, we are seeing much more of the sun, and it's getting lighter earlier and dark later. Spring is my favorite season and after the last month and a half, I'm ready to see life begin to renew itself. Not that the problems of the last month and a half have been resolved. They may have been, but I find myself in doubt. Perhaps I should explain the problem. Mid January one of our better employees quit to pursue another job in his career field. Great for him, but not so good for us, as it left us short on help and made for little time off for the rest of us. We found a replacement shortly after, and it looked like things would get back to normal right soon. The new hire trained and did great, she also does a great job and has a lot of potential. At the time I hired her, there were some red flags, but with a nice interview and a long chat, I tended to believe her that she was seriously attempting to make a new start and move past past problems. The company I work for did a background check and called with some question as to whether she should be hired or not, but put it up to me, if I felt confident in her, they would get her started. Like I mentioned, she did great during training, and even now does a terrific job. The only problem is, she has an attendance problem; she has needed seven days off in the last month and a half. Not only does she need to take time off for all sorts of things, she has a problem with dropping this information one or two days before, making it a real problem. Since I supervise the site and my wife is the assistant supervisor, it's up to us to change our plans for our days off to cover for her when this happens. In being fair, I had a long talk with my assistant supervisor about the problems, who then sat down and told the new hire that she was already treading on thin ice and if she did not correct the problem, would be facing corrective and disciplinary actions from me. She cried, she understood, and she stated that she would do her best to resolve the problem. I was on site during this time talking to another employee and doing a bit of training with him over a recent change in policy. Yes, it was one of our few days off, but we both thought if we get the problem corrected now, it will prevent future issues. After we both finished our tasks, we went out for a nice dinner, the returned home. before relaxing for the evening, I logged into our work site and seen there had been three requests for time off submitted just two hours after the long talk about not taking so much time off and missing so much work. Yes, she went home and requested more time off; I can only assume that the meeting was a waste of time and that things will only continue the same. I just don't get it, who sits through getting their butt chewed for taking too much time off only to go home and ask for more? For me, it's looking like not only will I not have my time off, but I will be spending more time doing corrective actions and likely hiring and training another person. Time will tell if the message got through, but as I said, I have my doubts. *** Update to entry added: I guess my doubts are well founded, I just received a text requesting tomorrow off. Yep, she completely missed the point and the ice is cracking under her. |
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