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 |  "Putting on the Game Face" |
  This blog is a doorway into the mind of Percy Goodfellow. Don't be shocked at the lost boys of Namby-Pamby Land and the women they cavort with. Watch as his caricatures blunder about the space between audacious hope and the wake-up calls of tomorrow. Behold their scrawl on the CRT, like graffitti on a subway wall. Examine it through your own lens...Step up my friends, and separate the pepper from the rat poop. Welcome to my abode...the armpit of yesterday, the blinking of an eye and a plank to the edge of Eternity. Note: This blog is my journal. I've no interest in persuading anyone to adopt my views. What I write is whatever happens to interest me when I start pounding the keys. |
| As the King found himself drawn deeper into the discussion he became more and more interested. “So the real evidence that a person is dead, is not that the breathing has stopped, or the heart has quit beating or the pulse no longer pulses but rather that the spirit has departed the body.” “Yes, these other three can stop and then start again... but when the spirit flees so does life and the body enters a permanent state of lifelessness, called death.” “So this is our first piece of real evidence that a spirit exists--- because we see it in the contrast of when it’s present and when it’s gone.” “Like I said, death is strong evidence that a spirit once was, because of how the body appears when it’s no longer there.” “What other evidence is there that shows the presence of a spirit?” “Most will tell you that they can see the spirit, aglow in the eyes of a child.” “And when is this evidenced?” “It is observable almost any time you care to look closely, but particularly when a child sees a thing of wonder.” “A thing of wonder?” “Like a shooting star, or something similar, that elicites awe. At such times the spirit that dwells therein becomes animated and is particularly easy to discern.” “Do spirits have a gender?” “Most certainly. At conception the sex of a child is determined by the gender of the spirit that enters the womb.“ “So if the spirit is a male the child will be born a boy and if the spirit is female the child will be born a girl.” “This, I believe to be true.” “But this is an assumption rather than a fact?” “Since nobody has ever been into the world of the spirit then all we can say of it is conjecture and hence must be classified as an assumption.” “Review for me what an “Assumption” is so I’m sure I have the definition clearly in my mind.” “Assumptions are things we believe to be true but can’t prove for certain. Things we must consider as true in order to proceed with the solving of a problem.” “So an assumption must not only be believed to be true but also bear on the problem to be solved?” “Exactly, and there are several types of assumptions.” “And what might those be?” “First there are those with an element of futurity. If we believe something will be true in the future, regardless of how certain we are that it will come to pass, it must always be considered an assumption.” “Give me an example.” “If I say the dawn will come two weeks hence, this is an assumption. It is so because "two weeks hence" has yet to arrive. What if the moon were to crash into the earth next week and blast the planet to smithereens?… then, there would be no earth left for the dawn to rise over.” “I see what you’re saying and I agree that facts that have yet to happen, because they lie in the future, must be considered assumptions.” “Then there are facts that are yet to be discovered. Say you are right about a woman’s moon being full fifteen days after her taint begins. Unless it can be proven by a trial then it must be considered an assumption. You might believe it's truth beyond a reasonable doubt, but until it passes all shadow, it must be considered an assumption.” “I see. Unless a truth can be proven by trial and confirmed by repetition it must be considered an assumption.” “And then there are facts that are already established, but are being secreted away, so that everyone does not have access to the truth. In the absence of these facts the uninformed must make assumptions about what they think is true but could actually be false. For example, suppose you have developed a new bow and arrow that is twice as effective as its predecessor. You would want to conceal this from your enemies so they would not know the power of your new weapon until it surprises them on the field of battle.“ “Yes, a fact that is concealed---that is known to you but unknown to your enemies, that causes your foes to assume a truth that is deliberately obscured.” “Finally there are facts that are available to all but require some effort to gather. Often we make assumptions about things we don’t take time to seek out or are too lazy to uncover. So there you have it regarding assumptions. They are what you believe to be a FACT, that bears on the problem, that can have an element of futurity, be suspected but unproven, be concealed from the knowledge of others, or simply that lie unexplored because of the effort it takes to find them.” |
| The next morning the king got up, dressed and went to the breakfast pavilion. There he found Scheherazade nursing their daughter with her friend Fatima who was also nursing. Fatima had delivered several children and was showing the King’s First Wife some of the ins and outs of breast-feeding. It’s always a good thing, he thought, to have a friend show some of the lessons learned. Fatima was using her infant son as a training aid. Her breasts were about the same size as Scheherazade’s with dark rubbery nipples and the Sultan never passed up an opportunity to take a peak. He found watching the nursing process to be pleasant and it harkened him back to a time when life was free of distractions and responsibilities. The Sultan walked along the buffet table filling his plate with fruits nuts and a selection of meats and bread. He took his seat of honor on a raised platform overlooking the gathering and was joined by his his Vizier. “Do you suppose that what we eat decides the gender of the children we conceive?” he asked. “I doubt that diet plays any role what-so-ever, but we can discuss the possibilities if you like.” The King shook his head. “I think it would be a waste of time. We need to concentrate on outcomes that are more likely." “What is percolating in that mind now?” Oh Great King." “Maybe we can find the answer to what makes a male child, using numbers.” "Numbers?" “Last night Scheherazade told the tale of Archimedes and the Golden Crown.” “I used to tell that one to my daughters, when they were children. I don’t think Dunazad ever really caught on.” “The tale showed that the truth is often concealed and to discover it requires an indirect means.” “Like discovering when a woman’s full moon rises.” “Yes,” said the King, “and I know that you are a mathematician without peer in the realm.” “That might be going a bit far, Your Magnificence, but I am a student of Mathematics.” “Do you think that Mathematics would hold true in the metaphysical world of the sprit in the same way it works in the world of the here and now?” “I would think that mathematics would hold true in any dimension or place in the Universe.” “I was hoping you’d say that.” “Why do you ask?” “Because I think we can deduce things about the sprit world from what we know about our own.” “These are matters that great thinkers have pondered long and hard--- and gotten nowhere.“ “Has anybody gone to the sprit world and retuned to tell of it?” “The Christian’s claim their Messiah died and did so return.” “And what did this Messiah have to say about the place where the dead go?” “He spoke vaguely and in metaphors.” “So he didn’t really say much beyond that the place exists.” “The unfortunate truth,” replied the Vizer. “So while we don’t know much about it, we know it exists.“ “For a certainty it exists.” “Has anybody else returned from the dead?” “I have heard that soldiers, badly wounded, have walked down the tunnel of death and seen a bright light at the end, however, they never got past the illuminated portal.” “Do you think our sprits come from this world at the other end of the tunnel of death?” “I think that is a likely possibility, however since nobody has ever actually returned, there is no way of knowing.” “Well, we do know some things.” “For instance?” “When we die our sprits leave the body and go off somewhere---and that when we are conceived a spirit enters therein.” “I can see the truth in that.” “And that that sprit determines the sex of the child.” "I share your view, but since you’ve been such a stickler of late, separating fact from assumptions, I've been struggling to keep what my senses tell me apart from my intuition." “Well then let us examine some of these 'Intuitions,' and see if we can classify them as either assumptions or facts.” “When we die, does our spirit leave our body?” “When someone breathes their last, their spirit departs and that is strong evidence that they are no longer living.” |
| When Scheherazade paused the King asked,” Is there more to this tale?” "Yes," chimed in Dunazad, "Tell us how the Royal Goldsmith was tortured." Scheherazade gave her sister a dirty look. “There is still an epilogue I might relate, but it involves math." "Forget that," said Dunazad and yawning got up and went to her room." "Continue," said the Sultan. After answering the King's question Archimedes sat looking at the one pound cubes of Gold, Lead, Silver and Copper. He decided to take their measurements to determine exactly how different in size they were from one another. When he finished he knew the volume of the cubes as well as their weight. “Hmmmm, he thought to himself. Many things in the physical science are related and using a marvelous mathematical process, called Algebra, it was possible to calculate an unknown value if two of the three were known. Following the thread he reasoned that if the weight and dimensions were known the third, which he named Density, could be determined. To do this he came up with the formula, Density equals Weight divided by Volume. So he took the weights (l pound) and divided it by the volume of each cube and came up with the following numbers. Copper had a density of 8.96, Silver10.49, Lead 11.36 and Gold 19.32. The higher the number showed the greater the density. "Very interesting," said the Sultan. "Gold has almost twice the density as Silver. This is a much more precise than water dribbling over the lip of a container." "Yes," his wife answered, "Mathematics is much more exact a way than casual observation." "But what amazes me most," said the king, "is how using Algebra, one can determine the missing value in a relationship of three, when two of the values are known." "I love mathematics," said Scheherazade, "because it dispenses with ambiguity and there is usually only one correct answer. "Do you suppose that mathematics would work in the metaphysical world as it does in the physical?" "For that you have to ask my father," she answered, "for he is the greatest mathematician in the realm." "That is exactly what I intend to do," said the King yawning. "Now lets try and get some sleep before the dawn comes." |
| “Tell us what happened when Archimedes returned to the bathhouse,” the King wanted to know. “Did he pinch the bath maiden’s nipple?” Inquired Dunazad. Scheherazade rolled her eyes and continued. When Archimedes returned to the bathhouse the tub was filled to the brim and the matron smiled as she unbuttoned her blouse. He undressed and she took his garments hanging them on the wall pegs. When he was naked, Archimedes smiled back and stepped into the tub. As he did, water began sloshing over the side and as he sat down still more poured over the edges. “ Hmmm” he thought to himself. He sat back cogitating and propped his ankles over the edge. The maid began to lather his feet working the oil between his toes and along his sole and instep. “Ahhhh, he sighed as she began the massage of first one and then the other. The more she rubbed the more delicious came the delight, growing more and more intense. At length it became all but unbearable. Arching his back the pleasure peaked and once more he slid down deeply in the tub. Water spilled out like a great tsunami rolling onto the beach of paradise. At that instant, as the wise man wiggled on the cusp, his mind made the leap from ignorance to understanding. It was the connection he was searching for." Eureka! Eureka!" he cried out, which in Greek means, "I have the answer!” The next day Archimedes returned to the King. He had a glass beaker, four cubes of metal and a scale. He put these on a table before the Sultan and asked him to weigh each one. The first was one of gold and it weighed one ounce. The second was lead and it weighted one ounce. The third was silver and it weighed one ounce and finally the last was copper and it too weighted one ounce. When he finished the king looked up and said, “So what?” "Look closely at the cubes and tell me what you see." The king looked closer and as they sat arrayed, one next to the other, he suddenly noted the difference. They were different sizes. The gold one was smallest, then the lead, then the silver and last the copper. Archimedes put the beaker on the table and filled it brimming with water and underneath placed a saucer. When he immersed the gold cube a little water spilled over, the lead a bit more, the silver still more and finally the copper most of all. “Hmmmm,” said the King then, "Oh my goodness!” as the light of understanding spilled into his mind. “I don’t get it,” said Dunazad scratching her head. “Think! replied the King. A larger cube displaces more water than a smaller cube.” “So?” “If the crown is pure gold it will displace the same amount of water as a pound of pure gold.” “So?” “If the crown is mixed with the copper or silver it will displace more water since these are larger than a like amount of gold.” “Oh! I get it. “ "Duh..!" said Scheherazade and continued. He summoned the Excelsior. "Make me a perfect pound cube of lead, gold, silver and copper." The next morning Archimedes returned with a larger beaker and immersed the cube containing the pound of gold. Doing thus, he watched the water spill over the lip. Then he did the same with the Crown and a small additional amount dribbled over the edge. “Summon the Royal Goldsmith!” demanded the King. |
| Archimedes and the King Archimedes was down in the bathhouse when the summons arrived and had just gotten into the hot water. He was soaking in a tub, filled to the brim, with his ankles propped up on one end. For the uninitiated allow me to elucidate that the pleasures of the bath also drew certain unnamed professionals, who traded in the full range of earthly pleasures. So don’t be shocked as I relate that a young, buxom, bare chested maiden was massaging his feet. Archimedes was trying to pinch one of her “You know whats,” with his big and second toe as he squirmed with delight. As the pleasure neared its zenith he slid deeply forward on his buttocks and his head almost disappeared beneath the surface, displacing a large amount of water onto the floor. “I had no idea,” Dunazad interrupted, “that foot rubbing could be so pleasurable.” "Would you like me to demonstrate?" asked the Sultan. The young girl blushed and her sister gave a dirty look. "Perhaps some other time," she replied. “May I continue?” asked Scheherazade The King motioned her thus. As he sputtered for air, his servant entered, telling of the King’s summons. The Great Man hurriedly climbed out, dressed and gave these instructions. “I’ll return in an hour,” he said with a wink. “Have the tub full, so you can finish our business.” With that he hastened to his Soverign. “I’ve called you," said the King, “because I’m faced with a perplexing problem. I’ve a beautiful crown which I’d thought to be made of purest gold but now question the truth of it..” “You think it might be mixed with something else?” “Yes, exactly and I’m told that to find out I must melt it down--- something I’m loath to do.” “I understand completely, Sire.” “So, I wanted you to take a look and perhaps put my suspicions to rest.” My eyes are no keener than yours, Oh Great One, and even if they were, the answer is not to be found through inspection. “So then, there’s no other way?” “I didn’t say that, Your Magnificence. Let me think on the matter and return when I've found a solution.” ---And so Archimedes returned to the bathhouse. As he walked the cobblestones of the great city he looked detached and anyone noting his presence, would have seen a man lost in thought. |
| The Dilemma The King and Dunazad settled back and began listening in rapt attention. Scheherazade was a spell-binding story teller. Once there was a great King in Syracuse who had a wise counselor named Archimedes. One day the King gave his Royal Goldsmith a one-pound ingot of purest gold. “Take this ingot,” he said “and produce for me the most beautiful crown ever wrought. I'll pay you five times the value of the gold for the rendering of the crown.” The Goldsmith bowed and withdrew delighted with his latest commission. He was a man of great artistic talent and as a craftsman, had no peer. Seeing an opportunity to profit from both ends of the transaction, he cut the ingot into four parts and took one and locked it in his strong box. He melted the other three and mixed it with parts silver and copper and poured it all into a mold. When it cooled he set the alloy chunk onto a shop table. There he weighted it until satisfied that it weighed exactly one pound, before setting it aside and beginning work on the crown. “The man was a thief,” muttered Dunazad. “ See how he kept one of the parts for himself, substituting a baser metal?” “Such a trick is virtually undetectable,” pointed out Shahryar, “without melting down the crown.” “He should be suspended by his thumbs and be branded with a hot poker,” she replied in disgust. “May I go on?" asked Scheherazade. The Sultan motioned to continue. And so after a year the Smith returned, giving the crown to the King. It was a magnificent piece of work and the Monarch loved it and all who saw the magnificent glitter of its rendering proclaimed its merits. One night, shortly thereafter, the king had a dream wherein an apparition appeared telling him… “The crown is not pure gold as it appears, but has been mixed with silver and copper, making the fraud undetectable to the eye.” “Yes and the "Fraud" pocketed one part in four,” said the King sadly shaking his head. “He deserves to be flailed and fed to the dogs,” cried Dunazad, self-righteously. “May I go on?" asked Scheherazade. Shahryar so motioned. The king was troubled that he might have been cheated, but was a fair and righteous man, so he summoned his Excelsior of the Mint. The Excelsior weighted the crown and told the King it weighed exactly one pound. “But is it pure gold?” The Excelsior shrugged, replying that he had no way of knowing and suggested consulting the Royal Alchemist. The king did and the Alchemist revealed that only by melting the crown would the base metals separate and thereby reveal the purity of the gold therein. This bothered the Sovereign because the artistic rendering was a wonder to behold. Clearly this was not a good idea. King Shahryar smiled at Scheherazade and interrupted. “I can see where this is going. ...Around and around like a dog chasing his tail. Why not take the scoundrel to the dungeon and put him to the question? “ Scheherazade rolled her eyes. Naturally the king did not want to risk the the torture and dismemberment of so skilled a subject, who might very well be innocent of any wrongdoing. He was on the verge of forgetting the whole matter when he suddenly realized that he had a Chief Armorer named Archimedes. Archimedes was a designer of weapons with extensive knowledge of metals and their alloys. |
| Scheherazade That night the King sat propped up in bed alongside Dunazad while Scheherazade sat cross-legged, facing them. Scheherazade was the Sultan’s First Wife and had survived the fate of other wives by telling such captivating stories that the king could not bear parting with her. While not particularly attractive, Scheherazade had been from the beginning a compelling force in Shahrayar’s life and as time went on he fell deeper and deeper into love. He had so hoped that she would bear him a son but alas, it came as no real surprise when she delivered a daughter. The king was thinking deeply about his discussion with the Vizier. They had been examining a possible connection between the moons cycle and the menstrual cycle of a woman. At length he withdrew from his thoughts, sighed and addressed his wife. “Does it frustrate you that, as an older man, I can no longer perform my husbandly duty with the same frequency as a younger?" “You made me pregnant, Master. I pray our next will be a son." "You waste your time praying. The Gods are not cooperating." "Do not be so sure oh great King." “Would that I could conjure a son out of my sleeve, as I often do with rabbits.” It was an innocent comment spoken in quiet mirth. Yet the words were hardly said when a tremor resonated through his mind making him shake his head back and forth. As he chased it away, the thread fled downward along his spine until it entered his feet, leaving a tingle in every toe. “Tell me Dunazad,” he asked, squeezing her breast, “is the appearance of truth the same as its embodiment?” “Of course not,” she answered. “You as a magician should know that better than anyone.” “You speak truly. Appearance is but the bald shadow of truth.” “Is there a premise you desire for tonight's tale or should I choose something of my own volition?” Inquired Scheherazade patiently. “Ah a premise! Yes indeed. I like the ring of that. Tell me a tale of how wisdom leads to solving a perplexing problem.” Scheherazade thought for a moment and began relating the tale of Archimedes and the Golden Crown. |
| Separating Facts from Assumptions The King picked up the thread as his mind filled with questions. "Tell me," asked the Sultan, "is a woman an animal?' "In my view she is not!" "Then why can you purchase one at the Bizarre for the price of three camels?" "There too, a man can be purchased. This does not make her the same as an animal." "And why not?" "Because if she were so defined, then a man too must be adjudged an animal." "Yes--- of course." "Man has been placed on the earth to have dominion over the animals, just as God has dominion over men." "I see, so we are something more than an animal but something less that a God?" "This I believe is true." "You don’t know it for a fact, but you believe it to be one?" "Yes.' "So it really isn't a fact…" "In the context of the Greek Process of Reason, godless as it sounds, it would be classified as an assumption." "So whether we are Gods, Men or Animals, what we truely are cannot be proven using the Greek method?" "They would term it 'Unknowable.'" "However, what is 'knowable' is that a woman’s Moon, unlike that of an animal, is invisible." "... Suggesting we are of a higher order, does it not? Let's not waste time conjecturing but rather in separating fact from assumpton." "Yes my Lord. A woman’s heat is invisible. There’s no alluring scent, no swelling and no easily discernable friskiness. While many might claim otherwise, a Bitch and a woman have nothing in common." "We’ll consider that an assumption and use it should we find it bears on the problem. For now let’s stick to the facts. Review for me how a woman’s moon works." "It has the same duration as the moon’s cycle, hence the term 'A Woman’s Moon.'” "Is it possible for a man and woman to copulate when she is tainted?" "Of course My Lord. Such behavior is forever possible, but by convention is frowned upon." "...And why the convention?" "Because a woman is tainted during this period and for a man to take her while unclean, would taint himself as well." "Nothing a little soap and water couldn’t wash away." "As I said, 'Possible' but for the God-Fearing, to wallow in the menses is profane." "Could a woman become pregnant if this profanity were overlooked?" "Since the Faithful choose to abstain, obviously pregnancy is not possible." "Answer the question!" "I don’t know the answer." "If the only time that a man and wife choose to copulate is during the taint, could a woman become pregnant?" "As I already said, I don’t know the answer." "So to say that it can’t happen is an assumption?" "So it would appear My Lord." "Very well then. For now we'll assume that whatever convention a man and wife choose to follow…. having sexual intercourse during the taint period will not lead to conception." "It is a fair assumption since it's unproveable and certainly true." "What's the duration of the taint period?" "Four to seven days with five being the expectation." "...And the duration of a month?" "Twenty-eight to thirty-one days." "...With the expectation being thirty. So for purposes of discussion, the moon's cycle is thirty days...and of these thirty days the first five are tainted, which we have chosen not to consider as possibilities for conception." "In this we share agreement." "And, if a woman has sex with a man she will conceive somewhere between the fifth and the thirtieth day?" "So it would seem." "And if we marked the days on a calendar we would see the range of possible days as twenty-five." "Yes, Yes, Your Magnaificance, but what does all this have to do with siring a son?" "Hmmmm," said the King stroking his beard |
| Facts and Assumptions The Sultan had many threads working in his mind. "There is much we don’t know about how our spirits choose the sex of a child." "I agree, Your Magnificence. It is a most perplexing question." "On the other hand there is much we do know." "And what is that?" "We know that a child can only be born of a woman." "Indeed, to my recollection there is not a single example to the contrary. And…." "We know that a virgin cannot conceive a child." "This is true although some of your Christian subjects might disagree. " "We know that the seasons have a cycle." "True, there is spring, summer autumn and winter." "We know that the moon has a cycle." "True, there are twelve months in the year." "...And we know that a woman has a 'Moon'.” "Yes, a woman has the same cycle as the moon and therein lays a profound distinction. For the moon is dark, born of the elements, moody and full of gloom, while a man is child of the light, having a spirit that basks in the sunshine of day." "Please, don’t mix the facts with assumptions. We know that a woman has a moon because we can measure it. Don’t cloud the issue with the light and darkness metaphors. How do we measure it?" "Well, it begins with her taint, and when that runs its course she is considered clean, until of course, the taint returns once more." "So if a woman is like the Moon, sharing the same cycle then when is her Moon full?" "I seem to be missing the point." "Do animals have a moon?" "I would hardly call it a moon. A dog comes in heat perhaps twice a year." "Assume, for the sake of argument, that a Bitch’s moon were the same frequency. When would it be full?" “When the wafting of her obscenity excites the pack, when her clutch swells with invitation and when she incites the hounds with her frisky prancing." “That would signify her full moon?” “Certainly because when the time comes, and the stud mounts, a litter of offspring is the inevitably consequence.” "Most interesting." "...But forgive me Sire, what does this have to do with siring a son?" “Hmmm, “ said the Sultan stroking his beard. |
| Defining the Problem The genesis for the idea came one morning as he talked with his Vizier. The Sage was the father of Scheherazade who had become the King's favorite wife. The Sultan at the time was 55 years old and his advisor had the audacity to bring up a very sore subject. "Your Magnificance needs to produce an heir before time runs out." "Tell your daughter," the King replied, "I futter her often enough... Had our hopes up, she did, and what was it...DRAT! Another daughter. What am I to do?" "Maybe if, the morning after, you quite beheading your wives, then one might give you a son." "Son, my ass!" replied Shahryar. "Even before Esmeralda betrayed me, and I rashly implemented the current policy, I'd only sired females. It's a cruel joke played on me by the Gods. What am I to do?" "Think on it Great King, for in all the land nobody has a speck of the wisdom you dispense so freely and never seem to miss. " "Table the obvious, forget the platitudes and address the question!" " Alas... Then, I fear you might be right. Some men are cursed by destiny to only sire females... why Sultan Awshut, had thirty-four daughters and not a single son." "Don't remind me," said Shahryar in disgust... "Think of what that does to my reputation. My subjects snicker and make jokes that my spirit is effete." "My counsel is to give the matter some thought and sleep on it. I can't imagine the answer but if anyone can figure it out it will be you." So the sultan slept on the matter and that night in a dream, came up with the germ of an idea. The next morning he resumed the conversation with his wazir. |
| The Sire Trick Now King Shahryar was not just a wise sultan but also an accomplished magician. Not the type that dabbed in the dark arts or a practitioner of all that superstitious and other impossible nonsense so popular in his day. No, all the tricks performed by the King were slight of hand. He was quite good at it and since he had plenty of time to practice, used his skill to amaze and confound his subjects, creating a sense of awe surrounding his rule and thereby contributing to the basis of his power. At first it was card tricks, and then disappearing rabbits and snake charming and walking through beds of coals. There were also the coin tricks and sawing a woman in half. The credulity of his people never ceased to amaze him and as time passed his antics became even more convoluted and complex. One of his favorite deceptions, as I've already explained, was marrying a virgin, deflowering her on his wedding night and handing her over to the executioner the following morning. The catch of course was that nobody actually saw the execution, only the evidence of it, and after everyone believed the deed was done she was whisked off incognito and married to a rising star. These God Daughters of the King, (So they were called) were much sought after by ambitious and aspiring young nobles. The deception mentioned above made the Sultan appear cruel, causing his subjects to believe that if the King could so treat an innocent young maid he was capable of any excess of cruelty and they'd best behave themselves. Also, the God Daughter Scam proved quite useful in binding rising stars to the coattails of his leadership. It was in the 35th year of his reign, however, that he resolved to pull off his greatest act of magic. The genesis of the trick came from the Headless Maiden Scam and he set about putting it into effect. It would become a cornerstone legacy of his amazing career. |
| When It comes to outlines I often tell my students about The Chicken or the Egg. That is what comes first the outline or the storyline? I have read authors who claim to do it both ways. Remember in grammar school the teacher requiring you to write an outline first. My recollection of the experience was that my brain clutched. I was completely unable to write an outline about something I knew nothing about. So for me the story had to come first and to get to the story I have always written vignettes. From the vignettes the characters are birthed, the story world developed and the story line begins to suggest itself. In teaching my class The Exploratory Writing Workshop at New Horizons Academy at WDC I require the writing of six vignettes, a simple outline and then a Comprehensive outline. There is nothing magical about the number six. In the current class I'm taking at HSP, Romantica the story line for the novel emerged after only four vignettes. In the process of writing the class requirements (Romance/Sensual Prose.) I made frequent forays into other backstory vignettes and finally into writing the outline. The Outline is a living, breathing document that contains all manner of useful stuff. When I was writing this one a thread came to me of a character who is Alonso's Cartel contact. I don't know at this point if it is a useful direction but I didn't want to lose it. Anyway as my muse shares thoughts and ideas I do my level best to capture and organize them into some sort of coherent outline that I can later work using my faculties of reason. It provides the bite sized (vignette sized) chunks a writer can easily develop without being overwhelmed by the complexities of a novel that nobody I know can juggle and still come out with events and chapters that lead down the road to conclusion At this point I have to mention my muse. My view on muses is different from conventional wisdom that speculates that the ideas we write about germinate in our minds. My view is that we are tied to a greater corporate reality and our muse is like a modem link to that reality. In other words we don't dredge up what we write from the bowels of our subconscious but rather grab onto the skirt of our muse who takes us into an external world. Rather than thinking it all up ourselves we dial into a whole new dimension. What happens as I write the vignettes is that I get a fire hose of ideas that might appear unrelated at first but will soon congeal. The challenge is to write madly capturing each thread as my muse delivers it onto the video screen of my imagination. If I don't get it down it all too soon disappears into the ether of lost thoughts and is forgotten. It is like waking up from a dream, which at first is so vivid and trying to remember it an hour later when it is all but lost to recollection. |
| MOJO My wife, Linda, and I rent a display case at a local antique mall. Today we were in there paying the monthly rent and looking around at some of the other vendors. A dealer, next to us has some really nice things and I was checking out her jewelry. I saw this abalone ring for $15. It fit on my pinky and I told Linda I was going to get it. She told me it was an old Hippy knock-off and a waste of money. I’ll show her I’m somebody who can think for himself!” I decided. In the car ride coming home she apologized. (Well, sort of---.) “I’m really sorry,” she told me. “The ring wasn’t that expensive and I know we can afford it, but I just have to tell you--- when you dropped the twenty on the counter, I felt like watching someone flush the toilet. What ever possessed you?--- Normally you have such good taste. “ “Sweetheart, I know you think I bought it out of spite but I really like it. The abalone has an iridescent glow that reminds me of a meteorite fragment--- like the one that hit Russia last week.” “You’re making fun of me,” she replied , “I hate it when you do that. METEORITE FRAGMENT! Get real and quit acting like a jerk.” “Plus its sterling silver,” I continued. "Look here. Inside the band, it says 925." “Whoppie! A dollar’s worth of silver in a fifteen dollar ring. Go to any flea market and you’ll see display cases full of that junk." “Well, I liked it, Sweetums, and some mysterious force compelled me to buy it.” “You’re impulsive, that’s what you are and whenever I say don’t buy something, you start acting like some all knowing BIG- SHOT.” Your Dad had the big-shot gene, and so do you.” “That’s not true darling, it was a muse, whispering in my ear.” “A muse?” “Yeah, you know, an inexplicable intuitive voice, calling out from the Twilight Zone.” “You're such a Dork!” “Do you think this ring might have a special MOJO?” “Oh I get it. Instead of buyers remorse you want to go purchase a lottery ticket.” “Now that you mention it---.” “OK, we need some cranberry jelly. We’ll get a power ball at the grocery store.” When we got home I went out to the mailbox. I didn’t pay much attention to the mail and laid it on the dining room table. Then I went outside to put wood in the outdoor wood stove. When I returned inside Linda was waiting, eyes wide as saucers. She was holding up an envelope with a look of dismay. It was an unexpected Insurance check for $586.07. |
The Story Telling Model Picasso is said to have been able to draw realistically even though inclined to do otherwise. Many great poets, even though they often disdained the traditional forms were versed in their use. Many great playwrights and authors gave the tried and true model their unique spin but still used it in their work. I tell the students they should first understand the basic model before going off on their own thing. I teach the Exploratory Writing Workshop at New Horizon’s Academy. It never fails that I learn a great deal from the process and oft feel like the “One Eyed Man, in the land of the Blind.” While I don’t presume to be a great authority on the “Written Word,” I try and give my students an appreciation of the basics and introduce them to the model that most novels follow. I am writing this essay so I won’t forget the lessons learned when it comes time to update the course. A good story begins just before a Life Changing Event. (LCE). In the beginning of a novel a writer gets a brief opportunity to provide backstory, set the scene, introduce the Central Character (CC), introduce one or two Supporting Characters (SPs) and perhaps the antagonist. Then the writer gets to the Life Changing Event (LCE.) A novel typically has 1 LCE. (Examples: A loved one dies. They lose a sense or body part. Their house burns down…they suffer horrible burns. Their cruise ship sinks and they almost drown or die of hypothermia. They wake up in a gutter getting urinated on by a drunk, are assaulted and beaten half to death, or raped by a stranger or family member. Note: It is not just the event but how it changes the life of the CC and how they decided to change as a consequence. In a typical novel the CC will face 3 Crisis (Cs): (Examples: Take each of the LCE examples above and think about how it might lead the CC to change the direction of their life. Then once upon their new path something huge happens (A crisis) to keep them from achieving what they have resolved to become or get to where they want to go. A CC might face perhaps a hundred Important Events (IEs). (Examples: A Cs and an IE are orders of magnitude apart. While the three Cs should be unmistakable, they are linked and interspersed with IEs. IEs help move the story along. They are not the same thing as a Cs. As already mentioned a good story begins somewhere during the CC’s Journey through life. It begins just before a Life Changing Event (LCE). As the name implies the LCE changes the CC. He/She resolves to take a path different from the one fate had previously ordained. As a consequence of this change in direction they encounter several crisis each larger than the last, culminating in the Climax. During this they experience many IEs which are not to be confused with the LCE or a major life Crisis. The Identity Crisis I am trying to get at is what happens after a LCE… when the CC is sorting out and resolving the new direction their life is going to take. The CC is resolved and determined to change some of their core behaviors and beliefs and this will cause some problems when this born again personality steps out on a new path in life. It will lead to Crisis. In a typical story there are 3 classic Crisis the CC will face. They will start relatively small and build. While I say they start small they are still big in the context of the CC’s life. There are two types of crisis I want the student to understand. One that results from something the CC does (self induced) and ones that are going to happen regardless of what happens. (Externally induced). In the workshop I try and get the students to understand the distinction. It is important because as the story moves along the reader is looking for change in the CC’s character. Commonly an immature CC only blames themself when there is no one else to blame. A mature reader picks up on this character state very quickly. So, an event is not necessarily a crisis but a crisis is always an event. |
| Jesus Wife Disciple If you Google search the key words in the title you will see a flood of controversy regarding a scrap of papyrus that dares use the words “Jesus” and “Wife” in close context. The Vatican calls it a forgery and many indignant biblical scholars go to great length to debunk the fragment of Coptic writing. The professor who announced the finding is a scholar from a prestigious University, and well respected in her field. Two leading subject matter experts confirm the authenticity of the scrap-sized shred. Now it might be a forgery. It is certainly taken out of a missing context, which credible sources believe derives from a manuscript written several hundred years after Christ’s death. Until proven to be a fake it is a piece of physical evidence. The problem it represents is that it reopens the controversy, made sensational by Dan Brown’s The Di Vinci Code… That Christ was married, purportedly to Mary Magdalene. My belief in Christianity is not tied to a Virgin Birth, Resurrection from death, Miracles or other claims that run contrary to a healthy skepticism and basic common sense. Rather it is based upon the Good News of Christ’s message. In my view the case for Christianity should be made upon its message and not a selective number of sanitized manuscripts arbitrarily chosen for inclusion in the New Testament. The most amazing thing about Christianity is what Christ had to say. If Jesus was married or had a girlfriend, it doesn’t matter to me. Further I accept he was, “The Son of God.” This is not much of a stretch because I believe that the spirit of our creator resides in all living things. So even if a big chunk of God was hardwired into Jesus there is still no escaping the fact that he was a man born of woman. It follows then that he had a human’s desires and appetites. Since all men are not the same he realized that some would be better able than others to resist the desire to fornicate so he left the door open on marriage. Celibacy encouraged a disciple to concentrate on spreading the gospel rather than concurrently taking on the distractions of a wife and family. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, it was a challenge he offered to his disciples, a laudable goal that stopped short of being a mandate. The Catholic Church made it a requirement and we can see what often happens when someone tries to suppress the sex drive. Simply stated there are side effects. Unsatisfied they find outlet through other avenues offered by the flesh. Since Jesus was a man, what would Christians prefer to believe? That he was a man with a man’s appetite, that he was a homosexual or perhaps that he was compelled by a darker perversity? Take your pick. We have two thousand years of evidence showing that the priesthood can’t handle celibacy. Those who try simply can’t suppress the urgency that drives men and women to a sexual outlet. Personally, I think Jesus kept Mary Magdalene around for reasons other than her incisive mind. It is known that she helped finance his ministry, was a devoted follower, who stuck with him through thick and thin. She was extremely “Loved” by our Savior and on occasion the two were seen kissing. Further that the other disciples were jealous of her influence. For two thousand years the Catholic Church has used the threat of heresy and tried to suppress everything that deviated from the party line and despite all this there are still bits and pieces that keep cropping up, suggesting that Jesus might have had a normal attraction for women. When this happens those who would dare suggest such blaspheme are attacked for implying that the dogma of Christianity is not as airtight as the Vatican would have us believe. Why is Jesus humanity so hard to understand and deal with? |
| A time for Reform I saw a documentary on TV about deaf boys both in the United States and Europe who were sexually abused by pedophile priests. It was a sad commentary on an institution (Catholic Church) that has done so much to ease the suffering of humanity. The Documentary showed how the Church, following a policy of ignoring, denying, covering up and finally casting doubt and blame on the victims, has tried to escape admitting the scope of the pedophile problem, not to mention female molestation and the homosexuality issue. The need for a celibate priesthood has long been a contentious dogma for Catholics. The problems it creates have gained momentum over time building to a pressure that periodically explodes. The Reformation in Northern Europe, The Inquisition in Spain and the current crisis show what happens when believers and innocent clergy can no longer bear the weight of hypocrisy and cover-up. A Priest is supposed to nurture the innocent and not corrupt them. This is an ongoing problem that the church simply can’t seem to solve and the reason is because it is more widespread than anyone is willing to admit as well as deeply rooted in the culture. The abuses are so rampant that no one raised in the system, is unscathed and willing to suffer the remediation. There is evidence that suggests Christ had a wife. This is more than the result of forces promoting a greater equality for women or sensational novels such as Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code. In both new discoveries and a closer look at old scripture, a bright light is being brought to little known manuscripts and the underlying meaning of historical texts. While Jesus is said to have challenged his disciples to be celibate, he also left the door open saying that if they couldn’t comply, it was better to marry than live in sin. It was the Catholic Church that took the challenge from being a laudable goal to a mandatory requirement. In the times since we see the unanticipated results more clearly. By mandating celibacy the side effects have evidenced themselves and the Catholic Church is unable to deal with the sordid consequences. |
| Why the Workshop? The big reason why I designed the Exploratory Writing Workshop was because I wanted to demonstrate both a freethinking and a structured approach to writing longer works. There is a chicken or the egg complex that consciously or unconsciously plagues a writer. In a nutshell it is the conflict between characters begetting the story or the story begetting characters. So for starters it is important that the writer be unconstrained by structure and have an opportunity to let stream of conscious, muse, or whatever you call the creative process, have its day in the sun. Hence, the first six weeks are designed to accommodate three basic approaches to story telling. First is starting with interesting characters and getting them to tell the story. Second is having an idea for a story and getting characters to audition for the parts. Finally is a combination of both where characters and story feed off one another while the writer keeps a close eye on the developments. Common to all of these is writing vignettes that take prompts and lesson objectives to get things moving. These are analogous to sketches a portrait or landscape artist uses in preparation for a major work. At the end of six weeks the student has a better idea of who they are dealing with and where the story is headed. At this juncture it is time for phase 2 which is adding backbone with a structured outline. What I have learned from teaching the workshop is that aspiring writers often just start pounding the keys to see where their fingers are going to lead. They have this inexplicable notion that great works are produced by authors simply spitting out words. This is an invitation to frustration. The “Pantzers” will tell you that this approach works fine but to my experience, without some method to the madness, this approach is very limited, making it all but impossible to accomplish a larger work. SoCalScribe wrote a great newsletter editorial several years ago on the structure of a story. I'm providing the link below.
So I encourage students, if they don’t have a story to begin with to start with character development and see where that leads. If they have an idea for a story then audition some characters. Either approach leads to character development and unless they have one heck of an idea for a story line, it is the players who will make the manuscript.. Most of the time a student doesn’t have a very clear idea to begin with about either one. Telling them they need an outline at this point is like telling someone to push a noodle. So to start with the workshop uses a process of prompts and vignettes similar to contests designed at getting the class involved in the creative process. To begin with a vignette of between one thousand and three thousand words is manageable without a whole lot of structure. The prompts are designed to focus the student and get them to understand the basic components of good storytelling as they begin playing with the process. |
| Lew Wallace and the Story Telling Model Lew Wallace was a Civil War general. He wrote the classic Romance/Historical novel, Ben-Hur. It is a good example of the Story Telling Model, a template of sorts that has been around forever. Wallace begins by providing background to the reader and painting a before snapshot of his Central Character (CC), Judah Ben Hur. It is set in biblical times when Jesus was going about doing his ministry. We see the CC as a young Jewish noble. His boyhood friend, Masala, has returned from Rome and is no longer the same person he once was. Masala tries to sell Hur on the Roman world view and gets rebuffed. Then, an accident occurs with a falling roof tile that spoils the entrance of the new Governor to Judea. Ben-Hur, while blameless, is wrongfully charged and sent to the galleys and his mother and sister are locked away in a dungeon. On the way to his sentence the CC encounters Jesus who gives him a drink of water. So we have the classic beginning to the story. The reader gets shown background of the story world, we get a before snapshot of the CC and his antagonist is introduced. There is a Life Changing Event (LCE) that gives opportunity for character development, repetition, symbolism and some foreshadowing that portends things to come. As the story continues Hur swears vengeance and against all odds grows stronger. Now the reader sees three crises that build momentum and carry the tale along. First there is a battle where he saves a Roman admiral. In gratitude the Tribune adopts the CC and takes him to Rome. As the story continues the reader sees the CC's character development. No longer is he light hearted and care free. In Rome Judah learns to race chariots. He returns to Jerusalem to settle matters with his antagonist and find his Mother and Sister. In the second crisis Masala is killed in the Coliseum, however, before he dies, tells Hur that his loved ones caught leprosy while in confinement. In this scene we see Masala's dark horses and Judah's white arabians as symbolism of the clash between good and evil. The CC gets his revenge but it is a hollow triumph. In the third crisis or climax he realizes the truth of the Dramatic Premise (Hate leads to an unfulfilled life) and has a religious experience. He gives Jesus a drink of water on his way to the cross. A miracle follows and the health of Judah's family is restored. Here we encounter three crisis, each building on the last, culminating in his encounter with "The Son of God." Themes such as “Vengeance is mine,” “Casting stones,” “Do onto Others,” and “Forgive them for they know not what they do,” play out to the amazement of readers, reinforcing the religious beliefs and zeal of his audience. The novel was then and remains today a popular example of its genre. If you read many books on writing you will soon see the model discussed and one or more of the components emphasized. I’ve read good stories that digressed from this format but not many. In designing the structure of a written work, aspiring writers need to keep this tried and true formula in mind. |
| A Hodge-Podge I haven’t been doing much with my blog of late. Instead I have been tied up in my class, “The Exploratory Writing Workshop,” and a renewed interest in “Essence and the Stones.” Yesterday we got a foot of snow. When I went to feed Himer I got stuck in a drift and had to walk five miles home. That wasn’t the most uplifting of experiences but I managed it to no ill effect. When Marc got home around ten O’clock we took his truck and pulled me out. Then it was clean out the driveway time. Anyway Himer didn’t get fed yesterday and this morning I plan to go and complete that mission. I am happy to report he is eating the food and appears to be getting along Okay. I saw my “Slinking Dog’’ the day before yesterday. For some reason my muse has visited me with a renewed burst of creative energy. When she comes around my head fills with new ideas and threads and it becomes a mad exercise to get them all written down. I give her number 1 priority because what she has to say soon fades like a dream, that’s sharp when you wake up but soon disappears. I think I mentioned, maybe I didn’t, that I read a series called “The Hang Man’s Daughter” a mystery/action/adventure. It was a translation, written originally in German by Oliver Potzsch. It reminded me of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” Anyway my wife brought me a scrapbook of a trip she took several years ago to Germany. It shows her with her girlfriend, Louise, standing on the Regensburg Bridge with the Wurst Haus, mentioned in the story, in the background. The main thread of “Essence and the Stones” has split into three distinct parts, which include the main story and digressions on Petra and Bedelia. It keeps spinning off and I really don’t mind because it will probably never get published anyway. It is a test bed for many different aspects of my writing and there are parts where the Sensual Prose (SP) might turn some readers off, but it isn’t meant to titillate but rather as an approach to help invigorate the characters. I’m finding that SP animates my characters and even after being edited out still leaves them with an aura of authenticity. |
| Good and Excellence Don’t pat your back too hard if things go well or kick your butt if they don’t. If you soar too high your wings don't just melt but you come crashing down, break through the crust of thin ice and sink into the morass. Just try and stay focused, be persistent and strive for Good and Excellence. I read a book title by a member here at WDC... “No good deed goes Unpunished.” That really got my attention. I will have to read it and get back with the writer. Before doing that however, I need to reflect on why I liked it so much. Was it because it reminded me of the story of Job in the bible? Was it because I sense there is an eternal equilibrium between good and evil? What is “Good” anyway? What is “Evil?” For that matter what are Excellence and Chaos? I define GOOD as knowing best and getting others to do it. This is the social definition but I also have a corollary or artistic definition. It is knowing excellence and getting others to see it. Thus the words Good and Excellence have a similar connotation but Good, is applied to how we live and Excellence applies to the fruits of our labor. One is a spiritual force and the other is materialistic. If we do nothing, the world provides what I refer to as “The Natural Mean.” Like the default on a computer, Nature provides her own answer. We can improve on Nature’s answer or make things even worse. So, if we do something good, in a social sense, it means we improve on a situation as opposed to doing nothing at all. In the Artistic or Creative sense it refers to producing something that exceeds the natural order of things. For example writing a melody that exceeds the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. If the notes are randomly arranged they are Chaotic and resonate worse than nature's default. This means something has been created that is worse than doing nothing at all. |
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