Acme's (acme) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

2,953 Public Reviews Given

3,697 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Honest. I give my overall impressions, let you know what worked well for me and what didn't, and when that happens, I like to try and offer suggestions--totally up to you if you want to take any notice; it is your writing, after all. I am just glad to have the opportunity to read and review. I rarely think anything is perfect, so please do not request a review if you value ratings over review content.

I'm good at...

...being interested. I take time over reviews. My reviews are intimate, informal and honest. They aim to help, offer insight, and celebrate the graft of craft. I love commas. Punctuation is a personal passion.

Favorite Genres

Comedy, supernatural horror, sci-if, fantasy, thriller, detective, slice-of-life, history.

Least Favorite Genres

Dystopian glumness, romance, personal.

Favorite Item Types

Scripts. Fiction. Essays, especially academic

Least Favorite Item Types

Free form poetry. Other than that, little offends.

I will not review...

Unless previously agreed, novels and chapters are a no go with me. I am sorry to say that I haven't the time.

451

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#2782611

Review of Test of Fate

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Powerful words and good vocabulary make every word count in this poem, as does the foundation of the traditional quatrain structure.

What are my favourite parts?
You have really used form and structure well as a compliment to the subject matter. The constraints of partial rhyme and well paced rhythm lend another dimension to the narrative tone - very well delivered

What are my suggestions?
You could be missing out on a potential audience by not using all the genre fields. I suggest 'experience', but you may find another choice more appropriate.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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452

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#2782608

Review of Pinkerton and Pinkerton

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Full of potent imagery and a tortured tone this poem is packed full of power and is delivered well. There are a couple of areas where I felt lines could be edited to make your subject a little clearer, but overall I really enjoyed this thought-provoking poem

What are my favourite parts?
Imagery and metaphor is very well used to convey tone in this poem

What are my suggestions?
Ensure your punctuation is appropriate if you are going to use it:

Betrays himself.
To cover foreign substance

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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453

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#2782259

Review of Golden Memories

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Well expressed vignette piece, Uday

I've added a few notes to a technical edit, but the subject matter of your story, and your narrative, makes an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing, and sorry for missing this one out from my Holding Pond reads (I have no idea what I did wrong there!)

454

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#2781948

Review of SIZE DOES MATTER

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Another enjoyable poem which hooked me from the first line.

What are my favourite parts?
Good use of imagery in your descriptions again which I think you have such a talent for

What are my suggestions?
Humour me and change "other" for "poetry", please?

Some of your word choices may benefit from using a wider vocabulary (you use the word 'pieces' in swift succession)

The crack's grow

- no need for possessive apostrophe

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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455

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#2781945

Review of THE SKETCH ARTIST

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Spooky twist! I really did feel drawn into your narrative and imagery in this poem.

What are my favourite parts?
Subtle alliteration and poetic language make this a pleasure to read.

What are my suggestions?
Again, it would be an idea to review these older pieces to check you have filled in the item type and genre fields to best advertise yourself.

As there is some mild curse words in this poem you should check site literature and raise your rating accordingly.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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456

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#2781853

Review of CLOCK OUT OLE MAN WINTER

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
I really did enjoy the pace and imagery in this poem.

What are my favourite parts?
Good use of imagery, poetic language choices, personification, simile and metaphor make this a memorable read

What are my suggestions?
Although you have chosen a genre field, there are three so it always pays to make the most out of using them. I suggest, 'animal', 'home/garden', but you might come up with some better ones.

In the modern world of text and email, your brief description is a little 'shouty' because of the use of capitals and numerous exclamation marks. I shudder when I see more than one end line punctuation character and agree with Terry Prachet's Patrician character from diskworld: those using more than three in a row is an indication of a lack of sanity!!!! Seriously, using more, only lessens the original impact behind them, and you should consider being wary when using them so prolifically; after all, you are a very good poet who has a great arsenal of words to use to express/convey meaning

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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457

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#2781848

Review of Trying To Get Started

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is one of 5 reviews on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Wow! You sure have been prolific in the time you have been here at Writing.com and I am looking forward to reading more from this varied and eclectic mix of items in your portfolio

What are my favourite parts?
Using poetry to express your excitement and give a little detail about your expectations on the site was a very good idea. The tone you convey in this poem is infectious in that expression of excitement

What are my suggestions?
I realise this is one of the earliest additions to your portfolio, but it is worth going back over your earliest posts to see if there are any updates you can make, now you know the site better

I would suggest you now change the item choice field to "poetry", as many visitors to the site use the search engine to find items of interest to them, and hardly anyone chooses to search under "other"

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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458

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#2781829

Review of Relish

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
This is a well written account of one of the loneliest jobs on the planet - one most of us would take great pains to avoid acknowledging the existence of. Thought provoking and insightful the subtle comedy in your satire works well.

What are my favourite parts?
Your imagery is very well written. I particularly enjoyed the "Big Gulp" descriptions and the theory behind being an East Coast hot-dog. Good satire should always be a little uncomfortable and you got the balance just right

What are my suggestions?
I couldn't see how this story related to the 'Lost' prompt in this month's contest.

I know what I have to do and I don't need their

- shift in tense. Try to stick to one particular tense, and as the majority of this story is told in past tense, it may be an idea to alter lines, like the above, to reflect the past tense too.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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459

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#2781767

Review of Mother Nature Said No

Review by Acme

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
Thanks for entering the "Invalid Item"

I can see why this has a lovely awardicon. I wondered what your take on the 'Lost' prompt was, and realised it wasn't in 'getting lost', but losing (your heirloom) and what you could have lost (your life!). A well told story

What are my favourite parts?
I started getting a little skeptical about this trip. Though nothing was actually broken, the first two hours of my first great adventure was turning out to be most memorable. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. funny, but in an ouchy way

What are my suggestions?
None - Write on!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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460

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#2781751

Review of A Foolish Chief

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Want to join a group which will encourage and support your writing, as well as making new friends? Please visit
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#1360711 by Brooklyn

What are my overall impressions?
Thanks for entering the "Invalid Item"

I really enjoyed reading this narrative poem which suited the AABB traditional quatrain form well

What are my favourite parts?
The rhyme and rhythm took me along with good attention to pace and tone. The story-line was superb, and I enjoyed the set up and punchline delivery

What are my suggestions?
None - Write on!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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461

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#2781633

Review of My Journey to Becoming a Writer

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (5.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
Dave, it's great to see all these factual snippets about you journey as a writer, here in one place

Well written, this item creates a good overview of your career as a writer to date.

What are my favourite parts?
Having worked in one of your workshops I find it fascinating to follow the route your writing career has taken, but of special enjoyment to me in this write, are the little personal enhancers, such as the childhood "newspaper" delivery - Ace!

What are my suggestions?
None - Write on!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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462

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#2777619

Review of My Life

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
A thoughtful and poignant look on what seems to have been a frustrating period in your life. This poem examines what must be only a small part of your recovery process, and it is great to see a sense of dark humour surface in your tone

What are my favourite parts?
A loved your use of 'butt' repetition. The subtle changes in frustration/misery/embarrassment/humour all worked because of your clever inflection of tone around your word use

What are my suggestions?
As you are more comfortable with Free Verse, I was surprised to see a traditional AABB rhyming quatrain used in the first verse. This may only be personal preference, but I found the shift in structure to be a little distracting.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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463

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#2774310

Review of Pit Stop

Review by Acme

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

I am reviewing this as an entry in "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Look at you rolling under the shutters before they come down on the contest deadline

Thanks for your entry, and I hope you get your clue

I enjoyed this take on the Love City story prompt and thought you set your characters and story in motion well. I think you have left the ending somewhat open, but as you have whet my appetite, I have to ask you to consider expanding on this story, as it seems you have more to tell.

What are my favourite parts?
Your narrative descriptions bring the story to life with vivid imagery and good character development

What are my suggestions?

Paul was the one [that had chosenwho chose] this particular freeway exit...one who had quickly dismissed the lone Chevron...Paul who [had driven drove] them around the back

"Well[,] I wonder why

The board [had to take took] emergency action

Paul couldn't find anybody. No cars,

- no need to underline, as you go on to explain clearly

There are a number words which seems a little like padding (most noticeable the occurrence of 'had'), you may want to cast an editorial eye over this piece to look out for them specifically.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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464

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#2773968

Review of Stuck in Love City

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

I am reviewing this as an entry in "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Good use of the prompt story in this tale of a teenager getting used to her new life in a new place.

What are my favourite parts?
You built up the tension and executed the plot twist well. Your main characters were fleshy and believable.

What are my suggestions?

Oh my God! Could life get any more boring than this? Mary Lou yawned

- a great way to show character thought is to italicise it:
Oh my God! Could life get any more boring than this? Mary Lou yawned

Some of your sentences are rather long. As a general rule, use a comma where the narrative pauses for breath, or where changing thought mid-stream (like the comma before 'or' here

). Another good place to use commas, if you like, is where an 'aside' is used; a part of the sentence which could be removed without damaging the meaning/flow of narrative.

Mom had drug her down here and enrolled
Mom dragged her down here and enrolled

When writing numbers, such as age, use the full written version, rather than number symbol.

Both men started shaking their heads yes

- nodding

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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465

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#2773337

Review of Desperation

Review by Acme

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

I am reviewing this as an entry in "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
This is a dark story in a monologue format which makes for interesting reading. There are areas where you could look to your technical delivery of the story.

What are my favourite parts?
I thought you managed to create a distinctive voice for your narrator in this story. Your images of the satellite characters are very vivid, like 'snap shots' - well delivered.

What are my suggestions?

It could only tell me one thing. Our system of life is collapsing.

connective thoughts should use a semi-colon.

A wife...a son....a daughter.

use three periods in an ellipsis.

I also had a little trouble seeing the comparison with the prompt story.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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466

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#2773272

Review of Jean Lafitte

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
I thoroughly enjoyed your take on the 'adventure' prompt with this poem about one of the most infamous pirates in history

What are my favourite parts?
The structure with refrain worked really well and I particularly found the author's note and 'click' link a thoughtful addition

What are my suggestions?
For an adventure rich character, I was rather surprised that you focused a number of stanzas on his part in fighting the British, and neglected the belief his friendship with Napoleon resulted in him hiding the Emperor's treasure which is still undiscovered today.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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467

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#2773189

Review of Hate

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
This is a good story which uses the 'adventure' prompt well. You hooked me with your well developed characters and plot line and the history came through well, and not just as a backdrop. There are technical areas in your writing which could use an editorial eye, and I think this story is well worth any effort you would put into doing so.

What are my favourite parts?

At the sound of water swishing around in the canteen, Greg's dry mouth started to water. As if the old man could read his mind, Greg felt the cold metal against his arm. Grasping it in both hands, he let the dirty water drip down into his mouth. You do a good job in using narrative description to move the story on, add detail in imagery and flesh out your characters. Your dialogue is smooth and believable.

What are my suggestions?
There are a number of places where you could cut words, making your narrative tighter and punchier, eg:
regiment had been mostly wiped from the face of the earth in the bloody battles that they had fought
most of the regiment were wiped from the face of the earth in the bloody battles they fought

He was angry with all the white people [that who] held his race in contempt.

his sorrow was beyond [what he had ever imagined before his imagination]. He knew just about ever body [that who] lay at his feet. He had been trained with them and [had been bunked?] with them ever since [they had come to this country being stationed here] and fought in the war for the fate of world freedom [that was now threatened now under threat]

- my example here is an attempt to show you 'dead' words, and how you can spice up your language by widening your vocabulary. It is only an example; one I'm sure you could improve on

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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#2772899

Review of Nature is Calling Me

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (3.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Want to join a group which will encourage and support your writing, as well as making new friends? Please visit
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#1360711 by Brooklyn

What are my overall impressions?
Thank you for entering Pond Poetry. This month's prompt was La Courante form and your rhyming couplet poem does not meed the requirements of the form, nor your subject matter with the corresponding picture prompt. All that aside and reviewing this as a poem, rather than contest entry, I have to say I enjoyed reading this poem.

What are my favourite parts?
You managed to engage all my senses with some stunning imagery and descriptions, freshly mown grass, bird song, warmed by the sun and cooled by the wind... your words transported me to this scene.

What are my suggestions?

Wind is blowing much too softly to[o] tend.

Your use of full stops (periods) at the end of your lines is a little confusing when the sentence naturally continues on the next line.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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469

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#2772160

Review of Why Worry, Today Is Here

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
A thoughtful and thought-provoking poem which brings the reader into a shared moment with the narrator.

What are my favourite parts?
I like the way you create an intimacy between the narrator and the reader by sharing "The View"

What are my suggestions?

As the cars go flying by.
My eyes are glued upon the sky.
As the clouds

- again, I'm a little uncomfortable with the use of periods as end line punctuation, but you should also be aware of the word 'as' being over used. And your title has too many periods in an ellipsis.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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470

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#2772132

Review of No, I'm Not Looking....

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Reminiscent of the old "Hey Good Lookin'!" song, I found the easy pace and informal language really suited this poem.

What are my favourite parts?
I liked the odd stresses you placed on particular words by using capitalisations in unexpected places - they made me conscious of your words choices, slowed down my reading pace to match the tone of the narrative, and added to my enjoyment

What are my suggestions?
Only a quickie - ellipsis should really only be used with three periods; any more seems like a yawn than a pause, and any less could always be construed as a typo.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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471

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#2772120

Review of Way Back When.....

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Oh, this is very well done! Just a few tweaks to some of the rhymes which were a littl loose, will make this good poem a great poem

What are my favourite parts?
I loved the structure! Is it your own? Please write me and let me know, as I have not come across this before and would love to know if there are any particular rules to it so I can try it myself! Lovely imagery and narrative again - you are starting to acquire a 'voice' in my mind's ear

What are my suggestions?

Way back when I was only seventy.
Flowers and Honeysuckles still smelling heavenly

- it pays to be tense aware, as shifts between past and present can prove distracting for a reader.

The ABCCBA rhyme pattern did seem a little weak with a few word choices, particularly those which only shared a last letter in common.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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#2772116

Review of My Hecate, The Wise One

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
A glance at the driving force behind your spirituality in this poem of tribute to divine force. You controlled the pace well and used the two stanzas to convey your subject in rhyming couplets.

What are my favourite parts?
Your love and celebration of divinity shines through your narrative, making this an intoxicating and powerful read.

What are my suggestions?
Again, I would suggest looking at re-editing those areas where you repeat words and widening your vocabulary accordingly.

End line punctuation consists solely of exclamation marks and you may want to review this, as they lose their impact with overuse.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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473

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#2772108

Review of Spring's Here

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (3.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
The ABCB rhyming quatrain form of this poem works well here. This poem has some wonderful spring time images of nature and I connected easily to it. There are some technical areas which would benefit a small amount of time in a re-edit.

What are my favourite parts?
I particularly enjoyed the images of nature in your narrative, and a timeless tone of enjoying the fruits of spring.

What are my suggestions?
I realise that traditional poetry etiquette prefers capitalisation at the beginning of sentences, but I found the periods ending each line rather distracting as quite a number of lines followed on. Not using any end line punctuation is quite acceptable these days. If you would like to include it, it makes sense to use it appropriately

It should not take you long to fix and will enhance your readers experience of your poem.

There are a couple of 'lovely's in swift succession and I would ask you to review your word choices and widen your vocabulary.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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474

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#2767906

Review of Recurring Nightmare

Review by Acme

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

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AN ACME REVIEW

This review is part of an initiative to spread positivity through reviewing. While it may not be a technical edit, my thoughts here are honest, and I hope you find them helpful and encouraging

Hey there, Legerdemain

Well, this is one action packed and dramatic nightmare! Your pace and delivery kept me on the edge of my seat, and although you could polish a couple of technical areas, it won't take you long to do so

Suddenly[,] the trees start to fall

Left, right..then left again.

three periods make up an ellipsis.

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care!

475

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#2762230

Review of Because You Cared for Me

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (5.0)

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Acme Review

This review is offered in the spirit of support and is only my opinion. Please feel free to take what you will from it and thank you for sharing your work!

Overall Impressions
A thoughtful and delightful poem on the realisation of affection.

Favourite Parts
This is a simple ABAB rhyme, but your clever choice to enliven the form with alternative spacing of lines and colourful text makes it a visual pleasure beyond a traditional quatrain structure

Suggestions
None - Write ON!

Write on and take care!