Hello Maeve In just 263 words, you've told a cunning story, that's for sure! What a great solution for Dana, that was very clever!
I liked your plot choice: the exasperating problem (which everyone can relate to) - with new users who annoy others' with their obsessive phone habits.
There're no technical errors detected and the story had a very satisfying end!
Hello again, Jacky What a great little story, written for "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" A tale which has humor and a surprise ending. It takes a special kind of writer, to successfully roll out a consistent 'product' - as you do.
Mainly written using dialogue with a smattering of narrative you write with a sure hand.
There were of course, no technical issues and no grammar or punctuation matters to note.
Excellent imagery Josh! Really, I don't like poetry much, I never get it.. it usually fails to move me. Everything I've read of yours has.
I would not have believed that so few words (in each of your poems) could tell the reader so much.
I see vivid pictures when I read your items... I know you think I'm exaggerating, but I pass over a lot of material as I hunt for pieces to review and so, I hope you'll believe me when I say that I hope you'll get your poems published.
You're a Genius! Get a book together - I'll buy it! Get each of your poems illustrated too...
Myriad forms converge.
He hides behind the pieces of himself, revealing all but never the whole.
One mask today, another tomorrow. A different performance for each audience.
He grows tired of the costumes he wears; none the prefect fit for his entirety.
The act draws to an end.
Stripping down to his very soul, he is naked but finally complete.
HelloJoshtheJiant I've been reading your poems.. I know nothing technical about poetry, but I do love the way you are able to pack in what you're viewing into a few words which can be shared by anyone visiting your portfolio.
Hello Again - well I don't know whether to laugh or gag
- I'll do both OOPS! My son has just dialled (Australia) 000 - he thinks I'm having a heart attack... sorry - back to the review!
What skin was left was yellowish brown ...
How did you do that?! Combining comedy horror & Suspense in...301 words!
Some time ago, a woman tried to insult me by calling me a Dandelion. She proudly labelled herself a rose
...The dandelion is a free spirit ...behind her golden smile, she bares the title of healer, humble intellect and propagator. In her old age, she sports a fluffy white afro, that makes children smile with delight!
Indeed! And Delight is what your beautifully told allegory bring to me, the reader !
What a vivid poem, fyn ~ it pulled on the heart strings and I felt transported to the lakeside too - to wave the geese a goodbye. There is a poignancy to the actions and the memory.. it teases my own remembrances ... your poem makes me want to read more of them.
There were no technical issues
I found the poem to be elegant ~ expressing lovely concepts.
WOW! That is an entertaining story there, SharotheFantasyWriter I don't usually read this genre unless told by published authors because, while the ideas may be big, they rarely make the grade -for me, at any rate.
My only suggestion is that you might space the words out into visual paragraphs (not asking for real ones - just separate into smaller chunks) - It would make it easier to read. My eyes can't take too much of the WDC font size.
I did not see any other technical issues and I really enjoyed your story. Thankyou for an enjoyable time.
Lead the next paragraph with the main character's name - the story is new, and it would 'invest' the reader more in her developing importance with-in the story if you mentioned her by name.
After Penelope Simmons's boyfriend of seven years suddenly dumps her, she decides to go back home to the family farm. It wasn't just any farm; it had been in her family for more than three hundred years. Her brother loved being on the farm and stayed but as an artist, she sought out the industrial walls of New York.
She had been really lucky and had done well in New York. The lifestyle wasn't without its stressors though. There were always deadlines and picky clients. When Jason dropped the bomb that he was seeing someone else, it just gave her the opportunity to take a break from the whole scene!
There are some minor punctuation matters throughout, but my main contention with the story is that you've picked an activity for your main event that not everyone can relate to, and it lacks any dynamic tension.
What is really good about your story is that it is very well crafted i.e. dialogue, time and place, in most instances, and reasonably identifiable characters. It does need more tension and if you have a read of the above article, you'll see how to proceed.
You're a good writer! I like your work - this story just needs a bit more focus and tension!
I put your story through a Word.Doc to check for spelling and grammar and I noticed that all the comma's have zero spacing between them and the next word: here's some examples.
... "Well, looks like I'm going to have to wait like Pooh," said Lillian as her husband replied,"Honey,of course,you don't,come on everyone,we can do this,let's really put our backs into it."
I liked this description, however, I think it needs a little tweak: The young woman was 5'7,143 pounds, had long dark curly blond hair and brown eyes covered obscured by glasses.
... There were some inconsistencies with paragraph spacing which affect the viewer's concentration when reading the story.
Lillian's curiosity got the better of her as she decided to explore and put her worries about possibly getting stuck due to it's rather small hole and her curvy figure to the back of her mind.
She stuck her head inside the vent and after some wiggling,her entire top half was soon inside,leaving only her hips,behind and legs sticking out.
Lillian's curiosity got the better of her as she decided to explore and put her worries about possibly getting stuck due to it's rather small hole and her curvy figure to the back of her mind.
She stuck her head inside the vent and after some wiggling,her entire top half was soon inside,leaving only her hips,behind and legs sticking out.
The young blond was disappointed to discover that the vent had nothing except dust inside before trying to back out but was shocked to discover that she couldn't.
"Maybe this wasn't my smartest idea ever," said Lillian as she placed her hands against the vent and pushed and pushed with all her might but it just refused to release it's grip on her.
The now concerned and slightly frustrated young woman then tried to push and wiggle herself free again,even putting her left foot against the wall for more leverage as her face turned red but still she just refused to budge and was completely and utterly stuck.The young blond was disappointed to discover that the vent had nothing except dust inside before trying to back out but was shocked to discover that she couldn't.
And OOPS!
Lillian felt so humiliateding but did laugh at the jokes [comma recommended] before joking herself, "This is comes from not having vents big enough for
curvy women like me," as everyone began laughing.
This story has loads of potential but my tip is to put it through a spelling and grammar check before uploading.
Also, some may have criticised you for overly descriptive pieces in your writing; however, I felt that those' offered some of the story's strengths, but do have a check for errors and resubmit. I believe you will attract more reviewers who will enjoy the story, as I did.
This reminds me of A Cat in a Hat by Dr Seuss - stories, which are great for kids, learning to read. Well, I loved those books and my own children enjoyed them too.
A perfect little story in rhyme ~ do you do illustrations? I can see an illustrated book in my crystal ball!
There weren't any technical issues nor typos
I enjoyed this refreshingly easy to read and fun piece!
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon What a great job you've done with the prompts you were given for "The Writer's Baker's Dozen Contest" . A well-crafted short story in under 1000 words with no technical errors found.
A nice blend of dialogue and narration too, providing pleasurable, easy reading'.
What a Gem, Arakun the Twisted Raccoon In just 69 words, you've betrayed every parent on the planet! LOL! Kids provide hilarious satirical comment on us both as parents and as humans.
I wonder if you had a word limit? I felt the story ended a little abruptly - [I copied and pasted to a Word.doc to check for grammar and spelling - I thought I'd accidently deleted the ending.] No.. it seems not, but there is room for a punchier ending - than the titillating but less satisfying finale you've offered. Perhaps that's your point. I'll have to keep an eye on your portfolio - I sense another good writer, burgeoning in our midst.
Just one technical issue *below*
every time I played a nd machine or game in the building
Your flash fiction stories always appeal to me with their variety and imagination. There are hardly any technical issues in this 300 word story ~ it's visually well placed on the page and easy to read.
A small tweak
She turned around and had only gone a nd handful of steps when it caught her eye
What great imagination James Munz - I wonder if there were prompts used in your story. The composition is intriguing, with exciting descriptive pieces of writing by you.
There were no evident technical problems in this 297 word flash fiction
Hello Again QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham - I really enjoyed this short biography - why don't you expand it? I am a fan of biographies, I admit and yours, with your health ups and downs, and your wonderful local community life of theatre, writing and volunteer work (with photo's please!} Would make a terrific story (maybe a movie I reckon so, anyway!
I am going to explore your portfolio for more golden nuggets!
For such a short 127- word (written for a prompt) piece this is dynamic! It demonstrates a wonderful imagination and I will surely check out more items from your portfolio.
Suggestion: All is quiet until a tunnel of light [and ... ? color [resume here] consumes my ship and along with it
Good Day to you Prosperous Snow celebrating I wanted to take a peek at your portfolio and I discovered a veritable treasure trove - this item -"To Turf Or Not to Turf" particularly resonates as I have the same problem. I really enjoy real account stories by writers' - by the time one gets to 50 - it is quite possible that one could become a permanent guest speaker, at least at RSL's or around the Country - as motivational speakers! LOL! Well, this story was faultless and I had a good laugh on this Sunday evening (Melbourne, Australia - in Lockdown in the State of Victoria)
No technical issues No grammar issues No typing errors
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I liked your plot choice: the exasperating problem (which everyone can relate to) - with new users who annoy others' with their obsessive phone habits.
Mainly written using dialogue with a smattering of narrative you write with a sure hand.
There were of course, no technical issues and no grammar or punctuation matters to note.
I would not have believed that so few words (in each of your poems) could tell the reader so much.
Myriad forms converge.
No technical or typing errors detected 
- he thinks I'm having a heart attack... sorry - back to the review!
What skin was left was yellowish brown ...
Some time ago, a woman tried to insult me by calling me a Dandelion. She proudly labelled herself a rose 
There were no technical issues
I don't usually read this genre unless told by published authors because, while the ideas may be big, they rarely make the grade -for me, at any rate.
My only suggestion is that you might space the words out into visual paragraphs (not asking for real ones - just separate into smaller chunks) - It would make it easier to read. My eyes can't take too much of the WDC font size.
Lead the next paragraph with the main character's name - the story is new, and it would 'invest' the reader more in her developing importance with-in the story if you mentioned her by name.
After Penelope Simmons's boyfriend of seven years suddenly dumps her, she decides to go back home to the family farm. It wasn't just any farm; it had been in her family for more than three hundred years. Her brother loved being on the farm and stayed but as an artist, she sought out the industrial walls of New York.
There are some minor punctuation matters throughout, but my main contention with the story is that you've picked an activity for your main event that not everyone can relate to, and it lacks any dynamic tension.
I have just finished reading 
which affect the viewer's concentration when reading the story.
This reminds me of A Cat in a Hat by Dr Seuss - stories, which are great for kids, learning to read. Well, I loved those books and my own children enjoyed them too.
She rapped her knuckles firmly against the old wooden door, the paint chipping away. 
Never doubt [you]r capability in doing what your little heart desires. 
"What [w ] e always do, fight to survive."
every time I played a 
There were no evident technical problems in this 297 word flash fiction
consumes my ship and along with it 
No technical issues
No typing errors