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606 Public Reviews Given
618 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Tricks  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi ⭐️Jellyfish⭐️ ,

I'm here with a review for "I Write in 2018" 

I'll be honest up front, I'm not totally sure what your poem is about. I assure you that it is entirely me not getting it rather than anything about your poem.

I've come away thinking it's about either what the passage of time does to our memories or the effects of dementia or a mental health issue - so please do tell me if I'm wrong.

The lines about shadows and darkness bring to mind of someone losing their memories - this is where I get the impression of senility or old age from. There is also the "Photos scattered on the floor" - this suggests someone who is becoming confused, either with reality or their memories.

The closing stanzas paint a very bleak picture. The "Empty rooms" reinforce the theme of someone who is losing their memories.

Wishing you the best of luck with I Write!

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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77
77
Review of Wonderland  
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk ,

A "The Dark Society"  Review!


I chose to review your item today to celebrate your birthday.

I really enjoyed your poem. I liked the way you captured the theme of Alice in Wonderland, without drawing in a load of the characters to tell your story.

The kyrielle sonnet is a nice choice for your poem. It limits the length of your poem, and this has helped you to focus on what Alice was all about. You made an excellent choice with regards the B refrain, as it reinforces the crux of your poem.

The kyrielle sonnet form is a syllabic count form, but you have created a smooth and melodic flow to your poem. I love your opening line - you have made excellent use of alliteration, and it serves as a great welcome to the poem.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~hating university


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
78
78
Review of One Way Ticket  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Hyperiongate ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!


I love the concept of your micro-fiction. You manage to tell a clear story in less than fifty-five words, and this is really hard to do.

Great micro-fiction relies on choosing a subject or theme that a lot of people can either relate to or easily understand.

Although every series and film does it differently, The idea of space travel is something that most people are familiar with: from Fireball XL5, through Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek, Babylon 5, and so on.

People may be unfamiliar with folding space and probability chambers, but when Star Trek came out in the 1960s, everyone had never heard of a warp drive or dilithium crystals, but fans simply accepted they were needed to make the ship go.

I like how you have given your character a name. It helps to personalise his plight, and is a clever way to engage your reader given the brevity of the story. It actually makes us care that he can't get home.

You have ended your flash piece on a "What now" moment. Most flash stories end this way, and it means the reader can make of your story's future what they will.


*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
79
79
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Christopher Roy Denton ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Ah, an anti-romance sonnet, but still about a love. I can't think of anything more perverse *Laugh*

I'm not a huge fan of sonnets (I really only like Shakespeare's Sonnet number 17), but I really like this. The humour is dry, and a lot of people love chocolate, so they can easily feel for your narrator.

You have used consonance, assonance, and alliteration to great effect to establish the cadence. The meter is flawless, but the first two lines are a little awkward.

I had to read the first line a couple of times to slip into the lilting flow of iambic pentameter, and the word "favorite" in the second line throws the meter off on the first reading. Many people naturally pronounce it as "fave-rit", so it reads as a spondee at the end of the line. It's only after tripping up on it, that I ended up re-reading and pronouncing it "fa-vor-ite"

I just love the volta. You have built up to it through the three quatrains, and it ties into your title perfectly.

*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
80
80
Review of Apocalypse  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Christopher Roy Denton ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


I really enjoyed your poem. I love form poetry and get a lot of joy from metered poetry (although I struggle so much to write it). Based on its title, I was expecting something more ballsy or truly dystopian. Your poem's content surprised me . . . but in a good way.

You have crafted a nice tribute to "Fire and Ice". The original Frost poem looks at several possible ways life will end for humans, and your poem mirrors this concept nicely. Your poem has the same opening few words, and this helps readers to get into the connection of the two poems.

You make excellent use of consonance and assonance to create a melodic reading rhythm for your poem; it was also really nice to hear you read your poem aloud in the YouTube video. You use punctuation consistently throughout your poem, and, along with your use of enjambment, helps to establish a reading cadence.


*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm
81
81
Review of Marching Orders  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!



*BulletB* First impression:

I enjoyed your poem. It gives a stark view (no GoT pun intended) of the distance between those issuing the orders, and the troops on the front line carrying them out.

*BulletB* Form:

I'm a huge fan of form poetry, and I especially love those with refrains.

Your rondelet follows the prescribed form, rhyme scheme, and refrain pattern.

You have made an excellent choice of refrain, as it reinforces the crux of your poem.

*BulletB* General impressions:

Orders for the front line often come from way back at headquarters, and this is hammered home throughout your poem. I like the way how you make this poem more about the men and women who are on the front line carrying out those orders, than those faceless generals conducting the war.

There is nice use of consonance and some alliteration to create a steady reading pattern. There is minimal punctuation, but when you use it, it is used correctly and effectively.

*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm
82
82
Review of Soldiers  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Pat ~ Rejoice always! ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!



*BulletB* First impression:

Despite the dark tone of your poem, I found it captivating.

*BulletB* Form:

You have used the original Craig Tigerman Pleiades form (a septet, where each line starts with the same letter as your one word title, and there is no fixed meter or rhyme requirement), and your poem conforms to the requirements.

Personally, this is my favourite version of the form, although I have written several Pleiades using Hortensia Anderson's variation, where each line of the septet is limited to six syllables. The six syllables symbolises the fact that only six of the seven sisters are clearly visible, whilst the seventh is nearly invisible to the naked eye.

*BulletB* General impressions:

Your poem makes excellent use of consonance to create a smooth reading flow. I also like the use of enjambment throughout.

You have done a great job of focusing on one aspect of the effects of war. You have gone with the potential psychological impact that being in a warzone can cause. This is not something I have very often, but you have crafted a wonderful poem around it.

*BulletB* Favourite lines:

*Scallopv* succumbing to the
savagery of their experiences,

These lines are consonance heavy, and it creates an eerie tone when read aloud. The use of the word succumbing is a nice way to show how the effects of war can be subtle, yet overpowering.


*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm
83
83
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi 🌷 Carol St.Ann 🌷 ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!


Your short poem carries an important health message for everyone. It's much better to you go your doctor and get things checked out, rather than leaving them or covering them up with pills.


I really like the line "advilling aches & pains", for several reasons.

The first is the wonderful alliterative quality, which then merges with assonance with the last word. It creates a nice reading cadence, which fits with the image of Barb skipping along in life (nice switch from the metaphorical use of skipping in the previous line, to a physical image created from the flow of this line).

Second, is the clever use of the ampersand in this line to save on the character count - very important when Tweeting!

My only suggestion for your poem is that perhaps advilling should be Advilling. Advil is the proper name of the drug, and so it starts with a capital letter. But then, I've seen the gerund googling (from Google). I guess the precedent is there for the gerund to start with a lower case letter. Anyway, a little food for thought.


Congratulations on winning "Tweet Me a Story" - it's not an easy contest to win. The Merit Badge looks great embedded within your item.

*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
84
84
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Purple is House Florent ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!


I am reviewing your story as part of eyestar~* 's Friend and Foe task #6

*BulletB* First impression:

You have a nice start to a romance story here. You made a nice use of the prompt provided by the Wheel of Torture.

*BulletB* General impressions:

I like the interaction between Lina and Raven. It is friendly and relaxed, and their dialogue feels natural for younger adults.

The start of your story sets up the bar scene and helps to establish the overall mood of the piece. Your POV is consistent, and I detected no head-hopping.

Your story flows smoothly, and the dialogue and action both help to move the story along at a quick pace.

*BulletB* Line by line suggestions: These are included in the dropnote below. Your original work is in black, specific suggestions are in indigo, and additional notes/explanations for the change are in orange.

Line by line suggestions ▼

*BulletB* Closing remarks:

I assume the book item link at the end is supposed to be a link to Mona's story. You might want to check the item number as is has linked to a different member.

Despite the suggestions above, you have a string start here and is still worthy of the 4 stars I have given it.

*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
85
85
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!


*BulletB* First impression:

This is a brilliant addition to the Game of Thrones family, Gaby. It gives everyone a chance to do something other than the daily genre reviews.

*BulletB* General impressions:

There is a nice mix of activities that players can end up doing. There are writing tasks, reviewing tasks, and even tasks where we get to interact with the WDC community. Like many, I do little else during GoTMonth, but take part in your crazy affair. I've even put my popular Around the World in 52 weeks on hiatus for this extravaganza.

There are some easy tasks, but also a few really scary ones. I hope none of the Newbies to GoT get scared off if they roll one of the stinkers.

*BulletB* Favourite parts:

It has to be the sheer luck of the draw. Some players have been lucky to get one of the freebies (points for doing nothing at all), but even when players do get something to do, it might be over very quickly (like my friend and foe roll with Hannah).

I pity the poor players who end up with task number 22 from the Friend & Foe Torture Chamber: "The Shameless "Plug" Page" is full of review requests! Fulfill them all, separately. *Smirk* ~ 15000 points each team

It's looks OK on the surface, but it will really force some people outside of their reviewing comfort zone - especially the LGBT and 18+ items.

*BulletB* Suggestions:

Really only one. Please open Doom of Valyria and Reek torture chambers *Laugh*

*BulletB* Closing remarks:

This newest additions shows just how much effort you put into your own GoT prep - something we don't always get to appreciate. I personally think you are onto something of a winner with this item.

*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm
86
86
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jeannie Cheering for Martel ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!


Thank you for your support of my contest with all of your various entries, Jeannie.

I enjoyed your China crossword, and it was a well-deserved first place win.

Your crossword has a wonderful mix of facts about China, and they are more than just the bog standard history and geography stuff - that's the main reason your item won first place. This is exactly the kind of thing I was hoping my contest would inspire. There is far more to a country than what we get fed by the media, and you have laid China out for us on plate.

I attempted your crossword and only got about of the answers. If it weren't for GoT, I'd spend the next half and hour filling in the gaps.

I like that you have made use of the "Your writing goes here" box at the head of the page - too many people just write "Quiz", "Crossword", or something like this. The extra few facts you include, as well as one of your recognisable images, gives your crossword a welcoming feel.

*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm
87
87
Review of The Witch Hunt  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Kodan Wolf ,

A "Game of Thrones"  House Martell Review!


*BulletB* Title: I like stories about witches and witch hunts, and so your title caught my attention.

*BulletB* First impression: You have written an enjoyable piece of flash fiction. It's a nicely crafted clash of good versus evil.

*BulletB* General impressions: Your story moves a long at a nice pace and contains a lot of action. There is very little dialogue, but that fits with a fight scene.

I like the descriptions of the Chaos Marauder. They really help to create a visual of this demonic creature.

*BulletB* Line by line suggestions: These are included in the dropnote below. Your original work is in black, specific suggestions are in indigo, and additional notes/explanations for the change are in orange.

Line by line suggestions ▼

*Shield1* Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On! *Shield2*


*Shield7* Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Game of Thrones  [13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm
88
88
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Lonewolf ,

*BulletB* First impression:

I was rummaging through your port looking for something to review, and I stumbled across this awesome-looking activity and had to have a peak.

It appears as though this is on hiatus, but I wanted to leave a review regardless.

I'm a big coffee drinker (can't start the day without a large lattee), and the title drew me in immediately.

*BulletB* General impressions:

I love the graphics and use of coffee-coloured browns and yellows. They all create the feel of a coffee shop. The forum dividers further reinforce this motif,

Your shop has an amazing array of packages from the simple short coffee (two poetry reviews), to the more complex Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino (which includes a mix of reviews, MB, Sig shop gift, and raffle tickets).

I took a peak at the associated sub-forums. The deluxe packages forum is visually appealing, and the banner at the head of the page is amazing. You have compiled some alluring packages. I also like that you allowed people to place anonymous orders - great for those Secret Santa, Anniversary/Birthday wishes, or just a simple "Just Because".

You offer Gift Certificates as well. This is a nice touch, as it can be difficult to know what another member might like in terms of a review package or an MB/Awardicon/reviews bundle.

All of your prices are reasonable for what was on offer. I'd probably go bankrupt very quickly if this was still active.

*BulletB* Favourite parts:

I love how your shoppers can customise their drinks order with coffee shop classics such extra shots (worth a Merit Badge or Awardicon), extra syrups (worth a Sig shop gift cert), and cakes and muffins (worth cNotes or extra reviews).

*BulletB* Closing remarks:

With both Power Reviewers and SAJ review shops on an indefinite hiatus since at least January last year, I'm surprised members have not returned to your coffee shop asking if you were still taking orders.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


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89
89
Review of Early Summer  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Mouser ,

I chose to review your item today for the Power Reviewers Summer Review Raid.

Your Haiku captures a quintessential summer's day.

It's easy to see the whole scene your poem creates - the children playing in a dew-soaked field or meadow with the sun beaming down on them. Many of the haiku I've read seem to focus on one tiny aspect of a much larger picture, but I like how you have managed to include the entire scene without your Haiku feeling cluttered or confused.

Although not required in Haiku, I like the melodic reading quality created by your use of consonance with the letter "s" (especially the unexpected "dual consonance" z-sound created by "seems" and "pause"), and the assonance between "green" and "seems".

I like the use of the phrase "seems to pause", as it really does feel like the sun never goes away during those long hot summer days. This also helps to personify the sun, as though it has physical control over its actions.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~GoT Prepping


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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
90
90
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi ,

Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . I'm here with a brief review.

Thank you for sharing for so much of America in your essay.

I have to agree about the Pilgrims. They fled England and Europe to escape the religious persecution and just took all of their own intolerances with them to the New World.

You have included a number of interesting tidbits of information - I for one did not know that only one horse survived Custer's Last Stand.

I like that you ended your essay with some personal details about where you have lived.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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91
91
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating ,

Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . I'm here with a brief review.

I really liked your essay. You have taken an important event in your faith and shared it with the WDC community. I'll be honest, yours is not a faith I am familiar with, beyond the name, so thank you for introducing me to it.

I like that you have included footnotes in your essay, as this not only shows that you have researched your essay but also gives your essay a formal look. You have also correctly centered the media extract, further lending to a formal feel and read.

I only noticed one minor error: "A tugboat, carrying several reports" should be "A tugboat, carrying several reporters".

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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92
92
Review of haiku #20170328  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi SOOKDEO ,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Your haiku is very vivid. I can easily see the change of the season from winter to spring.

I like your use of the word "muffled". It captures the idea that winter doesn't kill off nature, just that nature is subdued and unheard. This ties in really well with the "mute butterflies".

I love the thunderstorms we get here in the UK during spring. They have just right amount of terror in them to give spring a good wake up call, without doing too much damage - unlike the crazy storms I've seen they get in America.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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93
93
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Chris Breva ,

I'm here with "a very Wodehouse challenge"  review.

Your letter to cancer is short, but it says a lot.

Cancer is a disease that touches many people's lives. Your opening is a sentiment shared by everyone, and hopefully a cure will one day materialise.

Cancer doesn't discriminate between ordinary people, celebrities, royalty, the rich or the poor. Your letter reinforces this fact.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend who passed away. Male breast cancer is so rare that most men don't even realise they can get breast cancer. Your letter helps to highlight this important fact to a under-represented group of breast cancer sufferers.

Your closing shows your positive outlook and hope for a future cure to this deadly disease.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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94
94
Review of Blog @ Work  
for entry "Letter to Cancer " 
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024 ,

I chose to review your item today as part of my "a very Wodehouse challenge" 

Thank you for sharing your views and fears in your "Dear Cancer" letter.

There are a lot of women who similarly put off having their mammogram for fear of the unknown. But it's not just mammograms. It's people not doing bowel cancer screening, it's women not going for their smears, it's men not getting their prostate checked - people don't want to find out something they don't know they have.

I can certainly understand your aversion to chemotherapy, especially as you have seen its effects first hand. It's one of the most aggressive ways there is to treat cancer, but it is really only used in treating breast cancer if the cancer has spread beyond the breast. Breast cancer is easier to treat than lung or cervix cancer, and there are a lot more options to treat breast cancer. And with the combination of the newer chemotherapies and drugs to combat the side-effects, a lot of patients actually cope really well.

I appreciate the way how you have not held back from sharing something very personal. Your letter gives us an insight into you and the way you approach this disease.

I'm glad to know that you went for your mammogram and all was well.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~hating university


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WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
95
95
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen ,

*Carr* You are being reviewed in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Party RAID! *Carr*


I am also here with a Very Wodehouse review.

*BulletB* Title and image:

The title of your contest is a very positive one. Although people still die from breast cancer, it is no longer the death sentence it was. In fact, even metastatic breast cancer is now thought of as a chronic condition by many.

I like the use of the various shades of pink in your forum header image, since pink is the breast cancer awareness colour.

*BulletB* Forum:

I like the personal introduction, as it gives contestants an explanation as to how your contest came about. Your inclusion of facts about breast cancer helps to remind us that it is a disease that affects everyone.

Your rules are few and are clearly laid out. I especially like that you allow editing all the way up until the deadline.

Your prizes are very generous, and I like that you include an Awardicon and a Merit Badge. You have included links to previous winners and entrants, and this helps to share other members experiences.

I also like the contrasting use of purples and pinks throughout.


*BulletB* Closing remarks:

You have a popular contest here and one that can help members come to terms with either their own diagnosis or that of a friend or family member.

I hope this contest continues to run for a long time.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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96
96
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow! Very cool story, Elizabeth.

It kept me reading right until the end. I also liked the way how you included the Harry Potter book in your story.
97
97
Review of The Survivalist  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon ,

I chose to review your item today as part of my challenge at "a very Wodehouse challenge" .

*BulletB* Title:

Your title is very apt for your piece, and it gives a clear idea as to where your story is going.

*BulletB* First impression:

Your story is a nice flash piece of dystopian science fiction. It fulfils the prompt requirements, without taking the reader on a 1950s sci-fi B-movie trip.

*BulletB* General impressions:

Your story moves along at a quick pace. It has a beginning, middle,and ending, which is really great to see in a 500ish word piece of flash.

I liked the inclusion of the Doomsday Clock. It's not something I've seen included in many dystopian stories for some reason, but it adds a degree of realism to your story.

Bob is an absolute survival nut who goes to extreme measures to ensure he survives whatever is about to come. I've seen people on YouTube and stuff who have fallout shelters in their back garden and are stocked to the gills with MREs and canned goods. They say that the will to survive overrides all things in humans, but I'm not sure if that applies to humans who want to become another species.

Bob is clearly intelligent, though I do have to question his sanity. Perhaps he is simply one of those people who have tunnel vision, and once he is fixated on an idea, he pursues it to the exclusion of all other things.

I'm really impressed that I have not noticed any Spelling, Punctuation, or Grammar issues - though that could be because it's 2am here, and I should have been asleep in bed three hours ago *Laugh*

*BulletB* Closing remarks:

Wishing you all the best for the Distorted Minds contest.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~hating university


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
98
98
Review of Rapunzel  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi RainbowFish ,

I chose to review your item today as part of my challenge at "a very Wodehouse challenge" .

*BulletB* First impression:

This is a great re-telling of a traditional fairy tale. I enjoy re-imaginings of fairy tales that bring something new, yet still leave the original recognisable.

*BulletB* General impressions:

I love how you have flipped a traditionally romantic fairy tale into a comedy.

The story moves along at a smooth pace, and your dialogue feels very natural.

I love the sassy princess - her bluntness reminds of Miranda Bailey from Grey's Anatomy. It makes a really nice change from the usual fairy tale helpless princess, who is just waiting for Prince Charming to make her life complete.

The prince is almost an anti-prince. The way he keeps on changing who he is adds a nice bit of comedy to the story, and for some reason reminds me of the cartoon character King Rollo.

*BulletB* Favourite quotes:

*Starfishb*“Seriously?” she said. “You didn’t bring a ladder?”

*Laugh* My thoughts exactly. What genius originally came up with the idea of the prince climbing up Rapunzel's hair!


*Starfishp* “What do you mean, my ‘scalp’?” queried Rapunzel

This line had me thinking for the rest of the story, what was up. This is some nice foreshadowing that all is definitely not as it first seems.

*BulletB* Line by line suggestions: These are included in the dropnote below. Your original work is in black, specific suggestions are in indigo, and additional notes/explanations for the change are in orange.

Line by line suggestions ▼

*BulletB* Closing remarks:

You have done a great job overall, and the story really deserves the ribbon that adorns it.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


Andy~hating university


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GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
99
99
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 💙 Carly ,

I am reviewing your item today for the I Write contest.

I'm not a huge fan of free verse, but I really liked this. You've made nice use of consonance and assonance throughout your poem, and that really appeals to me.

The opening of your poem captures the splendid display of a vibrant dawn. I like the way how you contrast all the promises of the new day with leaving the previous day behind.

Wishing you the very best of luck in Shadows and Light. I hope you have enjoyed this round of I Write.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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100
100
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Hi willwilcox,

I am reviewing your item today as you are currently highlighted at "Queen of Comedy Challenge" 

I really enjoy Beth's SPAM poetry contests, and you have written a suitably dreadful offering.

I enjoyed the way the darkness of your poem contrasts with the utter absurdity of the SPAM worship. You've elevated the humble SPAM to the level of a dark deity, and the children's dress and chanting creates a brilliant visual.

The last line is a great close. Although the reader expects something like this is coming, it still surprises.

You have misspelled "Altar" in the main title but have spelled it correctly in the body of the item.

You receive the obligatory One Star Rating. Just a shame that SM has not created minus stars yet *Laugh*

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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