Andy~hating university's (andy78) Reviews

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

,

I'm here again with a review for "Queen of Comedy Challenge"

.

Yet again you have managed to write a very funny poem using the much maligned limerick form.

I noticed that the two shorter lines do not have the same syllable count (five in the first and six in the second). Usually, different line lengths throw off the reading of a limerick, but for some reason it works here - maybe it's the different word stresses in the two lines that hides it??

Your old man really could only come from Niagra

Luckily for you, there was an appropriately named place to start off your limerick, otherwise this little ditty would have, erm, flopped

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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102

#4299786

Review of The Zombie Diner

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

,

'Tis another review for thee for being highlighted at "Queen of Comedy Challenge"

First impression:

This is a brilliant poem, and I really loved the twist at the end.

General impressions:

Your narrator has a very unique dining experience with the living dead. You have done a nice job of going through the diner menu, and it really adds to the humour of your poem.

All the way through I thought that the zombie thing was going to turn out to be a marketing ploy of some kind, so the ending really delivered on both the dark humour and shock value.

Favourite quotes:

She set the table, knives and forks
and a small piece of chin.

Well, it makes a nice change from a roll and some butter

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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103

#4299768

Review of Hapenis

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

,

I'm reviewing your item today since you have been highlighted at "Queen of Comedy Challenge"

First impression:

What more can I say? This is a really funny poem filled to the brim with metaphor and innuendo.

General impressions:

You have done a great job with your ode to the chode

Of course, there are the numerous references to sex and erections and other bodily functions, but you have worked in a little bit of a story.

I do like the fact that despite your poem's theme and content, you have not made it too smutty and low-brow.

Favourite quotes:

With yellow ink, we inscribe ancient runes until complete
and then, the mystic ritual done, I let you slip away

That all important morning ritual

I really liked the first line here, as its a really clever way to describe the morning ablutions.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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104

#4299348

Review of Choosing the Right Word

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating

,

I chose to review your item today as my review requirement for I Write.

First impression:

This is a clever little poem extolling the virtues of choosing the right word in poetry, and showing what can go horribly wrong if the wrong word is used.

General impressions:

Your poem has a smooth flow to it, and your heavy use of consonance and assonance throughout gives it a very musical quality.

I like the idea of the metaphors and similes shining light on a poem. I remember my English teacher back in secondary school drumming into our heads that metaphors were the driving force behind poetry - they were usually the first thing a reader looks for.

Favourite parts:

I love the "k-sound" consonance in the last line of the first stanza and the "s" consonance in the first line of the second stanza. It really makes for a seamless transition between the two stanzas.

Closing remarks:

This is a really great poem, Neva, and I wish you the very best of luck with it in the What's Your Line contest. I hope you have enjoyed I Write so far, and that you complete the challenge.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

105

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#4298500

Review of Humble Pi

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

,

I chose to review your item today as you have been highlighted at "Queen of Comedy Challenge"

.

I love maths-themed riddles and poems, and this is a really clever poem.

When someone describes their poem as an ode I expect it to glorify the subject, and your poem does that in leaps and bounds. Your poem is also a fitting tribute for Pi Day.

I love that you have described pi in the various ways, and not just limited yourself to the fact that it is the relationship between a circle and its diameter.

Your poem has a smooth flow to it. The transition from stanza to stanza is seamless.

There is nice use of consonance and assonance throughout your poem. There is also clever use of enjambment in the last two lines of the poem. I was a little surprised by the absence of letter P consonance since your subject lends itself so easily, but a part of me is also impressed by its absence since it is an obvious thing to include.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

106

#4298499

Review of Double Wide

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

,

I chose to review your item today as you have been highlighted at "Queen of Comedy Challenge"

First impression and form:

This is a really fun and enjoyable poem. You've done a great job of capturing the stereotypical red-neck themes throughout.

Your poem is in ABCB quatrains, and your poem hold true to the conventions of the form throughout.

General impressions:

The humour runs throughout your poem, but you can still catch glimpses of romance. You do a great job of transitioning smoothly from one stanza to the next, and I like the way how the stanzas progress telling the couple's story from their first meeting.

I just loved the whole closing stanza. I won't provide a quote and spoil it for readers, but it really is the crowing glory of your poem.

Favourite quotes:

her tramp stamp sliding down to hide
behind her neon lime-green thong.

her leopard leggings stretched so tight
that spots looked more like tiger stripes

These two sets of lines really made me chuckle. They both provide a brilliant visual of your red-neck angel, whilst taking the stereotype to absurdity.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

107

#4298498

Review of The King of Texas

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

,

I chose to review your item today as you have been highlighted at "Queen of Comedy Challenge"

.

This is exactly what a limerick should be: humorous and filled with innuendo. Who wants to read a clean limerick?

Your longer lines have different syllable counts, unlike the usual requirement of a limerick, but it works really well and doesn't detract from the reading.

I love the last line as it incorporates two of the classic icons of kingship, whilst providing a suitable phallic metaphor.

My only suggestion is in the opening: "A oil rich" should be "An oil rich".

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

108

#4297097

Review of Green Tea

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Jay O'Toole

,

I like this poem. I'm not a fan of oriental forms, but you have created a really nice poem.

Your poem conforms to the rules of the form, and I like the musical quality of the step rhyme pattern.

You capture the idea of tea drinkers as being civilised, and that tea is viewed as something that is drunk in a serene environment. It's easy for the reader to imagine themselves at one of the classy London restaurants like the Ritz or Savoy for afternoon tea.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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109

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#4295365

Review of Listening to Raindrops

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating

,

I'm reviewing your item today as part of I Write (which I just remembered I still needed to do

First impression:

I love the way you have captured the ways rain affects you.

Form and poetic devices:

Your poem conforms to the rules of a triolet.

Your two refrains are excellent choices as they reinforce the crux of your poem.

There is great use of personification of the rain throughout.

General impressions:

Your poem has a smooth flow to it. It's easy to visualise the rainfall and feel what the narrator feels.

You have written an enjoyable and clever poem, which is no small achievement given that half of the poem is made up of refrains.

Closing remarks:

Wishing you all the best in finishing I Write.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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110

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#4292006

Review of Autumn's Palette

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Rhoswen - Relentless Victory

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

I saw "Autumn's Palette"

on the Noticing Newbies page and thought I'd leave you a review.

Title:

The title of a piece is often the first thing that will capture a reader's attention. Your title is clever, and it immediately brings to mind the colourful season.

General impressions:

Although your poem is written in free verse, it is laid out in set quatrain stanzas - to me this reflects not only the free nature of autumn, but also the traditional aspects we associate with the season (the leaf-piles, the pumpkin-spice, and, for my part of the world, Guy Fawke's night).

Your poem has a smooth flow to it, as you have not written lines that are so varied in length. The centred layout of your poem also helps with the ease of reading.

You have captured the multitude of colours that the leaves become, and I like the numerous metaphors you use throughout your poem.

Favourite quotes:

Flamed with color

This is a very descriptive line. The mix of reds and yellows of the leaves can certainly create a wonderful visual of a fire.

Like fireworks against a midnight sky

This is my favourite metaphor in your poem. I've seen forests so file dwith autumnal colours that it really does look like a fireworks display.

Crimsons and rust dance in the wind
While gold and silver litters the ground

I like these two lines. You capture the winds that come with autumn, and the lackadaisical way only some of the fallen leaves are captured by the gusts.

Closing remarks:

You have done a great job with your poem, and I hope that you enjoy your time here on WDC.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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111

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#4289755

Review of Great Act of Mercy + The Royal Treasures

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi CJ Reddick

,

This is a "Invalid Item"

review, as part of your winning package from "Wdc 16th Birthday Masquerade Party"

First impression:

I enjoyed your poetic version of this well-known story from the Bible. It adds personality to the adulteress' story without straying from Scripture.

Form and poetic devices:

Your poem consists of quatrains in AABB rhyme, though I do like the use of the close rhymes of known/stones and restored/more.

Your poem makes great use of consonance and assonance throughout - especially the switches between words with a soft "c" and hard "c" creating unexpected consonance. I also like the metaphors you have used in the first stanzas.

General impressions:

Your poem has a smooth flow to it, and the transition from one stanza to the next is seamless.

When I was (much) younger, this was one of my favourite passages from the Bible. I can remember when I about eight-years-old taking great pleasure telling my primary school teacher where the expression "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" came from. The look on her face was priceless

It's never easy to stay true to an original source when writing your own version of it, but you have achieved this. There is enough paraphrasing of the original to identify your source, but not so much embellishment that you change the meaning or intent of the Verse.

Favourite quotes:

My sins are my dress, my shame is my crown.

This line deserves to be highlighted twice. You have chosen two clever, yet easy to visualise, metaphors.

We are all familiar with patchwork quilts and blankets, so visualising a dress made up of individual patches of sin does not require a huge stretch of the imagination.

It is a common idea for people to hang their head in shame, and so visualising it as a crown is easy.

Because of the great act of mercy towards me.

This line perfectly sums up Jesus' philosophy and what he tried to teach us all. I also like it because of the letter "c" consonance created by the hard "c" in "because" and "act" and then the clever shift to a soft "c" in "mercy" (creating consonance with "towards").

Closing remarks:

This was an enjoyable poem to read, and I look forward to reading more of your work. It is clear to see your poem was gifted an Awardicon.

I have no suggestions for improvement, so your poem earns a very well-deserved five stars from me.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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112

#4253883

Review of Dark places in the mind

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi SWPoet

,

I'm back with another review for my Very Wodehouse.

I really like this poem. You have done a great job of capturing the dark that surrounds us. The world is filled with contrasting concepts (dark cannot exist without light, good cannot exist without evil, summer cannot exist without winter), and your poem exemplifies them all.

To write about, or to accept the existence of, this darkness, to really embrace it all, we must look all gift horses in the mouth and find the dark clouds in every silver lining. It's not an easy thing to do, but I think everyone should try it at least once and see where it leads.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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113

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#4253875

Review of The Golden Rule

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi SWPoet

,

I'm reviewing your poem today as part of my "a very Wodehouse challenge"

.

Your poem on the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” gives plenty of food for thought. This is a far easier concept to talk about than to actually follow; it is far easier to do unto others as they do unto us (and this reaction is probably responsible for more ills in the world than anything).

I do like the way how you turn the concept around by asking what we expect from ourselves. There is plenty of speculation within your poem about what we would actually want done unto us, and to be honest, without putting a lot of thought into it, I have no idea what I would want.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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114

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#4253011

Review of Hauntings & Halloween

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi The StoryMistress

,

I chose to review your item today as part of Hannah ♫♥♫

's activity "Invalid Item"

Title:

I like the alliterative quality of the title of your cNote shop. Although there are so many different things associated with Halloween, hauntings by ghosts is probably the first thing that most people thing of.

First impression:

I enjoy Halloween - it really appeals to the big kid in me. There aren't many actual Halloween holiday cards to send people (at least not here in the UK), so this is a great idea for members to be able to send Halloween greetings to each other.

General impressions:

You have a nice little Halloween collection of cNotes. This is a great way to help raise funds to keep WDC running.

I like the cliparty feel to them - it makes them appropriate to give during the season, without being overly scary. They can therefore be sent to any member without having to worry unduly if the recipient will get something that they find inappropriate.

There is a variety of cNotes for members to pick from, and they are all very reasonably priced. No member will be priced out of sending some Halloween cheer to a friend.

Favourite cNotes:

I love the Happy Halloween cNote of the Jack O'Lantern on the broom. The image itself calls to mind cartoon-like characters such as Jack Skellington, from Tim Burton's "Nightmare Before Christmas", and the Headless Horseman, from Disney's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. I also like the wording of the note being "from one ghoul to another" - this is a nice Halloweeny touch.

The Happy Halloween cNote with the witch is my other favourite. I adore the olde worlde look of the image. It looks like something out of the Fifteenth or Sixteenth Century, and helps to take us back to the days when witches were something to be feared and definitely not someone you want to give candy to

The wording on the cNote nicely captures the spirit of the Halloween season.

Closing remarks:

You have a wonderful collection of cNote shops in your portfolio. The only thing missing from this cNote shop is an Awardicon. I'll have to correct that oversight.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

115

#4251001

Review of DRAGON (acrostic poem 6 lines)

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Jason

,

I chose to review your item today as part of the August Speculative Spectacular Raid.

Title and form:

As with all acrostics, your title is constrained by the choice of the words the acrostic will spell out.

Your poem conforms to the solitary requirement of an acrostic, where the first letter of each line spells out your chosen phrase. The acrostic form is very often forgotten about as it is a relatively simple form to write.

I like that you have used end rhymes in your poem. Whilst not a requirement of the Acrostic form, it does add a nice extra dimension to your poem.

General impressions:

You have written a nice little poem about dragons. It's easy to see your dragon flying high overhead, breathing fire and destruction on its victims. I particularly like the closing line as it helps to reinforce the perceived nature of dragons.

You have created an image of the quintessential dragon, with its sharp claws and orange eyes.

Closing remarks:

Congratulations on winning Eyestar's Dragon Acrostic contest. The orange Awardicon graces a very worthwhile poem.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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116

#4246957

Review of My Poetry Nook

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi ShelleyA~13 years at WDC

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

First impression and image:

Folders don't get reviewed very often. I think largely because members forget that they can add images, text, and embed videos, Merit Badges, and the such in the "Your writing goes here" box - meaning that folders typically end up being very bland or just containing a one or two line description as to what the folder contains.

The image fits nicely with your folder's theme. The bookish girl with the shelves behind her really creates the impression of being in a library.

I like that you have embedded three of your Merit Badges. The ones you have chosen (Writing, Poetry, and Creativity) help to reinforce this as a poetry folder, as they are all linked to the creative writing process.

General impressions:

You have a really impressive array of books and sub-folders within this folder. You have written a wide variety of poetry forms, themes, and have written for a number of poetry contests.

You also have a large number of awarded items in this folder which you must be very proud of; I even noticed more than one 50K Awardicon.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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[13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

117

#4246920

Review of I Had a Little Puppy

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Rhychus

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

Form:

Your poem is written in five stanzas of ABCB quatrain, and it conforms to the requirements of the form. The use of the word "puppy" at the end of several of the lines, especially in the first stanza, creates an impression of breaking the ABCB rhyme scheme, but it works nicely in this children's poem.

General impressions:

The poem has a smooth flow to it, and a very sing-song feel when read aloud. The consonance and alliteration created by the letters "c" and "l" in your first and last quatrains really help to set the tone of this as a children's poem.

Your poem reminds me of the nursery rhyme Incy Wincy Spider. The character of the flea would be very appealing to children, as he journeys from joy to sadness and back to joy as a result of the rainstorm.

I particularly liked the way you loop the closing quatrain back to the opening quatrain. This is something that is often seen in nursery rhymes and serves its purpose of reminding us that this is a children's poem.

Closing remarks:

Congratulations on placing in The Littlest Poetry Contest.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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[13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

118

#4246909

Review of There're things we'll never know

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Rhychus

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

Title and image:

Your title is intriguing, and it was the first thing that drew me to this poem. The title is very appropriate for your mystery themed poem.

I found it really bizarre to have a toilet for your cover image, and just had to find out what this poem was all about.

Form:

Your poem is written in five stanzas of ABCB quatrain, and it conforms to the requirements of the form.

I like the use of consonance created by the letter "s" throughout your poem, and the alliteration in the second stanza.

General impressions:

You have done a great job of showing the mystery surrounding the break-in at your narrator's house. Only stealing the toilet roll from the bathroom is just so out there that it shows what a great job you have done with choosing your title.

This bizarre "crime" ties in nicely with the sentiment expressed in your title and in the closing stanza.

Closing remarks:

Congratulations on having your poem featured in one of the site Newsletters.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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[13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

119

#4241081

Review of A Message Sent out to Sea

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi turtlemoon-dohi

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

First impression:

This is a lovely poem that speaks of unconditional love that endures forever, and the closeness of both lovers.

Form:

I don't recognise a specific form. The use of "as it must be" at the end of each stanza is reminiscent of the various refrain forms, but this isn't one I recognise.

General impressions:

I love the use of poetic devices in your poem such as alliteration, consonance, and assonance. It creates a lovely tone and smooth reading flow to your poem.

There is a clear image throughout your poem of the petite perfume bottle fighting the stormy sea to send a couple of words of love from your narrator to their lover.

Favourite quotes:

letting go, not a loss, no lamenting,

shimmering water-song. Sent lovingly

I like the consonance in these lines created by the "l" and "t" sounds in the first quote and the letter "s" in the second line. The consonance created by the letter "s" is nicely dispersed throughout your poem.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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[13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

120

#4238899

Review of Christmas Eve

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi ,

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

First impression:

Christmas and Christ are popular choices for poems, and you have written a nice poem on Christ.

General impressions:

I like how you progress the basic story of Jesus from the first stanza, where you describe his birth, through his death and resurrection, in the final stanza.

Your poem has a smooth flow to it, and I like the use of consonance and assonance. Your poem sounds as though it is written is catalectic trochaic tetrameter - this is an usual choice, but it creates a lovely rhythm when read aloud. Typically, English metered poetry is written in Iambic feet.

Favourite quotes:

Hallowed night of Christmas Eve

Your opening line sets the tone for your poem. You open with a reference to the arrival of Mary and Joseph, and that is a good a place as any for your poem to start.

Bright the stars in Winter's chill

This line is a lovely reference to the Star of Bethlehem and Jesus' birth in December.

We should tread the path He trod

This is a great message to spread. Christmas has become so commercialised the world over, that I'd be surprised if most children even know what the true meaning of Christmas is.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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[13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

121

#4238788

Review of Courtney

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi Tab

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

First impression:

This was a really enjoyable poem about an uncle and his terrible niece.

General impressions:

You have captured Courtney's attitude brilliantly. You allow her child-like mischievousness and pouting to come through, whist still maintaining her innocence and naivety.

The antics that she gets up to drive her uncle insane, as he struggles to cope with babysitting. I've babysat my cousin's kids a few times and had more than a few thoughts of just leaving them somewhere to fend for themselves

Favourite quotes:

little princess Courtney

I love this little epithet for the three year old. It fits in nicely with what you poem shows us of her.

“I just took it without asking!”

This is a typical child's response

The simplicity of her response is typical of a child.

“Momma, can I come back tomorrow?”

This is a brilliant line and had me laughing. It's like the poor uncle has just had a death sentence pronounced on him.

Closing remarks:

This poem was a well-deserved winner of the Humorous Poetry Contest and thoroughly deserves the Awardicon that graces it.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

[13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

122

#4238761

Review of Just the right place and time.

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Moarzjasac

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

Title:

I was hunting around for a second item to review, and this title drew me in. It holds a lot of possibilities as to what it could mean.

First impression:

Your short story delivers the promise of your title, but in a very a subtle way. There is nothing in it that screams out to the reader or grabs by the collar and drags you to the conclusion. Instead, it whispers of deeds and unhappiness, and winks and nudges at possibilities.

General impressions:

This flash piece does a nice job of reeling the reader in. You need to really concentrate to pick up on the subtleties. A lot of flash fiction, especially when it's this short, is very in your face with action, or it's blunt and straight to the point.

Your story hints at a very unhappy woman. We are left to fill in the gaps as to the reasons for her unhappiness, but this allows the reader's imagination to take flight - the reasons for her unhappiness are as varied as your readers.

Favourite part:

The ending. The way you finish the story leaves the reader wanting more, and wondering just what will happen.

Closing remarks:

You have a nice varied port, and I have enjoyed trawling through it this evening looking for items to review.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

[13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

123

#4238744

Review of the eyes of a child

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi Moarzjasac

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

First impression:

Your poem nicely reflects the honesty and wonder of children, before they grow up.

General impressions:

Your poem has a smooth flow to it. I like the consonance in your poem created by the letter s and the s-sounds throughout your poem.

You capture the innocence of children nicely in your poem, this is especially seen in the third stanza. I love the visuals of the bubbles in sunlight and the rings of colour.

Your narrator yearns to see the world as he once did, through the eyes of a child. When we grow up we take on a whole load of baggage, we pick up prejudices and preconceptions, and we lose that ability we once had to make friends at the drop of a hat.

Favourite quotes:

I pray that these who pass me by, can restore
Innocence back to its rightful place of safety

These lines are filled with consonance, and that creates a nice harmony when reading. The lines also epitomise your narrator's hopes and dreams.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

[13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

124

#4235365

Review of The Climb To Nothingness

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Elycia Lee ☮

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

First impression:

Your poem captures the stark reality that the disappointments of the transition from childhood to adulthood can be.

General impressions:

Your poem sounds very personal, and I get the impression that this is you talking about yourself.

We all imagine how grand life will be when we grow up, but we so often find that it is nothing like we expect. Adult life is a struggle and a constant challenge, and we only find out when it's too late, that adults often make it seem all too easy.

Favourite quotes:

When I reached a peak, to see a star,
The star was far away.

Your opening couplet beautifully sets the tone for your whole poem. We've all been there. We put in the effort to reach our goals, only to find that the goalpost has moved without us realising it.

Lost I was and dreams adrift,

This line speaks to me of someone who is at a crossroads. They realise that they don't have all the answers to the questions they are being asked.

Though I do question the use of the word "and" in this line - it doesn't sound quite right to me. Maybe consider "Lost I was in dreams adrift"

Closing remarks:

This was an enjoyable read, and you have some really lovely lines contained within it. It has been a pleasure reading your poems today.

Thank you for sharing your work with us! Write On!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

[13+]
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

125

#4234321

Review of Shannon's cNote Chalet

Review by Andy~hating uni...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Shannon

A "Game of Thrones" House Martell Review!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

Title and image:

I love the alliteration and consonance created by the title of your cNote shop. You also have a lovely image of snow-covered chalets at the head of the shop that makes it feel so welcoming.

First impression:

This is a really nice collection of cNotes that cover a wide range of events from Christmas, to Fourth of July, and you have even included St Patrick's Day.

General impressions:

I like the way how you have set up your cNote shop, with all of the mini-shops in it. I like that you have a "contents list" at the head of each mini-shop so that members don't have to keep on going to the main shop page to jump arund.

You have a really amazing collection of images. I love that they are all different in context - some are serious, some are cartoony, some are more traditional.

Favourite parts:

The child/parent images for the Mother's Day and Father's Day cNotes are just so adorable.

Thank you for sharing your talent with us!

Lord Andy~Sunspear of Martell

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