|For such a short story, there is actually a lot here. We open with Bella leaving for NYC to pursue her acting career. The first thoughts I had, though somewhat irrelevant, is "how can she afford such a nice apartment in NYC"? Maybe a line devoted to that could help flush out her character. While the character of Ashley was very well developed, I felt I could pick her up at the airport, Bella, our main character, was a little less developed. While she seems likable enough, the only thing we really know about her as a character is that she went to theater school and went to NYC to be an actress. We don't really know anything deeper about her history or her motivations. I think her character could be a little more developed in order for the reader to be more invested in her. As it stands, the reader really only gets to know her as a counterpart to Ashley's devilishness. The character of Alex seems really extraneous. We are just presumed to want him to hook up with Bella because he's the handsome lead, but we don't really know naything about him. Yet in the end she marries him and lives happily ever after. Why does she even want to be with him? We don't know. I would recommend flushing out his character more, or doing away with him altogether.
There is no real attention paid to setting at all. We get a brief description of her apartment, but none of the story really takes place there, so it's kind of irrelevant. (except for the prior mentioned distraction of how she could afford such a place). There is no real descriptions of the theater or the city where the rest of the story takes place. I suggest engaging more of the senses to create more atmosphere.
Dialogue is a strong point in this story. It comes off as realistic and natural and moves the story forward, and helps to flush out the characters.
POV is third-person omniscient and the story is written in the past tense. These remain consistent throughout the story.
Grammar and spelling are excellent. I found no errors in that department. The story reads clearly and has good flow and pacing; it is very well-composed.
The plot: I enjoyed this story, and read happily right along. While I wasn't particularly invested in Bella, I did want to see her succeed, especially over the diabolical Ashley. Although Ashley doesn't seem that smart. Giving Bella bleach to drink seems over the top. If she had succeeded Bella would have immediately known what happened and pressed charges, of course. Ashley is obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed.
A tale of determination and struggle between rivals, it's a classic theme, and holds up. While it isn't the most original plot, certainly there's been many a story told about rival actresses, it doesn't come off as stale. Overall I think it's a very well-written story and was a quick, enjoyable read. It resolves nicely with Bella's success, although the final paragraph listing everything that happened to her later in life seemed a bit much, like a whole bunch of sudden telling vs showing. I think the story can just end with the success of the show. But that's just my opinion.
I think this story is good, and has potential to be great with some attention given to characterization and setting. I enjoyed reading it, and I'm glad you brought it to my attention. Remember my suggestions are only suggestions, of course. Thank you for sharing, keep writing!