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Review Requests: ON
366 Public Reviews Given
675 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and critical reviews offered. I look at all components of story-telling: setting, dialogue, characterization, conflict and resolution. I will not generally do a line-by-line edit, though I will point out minor errors. If a piece needs a complete rewrite for grammar and spelling I will tell you so. I do not sugar-coat. I try to be insightful and will offer honest suggestions where I think are necessary.
Favorite Genres
horror, comedy, romance, erotica, drama, emotional
Least Favorite Genres
spiritual or religious
Public Reviews
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Review of One Evening  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a rhyming poem in aaaa bbbb format. It is a first-person account of an interaction with a UFO. It describes the scene and events well. This is a light-hearted, somewhat silly poem, and the rhyme scheme works well for the subject matter. The rhyme is well-executed, though the rhythm is somewhat off. This could be improved with a set number of syllables per line. A story poem, it is an amusing piece of work. It made this reader smile.


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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (5.0)
An extraordinarily in-depth definition and instructions on how to write a ghazal poem. The author has taken great care with the detail available in this article. There is a history of the form, there is a detailed description on how to write the poem, there are examples of the poem. There is a q & a on common queries regarding ghazal poetry. I found this article to be exceedingly well-written, professionally displayed, and incredibly informative. To come across such elaborate information on a poetic form is rare, and this covers all the bases of any questions anyone might have about this special form. Excellent writing.


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Review of Laps of bliss  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (4.0)
A poem about taking a swim in the early morning. This has a peaceful, tranquil tone to it, in the way the author describes both the setting and the experience of taking this swim. There is a good use of imagery and language in the poem free verse poem, and it paints an adequate picture of the water and the morning. My favorite part was the image of the ripples of water like gold dust, I thought that was particularly visual.


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Review of Razor-blade  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A dark free verse poem with some violent imagery, this poem it unsettling and unique. There are so many lines I really like, my favorite probably being the one about mothers and fathers. The use of the words razor blade repeat in such a way that they bludgeon the reader, it's unavoidable. A effective piece of writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a touching essay in which the author discusses the relationship they have with hot coffee, and the reason why they now drink their coffee iced.

I liked the way this essay was organized. How it begins with the first experience with hot coffee that was had, and how it documents the various occasions in which the hot beverage was consumed. In this essay, coffee is representative of the author's relationship with their mother. It was something that bonded them, and that the author will always relate to their mother. Hence, after her death, they are unable to consume hot coffee without feeling mournful of the mother's death. The solution to this is to switch to iced coffee.

I found this to be an interesting and moving tribute not to coffee, but to the author's mother. It held my attention throughout, and was overall well-written, although I did find some minor errors.

I wondered what that marvelous smelling liquid was that Dad seemed to enjoy more then the comics = {more than

I used to drink my coffee the same way she drink it, = the way she drank it

Every morning, since Mom died, I have drink at least three cups of hot coffee. = I drink at least three cups

For seven months, every time I drink coffee I remembered a shared holiday rituals that went along with the coffee. = either I drank coffee or every time I drink coffee I remember a shared holiday

All in all, I enjoyed this essay!


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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
What an interesting subject for a poem. Just goes to show that when you think about it the right way you can write about anything. I can envision this perfectly from your descriptions, and also because my husband makes my son do the same thing! lol. I particularly liked the use of sound-words in this, the tap-tapping and rap-rapping, giving a auditory rhythm to it. I'm curious about the layout of the poem, if it's meant to be a sort of nail form? My favorite part is the comparison to being a chiropractor, I thought that was clever.


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Review of Desmond Doss  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
What an interesting poem. I feel educated. I've never heard of Desmond Doss, but of course, conscientious objectors don't get as much attention as generals. This poem made me feel elated. I cheered for the character who in the end proved himself to be braver than those from whom he tolerated ridicule. I think you did a great job of telling the story vividly and succinctly through poetry. I will remember the story of this particular soldier. Great subject matter, and very good composition.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A poem that can't help but bring back the reader's own experiences with those first experiments of love. You paint a picture of a time period, of moments in youth stolen and discovered. You use the description of music that gives those moments a soundtrack. Reading it I felt like a voyeur of a tender vignette of youthful exploration and friendship evolved. My favorite line is the opening line. It drew me right in.


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Review of War of Words  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (5.0)
The most interesting part of this poem I think, is the way it makes me feel like I can almost hear the argument taking place. Machine-gun chatter is such a powerful image, following through with the idea that words can rend the air, and then the quiet statement at the end does give a sense of finality, the word "silence" cuts through the noise of the rest of the poem. Excellent word choice. A very powerful piece for being just a 24 syllable poem. Good job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Deceit  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a free verse poem that details a love grown stale. It is a mournful, emotional piece. It drew me in immediately with the opening lines. Then there are images that are easy to envision, the meaningless sounds like breezes,(my favorite part) and the idea of touching one that no longer feels. A dark, rather hopeless poem, but powerful in its language and purpose. Well done.


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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (5.0)
A bittersweet poem about a lost love from youth. The reader is pulled into this almost lyrical piece of poetry by your descriptions of young love, and how it feels to think back on the one that got away. In fact you use that terminology as your final line in the poem which sums it up beautifully. It has almost a mournful tone to it, but there is a level of light involved as well, in the gentle recollection. An absolutely lovely piece of writing, that made me feel nostalgia for my own seventeen year old love.


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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (5.0)
A poem about the current president and political climate. This is a solid criticism of the commander in chief that I can applaud wholeheartedly. The message is important and should be printed on fliers and stuck in every American mailbox. You managed to get your point across expertly employing rhyme as you are so inclined to do. The rhyme could take away from the seriousness of the subject matter, but in the end it doesn't. It works very well, and it makes me want to shake your hand. This has a great rhythm and flow, and works great when read aloud.


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Review of Through My Window  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (5.0)
A rhyming poem in couplets, this poem is ripe with vivid imagery of all the seasons, as observed by one somewhat melancholy person through the window. The reader gets the sense of being an observer of this author for whom life has taken a sadder turn, and he seems lost to the outside world, rather gazing from the inside looking out. I really liked the detailed descriptions of the seasons. A lovely, mournful piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (4.5)
You have a talent for rhyme, for sure. This is another poem that has a fantastic flow and rhythm to it. The rhyme seems to come naturally and doesn't feel stilted and like you've tried to hard. It all just fits together and paints a little story for the reader to follow. I particularly liked the third stanza and the use of the word "smaltzy"--an uncommon word that sums up a precise feeling.


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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem brings to mind a child that has been abandoned, and is exploited by those around him. He knows no comfort, experiences poverty and hardship, a child who belongs to no one or anywhere. The poem has a mournful, hopeless tone, as in the end when the author refers to himself in a derogatory way, as to imply that all the negativity has sunken so deep it can't be escaped. This is a rhyming poem, which is a challenging choice for such dark poem, and rhyme has a tendency to sometimes lighten the subject matter. As this poem is one atrocity after another though, the rhyme does not detract. It is a well-written, emotional, evocative poem.


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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (4.0)
A short little story about Lily, a woman who had been a dork in high school and is preparing for her reunion. She decides to get a spray tan to prepare, but things do not go as planned.

This story was so short, I find myself wondering if there was a word count limit for it's composition. There are many elements to story-telling missing.

The story is in third-person limited POV in the past tense, and is consistent.

It's told from the perspective of Lily. Characterization is there but limited. we are told that Lily was a dork in high school. We are told that she is now quite successful by any measure: good job, good man, good apartment.

Actually the reader is told pretty much everything in this tale, without any showing of details.

There is virtually no setting. We are told she has a great apartment, but we are not given any details. She goes to a tanning salon, but there is no descriptive language of the salon. None of the senses are engaged.

There is no dialogue. This is fine, but we are told she has a great boyfriend, we could be perhaps shows this through dialogue with him, for example.

I saw no errors in grammar or spelling.

The plot, that she experiences a mishap while tanning, and then ends up making the opposite impression that she wanted to at her reunion , is funny and resolves nicely. I like the way the story ends.

Overall, I think this story could be flushed out a lot more to draw the reader into Lily's world a bit more, and make the reader even more invested in how it all turns out. But what there was of the story was well-written and amusing. Normally I would rate it three stars as it's lacking in areas, but as I suspect it's written with an abbreviated allowance for word count, I give it a four. It's a good story. :)


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Review of Mama Said  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A chilling account of a child who has committed murder.

The POV of this story in the first person, past tense, told from the perspective of a reporter who has come to a prison to interview a killer.

The characterization of Anthony, the teenage murderer is strong. There wasn't a lot of physical description of him aside from having looked like he hadn't slept. It could use a little more physical description to get a better image of him. However, his personality really comes through in the dialogue of the interview. He talks about his feelings of being repressed by his mother, and his bitterness over the way he was being raised. We get a very good feeling for the life he was living with his mother, and his motivations for murder. The reporter on this other hand, is excited to get the opportunity for the interview, but that is really where personal information on his/her thoughts end. The reporter is nameless, genderless, and doesn't reveal really any of his thoughts on what is happening in the interview. While the reporter shows sympathy for Anthony, the reader doesn't know if this is genuine, or manufactured in order to get Anthony to open up. There is a lot of room for you to play with the character of the reporter, especially as the story is told from their perspective.

Setting isn't overly atmospheric, maybe more senses could be engaged. But there was a visual of the prison upon arrival, and a sense of being frantic to get away from the crowd that was good. I had a solid image of that opening scene.

Dialogue is the strong point of this story. There is a vernacular used by Anthony that comes off as conversational and natural, and is revealing of that character's voice. And that voice differs from that of the reporter, separating the characters through the sound of dialogue. A story that is mostly told through dialogue, as it is an interview, Anthony's experiences really come to life. It propels the story forward.

Grammar and spelling were excellent, I found no errors.

The plot was that of a reporter come to interview a child who has murdered his mother, and through the interview we learn the motivations for the murder and what exactly happened. It is intriguing subject matter, and it held my rapt interest all the way though. It resolved in a wonderful way, with Anthony's statement about sometimes still wanting his mother, it had an emotional affect on this reader.

Overall I thought it was a good story that with a little bit of tweaking could be an absolutely excellent story. I thoroughly enjoyed it.


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Review of Gray Rain  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was an interesting poem, with some great visuals and colorful language choices. I got a robust image of a cities waiting for a storm in dread, and of the storm itself. It seemed at first that it was going to be a poem about acid rain, but then in the last stanza it surprisingly introduces the subject of alien invasion. It was an unexpected twist to the story told by this free verse poem. The poem is thick with the emotion of dread. I liked it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (4.5)
A poignant list of regrets. It seems each one of these items could be a writing prompt for you in and of themselves, for each one evokes a feeling of interest from this reader, and I would be interested in reading further on each of the subjects presented. Evocative.


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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
An emotional story of a person who feels like love i lacking in their life, that they don't understand what love even is, even as they find themselves surrounded by lovers.

The setting is a bayside town, which I felt I got a very good feel for. (Being from Florida, I could envision it perfectly) but your descriptive language regarding the environment was quite vivid.

Characterization is strong, as the story is told in first-person POV and the reader gets to ride along in the character's head privy to their suppositions and insecurities.

The plot has the reader also question, what is it to be loved? And this story answers it as recognition. I found this to be quite insightful and unique. The subject of the story experiences a wide range of emotions in this piece, from disdain to sadness, to finally a sense of hope in the ending. I enjoyed being along for the ride as this character attempted to come to terms with their opinions on what love is.

A well-written story, very well edited, there were no errors that I spotted. Just a genuine emotional trip through one person's battle with themselves and their inner doubts.


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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An affectionate free verse love poem dedicated to a girl's car. The author takes the reader on a ride through various life happenstances and adventures. I felt by the end that I had real insight into the life of the author. I think this is a poem that anyone who has ever loved a car would be able to thoroughly appreciate, and and anyone that loves a love poem can also appreciate. My favorite part of this poem is the personification given the old car as he gets on through trials and tribulations. A very interesting choice of subject matter for a poem, I thought.


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Review of Cleansing  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A free verse poem about the cleansing power of a walk in the rain. It insinuates the author has experienced some troublesome times and and finds relief in a downpour that washes away the pain. I liked the idea of the rain being presented as a cleansing force for more than just the physical, but rather offering an uplifting experience to the author, and therefore the reader.


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Review of Schmoetry  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (5.0)
A simple senryu as the forms begs. I found it to be fun and tongue in cheek, sparking a bit of humor from me. The "I don't do haiku" as an introductory line definitely caught my attention, I can see why you had to roll with it and turn it into a poem. The fast that you could then turn it into its sister form, the senryu, just by talking about doing so is clever.


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Review of INDIFFERENCE  
Review by jabberwocky
Rated: E | (4.0)
A rhyming poem of quatrains that details the meeting of a beautiful woman that stirs the heart, only to marry her and in very short time find her demeanor to have changed to something less desirable. This poem is unique in that it is both a love poem, and lament for love lost. It has a solid rhyme and meter to it, and the story flows elegantly from the author's pen. I particularly liked the third stanza. Overall a good poem, well done!


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Review by jabberwocky
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A year that seemed at first like it was going to turn out well, but is instead turned on it's ear by a natural disaster . . . looking at the year this was written, I imagine it refers directly to Katrina. I like the images presented in the last stanza, the cigarettes, the crumpled dollar bill. An overall sense of giving in and and giving up permeates this pieces. Free verse gives it a conversational tone that works well for this poem. There is certainly a strong sense of resignation in the tone of this piece.


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