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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ashamoonfall
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513 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Rain  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Rather apt description of a rainstorm. I really like the first part where you put the rain is the earth crying in its tears. What I feel is missing, are the impressions of the smell of wet earth and the sting of the wind as the storm rages on. Apart from that, well done for a good effort.
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for entry "Prologue: Reborn
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
As soon as I read about the dwarven priest Vasmoik, dragons and magic, I was hooked. As I read through this, I could see you have something wonderful here. To me, at least, this prologue has it all. Magic, conflict, several fantasy races, did I mention dragons? Just one question were you possibly inspired by the Lord of the Rings? It has that feel to it. If you would like reader who will plough through the whole novel, well I DO love fantasy, so bring it on!
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Review of Red Man Rising  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very apt reminder that we do only have one planet to call home: Mother Earth. 'Black smoke on the blue horizon' a rather current and poignant verse, considering the fact the Amazon is burning right now. Just one question: are you talking about the Native American Indians in this excellent poem? I do agree. A simpler way of life would greatly assist our planet.
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Review of A Bridge Too Far  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is wonderfully brilliant and very funny indeed! His delight at finding out he won't turn to stone is fantastic. Was that little insert an homage to the scene from one of the Hobbit trilogy when Bilbo delays the trolls long enough for Gandalf to cover them in sunlight? Plus the scene when swear to give up the booze is very well crafted. This could be a start to a wonderful chiildren's book!
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5
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
Oh wow, I really couldn't stop laughing as I read through this lot of amazing verses! As per the rating I can only give you one star. You have a fantastic sense of humour. I've often see the result of after Valentines Day at work, when some of the younger members of staff have called in sick due to headaches caused by booze. I especially enjoyed the last set of verse. Gave one star due to the word shit, although I do completely agree. The little diaper wearing twerp can go to hell!
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hope this one helps too!
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Review of Serious Swagger  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome to WDC! Thank you for writing and uploading this freestyle poem for us to read and peruse, even review. As I read through this, I gained a sense of you describing some of the unfortunate consequences of fame when a songster has achieved it.

Well done for such a fine, first effort.
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Review of THE STINKY SINK  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well done! You've done something I know I will not be able to do! WRITE A GREAT LIMERICK! This really made giggle as I read through it. I hope Elizabeth enjoyed this limerick you crafted for her, I most certainly did! Thank you writing it. A good laugh, no matter what form it comes in, is a great treasure to be appreciated. Thanks!
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I agree with everything written in this article StoryMaster. Gift Points should be used in the context they were meant for! To help other writers grow in their craft and to make writing fun. It has been that way for me and other aspirant writers who wish to become more experienced in the craft we've chosen to follow.
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10
Rated: E | (4.5)
I must say, this is one of the more informative articles concerning the creation of characters I have seen here on WDC. This piece of excellent writing reminds of a book written by KM Weiland! Thank you for educating me in the art of writing today. Every writer, even aspirant ones such as myself need to read what they can!
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Review of Rindar's Chant  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I know this is listed under the self help category here on WDC, yet according to my thoughts this short little piece might have been placed within the wrong section. To my thoughts after a first read through, this seems to be within the MA/YA section, under the Fantasy/Science Fiction genres. Did you research and write this based upon the American Indians and other nomadic tribes?

Well done on that score if you did!
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12
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
What a fantastic tribute to The Eagles, especially Glenn Fray! I love the premise of this story. I was even more surprised to find song lyrics from The Eagles' hits scattered through this great piece of work. I now have an urge to go on Youtube and look up a playlist for all The Eagles' greatest songs, including my favourite: Hotel California. Thanks again for writing this wonderful tribute!
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This lovely little flash fiction clearly displays the folly of what can entail if you are even five minutes late! Or in a complete and utter hurry such as myself when attempting the last minute sprint for the morning bus. I do have one question though...

What happens to Ms Jones after she is pushed into the mysterious room? This curious person wishes to know! Maybe turn this into a longer sci-fi piece? I'd love that.
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Review of Airport Paranoia  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Even though this had been penned as an entry for Writer's Cramp, to me this seems to perfectly describe the chaos that seems to be in such abundance at airports! I've never been abroad myself or even flown on an aircraft before, after reading this and watching various programs about the various shenanigans taking place within such places, I'm now somewhat forewarned! Still, if the character or if you were trying to portray a sense of desperation of being within an air plane/airport, you've done it quite well!
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Review of Tender Delight  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for crafting such a fantastic poem. I've been in love before and I feel this set of lovely verses describes the highs and lows such a powerful feeling can bring. The euphoric highs, the crushing lows the feeling of love can bring forth in a person is amazing. This poem reminded me of that. Well done!
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Review of A Dogs Life  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I know the subject matter of this poem concerns dogs, but in my opinion, as a cat owner, this applies to cats as well! My lovely little tortoiseshell feline called Gizmo, has me properly trained, especially where food is concerned! If my cat could talk, Gizmo would probably tell you, my training is still ongoing! Thank you for such a great read!
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Review of The Elven King  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
The premise behind this short story is rather good. I just wish it were longer is all. This piece, I believe, possesses the ability to become a novel, or perhaps a series of novels. I can clearly see the story of the elven prince and human princess Nicoli slowly come to fruition over the course of a longer story.

The backstories of the two main characters I would love to see. Also how Nicoli came to bear the blood of dragons within her filial line also needs to be explained. Nicoli and the elvish prince, after I read through this more than once, seem to have unexplored depths to their respective personalities. Plus, you've got real guts writing and uploading a short story. I've not even managed that.

I enjoyed reading this. If you ever decide to make this into a full length novel or series, please look me up with the chapters. I'm a sucker for fantasy, especially fantasy aimed at 18 yr old or more!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Pants on Fire  
for entry "The Challenge
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
As us Brits say:

You really like taking the mickey out of your president don't you HuntersMoon? XD

Then again, considering his recent behaviour, these poems of yours are fantastic! I'll have to read the rest! They are quite funny! I wonder if you can write stuff like this concerning the new Lady PM we have? XD

Anyhow, wonderful stuff here!
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I completely agree about karma! I've often wished for things to happen for family and friends. Recently I've learned that one of my customers I serve at work has a daughter who recently gained a 1st in the degree she had been studying. Lucky her!

Still I often wish to be able to do this for myself. I've begun the steps to this by finding out what higher level courses I can do. Perhaps karma sometimes take a bit longer to help some people! In the meantime, I'm going to kick karma in the behind and try to see what I can do about making my University dreams come true. The reason for that, some of the management team at work, especially one person, has called me a mug for wanting to follow my dreams of becoming a writer, or for having a better life so:

COME ON KARMA!
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In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC Kevin. Well done on writing such a fine, worthy upload. Plus you gain credit for being able to use WritingML, unlike me.

This is very well written and I could clearly visualize the imagery as I read through the passages. I also wanted to leave a review and ask if you ever had ideas to turn this into a series of fantasy novels, as I personally believe this is that good!
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very well written and thought out article. I have always wondered how to write a cover blurb or description for a novel I am currently plotting out right now. This has been a great help. From a very grateful aspirant writer, you are being placed on my favourites list just incase you write something else that proves to be as useful as this.

Thanks again!
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is absolutely brilliant! Rather funny too! My boss, at the supermarket I work in, is rather like Kong. I do have one suggestion, find out if your boss has a hobby. Worked with mine. He likes fishing, so talking about fishing helped in a way. I have more hours at work now because of that!

I'm almost tempted to print this item and pin it to the staff noticeboard.

Thanks for the laugh!

Asha xxx
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In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I know this is a tad overdue, WELCOME TO WDC! Also congrats on taking on such an undertaking as CampNaNo. I've read through this, couldn't see any glaring errors at all. As a fellow NaNoer, well done on such a massive word count on your first upload.

1)Is your Camp project a YA or middle grade fantasy?
2)Is this a thriller or murder mystery?

Asha xxx
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Review of Only Children  
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is amazing how children can, both at the same time, give us adults a jolt of joyful chaos and creativity in two shots.

This wonderful little poem reminded me of a certain little incident that a child caused at work during the recent two week Easter break. Whilst the parents of this particular little tyke were shopping, said child decided to set the shop's fire alarm off by breaking the emergency glass over one of the switches near the store entrance!

My boss wasn't amused, but children will be children!

Asha xxx
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for writing this article, brimming with optimism. Here I was, lamenting the fact the adapter for my main laptop exploded somewhat, when I come across this. Thanks for giving me a virtual kick up the bum!

I'm gratified to hear your sight is improving! I hope this continues for the foreseeable future. Thanks again for the great message about positivity!

Asha xxx
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