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Review Requests: ON
1,146 Public Reviews Given
1,147 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a review template that is only used for in depth reviews, usually those that are specifically requested. These will be as comprehensive as I can manage, including everything I have noticed in reading the piece. Most of my reviews, however, are more in the nature of reactions to the piece with brief notes on things I find particularly good and suggestions on dealing with any obvious flaws in the writing.
I'm good at...
Reviews of stuff I particularly like. If I think the writing is good and the ideas original and inventive, I will say so and become enthusiastic about it. I will point out flaws, particularly where I feel that they interfere with a positive reaction to the piece, but I will also offer suggestions for fixing such problems.
Favorite Genres
I have a broad spectrum of genres I'll review. It's easier for me to list the genres I won't touch.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, erotica, overly dark subjects without a good reason for existence.
Favorite Item Types
I'm unsure what is meant by this - I would have thought the genres sections covered this.
Least Favorite Item Types
See previous section.
I will not review...
Again, see the genres section that lists the genres I won't review.
Public Reviews
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476
Review of Unmasked  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ah, you caught me there, sir. Part of the joy of reading short stories is the attempt to discern the twist before the writer gets to it and you have beaten me with this one. A delightful tale, especially in the descriptions which have to be so brief in flash fiction. I love the clouds spilling moonlight across the courtyard. The whole thing is a tour de force.


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477
477
Review of Balancing Act  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2123091 Unavailable **

Nice idea, to record your feelings with a couple of lines after every four. Achieves a sense of balance, I might even say!

It's an unusual prompt and your response is a perfect response to it. Meets the criteria but retains your right to make comments too. The urge toward independence remains within the American heart!

Most enjoyable. Even though I'm not crazy about rhyming.


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478
478
Review of Old Mermaids  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What an excellent story! I enjoyed every second of it. It's well written (of course) but what I really love is the philosophy behind it. This little story contains more wisdom than the weightiest tome and the most famous dogmas. Mermaids without tails or fins - the concept that brings enlightenment!

Kudos to the Riding Hood.


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479
479
Review of Her First Time  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2123091 Unavailable **

Ah, Zeke, you tell us not to jump to conclusions, knowing that we would. You even had me fooled (just a little bit) for a while. I was ready for the punchline but that may be because that's what short story writers deal in - the surprise ending. The reading public may be lured in more easily.

Well written and a nice idea. Can't fault it.


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480
480
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2123091 Unavailable **

Wow, better and better! This one is really great - I love the statements of how perfection would be so far above us, mounting up higher and higher until the collapse of the last verse. Brilliantly done and true, true, true!

This one's a real gem, Zeke.


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481
481
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2123091 Unavailable **

A wonderful love poem. Simple, no nonsense and honest, it speaks so clearly to your wife. This, again, is a type of poetry that I find very hard to write - it requires so much openness and vulnerability. You seem to be good at all the things I find impossible!

Truly great poem.


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482
482
Review of All the Time  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2123091 Unavailable **

Writing poetry about our faith is, I think, the most difficult thing to do of all writing tasks. I should know - I've failed at it so often that I gave up even the attempt for many years. Having a tentative go at it again now that I'm in WdC but I still find it incredibly hard. How to achieve the balance between honesty and not sounding self righteous, that is the problem.

With this, you achieve the deed. With these simple statements of your faith, there is no need to dramatise or perform. You point always to Him and in that you cannot go wrong. Well done.


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483
483
Review of Aloneness  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #2123091 Unavailable **

Realised it was about time I repaid you for all the reviews you've done for me. So I went to your portfolio...

Aloneness is an interesting poem. I have taken the liberty of assuming that it's really about you and that you have taken the journey from isolation to involvement. Hence your membership of WdC, no doubt. It's a product of our social nature that we find it hard to bear being alone for long periods. Many of us, artists (including writers) in particular needing to be alone at times, yet always we return to the "herd" for refreshment and interaction. That is where we get our inspiration, after all, even though we need time alone to reflect and allow creations to grow in us.

Your poem is a very complete statement of the problem and its solution. It is engaging and direct but could do with a little editing in the form of reducing length and avoiding repetition of ideas if not words. It is better to say something briefly with the right words than to hammer things home with repetition.

Not that you have done much of that. I just feel it needs some slimming here and there. Great poem, even so.


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484
484
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
To be honest, I'm sick of hearing what publishers think is the right or wrong way to go about writing. Let's face it - they are what they are because they failed in their real ambition to be writers. The fact that the vast majority of books accepted for publication are total failures, is an indication that they are not the wise and wonderful arbiters they think they are. Were you to pick books for publication by the "close your eyes and stick a pin in the pile" method, the statistics would probably be the same.

Personally, I don't write to genre. I write the dang story and decide afterwards what genre it is. Genre is the least important aspect of any piece of writing. All that matters is whether people read it or not.

Okay, you can all tear me to shreds now. I've given this five stars to prove I do not always disrespect authority.


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485
Review of Gravity  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2123091 Unavailable **

Interesting. Thoughtful, insightful poem expressed with an admirable economy of words. Especially clever in that the full meaning is not revealed until the last word of the poem. That is really excellent.

Dang, the more times I read this, the more I get from it. Obviously, it's very good. Such sure and confident handling of words. Great stuff.


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486
486
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A moment in time captured forever. Believe me, the leather pants will lose sooner or later and the relief and comfort in yourself that follows will make you wonder why you waited so long. Of course, I admit that I still wear the uniform of my generation (jeans and T-shirt) but I was persuaded to try on a pair of old fart pants a while back and I confess that they are wonderfully comfortable. Looked awful, of course, but felt so good that I sometimes wear them when I'm not going out. The thin end of the wedge, no doubt.

A brave, personal essay, written with style and humour. i can't even find a comma out of place to quibble about!


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487
487
Review of Depression  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2123091 Unavailable **

A very good description of what depression feels like. The imagery is intense and matches the closed in feeling brought by depression. But the real gem is the sudden change at the end from the indeterminate "you" to the very personal "me". It's a dead giveaway and lets us know that you are truly competent to speak on the subject.

A thoughtful and interesting poem. Well done.


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488
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have heard it said that one cannot love until one has learned to love oneself. Considering the bad press that phrase, "to love oneself", has had, I would amend that to "accept onself". To do that, one has to acknowledge that one is as imperfect as the next person and that you cannot be anyone other than who you are. If that is what you are, then that is what God has made you. And, since God accepts you as you are (He does, believe me), who are you to argue? Only when one has become comfortable with oneself can one progress to caring effectively for others.

Sorry for all that but your essay brought it to mind. If it's of help, then I'm glad. If not, it may be of some use at a future date.


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489
489
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a clever little story. I was halfway through before I began to realise who the sad, lone girl was. This slow realisation is important to the pace of what you're saying. The whole story is a picture of your own growing understanding of yourself. There is no need for the sudden punchline so common in most short stories - the subject demands a more rational and gradual approach and you achieve it perfectly.

WdC abounds with teenage angst tales and poems but this story never falls into that trap. It's a voyage of exploration that allows the reader to hitch a ride and experience it with you. Exceptionally well done.


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490
Review of The Hardship  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well said! And well written, too. Nice little twist in the tail - I didn't see that coming. Especially, I loved the paragraph about cancer not being contagious. We do treat it with far too much deference.

I wonder if all families have someone who refuses to be a part of the facade.


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491
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well written, no problems (except it should be "a cop's cop"), so I don't really have much to say. But you did make me think of this:

8 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees. “Go away from me, Lord,” he said, “for I am a sinful man.” 9 For he and his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10 and so were his partners James and John, the sons of Zebedee. “Do not be afraid,” Jesus said to Simon, “from now on you will catch men.”

Luke 5:8-10

I think we speak the language of the people we grow up with and God sees through such matters as "unclean lips". He's more interested in the heart.


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492
492
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You're right, it is completely absurd. Yet it has a charm that is very uncommon these days. The conversational style is part of that and the humour helps as well. But the vision is quite unique. I cannot imagine even one writer in a thousand coming up with such a delightful tale of happy nonsense. It is so pleasant to read a story that is told with a smile on the writer's face; we are far too serious a breed lately.

Well done indeed!


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493
493
Review of Re Awakenings  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2123091 Unavailable **

Ouch! This is scarily deep feeling stripped bare of pretence and camouflage. I have tried myself to write love poetry but never came anywhere near the accuracy and expression of this poem. How can I suggest improvement to something so perfect?

The best I can do is give it the five stars it deserves. Wonderful writing.


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494
494
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I read Runoffscribe's review of this piece (which was excellent) but I wanted to add something that I think is very important to your story. The tone is absolutely wonderful, reminding me of A.A Milne, the creator of Winnie the Pooh. The beautiful innocence with which the Little Pirate sets forth her plans is delightful and your style is perfectly suited to the creation of the atmosphere of the story. Your last sentence is a masterpiece typical of Milne - that certainty that, if things turn out differently from the plan, another will be adopted without fuss.

Yes, it needs a little tweaking but don't lose that fresh, childlike thread that runs through the whole piece.


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495
Review of The Wrath  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You're doing what I have tried to do so many times before and failed. The difference is, you're succeeding. To speak of such deep matters of Faith is so difficult, with pitfalls of cliché and sentiment waiting on either side, that I've had to fall back on little homilies and parables to say what I mean. To write poetry on such things is way beyond me and I salute you for poetry so expressive and honest. Well done indeed!


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496
496
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Interesting exploration of a relationship between enemies. The alien is painted very well, so that we understand his motives rather better than we do the human protagonist. But that's fine - we ought to know ourselves by now.

The delicate balance between the two is also well described. By the final paragraph, the reader understands well how easily the balance can be upset by either side.

It's a well written piece, full of tension and depth. I do have a minor suggestion - separate "into" in the final sentence into "in to". The action is "gives in" and then we consider to what. Excellent piece, even so.


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497
497
Review of My Favorite Pair  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
That's how I love clothes! Many of them only become comfortable when they've been aged properly. I remember a jacket I had that I wore constantly until it began to disintegrate with wear and tear. People nagged me about it but I couldn't see what was wrong with it - I'd lived through all its ups and downs and they told my story too. Then it disappeared and I found out years later that my mother had put it on a bonfire. It had become pretty awful by then, I admit!

But your poem is a wonderful elegy to your favorite pair of socks and I'm sure it strikes a chord with anyone who likes their clothers comfortable. Wonderful writing!


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498
498
Review of RED  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wonderful poem. Especially poignant to me since I spent several summers trying to escape supermarket tomatoes by growing them in pots. Something always went wrong, the weather, caterpillars, summers too cool, and I gave up in the end. But it's true - supermarket tomatoes are nothing like as good as the ones I remember from my youth.

But the poem, I'm supposed to review the poem. Well it was certainly evocative, as my first paragraph proves. The description of slicing into a good, red, juicy tomato is exactly right. You've made me hunger for decent tomatoes again.

I do have a slight doubt about that use of colour for the word "red". Seems a bit superfluous somehow. Otherwise the poem is perfect in my book. Well done and good luck in the contest.


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499
499
Review of Distracted  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful, heartfelt and terrifying poem. Sharp, accurate imagery paints the picture of suddenly abandoned life. We don't need to know the cause of this emptiness - it is enough to feel it through the words. It's powerful stuff.

And then the second part with (maybe) a touch of hope. The scattered pills must surely speak of a future renewed by the laughter of children.

A truly wonderful poem.


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500
500
Review of The Gin Bottle  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wonderful story, full of colour, atmosphere and humour. Your characters spring to life in just a few well-chosen words. The piece is billed as fiction but sounds so authentic, I feel it must be rooted in experience.

If flash fiction is your thing, I say keep writing!

Oh, I did notice a couple of minor points. "But he on Maud’s beckon call" - an apostrophe and an S should fix the "he". And I think it needs an "and" between "beckon" and "call".
"a partially filled a gin bottle" - zap that second "a".


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