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Review Requests: ON
1,145 Public Reviews Given
1,146 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a review template that is only used for in depth reviews, usually those that are specifically requested. These will be as comprehensive as I can manage, including everything I have noticed in reading the piece. Most of my reviews, however, are more in the nature of reactions to the piece with brief notes on things I find particularly good and suggestions on dealing with any obvious flaws in the writing.
I'm good at...
Reviews of stuff I particularly like. If I think the writing is good and the ideas original and inventive, I will say so and become enthusiastic about it. I will point out flaws, particularly where I feel that they interfere with a positive reaction to the piece, but I will also offer suggestions for fixing such problems.
Favorite Genres
I have a broad spectrum of genres I'll review. It's easier for me to list the genres I won't touch.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, erotica, overly dark subjects without a good reason for existence.
Favorite Item Types
I'm unsure what is meant by this - I would have thought the genres sections covered this.
Least Favorite Item Types
See previous section.
I will not review...
Again, see the genres section that lists the genres I won't review.
Public Reviews
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401
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Review of My Bio  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think this is the first time I've reviewed an autobiography on WdC. Yours makes a refreshing read, particularly since we are of similar ages and, although growing up on different cintinents, there is much in your story that resonates with mine. It seems now that we were very lucky in our early life to have such freedom and ease of life. Childhood is a much grimmer business these days, or so it seems to me.

Your enjoyment of your upbringing shines through your essay and the reader gets a clear view of how you appreciate it now. The tale is told without exaggeration yet your love for the places you grew up in is quite apparent. Your writing is smooth, without flaws and I can offer nothing to improve it. And now I have to think about my own childhood and the effect it had on me!

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402
402
Review of Partner  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I came across your story while ploughing through the random selections of Read & Review. It seemed to be worth a read and I am glad that I succumbed to its appeal. This is a fine story but it disappoints in the end. Without a proper denouement, the tale feels like the introduction to a much longer story or perhaps a book chronicling the adventures of Kenji and his dragon. I can't really believe that you went through all that trouble of building the scene, the characters and mechanics just to let it dissipate in an ending that doesn't feel like one.

The thing is, it's beautifully written, constructed with care and expertly paced. It feels as if it's going somewhere but, in the end, leaves us hanging while Kenji and the dragon disappear into the future. As a piece of writing it's excellent and that's why it deserves expansion into a completed tale or many stories. You have it classified as a short story - which it is, but it lacks that twist or surprise at the end which defines the short story. The revelation that the orbs may be the souls of the dragon's partners, rather than their enemies, doesn't quite hack it as a twist since we have no idea how the orbs feel about things. Whether it makes any difference to Kenji that he will end up as an orb is not known so it fails to induce any horror.

It is always a pleasure to read good writing, however. It's just my feeling that it needs completion in some way.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
It's a great idea, edible and sentient Martian mushrooms, and you kept the secret quite expertly until the twist at the end. Nice double meaning, indeed.

The story is well written with no obvious flaws. Pace is good and the tale flows effortlessly towards its denouement. I am presuming that the bolded words are the ones required by the contest. Altogether, this is a finely executed piece that does exactly what you wanted it to. The central invention, the sentient but tasty mushrooms, in particular, is a brilliant idea (especially as I like mushrooms). Great work!

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404
Review of The Diagnosis  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi J.E.,

I must admit that I'm reviewing this piece with a template, partly because I don't want to forget any points that occur to me, but also to give value for the GPs on offer. It surprises me a little that you are still asking for reviews in view of the fact that the story has placed in the Twisted Tales Contest, been nominated for a Quill Award, earned an Awardicon and already has 72 reviews. Aware that I'm unlikely to find much wrong with something so thoroughly tested and approved, I must shrug and be as honest as I can in my assessment. Any suggestions I have can be taken or ignored, obviously.

Initial Impression:

This is a well written, tight and competent tale that delivers on its promises. The ending caught me unawares but that may say more about my gullibility than the story itself.

Title:

The Diagnosis is an accurate summation of what is to follow that yet gives no indication of the twist hiding in the tail. It's good without being too clever.

Content:

Great scene setting and description. The various locations become familiar to the reader through the details presented. The story unfolds smoothly, without stumbling, apart from a few typos that we can look at later. As I have mentioned, the twist caught me but the denouement wrapped in a final message is a fairly common device in this type of story so some readers might have figured it out by then. What saves the story is the very late realisation that the murder of the wife is also part of the deal (and I think this is why I didn't see the real twist coming). I was still thinking about the deviouisness of including the wife when you threw the telephone message at me. Very good, an excellent way of distracting the reader from the real trail. The story is very well constructed, with tension increasing all the way through.

Style:

You know how to write, that's clear. You give the reader enough information and detail to work with and then allow him to build the rest of the scene himself. Always a good ability, to leave something for the reader to play with - he roots for the story as a result. Too much control by the writer lets the reader become bored. Duncan's character is revealed in stages through the story, this too allowing the reader to gain sympathy for and empathy with him so that his fate begins to matter. He is, in a way, a hero in that, as ordinary as is his life, he looks for the best way to end it. The reader assumes that it's not only for his daughter that he does this - the twist of the wife's death is still in the future. The best writing is writing that isn't noticed - it means that it's the story driving things forward without little irritations of style getting in the way. So it's a good thing that I have no criticism of your style.

Flow/Pace:

Flow and pace are fine, without any hiccups or sudden changes. Again, these are things that the reader shouldn't notice if they're done correctly.

Suggestions:

And so to the typos and stuff. "He pushed away the thought, it’s not every day you get to meet the man who will murder you." This should really be two sentences (his thought was not that it's not every day, etc.). This is the kind of thing that would probably only be noticed by grammar nazis like me but, hey, grammar nazis read too.

The mention of Han Solo may be a mistake. The name is recognisable to most but, as time goes on, Star Wars will fade from public consciousness and your reference will be left high and dry on the beach. Perhaps it would be better to just say "hero" instead.

"he thought about Shelby coming in to the world kicking and screaming." "coming into" would be more correct. Same for "she would need to tap in to that strength" a few sentences later.

"When he closed the door, he found his fingers touching the deadbolt. Torn between his wife’s constant reminders to remember to lock the back door, and the directions he gave the man he met behind the bar." Here the second sentence is incomplete. The whole thing needs to be one sentence with a comma replacing the period that separates the two sentences.

Favourite line or part:

I must admit that the telephone message really grabbed me - I hadn't suspected it for a moment.

Overall Impression:

A finely crafted tale, laying its traps inconspicuously as it unfolds and then catching the reader with a pair of neat twists at the end.



Small photo
Beholden

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Review of Sorry  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A pleasant little story that travels in a circle to end at its beginning. I can't say I'm crazy about these tales told only in dialogue but I understand that, when the contest demands it, we have to comply.

No doubt the word count limitation (whatever it was) was the cause of the one weakness I felt the tale has. I've never known a grumpy old man go so quickly from annoyance to apologising for his reaction. And, as one myself, I ought to know. The child seems a bit compliant too but such angels do exist, I suppose.

Otherwise it's a well-constructed story that achieves its object - to illustrate the meaning of the word "sorry." An enjoyable read indeed.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think this may be the first review I've done for you, Huntersmoon. That may be the result of the majority of your poems being rhymed - I don't understand the attraction of rhymes and do not consider myself an unbiased judge of such poetry therefore. This one, boldly announcing its form as free verse, was pounced upon as a result.

I'm glad it was the one I chose, too. It's a fine poem, revealing its story through measured and well paced verses until we arrive at the picture of the wolf in the moonlight. Like all good poems, it takes more than a single reading to begin to understand the meaning intended by the poet. The late night scenario is well described and established in the first stanza; then the added ingredient of the dog twitching in sleep brings us closer to the poet's thoughts as he sits at his desk, awaiting inspiration.

The "pockets" of the desk still mystify me a little but I get around this by assuming an array of cubby holes for documents and writing materials, as some desks possess. But now we approach the heart of the matter - the accusing pencil, chewed with long contemplation, speaks of the wait to begin. The hourglass, with sand now stilled, is a fine metaphor for the frozen moment of time as inspiration strikes.

It's the picture of a wolf, stirring memories of how it was painted and the scene that caused its creation. And now the blend of that memory into a new creation, the poem itself.

I like it a great deal. Your writing is effective in placing the reader in a position of sharing the experience. And what more can we ask for?

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I should explain how I got here since it was a bit of a journey. One of my habits is to read other entries to contests that I submit pieces to and I saw your entry to 24 Syllables (cachet). In thinking about your poem, I noticed that you had placed it in a collection named In Every Nook and Cranny and that 22 reviewers had looked at it, averaging a mere two star rating. That seemed unduly cruel to me so I had to look at the collection to see what was upsetting your reviewers so badly.

I've read all the way down to this piece and I really can't see why you should deserve so low a score. In fact, there are some poems that work very well in this folder. This one, Land of Incarnadine Earth, strikes me as a very powerful poem and I'm sure there are others in the collection that are just as good. I don't understand the numbers in the poem but they affect the reader even so, adding to the feeling of depth in the poem. Normally I would find the inclusion of so many colours unnecessary but your have made them an important point, weaving them into the feeling of each description so that our responses follow.

So I have to conclude that I don't understand the rating but want to encourage you to take no notice of it. To be honest, there are some members of WdC who couldn't write or review their way out of a paper bag.

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408
408
Review of Chasing the Sun  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this little story. It has a lot to recommend it, especially considering how few words it was allowed. The child's wish to catch the sun, to extend its brief reign near the Arctic Circle, is quite poignant and perhaps a reminder of some of the beliefs we had at such an age too.

The ultimate answer of going to Australia to find the sun could be seen coming but your telling of the tale was effective in that this spoiled none of the reader's happiness at Jan's wish being fulfilled. A clever tale indeed.

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Review of webspeak  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I used to be happy with the way the net had multiplied the ways in which we could speak to each other in writing. At least this is keeping everyone literate, I thought. And then they invented textspeak and I realised how silly I'd been. The determination of ignorance to perpetuate itself is limitless, it seems.

Your little poem to illustrate the delights of chat is both pointed, funny and too true. I particularly love the slightly offended answer to the question near the end - "english...can't u tell?" Telling humour indeed!

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Read & Review offers me this to review and I think immediately, oh come on now, this is by Fyn, the writer of newsletters, a blue suitcase, around since 2005, and here's me, only a month or so away from being a newby. But I'm hardly that chronologically, being 72 years old, and I dare say I've been writing longer than most, having written a half novel on my mom's typewriter at the age of 16 (me, not the typewriter, although it was a wonderful old tank of a thing). And besides, this piece interests me, being free verse and, more to the point, possessed of very long lines, a direction that has been dragging me along for quite some time now.

So I'll do it and if the powers that be throw me out for such cheek, so be it. As I mentioned, the idea of long verses in free verse is interesting. For a start, it flirts with the inevitable criticism of free verse, that it's just prose divided into separate lines. Clearly, free verse must demonstrate something pretty powerful to overcome this perception. It's why it's more difficult than form poetry but also more effective in involving the reader's emotions. Cummings and Dylan Thomas demonstrate this all the time.

Certainly this piece gets its meaning across but does it succeed in evoking a depth of feeling in the reader that takes them to a higher level of understanding than straightforward prose would do? I'm not sure on this one. The freedom to write as many words as one pleases in lines of such length does tend to lead to excess, an abandonment of the exact selection of the right word each time to elicit the desired emotive response. It's the same problem I find in myself when I attempt such lengthy verses. The open expanses of space tempt us to go into detail on our thoughts and emotions and we lose that sharp precision that catches the reader by the throat and demands a response.

It's a huge subject, almost a lifetime of experience, and maybe too much to be attempted in poetic form. Also, the change in thinking which is the core of the poem is a matter of the mind more than the emotions. Hard enough to communicate feeling without having to explain a theory by expressions of feelings!

I can't take any stars away from it, however. Since I'm in the same process of trying to write free verse of unusual length, I know how difficult this is and am hardly the one to sit in judgement on this one. Rather I applaud what is, in fact, an excellent attempt that comes very close. And I had to write all this on seeing that you were doing what I am trying to do too.

That's what I think, anyway.

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411
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Review of I Detest Thee  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Have read them all now. This is good - you have a natural flair for poetry, it seems. Your strength, too, is in departing from the conventional view, in this case of hope. It is not a matter of right or wrong here, the fresh viewpoint is what makes the piece more readable and stimulating. If this is how you see it in this given moment, than this is how it is. You succeed admirably in getting your point across, in bringing the reader onside so that they can say, "Yes, I can see what you're saying."

It is a true depiction of those early days in a new institution when everything and everyone is new. Surely everyone has felt this alone and isolated in their life. Your capture of the emotion stirred in your subject are well communicated to the reader and so you have done your job. I'm quite impressed (and that doesn't happen every day). I'll click that plus sign once more and become a fan!

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't think I've come across this Battle of the Pens before but I'd guess it's similar to Elle's Clash! Contest that's running at the moment. If so, I think this short piece demonstrates considerable ability and you should have no difficulty in upholding your part in the contest.

Your powers of description are considerable so that you draw vivid pictures of the setting, not forgetting how much a part of the wild are the animals that live there. There is a minor typo in that animals normally live in trees, not "trues," but this is easily mended (if the rules of the contest allow it).

I have not read the Harry Potter series but I think I recognise a couple of the names from seeing the movies some time ago. So again I deduce that this section, at least, may be related to Rowling's work. You seem well able to cope with this requirement (whatever it is) and I shall follow your progress through other assignments.

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413
413
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I liked your presentation of the story. The piece feels like an extract from a larger work and this draws the reader on in an attempt to settle the matter. By the time it becomes clear that this is intended, the reader is hooked and has to know how it ends. It's a powerful strategy and you carried it off very well - let's call it the "throw 'em in and see if they swim" method!

The twist at the end is excellent too. Definitely, I wasn't expecting that. Poor old Mr Suggs is going to regret his cavalier attitude, methinks.

Good writing, sharp little story that reveals much more about its characters than appears at first. Well done!

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Review of Freak  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Keep getting you confused with AE Wilcox - think I've got it sorted now. I like this little tale that popped up in my Newfeed yesterday (sorry it's taken me a while to get around to it). Feel very sorry for the lady (which was as intended, I don't doubt - your job was well done, in other words) and that makes her demise at the end all the more poignant.

Expertly morphed from the carnival posters to the storm to the lions in Africa. In flash fiction we don't get much time to set scenes and then change them - I appreciate the smoothness with which you managed this. I love this description too: "slowly melted back into her chair like a wax candle." A fine job all round.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I found this piece very interesting for a number of reasons. To begin with, I noticed that you classified it as fan fiction but I have no idea what particular fiction you're referring to. That may actually be an advantage, since I can't be influenced by any comparison with writing that has never crossed my path.

Another reason for my interest is irrelevant in the context of this review but I'll mention it anyway. The piece is very similar to an event in my book entitled The Gabbler's Testament. Pure coincidence but maybe it shows that great minds think alike!

It's well written and carried me through events that I have described myself, as I have pointed out. I found the names to be apt, reflecting the character of their owners as they do. I did wonder at the attraction of the "boar-headed Viking lass" however. Maybe Stoick had odd taste in women...

Altogether it's an excellent piece and makes me want to know more of the history of its characters. Well done.

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Review of My Talking Pencil  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Well, you caught me unawares with this one. Comic verse indeed and with such an original idea! I love the talking pencil and wish I'd thought of it first. Nicely controlled verses too, and unobtrusive and clever rhymes (and near-rhymes).

All in all, this is a clever little poem with a personal sting for yourself in that it speaks of your weaknesses. We can all sympathise with your plight and say how often we have felt the guilt of not exercising enough. It is the secret of all good poetry that we bare our deepest thoughts and feelings with honesty and directness. And this gem does exactly that.

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Review of Boise City  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I've been looking for a piece by you that I can review. Your writing has a different, unusual flavour to it that I can only put down to your Swedish ancestry. And that's not a criticism - it's a nod to your originality and invention.

And so to Oklahoma, a state where I lived briefly when I first arrived in America. I'm glad you added the photos at the end because the first explained so well why you described the railway bridges as grinning. A delightful image that will remain in my mind for a long time. And "roads that stretch from nowhere to nowhere" is a perfect description of so much of Oklahoma (I lived in Lawton at the beginning of the panhandle so I know how true this is).

It's a wonderful poem, accurate in its descriptions and brimming with that love of the country that OK seems to engender in anyone who has lived there. I've never heard of Boise City, however. You say it's in the Northeast of Oklahoma yet how is it possible to see New Mexico and Colorado from there? I think you mean Northwest - in fact, you must since you put the city in the panhandle. A minor matter soon mended, I think. And it doesn't alter the fact that this is a very good poem.

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Review of Good Times  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ah, the eternal practicality of the outdoor man. Some people will survive, whatever the circumstances.

Now this is horror - the kind that I've been attempting. This gives the shivers and the desire to get the thing out of one's mind. And you snuck up on me too! All that country air and innocent fishing and then suddenly it turns dark and unthinkable. I can't say that I like it - horror really isn't my thing - but it's so well done, I must applaud. Truly masterful writing. The story achieves exactly what it sets out to do.

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419
Review of Honing the Craft  
for entry "Week 2 Across the Way" 
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (4.5)
Being in the covid pandemic as we are, the reader will know that the mask referred to means the surgical masks we're having to wear. But I wonder how long this awareness will last. In a year's time it may be that the mask would be taken as hiding something, the more usual connotation of the word in the past. So I think it might be better to somehow make the pandemic connection clear for future readers.

I do like the question in the next line - the recognition that now we have only the eyes to convey emotion, the mask covering the rest of our faces. It's a good point that needs to be made. Distance, too, is a matter to be taken into consideration, especially when we remember that human eyesight varies so much between individuals. I can remember that, before I bought my first pair of glasses, I recognised people from a distance purely from the way they walked. Can your neighbour see that your wave is well intentioned? It's a valid question, important in the situation.

You're right that the wave is an acknowledgement, a gesture towards the other's common humanity. But now I have to get a bit picky. It may be my own prejudice against certain words overused in today's society but I feel that "relevant" has little meaning in this context. Relevant to what? I know what you're trying to say, that the neighbour has some importance in your life, but I think there are better words to express this than "relevant." It's like "awesome" - used to the point that it becomes meaningless.

But this is just be my own prejudice. I admit it - there are some words I don't like, mainly because they're used too often. It's a minor matter anyway and entirely up to you whether you want to change this particular word.

Finally, I must admit that it's interesting to see you writing in free verse after all the help you have given me in oriental form poetry! *Wink*
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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A great circle of a poem taking us from prehistory and ice age adapted animals to the present day when man seeks oil in the frozen earth and mammoth tusks buried for eons. What a panoramic view has accomplished this broad and insightful poem, with one bright image after another leading us through the depths of time.

Perfect in flow and rhyme, I cannot fault the technique either. This is a fitting epitaph for the mighty mammoths in their last resting place and an appeal to leave them be. A veritable tour de force of verse and a natural history lesson too. Wonderful stuff!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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421
for entry "Week 4 - W/E 6/28/20" 
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
One thing occurs to me: on a zebra crossing, wouldn't a zebra just disappear? Camouflage and all that, you know.

But it's a nice British take on an American setting (how d'you make a crosswalk with a stick? Whack someone really hard on the behind with it). Plus, it's a cry for fairness to zebras, which can't be bad. Of course, not being a form poet myself, I'll take your word on the common measure thing but I can tell that it flows well. The rhyming is not obtrusive but it has importance for continuance of the flow, I think, as well as the light-hearted tone. Altogether, it's a very competent poem and I can't fault it.

Great work!

Beholden
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422
for entry "Chez Bugs" 
Review by Beholden
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Mike,

You have a pretty solid collection of good work assembled for the Promptly Poetry Challenge. Of them all, I chose to review this one, Chez Bugs, as it made me laugh with the last line. It's not every day that a writer manages to get an audible laugh out of me and that has something to say when it's comic verse.

It's a very tight, well worked poem, without superfluous words and natural rhyming that does not jar. Everything flows smoothly towards that final line but, even so, you caught me completely unawares with the "slugs." Well done, indeed.

As a wise man once said, "Short but sweet!"
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for entry "Nana" 
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really wanted to review A Crow's Just a Punk in a Black Feather Jacket for the wonderful title alone but Nana proved far too delicious for me to leave it alone. So it gets the nod.

And what a tour de force it is! From the assemblage of vivid images, like a flashing, flickering old time movie, the steady pace through the telling, to the weaving (knitting?) of sound through the words, everything works to bring us, spellbound, to the end. I'm English and so don't cry but you came close with those last few lines about your Nana.

All poems need to be read aloud but not to do so with this one would be a crime. In sound and meaning you resurrect the old lady for us to love as you do. Tick tock indeed.

This is what poetry is all about. Bows.
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424
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like to find out a little about people who throw awards at me unexpectedly and so I find myself in your portfolio, looking for something to review as some form of thanks for the awardicon. I read the first poem in the list, the one about winter, and am immediately wowed at its quality. This must surely be the one to review, I think, especially as its so recent.

But before that, I should know more. I read the Shakespeare one, curious to see how close you get. And I'm bowled over. This could be the great one himself, writing in our strange present. Now I really have to know more and I press on through piece after piece of outstanding quality. And now I'm here in your Observing Daybreak's Magnificence, prose-poetry of the highest quality. I am reminded of Elizabeth Smart's By Grand Central Station I Sat Down And Wept - they share an intensity of vision and experience.

So this is in the nature of my process of being wowed, rather than a proper review. these works are far too good for me to make my silly comments on. I just love reading them and enjoying their effortless (apparent) craftsmanship. You have five stars for what I've read so far. Thank you.

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Review of Bad Roses  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
To thank you for the costumicon you gave me, I have been looking for something I can review for you (not that this would be a suitably magnificent return gift but I'm not very good at magnificent). I came across this and decided that I liked it so much, I should review it, especially as everyone else doesn't like it at all, judging by the measly two stars it has from 25 reviews. Then I read the sentence at the end and realised that it was one of those "bad" contests that expects only entries trying for "bad" poetry.

You present me with a quandary (I am showered with gifts!). I can award according to my feeling for the poem, thereby ignoring your entreaty for only one star, or I can make you happy (I presume) by acceding to your wish. Of course, the contest must be long gone, since the poem was written in 2003, so it might be that I can be completely objective (and honest) in my assessment. And anyway, it seems that some have ignored your plea by pushing the average to two instead of one. Oh, mischievous fate!

I suppose this is the problem with a lot of contests - that they enforce the creation of pieces that will lose their relevance as the criteria for the contest vanish with its demise. Those occasions when I've been admonished by a reviewer for not making a poem longer, when it was written for the 24 Syllable Contest spring to mind.

In the end, I think I must review it for its own qualities, even if my implication is that the poem is better than you were aiming for. As comic verse, it succeeds in making me smile and the deliberately cracked meter adds to this. I admit that this is assuming that the aim is comic verse - it may be that the badness intended was that it is supposed to be seriously bad. But if I pursue that interpretation, things get incredibly complicated as I dither between awarding kudos for good writing that succeeds in being bad, and giving stars for badly written stuff that is, therefore, adhering to the terms of the contest. I'm going to grasp the nettle (or rose) and take it as comic verse.

In which case, I have to award the poem five (yes, five) stars for succeeding in its comic intent, with me at least. And that gives me the opportunity to write a review that might bring a smile to you as well. *Wink*

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