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409 Public Reviews Given
781 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Fall Romance  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a fun word search! Honestly, I had to look up leafpeepers. I've never heard that term before. Now I want to be a leaf peeper. I'd love to go leaf-peeping if gas didn't cost so much.

Thank you for a little fun today.
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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (4.0)
In my opinion, this is exactly what the elite want and enjoy. It's how they stay elite. I enjoyed reading about your thoughts. Many times I've been in the situation you discuss - having to decide between medicine or food. Food always wins out but to the detriment of my mental health.

Luckily, my work pays for education and I'm finishing up my bachelor's in communication. I really hope it pays off and I can get a higher-paying job. Thank goodness my employer invests in their employees' education.

There are people in power who are truly out to help the people, but I think they're outnumbered by those who are only in politics for themselves. Hence the reason for non-profit businesses that are in place to help those with lower incomes. But, sadly, we have to turn to those businesses.

One thing I think is missing from your speech is how these things are happening. What, specifically, are they doing to keep those with lower incomes down? Back up your opinions with facts. Overall, nice job.
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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading about your childhood memories and what you experience today. My husband is the baby of five (three sisters and a brother) and I kind of understand things. It's interesting to see what each person remembers and their perspective of past events. It was just me and my brother with our parents and to be honest, I don't remember many Christmases, but I know they were good.

I hope we've given our two children good memories of Christmas. I don't know how well we raised them, but they seem okay as adults.

Thank you for sharing your memories. It read smoothly and I didn't stumble anywhere.

Have a beautiful day.
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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (5.0)
Clearly, it's been way too long since I've seen When Harry Met Sally, and I don't remember specifics about it anymore either!

However, this was a fun quiz. I'm surprised I remembered where they traveled to.

This was a great idea. I'll have to think about something like this for my writing questions.

Thank you! Enjoy your day.
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Review of Promptly Poetry  
for entry "Celebrate!
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (4.5)
What fun! This poem is exciting and right on the money about WDC. These are my favorite lines:

Weaving wondrous tales of life and love and pain
Poetry and heartfelt blogs and ways to start again.

I love rhyming poems and this one was so much fun to read. Reading too many rhyming poems makes it hard to read regularly, though, because I like the rhythm and try to apply it to regular reading. Doesn't work out very well! Ha!

I hope you have a great time during the birthday celebrations!
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Review of On The Shore  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Josh,

I am reviewing your short story, "On The Shore, which I found under "Browse by Type." The description and genre piqued my interest.

First, I would like to start by saying that the following statements are simply my suggestions and my sharing of things I've been taught.

Second, I really like this story. It is short and could definitely be expanded upon to make a longer story or even a novel.

So, here are my suggestions.


Standing there, with my bare feet in the wet sand, for a passing moment, serenity filled my soul.

My suggestion: The wet sand enveloped my bare feet, and for a passing moment, serenity filled my soul.

Then, as I did every morning since I arrived on the island a few days ago, I went to the big rock, sat down, and waited, hoping that somebody might come or something might happen.

My suggestion #1: Just as I did every morning since I arrived a few days ago, I went to the big rock, sat, and waited, hoping someone would come along or something might happen.

My suggestion #2: I went to the big rock every morning since I arrived a few days ago. I sat and waited, hoping someone would come along or something might happen.

(Someone else gave me a tip about the words down or up. We all know we sit “down” or stand “up,” so it’s not always necessary to state that. This is a rather long sentence, which I believe, slows down the pace. You could separate them into two sentences. But, as this is your writing, it’s totally up to you.)


On the first day, as I was sitting there, a dog came to me. It was a Labrador. He stopped a few steps away, barked and wagged its tail as if he wanted to tell me something. We were looking at each other for a while, then he ran off to chase the seagulls, throwing sand and water into the air. A woman, presumably his owner, was watching from a distance for a while, but did not come any closer.

(You wrote “for a while” in the previous sentence, so look for another way to say it or remove it in the last sentence.)

My suggestion: As I sat there on the first day, a labrador came to me. He stopped a few steps away, barked, and wagged its tail as if he wanted to tell me something. We looked at each other for a while, then he ran off to chase the seagulls, throwing sand and water into the air. A woman, presumably his owner, watched from a distance but didn’t come any closer.

(We want to reduce most instances of “to be” verbs, like am, is, are, was, were, be, being, and been.) Here’s one resource I found that I believe is helpful:
https://www.blinn.edu/writing-centers/pdfs/Reducin...

I am including a resource regarding capitalizing most dog breeds. Typically, they are not capitalized unless they include a proper noun.
https://www.grammarbook.com/blog/capitalization/do...


It was the middle of September and the mornings were already cooler. Apart from the dog and the woman, there was no one on the shore. There were moments of doubt when I was not sure whether there was any point in waiting there, but something inside told me to stay. I did not know what was ahead of me, yet I was sure if I just leaned back and waited, the future would reveal its secrets.

My suggestion: Being the middle of September, the mornings were already cooler. Apart from the dog and the woman, no one else was on shore. Doubt crept in and I found myself questioning the point of waiting there, but something inside told me to stay. Unsure of what was ahead of me, I needed to sit back and wait for the future to reveal its secrets.


“Are you expecting someone? Can I take this seat?” I asked her pointing to the bar stool next to her. “I was probably waiting for you.” She said and smiled. I was not quite sure whether she was only teasing me, but I introduced myself and sat next to her. We started talking and drank some more wine. As evening fell, the bar got very crowded. “Let’s sit outside!” she suggested. “If we have luck, we might even see some falling stars.”

With conversations, each instance of a person talking is written as a new line. Take the above paragraph for example.

“Are you expecting someone? Can I take this seat?” I asked her, pointing to the bar stool next to her.

“I was probably waiting for you,” she said and smiled.

I wasn't sure whether she was only teasing me, but I introduced myself and sat next to her. We started talking and drank some more wine. As evening fell, the bar got very crowded.

“Let’s sit outside,” she suggested. “If we have luck, we might even see some falling stars.”

This helps the reader to follow who is speaking.

Also, I love Masterclass. Here’s a resource regarding writing dialogue.

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-format...



I told her that I was leaving the next day, and we might never see each other again, but even if she walked out of my life, the fresh scent of spring flowers after a cold, dark winter would always remind me of her. I gave her the poem that I wrote for her earlier that day. As she read it, she started crying again, even more inconsolably than before. I tried to soothe her, I thought I could not let her go, but she left and I did not see her again.

Why would this remind the character of her? There is nothing written before now about the smell of flowers and how it is connected to her.



I was confused with how the woman knew who the man was talking about. How did she know he was speaking about her mother? They both understood him to be her father, however, she put a great deal of trust in the man, I assume, based on what her mother told her about him.


I wanted to tell her that I was so happy to have a daughter, but I just embraced her and could not say a word. Instead, I thought about the reason for my being on the island. It seemed to me that I had found a new purpose. We were just standing there holding each other for the first time, on that shore with the sound of the waves, lapping on the shore: wave in, wave out, wave in, wave out.

My suggestion: I wanted to tell her I was so happy to have a daughter. Instead, I embraced her and stayed silent. I thought about my reason for being on the island. It seemed to me that I found a new purpose. We stood there holding each other for the first time, listening to the waves lapping on the shore: wave in, wave out, wave in, wave out.

Again, I want you to know how much I liked this story. I love beach stories and this is a good one. Bittersweet. You did a really nice job. I hope to read more from you.

Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep on writing!!


QPdoll
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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for entry "Shanti's Purr
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great job with this poem! It makes me think of my cats. It's funny when they come running to anyone who opens a door in the house. It's like someone new is coming to visit. They get so excited. We laugh about it frequently.

Cats are amazing animals. Thank you for sharing your poem about your furry family member. An alarm clock, indeed. It's not so fun when they decide to wake you up a half-hour before your real alarm goes off! Ha!

Have a great day. Write on!
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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can relate to this poem. So many of us miss our pasts. I know I do.

You followed the 3 4 3 4 3 4 and 7 syllables pattern.

Great job with the Whitney!!
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Review of Poetic forms  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was fun. I had a good time but struggled with the last one. It's always difficult when so many of the letters have been used.

A great idea to use various forms of poetry.

Thank you for some escape for a little bit.
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Review of Hard Decision  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm sorry you had to make that decision for your mother. It was definitely a tough one. I've never been in that position, so I can only imagine what you went through.

It's good you had a close relationship with your mother. Many people don't have that.

You have a good friend. I also take Abilify, among other meds. It's been a huge help.

That's wonderful that you're able to write again! Keep it up.

As for the writing, I saw one small thing: "Anna, don't you ever let anyone tell you that you never took good care of me, because you did".

The period goes before the end quote.

Fabulous job!
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Review of Virus  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello. I found this on the "Reviews with Honesty: Request a Review.

These are simply my thoughts and opinions. Please take what you can use and toss out the rest.

You've done a nice job with this story. It kept me hooked through to the end. However, I did get pulled out of the story in a few places. The descriptions of each of the characters come off as an information dump, in my opinion. It reads more comfortably when those details are spread throughout the story.

There are a couple of places where you bounce between the character's point of view. Here's one:
He considered this a moment. She's only a girl, he thought condescendingly. Wouldn't disrupt the program to let her stop a moment. This came from his point of view as opposed to continuing with her point of view. You could write something like, "She watched his facial features change as he struggled to make a decision."

It's not a great example, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to convey.

The ending brought a solution to both of their problems. For him to not go to jail, and for her to not get killed!

I think you did a great job! Thank you for the opportunity to read and review.

Happy Writing!
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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is an enticing synopsis of a greater story, for sure! It's definitely something you could make into a longer writing. Are there any scientists in the town who could help investigate and report on what is happening? Is there someone who will take advantage of the dark and commit crimes? There would be no playing outside for the kids. Would this continue throughout the week? Throughout the month? So many questions.

Also, make sure to use paragraphs. That makes it easier to read than one long writing.

I hope you consider writing more. Ask yourself a lot of "What if" questions.

Keep Writing!

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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi. I thought I'd give you some feedback.

The young age of Mario at the beginning, for me, is a bit unbelievable. I think it would be good to start him off a little older for this statement to mean more: Despite his young age, Mario is a former rebel with a strong motive: to locate his mother and sister who are in the City of St. Beauty. I'm thinking that maybe you could start him off as a teenager and age him from there. This would help make this statement a bit more believable as well: ... he manages to overcome them using his rebel experience and survival skills.

The story is interesting, and I'm curious to know what happens next. This is something I would read.

I'll try and get to The Story Plot Version 1 when I can.

I think this is good.

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Review of God be my Brother  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like this poem and think you've done a very nice job. I understand what you mean about the last line. I don't think it's bad, but it does have one more syllable than the line before it. I don't have any suggestions on how to fix it, unfortunately. It's difficult for me to find the rhyming scheme in the last words of each line.

I'm sure you'll figure out something. I enjoyed the poem.
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for entry "Bedside Manners
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I like reading your ongoing stories. I do need to read some past entries to get myself all caught up, though.

I noticed a few things along the way.

"How are managing with that?"
Just missed the "you."

So, the part when the doctor comes in and Dana asks about having the same conversation twice, there are two places where you say "chuckled." They are a few sentences apart. Maybe find another word, like laughed or snickered, or smiled for one of those.

"well, it certainly can't hurt."
Just forgot the capitalization.

These are little scenes, and I enjoy reading them.

Keep up the great work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh my goodness! What a story! I felt so bad for John. I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing, though. Ha!

A few things I noticed:

“Don’t let Charlie off his lead,Dad.” Forgot the space after the comma.

“DWhat an amazing place you live in, Courtenay,” (Just added an extra "D" at the beginning of the sentence.

This is a funny story. It made me smile - after I was so worried about John and the dog. Ha!
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Review of Intimacy with God  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading your essay. I feel like a kid telling their parent that they don't want to do something, even though they know it's good for them. Ha! I know I need to spend time with Him and His word, but do I do it? Sometimes. Reading His word, at times, doesn't seem as exciting as reading other books. I guess that's what sin does, huh? Distracts us from Him.

I think of the situation like I do with my Earthly parents—they just want our time, and so does He. Unfortunately, I haven't made a lot of time for either. I know it's a reminder, but will I do anything about it? I'd like to. I'll have to pray for the help to do it.

Thank you for sharing. Have a blessed day.
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for entry "~Intimacy with God~
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I so know what you mean about distractions from praising and worshiping God and spending time with Him. I was once in a Bible study class where we discussed distractions. Someone likened it to traveling down the road and not being able to focus on the road in front of us because of all the things distracting us on either side. That has stuck with me ever since.

I like the format of your essay. I didn't think to put in paragraph headers. But I don't typically write essays, so if they're supposed to be there, I didn't include them.

Thank you for the reminder that if we pray for the strength to read His word and be closer to Him, He'll help. Not that He won't help even if we don't, but it will bring us closer.

Thank you for sharing your non-fiction essay. I do find non-fiction a little bit easier to write. But creative non-fiction, I'm not so sure. Ha!

Have a beautiful day!
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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (4.5)
These are beautiful memories. I'm glad you were able to enjoy the road trip with your dad. I can't say I've ever seen a Burma shave sign, but the one you note is certainly true! The population sign is hilarious. I'm glad you have that memory to look back on.

I think it's awesome you visited again with your wife. It's too bad the town was deserted. I bet the owners of the diner would have had many stories to tell. (Note: you put an extra "n" in the word diner.)

I love this poem.

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful memory.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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for entry "~Daddy's Tree~
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I love this story! I like that it was a happy story about planting and raising a tree and seeing the payoff of your efforts. Many of the stories I hear about are when a divorce happens, and the husband (typically) drives by the house and sees the tree he planted early in their marriage.

I think the tree is awesome. I like its wild and craziness. This is such a warm memory of your dad.

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story.
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Review of A Mother's Love  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, jamisonbrown .

I found this on the "Please Review page. A mother's love is always intriguing to me. It's fun to read about how other's perceive mothers, even if it is fictional.

While this is a short piece, I believe it captured the emotion well. I enjoyed the opening excitement. Then, I could feel Sybil's disappointment after going through all the steps to prepare for Wayne's visit, only to receive a text informing her otherwise. I was hurt for her! Maybe it's because I understand that disappointment as many other mothers out there do.

You used a pleasant font size, making it comfortable to read.

I saw one instance of passive voice, "Though her heart was broken, she still loved her son with an everlasting and unconditional love."

I think you've done a fine job with this short story.

Thank you for sharing.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was so surprised with myself! I didn't think I knew the meanings behind them, but I did! This was a fun quiz. I'll have to make sure I add some roses into my next story. Thank you.
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Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (3.5)
I sure wish I had this kind of advice when I was in school! This is a fabulous inspirational piece. You give sound advice. The one thing I will say is that it was difficult to read, for me, because it was all one paragraph. I think you could break it up into at least two. Maybe at "I know this is spiraling but too many waste their time and energy on trying to be normal."

Judging has always been a thing and I'm sure it always will be because there are too many opinionated people out there who aren't afraid to share, even if it's unwanted.

My daughter dyed her hair blue. I took her to get it done. My husband made the comment, "She calls herself an introvert but goes out and does something that gets people's attention." That's just who she is. He's so judgy, I can't stand it sometimes. I found a website that states:
Blue hair: typically signifies a quiet, soft-spoken, intellectual, sometimes even introverted character – albeit often one with a surprisingly strong will.
May I share this with her?

This is one of my favorite sentences: Let them show you who they are instead of you deciding for them. I love that.

You did an excellent job with grammar and spelling. I found nothing that needs correction.

Kind of makes me want to print out a bunch of copies of this, laminate them, and have them ready to hand out to teens and tweens. Don't know if you have a school paper in which you could maybe get it printed, but I think people need to read this.

You've written a wonderful piece here. I hope you continue to write!

Write on!
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Review of ARE YOU A TEEN?  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I remember being a teen and the questions were the same then. (An extremely long time ago!) My daughter is now the same age as you are. I work hard to include her in almost everything I do and experience. I want her to enjoy, as you say, the beauty of being a teen. Excellent poem!
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Review of Outlook  
Review by Cackling QPdoll
Rated: E | (4.5)
Isn't this the truth! You did a fantastic job of summarizing our daily communications, for sure! You portrayed messages that we get from business and corporate leaders all the time. Sometimes it's almost like playing make-believe.

I really like your poem. Great job!
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