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Review of The Turnaround  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Norb,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Turnaround

First Impression: The realization that no matter where you go or have been someone has been there is overwhelmingly sad to me. I long for a place that no one has touched just once in my life. I know after a hard rain sometimes I run outside so I can experience just for a moment that crazy moment of newness.

What needs your attention: Nothing the pacing and flow are smooth. The free style form works very well here.

What part I liked best: You're unspeakable but I can hear you struck a chord with me. Their voices never leave us, do they? Even walking the straight and narrow doesn't give comfort or peace. Beautiful imagery with the autumn of your presence.

Overall impression: There is a poignant sadness in this work and a gentle reminder to try even when it feels like you can't. Very nicely done, Norb.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? It is always a pleasure to visit your port, I'm never disappointed. *Heart*
Lady Lyn Signature


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277
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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Gabriella

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Snowy February Morning

First Impression: I don't miss those mornings anymore. I did 35 years in Maine and shoveled the driveway more times then I wanted. Mother Nature was a fierce opponent. The imagery is beautiful.

What needs your attention: Macadam is an unusual word and it might be helpful to place an explanation at the bottom of the page so the reader gets what the author is saying. I had to look it then the poem made sense to me.
The pacing is good and the descriptions are lovely.

What part I liked best: The birds laughing as they dug their way out of paradise in a race back to civilization. I chuckled as I envisioned that image. I used to have chickadees watching me shovel all the time in Maine.

Overall impression: This was a nice stroll down memory lane for the reader as she enjoyed your poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Hope all is well with you Gabriella. The farmer's almanac is predicting a nasty winter for us. *Headbang*
Lady Lyn Signature


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278
278
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Michelle

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: You never get paid for your time

First Impression: AMEN! As a fellow crafter, I know exactly what you mean about people not wanting to pay for your time let alone cover the supplies. I used to do projects for people but don't anymore for that sole reason, people want everything for free or next to nothing.

What needs your attention: You have either a typo or a misspelling in this sentence. Thouse are all original designs with semi precious stones. It should be Those are all original designs with semi precious stones.

What part I liked best: I loved when the narrator offered the kit instead and the woman immediately didn't have time for that, of course not.

Overall impression:This struck a chord with the reader because she is also a fellow crafter. I quilt and crochet for my family only. Even sometimes I ignore the family requests because I don't see the things I have made displayed in their home.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? My current project is a 10-foot mandala for our bed, I discovered the video on youtube. I love being able to see the stitches done in the following a long craft project.
Lady Lyn Signature


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279
Review of The Lonely Tower  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Ben

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Lonely Tower

First Impression: I didn't see that coming at all. I enjoyed the twist on Rapunzel very much. The setup was really good and held the reader's attention.

What needs your attention: The quatrains with the abab rhyme scheme worked very well. I think you nailed it!

What part I liked best: The mystery in the beginning about the room was enticing and then the delivery of the golden hair caught in the cracks. The tension and delivery were perfectly timed.

Overall impression: A traveler looking for a place to stay wandered upon a sign with a room to rent but at first the location wasn't visible but upon some searching he discovered the tower but it didn't have an opening. After a bit of effort he discovered a face and a jagged tooth and golden hair caught in the cracks, these discoveries impacted his decision. Wise choice in my opinion. He might have been trapped there too with the now not so lovely Rapunzel.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my immense pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write on, Ben.
Lady Lyn Signature


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Review of Trees  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Daniel

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Trees

First Impression: The first two lines of your poem are clunky and need a bit of tweaking to improve the cadence of your piece. Everything else flows smoothly and feels natural.

What needs your attention: May I suggest this alternative opener to your poem.

Majestic beauty
rules the earth and sky
walking in the presence of greatness.

The reader doesn't know what the author is trying to say with beauty in majesty.

What part I liked best: Humbled by their immortal grace a never ending story says to the reader longevity and a peaceful existence are possible. Man could learn a lot from the trees.

Overall impression: The author wrote a lovely tribute to trees, he chose not to be specific about the type just trees. All of us are familiar with different types of trees and their contributions to society but often we overlook the fact that they filter the air we breathe as well.

The poem needs some tweaking but overall it is a nice tribute. My favorite trees are beech, red maple and the weeping willow. What are yours?

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write on!
Lady Lyn Signature


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Review of GoT Writings  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Cheri,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title:Go T Writings

First Impression: There is a variety of different responses to the prompts for Game of Thrones. In this review, I've chosen to focus on the entry for House of Black and White prompt 1.

What needs your attention: The punctuation and grammar are in order. The story flows smoothly in the narrator's voice.

What part I liked best: It felt like I was reading about several of my friend's lives. The dialogue and scenes felt natural. I particularly loved each had to have the last word and the chance to slam the door. Ain't that the truth, what;s the fun of having an argument if ya can't slam the door.

Overall impression: Dennis and Shay lived a typical life but the issue lie with Dennis's insecurities about his role in the marriage. He felt threatened by Shay's success gambling when he didn't have any. These feelings of frustration increased until he crossed the line and hit Shay.
Shay had already warned Dennis that this behavior was unacceptable and if it occurred then the marriage was over. Obviously, Dennis didn't believe Shay was strong enough to follow through with her convictions and hit her. I was very happy when I read Shay didn't falter and left him. One shot, you're done.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Good job, Cheri, I'm very proud of you. You're writing is improving immensely with all these different writing challenges. Keep up the good work.
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282
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Tim

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: This Labor Day Holiday

First Impression: Interesting view of Labor Day which was a time honored recognition of the working population but now seems to be more focused on the end of the summer season.

What needs your attention: First of all with the punctuation included the author needs to uncapitalize the beginning word on the line if it is part of the sentence. This signals to the reader where the author wants the reader to pause.
In the first stanza, there are repetitive words that drag the pacing down.
Uniquely meaningful while serving
as a time-honored tradition,
Labor Day peers provocatively down
our annual ledgers toward the joyous days of Fall.
Like a lucky rabbit's foot,
it signals Autumn's natural beauty
with mild climatic regimes
and waves an unfortunate farewell
to the glorious, active days of summer
while launching us in every other possible direction.

Just by removing the one and and adding with instead allows the flow to continue smoothly. In the second stanza you have of close to each and that can also be changed to minimize repetition and help with cadence.
In the second stanza Our year long education advances succinctly and passionately rolling over and on sounds better in my opinion then the clunky sentence you have.
A good friend of mine always nudges me to economize my words so there are no and's, of's, like's , as's or the's you might want to play with your poem and see if you can make that work.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed the gentle reminder of morals, ethics and ideology in our ever-growing plans. I think we need to remember we are part of the bigger picture and work toward a common goal.

Overall impression: The author introduced very nice imagery and provoking thoughts to inspire the reader about the approaching changes in the future. The poem needs some editing in this readers opinion for it to recieve a five star.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
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283
283
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


HiHooves

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Alliteration Station

First Impression: Alliteration station is more like a tongue twister heaven to me. I found reading it out loud a lot of fun and the words made me chuckle.

What needs your attention: I didn't note any punctuation or grammar errors but to be honest I didn't look either I was having to much fun with the vocabulary.

What part I liked best: tHiNG twitches tendons, tenatively taking time... man that was a doozy to roll off the tongue. When I got to atrocious Agatha and gleefully stumbled over words again I found myself totally embracing the musicality of the words.

Overall impression: Alliteration in poetry is difficult for some writers and yet others find it very easy to accomplish. I think you've demonstrated that it can be accomplished with practice. The poem was fun to read and I enjoyed reading and re-reading it as I wrote the review.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Team Florent is playing to win.
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284
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Pattie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Cornelius gets a Cold (ps. this reader has a cold, too! Summer colds are the worst!}

First Impression: Poor Cornelius had no idea what was happening to him. He met some interesting characters but none really had time to explain all that was happening.

What needs your attention: The reader is curious what age level does the writer have in mind because it notes children but the vocabulary used is definitely more adult than the typical child reading level. I didn't note any vocabulary or punctuation errors.

What part I liked best: Time and Release made me chuckle because they were on a mission and Corny was along for the ride. They knew exactly what their role was and how to accomplish it.

Overall impression: Poor Corny had to miss school and then struggle with the cold and all of its interesting aspects came to life. Thankfully, time and release were able to assist him in his recovery.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Who's your target audience?
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Review of Grave Warden  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Wolfbane

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Grave Warden

First Impression: A beautiful tribute to the fallen ones. Thank you for recognizing their lives.

What needs your attention: I've placed the requirements for this specific sonnet in the bottom of the review for me to reference as I review. This should be added to your piece so the reader can see what is required and be able to decide for themselves whether the criteria was met.
Yes, you have the end rhyming but it doesn't feel natural the lines feel forced instead of fluid.
Like I am the warden of the many grave. This sentence is clunky with the word many with the singular usage of grave. It should be many graves but then the rhyme doesn't work.
The quatrains and the couplets are there meeting the other requirement of the form.

What part I liked best: It is their memories I wish to save. It is definitely an honorable task placing their names on the granite head stones. My grandfather worked at the quarries in Barre, Vermont as a cutter at first then later as engraver.

Overall impression: I believe with some tweaking this sonnet can reach its full potential if the author does some editing.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Spenserian Sonnet Here, the "abab" pattern sets up distinct four-line groups, each of which develops a specific idea; however, the overlapping a, b, c, and d rhymes form the first 12 lines into a single unit with a separated final couplet. The three quatrains then develop three distinct but closely related ideas, with a different idea (or commentary) in the couplet. Interestingly,Spenser often begins L9 of his sonnets with "But" or "Yet," indicating a volta exactly where it would occur in the Italian sonnet;however, if one looks closely, one often finds that the "turn" here really isn't one at all, that the actual turn occurs where the rhyme pattern changes, with the couplet, thus giving a 12 and 2 line pattern very different from the Italian 8 and 6 line pattern (actual volta marked by italics):
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Review of The Spark  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Angela,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Spark and Ignorance is Bliss

First Impression: Both poems deliver a powerful message to the reader. The original poem says to me the narrator isn't ready to let go of the victim role and fly on her own yet. It's a difficult step and some women never successfully accomplish that step. The second poem delivers the point in a matter of fact manner from a strong woman who's danced with the devil and the devil lost.

What needs your attention: Both poems are free verse/style but the second poem has a better cadence and delivers a stronger punch to this reader. It's more precise and to the point leaving the reader no place to wander in thought. The second poem isn't as powerful or crypt and there are excess words which distract the reader from the narrator's voice.

What part I liked best: The opening in the first poem on the page caught my attention with a jackal masked as a man. Great opening line and the rest of the stanza sets the cadence. Direct and thought to provoke stanzas followed with the same to the point, that says the woman is not going down this road anymore.

In Ignorance not bliss the reader feels the narrator trying to make excuses for the offender and herself. She is not the blame. Though so many of us women feel like we did something wrong.
Overall impression: The voice between the two poems is clearly stronger which delights this reader immensely. I'm so happy for you, Angela.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Life is about the moments, I hope yours are everything you need and more. *Heart*
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287
287
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Flamebreather

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Living with Plushies

First Impression: I thought since I declined your challenge I would visit your port and review Living with Plushies so you could see I am genuinely doing something. With that said, I think you would enjoy visiting my house I have a large collection of stuffed teddies that would love your organizing skills for sure.

What needs your attention: Free style works very well in this poem paying tribute to plushies in your home. There doesn't appear to be any punctuation errors but I did feel the pacing needs a bit of tweaking.

What part I liked best: I loved arranging my teddy bears when I was younger but they definitely need some tlc these days. Do you make clothes for them to wear?

Overall impression: The author wrote a poem about plushies and how she arranges them before sleep in a pyramid. Everyone is accounted for and waiting for a new day to play.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Challenge 69 on the Tag was too much to pass, so no time for writing challenges right now. Try again in 72 hours.
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Review of Westeros  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Daughter of my Heart or should I say torturer of my soul.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Red Wedding

First Impression: I can tell you didn't sleep much from last years games to this years presentation of the different challenges. They are different, creative and tons of fun to do. I'm enjoying this year more than any of the previous years. I think the writing challenges have made people step up their writing which is what this site is about. You did an awesome job putting this and the other challenges together.

What needs your attention: I didn't see any punctuation or grammar errors. The directions were very specific and to the point.

What part I liked best: That the opponents if they decline can't be tagged for 72 hours. That can be a double edged sword if played right. I also liked that the challenger has to create his own prompts and not swipe them from your other writing challenges.

Overall impression: I think this and Black and White are my favorite writing challenges in the game. I appreciate the time you spent in putting the games together and thus far this year it has been so much fun. It saddens me that some parts were taken to far but overall the variety and different opportunities for every player have been great.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I'm playing to win!
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289
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Neva,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Dichromatic Echoes

First Impression: I am never disappointed when I visit your port, Neva. You have so many different genres covered with your writing, I am inmpressed. This is an unusual opening to a poem that made this reader stop and savor the first stanza before moving on.

What needs your attention: I think the free style with random rhyming adds to the weirdness and the darkness. Good choice.

What part I liked best: Black and white shadows dance across my closed eyelids gave me an eerie feeling and then when you compared the to Jekyll and Hyde which also complimented the picture. It was a haunting image to begin a poem with and you followed it so perfectly with the beginning of insanity.

Overall impression: This poem demonstrates perfectly how easily a mind can play tricks. The imagery is perfectly combined with the words and the pacing is perfect slowly leading the reader to the realization the inevitable insanity that's possible for all of us. Awesome job, Neva.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Going for the gold.
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Review of I Remember Daddy  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Neva, yup I'm still here

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: I remember Daddy.

First Impression: I think our family history is always interesting material for future writing exercises. I believe that we can retain memories that young although most people argue it's not possible. I have a weird memory myself around the age of two about leaving my bottle, {before the sippy cups became norm) my father's coffee cup was and taking his cup of coffee. I remember sipping the coffee and spilling some of it out of the awkward cup onto my white dress. My grandmother telling me that it was bad for me.

What needs your attention: in this sentence I think you intended to say belting not betting. "by the front of his t-shirt and started betting him."
In this line I think she sounds better than her. How did... George, told you. Didn't her?"


What part I liked best: I thought the dialogue between the sisters felt real and carried the story along nicely. I liked the cheshire grin on Jezebel when Magyn left the groceries and an overnight bag before speeding away because her plans had been foiled.

Overall impression: The story line felt believable and flowed smoothly. There were a couple of sentences that need the author's attention but overall a very enjoyable read. I enjoyed the character dialogue very much so. I could easily see it happening in my head.
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291
291
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Neva

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: I Never Saw Grandpa Wear Blue Jeans

First Impression: I chuckled because our grandfathers share something in common, maybe it was that era but no blue jeans for either of my grandparents on each side. I wonder why what the stigma was because now they are a norm regardless of age.

What needs your attention: This freestyle poem tells us a story about the author's grandfather. There is no rhyming pattern or a set form to critique. It flows smoothly in the free style storytelling.

What part I liked best:{/cas} His ordinary day were a lot like my grandfather's in Vermont and going to town or church clothes were never worn to do chores. They were for special occasions only. My grandfather always wore the dickie work pants and shirts and work boots for work and he had a nice pair of dress pants, white shirt and cardigan sweater and loafers he wore to church, and into town for errands
I remember as a child coming home from town and not going inside to change but going directly to the barn to see what he was doing. I got manure on my shoes. Needless to say, after the whooping I received I never made that mistake twice.

Overall impression: I enjoyed reading about your grandfather and the reminder of days past with my own. Times have changed so much from those days. Jeans are worn everywhere

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
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292
292
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Kare

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Tree of graduation

First Impression: As a letter I felt there was a bit of clunkiness in the second stanza that could be smoothed out. The remainder of the prose flows nicely.

What needs your attention: " Did I notice it back then, when in full splendor it stood along the path I strode?" I suggest I wish I had noticed it was in full splendor when I strode the path. " No more than you will see the beauty in its withered form today."


What part I liked best: I really like how you took us into the moment while you contemplated what memory to gift to Gaston.

Overall impression: I felt the vignette was a bit lost with the content. For me, it works as a prose poem with the rhythm, rhyme, and alliteration. I enjoy the creativity and imagery shown in this work. Kara, though when I write I prefer a more structured form.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? There was a lovely weeping willow that shaded me on many hot summer days while I wrote. It has since passed to that tree heaven but sometimes when I visit I feel a breeze and know it's there too.
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293
293
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Joey

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Is absinence the best policy?

First Impression: 30 days without sex, that's asking a lot for newlyweds. What a meanie, Joey!

What needs your attention: I didn't see anything but then I was laughing so much that if there were errors I didn't care.

What part I liked best: I chuckled when she dragged the poor guy off to church and then volunteered them for the 30 day challenge. Then when I got to the punch line after hearing hubby confess his attempts to avoid having sex with his wife to the pastor I burst right out laughing.

Overall impression: I've actually been inside an Albertson's when we visited Vic's Mom. We don't have them on the east coast. The story was delivered with a nice pace and the build up was perfect. The picture complimented the story and reminded the reader that the punch line was in a grocery store.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? This fox with her warped mind wants to know if there is some truth in the story since writers write what they know. *BigSmile* Just asking????
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Review of You Did What ??  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Winnie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: You Did What??

First Impression: This story reminded me that newspapers used to be printed this way. It's been quite awhile since I've heard a story about type setting. Newspapers have evolved and I'm not sure for the best.

What needs your attention: I didn't see any punctuation or grammar errors. The story flows smoothly and the punch line was delivered perfectly.

What part I liked best: Larry's feeble attempts to explain to Steve that it was a mistake. Steve wasn't open to discussion and Larry realized it was hopeless. I smiled seeing him carry his wife's picture under his arm as he left the building for the last time. He's a class act.

Overall impression: My only regret in reading the story was I would have liked seeing what the differences were actually in the newspaper. Although, with the restrictions of the flash fiction there probably wasn't enough space to do so.
Your characters felt real and I could see myself in the room with them when the scenarion unfolded. Poor Larry.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Larry was ready for a vacation anyway. I hope he is enjoying his days on the beach.
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295
295
Review of Double Wide  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi Ken,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Double Wide

First Impression: When I saw comedy was the genre I knew exactly which port to visit and you definitely delivered with this Walmart special. I thought the picture complimented your humorous tale of redneck love.

What needs your attention: This free style poem with quatrains and a specific rhyming pattern works very well. Each stanza contributed to the next smoothly and the pacing was dead on.

What part I liked best: Walmart does seem to attract some interesting clothing apparel on bodies of all sizes. Abandoning my cart of beer made me chuckle that's true love cos no redneck parts with his beer easily. Nor would a redneck be stopped by a little incest. Great conclusion to a humorous poem.

Overall impression: I think poetry opens the door to so many different topics using minimal words to tell a witty tale and you delivered this gem in grand style, almost with double-wide applause.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Ken slings out poetic humor and brings laughter to his readers better than anyone I know.
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296
296
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi Cheri

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Cancer Does Not Care

First Impression: As a three-time cancer survivor I want to congratulate you for writing about a topic dear to my heart. I also want to congratulate you on your own victory. As the poem title noted it doesn't care how old or how young you are when it strikes.

What needs your attention: Let's begin with the rhyming pattern in the second stanza, 3rd and 4th you have the first two lines rhyme where as you don't in the first. The first stanza lacks the same pacing as the next three.
To keep the pattern I suggest to match my indecisive sadness within.

What part I liked best: I connected with the poem because as a patient initally you notice how every thing goes on while feeling frozen in place with a death sentence. I hated how the drugs felt so the second stanza rmeinded me that every patient feels the same. Patience was not one of my virtues either, I wanted to be anywhere but there and yes we never lose sight of those dependent on us. They are our life line, when we feel like we can't do it.

Overall impression: The poem reminded this reader of her own experience but also it can let a reader know what a patient feels as well. Well done, Cheri.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? It's a difficult topic to address and you did an excellent job.
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297
297
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Judith

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Sanguine Tenacious Tidings

First Impression: It's always so much fun reading your entries because they're informative and engaging. I love how you connect different bloggers on the trip and note their unique talents like Neva, for incidence and her poetic skills. I agree she can write poetry.

What needs your attention: There was nothing distracting to this reader/ leader like punctuation or grammar, I can't say I was looking either I was enjoying the different entries.

What part I liked best: I didn't realize you're from Port Orange, I hope you enjoyed exploring. This is the great part of virtual traveling we learn so much about different areas without all the risks. Venezuela is not a country I would feel safe visiting right now with all the crime. Guyana is flagged as well as dangerous. As I was putting all the information together for our trip I was suprised how many South American countries are flagged as dangerous.

Overall impression: I like how you provide more information for the group to explore and expand their knowledge. Thank you for all your contributions to the activity. Very thoughtful entries, Judith.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Bueno noches,nina, duerma bien
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298
298
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi Carly

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Carly's Rambling Blog- Styele

First Impression:The entries are always enjoyable to read. I've always appreciated your directness about the different topics over the years.
What needs your attention: Not a dang thing, a blog is supposed to be fun and a way to get one's mind open to writing regularly.

What part I liked best: The wound of not knowing struck a chord with me because my oldest daughter I placed for adoption when I was in high school. I never knew where she was or with who and it worried me all the time. Lael reached out to me when she was 21 and she voiced the same issues of not knowing.

Your entries about South America are engaging and full of fun stuff for any reader to enjoy about the different cities. It's always fun doing these virtual trips because you learn so much a long the way with a group of fun people.

Overall impression: Blogging is an interesting way to open one's mind to opportunities in writing. Every day has so many possibilities to expand our skill set and to make new friends.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Buenos Noches nina, duerma bien
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299
299
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Ken, how are you?

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: To Begin Again

First Impression: Interesting poem with a specific form maintained through out. I like the cadence and how easily it flows off the tongue when reading

What needs your attention: The quatrain with a common meter works very well for this poem. It didn't feel forced. Kudos

What part I liked best: I enjoyed how you closed the poem with dreams of a new Garden of Eden. From learning that H. G. Wells work was done was a great reminder of other believers that goals are achievable. Is it possible to control any situation once greed enters a picture? It worries me that if we ever do make it to another planet that we'il repeat all of the same mistakes again.

Overall impression: A quatrain works very well and the fact that you followed a specific meter was a pleasant surprise for the reader. Thank you for delighting this reader.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write ON. Ken, your work, unlike H. G. Wells, is not done.
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300
300
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Webbie,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: I Hate Early Morning Visitors

First Impression: I didn't get the feel Lou hated early morning visitors he disliked having cops visit him in the morning. Probably anytime is more like it. I feel the same way, I need a pot of coffee to be civil and having a cop at my door wouldn't be a good thing.

What needs your attention: This time I clearly felt like I was with Lou the whole time. I didn't note any punctuation or grammar errors. The story flowed smoothly from scene to scene.

What part I liked best: Lou likes his dames, that jumped right out at me. He shmoozed Estelle with his charm at the perfume counter and she had no idea he wasn't really shopping. Estelle paying off the bad guy to protect her husband from her past was sweet. I loved Gloria showing up at the end and he had Valentine's Day covered. Lucky!

Overall impression: Lou seems to have knight in shining armor covered, I've read two pieces and both times he's shot a guy to save the dame. Columbo would be proud of you both, nice endings!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Lou is a saofty! Okay, on to the next port 10 team members and 20 reviews so I need to get my butt moving.
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