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376
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Lula Lady

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Walk in the woods

First Impression: I was curious what the child discovered so I ventured into read. I am still wondering what the child discovered.

What needs your attention: The reader was confused as to what is a logging plant. After pondering briefly assumed the author meant a paper mill because they produce a lot of steam with the boilers and impact the wood lands.
The author did not make the story clear enough for the reader.

What part I liked best: The child walking in the woods with joy, there is something magical about being in the woods surrounded by all the giant trees. It is devastating to see what a forest looks like after it has been clear cut by the paper mills. I lived in Maine where this was a common practice and it made me sick every time I saw what they did with the heavy equipment.

Overall impression: The poem has potential, it simply needs a bit of tweaking so every reader understands the point the author is making. I am glad she rescued a few trees.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Keep on writing!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
377
377
Review of The Kiss  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Joey,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Kiss

First Impression: I'm glad I decided to peruse your port a bit more. I came across the image of the two women kissing and my interest was piqued. I am human after all.

What needs your attention: That is an interesting way of spelling brunet but just so you know for future reference.
a person having brown or black hair and often a relatively dark complexion —spelled brunet when used of a boy or man and usually brunette when used of a girl ...
www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/brunet
Merriam‑Webster

What part I liked best: Well, I won't lie to you. This reader enjoyed Lori and Sherry's kiss scene very much. The author did a wonderful job writing how it unfolded and the reaction of the men watching. I chuckled when they decided that looking at cars wasn't as appealing.
I laughed when I saw the author noted viagra wasn't necessary either, just simple recall worked wonders.

Overall impression: There is something to be said for seeing what once was a taboo take place. Personally, I enjoy watching a good kiss regardless of their gender.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? How come you didn't invite me? I love football and being a voyeur.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
378
378
Review of 100 Times  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Mrs. Brandiwyn,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: 100 Times

First Impression: I've done a few stretches myself on a Greyhound bus so I was curious what was here. Wow, this is the first time I've come across a song with the notes and then the video of the author singing it. Wicked cool!

What needs your attention: Nothing, it flows smoothly when read out loud although my voice did not do it justice.

What part I liked best: I thought the whole piece was very moving. My favorite part was verse 4 with twenty hours and the visual images the author shared with the reader so she could experience what the young woman was feeling in that moment.

Overall impression: The story evolved with a young woman leaving behind a situation that wasn't good for her like her Mother had. A repeated cycle, hopefully with a better ending for Maria. Greyhound trips are long but great places to contemplate changes in your life.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? You have a beautiful voice! Thank you for sharing the written song and you singing the song. *Heart*
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
379
379
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Lochinver

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Whose Crush Is It Anyway?

First Impression: I felt so sad for the young girl, Kelly, in the story that Oliver didn't have a clue how she felt and then to inquire about her best friend being his date at prom. I don't miss those days at all.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the story flowed smoothly from beginning to end. The punctuation, grammar and dialogue tags all looked in order. There was nothing that distracted this reader from her enjoyment.

What part I liked best: Kelly repeating each day verbatim to her bestie Stacey as most young girls do. The ritual is very familiar to the reader. There was no indication at all in the story that Oliver was interested in Stacey until the very end, nicely done! I felt so sorry for Kelly. I would have stayed transfixed to my journal too!

Overall impression: The story was told from the point of view of Kelly about her crush on Oliver her lab partner. Unfortunately, Oliver was clueless and had no idea that Kelly liked him. The twist at the end was unexpected when he inquired about Kelly's best friend Stacey and the prom. What a horrible position to be in? If she tells Stacey what he wants to know, Stacey will feel guilty knowing hos Kelly feels about Oliver. If she doesn't say anything Oliver will most likely ask Stacey directly and if Stacey says why she declined than Kelly will be on the spot.
Oh the joys of youth, I am glad I survived them and they are in the past.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Did Kelly tell Stacey? What happens next?
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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380
Review of 3R's  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Vivian, how are you?

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: 3R's

First Impression: The title caught my eye and then the description piqued my curiosity. Thank you for writing such a lovely tribute to all of us on WDC! Yes, we do learn from each other.

What needs your attention: The couplets work very well in this reminder poem how important writers and reviews are to each other. It flows smoothly without feeling forced, it's clear it came from the heart.

What part I liked best: We feed the authors with our knowledge, yes, indeed we do. I have learned so much since joining this wonderful sight because of the reviewing process. Some times the suggestions are all I've needed to turn a mediocre piece into a hit. Your last two couplets speak volumes on the importance of writers working together.

Overall impression: This poem written in couplets is a tribute to writers of all levels and a gentle reminder to those same writers how important reviewing is in the learning process. Awesome Vivian!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Authors need the reviewing process to improve their craft!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of MY WHITE HAT  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Marti,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: My White Hat

First Impression: I saw the descriptions as I face dying and before I read checked to see when you were online last. I was relieved to see you are not a white case. Facing one's immortality is difficult to address in poetry and you did a beautiful job.

What needs your attention: The rhyme pattern chosen works well and does not feel forced throughout the poem. The reader is curious as to why all the letters are capitalized. Usually capitals are for punctuation sake or used as an expression of anger.

What part I liked best: The author sharing her initial meeting with her love and how it evolved with the white hat. I enjoyed reading how the relationship grew over the years. My husband remembers my fiery red hair in the sunlight, he said it struck his attention immediately. We were at a mutual friend's outdoor gathering.

Overall impression: I enjoyed going down memory lane with the author briefly. I hope she has many more years ahead of her and him both.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? How's the white hat holding up? My fiery red hair is snow white now, so I'm now sporting my own white cap.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
382
382
Review of Master  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi April,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Master

First Impression: The loss of innocence is never an easy decision as shown in this poem. There are conflicting emotions and doubt as to the wisdom of the precious gift after because of the boy's behavior.

What needs your attention: There is a rhyming pattern of abab that works well here and appears to this reader that it meets the line pattern for a sonnet. It flows smoothly and does not feel forced.

What part I liked best: The third stanza really struck a chord with this reader, all the emotions of the young woman seeping down her cheeks at the discovery of the betrayal and how little it meant to the other party. My heart swelled in sadness for the young woman and her betrayal.

Overall impression: Sadly, this happens too often with young women. I think the author shared an intimate moment in a young woman's life in a beautifully written poem so other young women realize how valuable that gift is and to think before giving it away. And for those who experienced the same situation to know you are not alone.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Excellent job!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
383
383
Review of Weekend Away  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Ham,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Weekend Away

First Impression: This took me back to Vic and my early days in our relationship, I lived in Maine and he in New Jersey. We were always meeting halfway somewhere. The crazy things lovers will do to be together.

What needs your attention: The punctuation and grammar look in order. There are a lot of long sentences that the reader would rather see broken into smaller ones to help pick up the pace. The key is to mix them up.

What part I liked best: I'm a woman, I enjoyed Chloe's character immensely! Her actions reminded me of myself. James reminded me of my guy, he was always in a hurry to begin and I had to be the one to slow things down. The couples were believable and the setting was clearly one for seduction. Well done!

Overall impression: I enjoyed my voyeur experience and enjoyed a brief meander into my own memories. The story flowed nicely and held my interest from beginning to end.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Did Chloe and James marry?
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
384
384
Review of My Pal Johnny  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Kevin,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: My Pal Johnny

First Impression: First of all, I wish to extend my condolences. It does not matter how old we are losing a friend is not easy. Your tribute to his memory was very nicely done.

What needs your attention: The author chose an abab rhyme pattern in this work, it appears to work well here. There was nothing that took me out of the piece. It flowed smoothly from beginning to end.

What part I liked best: I chuckled at wee wee little boys, the words were inviting to the reader so you she ventured into see where the story was going. Time does fly when you are having fun, which to the reader seems apparent. Then the author evolves forward with the two boys growing apart.
It was very sad, discovering that Johnny's name was on the morning paper's front page. That must have been difficult to find out that way.

Overall impression: A heartbreaking story about two boys that grew apart as men often do. The one boy saw a picture of his friend on the front page of the paper. The author chose to write a poetry to resolve his emotions, I hope he was successful

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? RIP in Johnny! Thank you for sharing glimpses of this life and yours.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
385
385
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Kenword

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Wedded To The Storm

First Impression: Ya, a Kryielle Sonnet, I keep trying to master them so they do not sound forced. You did an excellent job.

What needs your attention: Nothing, this is a form I am very familiar with and the author nailed it. The rhyme feels natural and adds to the poem's flow.

What part I liked best: The second and third stanzas to me really jumped out. I love the description of the woman in her gold gilded high heel shoes. Great imagery throughout this stanza for the reader. The third stanza sets the scene and the emotions evoked between them. Seethed and wreathed were excellent choices in combination with thunder roll.

Overall impression: It indicates this is in response to a prompt Keeper of the Storms. I feel the response worked very well based on the author's work. The Kryielle Sonnet is a very restrictive syllable and line placement and the author got it and totally rocked the visual imagery with it.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Happy Birthday Ken!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
386
386
Review of A Sister Lost  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Nicki,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Sister Lost

First Impression: Acrostics are so much fun to do in my opinion and it appears you agree. Great way to address emotional baggage in a confined manner.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the author fulfilled the requirements of an acrostic. A Sister Lost was the title and the first letter of each line also spelled a sister lost. The poem flowed smoothly and did not feel forced to the reader.

What part I liked best: How the author introduced us to the sibling in the beginning and then went to the heart of the matter with sadness tortures my soul. Powerful hook! Then the author proceeds to share the reasons behind her thinking and closes with the realization that her suffering is most likely unnoticed which added more anguish to the tale. The reader could feel the author's hurt and feeling of betrayal from beginning to end. Heartwrenching!

Overall impression: The poem discussed two siblings and the separation that occurred between them. The author shared her sense of loss and hurt about the situation within the restrictions of an acrostic. Beautifully done!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I was hapy to see at the conclusion A Sister Found!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
387
387
Review of Sensual Insanity  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Elsa,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Sensual Insanity

First Impression: I felt the anger and raw emotion jumping off the page from the narrator, I wasn't sure if I wanted to linger or flee.

What needs your attention: Nothing the free style works here. I don't get a steady meter flow or an established rhyme pattern. There are parts where there is rhyming and others not which gives the reader a feeling of bursts of emotions sizzling.

What part I liked best: I like the repetitiveness in some of the verses, it adds to the emotions evoked to the reader. My favorite stanza was Better watch your step as you're gonna fall. Bitch, you've worked so hard and now you're gonna lose it all. If only your words to God's ears, I am blessed with having annoying bitch in my world.

Overall impression: I sense the narrator has had enough and wants the protagonist to use their brains. If only it was that easy to make the person think. I noticed musical interlude is this intended to be a song or a poem.
The rawness of the poem came across the page loud and clear, good job!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write ON!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
388
388
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Review #5

Hi Vivacious

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Who am I? Who Will I Be?

First Impression: These are questions I ask myself quite often so I decided to see what your answers would be.

What needs your attention: This is written in a free style form which gives the author more leeway than other forms. The reader wondered why the author chose punctuation in some places and none in the other. It is distracting to this reader.

What part I liked best: "The answer eludes, the answer teases," yes, it does and haunts us on and off most of life. I find that the more time I invest in trying to decide who I am or who I will be the more reality intervenes and gives me more to consider.

Overall impression: It's reassuring to know that I am not the only one who ponders these questions. The poem reminded the reader that although the questions surface we have to remember that not everyone else will care and we need to focus on what works best for us.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Who am I? I am a writer and so are you, Vivacious! Write ON!
Lyn


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389
389
Review of random etchings  
for entry "Rails" 
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Review # 1

Hi Rhyssa, How are things going? We haven't crossed paths since the Construct, did they ever announce a winner or simply blow it off.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Rails

First Impression: I enjoyed the imagery, your poetic skills paid off big time here. I could see every detail in mind vividly.

What needs your attention: Nothing that jumped out at me. The sentences all built upon each other and added to the previous in a consistent flow. The grammar and punctuation looked good.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed seeing the boys run along the train in mind, the plans they made in their heads and then Mom burst their bubble with the dinner call. Oh the dalliances of youth, I miss those days when responsibility didn't weigh on the mind.

Overall impression: The story the author wove was about a town that once thrived with the coal industry and then vanished in the story leaving the reader with a memory of its existence. It is a sad reminder of the past in so many towns in different parts of our country. I love how you began and ended with the mist like this reader has seen over valleys where she lived.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Beautiful imagery, Rhyssa!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
390
390
Review of A Candid Candy  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

review # 8

Hi B.D. Mitchell

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Candid Candy

First Impression: I laughed out loud, which made my husband wonder what I was reading so I read it to him too! We both enjoyed it immensely.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the punctuation and grammar are in order. The dialogue flows smoothly and draws the reader along in an orderly manner without confusion. This was quite enjoyable to read with just the dialogue.

What part I liked best: Apparently our handbook has a section on curses. That was delivered so smoothly. And then proceeding to encourage the man to buy a ludicrous amount of candy to rid himself of the curse. Great salesmanship delivery. And then to close with the typical customer service spiel, perfect ending.

Overall impression: I ventured into your port because of the Games but I did not anticipate discovering humorous dialogue that would make me laugh. I needed a good laugh today and you delivered ten fold. Thank goodness, I don't have to make a purchase the poor man who bought the Swecco candies. I've always wondered who dreams up the sayings on the candy. I think they need an upgrade too!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thanks for giving my day a much needed boost! Write On!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
391
391
Review of Passionesque!  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Webbie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Passionesque

First Impression: It is clear to this reader, Webbie has inspiration at home, her handsome muse serves her very well.

What needs your attention: Nothing, I can see why this poem is supporting that lovely award. It flows beautifully and paints a poignant story from beginning to end.

What part I liked best: I felt like a voyeur watching a couple having an intimate discussion. The reader was invited into the setting with the couple and the author assuring the sweet man that he was not alone. She gave examples and closed with the reminder that it was more than just the two of them but God made it so. That was a beautiful closing.

Overall impression: I enjoyed sharing the experience of reading the woman's pledge of love to her sweet man. I enjoyed even more seeing the spiritual closing because it gave the reader a closer look at magical the gift of love can be from God. It is awesome when you are loved and love in return, there is nothing greater is there?

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Happy Anniversary Webbie, your contributions on WDC are amazing, we are truly blessed that you are among us.
Lyn


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392
392
Review of Silent Seduction  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Webbie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Silent Seduction

First Impression: Oh boy, this sounds like my kind of setting! Oh boy, it got even better there's a handsome hunk there too!

What needs your attention: Nothing, the author has chosen a descriptive, free style form which works very well in this poem. The author chose to punctuate and it looks in order, Too!

What part I liked best: Well, the details of the handsome man taunted stirred my interest but then reading on the reader discovered the man is clearly the author's domain with the man I love. A bold declaration of love and with her lips pursed shamelessly there is no doubt in this readers mind the author's confidence about her world is right on. I am very happy for you Webbie, love is incredible!

Overall impression: This reader enjoyed an intimate glance into Webbie's world, she lingered long enough to savor the details before leaving the couple to their own devices which I am quite sure they can handle.
Beautifully told, Webbie!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
393
393
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Winnie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Misunderstood Comma,

First Impression: I am still referring back to all the information you provided us last semester, so when I saw this I felt like the moth to the flame. I am trying to go over all the info in my head about the word so and comma right now. I'm second guessing myself on the comma after semester before so right now.
I've decided it goes there because of fanboys.

What needs your attention: Nothing, says this student to the teacher with her hands sheepishly tucked in her pockets.

What part I liked best: I chuckled reading this because it was amusing to see the comma as the topic. Who would think a comma could funny and intimidating all at once? I can't envision to many writers accomplishing what you have Winnie with your passion about commas.
Now I know I am a commaphobia! I've been clearly recognized! *Facepalm*

Overall impression: I found the article fun to read McWhorter and Curzan's opinions added interest to the essay. I look at all the texting with the shortcuts and lack of punctuation and cringe at what communication is coming too!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Yikes, I'm in the teacher's port reviewing. That dang comma flame attracted me again.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
394
394
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Review 5

Hi Annie,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Windows of the Morning

First Impression: Early mornings are my favorite part of the day. This tribute to that time of day indicates this is yours as well.

What needs your attention: In the second couplet I think you might be served with a different word than fresh two times in a row. Have you consider fresh air, crisp smells it will give you the same meaning but not be repetitive.

What part I liked best: "Rejuvenate,re-imagine
Feeling positive, feeling energized" I enjoyed the positive message and the encouragement. It gave this reader a feel good feeling.


Overall impression: First of all welcome to WDC and the Game of Thrones experience. This poem reminded the reader of things she loves about mornings and some things she hadn't thought about trying. Downward dog and side angle are yoga terms aren't they? Exercising is good for all of us.
Everyday is a new beginning as you indicated as well and make for wonderful mornings.
Hope yours are everything you want them to be.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
395
395
Review of At the Root  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Review 4 week of July 7th-July 13th.

Hi Walkingbird

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: At the Root

First Impression: This exercise sound like a lot of fun. Did you do over in the Poet's Place with Dave

What needs your attention: Nothing jumped out at me or took me out of the poem.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed the comparison of being buried when dead of being stored away in a root cellar of the Great Mother. I hadn't thought about it but once we are in the ground we are actually in Mother's earth care. I chuckled when I came to season and prepared for a great final feast and labeled with heroes names. It reminded me of dinner last night, we had General Tao's Chicken.
The closing was perfect two again replay our musical wedding march, that reminds me love existed before death its well seasonned victims.

Overall impression: The metaphors' worked very well in this work. The images created on each line invite conversation to explore the poem further.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Beautifully done!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
396
396
Review of The Jester  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Review 1 of week July7-13th

Hi Jim

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Jester

First Impression: Interesting title which caught my attention. I believe adults as well as children need time to forget all their worries too. I was surprised when you implied it was his curse.

What needs your attention: Anyone and alone took me briefly out of the poem, to me they felt forced and didn't quite fulfill the rhyme scheme whereas all of the remaining line end rhymes did.

What part I liked best: The survivor guilt he feels for living longer than the children he entertains briefly. It took me a second read for that to truly register because initially I was taken back by the fact that he felt his gift to entertain was a curse. But in the second read, all the pieces fit together. He would rather not have this gift if it meant all the children did not suffer with cancer.
It is a horrible disease and it breaks my heart seeing a child ill and struggling to survive.

Overall impression: This was very well written! I believe we need more jesters in this world because clearly our world would be much better if everyone focused on what they could do to ease our'suffering.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
397
397
Review of Joy of the Muse  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 



Hi Loti,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Joy of the Muse

First Impression: Your joy in writing this jumped off the page at the reader, the imagery was beautifully created and masterfully told.

What needs your attention: In the second stanza the one word that takes me out of the flow of the poem is the word cataract. Unless cataract has a different meaning in Canada then here it is crystals that form inside the eye and attach to the lens. They stay firmly in place blocking the view rather than increasing the view or making it clearer. Cascading like a river in spring or something similar that indicates movement rather than the stuck in place of cataract. Just food for thought. Everything else flowed beautifully.

What part I liked best: The third stanza really drew me with deep and quick my breathing comes and then in a moment the life is stolen so quickly without a hint of its approach like life itself. We have to live in moment before its gone. Then the reader realized the narrator's muse led us into darkness and then lifted us as quickly to soar with joy.

Overall impression: Beautiful imagery and the poem flowed smoothly with the exception of the one word that took me out. I realize that every author has a reason for their word selections I'm curious as to yours.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
398
398
Review of Silent Scream  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 



Hi Aundria,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Silent Scream

First Impression: I felt like you discovered the secret I've kept tucked away because I've never understood what happened, I just know it did. It saddens me that the narrator also knows this sorrow.

What needs your attention: The abab pattern works very well here and does not feel forced. The stanzas build upon each other creating a moving story like a tear drop slowly trickling down her cheek so the reader feels her pain.

What part I liked best: "I yearn to have you need me, to reach for me again" drew a breath from me as I read, I emphasized with her pain. The opening stanza showed me who and gave me inklings into the breakdown between the girls but when I reached I yearn ... her suffering became real. Everything after that built upon her pain and then the suffering slid back into that place where it hides, because it is too painful to address.
Beautifully expressed!
Overall impression: Friendships are difficult to end and the loss can be devastating. It can be quite challenging without that person we depended on for so long. I know for me losing Sharon felt like my heart was yanked out of my chest, I was closer to her than any of my siblings. I still don't understand what went wrong, I just know it ended in silence and nothing I did opened the door again

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
399
399
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 



Hi Sanita

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Look With Your Heart

First Impression: Amen! I truly wish that all people would remember this before they opened their mouths. Our society as a whole is very judgmental

What needs your attention: Nothing the rhyme pattern of aabb works very well in this instance. The poem flows smoothly and does not feel forced.

What part I liked best: "When you see someone begging on the street, do not look away." I've known people who have faced living on the street and they said the hardest thing for them was people avoiding eye contact, it made them feel bad even less than human. They do not choose their circumstances.
I agree with your thinking, kindness and compassion are the greatest gifts we can give and they come without any price tag. That simple hello can make all the difference and who knows we may make a new friend.

Overall impression: This is beautifully written and provides a gentle reminder to all of us that we are all God's children and our differences are what make us each unique and equal in his/her eyes.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
400
400
Review of Halloween  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 



Hi Harry,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Halloween

First Impression: Ah, my favorite holiday of all. I've never outgrown the fun of dressing up and I am 60. Although, I do take immense pleasure in decorating my home for Halloween too! Is this poem the result of your childhood memories?

What needs your attention: The aa bb rhyme scheme works and does not feel forced in this three stanza and an ending couplet. Each stanza built on the tale and contributed to the conclusion.

What part I liked best: Goblins and ghosts hide from the light of jack-o-lanterns burning bright. I have fond memories of carving pumpkins over the years and how pretty they looked lit up. Thank you for reminding me of those good times.

Overall impression: This was an enjoyable poem to read about my favorite holiday. October is the best month to me because of all the decorations and the opportunity to wear some really cool costumes. So much fun to be had regardless of your age.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I will check out your books Harry! Congratulations on being a published author.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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