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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review number # 5 week of: 1/4-1/11
Yellow rose


Hi Rhyssa, your poem came up in random review and it wasn't one about spam. That made me chuckle, remembering all your awesome entries as we competed in those perverse contests by lizco252 I'm looking forward to the next one, how about you?

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

As a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: my worst birthday, ever


First Impression: What initially caught my attention was the lack of capitals in the title which added to the sadness of the day being ruined by another move.

What needs your attention:
but I was sure this transfer day
I wouldn’t have to move
‘cause every other Transfer Day
before, I had removed.

I suggest you changed removed to moved.

so tired and sore, on depot porch,
I think adding a before depot will help the sentence flow.

Favorite Parts: The sadness and frustration of the move jumped off the page especially especially in the stanzas about the baggage gaining weight and again when she was crying. I would have been, too!

Overall Impression: The author shared a story about a young woman's 23rd birthday and how it unfolded with an unwanted move with almost notice to prepare and all of the frustrations. It was an engaging read, my heart went out to the woman. I would have had said a lot more to the boss responsible for ruining my birthday had it been me.

Thank you for letting me read your work, Rhyssa. It was my pleasure! Lyn




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Review of Piano exams  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review number # 4 week of: 1/4-1/11
Yellow rose


Hi Flamebreather

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

As a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Piano exams


First Impression: I felt like I was in the room with her experiencing it too! Awesome job, the tension was perfect throughout.

What needs your attention: Other than the frequency of hyphens nothing disrupted my enjoyment. I did wonder why you chose to use them as I was reading. The sentences and paragraphs flowed smoothly from one to the next.

Favorite Parts: I love the descriptions of the three pieces she played for the proctor. I tried to imagine the notes in my head. I would have bolted from the room heading for the nearest bathroom after that kind of stress. I was very proud of the young woman.

Overall Impression: This was a delightful read about a young woman taking a piano exam. Bravo for her! The story was engaging from the opening line to the end.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my IMMENSE pleasure! Lyn




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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review number # 3 week of: 1/4-1/11
Yellow rose


Hi Neva, your poem appeared in the random review.

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

As a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Ab Encounter with Depresssion and Fear


First Impression: Depression is a difficult thing to overcome. You have tackled it very well in this poem.

What needs your attention:
The title is quite long, I suggest Depression Encounters and then elaborate more in the description.
Random threads dangle from memory's web,
And the spider of my thoughts appears confused,
I think appears should be appear because thoughts is plural already.

As depressions night advances toward morning, This line does not flow smoothly. I suggest you consider as a depression night advances toward morning.

Favorite Parts: Random threads dangle from memory's web This is so true for a person suffering with depression, all the random threads overwhelm and hold them in a vise.

Overall Impression: I am never disappointed when I visit your port, Neva. You're an awesome writer. This poem says a lot about depression and its issues.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure! Lyn




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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review number # 3

Hi Walkinbird

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Our Living and Loving


First Impression: There are so many people who get caught up with the illusion of love, the need to feel wanted when it's not really love but physical attraction/ sexual satisfaction.

What needs your attention: The author noted it was a modified quadrilew, it's a form I am unfamiliar with but do note there is a line repeat pattern and end rhymes. The poem does not feel forced when read.

Favorite Parts: Decades erode, disgusting! Your devotion outs, How I'm readjusting. Yay, that says a lot about how many of us realize over time that a lot of time has passed and we aren't fulfilled. Life has passed us by, the daily routines are just means of escape and we've buried our doubts and denied our depression out of sight.

Overall Impression: This poem demonstrates how easily one can deceive them about their existence with another so as not to feel or think about the problem. Depression is a very real issue and the numbers suffering are probably higher than documented because people kept it hidden in shame.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


Yellow rose


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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Rich,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Somewhere to play

First Impression: Obviously, the author has a sense of humor because in the title he has somewhere to play and in the description his blog is going to take over the world. Some how playing seems to the reader the challenge. Maybe I need to see what he does for play.

What needs your attention: Blogs are written for enjoyment or as sources of information so determining their purpose defines the importance of punctuation and grammar.

What part I liked best: I chuckled at the thought of sleeping through the winter solstice in June and then it dawned on me that the author must be located in the southern hemisphere unlike me in the northern hemisphere where it is the longest day not the shortest. If my goal was to sleep through it completely then I would stay up 48 hours prior to assure my exhaustion. I am all about the planning.
The counting blessings entry made me chuckle, I've actually wondered that same thing when looking at the world's population. I love seeing baby animals too and I am also grateful they haven't populated at the same pace as humans. There would be more problems than we have now.

Overall impression: There are a variety topics covered in this different blog, I'll have to come back and see how he's doing with blogging take over.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write on!
Lyn


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Review of BETTER  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Onyx

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Better

First Impression: Hope does spring eternal and your poem certainly aspires to the possibilities. The author notes throughout the poem that simply waiting for others to act will not resolve the issues of our society, we as a whole must act.

What needs your attention: This free verse works with the uneven rhyming pattern. The reader did not find it distracting when reading each stanza although with some simple tweaks, the random rhymes could be removed.

What part I liked best: "Life isn't paradise yet, but wouldn't that be wild." The reader liked the uplifting thoughts in the middle of the poem, reminding her what is possible when allowing our hearts to be open to change and to unity with our fellow man. I agree change is possible, and if each of us made the steps to work together, our world would exist in peace.

Overall impression: The author chose a theme of possibility, spreading the word to all non-believers that change is desired!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Today, we change tomorrow!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Mage of Old  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Percy

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Mage of Old

First Impression: Your muse spoke loudly to me in this creative tribute of coming to age, the cycle of life.

What needs your attention: The first line is the only part that hangs me up Magic is a magic does, did you mean magic is as magic does? Changing a to as gives the line a smoother flow. The author chose quatrains with an abcb rhyme pattern which works very well with his story.

What part I liked best: Cycle like the seasons ends of the self same thread, yes we do all live similar lives but forget that we share that commonality, we get so wrapped into the single mentality instead of the whole.
Yes, pain and pleasure go hand in hand, each serve a purpose in our evolution, it's up to us how we walk that next mile.

Overall impression: I enjoyed the words of wisdom from the mage reminding the young the cycle continues for us all. We are all in this journey together.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Excellent!
Lyn


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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Storm Cloud 2

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Leads me back to her

First Impression: I wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss, it doesn't get easier regardless of your age. It hurts so much. The introduction is a bit confusing, initially I thought the author was talking about two losses a friend and her sister because of the wording. As I read I realized the author was referring to one individual that she loved like a sister but was her best friend.

What needs your attention: In this sentence you did not capitalize Lani--" When I first met lani, she was just some weird, loud, obnoxious girl"

What part I liked best: How the author shared examples of things Lani had done in life and how she helped the author discover things. The author was blessed to have found a friendship so special in life, and please remember you will be together again in the after life. In the mean time she is watching over you and yours.

Overall impression: This clearly was a tribute to Lani and a way for the author to handle her grief over her dear friends death. The reader was given an awesome glimpse into both women's lives, thank you for sharing Lani and your story with us.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? You are never alone!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Walkinbird,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes and I am the judge for July in Tales of Seduction.

Title: Emily, as only he saw her

First Impression: The mystery indeed expanded by a writer not so sure about a poet writing the introduction to this piece. This was an unusual response to prompt one with one living woman and the author's imaginary projection of the poet Dickinson in the older man's fantasy. It is clear to the reader that the author is fond of Dickinson's poetry.

What needs your attention: Not sure why this is capitalized "against Her power," the reader didn't feel there was enough emphasis in the story line to warrant it. Everything else in the story line flowed smoothly.

What part I liked best: Becky teasing the older man with visual reminders of the photographs that he desired of Emily as foreplay. She seemed to enjoy the way he responded.

Overall impression: Thank you for writing this different take on prompt 1, it was a fun read with lots of different details to amuse the reader a long the way.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you for entering Tales of Seduction!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Charlie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes and also the judge for July in Tales of Seduction.

Title: The Woman in the Window

First Impression: This was a compelling read from beginning to end, the reader enjoyed immensely the author's response to prompt one.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the punctuation and grammar look in order, there was nothing that distracted the reader. The story flowed smoothly.

What part I liked best: Micah having a dress created for Camille was an interesting detail and the discussion of her beloved brush added a personal glimpse of Camilla. I felt bad for Micah weighing out the decision about the house, flip and recover his investment and not have to work or reside there with a ghost. He was blinded by love and forgot that Camille was a part of the house not real and would keep repeating her death when threatened with leaving it.

Overall impression: A cleverly woven tale about a man being seduced by a ghost, he becomes so involved in his fantasy he loses sight of the fact that the house and ghost are attached and his plan for the future are not what he thought. Camille's attachment was not to him at all but the house, it was always her one true love.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you for entering Tales of Seduction!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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for entry "The Forgotten Banjo" 
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Rumi

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Quilting the Poems, The Forgotten Banjo

First Impression: I laughed when I got to the end and realized I chose a piece written for the game of thrones and I'm here doing a review for the games especially with all the choices in your book, I chose this one to read.

What needs your attention: Not a thing, the author chose free verse with gives a lot of leeway for creativity.

What part I liked best: Thump thump, thump, is mantra today with the shouted words and wasted lyrics. The author created a powerful image in this stanza reminding the reader about all the music over time that has been forgotten when once it was sang like the forlorn banjo waiting to be remembered again.
I've been lucky in my life to see banjos played here in the states, I'm not sure they are the same quality as what you have there but they are a haunting sound that appeals to me. I am particularly fond of the harp, cello and the banjo musical sounds.

Overall impression: This reader found this very enjoyable to read and appreciated the link to learn more about the banjo in Indian culture. This reader hopes the banjo will not be standing alone very long, that a musician will remember the joy found in strumming its strings.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Beautiful selection to peruse!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
337
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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Rumi

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Quilting the Poems, Crafting the Halloween Night

First Impression: I was curious where you were going with this since I knew Halloween night is not celebrated in India. It's true, it is unusual custom here in the states but as you mentioned it also leads us into nanowrimo on November 1st. That day gets every novel writer inspired to tackle a writing journey.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the author chose a two stanza poem acknowledging Halloween but reminding the reader that it's merely the night before a more difficult challenge.

What part I liked best: The author hinting at the horrors she'll create in her characters lives when the clock strikes midnight. Her hero is forewarned, she has thrown down her challenge to write in nanowrimo come midnight.

Overall impression: Crafting the Halloween night getting ready for the challenge ahead reminded the reader that she needs to give this awesome challenge a try and widen her horizons.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? This collection of different poems was enjoyable to explore, I'm going to read a couple more before I leave. I chose this one because I was curious. I'm glad I did, nicely done.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Muse  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Lani

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Muse

First Impression: Congrats on publishing your poem! This definitely pegged our muses, they can be quite stubborn.

What needs your attention: Nothing this poem is in free verse and with that leeway the author has woven a delightful tale about her muse.

What part I liked best: I would be lying if I didn't say the ending. That is exactly how I see my muse most days. I am always battling her when it comes to the right word choices especially when I should be sleeping and she is determined that my mind is going to spiral like a tornado until I give into her demands yet in the light of day, she snoozes away.

Overall impression: This reader agrees with the author that love inspires and hate should be buried while the machine and its need for perfect spelling, noble phrasing, honest truth find a cooperative muse.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? We miss you blogging, hope your muse becomes cooperative again so we get to read more of your work.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Unfriendly Friend  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Lani

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Unfriendly Friend

First Impression: Who would have guessed a youngsta like you and I would have a shared unfriendly friendship with Mr. Daniels. He can be quite abrasive at times and soothing as all hell another.

What needs your attention: This poetry form I am very familiar with an enjoy writing myself. You have followed the criteria required for the cinquian. The poem flows smoothly with the word choices chosen by the author.

What part I liked best: I chuckled when I saw it was about a form of whiskey. All the details offered were right on. Yes it is a pretty amber color over ice and does have a bitter taste. It can feel soothing emotionally and does warm your throat when drank. Although, I haven't felt killed by it I do know it has led to some motor vehicle fatalities. Our liver on the other hand screams in protest if we over indulge. Yup, Mr. Daniels is a mixed blessing. He and I shared time last night as a matter of fact.

Overall impression: This was an amusing surprise and I relate way too much with the word choices by the author.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Salute!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Ocean  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Joy,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Ocean

First Impression: We share this in common, whenever I am over stressed, the place I go to is the ocean to replenish my soul. I love the salty air, the waves breaking on the sand and the warm moistness around my toes as they sink in the sand. I could see every detail in my mind's eye, on this busy day.

What needs your attention: Not a thing, the free verse works very well here. The pictures delighted me.

What part I liked best: I love the whole poem, my favorite lines are in thunderous lullaby because the waves breaking to me are indeed a lullaby to this soul. I enjoy the seagulls and I am guilty of feeding them, I don't mind them surrounding me at all. There are always fascinating cloud patterns over the ocean, I am guilty of taking way too many pictures when I am the ocean.

Overall impression: Our seas are never calm, nor do I want them to be although I wouldn't mind a few less huge wave breaking. It seems like they have to come all at once sometimes.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you for taking me away briefly. I need to get dressed so I am off to work for a while. Although, with all the young strapping Navy boys I feel in the way. They sure enjoyed my chili last night that I threw together for them while they pulled all the burned debris out.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Big Brother  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Davy Kraken

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Big Brother

First Impression: I was surprised to see a poetic rendition of George Orwell's book 1984. This is a very loose interpretation of the story. Although this could easily discuss Trump's policy on wanting to rule our country with fear. He's planted a lot of seeds.

What needs your attention: The end rhyme pattern works here and feels natural when read out loud. There was nothing to distract the reader.

What part I liked best: I chuckled when I read Big Brother's eyes missed none. In my humble opinion, I feel Big Brother has extremely selective vision. Our country has gone from something to be cherished to a world wide joke with media seeking antics that are happening and have happened in the past. Finger pointing, twisting the truth and blatant ignorance has become the norm for politics.
O'Brien or Trump appear to sympathize... will the American people fall for the guise.

Overall impression: This was interesting read and the reader sensed the author's sense of humor when reading the poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Politics never change, we just keep repeating history over and over like a broken record.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 


Hi Davy Kraken,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: As I Wander'd Lone through Nature

First Impression: I love Walt Whitman's work and I recognized the style. This was beautifully done with images that the reader knows very well.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the free verse works very well in this incidence, it gives the author a lot of leeway to explore his craft.

What part I liked best: The raw power of the Mississippi, that is indeed a fierce river in the spring after a spring thaw. I have seashells in my living room from the Atlantic and Pacific coastline, they drew me in, too!
New England Maples are fragile looking but with stand a lot with the howling winds of the Northeast. I wish I could see if there is a difference between a Minnesota snowflake and a Maine snowflake, you never know anything is possible.

Overall impression: This reader enjoyed the imagery and the flow of this tribute of Whitman's work. Excellent job! Enjoying all of the gorgeous things in nature whether alone or with someone makes for the perfect way to spend any day.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Happy trails until we meet again!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Daisy Field Love  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
{image:2040197-50%) "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Knenzie,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Daisy Field Love

First Impression: I smiled as I read because it reminded me of Vic and my beginnings. He and I became friends in a writing group on Yahoo. I used to race to the computer to see if there were emails, and then the phone calls and then finally the first meeting. This poem was like you watched our lives unfold.

What needs your attention: I am curious as to the title, I expected more than the one line tying them together. Maybe a comment about a shared love of daisies earlier in the poem. Just food for thought. The free verse with out a rhyme theme works well here.

What part I liked best: I asked for forever love, and God gave me you. Amen! Love is the greatest gift of all in our lives and you shared a wonderful moment and how God's plan unfolded.

Overall impression: I connected with the poem because one I love feel good poems with happy endings, guilty as charged. Two because it was like the author wrote my love story with my husband, that was interesting to see and feel again.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? You're writing rocks!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kenzie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Poetry Refreshes the World

First Impression: This was an engaging fun read. The author discussed some very good points about the value of poetry in our society. I love reading and writing poetry so this really struck home for me.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the grammar and punctuation are in order. The discussion flows in an organized manner without any meandering. I'm guilty of that!

What part I liked best: Valerie Worth’s idea was this, "Never let the mud puddle get lost in the poetry - because in many ways the mud puddle is the poetry." I chuckled at this gem, so true. Poetry should be raw and messy, encouraging the reader to think outside their normal confined space. A poem is like a picture created in the reader's mind, it should inspire. Poems give authors a way to express their feelings with a reader and the return the reader is taking a journey with them learning and growing from the imparted wisdom. It's a win situation for both.


Overall impression: It saddens me that so many of the young dread poetry. It saddens me that they close themselves to the possibilites.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you for compiling all the great quotes and your thoughts about poetry's value.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of NOT ABOUT YOU  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Sorrez

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Not About You

First Impression: The description covers the poem accurately, The reader felt all of those feelings when reading this sad poem.

What needs your attention: This free flow poem would work better if the author did not begin each line with a capital and allowed the lines to flow freely to the next. Just because it's a new line does not mean it begins with a capital in poetry. It is odd that you have chose one punctuation mark at end of poem and not in any other place.

What part I liked best: This is about all who'd rather dream stanza because it gave a brief glimmer of possibility before it was shot down with the reality of rejection. The author chose a very sad glimpse of wronged loves and the reader fell drawn in to the sadness as well.

Overall impression: The poem has potential and I believe with some tweaks this could become a five star poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Writing takes practice especially poetry, it's all about the tweaks until it feels right.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of DAYS OF OUR LIVES  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Sorrez

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Days of Our Lives

First Impression: The title made me think of a soap opera that used to be on everyday and I wondered if you were going to do a take on that.

What needs your attention: But has been overused in so many writing pieces, I recommend changing it changing it to Although it will give you the same feeling and flow the same. The poem flows smoothly except for the but, which takes the reader right out of the poem.

What part I liked best: Days to remember, regret and relive are something every reader can connect with the author's thought process in the poem. Memories do have a way of catching us all off guard, sometimes with sadness and tears and other times with laughter and tears too!

Overall impression: The author reminded the reader that life comes with good and bad memories and feelings, how we had handle them is the most important part and to remember that one point they were our present not just the past.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Keep on Writing. I hope you return to writing on a regular basis it is sad to see so many pieces dated 4 years ago.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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347
Review of Stop the Parade  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Wren

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Stop the Parade

First Impression: I agree with the author gossip is unnecessary and very hurtful. It does not reflect well on the person gossiped about or the person gossiping, its a no win situation.

What needs your attention: A story unfolded in couplets with out a rhyme or specific meter in this poetic offering. It flowed smoothly when read out loud by the reader.

What part I liked best: The fourth stanza jumped right out at this reader, I'm one of those outspoken people who do stop them. I've prided myself in not participating in gossip since I was a teen. The lesson was very painful and I've never forgotten how it made me feel. "If you can't say something nice, then say nothing at all"

Overall impression: The author gave the reader an gentle reminder how destructive gossip can be and why we should never underestimate another's worth by speech or action. Reminders are always warranted to keep all of us on the same course... treat others as you want to be treated.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you for sharing your work!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
348
348
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Wren,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Ten-Finger Exercises

First Impression: It saddens me to see such an engaging blog abandoned, I do hope you return to writing in it. Your entries vary between poems and things happening that day in your world. I enjoyed the personal glimpses/

What needs your attention: A writer, to write. The blog's last entry was November 2014. The writer uses good punctuation and grammar skills, there was nothing that distracted the reader from her enjoyment.

What part I liked best: The tree outside your window poem was vivid and filled with emotions about the foliage disappearing. The world does take on a bleak appearance once the leaves fall. The poem about obscurity was engaging and reminded the reader of the small tasks in life make a difference like canning applesauce for the winter. Those mundane moments are the best memories ever.

Overall impression: The author does very well with poetry and with her blog entries. Both are very engaging and fun to read. I hope this finds the author well.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Please ask the writer to write, her blog is very well written and begs to have more entries.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
349
349
Review of War Drum  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kerri,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: War Drum

First Impression: Your image caught my attention and I decided I would find out the connection. Wow, you conveyed a lot in just one hundred words.

What needs your attention: Injah felt her breathing flow out of her lungs. I think it would sound better if you said: Injah felt her breathe flow out of her lungs. As in take air into the lungs and then expel it.

I recommend a change here to make it sound more intimidating for the scene you are setting with instead of the sound of a foreign language entered her ears. As she listened, the sound of a foreign language struck her ears. Struck continues with the war scene theme.

What part I liked best: Ever since she was conscripted, the sound echoed through every day of her life suggested to me that Injah lived in a violent place and that her role was to protect the others. She made the fateful call.

Overall impression: In one hundred words you accomplished a good hook and brief synopsis of a story that left the reader wanting more.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write on Kerri, story telling is your forte!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
350
350
Review of Writing For G.O.T  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Joy,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Writing for G.o.T.

First Impression: I wish I had more time to read every entry but right now I focused on the enigma prompt and the folklore prompt. Ironing out that was thought provoking piece of work about a trivial task that so many of us older generations still do. Skinny sally caught my eye with the muted gardens, I'm predictable.

What needs your attention: Nothing, that I noted. Your writing is always very precise and doesn't meander off topic. I wish mine was as good.

What part I liked best: I chuckled at the nagging hag scolding Sally about her neglected garden. I would too, if you have a garden than you have a responsibility to care for it just like a family member.
Ironing is when I do my best mulling and working through things that upset me. You can tell some times with how deeply I've pushed the iron onto to the cloth. *FacePalm*

Overall impression: I always enjoy my visits to your port. The topics vary immensely and each are well written fun to read. And the ones on more serious topics are always enlightening.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you for all you do, you're an amazing team mate!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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