I admire how much you know
and understand yourself.
And, I love that you can
articulate are
able to explain your fears and
what is underneath the way you
behave sometimes. I believe a
writer who have an intimate
relationship with himself has
a much better shot at
becoming a much better writer down the
road. Good luck to you. I hope
you keep on writing. Gabriella
I love this; as I read it I
was thinking about my
morning shower. It's exactly what you
describe. You found just the right
words to express how
nurturing and warming it is.
A wonderful poem, one that everyone
can relate to. One tiny misspelling
you'll decide if you want to
fix: arms wraped should be
arms WRAPPED. Thanks again
for sharing your poem. I enjoyed
reading it and hope you're going
to write more :) All the best,
Gabriealla
This is sweet and delightful.
It's a matter of taste I'm sure,
but I'd prefer to see your
poem in one color. Still, it's
got charm and the message is a good one.
Good luck with this. Thanks
for sharing your work,
Gabriella
This poem has real potential.
If you don't mind cleaning up
some of the misspellings, you'd
have a good start.
This is your poem so you'll decide
if you want to touch it.
If you value input, here are a couple
of small suggestions:
Storys should be stories
Most lifes should read Most lives
forever crys should be forever cries
The sentence that starts with the
words But I know this will all my
spirit must be missing a word.
What is that sentence trying to convey ?
Those are my suggestions for what
it's worth. I hope this is helpful.
I like the feeling you're trying
to convey and the effort you put into
writing it.
Gabriella
A beautiful poem and such a loving
tribute to this special person in your life.
This is an extraordinary gift. You gave so much of
yourself to create such a lovely
tender poem. I hope you'll frame
this for your special person.
It's a gorgeous present with a long
life :) Thanks for sharing it.
Warmest best, Gabriella
I like this so much !
I'm a mom; I love the way you
describe your love to your
son who has just been born.
What a lovely legacy.
Every mom would love to have
something like this to leave
behind for his or her child
to treasure. Thanks for sharing
this sweet poem. Gabriella
I'm stunned by the simple beauty of this story. You communicated it so well. I hope the telling of it
gives you strength and joy. You son would be so proud
of you. My thoughts are with you, I hope you keep on
writing. Warmest best, Gabriella
It's a lovely notion, expressed with sincerity
that is admirable. I like your belief in a
compassionate loving God. Bless you for your
convictions. Write more.
Gabriella
Your message is very important;
I hope you will write more about
discrimination. It's clear you've
been deeply affected.
You communicate clearly and with
a strong voice. Bravo !
Thank you for sharing this poem
with us,
Gabriella
A loving generous poem.
I love that your prayer
is for the man you love.
A beautiful sentiment,
nicely communicated. It
is a delight to read.
Thanks for sharing it.
Gabriella
Beautiful and poignant.
Thanks for sharing this
wonderful poem. I loved
reading it and appreciate
the effort that went in
to writing it. Bravo !
Gabriella
Marc, this is a wonderful poem.
It's so well written and nicely
structured. The poem's message
is one we can all relate to.
You've got a real talent for
making your work accessible
without sacrificing its
intelligence. Bravo, Marc !
All the best, Gabriella
Absolutely wonderful !!
I love your poem, its rhythm,
pace, your choice of words
and the twinkle in your
eye that is transmitted to your
work. This is a delightful
poem. Good luck with it and
the newbie contest. You're a winner.
All the best, Gabriella
Your poem reminds us how much
we all take love for granted
in one way or another. Thank
you for sharing your poem.
Keep on writing ! All the best,
Gabriella
Dying is a mystery to be sure.
Your poem is reassuring and
sweet. It's nicely written and
structured well too !
Bravo, Mastroda. I hope you
are enjoying Writing.com as
much as I am. Good luck with
your writing.
Gabriella
Sarah, a poignant story and a strong message. The poem is both compelling and wrenching. You describe these two
critical experiences, one on top of the other, so well.
You've done such a good job with this. I hope you keep
on writing. Best wishes to you, Gabriella
It's wonderful, thanks for sharing it.
What you propose if your love is not
returned is positively
Shakesperian. Very dramatic.
I like this. Hope you enjoy writing
as much as you appear to.
All the best, Gabriella
A lovely way to memorialize
the passing of time,
the ravages of age, and our changing
lives. Thanks for sharing your
good work. I loved reading your
poem. Good luck with it.
Warmest best, Gabriella
A beautiful wrenching message.
One that is easy to relate to.
You did a gorgeous job of stating
your loss simply and so well.
I hope you're doing ok. The poem
draws us readers in, one cannot
help hoping you're faring well
through all of this.
Thank you for sharing your poem.
I read it in the poetry newsletter.
What a treat it must be to have your
poem chosen. Congratulations !
All the best, Gabriella
A wonderful poem.
It is interesting and very well written,
a real treat to read.
I particularly like
"Of future that is present
And present that can bend
To these many nights of wishes
From this ordinary man"
Thanks for sharing it.
Gabriella
I like the poem, particularly
"that allows my unsound feet to leave
an imprint on the cold dense concrete"
You have ability. I hope you'll keep on writing.
There are a couple of words that can
be spelled correctly that would help readers
stay focused on your work.
Here are the words:
fiebel=feeble
sain=sane
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