A good first entry written by a writer
who shows real potential. I hope you'll
contribute lots more to the forum.
A warm welcome and best wishes,
Gabriella
A noble message.
Do you think your poem would read
better if it were in uppper and lower
case ? Its a short poem but I think
it would be equally effective
written without capital letters.
"TRUELY" should be changed to truly.
"THIER" should be changed to their
Thanks for sharing your poem,
I enjoyed reading it.
All the best, Gabriella
Great advice, but you know of course,
a teenager looking to move through
those early teenage years especially,
they need to rebel and react. It's part
of pushing away from the safety of
home and parents to make a responsible
world of their own. Usually, they do
pretty well.
A good poem with a very thoughtful message.
Thank you for your input. Gabriella
All you can do is enjoy being you.
The person on the
receiving end of your kindness might not
be able to fully appreciate what you do or
understand the
full value of your unselfish acts.
In the end, you
will be rewarded in the way you feel
about yourself. I hope you're happy
and fulfilled. It seems like you have long
been a generous booster and donor with
and for your friends. It's
a privilege to know you.
All the best, Gabriella
It's a chilling story. Bless you for writing it all down.
I hope you'll share the rest of what happened.
It's a story those of us who weren't there would
like to share. I hope you're doin ok now.
My heart goes out to you.
Warmest best,
Gabriella
A wrenching plea and a
lovely one at that !
It's a nicely written poem
and one that sails
along pretty smoothly.
I know you must have
enjoyed writing it.
Thanks so much for sharing your
work. Keep on writing !
Warmest best, Gabriella
A lovely poem--a strong
tribute to this romance.
I was a little confused
that your title I "Her Love for Him"
like you're writing it about someone else.
However, your poem
seems to be directed to the
man you love. It's filled with
references to how much he and
the relationship mean to you. Although
there are a few moments in
the poem that you revert back
to the use of "her" like
you're talking about someone
else again. This needs to
be straightened out so your
reviewers can thoroughly enjoy
what seems like a strong
beautiful poem written as a direct tribute to
the one you love.
Warmest best, Gabriella
I like your poem.
It's easy to see how much you
like wolves and what they
stand for. Your
logo under the poem
is a lovely image
of a grey wolf.
Good luck with your poem
and your writing.
Warmest best, Gabriella
A sweet poem-- a loving tribute to your
dear mother. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
This is certainly a theme all of
us can relate to.
I hope you are enjoying Writing.com
as much as I am. Keep on
writing ! Warmest best,
Gabriella
A sad but compelling piece that
delves into the reasons for your
torn feelings. I hope your sister
has her life back. It's very
tough when such a valued
family member chooses a destructive
path. Best of luck to you,
Gabriella
I like your theme but
I'm not clear what
happened to her.
She's crying because
she was used, by whom ? She
got her blood, how ?
It's an interesting poem
with potential.
Warmest best, G.
A lovely poem with its own
unique style and message.
I enjoyed reading it and
was touched by it.
Thank you for sharing it.
I hope you keep on writing.
Warmest best, Gabriella
A lovely poem that expresses
your love and sadness at its
loss. Some suggestions:
Check your spelling--reminisce
is the spelling you're looking
for in the first stanza.
Expand my feelings and let THEM
grow (instead of it) since feelings
are plural.
In the third stanza, don't use
OR at the beginning of your second
sentence. You say is it the way she
looks at me as well so using OR is
confusing. Try this:
Is it the way she looks at me ?
The way she talks as well ?
Just a few suggestions.
Thank you for sharing your poem.
It's a well constructed
poem. Good luck with it !
All the best, Gabriella
I like your poem and share
your love of reading--and
the wonderful feeling of being immersed
and then, surfacing.
I appreciate your work and
your ability. I hope you
keep on writing. Gabriella
Lsuren--I love your poem.
It's intelligent and soul searching.
It is well constructed
and nicely written. I feel
your struggle. I'm guessing
that many women feel to a
greater or lesser degree some
of what you've expressed.
We all spend lots of time
enabling our families and
serving the greater good in
our jobs. It's a huge adjustment
to suddenly be thinking about
ourselves. So much of your poem
speaks to my experience too.
I'm writing, going back to school,
and hiking a lot. And, I have
grandchildren to fuss over when
I need to do my mom thing again :)
Thank you for sharing your
wonderful poem. I hope you
keep on writing. Gabriella
I liked reading your definition of happiness.
I suggest there are many definitions. For someone with a chronic illness, happiness is a day without pain;
for college senior, happiness is finding
a job, for some mothers, happiness is a day
when things go smoothly, for our soldiers in
Iraq, happiness could be rescuing an Iraqi family
caught in the crossfire, building a bridge, and receiving mail from home, For many, happiness is the simple act of giving. I enjoyed reading your ideas. It's great to be reminded to stop and think
about this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
All the best, Gabriella
A lovely poem, a sweet theme;
an important message for us all !
Thank you for sharing your poem.
Take a quick look at where you put your
commas, semi-colons and periods.
Though in general, you have done
a good job with pumctuation, it's
good to be consistent.
G.
A lovely sentiment and an important
message--I hope you'll keep on writing.
I have a feeling you have lots to
say. The only thing I might suggest
here is that you consider looking at your
format. Perhaps you could restructure the poem
a bit to make it more compact and flow a little better.
You'll decide whether
this idea makes sense. Good luck with it.
All the best, Gabriella
Beautiful, Suzan ! I've read something of yours before and remember liking that too. Nothing I can suggest to change this. It's haunting and lovely. You write well.
Best of luck with your work. Thanks for sharing it.
Gabriella
A compelling poem. It's one we can all
relate to. It's nicely constructed
and it tells your story simply and well.
Good luck with it and with your
writing. All the best,
Gabriella
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