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76
76
Review of Miniscule  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)


To: SkyFall
Re: Miniscule

A warm welcome to you, SkyFall. I hope you're enjoying your first
few weeks here on Writing.Com.

Riding around in a sub beneath the water sounds exciting, SkyFall !
Your descriptions of the sights you see outside the front windows of the sub are excellent.

I have to admit, after reading your story twice, I couldn't figure out if the eel was killed or something happened to the sub ? I hope you'll continue on to build on this story. It has real potential.

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella

.
77
77
Review of Christmas Tree  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Chris Breva
Re: Christmas Tree

This story is an exceptional one !
I decided to share it rather than critique it.
After all, we're celebrating the Christmas
season with this wonderful story.
I won't give away the story's ending.

This is a touching story in the old Christmas tradition,
celebrating the spirit of the season.
It centers around a very special
Christmas tree yearning to be purchased as the
few days before Christmas come and go without a sale.

Your story is masterfully written.
And, you capture the spirit of Christmas beautifully.
It's not surprising, this story has been nominated for a Quill Award.
(Pssst:I love the ending !!)

Thanks for sharing your Christmas Story with us.

All the best,

Gabriella
78
78
Review of Annie Potts  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Jacky
Re: Annie Potts

This is a wonderful, entertaining story, Jacky.
Annie's venture into the bushes to clip some
of her grumpy neighbor's lilacs makes for a good story.
She's been stealing her neighbor's lilacs for years.
Her furtive gains were her pride and joy. This lily bush
produced the most beautiful, pungent flowers.

Alas, this year, Annie found the lilac bushes had grown
so tall, she'd need a ladder to reach them.
Unfortunately, a heavy rainfall made it impossible for
her to stand on the rocky ladder sitting on muddy
turf. This meant Annie would have to give up this
year's carefully plotted thievery.

Not so fast. All was not lost.

The neighbor with the lilac bushes
surprised Annie with the delivery of a
large vase of lilacs to Annie's front door
with a note to let her know
he's been enjoying "the show" every year
and felt compelled to give her the
flowers she couldn't reach on her own.

Bravo, Jacky !! You are a fine story teller !
I look forward to reading more.

Gabriella

79
79
Review of Lost and Found  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


To: Jacky
Re: Turtle

Your story:

This is a delightful story, Jacky ! Your turtle is a determined fellow.
I can't imagine a flying turtle.
How fortunate that he noticed the stone wall.
He managed to climb up the rocks with relative ease.

I particularly enjoyed:

"Finally, he got on top of the wall! As he sat there, exhausted, he looked out over the woods. He could see home, he could see everything! He felt good, and all thoughts of flying had completely disappeared. Turtle had just found rock climbing!"

Thanks for sharing your delightful tale, Jacky.

All the best,

Gabriella

.

80
80
Review of Noticing Newbies  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

A warm welcome to W.Com !
If you haven't learned about this,
check out
GROUP
The Newbies Academy Group  (E)
Need assistance and guidance. Stop on by!
#1949660 by ~ Sisco ~ Back!

Enjoy and be sure to contact one
of us if you need a little help.
Warmest best,
Gabriella
81
81
Review of The Search  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


To: Ska Rhodes
Re: Search

Welcome:

A warm welcome to you Ska Rhodes ! I hope you're enjoying this enriching writer's forum ! If you are looking for a group to help you navigate and learn, take a few minutes to check out this program.

GROUP
The Newbies Academy Group  (E)
Need assistance and guidance. Stop on by!
#1949660 by ~ Sisco ~ Back!


Having found this piece on Writing.Com's "Review a Newbie," I'm
getting ready to don my space suit to share your journey.

Before I dive in to your story, I have a suggestion for you, one I think you might want to consider. This glorious piece has been written with almost no paragraph breaks. I found myself getting bleary-eyed trying to read this large block of words. I suggest you go through this piece to break it down so the paragraphs are smaller and separated from the one another. This is a wonderful opportunity to draw attention to your writing.

Re your story: the dialogue is helpful. We learn that this 16-year-old
is making his way around a new planet, one that was only able to accommodate a small portion of earth's inhabitants. We don't know what happened to the rest of earth's population. I hope you are planning to write the next chapter to this story. This is a good beginning. Exploring a new planet has lots of potential. I look forward to reading more. Until then, I love the "The Charleston Chatters."

All the best,

Gabriella


82
82
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Jeff
Re: Brooke

I found this tribute to Brooke in W.Com's "Read and Review." While this was written 7 years ago, I'm sure you'd say Brooke is the same person today as the wonderful, mult-talented woman you described many years ago.

I admire Brooke, and agree W.Com wouldn't be the same without her. She works hard to produce glorious challenges. Speaking for myself, I look at her writing a fair amount as a source of inspiration. You're right, she can write about anything, and, she never comes up short.

Thanks for this lovely piece, Jeff. I hope it remains in "Read and Review" for others to enjoy over time.

All the best,

Gab

.

83
83
Review of My First Love  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)

To: Bella Taylor

Re: My First Love

I admire this heroic effort you've made
to recount your experience with your
first "love" with all of his flaws and the many
ways he hurt you without hesitation.
This is a noble effort, Bella. It will help
young women who look for relationships
and don't know what to expect or how to select a
decent young guy. You were brave
once you realized how bad the
relationship really was. First, this man
was dismissive, and unkind. Then,
he discovered how much more
effective he could be if he knocked
you around. Finally, he planted blows
on your face to mark his turf.

I suspect it was he that was
sure no one else would want him.
He couldn't bear to let you know he
was afraid of losing you. So, he'd
flex his muscles to tell you he's the
boss. You did a good job, coming to
terms with your situation. Whether
this is your story or not, it is an
excellent depiction of an abusive
relationship, one you were wise to
leave. I hope you find someone
wonderful who will show you how
it is to have a mutually respectful,
loving relationship.

All the best,

Gabriella

.

/


84
84
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Winnie
Re: A Father's Love

This poem is beautiful, heart wrenching, and moving.
I found your note beneath the poem explaining your tribute.
While the poem doesn't reveal how this young woman died,
your note answers the question that every reader is
left with. I am stunned and saddened for you and
your brother. I hope they found the individual who
took her life.

Finally, and equally important, what a wonderful
transition you made from banker to writer. *Smile*
While I chose this poem to read and review, I
read more of your work, and am happy to relay
what a treat it has been to visit your portfolio.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful work with us,

Gabriella

~~Image #1419084 Sharing Restricted~~

.
85
85
Review of Is That Love?  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


To: Writing Walter
Re: Is That Love

I found this poem on W.Com's "Read and Review."

While I stopped to read this poem, I must admit,
I couldn't stop until I read your other poems
about love. I notice that you stopped writing in 2015.
I hope this doesn't mean you've given up on love.
As for this poem, I believe love is what works
for the people involved. I worry a bit that you
put your own needs aside for the love of your life.
Sometimes it's good for the other half to be in
the spotlight. At the same time, it's important that
the relationship isn't built around sacrificing at
your expense. I'm not sure that is a good way to
build a healthy relationship. Ok, so I said to each
his own. What works for you and your partner is
what is best.

Thank you for sharing your thought-provoking poem.
You tell us about yourself in the poems you write about
your romance. Your love for this woman is beautiful,
unpretentious, and unguarded.

All the best,

Gabriella
..
86
86
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: SirTwinkletoes
Re: Unlikely Guardians

I found your story in W.Com's "Read and Review."
"Set in medieval Europe, a very short story of one attentive doctor."
This is a remarkable story, Sir Twinkle.
Is this fiction? I hope not. Oh, that it would be possible
to curtail a terrible plague by rounding up cats to chase the
plague-carrying rats. You write well and you did a fine job
relaying or creating a great story.

No room or need for changes.

Congratulations and all the best, Sir !

Gabriella


87
87
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


To: Deb Mach
Re: Cinquain

I found this piece in W.Com's "Read & Review."
This is a fascinating poem, Deb.
Beginning with:

callous
thick and crusted
skin or heart: each toughened
gradual, unseen, unyielding
hardness

And, continuing on with a long list
of soothing words, including;

whisper
raindrop
breeze
birdsong
mellow
music
melody
home
comfort

I hope the course was rewarding. It
certainly appears to be fun
and challenging. Nice work, Deb.

Gabriella

..

88
88
Review of The Circus Act  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Chris:

The "Circus Act" is delightful ! I love your sense of humor and
the fine job you did assuming the role of dog, cat, and rooster.
The dialogue is perfect, and the tree added greatly to the
success of this piece. NIce going, Chris. You started my day off with
a chuckle.

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella


For my use

.
89
89
Review of Friendships Rest  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To Jay:

I found your tribute to friendships in "Random Reviews."
I love it and can't imagine responding with anything but
a simple thank you for your wisdom
and your reminder to count our blessings that we
have special friends like you, dear Jay !

Jay's Message for us:

"Friendships rest on
a common trust
and onward path."

Bravo and warmest best,

Gabriella
90
90
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


SandraLynn:

I love your poem and your sense of humor !
Oh boy, do I recall the beginning of the
summer when I'd wear long shirts to cover my bathingsuit,
pale skin, and winterized body.

Thank Heaven for the friends I walked with
during the summer months. The walks grew
longer over time, and all of us could see
and feel what a difference it made to get up
and out at the close of the cold weather.

Your poem is not only fun to read, it serves
as a great reminder for us right now.
Thanks so much, SandraLynn !

All the best,

Gabriella

/
91
91
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Greetings, Neva !

*BareTree2* This is a stunning poem. I read and reread it.
Each time I found another line to admire. I particularly like:

*BareTree2* "I inhale the musky aroma of Centuries of
fallen leaves blanketing the ground between elm, oak, and
willow trees."

*BareTree2* "The crisp autumn air reverberates with
The calls of mocking birds, crows, and sparrows."

*BareTree2* You and your muse paint such beautiful pictures
with the help of your bubbling imagination. I admire
your ability to fold these lovely descriptions
together as though this was meant to be their destiny.

*BareTree2* Thanks for sharing your beautiful poem with us,


Gabriella


"
92
92
Review of Car Crash  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Welcome to Writing.Com, Lucy !

*DragonflyP* I hope you're enjoying your new portfolio
and you have had a chance to meet
a few good people in this warm,
welcoming writer's forum.

*DragonflyP* This evening, I sat down to read "Car Crash"
with its staggering, heart-stopping conclusion.
It certainly is a serious reminder for
all of the folks who still use their cell phones
while driving or crossing the street where
there is traffic.

*DragonflyP* I must say, you did a brilliant job, arranging
the story so the characters were bound to
arrive at the dreaded intersection at the
same time with cell phones flying. I wish
I could say "Nice Work" Lucy. What I can
say is thanks for sending your message
out there to all of the folks who ignore the
law or simply leave the curb to cross
the street at a busy intersection with a phone
in your ear so you don't hear that car that
seemed to come out of nowhere to beat the
light before it turned green.

*DragonflyP* Thanks so much, Lucy !

Gabriella


93
93
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Abby:

I read this wonderful story about the 5-year drought.
We are blessed to live where there are lakes, rivers,
and rippling streams. And, while we have had a lesser
version of a drought, I don't recall having one that
compares to the one you describe. Your story is heart
rending. I can imagine all of the damage that is
caused by a drought of this magnitude. The sudden
arrival of rain is huge and unexpected, bringing on
lots of celebrating and excitement. You remind us how lucky
we are, and how important it is to never take the
good times for granted.

Bravo for having shared this wonderful piece with us.
I look forward to reading more of your work, Abby.

All the best,
.
Gabriella

.
94
94
Review of The Lakefront  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Margarete--not allowed to call herself an "Apologizing Adolescent"

Your Poem and the Lakefront

It is clear from the outset, you are observant, Margarete.
You know how to create a beautifully written poem
using what you observe. The last three stanzas are
very special. It is as though the first three
stanzas were setting the stage for the last three. Bravo,
Margarete !

This is one of my favorite stanzas:

"I look back at the lake water. It is off-putting in the bright sunlight,
but not at this moment in the day.
This is the moment when colors melt together in the sky
And the sun lays a golden light on everything as far as the eye can see.
The moment when this water is so beautiful and alluring to the eyes."

I look forward to returning to read more of your work, Margaret *Smile*

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella


.
95
95
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aundria,

This is a wonderful poem, beautifully stated and effective.
I read it twice, and liked it better the more I thought
about each line. It shows us in so many ways we mostly
don't think about, how really and truly everything
of any consequence in life is interconnected
like tears and rain, and death of dreams and dreams
of tomorrow.

I look forward to returning to read more of your work,
Aundria.

All the best,

Gabriella
96
96
Review of Symbiosis  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Your Narrative Poem

I appreciate the effort
you put in to making
this free form poem.

Do you think you could
arrange the stanzas
to appear more uniform ?
You'll want each stanza
to become a reflection of
the one before and after.

The line that begins with
"She saw her own frame" is
out of sync with the other lines.
The use of starred
to describe her eyes is an
awkward choice of
words. Do you mean starry
eyes ?

Contrived means created in a way
that seems artificial. Your use of
"contrived" is an odd choice of words.
Think in terms of stringing
words together in a way that
speaks to you and expresses
an obvious thought.

This was a brave effort to
construct an interesting poems.
The key is to write lines that
express a clear message.

Thank you and all the best,

Gabriella

97
97
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)


Dear Mabel from Paris
(near Montmartre France)

A warm welcome to Writing.Com !
We are pleased to have you here with us.
I hope you are making your way around
this busy writing metropolis comfortably.
If you think it would help to join a group
of new writers on Writing.Com, here is
a link to:

GROUP
The Newbies Academy Group  (E)
Need assistance and guidance. Stop on by!
#1949660 by ~ Sisco ~ Back!


As for "Lovin Yourself for What You Have"
I love this piece, Mabel. And, I know
many other writers here will too. Your message
comes through, loud and clear.

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella



98
98
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)


Amanda:

This essay is magnificent ! I can see you did a great deal of research to collect the data you needed to write this beautifully articulate treatise on growing old in China. My husband's family came from Greece to America in the 1950s. In their country, it is also up to the family of elderly parents to begin to plan and build an addition onto the home of one of their children by the time their parents turn 55 so as to move them in by the time they turn 60. Having said this, I must point out that my mother-in-law shared this with me over a decade ago. I often wonder what is happening to these noble traditions.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece, Amanda.

All the best,

Gabriella

99
99
Review of He's Gone  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)


This is a good poem *Thumbsup*
I found the 4th stanza doesn't seem as
strong as the others.

"Suchlike the way he smiles at She:"
An awkward sentence

Suchlike is a legitimate word but it feels
a bit rigid for this occasion.
"The way he smiles at She...."
Looks like "She" got popped in quickly
so you'd have a rhyme.
Not the best match for a poem

Words/phrases that rhyme with Me: *Smile*
1) Used to be
2) Barking up the wrong tree
3) Closed book, no more "We"

Otherwise, this poem is good !

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella from Vermont

100
100
Review of Mom's Bike  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


*Vignette6* A belated welcome to Writing.Com, Anne !

We are delighted to have you here with us. I hope you're making your way around this large, bustling writer's forum comfortably.

*Vignette6* I found your name and these glorious recollections of your early years spent with your family in Germany on the Reviewing Newbies pages. I am especially pleased that I was able to read a couple of your very special memoirs. I especially enjoyed "Mom's Bike."

*Vignette6* The flow of your stories is a huge asset. You choose your words well such that each sentence and paragraph is smooth as silk, articulate, and a treat to read. You are a talented writer, Anne. I found both of the pieces I read, charming and nostalgic. I was disappointed to
come to the end of each of these very special stories.

*Vignette6* I hope you will continue on to write more, Anne. I look forward to following your progress.

Bravo and warmest best,

Gabriella



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