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201
201
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

The Story of When War Ended:

A Tolkien Story:

When I read the title of this story, I wondered if this is Tolkien's Arlen and Aragon. After his father was killed battling orcs, Aragorn was sent to live in Rivendell with his mother, Gilraen. Around his twentieth year, as he walked in the woods singing a part of the Lay of Lúthien, he witnessed the beauty of Arwen for the first time, clad in a mantle of silver and blue. Mistaking her for Lúthien, he called to her, and, from that moment on, loved only her. Gilraen warned Aragorn of the folly of his love for Arwen, a high-born elf such as she was. Aragorn soon left Imladris, and for thirty years fought against Sauron on whatever front which was deemed necessary.

In his forty-ninth year, after years of strife and toil, he wished, once again, to be at peace. He came into Lórien, not knowing that Arwen also was there, and stayed with her for a season. "It then that Arwen first beheld him again after their long parting; and as he came walking towards her under the trees of Caras Galadhon laden with flowers of gold, her choice was made and her doom appointed." On Cerin Amroth, in the midst of Lórien they plighted their troth looking toward the shadow of the east and the twilight of the west."

Your Story, Walknbird:

I read your story with great interest in an attempt to piece together
what I recall with the story you tell. I enjoyed every word. The story the father retells is fascinating and delightful to read, especially when the children chime in with questions. Clearly, they have heard the story many times before. Their curiosity seems to be what fuels their father's zest for telling this tale. You are a talented story teller, Walknbird. You put a great deal of effort into creating a compelling story.

I enjoyed my visit to your portfolio and look forward to returning to
read more.

All the best,

Gabriella

Power April Review Raid



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202
202
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)


How I Came to Drive the Disney Monorail

Overview

IZ: I must confess I started to read your story well after midnight, having promised a friend I would review for Power Reviewers to support this fine program this weekend. I was fighting off sleep as I sat at my computer to begin reading your story. It is down-to-earth delightful and fun to read, IZ. I read it with great pleasure, enjoying all of the asides as much as I enjoyed your adventure on the monorail. I can only imagine what would have happened to the lazy primary driver's job if Disney caught him trading places with his passengers. Still, it sounds like you had a great time. Imagine being able to tell your family you drove the monorail *Laugh* I know how my mother would react. She'd be one step short of having a stroke.

My Impressions:

What I liked almost as much as your story about driving the monorail, is the fact that you enjoy alone time and, in fact you must have some as you traverse your way through each day. I come from a family of 6. I loved any excuse I could find to escape to my room to climb up on the windowsill to read. Occasionally, a friend and I would slip out of our houses late at night when our families were sleeping, to enjoy the most peaceful part of each 24 hours. To this day, I love the night. It is tranquil and quiet. And the moon is beautiful.

Back to your story: did you keep the photo that was taken of you in the driver's seat on the mono-rail? Your photo is the only item that is missing from this wonderful, well written story *Smile* You have a lovely sense of humor, IZ. This adds a great deal to your story.

Nice work, IZ. You write well and tell a good story !

All the best,

Gabriella


Power April Review Raid



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203
203
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Down Through the Looking Glass

Overview:

I thoroughly enjoyed your poem, Carly. As you look through the Looking Glass, I am taking a ride down memory lane, recalling Alice's wonderful and whacky adventure. Alice's safety is your main concern. You remind us she is looking to escape, to avoid contact with the Red Queen and the knights and pawns who "await to make their moves--to carry out the Queen's grizzly orders." The poem ended as Alice thinks how she will climb out of the rabbit hole to return to all that is normal."

Observations:

Your poem is nicely formatted and I'm happy to point out, there are no type-os or misspellings. This is a huge plus, Carly. You've done a good job and you've given Alice's fan club here on W.Com a great treat with your poem.

Bravo and all the best, Carly,

Gabriella

Power April Review Raid

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204
204
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Back to Alica Again

Overview:

This is a wonderful poem, Victoria. You took on a mighty challenge and, you managed to create a substantial poem in the process. I admire the effort you put into contemplate what Alice's curious adventure is all about, and what it means to us while we are are young. You point out what we think about and want when we're still young, living in the safety of our secure homes, enjoying being able to think how wild and wonderful Alice's adventure was. What a great opportunity her story is for a writer like you who is able to see, with a certain amount of maturity, how life has a way of teaching us what is most important by experience.

"Maybe these journeys are needed in order to grow;
To see who and what is really important to us,
Which is most significant to know."

There are a few small fixes needed in your poem. You'll decide if these are useful suggestions: Where you say: "Her fears gave life to turmoil, I wonder if it would be better to say her fears fueled her turmoil. Also, when you write: "Her fears in the flesh chased her crazily, I'm not sure what "in the flesh" had to do with her fears.
Maybe her fears overcame her and chased her crazily. Finally, when you say: "How many times have you gave." is incorrect. I wonder if you meant: How many times have we given way to our fears...or given in to tears.

Thank you for this great treat, Victoria. I loved visiting your portfolio
and I look forward to returning to read more.

Wamest best,

Gabriella


Power April Review Raid




205
205
Review of Less Than I Was  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Re: Less Than I Was
A Poem


Dear Scarecrow: I hate to address you by this name *Smile*
especially after reading your powerful poem. It is hardly the
work of a scarecrow. In fact, it's a strong, soulful piece, the
work of a fine writer whose work has depth. While you are
hurt to the bone, your poem is never overwhelmed by the haze
of a loss of this magnitude. You describe yourself, before,
during, and after this relationship with clarity.

The words you use and the way your poem is constructed are
powerful. Each line is a perfect marriage with the one before.
The poem flows beautifully. It is riveting. I found it
captivating and a wonderful tribute to your sense of self,
your ability to communicate who you are. and how devastating
your loss has been.

I hope you'll continue on to write more poetry !

I've thoroughly enjoyed my visit to your portfolio and I look
forward to returning to read more.

All the best

Gabriella



Thank you, dear Susan, for this lovely sig !





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206
206
Review of Forgotten  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Dear Shannon,

This is a remarkable Haiku Sonnet.
I was deeply touched by it
and by your talent and sensitivity
when you write. It's a perfect
Sonnet. This is a great way to get
started here on W.Com. A warm
welcome to you. I hope you'll feel
free to get in touch if you need
help navigating this forum. There
are lots of wonderful people here
who will be encouraging and
supportive.

Warmest best,

Gabriella

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207
207
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Espero

Re: Your Book Review:

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.

While I haven't reviewed these reviews, I couldn't resist this opportunity to share how much I enjoyed reading your book review. It is well written and thorough. I'm impressed, Espero ! You covered the waterfront with your review. I was delighted to read that you enjoy Anthony Doerr's writing. This is his 4th book. I read that he hadn't written a book in four years. When this book came out, it received a half dozen of the most prestiguous book awards in 2016. Most important of all, the book received a Pulitzer Prize for fiction.

I appreciate how connected you were to this book where the two primary characters are a young blind girl and a German orphan boy who was selected to attend a brutal military academy to make use of his engineering skills. The girl's father takes his daughter to live with relatives when the German's invade Paris. He carries with him a precious blue stone that belongs to the Museum he works for to keep it from being stolen by the Germans.

I had forgotten this: "The war nears and the museum packs up it's valuables. They make three copies of the Sea of Flames stone and send them off with museum employees. No one knows who has the original one. Marie-Laure and her father leave France and find their way to a reclusive uncle where they take up refuge."

I am so pleased that you enjoyed this poignant book. I found your review absorbing and beautifully written. This is a 5-star book review. You point out Doerr's remarkable ability to develop characters. I must admit, I thought Doerr must be German. He drew us in to sit by his side while he writes about Nazi occupied France. All of Doerr's descriptions are substantial and beautifully crafted. Later, I discovered that Doerr was born and raised in Cleveland. He now resides in Boise, Idaho-- a huge leap from Europe in World War II.

I thought you'd like to know how Doerr is described by a
fellow author. "Anthony Doerr sees the world as a scientist, but feels it as a poet. He knows about everything—radios, diamonds, mollusks, birds, flowers, locks, guns—but he also writes a line so beautiful, creates an image or scene so haunting, it makes you think forever differently about the big things—love, fear, cruelty, kindness, the countless facets of the human heart." Clearly, Doerr has a great deal in common with his character, Werner.

With admiration,

Gabriella

** Image ID #1793102 Unavailable **

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208
208
Review of Lost!  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)


SilverRaven:

Overview:

This is a tragic story, one that is familiar. My daughter lost her dad this way. He was her rock. It has taken a year or more for her to begin to feel like her old self. I don't know if your story is based on a real event. If not, you reported on the goings-on with Aleeya's Mom with sensitivity and an understanding of what it meant to the daughter to watch her beloved mother pass away. You are perceptive and you told this story well, Raven.

Suggestions for you to Consider:

Instead of "laid" use lay. Correct: She lay there thinking.
Try replacing "When they finally got home" with: When they were able to go home. Note: You used "finally" twice in 2 back-to-back sentences. Remove "But" in the second sentence, third paragraph. Also in the third paragraph, try changing "stood up, went to her mother's side" to: Aleya stood at her mother's side, crying, Raven.

I see you are a new member here on W.Com. A warm
welcome to you, Raven. Let us know if you need help
as you find your way around this remarkable forum.

Warmest best.

Gabriella


209
209
Review of The Island of WDC  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Travelogue: The Island of WDC

Angel:

A Hot Air Balloon ride is amazing. Imagine climbing into an oversized picnic basket to ride high above the earth without a seat belt or a parachute ! Floating in the air without the sound of an engine is surreal and dreamlike. What a wonderful venue you've selecting to tour W.Com to discover what is here and what you haven't had a chance to explore yet.

Your visit included:

The Village of Blink
The Village of Out of the Fog
Personification
Stormy's Newsletter
Scream City
Rising Stars
The Town of Say it in Six
Tweet me a Story
Team GB PWW Coffee Shop Campfire
Flash Fiction
Writer's Cramp
Music Drabble
Bard's Tale
Lighthouse Poetry
Whispers of the Soul

How wonderful it must have been to explore much of W.Com without the sound of traffic. Your regal balloon with all of its majesty is undertaking a grand tour. We don't think of the city of W.Com as over-populated despite its population of over 1,000 members because the population ebbs and flows day to night and night to day from Australia to the United States and the castle occupied by Mistress and Master Story who live and work in Lehigh Valley, PA.

I like your ending, Angel: "Now it's time for me to return home, I ponder the colours of the patchwork quilt that has laid beneath me, on the textures that I've seen and felt, storms, fog, clouds, beautiful nature and the more inward things such as notebooks and writing. Each has their place on this beautiful island and there are still places for me to explore, it's growing too, of course, it has to, to accommodate all who live there and all the visitors. Wow, what a day it's been. Maybe I can do it again one day when I've explored just a little more of WDC."

This was fun to read, Angel. I applaud you for your preparation work. This travelogue is well written. I appreciate that you arranged for an absence of misspellings and typos. Great work, Angel. Keep on writing !!

Gabriella


** Image ID #1793102 Unavailable **



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210
210
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Rising to the Challenge: The Boston Tea Party-An Expensive Cup of Tea

This is fine reporting. I can't imagine what 92,000 pounds of tea floating on the water in Boston harbor looks like ! Your account covers the high points of the day efficiently. The image of men disguised as indians used to avoid being recognized while massive amounts of tea was being dumped in the harbor must have appeared awkward, if not entertaining and demeaning. The controversies around the taxing of teas exported from Great Britain to America seem to be ongoing with the exception of "The so-called Tea Act from May 10, 1773, a law granting the Company the right to directly ship its tea to the Colonies and the right to the duty-free export of tea from Britain. The tax they avoid this way is three pence per pound of tea."

Finally: You left us hanging which is good reporting:

"The beginning of the end?

Will we hear about repercussions from the British Government? Insiders say this can be the beginning of a harsh and unprecedented confrontation between Great Britain and the Thirteen American Colonies. We will keep you updated."


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211
211
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


The Boston Tea Party: Large Cup of Tea for Fish

Bravo for producing an animated report of this memorable event ! Your strong point is the impressive amount of interviewing you do. Your report is full of intriguing observations, humorous comments, and generous descriptions. It is too long when we think of how much room is available for covering even the most newsworthy events in a big city newspaper. Contemporary newspaper reporting is all about producing the most dynamic coverage with maximum efficiency. Still, your report makes for fun reading. You did a fine job capturing the event. Even the newspaper's most demanding readers will find this a delightful account.

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212
212
Review of The longing  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Thanks, dear Dana !
 The longing  (E)
Empathic love
#2099705 by Razorback


Sharrock:

Your poem reminded me of this quote I saw the other day:

"Humankind seems to have an enormous capacity for savagery, for brutality, for lack of empathy, for lack of compassion." Annie Lennox

I read your poem several times. You don't use many words to describe your suffering. However, it is not difficult to relate to how you feel while reading. What you describe is how so many people feel these days. Imagine what empathy could do to change the deeply disturbing and heightening threats of war,

So many of us have experienced "that empty spot" that "knows no filling." This is a powerful poem. I see you just joined W.Com. A warm welcome to you. This is a wonderful place to be where making friends with other writers is a great gift I know you'll enjoy.

All the best,

Gabriella



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Review of HUMANITY  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)

** Image ID #1793102 Unavailable **


 HUMANITY  (E)
Rich , poor. Strong , weak. Equality is humanity.
#2099121 by kv


Kv:

I admire your ability to communicate your
message with a few well placed words. This poem
is wise and thought-provoking. It comes with a
powerful message. You write with you own voice.
It has a quirky feel. The wisdom you exude is
found at the very end--after we've read the poem
all the way through to the last word.

I particularly like this stanza:

So many different things to see.
So many creatures in this sea.
Some float.
Some have boat.
Destiny is real , guaranteed.
Here I write and you read.

I admire your wisdom and your work. I look
forward to returning to read more of your
writing. I see you've been here for just one week.
Welcome to Writing.Com ! I know you'll
do well here. You have real ability !

All the best,

Gabriella


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214
214
Review by Gabriella
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks, dear Dana !

 My College Application   (E)
Hi! Could you guys please help me with this? What should I add or take out?
#2099376 by jbrittpetty


Dear Jbritt,

The substance of your piece:

After reading this college application statement, I wonder why you refer to your mother as "bad" --criminal versus chronically mentally ill. She may be a schizophrenia with a major affective disorder or a stress disorder that is responsible for her inability to control her impulses. Since you are submitting your statement to the college, I would suggest describing your mother as sick. I wonder if she has been diagnosed adequately.

My suggestion is you shift gears to find out what illness or combination of illnesses your mother suffers from. She is all over the map, doing what she does, sometimes she breaks the law. You say she doesn't understand the consequences. If your mother is seriously ill, she isn't at fault. Has she been under the care of a psychiatrist ? I thought about the admission officer who will read your description of your mother as a criminal and/or bad person, I think you'd be wise to veer away from portraying her as evil or bad to describe her as sick with moments of clarity, and many more moments of reckless over-the-top behavior.

Have you asked to talk to a doctor about your mother ? It may be that your dad and step-mother haven't wanted to burden you with the medical reports that spell out your mother's illness. Stop labeling your mother as a bad person till you know more.

Best of luck with your college application,

Gabriella



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215
215
Review of A Run in the Rain  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks, dear Dana !

 A Run in the Rain  (E)
A man runs down a path when he soon realizes there is more going on than a simple run.
#2099281 by dougo


Dear Dougo:

Welcome to Writing.Com ! I see you joined us on October 1.
From the look of your portfolio, you've already posted a
couple of pieces, and you've set up your portfolio nicely.
It's great to see your photo, Duogo, and it was a special
treat to read a bit about you.

I read "A Run in the Rain" and found myself running alongside
this man who thought someone was chasing him.
I have two questions: Was the chaser the girl's father ? Or was
the man the driver himself ? What a horrible event ! There
must be a special angel who hovers over heavy drinkers
who climb into the driver's seat of a car certain they are
ok to drive with way too many shots or beers to muddle
their perception and blur their vision. This fellow and his
lady friend were both inebriated. What a tragic outcome !
Looks like the survivor wasn't going to survive for long.

Your story was gripping and the ending, sad. You write
a good story, Dougo ! It's not easy to create the
atmosphere of pending crisis the way you do. Nice going !
Keep on writing. I look forward to reading more of
your work. *Smile*

Gabriella

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216
216
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Thanks, dear Dana !

 The Sad Cat Who Became Very Happy  (E)
A family's cat seems to be unhappy. Will the members of the family be able to help him?
#2098898 by Maria Coca


Dear Maria:

This is a wonderful story. I read every word with great pleasure. This will make a wonderful children's story ! Deciding that Minou needed a feline friend was a great decision. Picking Pinky and deciding on this name added to your story. There is a perfect-childlike simplicity to this story--a perfect match for young readers. It isn't easy to strike a perfect chord when writing for younger children.

Your story is nicely formatted and clean--absent type-os and grammar errors. Nice going, Maria ! I look forward to reading more of your work.

All the best,

Gabriella


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217
217
Review of Thinking is Bad  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)

STATIC
Thinking is Bad  (E)
A look at how the society destroys those who abandon thought.
#2077978 by Naveed


I posted a link to your poem on our Writing.Com Newsfeed. I hope you receive positive feedback. You are articulate and
courageous, Naveed. Your poem, "Thinking is Bad" is
not only beautifully written, it sends an important message. We are fortunate to live in a country where education is a civil right. Clearly, you've devoted a part of your life to becoming well educated. This is a very special accomplishment. I hope you go on to break barriers.

With admiration and all the best,

Gabriella



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218
218
Review of Untitled  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

Flower for display

 Untitled  (18+)
Beginning of a short story I am writing. Urban Fantasy Setting.
#2095952 by LettersWordsandStuff


This is a well written beginning ! Well done !! As a matter
of fact, if you don't write another word, this is still a
compelling short story. You leave your readers wondering
about the letter in a way that is impressive. Some abrupt endings are infuriating while others, like this one, leave some of your readers, like me, smiling at your decision to make us wait on the chance that there will be more. This is a tough act to follow. Hopefully, the next segment of your story will be as original as the first.

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella


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219
219
Review of Different Views  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1188842 Unavailable **

Poem: Different Views
By: Jeff

This is a wonderful poem, Jeffrey. You have the ability
to find words that not only rhyme but are a comfortable
fit with your poem and each line. You do a great job,
pulling us in to appreciate your struggle and your
quandry. It's tough for all of us to comprehend who
will "rejoice" vs those who "sing the blues." In reading
the news each day, I find it difficult to understand
why a child must die in a random shooting while the
drug dealers in the neighborhood thrive. You see, your
poem is thought provoking. Nice job, Jeffrey.

A suggestion: There are a couple of words in the first
few lines that are possessive. This means persons
should be person's. Others should be other's and ones should be one's.

Bravo, Jeffrey !! Keep on writing !

All the best,

Gabriella

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220
220
Review of Benny  
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Dear Maria,

I love this story. I especially love that butterfly for loving
the talkative elephant *Smile* You have a
wonderful imagination and your story is original.
Well done, Maria.

All the best,

Gabriella

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221
221
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

Thanks, dear Dana !

A wonderful story, Smee--I'm so pleased to have tripped over
your port. I look forward to reading more. This bit of flash
fiction is delightful.. I like your sense of humor. I hope you'll
write more.

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella

222
222
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)

RISING STARS COMMUNITY-WIDE SPRING COMPETITION:

--------*Star*RISING TO THE CHALLENGE: WRITE A MOVIE REVIEW*Star*-------

FILM REVIEWER: 50K or bust

FILM: "NOW YOU SEE ME"


REVIEWING CRITERIA:


50% credit will be given for presenting the film's pros and cons with a clear, articulate
review; 25% credit will acknowledge your ability to connect effectively with your
audience; final 25% credit will be given for providing a compelling review
that is a good read.


FILM CRITIQUE:

"Now You See Me" starring Michael Caine, Jesse Eisenberg, and Woody Harrelson

This is a fine movie review, Tina. I saw the preview for this film but never got around to
seeing the movie. I wondered if the technological wizardry would hold the audience in its
grip for the duration of the movie. It's clear that you enjoyed the movie. You did a
great job passing along your enthusiasm for the film.


OBSERVATIONS:

From what you tell us, the Four Horsemen are clever, thoroughly entertaining criminals.
I like the criteria you unearthed on the internet. If everything beneath the title
"The Pledge, The Turn, and the Prestige" is a quote, then you must add quotation marks
and give its author his due. On the whole, your review is well written and well presented.
It seems that the huge sums of money used to pull off these illusions were stolen from
corrupt business leaders. I wondered what happened to the money, the business
leaders, and the illusionists. Clearly, the Four Horsemen pulled off daunting heists. You were
smart not to supply too much information. Now, I'll have to shop around for the movie
to learn what transpired.

Your review's great strength is your enthusiasm. This movie has experienced many mixed reviews.
While I was reading your review, I wondered what you would want to tell us about this
film that gives us a chance to decide for ourselves if this is a good match. This would
mean digging a bit deeper to provide some insight into the film's strengths and weakness.
None of this is absolutely necessary. It does, however, help
movie fans to decide for themselves which movie is the best match.
Reviewing also takes into account style and personal preference. You loved this film so it's possible
that you feel you covered the waterfront, sharing what you could about the film, including
giving this film your blanket approval.


A COMPELLING REVIEW:

What is especially impressive is your ability to write a thoughtful
review that covers most of what needs to be addressed in the body of a movie review
in a way that fuels the movie goer's enthusiasm for this film.


ERGO

You penned a fine review, Tina. It has been especially fun for me to see
how comfortably each of you who submitted a review is able to make the transition
from reviewing poetry and short stories to writing a first-rate movie review. Your review
is a wonderful example of this.

You did well pointing out that the X factor in this film is the staged musicianship.
I'll have to see the movie to find out how this team of four small timers are transformed
into four slick illusionists who take Las Vegas by storm. Where the illusions are
concerned, this quote says it all: "Every magic trick has a third act,
the hardest part, the part called The Prestige. Prestige has come to be known as the
finishing act in a magician's trick, a finale of sorts, where, for example, the object of
the magician's trick is returned from disappearance, or a woman
reappears unharmed from a box of swords." You tell us this film "follows the three
acts of good magic illusion." This is the best case for going to see this film.


Thank you for participating in this "Rising to the Challenge" Competition, Tina.

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella


Rising Stars Member to Member Reviewing Sig



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223
223
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)



*Star*RISING STARS COMMUNITY-WIDE SPRING COMPETITION: *Star*

--------RISING TO THE CHALLENGE: WRITE A MOVIE REVIEW-------

FILM REVIEWER: PandaPaws; VET TECH in 2020!

FILM: "SOMEWHERE IN TIME"



REVIEWING CRITERIA:

50% credit will be given for presenting the film's pros and cons with a clear, articulate
review; 25% credit will acknowledge your ability to connect effectively with your
audience; final 25% credit will be given for providing a compelling review
that is a good read.


FILM CRITIQUE:

"Somewhere in Time" starring Christopher Reeves, Christopher Plummer, and Elise McKenna.

This is a fine movie review, Ms Panda Paws-- the kind of review that you'd look for at the
11th hour when you're dying to see a movie and you hunt for the "quick picks"- just the other
side of a sound bite--to help you make a decision as to what to see. All of the movie
theaters provide online blurbs that summarize the plot and give you a sense of
the movie's potential. Your review is very much like those.

I remember "Somewhere in Time." I recall that the New York Times panned
Christopher Reeve's performance. It claimed that Reeves has no more weight on
the screen in this role than a giant helium-filled canary !! If I recall
correctly, the movie was given such poor reviews that the producers pulled
the movie very soon after it was released. Some years later, it resurfaced
on the various movie channels on cable. Many fans welcomed it
back with rave reviews. I've been told a reunion of the film's
making still takes place each year on the island.


OBSERVATION:

I've been privileged to read your blog and your wonderful "Red, White, and Blue" poetic tributes to those
brave soldiers who fought in the Civil War, Battle of Gettysburg, and World War II. Your writing style is
straight-forward, always thoughtful, and unpretentious. You are clearly captivated
by the displays of honor and courage in the various wars you cover with your
poetry. That you enjoyed this film with its old fashioned gentility
and civility isn't surprising. Christopher Reeves' character is portrayed as
gallant. There is a link there, don't you agree ?


A COMPELLING REVIEW:

What is especially impressive is your ability to write an off-the-cuff
review that covers everything that needs to be addressed in the body of a movie review
in a way that fuels the movie goer's enthusiasm for this film. Your review is
short enough to capture the interest of your average, quick-fix
movie goer looking to be enticed. While I read the first two paragraphs with
great interest, the nucleus of your review is found in those final two
paragraphs. This is the part of your review that will make most folks sit up
and take notice.


ERGO

You penned a fine review, Ms Panda Paws. It's been especially fun for me to see
how comfortably each of you who submitted a review is able to move from
reviewing poetry and short stories to writing a first-rate movie review. Your review
is a wonderful example of this.

Thank you for participating in this "Rising to the Challenge" Competition, Ms P.

Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella


Rising Stars Member to Member Reviewing Sig



,
224
224
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)




RISING STARS COMMUNITY-WIDE SPRING COMPETITION: WRITE A MOVIE REVIEW

FILM REVIEW WRITTEN BY BIG BAD WOLF Is Howling!

Banner for new contest group associated with Rising Stars

REVIEWING CRITERIA:


50% credit will be given for presenting film's pros and cons with a clear, articulate
review; 25% credit will acknowledge your ability to connect effectively with your
audience; final 25% credit will be given for providing a compelling review
that is a good read.


FILM CRITIQUE: DRIVING ANGRY starring Nicholas Cage

This is fine effort ! I must admit, I was swept away by your telling of this story. And, horrified.
Imagine watching the people you love tortured and killed as a sentence for criminal activity !
You chose a high energy, action-filled film. What is most compelling about your review
is the effort you put into setting the stage for the film. What is missing is a sense of the film's relentless
action reflected in the pace of your review.

You are a conscientious observer, BBWolf. This is your great strength !

AN ASIDE:

When you submit work for a competition, run it by a friend and check your spelling.
Here are a few suggested changes in your review. Errors of one kind or another distract your readers.
While you made a few errors, you worked hard to produce an effective review.
I appreciate the amount of effort you put into making a good, strong presentation.

SUGGESTED REPAIRS:

In the first paragraph, loose should be lose

In your second paragraph: when you write: .."rescue his grand daughter and to kill Jonah.. ...eliminate "to"
Phew: the last sentence is long and a bit convoluted. I bet you could break it in two.

Third paragraph: Last sentence too long. This is a film review. Readers looking to go to a movie
want quick effective feedback. No long drawn-out sentences. When in doubt, break the sentences
down when you go back for a final edit.

ERGO

You do a good job wrapping up your review in the last two paragraphs. You hit on the important
elements of the movie, including warning parents that this film is not for young children.
You mention the movie is "good with very little being wasted." The one bit of advice I can offer you
after reading your review all the way through is the review might have been more effective if it
mirrored the pace of the film to some extent with the pace and directness of your review.
Your intention was good. Your long sentences were written to provide what you clearly felt were
important details. The next time you review, get out those editing scissors to cut long sentences
down by half. You'll see what a difference it makes. Shorter sentences tend to be more powerful.

On the whole, this was a very strong first attempt at writing a movie review.


Bravo and all the best,

Gabriella






.

225
225
Review by Gabriella
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Dear Debecker:

It is my pleasure to review this piece on behalf of "Rising Stars."

This is a touching memoir. When I lived in Philadelphia, I loved walking around South Philadelphia with its fabulous Italian market and tree-lined streets. It is the kind of neighborhood that you describe. Generations of families live in the same houses. These are beautiful old well constructed homes built by Italian stone masons. Many young marrieds look in South Philadelphia these days for good houses in largely safe neighborhoods where the residents share a strong sense of community.

Thanks for sharing your family memories. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

I have a couple of suggestions for you:

1) This sentence seems awkward. See what you think: "Now, more than a decade later, he reached."
Not sure what "he reached" refers to *Smile*

2) In this sentence, you don't need commas: "Jim had never once, in his life, dated a red head nor been attracted to one." It should read: Jim never dated a red-head nor had he been attracted to one.

3) Re: "Sal, stopped as well and looked in the direction of his friends captivated attention."--you might consider trimming the sentence just a bit to make it feel less formal and flow better: Eg: Sal turned to see what caught his friend's attention. Note: the use of friend's in this case is possessive.

4) Re your final paragraph: I'd split the sentence in two if you can. This is a pivotal moment. See if you agree that the warm and fuzzy moment when Jim and his wife-to-be are standing before the altar to take their vows is buried in a long sentence with impersonal details.

(Suggestions: Drop the word "And." 12 should be twelve. Place the word in ..where you state the "laid marble floors in one of the oldest..) If you decide to rewrite this paragraph, keep in mind it's often the case that fewer words have a greater impact. *Smile*

All of us at one time or another have a tough time seeing our writing as others do. Your love of painting pictures with words is characteristic of your writing style. For what it's worth, I'd pull back a bit from using adjectives that tend to be stiff or formal to set the stage for an event. Instead, I'd try to use fewer, more accessible words when you craft a sentence. This is especially true when you're describing warm fuzzy memories *Smile*.

Bravo on having delivered a nice piece. I look forward to seeing more of your work !!

Warmest best,

Gab


Thanks, dear Dana !


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