\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
Review Requests: ON
1,248 Public Reviews Given
1,251 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
Least Favorite Item Types
AI Generated Content of Any Kind.
I will not review...
NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 -5- 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
101
101
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com, Michael!

I’ve seen your work before but was never quite sure of what I thought about it enough to write you a good review. This one caught my fancy for some reason when I saw it on the sidebar.

I like it; it’s a simple, cozy sort of tale with a futuristic twist. The subtle themes behind the two vastly different species coming together and appreciating each other are thoughtful, as the metaphor extends to human interactions as well. We often feel unsure or awkward reaching out to those who appear different from us, and James’ hesitation to speak to the one he’s attracted to is instantly relatable as well as comfortably trite.

Simple formatting fixes which are highly recommended around here for a smoother reading experience include: Size 4 Verdana font, double spaces or indented lines rather than running everything into one single block, and I also noticed you forgot to place a scene divider at “longed and hoped for.” The next paragraph indicates a new scene, their first date, but the only way I realized that is when you described her new outfit. You can access all the required formatting tools in the row of tiles above the text entry box. Our proprietary markup language is quite simple, built around use of {…}, known as “curly brackets.” A word count at the top is also helpful so we know what we’re getting into, especially since you have the author name and title repeated there anyway. We also like to encourage the use of all three genres so people can find items more easily when browsing. It also helps your work be nominated for Quill Genre awards. I think “Career,” “Relationship,” or “Friendship” would do.

Now, I’m not really a romance reader, so as I read this I kept looking for something more dramatic to happen. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine the way it is, but a few thoughts follow on how to add interest and make it run a little deeper than a trite meet story…

Characters are the most important part of your story, and bringing them fully to life is crucial. Development of character traits, such as an endearing flaw or a quirky habit, helps add interest and engagement. Conflict and tension keeps the stakes high and leads to a character arc as the protagonist discovers something about themselves or the world around them by achieving goals and forging relationships through obstacles at high stakes. What’s the payoff for James if he makes this relationship work? What sad state will he be in if he fails? The stakes could be a little higher to keep us engaged with the narrative.

And now a final note, one which you might find terribly insulting… how much AI generation went into this piece? I seem to detect certain generalizing phrases which AI chat bots like to use. I won’t paste it into an AI content detector because they’re notoriously inaccurate. I’m probably being hyper sensitive because I don’t know you. Just ignore this paragraph *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
102
102
for entry "Lost at Sea" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings!

I'm here from I Write 2025.

I believe this is the first time I've had the chance to review a fellow entry in the Hook of the Book. It was a good idea to write it into a book entry and use for this activity. And may I ask how you were able to access the image prompt? Do you think it'll still be visible when Jeremy changes it in the forum? He never leaves one up after it's done with. You may want to write a description of the image in case it goes away.

You've captured a tantalizing situation in only 63 words, giving us a fine hook that encapsulates the image while going beyond it.

I had immediately come up with the twist of a human stowaway in the trunk, and so did others as well, but mine occupied a lot more words than yours, mostly because I approached it from the perspective of dialoguing magpies. For a hook and an opening setup, yours is definitely quite succinct, though it doesn't draw in the sharks (but how could it, considering the perspective?)

If I had to make any suggestions, it would be to continue this story at a later date - I'm excited to know more about this character and what becomes of them! Though as you might realize, first person PoV almost always guarantees survival of the narrator - unless the author is Jeff Author Icon *Shock2*

Wouldn't it be fun to make a Drabble (100 word story) out of this image prompt? Remember, the hook is only the opening which grabs the reader's interest. The Drabble has a beginning, middle and end. I have a whole collection of Drabbles which ended up turning into a hodgepodge of odds and ends similar to this - a sort of author's junk drawer. Seems like most of us around here have at least one book of micro writing.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
103
103
Review of TEDDY  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings!

I saw your Newsfeed post and dropped by to read your item. I love your personal narrative here, sharing the story of the bears you used to have and how you've made your little treasured bear by hand.

I've been thinking about taking up crochet or knitting myself lately, because I realized I need to do something physically productive with my hands... Long story. I spend most of my time on screens of one kind or another, and after a while I need to change to a different medium of creation.

I feel bad saying this, but you have a small laundry list of typos here that I feel the need to let you know of *Smile*
1. "Grizzly" bear
2. "Branching out from"
3. "Getting bored"
4. "Crochet yarn"
5. "Kind of" and "aviator's" and "to/too"

Now to answer your final question. I love making digital artwork, and lately I feel as though writing is my favorite way to create. I'm obsessive, so I can only seem to do one creative hobby at a time, throwing myself into it as much as possible.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
104
104
Review of Lane 96  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Ricardo!

Nice to meet you. This story was an interesting step into Twilight Zone surrealism. You have a good descriptive style, setting up the scene and arranging the circumstances in an amusingly strange and mysterious way.

I appreciate the nice large font you've used; it comes through even on mobile. Size 4 Verdana is my favorite.

I have a couple minor suggestions and then some larger points to make. First, the idea of a road "looming" in the opening sentence seems a bit off. Roads stretch, weave, even maybe "yawn," but since the road is not actively coming towards you, I'm not sure you can say it "looms." Now I'm thinking of the Imagine Dragons album Loom and what the lead singer said explaining why he chose that name. Perhaps it's ok after all *Pthb* in which case it's quite creative of you *Smile*

Second super simple typo is brakes/breaks. Brakes are for cars and are the kind you're looking for.

Another typo I just noticed is the sentence which begins "Jumping out of it’s way..." The word should be "its," and the entire sentence is a dangling modifier.

Now, a larger point would be... The story kind of rambles. I mean, the beginning and middle don't particularly lead us to the end. It's a surprise, of course, as we are absorbed in Brian's thoughts about his family, but by the time the story is over we realize all of his familial ruminations were unrelated to anything else. Ultimately, it feels like it lacks a theme or an overarching thought, perhaps even being disjointed. I'm not exactly sure what to suggest here... Maybe if the aunt had mentioned something about a mirage in the woods, it would help tie things together and foreshadow what happens next.

Other than that, this is a pretty interesting tale with potential to be a lot more of a thriller if you look it over with a fresh perspective.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
105
105
Review of The Key Part V  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Dorianne!

I found this chapter using the Random Read and Review Button, so I have no clue what's going on or how this melodrama ends *Smile*

You've brought us into the middle of an exciting soap opera, showing two seemingly unrelated and action-packed scenes which leave us hanging. The characterization seems a bit weak, leaning on cliche descriptive words and trite circumstances to bring stories which feel like bits and pieces from an old Unshackled broadcast.

Of course we feel concerned about these people we've never heard of before, who seem to be going through so much. Yet it all seems a bit amateurish and simplistic, especially with the tagline at the end. You could expand on each scene to show us a little more context, but I assume you've broken it up into brief chapters.

I would recommend... Well, it's hard for me to make suggestions about modifying your writing style because I personally work from a very instinctive basis, but I can tell it needs a bit of refinement. Perhaps what the issue is, is that you're inspired by what you see in movies and TV. Perhaps you should read more books to see how people transfer these exciting events from the screens in their minds to the written word.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
106
106
Review of Scarlet  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Kiya!

Well, I know you like to write about and shed light on serious subjects, so I don't often browse your port because it can be upsetting for a softie like me. But since you offered, I figured I'd go ahead and take the risk for a friend.

You've written something tense and gripping, and in fact it echoes a story of yours from many years back, something about a payphone. A young lady trapped in a sordid life loses herself in make-believe, leaving us asking if the final moment of revenge and escape actually happened or if it was another dream crafted to get Ada through the horrors of another day.

The writing style is vivid, bringing to light all the visceral details of abuse and neglect. You incorporated all the prompts well, using the three words, the character specification and the genre.

I'm a little puzzled about your formatting: on mobile, the text spills across or breaks the borders of the page, causing me to rotate the screen and slide the page from side to side so as not to miss a word. How'd that happen? You know my favorite font: Size 4 Verdana.

Suggestions: *Pthb* I hate having to make any most of the time, but Jeremy requires at least one for his review program. So... You're already a strong writer, and I admire your ability to take us places we don't really want to go and show us the all-too-real miseries of life which we might otherwise ignore. Your vocabulary is excellent: I've even learned a word, "bibulous." It foreshadows what we later see.

My only suggestion is to be true to yourself and never wonder if you should change your style or water down things because we don't stop by often. This is Quill worthy material... (Is it ok to say that? *Shock2* )

Take care, thanks for sharing, best of luck at the contest (which I've entered as well...) and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
107
107
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Tim!

It's been a while since I found one of your poems on the Random Read and Review.

I love this free verse depiction of two crows as they go about their lives. You share a snapshot of the moments you can see out your window, and it's both picturesque and carefully detailed. We feel as though we are seeing a sample of your journal as you contemplate the beauty of creation.

I can never think of anything to suggest that people change about their poetry, as each piece is a unique portrayal of life as it is seen by one person.

On mobile, I'm unaware of the size and style font you've used, but I always recommend Size 4 Verdana.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
108
108
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Staine!

I'm here as a fellow member of I Write 2025.

A quiet, contemplative poem, musing about your collection of books and wondering if you have too many. I can picture you sitting before the fire with a good book, enjoying it against the bitter chill outside. Then, the moment comes when you begin to declutter, wishing your well-read books a fond farewell.

The free verse is creative and easygoing, beginning each verse with the phrase "I sit alone" and offering us a variation on the theme as we advance through the poem. First you have your thoughts, then you have your books, and at the end you have your thoughts and your books and are content in the moment.

I see Comic font is your favorite... I will gently remind you certain iOS devices do not format Comic. No problem for me anymore, but just a thought. Size 4 Verdana is my personal favorite.

I might suggest adding more sensory details to the poem to engage us in the moment. What's the weather outside? (Is it frightful? Is the fire delightful? *Laugh*) The time of day? Is there something aromatic in the oven as you sit and contemplate your books? Did you just finish your chores and are settling down to a blissfully clean house? A few tiny details might help bring it to life even more.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
109
109
Review of Winter Wonderland  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Steph!

I see you've had three enthusiastic ratings since I started this draft at 5AM *Laugh*

I'm reviewing your word search even though I don't have a desktop to complete it on. It looks like such fun, though, that I might print it out and do it on paper, the old-fashioned way!

Now, you understand that actually solving the puzzle is not required for a review, because the way the words get arranged in the puzzle block changes every time the page is reloaded, so it's not part of what you have control over as the creator. You're responsible for curation and presentation, and the rest is up to SM *Smile*

I like your presentation here, with an emphasis on brisk and sporty cold-weather activities sure to get one's blood circulating. You brought the theme home with a GIF of a hockey scene, and added a personal touch with the picture of your boys having outdoor winter fun.

You have a lovely fat list of words, all guaranteed to create thoughts of frigid temperatures and seasonal, action-packed delights. I'm getting cold just looking at them 🥶

Ok, as for improvement suggestions: I see you've misspelled "Arctic," which is enough to turn me into a raging polar bear *Rolling* You also neglected to add two more genres to the item, such as "Activity" and "Sports" or "Environment." This will help your item be found when browsing and also be nominated for as many Quill Awards as possible... Is that even possible for a Word Search? Maybe I'm mistaken. Anyway, choosing genres is one of my favorite parts of the "small stuff" associated with adding items to WdC.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.
110
110
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings!

I found this fascinating piece using the Random Read and Review Button.

How interesting: a poem arranged like a song, complete with a detailed description of the corresponding music video. It carries a strong theme of international peace and reminds us we must all come together or face a rapidly crumbling world.

I like the free verse; I can picture the solemn narration of the lines with your video description. It gives me questions as to whether this is a sort of essay about a video which does indeed exist, or if it's entirely something you've created in words in the hope of one day seeing it brought to reality.

I would recommend adding line spaces between the different parts to keep it tidy. I can't tell what size font you've used on mobile, but I like to tell everyone to use Size 4 Verdana so it's nice and clear and takes full prominence on the page. A line count is a helpful thing to add at the bottom, and perhaps the notes could be kept in a dropnote for tidiness.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
111
111
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings!

I found this using the Random Read and Review Button.

A wise, albeit depressing summation of last summer. Record heat indeed, but now 2025 looks like it's shaping up to be even worse. Did you hear the low was 90° F in some part of Australia recently? *Shock2*

My only response to such bad news is sheer escapism, brought on by an overwhelming sense of helplessness. I can't imagine there's anything I can do to fix the mess... If I could think of something, I would. These days I tend indeed to be unaware of a lot of what goes on because I simply don't want to know... Which has its own problems.

Any suggestions for this are strictly in formatting. I might recommend removing the extra space between each line and clarifying the prompt and date and activity it was written for so others more unfamiliar with the site and your habits will understand.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
112
112
Review of Evidence  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Carly!

I'm here as a fellow member of I Write 2025.

An amusing, almost satirical flash piece. I enjoy reading shorts like these because they're over quickly, usually with a snappy catch at the end. You've set up a situation ripe for humor while sharing a theme of acceptance and kindness.

As a flash contest entry, I understand it's hard to get enough "story" into it. I might suggest, when the day is over, going in and adding a bit of narrative at the beginning to center the "I" who is speaking. Opening with suspended dialogue is a bit confusing as we move from one speaker to another.

I'd also recommend adding three relevant genres, such as LGBTQ+, Drama, and Friendship or Emotional.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
113
113
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Ah, a writer of children’s stories. I love writing and reading them myself; in fact I’m very much a kid at heart *InLove2*

This is a charming tale of a magical adventure featuring two cat friends. It has a conflict and a resolution, but lacks any particular character development aside from learning the Oak tree speaks to them. There is no specific reason why Sneaky Sam, whoever he is, would want to summon a storm, and it seems a lot has been left unsaid for simplicity and brevity.

Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it depends largely on the age group you’re writing for. If you have very young kids in mind, it’s better to keep the action tame and the evildoers at arm’s length, and a story brief enough to be read at bedtime. Older kids, however, will appreciate a deeper dive into character motivations, interactions, dialogue, and plot twists, which could stretch your length into a thousand words or more. “What if” is a great question to ask yourself as you consider different elements and scenarios to incorporate into your story.

Adding any further content will require you keep an eye on your word counts… for that matter, I highly recommend adding a word count to each subtitle so we can decide if it’ll make a good bedtime story or if it requires more time. I also recommend using WdC formatting language (which can be accessed by using the tiles lined up on top of the text entry box) to make your items Size 4 Verdana, which is an excellent choice for keeping the page clean and engaging.

Another thing I would venture to add is the dreaded “did you use AI” inquiry. Something about the writing style bugs me, but I’m not going to paste it into one of those AI content detectors because they simply aren’t reliable or accurate. Maybe it needs more dialogue, or maybe it’s just me being hyper sensitive. I can’t pin down anything specific to tell you to change to make it sound more “human.” At any rate, it’s a sweet and fluffy little piece which a young child would enjoy.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
114
114
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Ah, a writer of children’s stories. I love writing and reading them myself; in fact I’m very much a kid at heart *InLove2*

This is a charming tale of a magical adventure featuring two cat friends. It has a conflict and a resolution, but lacks any particular character development aside from learning the Oak tree speaks to them. There is no specific reason why Sneaky Sam, whoever he is, would want to summon a storm, and it seems a lot has been left unsaid for simplicity and brevity.

Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it depends largely on the age group you’re writing for. If you have very young kids in mind, it’s better to keep the action tame and the evildoers at arm’s length, and a story brief enough to be read at bedtime. Older kids, however, will appreciate a deeper dive into character motivations, interactions, dialogue, and plot twists, which could stretch your length into a thousand words or more. “What if” is a great question to ask yourself as you consider different elements and scenarios to incorporate into your story.

Adding any further content will require you keep an eye on your word counts… for that matter, I highly recommend adding a word count to each subtitle so we can decide if it’ll make a good bedtime story or if it requires more time. I also recommend using WdC formatting language (which can be accessed by using the tiles lined up on top of the text entry box) to make your items Size 4 Verdana, which is an excellent choice for keeping the page clean and engaging.

Another thing I would venture to add is the dreaded “did you use AI” inquiry. Something about the writing style bugs me, but I’m not going to paste it into one of those AI content detectors because they simply aren’t reliable or accurate. Maybe it needs more dialogue, or maybe it’s just me being hyper sensitive. I can’t pin down anything specific to tell you to change to make it sound more “human.” At any rate, it’s a sweet and fluffy little piece which a young child would enjoy.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
115
115
Review of Flipping Liam  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Victor!

I found this on the Random Read and Review Button.

Ah, a quick thrill. If I have to read stuff which dances on the edge, I prefer it in flash form to get it over with as quickly as possible. This was written with brisk, wry humor and a snappy ending and was a pretty fun read as I considered what might be happening in such a situation.

I would suggest adding two more relevant genres such as Crime/Gangster and Dark or Thriller/Suspense. This helps people find your item when browsing. I also like to recommend Size 4 Verdana font, but I can't tell what size you've used on mobile so it's all good.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
116
116
Review of Angels  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, friend!

I love this acrostic you've crafted for us. It shares your beliefs about the beautiful nature of God's angels and how they interact with us on Earth.

I like the rhyming couplets, which worked out perfectly because the word has an even number of letters. And the different colors you've chosen to set off the opening letter of each line adds elegant clarity to the acrostic style.

I'm not criticizing the perfection of what you have here, but since the BEAR project requires at least one suggestion, I might suggest adding more lines. What you could do is select another word and add it as a second verse acrostic: maybe "love..." or you could add a verse built on the word "God's" at the top to create an acrostic reading "God's Angels..." Because after all, there are good angels and bad angels, and we should be clear which ones we're talking about *Smile* *Angel*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
117
117
Review of Power  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to Writing.com, Carl!

A "powerful" poem, written using the letters of the theme word to introduce each line. We see the world's problems laid out in simple terms: corruption, greed and lack of morals, along with the ultimate consequences of allowing oneself to fall prey to such.

I noticed the last letter has a couplet by itself, but it's run together as a single line broken by the screen: you may want to do a line break at the second "the" and add {indent} at the front of it to arrange this in a more visually pleasing manner, like so:

Ravenousness: the greater the amount one requires,
         the quicker the one will expire.

Which brings me to our proprietary markup language, known as WML. The row of tiles above the text entry box is your key to rearranging and formatting your text in different ways. I always suggest Size 4 Verdana font. As as an acrostic, you can also underline and/or bold the first letter of each line to bring the point home; that way you may remove the word written as the title at the top, which is usually unnecessary here. If you need any help, you can check "Writing.Com 101" Open in new Window. for an extensive user guide.

I would recommend choosing three relevant genres for this poem, as it makes it easier for people to find your work when browsing. Philosophy, Political, Drama, Relationship, History, Psychology, or Dark would all be suitable options. Filling in three genres also allows opportunity for as many Quill Award nominations as possible.

I look forward to seeing you around here more. Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
118
118
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Charles!

Good grief, what a rollickingly absurd and glorious story! I loved it! I'll try to break down what I liked so much so I don't go rambling all over...

Characters: you have the perfect "everyman" type with Joe, the average tech geek who has some unusually awful bad luck with tech gear. His interactions with the world around him are so introverted, I can really identify. I love the scene where he's chilling in a corner of the meeting with his teacup and a good book, ignoring everyone *Laugh* His coworkers are ingenious, so typical and yet so creatively done. Rob with the magic abilities, Greg the exasperated boss, Fred the guy with the rich auntie... They're a scrappy bunch, but somehow they get their mission accomplished through bungling and barfing. Joe's habit of saying "fair" to stave off conflict reminds me of the gentle ways of the Strange Planet creatures.

Premise: The idea of a tech nerd being hounded by saboteurs throughout his life is absurd, approached with enough sympathetic humor that we can't take it seriously enough to be alarmed by the death and blowing up of stuff which eventually ensues. I was prepared for a miserable ending, because I've seen other "everyman" stories where the poor fellow gets hurled through a "series of unfortunate events," and they can be pretty depressing and pointless. This, though, had a larger message of friendship and teamwork by the time it arrived at the end. I'm really looking forward to Joe's further adventures.

Setting: the real world, complete with name dropping and geography, is perfect. You've set up such a relatable situation, with all that malfunctioning tech and the little details carefully woven together, from the butter to the flashbacks of Joe's childhood. You keep us hanging, unsure of what's going on from moment to moment and reading excitedly to see what happens next. The moment where he was reading the feelings of the guy at the showdown shows how empathetic Joe is; I was hollering at him that he's overlaying his own feelings and not to fall for his own soft spot...

Ok, I do need to give you a couple of suggestions. First, you should make the font larger. I know this will throw off the careful tapering of Joe's moans of shock, but a little twiddling will help. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana for ease of reading.
Then, I highly recommend choosing two more genres for the item. Technology and Crime/Gangster would be good, unless you want to give away the lighthearted side and add Comedy as one. This will help people find it when browsing, and also allow the opportunity to be nominated for as many Quill Awards as possible.

You may want to check the scenes where they're at the auntie's house and make sure you didn't confuse Fred and Greg somewhere along there.

A word count at the top would also be a great idea to let us know what we're in for.

Your writing style is brilliant; this comes across like an office sitcom collided with Mad Max. I really enjoyed it and can't wait for the next installment.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
119
119
Review of Into the Wind  Open in new Window.
for entry "Oh So Delicious" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings, Lizzie!

I remembered you’re part of the PPC5 challenge and thought I’d find one of your entries to review as a fellow member.

This is a yummy poem... And now I'm hungry for a simple, classic dish of Italian spaghetti *Hungry*

You've painted your scene well, engaging our senses with the smell of garlic, the flavor of cheese and tomato sauce, and the sight of warm bread cleaning the plate. It's a deeply relatable moment for all of us; my mom and I love a good pasta dinner.

The free verse is conversational, whimsical and creative, as we spot a couple of accidental rhymes which lend a flow to the piece.

You've misspelled the word "fare" as it relates to food in the 13th line. Also, a line count at the bottom is nice to help Lilli quickly see the requirements have been met. I can hardly remember the prompt for that week; was it the "favorite food" prompt? Perhaps you should add a little note about it at the bottom, even just for your own reference. I know Lilli adds them all to a "quick list" which we can look at if we fall behind later in the year.

A perfectly scrumptious snapshot of a luxuriously simple dinner for one. I really enjoyed the tactile bliss you've shared with us here.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
120
120
Review of Perception  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Purple Princess!

I'm here as a fellow member of I Write 2025.

This is a fun little story... At first I thought it was describing a dream, going by the word in the subtitle, and when we arrived at the shift in font after your utilization of the prompt phrase, I figured that must be "real life" again.

You've made it lots more fun by making it entirely real and reasonable, though. I've heard before that critters look bigger when they're moving, and if a kid is terrified of snakes, I'm sure they would indeed appear way bigger than they actually are. Plus, I've always had a hard time estimating distances visually, though perhaps not to such an extreme extent... *Laugh*

Where Blair says "it was horrifying!" You left out the letter T in "it." I'm a super cheapskate when it comes to word counts; I love (well, maybe it can get a little tedious) going over and over my works trying to trim out excess and compact everything as briefly as possible. I think if you reworked some of the descriptions of fear in the first half, you can add a description of what the Scarlet Kingsnake looks like. When I saw the name I remembered the Coral Snake, which looks similar to the King Snake but with reversed stripes. Have you ever heard the rhyme “red and black, friend of Jack, red and yellow, kill a fellow”? That’s how to tell the difference…

I noticed you have this listed as a “serial” instead of a “short story,” which was probably a slip of the mouse. Also, I always recommend adding a third genre such as “Comedy,” “Nature” or “Environment” or “Family.” It’ll help others find it when browsing.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
121
121
for entry "1929 - Week 22" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned!

I'm here again as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

I've probably said this several times to everyone participating, but I love seeing how we all respond differently and uniquely to the prompts. This particular set of words seemed to imply a rather "run of the mill" interpretation, but you've made it special by tapping into an era of great upheaval, where fortunes were lost and people found out who their friends were. I'm a fan of the Depression era American Girl character, Kit, and that time of US history has been a source of inspiration for me.

I've never heard of the movie you refer to, but I can see it sounds interesting. You forgot a line count at the end of your poem; it'll make Lilli's life just a bit easier if you have one *Wink* Perhaps also highlight the prompt words as they're used.

Aside from these little nitpicky details, I see nothing about the poem to suggest changing. You've captured a snapshot of an era in a few simple yet profound words.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
122
122
Review of Dalthyrian  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and happy new year, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

A whimsical rhyming poem about your (the narrator's?) favorite dragon. We see how much they love the creature; it must be a nice dragon if it has vast libraries! That's my kind of mythological creature *BigSmile*

Biographically speaking, I love how you've given this a gentle personal touch. I feel as though you really are speaking about a dragon you believe is "real." As authors and dreamers, we have a kinship with the characters we create, and I can identify with having an "imaginary" companion following one's life journey.

I notice you have a big empty space at the bottom of the item, before the prompt info. Perhaps you should hit the backspace key a few times there. Also, a line count is required for the project, even just to make Lilli’s life a bit easier *Wink* The bold font is a bit too “bold…” perhaps a larger size would suffice. This looks a bit too much like the impact font, which is rarely used (I always wonder why it’s here at all… *Think*) Oh, it’s always best to add a third genre, maybe “Personal” or “Writing” or “Fantasy.” This allows you to quantify for as many Quill nominations as possible.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
123
123
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Ah, Christmas... We thought it was over last week, but they're still cleaning up the clearance tinsel and pine boughs at the big box stores *Laugh*

You have a good poem here, following the rules of the form and setting up a dualistic, reminiscent comparison of Christmas past with Christmas present. We can all identify with the images of happy youth and quieter, more thoughtful older age. As we learn and grow, it is up to us to maintain the Christmas spirit without becoming sour, cynical or giving in to seasonal depression.

I can't tell what size font you've used on mobile, but I suggest Size 4 Verdana for everyone, especially to help poetry stand out in the center of our busy sidebars. A dropnote click me! ▼ to keep your form notes and such tidied away. A word count is also a useful touch to consider, especially if you participate in I Write (oh, I forgot it's different this year... Whatever! I have formed the habit of including a word count with everything so I don't get disqualified from anything *Laugh*)

Aside from these minor suggestions, this is perfect. I dislike telling people to modify their poetry in any way, especially if it's a more personal theme.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
124
124
Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
for entry "January 3, 2025" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings and blessings for a happy new year!

Ah, this is a spooky choice of mythological creature. I love seeing how we each respond in our own unique ways to the given prompts; it’s one of the fascinating things about this site. You’ve painted a picture of the figure of death as portrayed in your tarot cards and experienced in your own life. We see it as a haunting reminder of our human fragility and the fleeting nature of life. Yet you have observed a glimmer of hope in the stars… we are all made of stardust, after all.

As a poem, I would suggest using a larger size and style of font (size 4 Verdana is my favorite) to bring the words into clearer focus on our busy screens. You can also use a dropnote to enclose any extra info at the bottom for tidiness. Perhaps an image of the tarot card you had in mind would be interesting.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
125
125
Review of Promptly 4 and 5  Open in new Window.
for entry "I Like Trolls" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Surprisingly enough, I can appreciate trolls as well. They've gotten a bad rap over the years because of the modern idea of online "trolling," but honestly the only bad troll I can remember is the one under the bridge from the Three Billy Goats Gruff. (In fact, I felt almost a little sorry for the troll there when he was trampled underfoot...)

As you might know, I'm a Frozen fan, and the trolls there are portrayed in a fascinating way. They are the wise ones who raised orphan Kristoff and have an understanding of magic, which Elsa's parents were afraid of. When Elsa... Well, I won't spell out the whole thing. The trolls play an important role and they're good solid creatures.

Having expressed admiration for your unique choice of mythological creature, I now have to offer at least one suggestion as per the B.E.A.R requirements. I see you have uncapitalized opening letters, which creates a conversational, story-like flow. I usually instinctively capitalize every line unless they “spill over,” which can get weird *Pthb* I have also developed the habit of, perhaps learned from my participation in I Write last year, including a word count as well as a line count. It’s become quite useful to see how many words get used in poetry. Twice now I’ve attempted a Drabble poem with an allotment of 100 words (one in rhyme and meter and one in free verse.)

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
761 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 31 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5