*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Review Requests: ON
724 Public Reviews Given
724 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 -2- 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
26
26
Review of Child's Play  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I love a good poem, and this is one that makes us pause and think. Much has been said over the years about how senility becomes a second childhood, and you have captured that idea and brought it down into a brief, neatly arranged and creatively colored free verse poem.

Despite lacking rhyme, the balance and symmetry of the ideas contained within provides a great sense of structure and carries us through quite well, reflecting the cycle of life in a thoughtful way. So many items of yours I’ve fished out today are quite old. I marvel at your abilities from those early days.

I love the balance of the old and young at the turning point of the imagination and the memory: it becomes quite poignant to realize that we all will head in that direction someday and will find ourselves in need of care from others. I may object to the use of the word “innocent” for old people; in my experience, which is mostly what I’ve read and heard about, being elderly and senile means a loss of inhibitions… but perhaps it comes down to the same thing because they don’t realize what they’re doing is considered taboo. Which is an interesting consideration.

As a casual sort of poet myself, I view poetry as a highly subjective art form, which acts as a vehicle for us to pour our feelings or a creative narrative into in any way we like. I don’t pay much attention to rules of form, syllables and structure, though I probably should start honing my skills and taking those things more seriously.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
27
27
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ugh, I accidentally hit “load template” on my Review page and lost all that I’d written when the page reloaded. Lesson learned: use the “save and edit” feature often.

Friendship is a wonderful thing that crosses boundaries and barriers to provide a bond that lasts a lifetime, even if only in memories. Even if one of the friends is no longer available, the impact of the friendship on both parties is indisputable. I’m sure it’s nice for you to know that you’re both still present on this site. I’ll have to visit Shannon’s port soon.

This is an excellent personal essay about your early experience meeting someone and forming an online friendship with them based around the project you’ve described. I don’t have much to suggest other than the usual recommendation for larger font size and a word count. I like how you made sure to include a note about the contest it was written for at the top.

I noticed it has a slightly sloppy feeling, which might be hard to pin down. Perhaps it’s the repetition of Shannon’s full name from the 3rd paragraph to the 5th paragraph. But the information builds on itself in a reasonable way.

One of the best friends I’ve met around here is Joey's Spring has Sprung , who has helped me infinitely in my creative writing exploration. I couldn’t let this review go by without giving him a shoutout.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
28
28
Review of Late December...  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Wow, that was quite a tale. I’m glad both you and your grandfather managed to survive your respective snow adventures. I’ve never experienced a whiteout, either, so I can only imagine how terrifying it must be. I have read Laura Ingalls Wilder’s The Long Winter, which describes similar disorienting situations. I noticed you didn’t use the word “blizzard,” which is interesting.

As a personal narrative, I don’t have much to offer in the way of suggestions. Your font size could be larger, and there’s no word count, but those hardly matter. You’ve done an excellent job of showing us the stormy weather and the dangers involved. We marvel at how history indeed repeated itself as the snowstorm engulfed you. It’s a useful idea to use the old song as a hook at the beginning, but it doesn’t have that much of a connection to your story.

I like how you’ve included the contest and prompt it was written for, and I see that the Wings and Roots project is one of the activity goals on your bucket list. But since it’s closed at the moment, it may be a while before you can check it off.

This was a good anecdote, and I enjoyed reading it.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
29
29
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

A simple and charming first person narrative about a chance encounter with a foreign traveler passing through a small American town. The traveler encounters a stoplight and has a minor accident, and is treated warmly and welcomed by the narrating resident.

I love the thoroughly English name you’ve chosen for the visitor, Cedric Hastings. The overall tone of the item is quite realistic, and we almost feel as though it’s autobiographical, but of course it’s just a story.

I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. Other than that I have little to recommend, as usual, though the story does feel a bit anecdotal and pointless. But I would feel silly lecturing you on such things as goals, stakes and obstacles when it’s obvious you’re well aware of them. I like all forms of stories, from the down-home anecdote to the fully developed tale with a double character arc and lots of plot and action. This is an excellent vignette of a fleeting afternoon of fellowship long remembered by both parties.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
30
30
Review of Without Peer  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ah, we can all wax delightfully poetic about our favorite writing site! This is another great limerick series of yours… (I see it’s also written in Comic Sans font *Wink*)

With lighthearted rhymes and a careful attention to facts, the poem tells the origin story of WdC (you seem to imply that the StoryMaster met his wife after he created WdC, but perhaps I’m reading into it.)

Your structure is flawless, drawing us through the verses smoothly with nary a hiccup of meter. There’s nothing I can possibly suggest about it, except perhaps to make the font size larger. I wish I had enough patience to measure my syllables properly when creating limericks.

As to WdC… we love it or we wouldn’t be here participating madly in these humongous projects *Laugh* I love it for so many reasons… as a young person, I enjoy the social media aspects of the community, and I like being able to post Newsfeed notes, blog posts, share images, and chat in forums, plus create polls and quizzes (which I should definitely do more of; if it hadn’t been for GoT I wouldn’t have gotten around to trying out quizzes, but it’s fun and something to keep in mind.)

Anyway, my reasons for being here are innumerable. I hope you’re enjoying it as much as I am. This was a fantastic ode to WdC.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
31
31
Review of Safe Again  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

What a touching image we have here in this brief prose poem. A boy's favorite tree is cut down when its time has come, only to be recreated into something new that will last for many generations.

We begin with the onomatopoeia of a buzzing chainsaw, which sets the scene vividly as we see the old tree coming down. Then we see the stack of planks coming together into a new family heirloom, which completes the cycle of life and continues to provide a safe space for the boy to sleep in.

Each word counts towards the whole item, bringing the theme forward with clarity and simplicity. I really enjoyed this.

It’s amazing how much can be done with only 50 words. (Oh, that reminds me, I need to make a note of joining Steven’s “Drabble” activity. 100 word stories, here I come!) I recently had some experience with crafting a 50 word story in the Newsfeed for one of the GoT tasks that someone else had to do, and it was a fun learning session.

You’ve reminded me of the inspiring power of a few words, carefully crafted. I look forward to creating my own brief items in this way quite soon.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
32
32
Review of Caveat Emptor  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Whee! I love a good clean playful limerick, and this fits the bill excellently. Your fast-paced flinging out of advertising slogans had me confused for a couple lines until I realized you were stringing together all the different ones.

And you even very considerately list the sources of such at the end. I remember Mom looking up the vintage "ring around the collar" commercials to regale me with... I think I have personal experience with at least 85% of the rest of those products and slogans. (Grey Poupon was actually one of Mom's favorite mustards in my childhood...)

I don't know if I should complain about Comic font here... For what it's worth, Apple has snubbed Comic Sans, replacing it on their mobile devices (which includes iPads) with some absurdly elegant and spidery script called Snell Roundhand. Perhaps I should bring up this compatibility issue with the StoryMaster, because I looked into it and I think there's a way for him to program the site to display the Apple equivalent of Comic Sans, which they call Chalkboard. As a Purple Case, what would you suggest?

Ok, that wasn't much of a review *Laugh* Great poetry here, with a slightly jumpy rhythm, but it conveys the comedic confusion of sales talk well. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
33
33
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ah, this is an excellent idea, to gather all the little goals of life and put them in a list. It takes a lot of nerve to lay everything out in public for others to see and judge. What if you don't check off all the things you wanted to? But therein lies the challenge, and the accountability, and the fun.

I see the goals are writing oriented, and since this is a writing website that's natural. It's also admirable that you have so many of them checked off. That's a handy place to keep all the newsletters you've written, and I like the tidiness of the check boxes and the way it's arranged.

There are plenty of chances to achieve the rest of your goals around here; I noticed you haven't entered the Official WdC contests yet, or else you haven't checked them off. Also, you should update the link to the "Good Deeds Get Cash!" Sweepstakes, as the one you have in your list is the old version.

I love your goals for recording your family history and interviewing the elderly; those are worthy things to do for posterity. And it's great that you were able to check off the letters to your kids.

I can see that the love of writing is a big part of your life. It's a wonderful formative hobby.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
34
34
Review of Little Ships  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Wow, what a story. Harsh and painful and yet we see the young Frenchman survive, bearing those English boys forever in his memory. The sacrifice and the bonds formed lasted a lifetime and left both the narrator and the reader with a vivid impact. The action is tense and keeps us reading breathlessly to the end. I like the historical setting and the use of specific true events as the backdrop for a timeless war story. It’s amazing how they saved each other in so many ways; you’ve built a finely woven tale that won’t soon be forgotten.

I know this is a question that’s difficult to answer after so many years, but is the cover picture the one that was used as the Short Shots prompt? It hardly matters, but I like knowing what the prompt was. Congrats on the well deserved first place win. The font is large and clear, and I don’t have much to suggest. Perhaps instead of the third genre being “Writing.com” it should be “Action/adventure,” since that seems more relevant to the theme. Also, the scene dividers should be centered. Also a couple of super minor typos:

~ quotation mark left off the end of “Can you get Owen and me inside?
~ I paused and now I can’t find the other one *Laugh* don’t worry, it was negligible.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
35
35
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

A nice flash fiction story, with plenty of context explaining the ideas that sparked it. A word count would be nice, as I’m always curious, and if you wanted to submit it to a contest of one sort or another the word count is always required. I like to make a habit of including one in everything so I don’t forget on the important stuff.

I always recommend Size 4 font, and perhaps a font change between the story and the context would be helpful. Or, you could even tuck all the context notes into a click me! tips and tricks to keep things tidy when working with larger items or smaller ones as well.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
36
36
Review of A bitter betrayal  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Ah, a brief, almost summary story we have here. I might recommend fleshing it out and turning it into a story of the usual type around here, but the matter of fact, newspaper article style feels mythic and like a fable by itself. (One would think “newspaper article” and “fable” were contradictory… *Confused* *Laugh*)

If you cared to turn it into a longer story and yet are unsure how to do so, you could try bringing it into the restricted point of view of the next door neighbor, who hears something at 7 in the evening and then sees the stumbling burglar. We can then get a feel for the situation of the widow and the importance of the family secret recipe through dialogue with her and the police. Then, the surprise of the nephew being the culprit can be brought up as they view the camera footage. Or you could have it from the PoV of the widow, as the police call her in the evening to inform her of the disaster. This unfolding of actual scenes and real characters is what makes a story come alive, going from summary form to vivid tale of personal woe and betrayal.

There’s a lot of potential in this idea you have. Don’t forget to include a word count, and if the story grows, it’s a good idea to use Size 4 Verdana font around here to ensure readability and compatibility across devices.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
37
37
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

Wow, I feel cold and concerned reading this. I glance anxiously towards the window to make sure the sun is still shining…

A perfect vignette of the consequences of scientific overreach, which, though well meaning, wreaked havoc on the delicate balance of Earth’s climate. It focuses not on some lofty mad scientists in the lab, or on the efforts of others to combat what has happened, but simply tells us about an everyday mother and son whose lives have been forever changed by the loss of spring.

I don’t see much I would suggest changing, except maybe instead of narrating the explanation of why it’s snowing at the end of April, to try and weave it into the story somehow. Perhaps you could have her read the newspaper or turn on the radio and hear a fragmentary mention of the ongoing situation, only to shut it off and retreat into the story of springs past that she is recreating for her son.

This is an excellent story, and I enjoyed reading it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
38
38
Review of Take My Hand  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

A classic, old fashioned poem we have here, with quaint phrasing that could be thought of as hopelessly trite and corny, but is heartfelt and sincere enough to make an impact on the reader. I feel as though this was written to be read at a wedding. It would look quite lovely written out in fine script on parchment paper and framed as a memory of the great event.

Your meter flows well, almost prosaic in form, like a letter. It’s even signed at the bottom. And the simple repetition of the phrase “take my hand” throughout adds structure and balances the long lines. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font to create as much clarity as possible and help to focus the words against the busyness of the typical WdC page.

I love a good poem, and a sappy love poem is one of the nicest things to read. I always hope that it comes from the heart and reflects a real physical relationship in the author’s life, rather than being merely a product of the imagination. (Which is how I approach songs and musical artists… some, though perhaps talented, don’t really “speak to us” from their hearts, and I avoid artists who are obviously mere commercialists in their trade.)

As a poem, possibly a personal one, I have nothing to suggest for improvement. I’m easygoing when it comes to poetry, seeing it as a highly subjective art form in which one pours their own emotions, feelings, or a metaphorical narrative to create something memorable and meaningful. I don’t fuss much about rules of meter and form, preferring to judge the quality of a piece on an instinctive level.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
39
39
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Well, this is an ingenious take on the Dear Me prompt. I like how you’ve made a story out of it, even tagging the judges, two of which I’m personally familiar with as well. This has created a time capsule of sorts, reminding you of your goals and dreams, and showing us how hard you have worked to get to the status you now have in this community.

Your persistence and adaptability in the face of changing circumstances is admirable, and you view your accomplishments in a clear and objective light, without boasting or putting anyone down. Your 2010 goals are clear and simple, and by not setting up specific numbers of certain things to reach as you had the previous year, you have allowed yourself flexibility in reaching them and a certain leeway for figuring out if they were met by the end of the year. I suppose the answers are self obvious in seeing your Purple Case and knowing that you occupy a position of high respect here. But have you had anything published yet? I should check your port and see if you mention your publication status.

As a creative personal essay, there is not much I could offer to correct here. Perhaps you should consider using Size 4 font to ensure readability across devices. Also, you did remember to include the word count when you originally wrote this, right? It would be helpful to keep one close to the top or in the subtitle.

Congrats on the second place win. Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
40
40
Review of Colors of Fall  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Found this using the Random Read and Review button. I love a good nature poem, and this has all the essentials of one that is both charming and memorable.

You provide us with lots of beautiful imagery, using metaphors like “shred the sunlight” and “a vagrant
touch of red” to paint the scenes of a quiet autumn moment. I love the observation of the hole where a little critter must be hibernating. And the final lines about feeling at home in nature open up the poem to a new layer of meanings.

I don’t see anything to recommend here; your free verse flows smoothly along the page, and the formatting is good. I rarely have anything significant to suggest about poetry, being hardly an expert on such things as meter and structure. I prefer to view poetry as a highly subjective art form, where we can paint images of what we have in our minds or what we experience in life without worrying about counting syllables or measuring iambic feet. I know a good poem instinctively, and this is one of them.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
41
41
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Phew, that brought back memories of plowing through college level literature textbooks at an early age and wondering why anyone bothers *Laugh* No offense to you or your hard work in writing this - I am after all hanging out on a literature website - but I’ve always had a distaste for stories with dull, heavy themes that have to be pondered deeply upon to try and decipher when the story itself isn’t even very “good,” by which I mean enjoyable, enlightening or overall “positive.” I guess my own fictional writing leans towards childish and saccharine, especially lately. Funny because I was just considering that earlier today.

You’ve done excellent work here, but the way it moves through three different stories and a myriad of different analysis styles makes it feel too brief and “sample-ish” in how it deals with each story and style in just a few simplistic sentences. Perhaps it would have been made stronger by focusing on just one or two stories, or taking more time to dive into each form of analysis. But you probably had a word count to keep in mind, which reminds me it’s always nice to see one at the top of the page so we know what we’re getting into. Also, Size 4 Verdana font is definitely recommended here so it doesn’t feel like we’re reading an interminably boring essay which feels like a used car contract.

Also, one last genre would be a good idea to make it easier to find when browsing - not that anyone would be particularly interested, most likely. Perhaps “Drama” or “Reference” would be suitable.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
42
42
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Wow, what a tale of pain and suffering, alleviated by the determined efforts of the British army and thousands of helpers.

I’m not sure how much of this is fictional and how much is strictly accurate… that’s the problem with “fictionalized” accounts of historical events. I’m not especially well-read on the horrors of WW2, preferring to keep such distressing stories at arms length. But this sample is excellently written, stating facts of human depravity and the conditions at the camp with clarity but not dwelling upon the gruesome details in a lingering manner. The hope and hard work of the British and all those who came to the salvation of the death camp is emphasized, and the techniques involved in saving the prisoners are interesting. I will have to look up Glyn Hughes to see if he actually existed; as I remarked it’s hard to tell which parts are fictional in such a brief sample.

That first paragraph, though, strikes me as being a bit out of place… how is a historical fiction based on the realities of WW2 also a “horror/fantasy/Stephen King” style story about a “malevolent entity?” I understand the metaphor, but the first paragraph which is presumably an excerpt from the book doesn’t seem to match up with the matter of fact tone of the rest of the sample.

I assume this is an “advertisement” of sorts for the complete book, which can presumably be found on Amazon. Perhaps you should clarify what purpose this item serves and provide us a link to purchase the book. Oh, and the very first mention of a date is in error; you have it down as “British Army stationed in 1980s Germany” when it becomes obvious that 1940’s is meant. I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font here to make it easier to read and give it a more “important” appearance.

Aside from that I see nothing which I would suggest changing. The sample and background provided makes me interested in finding out more about the book.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
43
43
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Welcome to Writing.com!

This is a nifty piece of writing, inspired by biblical principles and using personification to give voice to the seven sins and portray the destruction they wreak in clear and memorable terms. It’s not quite a poem, but it isn’t a simple list either, having elegant repetition and symmetry with a dash of colors to create visual interest.

We see each of the sins laid out with a sentence describing its effects upon one’s life, from Wrath which “extinguishes life” to Sloth which “suffocates growth with decay.” These are creative and ingenious illustrations of the damage caused by each sin.

I might recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure visibility across devices and to bring the words into clearer focus against the busyness of the typical WdC page. Also, it’s always recommended to choose three relevant genres for your items, to make them easier to find when browsing and to give more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would suggest “Spiritual,” “Inspirational” and “Religious,” but there are others.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
44
44
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

I have no idea if this review qualifies for GoT or not, I’m just using the fancy template *Laugh*

First off is something minor and finicky: if you’re going to drop f-bombs, which is perfectly fine, the site prefers you to rate the story 18+.

Second, I spotted a bunch of little typos. I think you wrote too fast. You can run it through Grammarly to tidy it up. Here’s a quick example: "That's OK." She said needs to be “he.” Hmm, I see you’re actually fixing them faster than I can type this up! Good work.

A wild action story with just the kind of stuff we would expect. It reads sort of like a comic book; I can picture the aesthetic of something like that. You have the potential to make something more out of it, or you can leave it at this.

Size 4 Verdana font is usually recommended to ensure readability and compatibility across devices, but don’t feel bad, I say that to almost everyone on the site.

With a bit more character development or something of the sort, you could submit this to "SENIOR CENTER FORUM… they don’t require any prompts and they take anything under 2000 words. You could request a review from Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 via his Crosstimbers Review Forum for advice on character arcs and “goals, stakes, obstacles.”

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
45
45
Review of Eternal Life  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Groan… I forgot to affiliate that last review with Annette’s Anniversary page. Anyway… I’m glad you feel comfortable sharing your beliefs here. Don’t let anyone try to interfere and give you bad ratings just because they believe differently. You haven’t said anything here which most Christians wouldn’t also agree with in a general sense, though perhaps they would argue about the different levels of heaven and whether people are “good enough” to get to heaven but not quite good enough to be with their families.

As you might know, Imagine Dragons lead singer Dan Reynolds grew up in the LDS church, and though he doesn’t hold to much of what they believe anymore, he still likes to say that he’s part of the community and he’s “bringing change from the inside” in relation to LGBTQ rights and loving everyone equally and the youth suicide rate and those serious issues that he feels the church lands on the wrong side of.

I don’t have anything to suggest here, because it’s a personal essay and I’m not too familiar with the LDS beliefs.

Thank you for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
46
46
Review of Tinkering Dreams  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Hi, I’m here to do a couple of Anniversary Reviews to help me finish off Door 20 in GoT. There’s some dispute about whether it needs ten reviews or twenty, and as there’s a limit to how much stink I can raise without being booted out entirely, I wanted to be on the safe side before it’s too late *Laugh* I had no idea the Doors would be closing at midnight tomorrow… Gaby sprung that on us…

Anyway, a fantastic story you have here, full of atmosphere and feeling. We can see everything playing out before us, and it’s “shown not told” quite well. The steampunk elements are carefully woven into the late Victorian era setting, and the dialogue is accurate to a Dickensian extent. I love how Harold has a happy ending, but I do hope he tried to help that poor girl before they parted ways. It was quite distressing to see the abject poverty and desperation she was living in, and the horrors of the sweatshop that Harold was working in are well portrayed.

Was this your own idea, unprompted by any contest? It isn’t often I come across a good steampunk story that wasn’t written to a contest, and the idea of the enormous hat full of gadgets reminded me of last month’s Steampunk contest by Beck. Or was that this month’s…? No, March was the most recent one. Anyway, this was a great read, and I don’t have much to suggest.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
47
47
Review of Parlor  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Oh, this is a nice one. The childish simplicity of the theme is gently developed and drawn along to the happiness of the mature conclusion, as we see the narrator gradually moving through different stages of life, connected by the threads of an ice cream parlor and the gradually evolving metaphor of the sea.

I do love a good poem, and this captures so much of the essence of life. We see the kindness of the narrator’s companion as they buy them ice cream through the difficulties of life. We see a picture of steadfast fidelity as the relationship continues through the years and the metaphors shift to reflect the passage of time.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to make the most of your presentation here at WdC, as having a small text flanked by the busyness of the sidebars tends to draw attention away from your item. You may even want to center the text or choose a cute shade of pink like the ice cream… but that would probably be too goofy.

I really enjoyed this poem. Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
48
48
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I love a good poem, and this is nifty, the free verse flowing loosely across the page with a conversational tone as we see one person musing upon the significance of freedom in this great country.

I love how the entire metaphor is built upon the idea of fireworks, sparkling to life and bringing up great truths about freedom. We see the “flammable expressions of rebellion, reformation, or resistance” and are reminded of how important it is to not only state our views, but to act upon them to bring justice and peace and advance the causes of civilization. Your creativity in making such a simple poem that at first glance looks like a run on sentence, but then we see that it’s an acrostic with metaphorical expression that is quite deep, is admirable.

My views on poetry are laidback and easygoing; I see the crafting of a poem as a highly subjective art form, where heart and soul matter more than rigid forms and rules. I detest counting syllables and measuring meter, and since this is a free verse poem, none of that needs to be touched on - which is great because I would have no clue as to advising anyone on those things.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartg*.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
49
49
Review of Mr. Nits  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Ah, now here’s a creative way of handling the Dialogue 500 prompt that we are required to do! I love this. Formatting first, you’ll want to use Size 4 Verdana to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. I would also suggest adding a space between each line of dialogue to make it easier to read. Paragraphs are quite important even in a simple item.

Yours is different from mine of course, but perfectly suitable to your situation as a Canadian, who doesn’t have to worry about taxes on April 15th. I went the route of someone who had no income in the previous year because he couldn’t work due to illness; I wonder what other fanciful spins there are upon the prompt. Maybe someday I’ll stop by and read a few after the GoT is over and the dust settles *Laugh* Anyway, I don’t see anything I would correct here; the dialogue is amusing and fast paced and brings the story together clearly towards the punchline at the end.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
50
50
Review of Freedom  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones, I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Whee! I’m here with a panicky review to finish the dratted doors with *Rolling* There seems to be some confusion about how many reviews are supposed to be crammed in that last door: I’m absolutely certain Gaby is demanding twenty (*Shock2*) but Annette tells me it’s just ten. At any rate, better safe than sorry, because I had no idea the Doors would be closing tomorrow at midnight. I’m so close!

I love your spin on this prompt. The beavers escaping from the fur farm is heartwarming and exciting, and perfectly suits you as you’re from Canada. We see the aged leader bringing them through adventures and trials to a new more natural and happier life in the wild, and we hope that the ending is a happily ever after. There is a chance they might be found and recaptured.

My story was about a neglected horse… but whatever. I’m surprised you haven’t opened a folder or a book item to hold your GoT stories in. That may be a good idea to keep everything tidy later on. Also, it’s fun to include the specific prompt so people know what you had in mind.

Great story! Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
457 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 19 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2